Hey guys hope this was helpful! Leave me a comment with your thoughts? Be sure to check out my brand new masterclass on the 5 Proven Steps to Rebuilding Your Relationship/Marriage. (Warning: Spots are limited) 💪 Here is the link to the MASTERCLASS! -> relationshipsmastered.com/masterclass 🎁 Download the FREE GUIDE! -> relationshipsmastered.com/healing-partner-emotions 🗣 Join the FB Group! -> facebook.com/groups/1032426806961329/
Thank you. You are right about everything. Maybe it would be even more helpful for some to understand if you would give more practical examples how to do that. Thank you. Really nice effort and very useful. Keep going. P.s. Sorry for my English
this video literally saved my life. i have sunk into such a depression because of my girlfriend pulling away from me due to my general anxiety issues that i was borderline suicidal. but the more i desperately try to fix things, the more distant she becomes. the source of our problems was definitely my anxiety to begin with, so the fact i had to deal with MORE anxiety with her pulling away, made me feel like i was going insane. but i was making her the focus of my whole life, and i need to start focusing on myself, my mental health, and getting my life on solid ground before i worry about us as a couple.
It's been a week since I told her to message me if/when she is ready. Everything you said in this video is 100% accurate for me. I feel like the only way for my problems to be solved is if she comes back, but in reality, the only way for my problems to be solved is if I work on what caused her to leave in the first place. I don't know if she will come back, but I know what I need to do now to provide the environment necessary if she chooses to come back.
@@lucaswoods1155 nah bro worked on myself and found someone else. We remained friends though. I know how shitty it feels right now but this is the low point. Promise it gets better. Gl king
@@CaNtHoNY127 hey so in your situation did she not come back or did like she come back and you turned her down or viceversa or did you both agree to keep it strictly friends
I want to let everyone know here that I’ve had 2 back to back relationships in which space was necessary and both women came back on their own accord. It does work, count on other men dropping the ball in the dating world. Most men won’t be able to win over your woman if you left your mark on her. Stay strong fellas, the nights were long but independent confidence is rare
It’s going to be tough for sure . But picturing her getting smashed by someone else really does make it difficult to imagine me wanting her back after . Because she’s gonna do what she’s going to do especially with the novelty of NEW. Time will tell.
Top video. I go to therapy and do trauma healing courses but this angle was top notch. My anxiety was getting to me snd I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. I don’t feel desperate for my exe but my anxiety is still killing me. You pointing out that neediness to control outcomes was huge and helped me take a giant leap forward in my recovery. My gf left me for behaving as if I tske her for granted, in my heart I didn’t, but due to trauma and attachment issues I behaved as if I did.
Hi Bona, am happy this was insightful for you. Learning the processes to control your emotions during these moments is crucial! We can definitely help you through our Relationships Revival program. If you’d like to learn more about it, you can begin by joining our free masterclass here. relationshipsmastered.com/masterclass At the end of this masterclass, you will also get some information on how you can submit your application for the program. And in case you’re curious as to how life-changing this program is, or how it is MILES beyond what other programs can offer, check out the links below! Client Review Videos: ruclips.net/p/PLQ8tvyhQlPzsNm-vC_g_8SWGcJRngefgU
Watching these videos helps get through some of these days because wow my head has been spinning for 3 weeks now. I just realize all my toxicity and am aggressively working towards fixing them. But I just don’t want the next girl to get the best of me I want the love of my life of 8 years to get the best of me.
I'm having this anxiety right now. It just scares me to think that everyday that i don't do anything, she's probably feeling better of the situation and reasuring the break up. I know there's nothing i can do, and i probably done what i can at the moment. But i'm scared that she won't come to me at all so i can show the changes with the frameworks and the emotional safety control. It just sucks so much, right now i don't want to lose her in my life. God knows how much i want as to age together and be happy. What i'm doing now is changing my behaviors and bad habits so if she comes back, i'm better. I'm just really scared that she might never come back. Feeling really hopeless at the moment.
I sent her some audios saying that i understand her choice and support her, cause i know how shitty was the things i've done. But that i'm changing at this exact moment and how much i want some things with her. And i told her how she can come to me whenever she feels into or if she's curious somehow to see if i'm really changing. That whenever she's ready, we'll go to a nice place to talk and see each other. It has been 3 days since i sent her that. She visualized, but didn't respond at all. Don't know if she even heared them. Everytime i go to her twitter to see if she's doing something and to Instagram to see if she might be online to hear my voice messages. I'm blocked in whatsapp and some other stuff. Your videos is being really helpful. I dont know if things will get better for us, it scares me to death. But when i see your videos i can at least feel better and feel that i'm doing what i can.
I know you talk to hundreds of men like my self but thank you I am loosing my self but I am reforging my self to evolve a love a new me thanks Geoffrey and watching these videos gives me comfort and strengthens my resolve
I really enjoyed the way you explain things I’m 45 years old going through my 3rd divorce and I never knew I tethered myself to my wife’s. Very enlightening!
This completely describes my situation. My girlfriend of three years broke up with me a week ago due to my toxic actions. Dealing with separation anxiety and struggling with no contact. Taking it one day at a time. Started counseling and stopped drinking two weeks ago. Had a great conversation last Saturday and then she went cold again. Thanks for your videos and content @geoffreysetiawan
Im in a constant situation right now but my used-to-be significant other is willing to communicate, however were taking a break for now. I just hope things will be okay, and im working on myself. Sooner, i want to work on reconcile and emotional values.
Such a great lesson around anxiety and the reasons we experience it. I feel like you weave things together I've already learned, but just in a way that makes it so clear. Anxiety comes from focusing on that which we cannot control, where we are seeking approval and where we're seeking certainty. When we tether our need for certainty, control and approval to ourselves we will find peace and freedom from anxiety.. So good.
Another great video! Really appreciated this... still working on mastering the frameworks and no longer expecting certain outcomes. Way less anxious these days still going to continue growing and following the concept of open house( open the door) you speak of and go from there. Thanks!
Wow, this was the most enlightening video I have come across. I've been working with a therapist since my separation, and she's always asking me about why I have the anxiety. And yet you just explained it.
This is exactly what I'm going through right now. I feel as if my heart is going to jump out my shirt and I cry as well when she leave or I think of my kids.
Man, 16 years of marriage My wife is seeing other people and I’m having the hardest time of my life right now… Moved to another state no job still… But feeling so hopeless and lost. These videos are so helpful!! I wish I had the funds to take your masterclass right now. Your YT videos have been helping so much can’t even imagine how inspiring and insightful everything has been!!! I know safety, and trust are thee most important. But this video really showed me other things I need to work on!!!! Lottery please! I need help 😭😭😭😭
My favorite video yet! My anxiety towards the situation with my wife dug me a deeper hole that I had ever been in with her. But I’m slowly climbing out now due to learning the right way to approach hard situations. Hoping to get in your masterclass next week and I can’t wait man. I appreciate you putting these videos on here. It has really been life changing for me.
You sounded like a prophet to my current situation right now. You're spot on about this anxiety issue. It's really making me feel like I am crazy at times. How do I relax or pretend all is well when my wife says she doesn't have hope?
Let me say this. I've never commented on ANY RUclips video. But Geoffrey. Lol. I can't thank you enough for showing me this. I didn't realize that this is why I was feeling this way. And you made it really clear for me. Great stuff bro. Keep up the good work.
It's been 2 weeks ever since my girl broke up with me. I feel much better now thanks to you and your videos. But this one in particumade me change completely. I realize now that I don't want my ex. Back because of my anxiety attachments. I realize now that my problem is from within. Even if she were to come back to me, she would still be in a very sad and uncomfortable situation because of who I've become. Thank you so much for making me realize this. I now have the guts to go up to my ex and finally tell her. Want to stop bothering her. Because I now realize that I have so much work to do on myself., thank you.
Hi Geoffrey, this video was another one of those ah ha moments. I had listened to it before but something just clicked. The paradox of anxiety stemming from lack of control and thinking back about moments in my life, and I have always had anxiety. I thought of the moments that I behaved badly either because I felt anxious that my wife would be attracted to others ( jealous) or whenever she would tell me the things I was doing wrong would cause anxiety in me and I would then get angry and lash out to protect myself. Amazing topic, thank you so much for the video.
Im 42 years old (with 11 year old) and my wife decided to separate (left me with my son got her own apt) after being together for 20 years… I’m on day 31 and after watching this video 20x I finally had my mind clear enough to 💯 agree (probably saved my sanity) to fully understand the root of my horrible anxiety attacks.. every other day and I would write them down and my counselor gave me tips on breathing, mediation but never making me realize the WHY?? Awesome video Geoffrey.. I really need to focus 🧘 on what I can control and let go of what I can not control… Need more videos on dealing with this with kids.. thx 🙏
This one cracked me up. 😂 honestly my anxiety has died down a lot but only after working on a lot of your content. I have mended relationships with friends, created new healthy ones, started chatting with my partner again…yet it feels like my own betterment is taking priority over getting back the marriage. This will take months.
I posted here with a lot of anxiety and now 2 weeks later I don’t think I have the same anxiety as before but the thought of losing someone from your life that you have loved and been with for so long it is like someone is dying. So the feeling of missing them I think is a bit different from needing them to progress and improve.
I know what you mean, man. It is like someone dying. I've said to myself this is like my wife telling me she's dead now 😭. Don't forget to grieve properly. I haven't felt like this since I lost my 31yr old brother to a heart attack 15 fucking years ago. Go through the grieving process accept the loss through time. Everything will be better in the end 🤗
I tend to work on myself and give her a long wall of text on why I love her and she should come back. It results in her not knowing what to say. I then tend to her depressed.
Thank you for your words, I feel like you have a very good grasp on all of the issues that unfold in the most common relationships and that’s a reason I will be attending your master class tomorrow. Thank you
Great video Jeffrey it really opened my eyes to anxiety which I had trouble understanding... as this type of anxiety is not your textbook stuff it's more like a fear of losing rather than a fear of approaching people or going out.. I'm working on myself now with no contact and I think it'll go great 👍 I'll let you know cheers from New Zealand...
The thing is long term lasting relationships do have a level of certainty , approval , acceptance . And actually you can have self happiness and than the inconsistent , poor behavior of another can unsettle the whole relationship . To say you are forever bound naaa if the person you are with seeks instability , you can and will walk away , because its them not you who needs to change and you will if you do the work recover happiness . Some people just wreck your peace .
Excellent vid thanks! I find many similarities between your methods and yoga, especially when it comes to self improvement. Have you done a vid about how to calm down an emotional wife? I could sure use some advice on that :)
another great video! being in sales, i have to control my emotions and anxiety 60 hours a week. I have always looked at it as, when i get done working i dont want to have to control, process, and evaluate my emotions and body language with my spouse.i always thought it should come naturally. my spouse works in the restaurant industry and she has to do the same thing on a daily basis. i have always looked at it as, the time i have with my spouse is my time to be myself rather than still keep in mind others emotions. i have felt for years that when im done doing sales, i dont want to have to control my emotions or anxiety anymore, because that is my full time job. i know i have the skill set to do so, i just need to find the drive and the why, and apply it to my relationship.
@Phillip, thank you brother! Controlling your emotions is crucial during every interaction... There are process to follow that can help. If you’d like to learn more about it, you can begin by joining our free masterclass here. relationshipsmastered.com/masterclass At the end of this masterclass, you will also get some information on how you can submit your application for the program. And in case you’re curious as to how life-changing this program is, or how it is MILES beyond what other programs can offer, check out the links below! Client Review Videos: ruclips.net/p/PLQ8tvyhQlPzsNm-vC_g_8SWGcJRngefgU
This is my conundrum…if the reason for the breakup with me was “lack of effort”, how do I end up showing effort while I’m giving her space? OR is the fact that I’m giving her space a reflection of me showing effort? It’s confusing.
I love what you said, couch. But what if your partner is more toxic than you? That means no matter how good you have become. She can still walk away anytime she wants and leave you like you don't meant anything to her.
I'm divorced from my husband 6 yrs ago. He really does not understand I have moved on and only wish him all the best in future. He thinks there is a chance for him to come back .
Hi Jack, I'm sorry that you are going through a divorce. I trust God will bring us back together if God see a purpose for us to be joined together again. Would you like me to pray for you and your wife?
Anxiety can also be from being with the wrong partner/ woman. Inside your feeling that shes not sincere..not 100% with you..her behaviour is off..its an inate feeling She shows low value for you..easy to ignore your texts or calls..this isnt anxiety that someone should re work
The way you describe the guys that’s going through this really makes me feel a certain type of way. Relief in a way because it makes sense, but also disgust because I feel ridiculous now. I didn’t choose to be this way. It just happened. Would you consider the men that your describing in this video to be a “sad case”. I hate to ask this but genuinely I feel disgusted at myself. Am I supposed to? Is it cause I haven’t seen anyone else go through this? Is this what she sees? I just don’t know how to feel after reflecting on everything you said.
I really like a lot of the things that you say.. But some don't seem to do good.. For example telling her that you're leaving the door open for her to open up whenever she feels like she can is not a good idea when she's asking for space... You just come off too strong when you do that and you're saying to her that you're there whenever she wants which means that she didn't have to fear losing you.. It worked bad for me when I tried it.
Talos23 - How come its been working for all of my 190 students who enrolled in the program this year? Remember what I said in many of my videos and masterclass, don't use any of the examples I say as scripts. Every situation is different. Understand the principles behind them so you can improvise your approach.
@@GeoffreySetiawan Maybe I applied it in the wrong time... But she told me that I was controlling and I asked her to clarify and she didn't want to do I told her that I want to listen and understand and she can open up to me about it when she feels ready.. But she seemed to pull back a bit further after that talk.
Love your videos dude. I have relationship ocd id love to see a vid of your opinion on it. Its holding me back heavy but since i found you i started fighting it but im still a mess constantly interrogating and accusing. My gf is in a theater program and i asked her if what if shes in a play she has to kiss someone and cheat? She responded with yea and it broke me but she says thats not cheating. I have never seen her talk to any guys for a year now while we been dating but i have terrible trust issues. Would you say thats cheating if its a play? She swears she would never cheat but in my head that is cheating but she says its not. She also has pulled away so hard and constantly demands me to leave her alone no matter what. And says the relationship is going nowhere yet she says theres a reason she wont leave but doesnt know what it is. Any insight? Sorry for so much questions
Hi Veil, It seems like the two of you can not talk about and work through these difficult conversation and thus causing your partner to not feel it anymore. Have you joined my free 90 min class where I give you more detail on this topic. relationshipsmastered.com/masterclass
We broke up two weeks ago after 8 years. There's been no contact for 2 weeks. It's her birthday tomorrow. Should I make contact to wish her well on her special day. Should I send her the gift I had in mind? (Which I know she would absolutely love). Or do nothing and create more of a vacuum for her maybe to move into eventually?
Hi Melisa Smith, Thank you for your comment. But you tell me, who do you think the message that I teach applies to? How can what I teach be applied to Women, Men, different nationalities, ages, preferences, etc?
@@GeoffreySetiawan Hi Geoffrey, I would yes it applies to couples in general, all ages and nationalities. Its only because you say trying to win the woman back. I just wanted your thoughts on if this could be applied to men also? However, women and men do think completely differently in relationships.
@@melisasmith9485 I'll just leave you with some resources below to allow you to question your assumptions there on your own. We actually work with women too, and the principles that we teach applies the same. Here are some examples of our most recent ones below: Our most recent interview with Eve (Not yet published): www.loom.com/share/06e991c3faab431eaef56c410cf8304b Maryam: ruclips.net/video/Um0YWKvZJ2Y/видео.html Ashley (Ashley joined the program first): ruclips.net/video/INCIpsuK7uI/видео.html And if you would like to see a walkthrough of the program, click here: ruclips.net/video/LC4LSAEVNWo/видео.html
Please help me sir.. me and my partner always play games together. I play to enjoy time with her while she always want to win the game. And every time we lost an online game, she will blame me and situation get really tense. Plus, since I thought that is not a serious issue, I tend to get her back in the mood but always end she getting more upset. Note that she is a HSP.. I really need help. Please do video more about HSP partner.
Hey guys hope this was helpful! Leave me a comment with your thoughts?
Be sure to check out my brand new masterclass on the 5 Proven Steps to Rebuilding Your Relationship/Marriage. (Warning: Spots are limited)
💪 Here is the link to the MASTERCLASS! -> relationshipsmastered.com/masterclass
🎁 Download the FREE GUIDE! -> relationshipsmastered.com/healing-partner-emotions
🗣 Join the FB Group! -> facebook.com/groups/1032426806961329/
Thank you. You are right about everything. Maybe it would be even more helpful for some to understand if you would give more practical examples how to do that. Thank you. Really nice effort and very useful. Keep going.
P.s. Sorry for my English
this video literally saved my life. i have sunk into such a depression because of my girlfriend pulling away from me due to my general anxiety issues that i was borderline suicidal. but the more i desperately try to fix things, the more distant she becomes.
the source of our problems was definitely my anxiety to begin with, so the fact i had to deal with MORE anxiety with her pulling away, made me feel like i was going insane. but i was making her the focus of my whole life, and i need to start focusing on myself, my mental health, and getting my life on solid ground before i worry about us as a couple.
Nice my man
she come back?
I'm in this! How you getting on??? Any advice? I feel sick everyday
The only certainty I have right now is that she says she is certain she wants to leave.
Feel sick in my stomach..
Any update? Did you get yourself sorted and reconcile?
It's been a week since I told her to message me if/when she is ready. Everything you said in this video is 100% accurate for me. I feel like the only way for my problems to be solved is if she comes back, but in reality, the only way for my problems to be solved is if I work on what caused her to leave in the first place. I don't know if she will come back, but I know what I need to do now to provide the environment necessary if she chooses to come back.
Did she come back?
Did she come back genuinely curious to hear how it went
@@lucaswoods1155 nah bro worked on myself and found someone else. We remained friends though. I know how shitty it feels right now but this is the low point. Promise it gets better. Gl king
@@CaNtHoNY127 hey so in your situation did she not come back or did like she come back and you turned her down or viceversa or did you both agree to keep it strictly friends
@MALI - FITNESS no we just both realized it didn’t make sense and are great friends to this day!
I want to let everyone know here that I’ve had 2 back to back relationships in which space was necessary and both women came back on their own accord. It does work, count on other men dropping the ball in the dating world. Most men won’t be able to win over your woman if you left your mark on her. Stay strong fellas, the nights were long but independent confidence is rare
It’s going to be tough for sure . But picturing her getting smashed by someone else really does make it difficult to imagine me wanting her back after . Because she’s gonna do what she’s going to do especially with the novelty of NEW. Time will tell.
Well said my friend 👍🏾💯
@@imagegotbeats ty brother, one literally just came back last night
" You are losing yourself right now"
This is the key sentence I picked up
Thanks again
Huge thanks for this upload! Anxiety is terrible but we can crush it!
Crush em!
Top video. I go to therapy and do trauma healing courses but this angle was top notch. My anxiety was getting to me snd I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. I don’t feel desperate for my exe but my anxiety is still killing me. You pointing out that neediness to control outcomes was huge and helped me take a giant leap forward in my recovery. My gf left me for behaving as if I tske her for granted, in my heart I didn’t, but due to trauma and attachment issues I behaved as if I did.
Hi Bona, am happy this was insightful for you. Learning the processes to control your emotions during these moments is crucial!
We can definitely help you through our Relationships Revival program. If you’d like to learn more about it, you can begin by joining our free masterclass here.
relationshipsmastered.com/masterclass
At the end of this masterclass, you will also get some information on how you can submit your application for the program.
And in case you’re curious as to how life-changing this program is, or how it is MILES beyond what other programs can offer, check out the links below!
Client Review Videos:
ruclips.net/p/PLQ8tvyhQlPzsNm-vC_g_8SWGcJRngefgU
Watching these videos helps get through some of these days because wow my head has been spinning for 3 weeks now. I just realize all my toxicity and am aggressively working towards fixing them. But I just don’t want the next girl to get the best of me I want the love of my life of 8 years to get the best of me.
Likewise bro, how's it going?
Update?
I'm having this anxiety right now. It just scares me to think that everyday that i don't do anything, she's probably feeling better of the situation and reasuring the break up. I know there's nothing i can do, and i probably done what i can at the moment. But i'm scared that she won't come to me at all so i can show the changes with the frameworks and the emotional safety control.
It just sucks so much, right now i don't want to lose her in my life. God knows how much i want as to age together and be happy. What i'm doing now is changing my behaviors and bad habits so if she comes back, i'm better. I'm just really scared that she might never come back. Feeling really hopeless at the moment.
I sent her some audios saying that i understand her choice and support her, cause i know how shitty was the things i've done. But that i'm changing at this exact moment and how much i want some things with her. And i told her how she can come to me whenever she feels into or if she's curious somehow to see if i'm really changing. That whenever she's ready, we'll go to a nice place to talk and see each other.
It has been 3 days since i sent her that. She visualized, but didn't respond at all. Don't know if she even heared them. Everytime i go to her twitter to see if she's doing something and to Instagram to see if she might be online to hear my voice messages. I'm blocked in whatsapp and some other stuff.
Your videos is being really helpful. I dont know if things will get better for us, it scares me to death. But when i see your videos i can at least feel better and feel that i'm doing what i can.
I know you talk to hundreds of men like my self but thank you I am loosing my self but I am reforging my self to evolve a love a new me thanks Geoffrey and watching these videos gives me comfort and strengthens my resolve
I really enjoyed the way you explain things I’m 45 years old going through my 3rd divorce and I never knew I tethered myself to my wife’s. Very enlightening!
Glad it resonates with you!
This completely describes my situation. My girlfriend of three years broke up with me a week ago due to my toxic actions. Dealing with separation anxiety and struggling with no contact. Taking it one day at a time. Started counseling and stopped drinking two weeks ago. Had a great conversation last Saturday and then she went cold again. Thanks for your videos and content @geoffreysetiawan
Happy to help. Her emotions will change constantly, thats completely normal.
Im in a constant situation right now but my used-to-be significant other is willing to communicate, however were taking a break for now. I just hope things will be okay, and im working on myself. Sooner, i want to work on reconcile and emotional values.
Such a great lesson around anxiety and the reasons we experience it. I feel like you weave things together I've already learned, but just in a way that makes it so clear.
Anxiety comes from focusing on that which we cannot control, where we are seeking approval and where we're seeking certainty. When we tether our need for certainty, control and approval to ourselves we will find peace and freedom from anxiety.. So good.
Thank you I feel us men.. Get sad and we over think what they are doing and who with more than women
Another great video! Really appreciated this... still working on mastering the frameworks and no longer expecting certain outcomes. Way less anxious these days still going to continue growing and following the concept of open house( open the door) you speak of and go from there. Thanks!
Wow, this was the most enlightening video I have come across. I've been working with a therapist since my separation, and she's always asking me about why I have the anxiety. And yet you just explained it.
Wow, I was just thinking about this topic with a deployment coming up. Definitely giving this a watch later.
This is exactly what I'm going through right now. I feel as if my heart is going to jump out my shirt and I cry as well when she leave or I think of my kids.
Man, 16 years of marriage My wife is seeing other people and I’m having the hardest time of my life right now… Moved to another state no job still… But feeling so hopeless and lost. These videos are so helpful!! I wish I had the funds to take your masterclass right now. Your YT videos have been helping so much can’t even imagine how inspiring and insightful everything has been!!! I know safety, and trust are thee most important. But this video really showed me other things I need to work on!!!! Lottery please! I need help 😭😭😭😭
100% accurate. Great insight.
Love it!
My favorite video yet! My anxiety towards the situation with my wife dug me a deeper hole that I had ever been in with her. But I’m slowly climbing out now due to learning the right way to approach hard situations. Hoping to get in your masterclass next week and I can’t wait man. I appreciate you putting these videos on here. It has really been life changing for me.
You sounded like a prophet to my current situation right now. You're spot on about this anxiety issue. It's really making me feel like I am crazy at times. How do I relax or pretend all is well when my wife says she doesn't have hope?
Same for me, but how do you lose the anxiety unless you get to the point that you don't care if she comes back.
Let me say this. I've never commented on ANY RUclips video. But Geoffrey. Lol. I can't thank you enough for showing me this. I didn't realize that this is why I was feeling this way. And you made it really clear for me. Great stuff bro. Keep up the good work.
Wow RW, I know the feeling. before I started my RUclips channel I didn't comment either. Thank you for your support and comment.
It's been 2 weeks ever since my girl broke up with me. I feel much better now thanks to you and your videos. But this one in particumade me change completely. I realize now that I don't want my ex. Back because of my anxiety attachments. I realize now that my problem is from within.
Even if she were to come back to me, she would still be in a very sad and uncomfortable situation because of who I've become. Thank you so much for making me realize this. I now have the guts to go up to my ex and finally tell her. Want to stop bothering her. Because I now realize that I have so much work to do on myself., thank you.
Hi Geoffrey, this video was another one of those ah ha moments. I had listened to it before but something just clicked. The paradox of anxiety stemming from lack of control and thinking back about moments in my life, and I have always had anxiety. I thought of the moments that I behaved badly either because I felt anxious that my wife would be attracted to others ( jealous) or whenever she would tell me the things I was doing wrong would cause anxiety in me and I would then get angry and lash out to protect myself. Amazing topic, thank you so much for the video.
You got it!!
Can you think of even more times and situations you can see this playing out?
Im 42 years old (with 11 year old) and my wife decided to separate (left me with my son got her own apt) after being together for 20 years… I’m on day 31 and after watching this video 20x I finally had my mind clear enough to 💯 agree (probably saved my sanity) to fully understand the root of my horrible anxiety attacks.. every other day and I would write them down and my counselor gave me tips on breathing, mediation but never making me realize the WHY?? Awesome video Geoffrey.. I really need to focus 🧘 on what I can control and let go of what I can not control… Need more videos on dealing with this with kids.. thx 🙏
I'm 4 months in. 😔 39 yrs old. 2 young sons. 20 years together, 9 years married
Help!
This one cracked me up. 😂 honestly my anxiety has died down a lot but only after working on a lot of your content. I have mended relationships with friends, created new healthy ones, started chatting with my partner again…yet it feels like my own betterment is taking priority over getting back the marriage. This will take months.
Sir I'm very thankful I found your channel. It really helps me improve myself. Thankyou sir!
Awesome Brian! Let's go!
I love your videos< going through a separation at this time and your videos have really opened my eyes.. Thank you for your positive advice..
Hi Brain, am happy that this and other videos have been helpful... What was the most insight part/main takeaway for you?
Dammit man why you making so much sense right now
I posted here with a lot of anxiety and now 2 weeks later I don’t think I have the same anxiety as before but the thought of losing someone from your life that you have loved and been with for so long it is like someone is dying. So the feeling of missing them I think is a bit different from needing them to progress and improve.
I know what you mean, man. It is like someone dying. I've said to myself this is like my wife telling me she's dead now 😭. Don't forget to grieve properly. I haven't felt like this since I lost my 31yr old brother to a heart attack 15 fucking years ago. Go through the grieving process accept the loss through time. Everything will be better in the end 🤗
I tend to work on myself and give her a long wall of text on why I love her and she should come back. It results in her not knowing what to say. I then tend to her depressed.
Man you explain so much exactly and in detail
What a great coach
Learnt many things from you
Thank you❤
Thank you for your words, I feel like you have a very good grasp on all of the issues that unfold in the most common relationships and that’s a reason I will be attending your master class tomorrow. Thank you
Hey Bender, You are welcome!... Thank you! Will see you at the masterclass...
Everything this man says is facts.
Man this is so real.
Thank you I'm going through it but I always start with a positive attitude I'm trying to take it day by day
Excellent video! This channel is a goldmine of helpful and insightful info. Thanks for doing what you do brother
Great video Jeffrey
it really opened my eyes to anxiety which I had trouble understanding... as this type of anxiety is not your textbook stuff it's more like a fear of losing rather than a fear of approaching people or going out..
I'm working on myself now with no contact and I think it'll go great 👍
I'll let you know
cheers from New Zealand...
How is it going
The thing is long term lasting relationships do have a level of certainty , approval , acceptance . And actually you can have self happiness and than the inconsistent , poor behavior of another can unsettle the whole relationship . To say you are forever bound naaa if the person you are with seeks instability , you can and will walk away , because its them not you who needs to change and you will if you do the work recover happiness . Some people just wreck your peace .
Excellent vid thanks! I find many similarities between your methods and yoga, especially when it comes to self improvement. Have you done a vid about how to calm down an emotional wife? I could sure use some advice on that :)
another great video! being in sales, i have to control my emotions and anxiety 60 hours a week. I have always looked at it as, when i get done working i dont want to have to control, process, and evaluate my emotions and body language with my spouse.i always thought it should come naturally. my spouse works in the restaurant industry and she has to do the same thing on a daily basis. i have always looked at it as, the time i have with my spouse is my time to be myself rather than still keep in mind others emotions. i have felt for years that when im done doing sales, i dont want to have to control my emotions or anxiety anymore, because that is my full time job. i know i have the skill set to do so, i just need to find the drive and the why, and apply it to my relationship.
@Phillip, thank you brother! Controlling your emotions is crucial during every interaction... There are process to follow that can help.
If you’d like to learn more about it, you can begin by joining our free masterclass here.
relationshipsmastered.com/masterclass
At the end of this masterclass, you will also get some information on how you can submit your application for the program.
And in case you’re curious as to how life-changing this program is, or how it is MILES beyond what other programs can offer, check out the links below!
Client Review Videos:
ruclips.net/p/PLQ8tvyhQlPzsNm-vC_g_8SWGcJRngefgU
Absolutely resonates with me.
Excellent content as usual!!
Thank you brother!
This is my conundrum…if the reason for the breakup with me was “lack of effort”, how do I end up showing effort while I’m giving her space? OR is the fact that I’m giving her space a reflection of me showing effort? It’s confusing.
Every fucking video, so powerful. Really working to truly untether, thank you for this.
I love what you said, couch. But what if your partner is more toxic than you? That means no matter how good you have become. She can still walk away anytime she wants and leave you like you don't meant anything to her.
I found this video late and I did exactly these toxic things. My wife jus signed the final divorce papers last week.
I'm divorced from my husband 6 yrs ago. He really does not understand I have moved on and only wish him all the best in future. He thinks there is a chance for him to come back .
This is for men
I'm curious why he has no chance? Also, why did you divorce? Sorry, I'm going through it right now and I just want to be back with my wife
Hi Jack, I'm sorry that you are going through a divorce. I trust God will bring us back together if God see a purpose for us to be joined together again. Would you like me to pray for you and your wife?
This is good video helps a lot
Anxiety can also be from being with the wrong partner/ woman.
Inside your feeling that shes not sincere..not 100% with you..her behaviour is off..its an inate feeling
She shows low value for you..easy to ignore your texts or calls..this isnt anxiety that someone should re work
Great video
Glad you enjoyed it
Fantastic Video.
Thanks
Hi Adrain, You are welcome brother! 🙂
The way you describe the guys that’s going through this really makes me feel a certain type of way. Relief in a way because it makes sense, but also disgust because I feel ridiculous now. I didn’t choose to be this way. It just happened. Would you consider the men that your describing in this video to be a “sad case”. I hate to ask this but genuinely I feel disgusted at myself. Am I supposed to? Is it cause I haven’t seen anyone else go through this? Is this what she sees? I just don’t know how to feel after reflecting on everything you said.
Whatdo I do when we break up and she start looking for others
I really like a lot of the things that you say..
But some don't seem to do good..
For example telling her that you're leaving the door open for her to open up whenever she feels like she can is not a good idea when she's asking for space...
You just come off too strong when you do that and you're saying to her that you're there whenever she wants which means that she didn't have to fear losing you..
It worked bad for me when I tried it.
Talos23 - How come its been working for all of my 190 students who enrolled in the program this year? Remember what I said in many of my videos and masterclass, don't use any of the examples I say as scripts. Every situation is different. Understand the principles behind them so you can improvise your approach.
@@GeoffreySetiawan
Maybe I applied it in the wrong time...
But she told me that I was controlling and I asked her to clarify and she didn't want to do I told her that I want to listen and understand and she can open up to me about it when she feels ready..
But she seemed to pull back a bit further after that talk.
Ffff... Relationships are so complicated
Amazing video but my question is what is she started dating and this is happening? Too which is adding more uncertainties?
She started before leaving bro
Geoffrey, do you just have to work on yourself and be patient and keep minimum contact? I'm so so so so in love with my wife
Amazing video man. Are you Indonesian?
Love your videos dude. I have relationship ocd id love to see a vid of your opinion on it. Its holding me back heavy but since i found you i started fighting it but im still a mess constantly interrogating and accusing.
My gf is in a theater program and i asked her if what if shes in a play she has to kiss someone and cheat? She responded with yea and it broke me but she says thats not cheating. I have never seen her talk to any guys for a year now while we been dating but i have terrible trust issues. Would you say thats cheating if its a play? She swears she would never cheat but in my head that is cheating but she says its not.
She also has pulled away so hard and constantly demands me to leave her alone no matter what. And says the relationship is going nowhere yet she says theres a reason she wont leave but doesnt know what it is. Any insight? Sorry for so much questions
Hi Veil,
It seems like the two of you can not talk about and work through these difficult conversation and thus causing your partner to not feel it anymore. Have you joined my free 90 min class where I give you more detail on this topic.
relationshipsmastered.com/masterclass
We broke up two weeks ago after 8 years. There's been no contact for 2 weeks. It's her birthday tomorrow. Should I make contact to wish her well on her special day. Should I send her the gift I had in mind? (Which I know she would absolutely love).
Or do nothing and create more of a vacuum for her maybe to move into eventually?
Hey Grant Lloyd,
In this video I talk about the very questions. Please watch and let me know what you think.
ruclips.net/video/327qBP3Myb4/видео.html
Hi, do your videos also work towards men?
Hi Melisa Smith,
Thank you for your comment. But you tell me, who do you think the message that I teach applies to?
How can what I teach be applied to Women, Men, different nationalities, ages, preferences, etc?
@@GeoffreySetiawan Hi Geoffrey, I would yes it applies to couples in general, all ages and nationalities. Its only because you say trying to win the woman back. I just wanted your thoughts on if this could be applied to men also? However, women and men do think completely differently in relationships.
@@melisasmith9485 I'll just leave you with some resources below to allow you to question your assumptions there on your own.
We actually work with women too, and the principles that we teach applies the same.
Here are some examples of our most recent ones below:
Our most recent interview with Eve (Not yet published): www.loom.com/share/06e991c3faab431eaef56c410cf8304b
Maryam:
ruclips.net/video/Um0YWKvZJ2Y/видео.html
Ashley (Ashley joined the program first):
ruclips.net/video/INCIpsuK7uI/видео.html
And if you would like to see a walkthrough of the program, click here:
ruclips.net/video/LC4LSAEVNWo/видео.html
Please help me sir.. me and my partner always play games together. I play to enjoy time with her while she always want to win the game. And every time we lost an online game, she will blame me and situation get really tense. Plus, since I thought that is not a serious issue, I tend to get her back in the mood but always end she getting more upset. Note that she is a HSP.. I really need help. Please do video more about HSP partner.
What's an HSP?
@@GeoffreySetiawan hyper sensitive person
There are literally billions of men & women