only Norm would end the joke with, "so, yeah, so the damn rhino... he GORED me...yeah, he GORED me! And, ya know why he gored me? 'Cause he's a rhino!"
The actual oldest joke is Sumerian. Something about how wives when sitting on their husbands laps tend to pass gas. Half remembered, and I’m sure something was lost in translation. Edit: "Something which has never occurred since time immemorial; a young woman did not fart in her husband's lap." Thanks to @Gavin Kiseback
I saw him live about 10-12 years ago. It was literally the best stand up I've ever seen- and everyone there was saying the same thing. Our faces were hurting from laughing so much. It's hard to explain-he has a unique charisma that makes everything he says hilarious
The ACTUAL oldest joke in the world: Yesterday I saw a dog with no nose. Really? How does he smell? Terrible! Circa-Caves of Lascaux, , , long time ago.
@@gFamWeb sarcasm rarely informs or is designed to educate, it's snark, condescension and wit. If you think there's a joke somewhere among the depictions of animals on those cave walls or that humans at that time enjoyed a vocabulary rich enough to express it in pictures, the joke went over your head. I'm sorry you didn't get it, that WAS the "tell."
Oh, yeah, he's been doing standup. Ever since before The Late Late Show, of course. But since he left, he's gone back into it. That's primarily why he walked away from the show in the first place. He's gonna be hosting a new game show for ABC later this year titled The Hustler.
Man you know you’re starting to age when you expected him in a suit and his swear words to be voiced over by foreign gibberish... ...and, of course, a dead robot skeleton to compliment his jokes XD
craig was great in being entertaining by being simple and the conversations are truly funny, diverse and at times serious I miss it nowadays. I remember when his studio got flooded and his whole monoloque was about how trashy it is and it was so entertaining and he had some of the most rare guests on his show.
When I'd hang at a college friend's place, and another friend would eventually come round too and ring her doorbell, I'd shout "WHO'S THAT AT THE DOOR?!!" Then we'd run to the door flailing our fists , humming the Secretariat theme and welcoming him in.
One of my favorite specials of his! Though Netflix PLEASE get some of his older ones too (hint hint!). He's a lot of fun to watch.. and I really miss seeing him on TV nightly. He seems to be doing just fine though :D The Hassayampa inn bit is, also, quite awesome.
He could very well have seen the joke on the tv show "Only Fools & Horses" where Uncle Albert tells it/recreates it (much better version in my opinion)
Craig is a great talk show host (one of best all-time!), but he's such a natural comedian too. I see so many funny celebrities be horrible with stand-up, but Craig looks like he was made for this!
Craig Ferguson is an AMAZING entertainer and comedian. Let's all hope that someone give's him A NEW SHOW!!!!! Master Entertainer! Let's make it happen!
Its funny how its the oldest joke in the world told by ancient egyptian, yet when craig tells the joke the hunter used a gun to kill the animals he hunted xD That was the real joke for me, blasted in tears and laughter xd
I thought the oldest joke was the Sumerian joke, roughly: “Since the beginning of time, there was never a young wife who did not fart in her husband’s lap”
@@funkblack I think it might be a sex joke, given the use of ‘lap’. It’s basically saying every woman farts while either cuddling or having sex. Kind of like those jokes/stories today that talk about how comfortable spouses get with their bodily functions around each other.
How did he get younger since his talkshow days? It's like they dialed back his age ten years. Or exchanged it for girth. Either way, it works. Which being a comedian in this day and age is saying something.
One episode of Only Fools and Horses from back in the day when Uncle Albert is saying one of his boring “during the war” stories then screams and says I wet myself. Rodney says don’t worry, war was a scary time or something to that effect. And Uncle Albert replies, no I mean just now when I screamed!
loool oh my God, I actually remember this joke. But the version I heard, it was a Knight telling the King a story about how he was hunting a Lion. The ending is the same: "The Lion was approaching and.. AAaahhhh!!... Apologies, your Majesty, but I just shat myself"
It's weird for me to hear Craig say "Fuck" instead of 🇸🇪(tootsfruits)🇸🇪
Hahahaha whatsa come and a go, TOOTSIE FRUITS!
Jofrey Lupul 😂
Croiky! Boolala!
🏴YerArseInParsley🏴
So 🇦🇩(agaranba) true!
Man this guy needs a talk show
Waris Shah Baba and a robot sidekick
Right?? I wonder how well he’ll be in a talk show.
And a robot skeleton as a sidekick 😉
This comment had 420 likes, so I decided to leave reply: Yes. And a Horse.
😂
Craig was the best talk show host back then. I really miss this guy so much.
Same :(
Somebody convince him to host the late late show again. :(
@@EbonyPope, nah. Look how great he looks. Not doing the show has taken years off him.
He was like almost as good as conan
@@Zetsuke4 He was way better than Conan in my humble opinion.
It's so weird seeing him wearing something else than a suit
hE has TATTOOS
Hey that's my profile picture.
Yeah. So odd.
And not sitting behind a desk flirting with a pretty actress
Tattood
Ancient Egyptian: (when his friend doesn't laugh at the oldest joke in the world)
"Maybe I didn't carve it right."
Ancient Egypyians write on papyrus schrolls.
America just keeps getting greater! I love your name 💯
This was funnier than the video.
@Lonely Ranger
Beside the gloryhole ?
Your name is incredibly inaccurate, given the current president. But, I'm sure that's why you made it. Yikes.
I'd love to see this joke told in animated form, using Craig's voices and lines for the characters.
Indeed!
That is weird, I think the first time I heard that joke, it was in an animation you send it me.
With Drew Carey as well.
Fuck my ass fuck my ass!
Ahh yes, like HarmonQuest
He's still got it. Laughing at your own jokes is half the battle.
Really? I mean I love Craig. really I do. I still love to watch his late night in youtube till this day, but (I think) this Joke bombed.
@@Abo39FooR Look who's talking about bombing
@@sick1mind1 lol...he wasn't ready🤣
@@sick1mind1 lol
@@sick1mind1 Out of nowhere😂😂
Yes that's oldest joke in the world, I just confirmed with Norm MacDonald
only Norm would end the joke with, "so, yeah, so the damn rhino... he GORED me...yeah, he GORED me! And, ya know why he gored me? 'Cause he's a rhino!"
Now I tell ya, that wasn't a joke you'd hear from any 1930's radio announcer.
AlRedEye doc, she’s choking
... or so the Germans would have you believe
I also confirmed it with, you guessed it, Frank Stallone.
Craig goddammit do a Netflix show with Geoff please. We'd all watch.
The actual oldest joke is Sumerian. Something about how wives when sitting on their husbands laps tend to pass gas. Half remembered, and I’m sure something was lost in translation.
Edit: "Something which has never occurred since time immemorial; a young woman did not fart in her husband's lap."
Thanks to @Gavin Kiseback
Fart is the oldest joke.
lap was mistranslated
@@RobbyBoy167 What should it have been? I'm curious.
@FIFA ...(puzzled silence ' cause my CPU was slow) ....(Eureka)hahahaha! Naughty hehe.
Glad I'm not the only one in the comments who knows about that. I am a bit disappointed that someone beat me to the punch, though.
I like that this isnt just any random clip from his special but he actually promotes the special here. And its also a part of the special
I saw him live about 10-12 years ago. It was literally the best stand up I've ever seen- and everyone there was saying the same thing. Our faces were hurting from laughing so much. It's hard to explain-he has a unique charisma that makes everything he says hilarious
The ACTUAL oldest joke in the world:
Yesterday I saw a dog with no nose.
Really? How does he smell?
Terrible!
Circa-Caves of Lascaux, , , long time ago.
will crow - Monty pyton forever
Source? This honestly only makes sense in modern English.
@@gFamWeb "Source?"
Dude you don't actually think i'm being serious do you?
@@blackbird5634 sarcasm usually has a tell to show people you're joking, your original comment did not have that
@@gFamWeb sarcasm rarely informs or is designed to educate, it's snark, condescension and wit.
If you think there's a joke somewhere among the depictions of animals on those cave walls or that humans at that time enjoyed a vocabulary rich enough to express it in pictures, the joke went over your head.
I'm sorry you didn't get it, that WAS the "tell."
YES!!! So excited that Netflix is tapping into and supporting the genius and legend that is Craig Ferguson!!!!
Had no idea he was doing standup now. I miss him in a suit. And Secretariat.
Oh, yeah, he's been doing standup. Ever since before The Late Late Show, of course. But since he left, he's gone back into it. That's primarily why he walked away from the show in the first place. He's gonna be hosting a new game show for ABC later this year titled The Hustler.
SECRETARIAT????? 🎶🎵🐎🎵🎶.
For sure...and Jeff the robot skeleton
He needed to be holding a snake cup.
Guest “What’s in that?”
....long pause
Craig “Confidence”
Have you always been this quick?
@@xLightcrystalx Not quick enough, else I'd have gotten out if this [tootsie-frootsie] dump by now.
I thought this guy only flirted with hot actresses, i thought that was his job.
I really miss his show :(
Someone's been watching The Jay Leno Fly channel. :)
Can you imagine if he was still doing that in the post “Me too” era?
Nah, he’d still do it!
It was. That and arguing with a gay robot skeleton.
@@dielaughing73 You mean Geoff.
"Carefull icarus"
Geoff, why are you so mad?
Actual Ancient Joke:
Father: "What are you doing?"
Son: "Nothing."
Father: "Well don't do it here."
Kratos and Boy.
Craig: Owl, owl, guy with a dog's head
Crowd: *laughs in Ancient Egyptian*
Man you know you’re starting to age when you expected him in a suit and his swear words to be voiced over by foreign gibberish...
...and, of course, a dead robot skeleton to compliment his jokes XD
@Nayr C
Man I do miss The Late Late Show when he was still the host
I don't wanna be that guy but his swear words weren't censored with foreign counter parts, it was just gibberish that sounded like so
@@samuraibeluga3749 nah there was a fair few australian words instead
@@ForzaOwnz dont recall.
Excuse me, I don't know what the [tootsy-froots!] you're talking about.
There will never be another talk show host of his caliber. I'm thankful for you tube to watch him.
craig was great in being entertaining by being simple and the conversations are truly funny, diverse and at times serious I miss it nowadays. I remember when his studio got flooded and his whole monoloque was about how trashy it is and it was so entertaining and he had some of the most rare guests on his show.
When I'd hang at a college friend's place, and another friend would eventually come round too and ring her doorbell, I'd shout "WHO'S THAT AT THE DOOR?!!" Then we'd run to the door flailing our fists , humming the Secretariat theme and welcoming him in.
This is so pure
Faith in Humanity restored!!.
I love Craig, on my 17th birthday, I went to go see a live taping of his show, back when he had the late late show on cbs.
The oldest German joke still not been told yet
Well Monty Python did a few episodes of the Flying Circus in German so... that counts... for us?
How many Germans do you need to change a lightbulb?
one
That's because they killed all the funny people.
@@ramblinbob1918 haha I've heard that joke before but still
How do you say virgin in German? Dauts goodun tite.
Never seen Craig do stand up....he's really good
Or really sucks.
I'm so glad Netflix out this clip on RUclips! A great big from a great comedian!
“My friend who is an Egyptologist called me up and said ‘we found this joke.’”
[Buffering]
“Well, it’s going to wait a while longer.”
One of my favorite specials of his! Though Netflix PLEASE get some of his older ones too (hint hint!). He's a lot of fun to watch.. and I really miss seeing him on TV nightly. He seems to be doing just fine though :D
The Hassayampa inn bit is, also, quite awesome.
wow he kinda changed a lot, maybe I'm just not used to him wearing a suit and him cursing without the "oo la la"
joesr31 he’s gotten quite thick lately too
If someone doesn't subtitle 1:14 as *_"tootsie frootsie"_* , all hope is lost.
By the way he told that joke, I'm convinced it was Eddie Izzard who first told him.
That makes so much sense because Eddie Izzard IS immortal
He could very well have seen the joke on the tv show "Only Fools & Horses" where Uncle Albert tells it/recreates it (much better version in my opinion)
Ian Rae I thought the same thing lol bitey bitey scratchy scratchy
“Stripey, claws... RAWWR” the first person in thought id was Eddie. Well done.
I can see it.
The best comedians cant keep themselves from laughing at their own jokes on stage 😂
Craig Is amazing! I'm sad that his late show wasn't more loved when it was on
His old talk show was awesome
Please come back to late night Craig Ferguson...you make me smile 🙂
I'm sorry but when he talks, I just hear Gobber. 😆❤
Lauren Brown OMGG soo trueee!!
What the hell is gobber?
@@tantiwahopak101 how to train your dragon
@@MomentsReprive wtf
British viewers might recognise this joke from a episode of only fools and horses.
I love his giggles.
This man needs to have a show.Best nightshow host ever
It's a great day in America anytime I get to watch Craig
Superb storytelling
Craig is a great talk show host (one of best all-time!), but he's such a natural comedian too. I see so many funny celebrities be horrible with stand-up, but Craig looks like he was made for this!
Please come back to late late show 🥺 we all missing you so much 😭👏🏻
We want you back doing interviews. For gods sakes Craig.
Man, I love Craig Ferguson.
Can't believe there is no late night show spot for him (maybe he doesn't want one). His way of doing the interviews were maybe the best in late night
He doesn't because of family, maybe later he will come back
This guy needs to be famous. Only one standup video of him? Sad!!
Love Ferguson!
Craig Ferguson is an AMAZING entertainer and comedian. Let's all hope that someone give's him A NEW SHOW!!!!! Master Entertainer! Let's make it happen!
Love this guy
"unless you get the Nexflix subscription, then you'll get an *extra* joke..."
Trolling so hard, I can't even
Love this man. And he is getting sexier the older he gets lol. Funny and handsome man.
I just a brought the special Netflix subscription for that extra joke and it was may I say exquisite 👌
Flashbacks of geoff from his show when he said "He's got a place down there and everything"
Dammit.. His accent for "owl, owl, a guy with a dog's head" is on point lmao 😂😂
Miss this guy
Old hunter voice sounds like Anthony Hopkins? Anyone? 🤣
Not even close
@@KizaWittaker I guess you haven't watched The Edge
Nah, I was thinking the hunter from Jumanji.
Fuck, i love Craig Ferguson; he's very good at his thing.
I miss him on late night, best night host since Johnny.
That first joke made me laugh so fucking hard. He ended the "joke" so abruptly that the punchline caught me completely off guard.
Uncle Albert told that joke on Only Fools and Horses back in the late 80's/early 90's . It's clearly been around the block a few times haha
He who dares, wins.
@@martin9010 Bonet de douche!
WOW! I did not think Craig could get any better looking. He looks ABSOLUTELY AMAZING with a beard. AMAZING, and I generals don't care for beards.
Can ONE of the networks offer this man a show??? PLEEEEEEASE??????
Man, I'm so happy that he's back.
Owl Owl Guy With a dog's head. 😂
Didn't know there were this many scientists Egyptians here today 😂😂
The best comic ever
Congrats on 2 mil
I miss his show so much
Thumbs up is at 2:30 you also thought back to: "chlamydia, your dad's here!"
Damn.... if I close my eyes.... Hiccup's buddy has a really bad potty mouth. 🤣
Baby this is what you came for 2:48
Thanks
Its funny how its the oldest joke in the world told by ancient egyptian, yet when craig tells the joke the hunter used a gun to kill the animals he hunted xD
That was the real joke for me, blasted in tears and laughter xd
if anyone are still on the fence on wether to watch his special or not: DO IT, its super funny and craig is in top form
I thought the oldest joke was the Sumerian joke, roughly: “Since the beginning of time, there was never a young wife who did not fart in her husband’s lap”
I searched for Craig's joke and also found that joke you wrote, but can't really get it.
You nailed it!
@@funkblack I think it might be a sex joke, given the use of ‘lap’. It’s basically saying every woman farts while either cuddling or having sex. Kind of like those jokes/stories today that talk about how comfortable spouses get with their bodily functions around each other.
"Only on Netflix", I beg to differ. A wise fly with a big chin and a quick internet search tell me otherwise. But don't tell anybody.
Yo pls pass link
@@ibitorucookey-gam7503 Search n watch at your own risk bro. I'm not liable.
@Ajmal Ali Yes I am thanks for noticing lol
I think he was the best late night host since Carson. And I watched Johnny Carson for 20 years.
before he went to america he was a stand up comedian called bing hitler
@ Good point. Rogan is weak as a standup. I even think Louis C. K. sucks.
I'd want to get into an argument with Craig that would lead to tickle fighting then end up kissing each other.
Only Fools and Horses, Uncle Albert tells it.
Shame you couldnt have a show like his nowadays :D damn this guy was such a flirt
Craig Ferguson needs to play Jerry Falwell Jr. in a movie. I would die 💀
1:18 You should come over some time, we can go swimming, throw beads.
Dude looks like he saw the end of the world and came back to tell everyone about it. Through comedy
no one howls at his jokes he just gets chuckles
Can't believe how much more sleep I've gotten since Craig left the Late, Late show.
I love that joke.....
Craig rules!!!
Uncle Albert told me this joke in Peckham.
How did he get younger since his talkshow days? It's like they dialed back his age ten years. Or exchanged it for girth. Either way, it works. Which being a comedian in this day and age is saying something.
Something tells me this guy would do a great job hosting a late night show.
He needs his own talk show again!!!!! Please!!!!!!
One episode of Only Fools and Horses from back in the day when Uncle Albert is saying one of his boring “during the war” stories then screams and says I wet myself. Rodney says don’t worry, war was a scary time or something to that effect. And Uncle Albert replies, no I mean just now when I screamed!
Maybe it was the edibles, but his stand up was hilarious. 😄
Craig is bloody funny
Why in the HELL would he tell the one he heard from Drew when we ALL want to hear the ancient Egyptian one?
it would be just the same, exept for the british hunting club and shooting guns parts
@@Viktor.Borisenko 😒
That's why this clip deserves a downvote ⬇️
Yeah, I wanted to hear the Ancient Egyptian one. DUMB.
Change "Guns" for "Spear" or Bow and arrow".
lol I remember that joke from Benny Hill. Good times :D
loool oh my God, I actually remember this joke. But the version I heard, it was a Knight telling the King a story about how he was hunting a Lion. The ending is the same: "The Lion was approaching and.. AAaahhhh!!... Apologies, your Majesty, but I just shat myself"
I’m pretty sure I was here to see this live!