Esther Perel on The Other AI: Artificial Intimacy | SXSW 2023

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  • Опубликовано: 30 мар 2023
  • These last few years have been characterized by prolonged uncertainty when it comes to our health, politics, economy, and beyond. Can you blame us for falling deeper into the siren song of our increasingly predictive technologies? Endless suggestions of what to buy, who to date, what to write, where to turn, and what to listen to next flow right into our palms-fooling us into thinking we have control over this unknowable, messy world. The deluge of perfectly curated feeds doesn't help. Renowned psychotherapist, podcast host, and author Esther Perel wants to know: what is this doing to our relationships? How are our expectations of one another changing? It is possible that “knowing” everything is making us less prepared for the uncertainties and imperfections intrinsic to life and love. Chasing certainty has left us inflexible and socially atrophied. How is this impacting our partnerships, friendships, and communities? Much as we try, we can’t optimize intimacy-or can we?
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Комментарии • 159

  • @fvieirad
    @fvieirad Год назад +43

    40:22 'every choice carries grief for the option that we didn't choose' 👏👏👏👏

  • @tomdebevoise
    @tomdebevoise Год назад +321

    "Much of life's challenges are not problems that we solve, they are paradoxes that we manage." A brilliant quote from Ester.

  • @leahkmarshall
    @leahkmarshall Год назад +164

    Esther is sublime! At 32:00: "A unique part of intimacy is that when we allow ourselves to truly meet another, we also meet new parts of ourself."

    • @phoenixrisin2269
      @phoenixrisin2269 8 месяцев назад

      Can’t do that with modern XXs. It’s emotional self deletion.

  • @susanneosborne7861
    @susanneosborne7861 Год назад +136

    I cried through most of this because when you feel like no one else "gets you" (and humanity), Esther does. She is pure gold.

  • @corinaspfx
    @corinaspfx Год назад +334

    there should be statues of this woman in every major city

    • @Alexandra-uk4vr
      @Alexandra-uk4vr Год назад +13

      As well as her teachings in educational institutions.
      How much sooner we would learn to process our emotions and how better our relationahips would be if that were the case.

    • @RajatKumar-cm3ci
      @RajatKumar-cm3ci Год назад

      Just like Jesus

    • @dime7612
      @dime7612 Год назад +2

      Esther is good, but she misses the whole point that many relationships are not compatible to begin with, hence, narcissists and codependent relationships. She is sort of perpetuating the question how to have a good relationship, but the first thing that needs to happen is see if you are dealing with personality disorders.
      I just want to help myself and others. It was nice what you said, but I think she isn’t the bottom line. She is good at having interesting talks, but if you really want a good relationship, personality disorders need to be pointed out first before you spend time trying to fix something that can’t be fixed or statues are placed everywhere of a woman that doesn’t really help you. she is very much like a dating app. She is fast and appealing, but when you dig deeper, something is missing or completely off.
      Anyways. Esther is good at playing at the heart strings and humor, but she isn’t pointing out the first line of defense which is understanding personality disorders.

    • @mhuntprofessional
      @mhuntprofessional 10 месяцев назад

      Probably best there aren't.
      Smart, well-spoken, erotically intelligent, and very sexy...
      I can't afford to be turned on all the time.
      I need to be able to get things done 😂

    • @MrMadalien
      @MrMadalien 9 месяцев назад

      @@dime7612 99% of the western population has a personality disorder. Good luck avoiding them.

  • @DarioVillirilli
    @DarioVillirilli Год назад +134

    Human Esther is an absolute GODSEND. Grateful for her work, in love with her personality.

  • @Stinedarby
    @Stinedarby Год назад +37

    How clearly and beautifully put. I love this quote: Our ability to act freely upon the uncertainty and then see the ripples of our own actions lets us know we are alive. 👏

  • @lauraponce4633
    @lauraponce4633 Год назад +55

    This is a master class in paradoxes and living through very complex times. Thank you allways ❤

  • @videau234
    @videau234 Год назад +51

    When a seminar of 59.52 minutes feels like a 30 min talk, then you know the richness of the conversation has been huge, she (and the audience) are awesome! It is such a pleasure listen to her, I would not change it for an AI ;)

  • @yootoob1001001
    @yootoob1001001 Год назад +38

    The segment on Esther's answer about the polarization issue in conversations was worth the entire watch. Thank you.

  • @CarolEderGuitarist
    @CarolEderGuitarist Год назад +41

    The video demonstrating different responses from the child, when mom either engaged or disengaged, brought tears to my eyes.
    It touched a part of me that I haven’t been listening to for many years. Thank you for your great work, Esther Perel!

  • @anavigil7603
    @anavigil7603 Год назад +42

    58:35 "I sound super confident, but I am sure of nothing" leads me to respect her even more. She is a wonderful teacher and helper to me through her talks and books. Thank you, Esther and audience.

    • @tomdebevoise
      @tomdebevoise Год назад +1

      Reminds me of the story of the zen master who ended his teaching by saying I really don't know much about anything...

  • @user-jn7mz2iw5i
    @user-jn7mz2iw5i Год назад +11

    Esther is absolutely phenomenal. The arch of her speech, the playfulness, the depth and richness - one of a kind. Loved every minute of this, thank YOU!!!!!

  • @Ezel17
    @Ezel17 Год назад +32

    I always find a huge value in listening to Esther's ideas. Her work is very inspiring and has become a beacon of light in my life. Thank you for sharing this, SXSW-san.

  • @theresas.3808
    @theresas.3808 Год назад +23

    She is brilliant! She brings clarity and understanding to relationship dynamics.

  • @renatasuerth
    @renatasuerth 9 месяцев назад +3

    Esther just gets what it means to be a human being.
    Even though she jokes at the end and says, “I sound super confident but I am sure of nothing.”
    Knowing that you don’t know is a sign of wisdom.

  • @susanterry1623
    @susanterry1623 8 месяцев назад +3

    Dear Ms Perel..I had a lovely man once. Back in 1987. He had a personality and energy and he loved me. Now he is my device addicted man playing some 8 to 10 to 12 hours a day...or pursuing his possible options irregardless of how lonely I tell him I am..whole in the same bed or room or car. I wish I could convey the best of times. His kindness his gentle intelligence. His physical strength for such a lean guy..and his beauty. And humor. What a clever joker he was. Now all I see is his face reflected in a screen. I wish so very much that you could help us. Keep your keen discernment sharp for us listeners. He really listens to you! I think it's that little bit of "dutchness" in your voice inflection, or have I gotten the country wrong? Anyways we love you. And I keep praying I will someday see that fellow again that I knew way back then. 38 years ago

    • @soundwalkie
      @soundwalkie 8 месяцев назад

      Hey not sure if Esther would see this at all, likely not. Have you tried to write to her? Or attend one of her online workshops?

  • @KingKlio
    @KingKlio Год назад +6

    This woman is my idol. Period.

  • @Herohector
    @Herohector 6 месяцев назад +1

    Esther's work (written and spoken) has been a great aid lately in my life, I treasure her writings greatly.

  • @natashaziv1795
    @natashaziv1795 9 месяцев назад +2

    I loved how she pooled the questions at the end and just focused on answering the best ones. There were a couple questioners who clearly didn't "get it"; she so gracefully maneuvered around confronting them

  • @mandywood3327
    @mandywood3327 Год назад +7

    So true, my husband of almost 40 years would never have met the checklist criteria I would use for a dating app. So I would not be married with children, living this life which I'm mostly content with.

  • @shumiatcher
    @shumiatcher Месяц назад

    Brilliant & insightful woman !

  • @maryshivy2799
    @maryshivy2799 Год назад +11

    We live by playing the cards we are dealt, and the variables that go with each card turned is our individual journey.
    The wisdom you bring to the truth of the many variables brings great hope for moving forward with hope to discover our true selves. Thanks for your constant renewing of your message.

  • @teresitadominguez3247
    @teresitadominguez3247 Год назад +3

    Please add Spanish subtitles. It’s such an important topic!!!

  • @storiesofblue
    @storiesofblue Год назад +5

    Please, could you invest in subtitles? This talk needs to be shared outside of the sole English speaking audience.

  • @elanalalala
    @elanalalala Год назад +9

    "Digitally facilitated connections are now lowering our expectations of intimacy between humans..."

  • @mjfadaee3419
    @mjfadaee3419 Год назад +20

    I LOVE this. Esther you did it again.

  • @stephaniefortney22
    @stephaniefortney22 Год назад +5

    Esther is A Beautiful Human Being with a Gift to Heal and Create such Love, Intimacy and Life in others, without real connection a heart can only grow cold, we need connection that is Purpose for myself in Life… holding the polarity and learning there is no right or wrong…Incredible Humility and Wisdom, her words fill one with wonderful inspiration. Her Gifts of Clarity, Insight and Knowledge that she articulates and conveys with brilliance, she’s helping thousands…We are never done learning…Absolutely Grateful.

  • @SammieLeaWhite
    @SammieLeaWhite Год назад +3

    Omg 😢 , this is so powerful n heart wrenching 💔. Place this on the curriculum on the humble university of life . Sadly , we are all guilty . Thankfully, there is a way bk home to Eros ❤

  • @chilloften
    @chilloften Год назад +5

    Ester is beauty-full. Thank you Ester.

  • @Mommaslew
    @Mommaslew Год назад +6

    Esther is ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT ❤❤❤❤❤

  • @patriot813
    @patriot813 3 месяца назад

    Wondeful woman. Everyone nowadays should listen to this talk. 🙏🙏🙏

  • @sofiacnm
    @sofiacnm Год назад +5

    So deeply grateful for this. To have such a great female leader and role model is everything 😮

  • @r4ultra
    @r4ultra Год назад +5

    Her response to 46:17 made me Lol! Love her. Such a great talk. So important.

  • @jennifertrask
    @jennifertrask Год назад +10

    This was an excellent talk. Thank you for putting it here.

  • @TheSail2222
    @TheSail2222 4 месяца назад

    Fantastic and fascinating - Esther Perel is a gem.

  • @user-pn7bz3yy9y
    @user-pn7bz3yy9y 8 месяцев назад +1

    She is AMAZING!!! Merci Esther!!!

  • @jacynthevermette8235
    @jacynthevermette8235 Год назад

    This lecture and sharing should saved and broadcasted for generations to come., they will need it.

  • @MaudeyMakes
    @MaudeyMakes 9 месяцев назад +1

    She asks all the important questions. ❤

  • @victoriagrow30
    @victoriagrow30 Год назад +3

    She never ceases to amaze me. I love the reality of her words and how it sometimes smacks me in the face to hear! 🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼💕💕💕💕

  • @SantannaFernanda
    @SantannaFernanda Год назад +10

    Such an inspiring person! So grateful to be able to hear her wisdom.

  • @milenakisel2855
    @milenakisel2855 4 месяца назад

    Esther is a wonderful person and teacher. An Angel in human form!!!❤❤❤

  • @yeet-ed9ji
    @yeet-ed9ji Год назад +6

    It would be so cool if she went on the Lex Fridman podcast

  • @TheArtOfTango
    @TheArtOfTango Год назад +1

    Beginning reminds me of movie “HER”… a must watch!

  • @dianneschmid8129
    @dianneschmid8129 Год назад +4

    Brilliant observations Estelle I am backing u up 100 percent 🕊💕the dangers are very obvious and ur beautiful wisdom is so brilliant 🙏⭐️thank u May your voice heard every where 🌟

  • @wendyblevins3950
    @wendyblevins3950 Год назад +2

    This woman is a genius!

  • @almaguapa-sailboatliveaboa440
    @almaguapa-sailboatliveaboa440 Год назад

    Thank you much Esther for your contributions. ❤

  • @elderfontes5028
    @elderfontes5028 Год назад +3

    Thank tou for sharing these amazing points of view!!

  • @ChaiTogether
    @ChaiTogether Год назад +1

    Honor to hear this woman ! 😊

  • @andrearenee7845
    @andrearenee7845 Год назад +3

    I came across this today and it made me feel hopeful. Thank you so much...

  • @BohemianKitsch
    @BohemianKitsch Год назад +5

    Wow. This woman is brilliant. she presents both skillfully and effortlessly.

  • @LeoTheIronLion
    @LeoTheIronLion Год назад

    She is absolutely brilliant! 🙌🏼👏🏼

  • @maumiceli
    @maumiceli Год назад +3

    Wow I got really strong goosebumps and gratitude at min around 52:30

  • @Allison_White
    @Allison_White Год назад +5

    Wow. Really incredible talk! Thank you for sharing!

  • @carolewright6474
    @carolewright6474 Год назад +1

    Absolutely fabulous 🎉All the way through Esther 🤗

  • @Steve-mo4qp
    @Steve-mo4qp Год назад +2

    Brilliant. And so generous

  • @butterflies7023
    @butterflies7023 Год назад +3

    What a brilliant talk

  • @Guitar3801
    @Guitar3801 Год назад +5

    I love this woman ❤

  • @mtnpfi
    @mtnpfi Год назад +1

    Thank you, Esther, your energy, intelligence and chuzpe is a joy to witness.

  • @minivann6943
    @minivann6943 Год назад +1

    Every time watching Esther is a wonderful, lightening time

  • @stephengarcia2726
    @stephengarcia2726 Год назад +1

    The participation segment was such a strong yet simple demonstration of human interaction and reaction.

  • @chiaraA.
    @chiaraA. Год назад +2

    She's amazing

  • @mdummy
    @mdummy Год назад +5

    Queen

  • @magichappenswithyou
    @magichappenswithyou Год назад +1

    Bravo Esther! Magnificent talk.

  • @EwaChodkowska-mg9dv
    @EwaChodkowska-mg9dv Год назад +1

    Madame you are fantastic !

  • @JasonLiske
    @JasonLiske Год назад +2

    I can’t believe there are only a handful of comments here relative to the issues being tackled and the amount of wisdom being dropped here.

  • @max-ys1ei
    @max-ys1ei Год назад

    Thank you

  • @carolgeorge6409
    @carolgeorge6409 Год назад +1

    Love her!

  • @moniquecm1144
    @moniquecm1144 Год назад

    ❤️just love your way handling all of our life situation true our emotions of living in these days being a widow since 14 years knowing to love myself first to be love By another in equal give and take just being moi❤️thank you ❤️love

  •  Год назад +1

    Absolute Queen 👑

  • @AnnaSmith-ob1vk
    @AnnaSmith-ob1vk Год назад +1

    Nice video!

  • @gondwana6303
    @gondwana6303 10 месяцев назад

    I always find her amazing and moving in her very human insights.

  • @bobgasmi6045
    @bobgasmi6045 Год назад

    Outstanding

  • @charlottemacdonald4167
    @charlottemacdonald4167 2 месяца назад

    It looks like you are going to have to do many more tours; there is a great hunger for your expertise and insights. The subject of the value of emotions is becoming bigger and bigger; a very good development that has not really been addressed on a mass scale in human history.

  • @ava-jl1ll
    @ava-jl1ll Год назад

    She is amazing

  • @bec9259
    @bec9259 Год назад

    So excellent 👌

  • @t1harold
    @t1harold 10 месяцев назад

    How amazing is she!!

  • @LittleMissHoop
    @LittleMissHoop Год назад +1

    This is Excellence.

  • @EVZimora
    @EVZimora Год назад

    Brilliant speech

  • @michaellamb7769
    @michaellamb7769 Год назад +1

    right on with the Ai because I HAVE FALLEN INTO THIS PSYOP AS WELL.

  • @SoularWindSong
    @SoularWindSong Год назад +1

    I really resonated with preceding reading for which this is related. But I couldn’t make this fit. I never settled on if this was my mom, dad, brother, or husband. The pieces just didn’t fit clearly, it wasn’t obvious 🤔 The last card though felt relevant. Thank you

  • @sindypetronella
    @sindypetronella Год назад

    love her

  • @AK-sr7cs
    @AK-sr7cs Год назад +1

    Why the Q&A make me wanna cry? :(

  • @9000ck
    @9000ck Год назад +7

    I want to go back to pre-internet days. Honestly, its too much. Too much information. Too much communication and not enough embodied intimacy. We ignore the body and the body comes to dominate. The body will demand to be listened to. It will make us depressed or anxious or come up with a million somatic symptoms or simply flat numbness. Also: has Esther Perel been reading Byung-Chul Han?

  • @1Sun111
    @1Sun111 Год назад

    great woman

  • @elaineholmes5844
    @elaineholmes5844 8 месяцев назад

    What an amazing woman

  • @lawaleto
    @lawaleto Год назад +3

    Is it just me thinking that human Esther just made an update for ai Esther

  • @POLYLIVING
    @POLYLIVING Год назад

    You’re got me questioning my recent vr toys purchase for long distance lovin

  • @SedaM00
    @SedaM00 8 месяцев назад

    I was afraid of AI but after this talk, I am not. Thanks Esther! x

  • @Sharedpath777
    @Sharedpath777 11 месяцев назад

    Big up Aundre from Jamaica 🇯🇲. 😁

  • @thecurlyvshow
    @thecurlyvshow 9 месяцев назад +1

    Omgggg the baby part was so sad

  • @daughtaofthesoil3510
    @daughtaofthesoil3510 Год назад

    Wow!

  • @missmiasophia7348
    @missmiasophia7348 Год назад +4

    I am asking myself, how to handle conflict in a realtionship in Form of do we vax our children or not.. the pandemic destroyed a lot of relationships because of this Kind of topics.

  • @jcg4050
    @jcg4050 Год назад

    Many nuggets of obvious but profound witty remarks. Offered symptoms of human contradictory living vignettes and inspiring positive longings instead of dwelling on resentment. Remind me to embrace paradox, dilemma, meaningful living coming from struggling with eroticism in a broader perspective..

  • @user-pc7kp9py3s
    @user-pc7kp9py3s 4 месяца назад

    ❤❤❤ her

  • @HarryJoiner
    @HarryJoiner Год назад +1

    30:04 - ugh …
    33:20 - true. (married 30 years)

  • @cyndilu9
    @cyndilu9 Год назад +1

    So interesting! and so much to think about! Life is complicated sometimes lol Thank you

  • @MeuFilho-EL
    @MeuFilho-EL 11 месяцев назад

    Heinlein's book. Moral imperative is survival. But there are steps in stair.
    Circunstances dictates conducts that makes results.
    Moral dilemas are about which step on the stair increases chances of survival, but dependind on circustances one choses short or long objectives. Enabling allingments.

  • @ChrisOgunlowo
    @ChrisOgunlowo Год назад

    Eloquent and humane.

  • @myveryprosongs
    @myveryprosongs Год назад

    It's amazing to see Esther furious. I don't know maybe it's just me. I just watch a lot of her talks and am working with body, so I pick up on things. Do you see it?