Did Girl Defined Waste Their 20's Focusing on Boys? | Reaction
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- Опубликовано: 3 окт 2024
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Even just the title of their video is neurotic… they spend SO. MUCH. TIME. moralizing every little thought and action. I can’t imagine living my life like that… I genuinely feel sorry for them
It's a great way to exacerbate religious OCD 🙃
@@theshunnedBandersnatchyes 100%!!! I don’t have OCD but I have generalized anxiety, and growing up fundamentalist genuinely ruined my life for a long time. I would end up basically paralyzed by thought spirals on the daily
Ugh I’m so sorry you had to deal with that. The connection between high control religions and negative effects on mental health is so strong.
Yeah I wasted 20 years of my life in an fundamental evangelical church, and it has made it really hard for relationships. But im looking to turn it around for good and help other people
Yep that's the culture, I grew up in it. It's almost like obsession or addiction.
I think spending 16 years fantasizing about, praying for and writing letters to your future spouse is just going to set you up for massive disappointment and unfulfilled expectations. No real person could possibly live up to the character she painstakingly constructed over those years
Imagine also reading the letters and realizing you aren't what they wanted...
@@skyesprik4772 I actually wondered if the reason she didn't give them to him until a year into their marriage was so that she could read through them and omit the most inconsistent ones
These two definitely dig at each other in kind of passive aggressive ways, I notice how much Kristen really points out how old Bethany was and repeatedly brings up her age. Bethany gets back at Kristen too, but there is definitely some sibling rivalry there
For real! I’m a sarcastic and petty person myself but Kristen made me raise my eyebrows- like, “damn girl! Just tell Bethany you hate her already!” 😅
It’s crazy how they are able to recognize that certain messages that they perpetuate have bad consequences but somehow they never actually detach themselves from those messages completely. They still want women to ultimately end up married with kids. Like Abby Shapiro, they think that while there are exceptions, women are designed to be mothers and wives. They don’t understand that that message inherently leads to girls growing up learning to become obsessive over their relationship status and their purity.
"What would drive us to marriage if not the longings of the flesh?"
Uh, love? Respect? Affection? Need for money? Asexuals and aromantics exist? Even in the Christian faith, lots of people don't get married for sexual reasons. They're very much only considering their worldview, which is sad.
Companionship, support, someone to co-parent your dog, family if you don't have many relatives
@@Moonpie90 or to build your own family if your relatives aren't safe people to be around.
Yes! My son is Aroace. He finds it all gross at the moment. For context he’s 14. He recently turned down a date because dating/romance=gross.
Every time they talk about their mentality during singleness it just shocks me. “Everywhere you go you look around and think ‘Could that be him?’”Never, in my entire life, have I surveyed all the men in the room and sized them all up as potential spouses. And I was raised fundie! It’s totally incomprehensible to me.
My uncle, with dementia from advanced Parkinson's, cracked a joke that made us all laugh. It was the kind of quick, clever joke made at his own expense that used to be a reliable feature of every interaction with him. It was a joy to see that he's still in there! I could tell he enjoyed it too.
My win for the week is that i got asked to be a bridesmaid for one of my closest friend’s wedding! We’ve been close since middle school and im so honored that she asked me to be one of her bridesmaids!
My win for the week - I hit a personal record weight lifting!! 400 lbs on the leg press, baby!! 🎉
I do like that they are having public reflection conversations. Ten years ago, I used to think by now(28) I would be married and have a kid. I'm not and am so glad not to be. I have changed so much, and so much change has happened in the world around me. Now I just need some Christian woman to have the same conversation about being a mother/ motherhood. Making a checklist & timeline for God & life can create an internal pit.
My win for the week is that I got a can crusher. I drink a ton of sparkling water, but it can take up so much space. Not anymore.
My win for the week is: I got all my wisdom teeth removed last week and I’m well on my way to recovery! It was very nerve-wracking to go through with the procedure, but I’m so glad it’s behind me now.
This is the first time I’ve seen Bethany and Kristen outright acknowledge that they’ve perpetuated something they don’t agree with anymore. It’s refreshing to see them doing some honest self-reflection, rather than just changing their minds and pretending they never said anything different.
Omw Im also having mine removed. 1 was done 2 weeks ago and another one next month! Its sooo nerve wrecking!
Oof, getting your wisdom teeth out is no joke 😬 sending quick recovery vibes to both of you!!
My opinion is that these 2 are totally fake and don’t live by half the things they tell these young impressionable girls listening to them. I think Bethany’s marriage is misery and her husband is in misery and they put a false sense of a good marriage out there.
My win for the week is that I entered my third trimester of pregnancy ❤
I feel like they’re on the cusp of a huge realization.
It bugs me when they use shame based language, like calling girls “lazy” for not plugging into a church community. Maybe they didn’t feel accepted or even knew how to get plugged in. Telling them they’re lazy is not going to encourage anyone!
One of the women on the most recent season of Love is Blind brought one of those 'future husband' letters and gave it to the person she assumed she would marry. It was read aloud. It was uncomfy.
PLEASE GOD NO 😭
Oh my. I can feel the secondhand cringe just from hearing this scenario.
honestly they are just so fake and their interest in each other is so forced. i'm sad that there are girls who look up to them.
Amazing video as always B 🥰 what frustrates me is that they are telling women and girls not to obsess over relationships, but that is basically all their videos are about. The same goes for most Christian influencers, in Christian culture there is NOTHING more celebrated than marriage. Obviously that's not just their problem, but I'd really like to see more videos promoting other aspects of life for young girls, like having a good career, education, service towards others, etc. We can't just constantly talk about sex and relationships and then be surprised when girls are obsessed with sex and relationships.
My win for the week is I got a voice acting job!! Applied to it on a whim, they were even requesting a male voice but I applied anyway, and ended up with the job! Couldn’t believe it, I was so shocked, as this is a dream job for me and would also help us so much financially. Thank you for giving me a space to share it w someone!
Love your videos, very interesting watching Bethy and Kristen interact w each other, I’ve never seen anything like it from people who choose to spend so much time together on screen willingly lol, so hostile in the most subtle ways
That’s so fun!!! What a cool opportunity, congratulations 🎉
And thank you 😊 it’s definitely interesting to witness the tension between the two of them. I wonder if anyone in their lives points that out to them.
@@BHaney thank you so much! 😊
And surely they have, though considering their circle, I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s expressed in an equally passive aggressive manner/indirectly.. think the Caroline Easom skits of the church people talking to each other lol
This is really one of the things I regret the MOST about my youth - being SO OBSESSED with finding a husband.
I felt really isolated and alone growing up, and this whole christian narrative that when I finally found 'the one' that he was going to rescue me from this life where I didn't have full purpose, meaning and personhood was a really toxic one that was heavily perpetuated by the church and church culture.
For me in my personal experience with religion, there was so much emphasis placed on WOMEN finding a husband - and again on this idea that we weren't really, full humans who could live a full, satisfying life until we were coupled up. That along with all the strict guidelines around what you were and weren't allowed to do with a member of the opposite sex in a relationship until marriage made it so that it literally felt like my life couldn't START until I got married. It made it seem like so much was just off-limits to me as a human being until I had that special person in my life.
This meant that I really didn't take the time to truly get to know myself, I didn't take the time to enjoy relationships without constantly 'looking for my husband.' I didn't fully value my own experience as a valid experience because I was so deeply convinced again that who I was simply wasn't enough, and that I would never feel fulfilled and complete until I was married.
I really wish I had been able to break out of this way of thinking much sooner, before I got together with the man I would eventually end up marrying. I could have had so much more fun, connected with so many more people, had so many other experiences had I had the mindset that my life actually counted and mattered just because I WAS LIVING IT.
This whole idea that the church perpetuates that your life doesn't start - especially if you're a woman - until you're married is really toxic, and I think it leads to a LOT of huge issues for people and a LOT of rushed marriages that likely aren't actually healthy or right for people.
This absolutely resonates with me and I'm sorry you also feel this way. I can't imagine how much more I could have achieved in HS and in college if wasn't focused on trying to be in love within a man. It's meant to keep us down and from reaching our potential.
@@agillen378 EXACTLY! It's just one of the ways in which this culture robs us of our humanity. But we can get it back! We just have to be diligent about it now :) So sorry you had to go through that, and I hope you are finding more and more of yourself now!
Flashback, growing up in Protestant church I also went through this. Around 11 or 12 pastor, teachers and parents told me to pray for futurr husband: I made a list and wanted dark hair, blue eyes, taller than me etc. I wasnt obsessed praying here or there....ended with hubby that is 1 inch shorter than me. You made good remarks and I agree on many if your points!
My win for the week, I printed and framed some of our wedding photos (to give out as gifts to our parents etc) even though I'm so self conscious about how I look in them. It took me a month just to build the courage to unbox the USB from [the] photographer. I even framed 2 for our living room
Oh these thumbnails killed me!! 😂
Love the hair! My win for the week is I was diagnosed with a neurodivergent disorder and I finally feel validated. I’ve always struggled with feeling out of place and various sensory issues and getting an answer that I have been vocal about is the best feeling. Especially after 4 decades of living and suffering every day.
Breaking news! Girl Defined do know the word 'nuance.' Time will tell if they continue to develop their skill in practicing it, or if it will remain a vague concept they gesture at while still spouting legalistic and rigid ideas of how the world works
If she could just admit that the reading through the letters were cringe.... just admit it.
I work with a girl who is non-verbal and 17, and I know she would love the event that your brother attended! I never knew there was such a thing - that’s so so amazing ❤
The event is done once a year through the Tim Tebow Foundation, hopefully they have one near you next year! It’s such a fun time 🎉
I agree wholeheartedly, an event like that really does sound amazing! Thank you, B, for sharing!
It's so, so important for those with disabilities to be able to have moments of normalcy like that. I taught a high school music class last year with a mix of traditional and non-verbal students. When my non-verbal students would arrive at class, the look of joy on their faces was contagious, and everyone had so much fun!
My win for the week after six week post breakup, I celebrated Valentine’s Day with my parents and sister by having a lovely at home sit down dinner with heart shaped pizzas, salad, a signature cocktail, and desserts! I teach pre-k, so I also received some sweet gifts (including a tulip plant) from some of my kids. Despite my overall feelings about romantic love and my being “no boys allowed” right now, I felt really loved and cared for 🥰
Sorry in advance y’all, I have a LOT of thoughts about this video and these “girlies”.
I am STILL in shocked by Bethany’s behavior when she bought a whole wedding dress while Kristen was shopping for hers. I could and would NEVER!!
In my opinion, they actually do give some decent advice, but it’s still centered around being married and being a wife/mom as their only purpose in life. Bethy and Kristin seem SO close to being self aware, but do they not realize that they’re in the fundamentalist community where being married and being a wife/mom as an identity embedded in their belief system??
Unfortunately I relate to Girl Defined with the writing letters and praying for my future husband as a teen/young woman in my 20s. I had whole lists and letters and prayers from the time I was 14 to the time I was 28 for my future husband when I was a hard core evangelical Christian. I cringe Looking back and reflecting on those things now as an almost 32 single woman who no longer identifies as an evangelical Christian. I “idolized” marriage, finding a man, and dating solely to find a future husband. It was an obsession for me. And it wasn’t healthy at all. Even reflecting back on my recent relationship, I saw some of the same obsessions of “is this man my future husband” that kept me in the relationship way longer than I needed to be in, despite dismantling purity culture and being in the middle of deconstructing my beliefs about God and Christianity. As my mom told me one week after my breakup, there’s more to life than finding a man and being in a relationship with a man. Nobody should have being in a relationship or getting married as their WHOLE life. That being said, I do want to get married. But now, I’m more concerned with being a healed and well rounded woman than being married or even dating right now.
**Side note: ironically, now that I’ve been dating outside of the evangelical Christian realm, the type of guys I’ve dated who are “non Christians” have been very kind and supportive and just as morally sound and align with my values more than the guys I’ve dated in my evangelical Christian days!
I also did a Night to Shine last week! It is seriously the best night of the year!!!
It was amazing! So cool to see someone else who went too 😊 we’ll definitely go again next year!
My niece on my husband's side and my cousin's son have both attended this event in the Chicagoland area! So magical! My win for the week is that my youngest daughter was offered a maternity leave fill in as music teacher at the school she works at. This is what her degree is in, but she's been too scared to make the leap. She's excited and I'm proud!
My initial assumption was that praying for a future husband was like praying for the health and happiness and god putting them in your life at the right time vs praying for them more as a fantasy for what they will be, what they look like, etc. super interesting distinction
I don’t hate everything they said but there’s still a huge undercurrent of “if you just learn your spiritual lesson then God will give you a husband” and not only is that not true, but it’s hurtful to single people and to those in difficult marriages. I also think they’re really glossing over the fact that Bethany getting with her husband any earlier in life would have been inappropriate and that’s why none of the letters fit. I don’t buy that she was super content single for a second though. Marriage is her entire personality. 😂
My win for the week: I moved into my first apartment yesterday!
My sister went to Night to Shine many years ago. She was such a star on the red carpet! I have this awesome video of her hyping up the crowd. I'm so grateful for the people who make it happen.
Not only that but I don't know any men who are spending so much time focusing on a future spouse or trying to be perfect for someone else. It's leveraged against women like so much else about church life is.
My win for the week is my fiancé and I finished writing our wedding vows! I can’t wait until our wedding in April.
That’s so sweet!! I hope you two have an amazing wedding 🎉💛
In reference to 15:51, I actually have a letter I wrote at 12 where I said my future husband must be a virgin, not curse, have no tattoos, and love God. 11 years later and I’ve had sex, have tattoos, and curse 😂 so I don’t think my fiancé will be offended if he doesn’t meet those standards.
WFTW: I got to pick up my wedding dress!!!
See, things can change over the years! Lol
And yay!! That’s so exciting 😍
Thank you for sharing about the event with your brother! I don’t know his disability but I’m the mom of a toddler with ASD. It makes my heart so happy to hear about events made especially for people with disabilities ❤❤❤
Their perspective shift was a pleasant surprise!
I grew up in a conservative-ish Christian environment (hearing everything they said here, though not necessarily from my own family) (and still am conservative-ish in some ways) and was always secretly baffled by the emphasis on marriage, praying for your spouse, etc. Marriage (/strong nuclear family life) is for the most part disregarded or looked at a bit negatively in the Bible yet people talked about it like it was the highest/truest calling, and i was always thinking "what Bible are YOU reading? What am i missing here?"
Are... are they slowly deconstructing? Probably not, but they're definitely maturing & I appreciate that they're correcting what they previously preached.
They’re deconstructing from very extremist christian to slightly less extremist
No matter how much in denial they are, Bethany is deconstructing but it can take years, especially getting over the cognitive dissonance.
My win for the week is that I didn’t overwork myself this week.
I have not listened to them much and I haven’t watched this video yet. But yes. Yes they did. Because that is what super conservative Christian girls do if they are unwed in their 20s. I’m a moderately conservative Christian girl, but with far less weird purity culture in my background. I still probably would have focused too much on it, but I solved that problem the other acceptable way and got married at 21 and moved on to other life issues. We’re still married 15 years later, no regrets-but there are also real challenges about getting married so young and then having to mature WHILE married. It be pretty amazing if Christian girls could wait a bit and just like, not spent all their time and energy on men in the mean time. I think the culture makes it really hard to feel whole without a husband. That’s not traditional Christianity. That’s a weird product of the culture combining Christianity and American ideals.
@15:45 you make a great point! Reminds of the second Shrek movie when shrek reads through all of Fiona’s “Mrs. Fiona Charming” scribbles 😂
It's all well and good to look back at your choices and ideas with a new perspective but they are not taking any responsibility or accountability in how they told other girls/women to follow those ideas.
B, the event you talked about sounded so heartwarming!
I don’t think I ever wrote a letter to my future spouse but I did write a list of qualities I was looking for in a partner. I wish marriage wasn’t as pedestalized as it is. I love my husband but the reality is people are people who need grace and will not live up to 15+ years of expectations. I also wish celebrating the beauty of singlehood was more normalized. It is such a great time to build community and find out who you are as a person. I also feel like people who have been through @busive relationships are left out of these conversations. If that is the case for you, please take time to heal and know that you are worthy of love. ❤️ Therapy can be so powerful.
The event really was incredible!
And I totally agree with you! It’s great to envision the traits you want in a partner but I wish marriage wasn’t seen as the ultimate focus especially for young, religious people.
I know I’m not there target audience (single, atheist, child-free by choice) so it’s probably not surprising that this video still gives me the ICK. They acknowledge for a second that some people aren’t going to get married, but they never even question if that might be something that the person might not want for themselves. It feels like they think everyone wants what they want, but god may have other plans and the person just has to accept that. Wouldn’t it make more sense for god to make remaining single a path that some people desire? Rather than making people feel bad that they can’t have the life they wanted? I just don’t understand the way they think.
Same, except I'm a married child free atheist. I don't even know if this is the life they organically want, I think they were brainwashed to want it. That's what's so glaring to me. These little girls being raised fundie are so blatantly brainwashed, and it's so disgusting to me! I was raised Catholic, and I used to think catholicism is extreme, but it's downright mundane by comparison lol
Bethany was born in 1988 so she would have been 23 in 2011 and if Dav is 5.5 years younger than her, he would have been 17 and a half at that time!
Yeesh. Glad they waited a few years before they “formed a friendship” I guess 😬
Your channel is like the healthy version of cringe/snark content for me lol, like I can get my Girl Defined fix without the negativity and reactivity of many other channels
I agree! B has the right level of sassiness without making me feel bad about being a Christian 🤣.
I'm transgender so I never was a 13 year old girl. I was a 13 year old boy who wanted to be a 13 year old girl.
I felt like I had to constantly search for a future wife because of purity culture. I was a hormonal teen full of urges and told marriage was the only way to relieve them. So it wasn't just girls. It's profoundly unhealthy and I would have been so much happier if I hadn't been raised that way.
I love my wife. She is my everything. I would have never had the courage to be myself without her. I still wish I hadn't spent decades of my life obsessing about finding her.
I just can't with how selfish, self-righteous, and privileged these 2 always sound. They act like god is their daddy, and they're spoiled kids who throw tantrums to get what they want. For example: Your heart was DEMANDING god to give you a husband? Sounds like someone who has never been told NO. How selfish and privileged.
I'm glad they talked about how praying isn't manifesting. I've had that impression from them in the past- esp. Bethany.
36 and been praying for a worthy man for awhile now.. and journaling👀🧐 Where is he at?
Maybe he’s in New York in the midst of a spiritual battle…better prayer warrior up!!
@@BHaney 🤣 I have wanted to visit NYC more recently. I'm not praying hard enough... or maybe im one of those women who is meant to stay single.
Listening to these 2 is like nails on an chalkboard! They love the sounds of their own voices!
I loved hearing about the disabled prom. We don't have anything like that in our area, and it's something I'd love for my son to enjoy someday.
Win for the week is I have a second interview for a promotion! Also had a date night 😌
I love when you post and wish we were friends!
Thank you! I’m so glad you like my videos ☺️💛
My win for the week is I have stopped working as a hairstylist behind the chair to pursue fashion more (but still work out of my house sometimes) & In my trip back home this past weekend I have had 3 clients book me and even more ask and I feel so flattered that clients still drive/uber to me and share so much of their life with me💕
That’s amazing! Cheers to your continued success 🥂🎉
WftW: My wife and I made our first foray into DnD with a short 2-person campaign this weekend while our son had his monthly sleepover with his grandparents. It was goofy, a little ill-prepared, and so so much fun! We killed some zombies and discovered the source of the growing zombie outbreak in town.
Fun fact, I wrote a letter to my future husband at church camp in 7th or 8th grade, and I wrote something to the effect of "I hope he has blue eyes and loves Jesus as much as I do." Both came true because he does indeed have beautiful blue eyes, and he and I are both no longer Christian, so I guess we love Jesus just as much as each other 🙃
My win for the week is that I have spent all morning putting together new furniture in my art studio and it looks SO fantastic now!
I relate to the idea of putting marriage on a pedestal. I feel like purity culture and the emphasis on marriage pushed me into 2 bad marriages. I now say that the only reason I will marry ever again is for financial reasons.
Excellent thumbnail as per ush
Thank you ☺️
When Bethy is talking about imagining your future husbands eyes watching you when your doing anything physical with someone is like when religion use “gods always watching” to shame you into acting how they want.
We have "night to shine" where I live. And it's always a big deal. It's a wonderful thing for all those involved. ❤
They didn’t think this would be very overwhelming for a (presumably) young man to receive? Even one who subscribes to their specific brand of religion?
My win for the week: I moved into my first apartment yesterday!
Eesh. Kristen comes off being so catty as Bethany is talking about her life 😬
I absolutely hate these women .🥹 One of the wisest ladies in my church told me to stop praying for my future husband & to pray for myself & the future God has for me, because at the end of the day, you don’t know for sure if you will get married or when. That rocked my world! I’m now happily married and just turned 24. I haven’t done any of these weird things these ladies did to “get married”, I just lived my life & it just happened! 💓
The issue that irks me is the fact that teenage girls are lead to focus on landing a husband as the purpose and fulfillment they’re made for,how incredibly sad to be distracted from pursuing your talents,interests,skills and dreams because you think the end goal is wifehood.
My win for the week: I moved into my first apartment yesterday!
My WFTW: I beat my sis in a 2/3 rock, paper, scissors game. Whoever lost had to wash out an iron skilet. Things got so heated and nerve-wracking I literally did a victory dance after I won 😂😂😂
Haha that’s a great approach to conflict resolution, I’m glad you won! 🤣
I can’t imagine growing up and worrying about every boy or man I met or dated possibly being someone I’m going to marry lol
It’s so odd to me that they see it as marriage is the main part of life and then everything else follows. Instead of everything else and then adding marriage as like a cherry on top
My win for the week is that I realized I need a break from sex for a little bit and I know my partner will be cool with it. we’re both autistic and sometimes burn ourselves out on physical contact 😬 the reason this is a win is that I’m not usually good at identifying feelings or sensations within myself let alone deciding how to improve them.
Side note - I was halfway thru this video when I realized you and I are wearing the EXACT same sweatshirt, B. 😅
Ah, twinning!! 💛👯♂️
I have a good friend met her husband at church he is a child predator went to prison so it doesn’t always mean church
Yikes!
I feel purity culture, the way churches put importance on women becoming wives/mothers and even societies treatment of unmarried women can easily lead to young women obsessing over finding a spouse.
I’ve visited too many churches over the years that emphasize a woman’s worth is being a wife and having babies.
They are thisclose to recognizing that they idolize(d) marriage.
Win of the week: I dyed my hair today! I went from a medium brown to a nice rose/rose gold color.
Do you think if Dave had read all of Bethany‘s letters while they were still engaged, would he have married her?
My win for the week: I moved into my first apartment yesterday!
How exciting! Cheers to your new adventure 🎊
My win for the week is that I got to go to a dance party with my friends last night.
By the time they are done, most of their lives will have been wasted, tbh...
Girl Defined and Paul and Morgan: 2 awful tastes that I can only imagine taste worse together.
Yeah that project is gonna be interesting to watch 😬
My win for the week was successfully throwing an 80th celebration for family. I was a little shocked my the amount of reasonable takes in this video, gives a little hope that GD can grow.
One letter as an activity, maybe.
Multiple: spiritual chain letters,
willing a spouse into existence.
I said what I said 😂
It feels like they are just suggesting you switch from overtly obsessing about guys to covertly doing so- all the wonderful things they listed for single people to do, they did specifically to find a husband- and it was just a side effect that those things also lead to community and friendships. I also wonder if these two were deeply affected by the (allegedly) abusive behaviors of their parents, especially their mother. As someone who has just a cold mother, not as bad as what it seems these two were raised by, I am 27 and have been in therapy for a year and I am slowly realizing just how badly it affected me and changed how i react and behave as an adult. I cannot imagine throwing religiosity and intense sheltering into the mix.
My win for the week was learning that a lot of my struggles with education and work has been ADHD, and possibly autism, not dyslexia, like we originally thought. The school would never tell my mom exactly what my learning disability was, so as an adult with many mental health issues I have decided to start figuring out what was going on all these years. And it appears it has been ADHD with autism. It explains so much of my childhood.😊
That party sounds amazing.
Love Night to Shine and your face! Lol sending you crisp and cozy vibes from Michigan, B! ❤
Nigh to shine is so incredible! Thanks for the cozy Michigan vibes 🥰💛
While Bethany has some valid points about singleness, I think it's also true that she has probably over-spiritualized the whole 'being content in Christ' as a single by babbling about fellowship and prayer etc. The things that she mentions are not unique spiritual experiences only available to single women. Married women can also experience delighting themselves in the Lord, and communion with God and fellowship with other believers. If she hadn't married, I have a hard time believing that those things would have made her happy for the rest of her life - especially as she saw her other sisters and friends marry and have children, and considering how marriage and guy obsessed she was growing up. I think instead of telling girls and women "You HAVE to get married, or your life will always be lacking and you'll never be happy", the Church needs to tell them"You CAN be happy even if you DON'T get married". Someone who is married isn't more spiritually mature than someone who is single, and someone who is single isn't more holy than someone who is married.
They still seem to assume that women who want to get married will eventually; and they don't talk about the fact that women usually out-number men in churches, and that while some women may really desire marriage, they might not due to the gender imbalance - no matter how godly they are.
A hearty amen from a never-married 46-year-old Christian woman. Marriage is never a guarantee, nor should it be idolized the way it is in most of modern, western Christendom. My heroines of the faith are women like Amy Carmichael and Jackie Pullinger, who were single either their whole life, or most of their life. God can use single women in amazing ways.
I think religion props marriage up on a pedestal so women ignore red flags and put up with crappier relationships because they have always wanted to be a wife and mother (and lack of education doesn’t help)
I just going to rant right now but I sometimes find some Christian videos who talk about singleness, that are honestly so cliche, shallow water and also Christian’s that talk about how don’t worry your men of God is coming, soo annoying and robotic..
Yayyyy ok win for the week is I made dinner every night!
That’s awesome!! It’s tough to do that every night. 🙌🏻
I know is this off topic. These ladies are exhausting. Imagine your life goals might change from the age of 13. It should be funny.
Do they always talk this fast?im exhausted
32:06 Was Bethany even working then? I thought her parents bought her the dress.
“Especially if you make a reel or post about it”…….her lucky husband.
Why…must they talk so fast?
They’re trying to chase the point lol
Tbh I appreciate that they do. They still ramble but at least they get there relatively quickly! I have to put most creators on 1.25-2x speed to pay attention/keep up with my brain.
Praying for your future husband also perpetuates a false idea that you only will ever have one spouse. Even in the strictest anti-divorce circles, you can have widows. The idea that God would only have one husband for you is not Biblical. And that’s not considering the times divorce and remarriage are talked about in the Bible!
So, what if your first husband passes away young, or you divorce due to abuse, or cheating etc, would they then suggest their listener passes the used love notes to the 2nd husband?😂 if he’s your “true husband” as these ladies would likely suggest. How awkward. Lol these girlies have SUCH tunnel vision. Most of us marry young thinking it’s forever but many times it doesn’t end up that way nor should it!
That’s a really good question. I would be so curious to hear what they suggest if someone were in a situation like that…in the case of divorce though they’d probably say something about divorce not being an option and to pray to God to help you be a better wife so you can have a happy marriage 🥴🤦🏻♀️
Being on the asexual spectrum all the obsession about how I should get married screwed up my view on a relationships when I was younger. May still do, but I'm at least more able to recognize when it happens.
I also had to argue about not wanting to have kids when I was young. I might adopt at some point, but the thought of getting pregnant and giving birth is extreme levels of body horror to me. The fact that so many people find it appropriate to try to convince underaged girls to want to have babies will never not be creepy to me. (It's bad for adults, too, but at least slightly less creepy.)
@10:40 ... sounds kinda like grooming huh. It's not always a sexual thing.