Here's the summary: 1. Ask her for suggestion 2. A situational comment 3. Give a unique compliment 4. Introduce yourself 5. Pay attention to details Bonus Tip: Make sure to read the room
Considering most women today can barely hold much less carry an intelligent conversation, perhaps her efforts would be better directed towards those who need it most.
Important things as well: 0:27 (ask for her suggestion), 1:16 (a situational comment), 2:22 (give a unique compliment), 3:43 (introduce yourself), 4:34 (ask for her name), 5:42 (pay attention to details), and 6:29 (make sure to read the room). As for details I can say that they are very important as well. They are like giving a compliments as well. I can say that color of your makeup it fits nicely with color of your lipstick and the color of your sweater. How would French's say: La perfection madam ❤❤❤❤❤❤. I can add also that we have to be relaxed. Why? Because when we are relaxed, we have self-confidence as well. Of course that doesn't mean that we have to literally be relaxed. What it means is that we have to make balance between being relaxed, and being serious as well. Also the gentlemen's have self-confidence as well. Thank you very much Courtney. Greetings from Vrbas / Novi Sad.
Guys, definitely remember what Courtney is saying, don't take it personally if a girl shuts you down, it's not a big deal. Liking someone is very subjective. It doesn't say anything negative about you per say if a woman doesn't reciprocate interest. Keep in mind while one woman will not see you as her cup of tea and see you as a zero, another woman out there will see you as a ten and her cup of tea she wants to spill all over herself. And yes, you'll find women that like you that you like also.
@@harsh3948 a guy needs to present himself the right way and he'll see things change. And in the case of dating apps, guys are gonna have to do the paid subscriptions. The guys getting all the likes have paid subscriptions. And it's not coping when there are great looking women that want you and others that don't, it's just facts. If she doesn't like you, it's her prerogative and the guy literally has no right to be offended. What if the girls he didn't like decided to get offended and decided to do something about it, he wouldn't like that very much.
@@antoniobrasse7157 it is coping to assume great looking women want you just by changing your presentation on OLD. The top 10% of men get the majority of likes
@@harsh3948 you keep saying coping, but all I'm hearing is excuses. Case in point, I think we can all agree that there are some objectively speaking ugly ass dudes that are celebrities etc that are pulling top notch women. It's because of the money/status component. The beautiful thing for men is that those things can change for them which can either decrease or increase their odds with women. A guy that is bottom 10% can actually become top 10%. This is why I say men have it easier in dating than women and that we need to stop playing the victim and own our power. We have the power to change our stars. Women do not. A woman that is say bottom 10% is generally always going to remain there. There isn't really anything she can do about that.
As a kid I was always self conscious about my looks... I had a ad complexation and I was very skinny. On top of that, I received a lot of negative reinforcement from family members about my looks. I was absolutely convinced I was one of the ugliest people around. A couple of years later when I was at a club, a girl came up to me and told me I had beautiful eyes. I never had a compliment like that before, and it boosted my self esteem like nothing before. In fact, the simple compliment got me on the path to change they way how I thought about myself.
Men are logical that’s why I don’t like when family likes to make fun of people like it’s something’s that helpful. If someone is being a problem then sure but random insults to me just aren’t amusing
Everyone’s beautiful in their own way, don’t let other peoples opinion live rent free in your mind. Change your mindset you’ll change your life! At the end of the day anybody and everybody will have something to say… so you best be doing whatever you want. I hope this help
I always try to start conversations off on a humorous note! It may not always lead to anything substantial, but lightens the mood and makes a good impression
@@SystematicMechanic Try combining suggestions for humorous effect. "Hey, I wanted to give you a compliment, but there are so many possibilities to choose from. Maybe you could suggest one for me?"
Best opener is to say hi and ask for her name. If she is slightly interested and open for a conversation, she will ask for you name back. Conversation is all about back and forth and constant responses. As long as she is paying attention and continues talking, it is a good sign that you can ask for a way to get in contact outside of your current environment. If she says no, let her know it was great talking (which so confidence), and to wish her the best.
7:05 me and my friend at the gym just had a conversation about this. He’s the manager at the gym and talks to a lot of members and friends during his workout. Some get the impression he’s flirting, but we both agreed it’s more of socializing and increasing social skills. Not just “getting at women”. I agree that it is key to develop confidence, speaking skills, and overall social circle that can lead to great opportunities down the line. Great content as always!
Hey Courtney, I've learned some people love the straightforward approach. I met a girl and i was upfront about myself "Hey, this is new for me, I been working on my social anxiety and I told myself, if I can come to a club for the first time, find a girl that I think is cute, strike up a conversation and ask her to dance then I know I'm beating this social struggle I been in most my life" that's Very paraphrased of course to the whole conversation, but she danced with me and I got her number and have a date soon. She told me, being up front about my intentions and how I feel was really a turn on as she's never seen that approach and wished more people would do that when meeting somebody The intention for me was to act weather or not I get rejected. the point was to help break down this anxiety barrier that prevents me from meeting new people. I think if, more people were upfront about their intentions and emotion, I think more people would get dates.
I think these entry points are important. The art of conversation has largely been lost on most people who grew up with the internet and smart phones. Technology has lead to a social distancing. I remember when people would sit for dinner or drinks or tea and talk for hours. You don't find that as often anymore.
When I want to get to know someone I FORM them...Family, Organization, Recreation, Motivation. In about 5-7 minutes you'll learn enough to carry on a deeper conversation. Works every time.
@@tfpp1 I like that too. Motivation is cool because it gets them to tell you what got them into the recreational things they do. I'll have to add dreams. I'll make it FORMD. Best part is that it's helped me connect with people on an emotional level rather than just the common superficial. I've been in sales for 20+ years and FORM has helped me break through some of the most dominant or reserved personalities. Finding that one thing that gets them excited has helped me form long lasting business relationships.
Thank you for all your help Courtney. I matched with this girl on Facebook dating a couple weeks ago and we’ve been hitting it off really well from what my conversation feels like. I’ve been applying a lot of the things you’ve talked about in this and it seems like things are going to go well. This woman is really mature and Absolutely despises the traits that some of these cringe girls, that we react to on this channel exhibit.
Just watched this video and it’s great, so so helpful!! I’ve just moved to a new area for work and started 2 weeks ago and in that time I’ve seen this girl I really like, she comes through the train station the same time every morning. The first day I saw her she just started a conversation with me and it was so natural with her, the one massive problem was that I didn’t have the confidence to ask her name and I’m gutted because I won’t see her for a couple of weeks as I have swapped shifts and she is on annual leave so I just hope she doesn’t forget me and it can be as natural again as the first few interactions but I am very keen on her but I’m just trying to get some advice and tips on how not to mess it up!!
I have 25 yrs+ of memories involving fails and mishaps, discoveries, challenges and successes, places I've been, people I've met, and things I've seen. I can talk your head off for hrs. The key to conversing with someone is to first have fodder for the conversation. I've been active enough in my life that if a woman was to talk about practically anything, i could connect it with something i have done or experienced.
Great advice. I met a woman in a fitness class recently, just by saying how fun the class was and asking her what she liked about the class. We had a good conversation and have plans to meet after the next class.
Thank you SO VERY MUCH Courtney. SO many women, most online, do NOT want me to ask them what their names are; Since I am terrible with faces, that’s my strength to remember people.
Thank you, Courtney. I just found out I've been doing a lot of things right. I'm a fast food worker and use drive-thru orders as a conversation starter, which certainly works.
I had a girl compliment me on my haircut as I was walking into a grocery store. I said, thank you so much. As she was walking away, she told me to stay cute. That was five years ago, and I still remember it.
I usually don't have problems just starting conversations with women in public but I've always struggled with escalating the conversation if I'm romantically interested. I probably just need practice.
A few days ago I was at my local grocery store, and was only 80% certain (she had her back turned towards me) neighbour. She picked up ginger, and I said "ginger". She recognised me straight away (we spoke at lenght before). So that was the "situational comment" section. As an INTJ (introvert), this is my go-to strategy.
I find that the hardest part is seldom the approach, or making contact, it's the _follow-up conversation_ and leading it to asking for her number, for example. To make yourself interesting and choose your words.
*Approaching women with genuine curiosity and a light-hearted attitude can really make a difference. These tips will definitely help in making conversations feel more natural and enjoyable!*
Hey, I am new to your channel and it's excellent, very informative. As a extreme introvert I need all the help I can get ☺ thanks Courtney great content. ☺😎👍
Hi Courtney, its Kriss here :) You're totally right. Many times we're just trying to hard when keeping it simple makes the best impression. I have been following your channel for a while and I really like it. keep it up :) I like that you always introduce yourself in the beginning so all new audience know who you are and whats going on. Regards from Sweden
Cortney. Thanks for giving us a lift. Went on a first date, and how the conversation between the both of us, it was great. Even found out we had similar backgrounds and found a connection. This also happened to be the first time ever talking outside of technology. It was great!
I did a lot of cold approaching in college, and I found it to be about a 95% chance of going nowhere, a 1% chance of actually getting an instant date or a real chance at text game, and a 4% chance of a real, human conversation that went nowhere. Confidence and social-norm adherence wasn't the variable. I had to stand out somehow to them on an individual basis. I guess I'm only really considerable for 5% or so of women.
@@OgunDaMan this is bad advice if you are a man. For a woman this might be good advice, but not for a man. Dating is a competition and men have the disadvantage due to the fact that women are the ones who ultimately decided who can be in a relationship and who doesn’t.
@@demodiums7216go to the gym and work on something. I like to draw in public. Helps me get the most work done. Ppl, men and women, are intrigued by it. Then it’s up to you. Stand out. Bing hot isn’t enough
This is weird because I was just thinking about this. I can always keep a conversation going but I sometimes have difficulty starting one. I try not to make it seem like a “job interview” lol
Courtney is such a great resource, and sometimes it's just great to hear a woman suggest, "Just introduce yourself." It seems like too often there has to be like things to fall into place, and stars align to strike the right conversation. At least for me.
Women LOVE giving their opinions on almost anything but especially things they're well versed in, so that will always be a great conversation starter. I've done it so many times before and women are usually more than happy to give their input on things.
I've been around here for quite a while now, but I had never heard the story at the gym with the guy asking for your name. But the way he had done it was really spot on.
I love how your mind works the fact that your intention is too help people,makes you even more beautiful...God bless your soul A flower like you had to have come from the garden of Heaven
1. Being interested in the person you're speaking with is crucial, regardless of your or their status. 2. What i usually tell my friends are: i find it entertaining to speak with new people, and usually always compliment them on something, while keeping it lightly humorous and genuine. 3. Anything in particular that caught YOUR interest about her? 4. Keep it simple and relatable. Food, traveling, culture, dreams, ambitions, goals, interests, passions... 5. Most (not all) love to talk about themselves (1. Actually being interested in the person), so ask questions you genuinely are interested in about them, because it shows you pay attention.
When I was in school as a teenager, I would sometimes make eye contact with girls that I found cute, and then hold eye contact with them and give them playfully flirty smile, and then when I noticed that they became shy I just walked away, and let them make the next step if they felt like it - this did sometimes work very well, and I felt that it was a pretty relaxed way to show a hint of interest.
This helps, I’m trying to talk to a girl at the gym that I think is beautiful. We only say hi or bye to each other and the only time we actually talked was when she asked me how many sets I had. Thank you
Wow, this was actually really helpful! I love the last 2 especially and your right, it is so easy to overthink these kind of things, especially if you’re nervous
Happy Friday, Courtney ❤! The pink shirt looks great on you, you wear it well. A strategy that I was taught that I still use to this day when it comes to names of people is to think of someone famous and keep that famous person's name in your head to remember a person's name. Like John for example, I can think of John Travolta. Also for Courtney, I can think of Courtney Cox Have an awesome Friday!
As usual, Courtney gives advice that is sensible, logical & excellent. (Notwithstanding the occasional lapse in understanding.) However, real life is neither sensible, logical or - surprise, surprise - excellent. For most men, for most of the time, these approaches will result in, at best, 15 minutes of polite conversation that leads to nothing further. The stock-standard female advice is: don't give up, keep trying and improving. All this really reinforces, is that men make approximately 99% of the effort. The video that ACTUALLY needs to be made is the one directed to women, exhorting them to make more of an effort in starting conversations with men. For there can be no smashing of the patriarchy without this societal development.
Thanks for the video, Courtney! I've used a few of these techniques in the past, and I'll be adding the ones I haven't to my repertoire. Speaking of compliments, I really like that a lock of your hair is shorter than the rest. It's a cool look, and I'll be sure to steal it when I design my next character!
Hey so I don't intend to always write some big thing on a bunch of your videos but what you're saying usually shakes something loose. In high school I was more shy than I am now.. not painfully shy, not shy in a way I ever considered a negative but I was objectively less able to hold my own in a conversation. A few things played a role in this sort of naturally shifting. First I started playing online video games like right before I turned 20. Nothing insane but that little exposure to people far more intelligent than I was, plus needing to type everything saw an absolute explosion in my vocabulary and my ability to describe things in general. So it is really key to have a strong command over your core language. The more ways you can describe any given thing the more you understand it, the more you can say about it, and the more creative you can be while talking. You want to be able to put words together in your own way. Something I randomly invented is, think of 2 words that rhyme, any 2 doesn't matter how different.. then make as many sentences as you can with those 2 words in it. I can't stress how important it is in enabling one to feel confident in the words said, ideas expressed, concepts noted than having a deep grasp of your language. It is more important than anything. Also have the ability to go deep, talk philosophy, speak of the finer things, of art, of the state of humanity plus the ability to be a Kelso like goof. Ideally a lady should see one side of you and be pleasantly surprised as another side of you shows up like this is a full person. If you work on your language you will never have a shortage of things to say, because you can literally say anything at any point and you know it. Cheers Court solid as usual
Hi Courtney: All I'll add is that when asking for suggestions, it probably needs to be natural or in earnest since (whether in work or dating or politics) more of us can spot false receptiveness or "bad faith" interest.
You referenced a coffee shop a lot. Def a good place to meet chicks. I find the library, grocery store, bowling alley, pool hall are the best places to meet women. If a group is next to you on the lanes in the bowling alley you can compliment their shot or support them as you go up on your turn. its a very simple strategy. grocery store or anywhere public where you are waiting in line, if something funny or a weird person is doing something you can immediately talk about that. i use this often and it works wonders lol. For me, gauging a womans interest in you will literally be in the first 10 seconds. if shes feeding back into what you initially said, you're in. If off the rip she doesnt care, shes not going to GAIN interest. Your first approach has to be MINT
It's interesting how when you stand in line at the same cafe over the course of months you'll occasionally observe a woman being extremely nice to the cashier: being upbeat, asking how they're doing, etc. When I was single I found that sooo attractive that it might warrant a compliment from me. (Always nice to find someone who passes the "polite-to-strangers test" right off the bat!) While a conversation about the menu might break the ice, it's so much easier to initiate conversation after you've observed a pleasant display of a person's character.
When I was dating. I would approach a women I was interested in and say that my friends always make fun of me for how I dressed, and since I was a bit color blind it was hard for me to coordinate. I would then say you clearly know about fashion because you look really great in your outfit. Then ask her opinion of what colors would go well with me, styles etc. We would usually end up talking for 10-15 minutes. I would then tell her I had to get back to my friends and ask for her phone number so we could finish our conversation at a later date. It worked more times than it didn’t.
i drive to work by bus everyday and there is a girl that i like, we made an eye contact few times, she gave me that fast look and smiled, im introvert and it is really hard to me to start a conversation with anyone,+ ive been healing with my past relationship for last 8 years and i just dont want to get same bad feeling again, but also i dont want to live rest of my life alone, any advice?
Fight the fear of getting rejected or getting hurt again, a man shouldnt fear things like this and women smell it as Neediness immediately. But also dont forget to process your weaknesses as an introvert and work intensely on your weaknesses. That should boost up your appearance. My final advice would be, if u see her again look at her and away, check if ur on her radar. When u see that she is looking at you, look back but deeply in her eyes for the second time, smile and look away OR stay until she is looking away. (But remember, dont stare 😁 Then u can approach her, just risk it mate✌🏽
This is really good advice for just for starting conversations in general. I always love talking to people and do pretty well once we get going, but starting things up is the hard part haha.
I feel that this does help, Courtney. Thank you. As an introvert, I am never wanting to strike up a conversation with anyone fearing that I am wasting my time due to other priorities that I have in my life. Plus when people constantly strike up a conversation when I wear a sweatshirt with a Raising Cane’s on it, I tend to just get stimulated and eventually annoyed thinking that I like Cane’s though I don’t like it like I used to. This really enforced my belief that people bite. This is a reason why I don’t prefer small talk. I did not understand what you meant by reading the room. Can you elaborate a little more on that?
Reading the room means being aware of the situation. Example; don't try to pick someboddy up when they stand crying at a murder scene. Just does not seem the best timing 😉
@@Lisa-zi6hb dude is introverte, it's difficult talking to men or women 😉 I do agree with your statement, and thank you for being supportif for this guy. 😁
Good one again Thanks! I am a bit of an introvert myself and may tend to over think things, also maybe a bit thinking about rejection. The Science of people is also good one with Vanessa. Thanks!
6:50, "And whatever you do, do not act ... hurt or aggressive over the fact that she doesn't want to talk to you." Excellent advice. There's no shortage of guys who don't follow it, which leads to why many women don't like being approached by men they don't know. Remember, guys, there may be a million reasons why a woman shies away from, ignores or shuts down your attempt to talk to them, and most of those reasons have nothing to do with you. But there are also plenty of women out there who would be happy to talk to you, so if one woman won't give you the time of day, politely excuse yourself (or just say nothing, if you prefer), leave her alone and find someone else to strike up a conversation with.
My friend and I used to play a game in high school that we called cards. Basically, one of us would see an attractive person out in public and tell the other person they had to go talk to them. Once they did, regardless of the outcome, the person who tried to initiate the conversation now had the cards and could tell the other person to talk to someone next time. We did all kinds of stupid things to try and start conversations, and surprisingly, they worked more frequently than you would think. Learning to initiate conversations with strangers was a valuable skill, but learning to take rejection, laugh about it, and do it again was like learning a superpower.
I think "unique" should be the operative word there when you're trying to compliment a girl because chances are, beautiful women will hear the same old generic compliments dozens of times a day. Really important to tailor the compliment so that it fits that particular girl instead of saying something that could apply to every other girl.
Good advice. I’ve found that making a comment about something happening “in the moment” that both are experiencing is good. If it goes somewhere, great. If not, you’ll still come across as a nice friendly person.
NOW THIS IS THE VIDEO IVE BEEN WAITING FOR! Always good with the conversation but have ALWAYS struggled with the opening! Cuz for me, it has too be natural. I'm not about too roll up on ANYONE not just a girl, unless I have a viable reason too. (P.s something I need too/have been working on) P.s.s I'm not sure if you are aware but I highly suggest you give, ques by Vanessa Van Edwards a read if you ever get the time. I think you will definitely find it insightful and interesting! -have a good one
1. Ask for a suggestion...restaurant / specific food 2. situational comment...work out/ job/ school 3. Give a UNIQIUE complement... one complement only... 4. Flat out introduce yourself...cafe/ coffee shop/ 5. Ask for her name... at gym/ 6. Pay attention to details...at coffee shop Bonus tip---> Read the room--/deal with ( crushing-joke) rejection
These are some great pointers, Courtney. I’ll definitely keep these in mind. In my experience, it’s hard to come across sources I can trust these days. Anyway, keep up the great work!
7:50 Just be confident, believe in yourself and go for it. Don't come across as shy and timid..... Yesss i wish it was that easy as just thinking of that and saying that to myself 🤨
I've tried that first one many times. I'm new to this town and I heard about this event and trying to locate it. That's a great way to get called a misogynist or get called a dummy and told just google it. Here in DC men are not supposed to start conversations with ladies unless they're like super Chad or something.
Hey courtney new to your channel and I have to say I am very impressed with your content. I've just recently viewed your other videos addressing the issues with modern dating. Could you make a video giving advice on how to stay motivated in regards to your dating life? I only ask because as fantastic and honest and open minded your content is. When you shed light on how modern dating is and the behavioural trends that some women follow. It's unfortunately had a negative effect on me in regards to motivation . As much as I'm glad I can confirm my assumptions on the dating climate. I now just feel demotivated to keep trying. It just all feels like so much more effort than it's honestly worth. I feel dating should ve a fun and relatively easy going experience (atleast in the early days). However because some women are holding us men to such a high standards. If we honestly are happy as who we are right now. Changing just feels inauthentic and alot more effort than it's honestly worth just to potentially maybe have more luck. Of course I agree with self improvement for yourself. But what if you genuinely are happy with who you are right now? Atleast excluding your love life? As you can probably tell I'm lacking motivation myself lol. Therefore as an idea for a future video I hope you might consider this. Much love from the. U.K 🏴
Hi Courtney and everyone, I am sober. I had a conversation with a woman at a coffee shop about ten years ago. Upstate New York. She asked me "Have you tried the Jamaican blend?" Me "No." Then I tried it. It was strong. 2015 Nashville Country Music Hall of Fame. One of the female employees :) had a sexy southern accent. We talked. She asked me why I was in Nashville. We talked. She suggested that I eat at a local spot. I miss Nashville. Many of the women were easy to have a conversation with. Currently I'm in Rochester, New York :(. Many of the women can be closed off.
I would say that although asking suggestions can be good, be careful as women like to have choice, but not too much pressure in choosing from too many options. In my experience women prefer dates to be mostly planned by men, but find the balance of letting her be without stress and, let her feel empowered by choice and present options that can best show show that you listen to her
1. Ask for her suggestion -many people like to give their opinions -what is your favorite place to eat around here -my first time here, would you go for (this entree) or (that entree)? -I'm new here, what are YOUR go-to food spots? 2. A situational comment -making a comment about a situation you're BOTH presently in -workout related, college class related... 3. Give a UNIQUE compliment -must be clean, no sexual/innuendo talk -ONE compliment will suffice -try to avoid compliments on her physical appearance -something genuine and unique that other guys haven't tried on her 4. Introduce yourself -Don't overthink it -Hi, I don't think we've met before, I'm (your name) -Hi, I'm here often and don't believe I've seen you before, I'm (your name) 5. Ask for her name -Hi, I hate to interrupt but I feel I can't leave without knowing your name -Don't overthink these approaches -pick-up lines and odd approaches aren't advised 6. Pay attention to details -find a detail presently in your environment and make a conversation about it -Hi, I see you're reading (title), I've been thinking of reading that too, is it good? -Hi, I like (the topic on her T-shirt) too! What (subtopic) do you like most about it? Bonus: When starting a conversation with a stranger, READ THE ROOM! -if she's indifferent/annoyed with you, don't force it, politely bid farewell and DO NOT lose your cool with her. Praise yourself for stepping up to the plate. -ALL conversations are useful practice, don't consider them pass/fail -everyone can use conversations to brush up on social skills -try not to overthink, minimize hesitation, try to put any shyness on the back burner -remember-you miss 100% of the shots you never take, and the shots you miss will make you better.
I'm a happily married man now. I will say something that I had a lot of success with was making sarcastic observational statements, sometimes about the environment, sometimes about them. But it was always in good fun nothing particularly mean.
The pick up line I know men like to use is so common is "This is totally random." Women will respect you more for trying instead of just staring at her across the room, not approaching, able to handle reject, and be respectful about it.
It's just showing awareness ---We're acknowledging that we're invading your space and this probably doesn't happen often, but we're here to do it anyway :)
I can tell you right now that most men like compliments 100x more than women do because we receive them way less often! The last compliment I got was on July 10th, 2016 and I hold it near and dear to my heart. (jk obviously)
You want me to introduce myself as Courtney? But my name's John. By the way, this only works if you're beautiful/handsome. When someone ugly like me asks a question, I never get past excuse me, before she interrupts with, I have a boyfriend. And men can NEVER give a compliment without sounding creepy.
Courtney do you have more ideas? Your videos keep coming with new ideas and I appreciate them. Also Can you perhaps mock a date with a guy how it would go to show when it goes good and when it doesn't for a video? Thanks
I do love compliments, especially the unspoken ones like when a woman touches your shoulder, because she can tell you don't need shoulder pads in a coat
Ngl Courtney the unique compliment really does work. Ive been smiling more and once in a while I see a girl with a really pretty smile to smile back. I will say you have such a beautiful smile it really brightens their day a lot more and have been talked to more. Will definitely need to try the name one it sounds really nice and genuine one of my goals has been good communication since I know it helps in my job and talking with clients so trying to be more open and talk to people has really helped
Here's the summary:
1. Ask her for suggestion
2. A situational comment
3. Give a unique compliment
4. Introduce yourself
5. Pay attention to details
Bonus Tip: Make sure to read the room
Considering most women today can barely hold much less carry an intelligent conversation, perhaps her efforts would be better directed towards those who need it most.
@@sanchozarchicha1064 bonus tip, do none of the above if you're under 6 foot and ugly, because she will perceive you as being creepy.
@Adam Black Edition That's a limiting belief. You literally come off creepy when this is your belief system. Change that belief.
@@Leoo117 I can see your new to this....
Here's the summary:
1-6: Just be attractive bro
Important things as well: 0:27 (ask for her suggestion), 1:16 (a situational comment), 2:22 (give a unique compliment), 3:43 (introduce yourself), 4:34 (ask for her name), 5:42 (pay attention to details), and 6:29 (make sure to read the room).
As for details I can say that they are very important as well. They are like giving a compliments as well. I can say that color of your makeup it fits nicely with color of your lipstick and the color of your sweater.
How would French's say: La perfection madam ❤❤❤❤❤❤.
I can add also that we have to be relaxed. Why? Because when we are relaxed, we have self-confidence as well. Of course that doesn't mean that we have to literally be relaxed. What it means is that we have to make balance between being relaxed, and being serious as well. Also the gentlemen's have self-confidence as well.
Thank you very much Courtney.
Greetings from Vrbas / Novi Sad.
Guys, definitely remember what Courtney is saying, don't take it personally if a girl shuts you down, it's not a big deal. Liking someone is very subjective. It doesn't say anything negative about you per say if a woman doesn't reciprocate interest. Keep in mind while one woman will not see you as her cup of tea and see you as a zero, another woman out there will see you as a ten and her cup of tea she wants to spill all over herself. And yes, you'll find women that like you that you like also.
*per se* (not "per say")
God our education system sucks! Lol
Is that how you cope? I bet you can’t explain how a small minority of men are getting the majority of likes and dates on OLD
@@harsh3948 a guy needs to present himself the right way and he'll see things change. And in the case of dating apps, guys are gonna have to do the paid subscriptions. The guys getting all the likes have paid subscriptions. And it's not coping when there are great looking women that want you and others that don't, it's just facts. If she doesn't like you, it's her prerogative and the guy literally has no right to be offended. What if the girls he didn't like decided to get offended and decided to do something about it, he wouldn't like that very much.
@@antoniobrasse7157 it is coping to assume great looking women want you just by changing your presentation on OLD. The top 10% of men get the majority of likes
@@harsh3948 you keep saying coping, but all I'm hearing is excuses. Case in point, I think we can all agree that there are some objectively speaking ugly ass dudes that are celebrities etc that are pulling top notch women. It's because of the money/status component. The beautiful thing for men is that those things can change for them which can either decrease or increase their odds with women. A guy that is bottom 10% can actually become top 10%. This is why I say men have it easier in dating than women and that we need to stop playing the victim and own our power. We have the power to change our stars. Women do not. A woman that is say bottom 10% is generally always going to remain there. There isn't really anything she can do about that.
As a kid I was always self conscious about my looks... I had a ad complexation and I was very skinny. On top of that, I received a lot of negative reinforcement from family members about my looks. I was absolutely convinced I was one of the ugliest people around. A couple of years later when I was at a club, a girl came up to me and told me I had beautiful eyes. I never had a compliment like that before, and it boosted my self esteem like nothing before. In fact, the simple compliment got me on the path to change they way how I thought about myself.
Men are logical that’s why I don’t like when family likes to make fun of people like it’s something’s that helpful. If someone is being a problem then sure but random insults to me just aren’t amusing
Everyone’s beautiful in their own way, don’t let other peoples opinion live rent free in your mind. Change your mindset you’ll change your life! At the end of the day anybody and everybody will have something to say… so you best be doing whatever you want. I hope this help
I feel your pain about being skinny when you were young.
@@punjeet8347 Thank you.... it was helpful. Take Care!
I always try to start conversations off on a humorous note! It may not always lead to anything substantial, but lightens the mood and makes a good impression
Love it!
@@CourtneyRyan Great way to build rapport!
@@admirbarucija2018 Example?
@@SystematicMechanic Try combining suggestions for humorous effect. "Hey, I wanted to give you a compliment, but there are so many possibilities to choose from. Maybe you could suggest one for me?"
@@SystematicMechanic “Excuse me, I’m waiting for my flight & getting bored, do you mind if i try to hit on you ? “
Best opener is to say hi and ask for her name. If she is slightly interested and open for a conversation, she will ask for you name back. Conversation is all about back and forth and constant responses. As long as she is paying attention and continues talking, it is a good sign that you can ask for a way to get in contact outside of your current environment. If she says no, let her know it was great talking (which so confidence), and to wish her the best.
7:05 me and my friend at the gym just had a conversation about this. He’s the manager at the gym and talks to a lot of members and friends during his workout. Some get the impression he’s flirting, but we both agreed it’s more of socializing and increasing social skills. Not just “getting at women”. I agree that it is key to develop confidence, speaking skills, and overall social circle that can lead to great opportunities down the line. Great content as always!
Hey Courtney, I've learned some people love the straightforward approach. I met a girl and i was upfront about myself "Hey, this is new for me, I been working on my social anxiety and I told myself, if I can come to a club for the first time, find a girl that I think is cute, strike up a conversation and ask her to dance then I know I'm beating this social struggle I been in most my life" that's Very paraphrased of course to the whole conversation, but she danced with me and I got her number and have a date soon. She told me, being up front about my intentions and how I feel was really a turn on as she's never seen that approach and wished more people would do that when meeting somebody The intention for me was to act weather or not I get rejected. the point was to help break down this anxiety barrier that prevents me from meeting new people. I think if, more people were upfront about their intentions and emotion, I think more people would get dates.
I think these entry points are important. The art of conversation has largely been lost on most people who grew up with the internet and smart phones. Technology has lead to a social distancing. I remember when people would sit for dinner or drinks or tea and talk for hours. You don't find that as often anymore.
When I want to get to know someone I FORM them...Family, Organization, Recreation, Motivation. In about 5-7 minutes you'll learn enough to carry on a deeper conversation. Works every time.
What does Organization represent?
@@96robj what they do for work basically.
@@Shreadington thank you
I know it as FORD: family, occupation, recreation, dreams.
@@tfpp1 I like that too. Motivation is cool because it gets them to tell you what got them into the recreational things they do. I'll have to add dreams. I'll make it FORMD. Best part is that it's helped me connect with people on an emotional level rather than just the common superficial. I've been in sales for 20+ years and FORM has helped me break through some of the most dominant or reserved personalities. Finding that one thing that gets them excited has helped me form long lasting business relationships.
Thank you for all your help Courtney. I matched with this girl on Facebook dating a couple weeks ago and we’ve been hitting it off really well from what my conversation feels like. I’ve been applying a lot of the things you’ve talked about in this and it seems like things are going to go well. This woman is really mature and Absolutely despises the traits that some of these cringe girls, that we react to on this channel exhibit.
Good for you bro.
Get yours and make sure everyone is respected.
Bravo mate...but remember, take her words with caution, and always listen to her actions. Best of luck !
Bro, I'm already clapping her cheeks
@@josephzsoka874 aye aye captain.
@@JezusC no way dude. Trust me, we’ve both talked about how we could possibly love each other, but we need to take things slow lol.
Thank you Courtney Ryan For helping people out with amazing facts for relationship skills and money finance
Happy to help! ❤️
Be an aggressive pick up artist.. This is the key. 😂
I’m glad you are giving advice like this that guys need to hear as a woman❤ it’s really helpful when it comes to relationships ❤
Men definitely need help in this department. Where do women go get advice on approaching men ? Yea that's what I was thinking also.
briar35981 - you know who this is really for….
@@briar35981 It's not really any different. People are people. It's all about striking up a conversation and not being afraid of Rejection.
Of course,guys are the problem,not the women who are giving back 1-2 word responses LOL
@giorgosdro7059 if that happens cut bait and bounce..respectfully my dude.
I’m not sure if anyone has ever told you but your voice is just relaxing lol. Like it actually helps me fall asleep in a way
Just watched this video and it’s great, so so helpful!! I’ve just moved to a new area for work and started 2 weeks ago and in that time I’ve seen this girl I really like, she comes through the train station the same time every morning. The first day I saw her she just started a conversation with me and it was so natural with her, the one massive problem was that I didn’t have the confidence to ask her name and I’m gutted because I won’t see her for a couple of weeks as I have swapped shifts and she is on annual leave so I just hope she doesn’t forget me and it can be as natural again as the first few interactions but I am very keen on her but I’m just trying to get some advice and tips on how not to mess it up!!
I have 25 yrs+ of memories involving fails and mishaps, discoveries, challenges and successes, places I've been, people I've met, and things I've seen. I can talk your head off for hrs.
The key to conversing with someone is to first have fodder for the conversation. I've been active enough in my life that if a woman was to talk about practically anything, i could connect it with something i have done or experienced.
Great advice. I met a woman in a fitness class recently, just by saying how fun the class was and asking her what she liked about the class. We had a good conversation and have plans to meet after the next class.
Thank you SO VERY MUCH Courtney. SO many women, most online, do NOT want me to ask them what their names are; Since I am terrible with faces, that’s my strength to remember people.
Thank you, Courtney. I just found out I've been doing a lot of things right. I'm a fast food worker and use drive-thru orders as a conversation starter, which certainly works.
Can we all just take a moment to congratulate Courtney on crossing the half-million subscriber mark? Way to go, Courtney!
No.
Earned
I had a girl compliment me on my haircut as I was walking into a grocery store. I said, thank you so much. As she was walking away, she told me to stay cute.
That was five years ago, and I still remember it.
The life of every average guy ever. We get one compliment in our entire lifespan and never forget it
Yup. Thanks my girl frienda compliment me cuz they love being my friend. They are so sweet
I usually don't have problems just starting conversations with women in public but I've always struggled with escalating the conversation if I'm romantically interested. I probably just need practice.
Watch tykwondoe for that
Are you not asking for their number or asking hey you wanna hang out?
I'm totally opposite.
A few days ago I was at my local grocery store, and was only 80% certain (she had her back turned towards me) neighbour. She picked up ginger, and I said "ginger". She recognised me straight away (we spoke at lenght before). So that was the "situational comment" section. As an INTJ (introvert), this is my go-to strategy.
This is why I love Courtney. Practical advise, clearly articulated.
I find that the hardest part is seldom the approach, or making contact, it's the _follow-up conversation_ and leading it to asking for her number, for example. To make yourself interesting and choose your words.
*Approaching women with genuine curiosity and a light-hearted attitude can really make a difference. These tips will definitely help in making conversations feel more natural and enjoyable!*
Thank you so much for this! Honestly I’ve struggled with this a lot and needed answers - especially as one who’s got problems with social anxiety😂😂
Hey, I am new to your channel and it's excellent, very informative. As a extreme introvert I need all the help I can get ☺ thanks Courtney great content. ☺😎👍
Hi Courtney, its Kriss here :)
You're totally right. Many times we're just trying to hard when keeping it simple makes the best impression.
I have been following your channel for a while and I really like it. keep it up :) I like that you always introduce yourself in the beginning so all new audience know who you are and whats going on.
Regards from Sweden
Cortney. Thanks for giving us a lift. Went on a first date, and how the conversation between the both of us, it was great. Even found out we had similar backgrounds and found a connection. This also happened to be the first time ever talking outside of technology. It was great!
I did a lot of cold approaching in college, and I found it to be about a 95% chance of going nowhere, a 1% chance of actually getting an instant date or a real chance at text game, and a 4% chance of a real, human conversation that went nowhere.
Confidence and social-norm adherence wasn't the variable. I had to stand out somehow to them on an individual basis. I guess I'm only really considerable for 5% or so of women.
Well it depends on the how the approach was executed.
@@OgunDaMan this is bad advice if you are a man. For a woman this might be good advice, but not for a man. Dating is a competition and men have the disadvantage due to the fact that women are the ones who ultimately decided who can be in a relationship and who doesn’t.
@@OgunDaMan your advice: if you arent super attractive...give up and stay single
Women rarely approach
@@demodiums7216go to the gym and work on something. I like to draw in public. Helps me get the most work done. Ppl, men and women, are intrigued by it. Then it’s up to you. Stand out. Bing hot isn’t enough
@@OgunDaMan #truth. If women don't approach you, to hell with them.
This is weird because I was just thinking about this. I can always keep a conversation going but I sometimes have difficulty starting one. I try not to make it seem like a “job interview” lol
Totally relate. It can feel a little intimidating and we tend to overthink it 😂 hope this helps
Courtney is such a great resource, and sometimes it's just great to hear a woman suggest, "Just introduce yourself."
It seems like too often there has to be like things to fall into place, and stars align to strike the right conversation. At least for me.
Women LOVE giving their opinions on almost anything but especially things they're well versed in, so that will always be a great conversation starter. I've done it so many times before and women are usually more than happy to give their input on things.
They have to want to talk to you in the first place.
Women love conversations about their favorite subjects, themselves. So make it all about her.
I've been around here for quite a while now, but I had never heard the story at the gym with the guy asking for your name. But the way he had done it was really spot on.
I love how your mind works the fact that your intention is too help people,makes you even more beautiful...God bless your soul
A flower like you had to have come from the garden of Heaven
Congratulations Courtney on 500k Subscribers! What a milestone.
1. Being interested in the person you're speaking with is crucial, regardless of your or their status.
2. What i usually tell my friends are: i find it entertaining to speak with new people, and usually always compliment them on something, while keeping it lightly humorous and genuine.
3. Anything in particular that caught YOUR interest about her?
4. Keep it simple and relatable. Food, traveling, culture, dreams, ambitions, goals, interests, passions...
5. Most (not all) love to talk about themselves (1. Actually being interested in the person), so ask questions you genuinely are interested in about them, because it shows you pay attention.
When I was in school as a teenager, I would sometimes make eye contact with girls that I found cute, and then hold eye contact with them and give them playfully flirty smile, and then when I noticed that they became shy I just walked away, and let them make the next step if they felt like it - this did sometimes work very well, and I felt that it was a pretty relaxed way to show a hint of interest.
This helps, I’m trying to talk to a girl at the gym that I think is beautiful. We only say hi or bye to each other and the only time we actually talked was when she asked me how many sets I had. Thank you
If you’re already saying hi and bye you’re already halfway there. Just gotta take that next step by starting the convo.
I complimented a woman at work once and was taken to HR for it. I actually was filed on.
Serves you right
Never take the risk at work after metoo
Wow, this was actually really helpful! I love the last 2 especially and your right, it is so easy to overthink these kind of things, especially if you’re nervous
I've been listening to you for a while. I really like how you speak, very concise! Has helped me a lot in my dating experience.
Happy Friday, Courtney ❤! The pink shirt looks great on you, you wear it well. A strategy that I was taught that I still use to this day when it comes to names of people is to think of someone famous and keep that famous person's name in your head to remember a person's name. Like John for example, I can think of John Travolta. Also for Courtney, I can think of Courtney Cox
Have an awesome Friday!
As usual, Courtney gives advice that is sensible, logical & excellent. (Notwithstanding the occasional lapse in understanding.) However, real life is neither sensible, logical or - surprise, surprise - excellent. For most men, for most of the time, these approaches will result in, at best, 15 minutes of polite conversation that leads to nothing further.
The stock-standard female advice is: don't give up, keep trying and improving. All this really reinforces, is that men make approximately 99% of the effort. The video that ACTUALLY needs to be made is the one directed to women, exhorting them to make more of an effort in starting conversations with men. For there can be no smashing of the patriarchy without this societal development.
Thanks for the video, Courtney! I've used a few of these techniques in the past, and I'll be adding the ones I haven't to my repertoire. Speaking of compliments, I really like that a lock of your hair is shorter than the rest. It's a cool look, and I'll be sure to steal it when I design my next character!
Hey so I don't intend to always write some big thing on a bunch of your videos but what you're saying usually shakes something loose. In high school I was more shy than I am now.. not painfully shy, not shy in a way I ever considered a negative but I was objectively less able to hold my own in a conversation. A few things played a role in this sort of naturally shifting. First I started playing online video games like right before I turned 20. Nothing insane but that little exposure to people far more intelligent than I was, plus needing to type everything saw an absolute explosion in my vocabulary and my ability to describe things in general. So it is really key to have a strong command over your core language. The more ways you can describe any given thing the more you understand it, the more you can say about it, and the more creative you can be while talking. You want to be able to put words together in your own way. Something I randomly invented is, think of 2 words that rhyme, any 2 doesn't matter how different.. then make as many sentences as you can with those 2 words in it. I can't stress how important it is in enabling one to feel confident in the words said, ideas expressed, concepts noted than having a deep grasp of your language. It is more important than anything. Also have the ability to go deep, talk philosophy, speak of the finer things, of art, of the state of humanity plus the ability to be a Kelso like goof. Ideally a lady should see one side of you and be pleasantly surprised as another side of you shows up like this is a full person. If you work on your language you will never have a shortage of things to say, because you can literally say anything at any point and you know it. Cheers Court solid as usual
Hi Courtney: All I'll add is that when asking for suggestions, it probably needs to be natural or in earnest since (whether in work or dating or politics) more of us can spot false receptiveness or "bad faith" interest.
You referenced a coffee shop a lot. Def a good place to meet chicks.
I find the library, grocery store, bowling alley, pool hall are the best places to meet women.
If a group is next to you on the lanes in the bowling alley you can compliment their shot or support them as you go up on your turn. its a very simple strategy.
grocery store or anywhere public where you are waiting in line, if something funny or a weird person is doing something you can immediately talk about that. i use this often and it works wonders lol.
For me, gauging a womans interest in you will literally be in the first 10 seconds. if shes feeding back into what you initially said, you're in.
If off the rip she doesnt care, shes not going to GAIN interest. Your first approach has to be MINT
Definitely helpful. I think most well adjusted people have a hard time being rude to a person simply being nice and thats all it takes.
It's interesting how when you stand in line at the same cafe over the course of months you'll occasionally observe a woman being extremely nice to the cashier: being upbeat, asking how they're doing, etc. When I was single I found that sooo attractive that it might warrant a compliment from me. (Always nice to find someone who passes the "polite-to-strangers test" right off the bat!) While a conversation about the menu might break the ice, it's so much easier to initiate conversation after you've observed a pleasant display of a person's character.
Courtney, I have a crush i’ve been trying to work up the nerve to ask out and you’ve been helping so much, thank you
When I was dating. I would approach a women I was interested in and say that my friends always make fun of me for how I dressed, and since I was a bit color blind it was hard for me to coordinate. I would then say you clearly know about fashion because you look really great in your outfit. Then ask her opinion of what colors would go well with me, styles etc. We would usually end up talking for 10-15 minutes. I would then tell her I had to get back to my friends and ask for her phone number so we could finish our conversation at a later date. It worked more times than it didn’t.
i drive to work by bus everyday and there is a girl that i like, we made an eye contact few times, she gave me that fast look and smiled, im introvert and it is really hard to me to start a conversation with anyone,+ ive been healing with my past relationship for last 8 years and i just dont want to get same bad feeling again, but also i dont want to live rest of my life alone, any advice?
Fight the fear of getting rejected or getting hurt again, a man shouldnt fear things like this and women smell it as Neediness immediately. But also dont forget to process your weaknesses as an introvert and work intensely on your weaknesses. That should boost up your appearance.
My final advice would be, if u see her again look at her and away, check if ur on her radar. When u see that she is looking at you, look back but deeply in her eyes for the second time, smile and look away OR stay until she is looking away. (But remember, dont stare 😁
Then u can approach her, just risk it mate✌🏽
Courtney, you are an absolute treasure. Thank you so much for being here for us all. Sending some love your way.😊
This is really good advice for just for starting conversations in general. I always love talking to people and do pretty well once we get going, but starting things up is the hard part haha.
I go to dog parks a lot.
I usually ask " is that a___?"
People love talking about their dogs.
Even if it's just a short interaction, it's practice.
I feel that this does help, Courtney. Thank you. As an introvert, I am never wanting to strike up a conversation with anyone fearing that I am wasting my time due to other priorities that I have in my life. Plus when people constantly strike up a conversation when I wear a sweatshirt with a Raising Cane’s on it, I tend to just get stimulated and eventually annoyed thinking that I like Cane’s though I don’t like it like I used to. This really enforced my belief that people bite. This is a reason why I don’t prefer small talk. I did not understand what you meant by reading the room. Can you elaborate a little more on that?
Don’t be afraid to approach a women even if you are going to be rejected,as a woman I respect man that express their feelings no matter the outcome
Reading the room means being aware of the situation.
Example; don't try to pick someboddy up when they stand crying at a murder scene. Just does not seem the best timing 😉
@@Lisa-zi6hb dude is introverte, it's difficult talking to men or women 😉
I do agree with your statement, and thank you for being supportif for this guy. 😁
Nice to see an encouraging video for men to approach women from a genuinely nice person (w/ specific example) during the era of mean gym girl vids.
Education on another level. Quality information. Thanks, Courtney.
Awesome list. Definitely putting a lot of these in my back pocket. You’re the best🙌🏻
Good one again Thanks! I am a bit of an introvert myself and may tend to over think things, also maybe a bit thinking about rejection. The Science of people is also good one with Vanessa. Thanks!
6:50, "And whatever you do, do not act ... hurt or aggressive over the fact that she doesn't want to talk to you." Excellent advice. There's no shortage of guys who don't follow it, which leads to why many women don't like being approached by men they don't know. Remember, guys, there may be a million reasons why a woman shies away from, ignores or shuts down your attempt to talk to them, and most of those reasons have nothing to do with you. But there are also plenty of women out there who would be happy to talk to you, so if one woman won't give you the time of day, politely excuse yourself (or just say nothing, if you prefer), leave her alone and find someone else to strike up a conversation with.
My friend and I used to play a game in high school that we called cards. Basically, one of us would see an attractive person out in public and tell the other person they had to go talk to them. Once they did, regardless of the outcome, the person who tried to initiate the conversation now had the cards and could tell the other person to talk to someone next time. We did all kinds of stupid things to try and start conversations, and surprisingly, they worked more frequently than you would think. Learning to initiate conversations with strangers was a valuable skill, but learning to take rejection, laugh about it, and do it again was like learning a superpower.
I think "unique" should be the operative word there when you're trying to compliment a girl because chances are, beautiful women will hear the same old generic compliments dozens of times a day. Really important to tailor the compliment so that it fits that particular girl instead of saying something that could apply to every other girl.
You are presenting these videos in a very mature manner. Thank you 😊
Good advice. I’ve found that making a comment about something happening “in the moment” that both are experiencing is good. If it goes somewhere, great. If not, you’ll still come across as a nice friendly person.
coming home from a stressful day at work and just hearing your soothing voice helped me relax :D
NOW THIS IS THE VIDEO IVE BEEN WAITING FOR!
Always good with the conversation but have ALWAYS struggled with the opening! Cuz for me, it has too be natural. I'm not about too roll up on ANYONE not just a girl, unless I have a viable reason too. (P.s something I need too/have been working on)
P.s.s I'm not sure if you are aware but I highly suggest you give, ques by Vanessa Van Edwards a read if you ever get the time. I think you will definitely find it insightful and interesting!
-have a good one
1. Ask for a suggestion...restaurant / specific food
2. situational comment...work out/ job/ school
3. Give a UNIQIUE complement... one complement only...
4. Flat out introduce yourself...cafe/ coffee shop/
5. Ask for her name... at gym/
6. Pay attention to details...at coffee shop
Bonus tip---> Read the room--/deal with ( crushing-joke) rejection
Lead with the ultimate opening line. The American Express Platinum Card
One way trip to Gold Digger town if you do that
Thank you immensely for helping a lot of us to get out of our comfort zone! The content you make really makes a difference
The more difficult thing is finding one worthy of talking to.
Right. I was thinking the same thing this entire video.
Just don't initiate thinking my future wife.
These are some great pointers, Courtney. I’ll definitely keep these in mind. In my experience, it’s hard to come across sources I can trust these days. Anyway, keep up the great work!
I experienced that last one on the train yesterday. She was short and kept looking back at her phone. Automatic X in the box for me! Moving on!
7:50 Just be confident, believe in yourself and go for it. Don't come across as shy and timid..... Yesss i wish it was that easy as just thinking of that and saying that to myself 🤨
Courtney Ryan Thank You So Much You Delivered On Your Promise. Thank You So Much Made My Weekend ❤ Your The Best. Ryan
I've tried that first one many times. I'm new to this town and I heard about this event and trying to locate it. That's a great way to get called a misogynist or get called a dummy and told just google it. Here in DC men are not supposed to start conversations with ladies unless they're like super Chad or something.
The only time I asked for a suggestion was like a Starbucks what is good to drink. Or a what is good to eat at a restaurant.
Hey courtney new to your channel and I have to say I am very impressed with your content. I've just recently viewed your other videos addressing the issues with modern dating. Could you make a video giving advice on how to stay motivated in regards to your dating life? I only ask because as fantastic and honest and open minded your content is. When you shed light on how modern dating is and the behavioural trends that some women follow. It's unfortunately had a negative effect on me in regards to motivation . As much as I'm glad I can confirm my assumptions on the dating climate. I now just feel demotivated to keep trying. It just all feels like so much more effort than it's honestly worth. I feel dating should ve a fun and relatively easy going experience (atleast in the early days). However because some women are holding us men to such a high standards. If we honestly are happy as who we are right now. Changing just feels inauthentic and alot more effort than it's honestly worth just to potentially maybe have more luck. Of course I agree with self improvement for yourself. But what if you genuinely are happy with who you are right now? Atleast excluding your love life?
As you can probably tell I'm lacking motivation myself lol. Therefore as an idea for a future video I hope you might consider this.
Much love from the. U.K 🏴
Best way to talk to women: Like a normal human being. Just talk to them and treat them as a person.
It's unreal how overpowered this advice is, yet people will not do it
I needed that last piece of advice about 50 years ago.
Hi Courtney and everyone, I am sober. I had a conversation with a woman at a coffee shop about ten years ago. Upstate New York. She asked me "Have you tried the Jamaican blend?" Me "No." Then I tried it. It was strong. 2015 Nashville Country Music Hall of Fame. One of the female employees :) had a sexy southern accent. We talked. She asked me why I was in Nashville. We talked. She suggested that I eat at a local spot. I miss Nashville. Many of the women were easy to have a conversation with. Currently I'm in Rochester, New York :(. Many of the women can be closed off.
Courtney's voice, overall demeanor, and femininity are so pleasant and incredibly rare among today's modern women.
I would say that although asking suggestions can be good, be careful as women like to have choice, but not too much pressure in choosing from too many options.
In my experience women prefer dates to be mostly planned by men, but find the balance of letting her be without stress and, let her feel empowered by choice and present options that can best show show that you listen to her
Best way to talk to women, I'm a millionaire.
1. Ask for her suggestion
-many people like to give their opinions
-what is your favorite place to eat around here
-my first time here, would you go for (this entree) or (that entree)?
-I'm new here, what are YOUR go-to food spots?
2. A situational comment
-making a comment about a situation you're BOTH presently in
-workout related, college class related...
3. Give a UNIQUE compliment
-must be clean, no sexual/innuendo talk
-ONE compliment will suffice
-try to avoid compliments on her physical appearance
-something genuine and unique that other guys haven't tried on her
4. Introduce yourself
-Don't overthink it
-Hi, I don't think we've met before, I'm (your name)
-Hi, I'm here often and don't believe I've seen you before, I'm (your name)
5. Ask for her name
-Hi, I hate to interrupt but I feel I can't leave without knowing your name
-Don't overthink these approaches
-pick-up lines and odd approaches aren't advised
6. Pay attention to details
-find a detail presently in your environment and make a conversation about it
-Hi, I see you're reading (title), I've been thinking of reading that too, is it good?
-Hi, I like (the topic on her T-shirt) too! What (subtopic) do you like most about it?
Bonus: When starting a conversation with a stranger, READ THE ROOM!
-if she's indifferent/annoyed with you, don't force it, politely bid farewell and
DO NOT lose your cool with her. Praise yourself for stepping up to the plate.
-ALL conversations are useful practice, don't consider them pass/fail
-everyone can use conversations to brush up on social skills
-try not to overthink, minimize hesitation, try to put any shyness on the back burner
-remember-you miss 100% of the shots you never take, and the shots you miss will make you better.
What works for me is, "Which Halo is your fav? Halo 1, 2, or 3?"
I'm a happily married man now. I will say something that I had a lot of success with was making sarcastic observational statements, sometimes about the environment, sometimes about them. But it was always in good fun nothing particularly mean.
The pick up line I know men like to use is so common is "This is totally random." Women will respect you more for trying instead of just staring at her across the room, not approaching, able to handle reject, and be respectful about it.
It's just showing awareness ---We're acknowledging that we're invading your space and this probably doesn't happen often, but we're here to do it anyway :)
I can tell you right now that most men like compliments 100x more than women do because we receive them way less often! The last compliment I got was on July 10th, 2016 and I hold it near and dear to my heart. (jk obviously)
I don't think I ever remember receiving a compliment from a woman. At least you got one...
Guys don’t give up. Nice, classy women do exist. Courtney is proof of that.
You want me to introduce myself as Courtney? But my name's John.
By the way, this only works if you're beautiful/handsome. When someone ugly like me asks a question, I never get past excuse me, before she interrupts with, I have a boyfriend.
And men can NEVER give a compliment without sounding creepy.
Courtney do you have more ideas? Your videos keep coming with new ideas and I appreciate them. Also Can you perhaps mock a date with a guy how it would go to show when it goes good and when it doesn't for a video? Thanks
1 Ask for suggestions
2 Situational comment
3 unique natural compliment
4 introduce yourself
5 ask for her name
6 pay attention to detail
"I like your boots" is a go-to compliment.
Finally! A video I waited 27 years for. Well..., I kinda wanted it to be about approaching, but this will do.
Hope it helps ❤️
@@CourtneyRyan I think it did. Thanks.
I do love compliments, especially the unspoken ones like when a woman touches your shoulder, because she can tell you don't need shoulder pads in a coat
Ngl Courtney the unique compliment really does work. Ive been smiling more and once in a while I see a girl with a really pretty smile to smile back. I will say you have such a beautiful smile it really brightens their day a lot more and have been talked to more. Will definitely need to try the name one it sounds really nice and genuine one of my goals has been good communication since I know it helps in my job and talking with clients so trying to be more open and talk to people has really helped
You are so kind Courtney!
I have a comment- Courtney I like the clothes you wear. You have a good sense of style and colors.
@DM.Courtney_RyanGAW. what is my prize?