Escaped Convict Caught! - Misplaced Male Confidence - Josh Johnson - Comedy Cellar - Standup Comedy
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- Опубликовано: 7 фев 2025
- Come see me live:
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Check out joshjohnsoncom... for more dates!
Hey Friends, wanted to share my set from the other night at the Comedy Cellar. Share your thoughts with me in the comments.
If you love my stories I have a podcast that comes out every week: bit.ly/3NQmpio
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Drop a comment if you loved or hated the set, and especially if you're unsure. Subscribe for more. Thanks for being my friends!
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Hi Friends!! We’re almost at 100k subscribers!! Thank you all so much for supporting me!! Hope you enjoy this video and just a reminder about my shows in Chicago and Brooklyn coming up!! Go to my site for tickets
I m in South Africa,hope one day you come through,will definitely bring my whole family to your show.
It's a damn shame you're not past a million. You are beyond brilliant. I feel like I think a thought and you spit it out verbatim how it's in my head on stage. Delightfully creepy!
Canadian fan here: I'm about to get aggressive...
Unless I just haven't found the information - in which case I apologize profusely - I am PISSED...
That I still don't see a link where we can just send you a few bucks personally (other than subbing to your Patreon)!!
I don't know what a ticket to The Cellar costs, but I owe you at LEAST that much by now.
You're one of the most entertaining and witty comedians in the game right now, and I get to see so much of it for free on RUclips?! Doesn't sound fair to me...
P.S. Sorry for getting so aggressive 🇨🇦❤️🇺🇲
I love you so much, Josh!! You're too funny & so brilliant!! 👏🏼💯💖
Love your delivery and laid back attitude. As someone also born and raised in Louisiana, hope there are big things for you!!! This "backwoods kid" is rooting for you!!! Go, Josh!! Go!! ❤
I love how in his description of the fugitive, the guy gets progressively smaller and smaller 😂
😂😂😂
Watch the whole vid just to see how small he ended, off this comment.. Accurate
It's like the opposite of a tall tale. Like the reverse Paul Bunion.
Went from the dog had his whole head in his mouth to him hiding between 2 blades of grass 😂
Now that you pointed it out, I’m laughing even harder.
Bruh that scream response to “he was in my parents’ back yard”, fucking mood. Y’all know you’d have the same reaction if you saw a man had escaped from prison nearby and then SAW A STRANGER IN YOUR BACK YARD!
I almost peed myself laughing at that reaction 😂
That part seriously cracked me up too 😂 --but dude! There was this escaped murderer that people were looking for. I think he escaped in a different state and he had murdered at least a few people--like a serial killer or something. I just kept seeing his face on the news, cuz they kept talking about it and I didn't think much of it. Then, later, some guy messaged me on grindr and was all being like, "What's up?" "You want to hang out?" and I looked to see who was messaging me and I was like @_@ It looked like him and I was like, wtf?! So, I didn't respond and then googled the news story and it seriously looked like this serial killer dude... He messaged again and was like, "Look, I'm just down on my luck right now and need a place to stay for the night... Is that cool?" and I didn't respond LOL! and then he went "Can I come over right now?" I still didn't respond...
I thought I was just being paranoid, because the prison wasn't even near where I live.. I seriously think it was in the next state over or something, but I wasn't taking any chances.... Three days later, he was caught in my city... It was him the whole time, trying to get me to let him come over.... 😳 That creeped me the hell out.. like getting goosebumps and chills when I found out he really was in my town.
@@Taricusoh my gosh calm down man 😅
How would he have had a phone?
Plus if he's been away for that long, his account would have been deactivated.
Also this is just a pet peeve but can ppl just reply to messages out of common decency pls? Just politely say you're not interested rather than reading and ignoring their messages.
@@TCt83067695 it's easy to get a phone. He also escaped with someone else. He can make a new account. and nah, i'm not required to respond to a serial killer lol or to anyone for that matter. especially if their initial message isn't hello....
Lmaooooooo both the audience’s + Josh’s reaction to that had me on the floor laughing, incredible set
“Was he in between two blades of grass?” 😂😂😂
I choked 😂
This alone put Josh on this guys hitlist for the next escape from prison
🤗🤗🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
"He little, and he was here.' - there's your one sentence horror story 😂
😂😂😂
“He was in the my parents’ back yard”
WHAT ARE THE CHANCES
He was caught a little over half mile from my home
I mean from where he escape from the chances are pretty high. Unless you mean what are the chances that she was in the audience and was connected to the incident, then chances are definitely smaller.
i think one of them is a rapper or something
Six degrees of separation.
Makes sense.
"he was in your parent's baCK YAAAAARDD?!!?!?!" got me so weak
THE SCREAM THAT HE SCRUMPT 💀
SCRUMT! 😂dead
HA!!! I’m so mad at you right now. I had to look at your profile because of the SCRUMPT. Is SCRUMPT the past tense of scream? If so, I’m really mad at you I was not expecting that. 😂, ❤it,😊
🍋
😅😅
The way Josh said "little". 😂😂 The prisoner is 5ft, 120 pounds. "Little" is accurate AF.
I could punt this dude to Jupiter 😂
I am 5 ft and this is devastating to me
@@monishaaraj6614you’re also not a prisoner
@@monishaaraj6614 why? because that's news to you?
I'm 5'2 and I've only met one adult male who is shorter than me. Ironically enough, he was my HS's quarterback (we weren't good) 😅
"Just to make the story feel full" is such a great hidden gem of a line, had me dying!
His throw away lines are golden.
@@SeeStuDotrue, this shows how smart he is .
Idk I was like ok I get it he short ... anything else?
11:39
Can you explain? I don't get it 😭
Dude, that convict was close to every fucking location I was at in the duration of his escape. Every day they’d update the location, it’s where my job was sending me. Like yup, today is the day I die 😂
your job was in on it
He in the back of your car 😭💀
Did they carry insurance on you?🤔
Glad you lived to tell the tale. 😊
Love is a beautiful thing😢😂
YOU HAVE TO keep this “in the news” stand up going because it is like nothing out there. You comin with new shit every time and WE LOVE IT!!!!
Yesss totally agree!!
wheres waldo with ur life on the line! dont f up!
Yesss!!! I love how he tells stories!
Yasssssss
For real.
Storytelling is a lost art. This guy is a GREAT storyteller. Funny too.
he reminds me of Ron Shock who was also a great storyteller!
Too funny 😂
He really is ❤
Him backing up trembling then screaming at 2:30 almost killed me 😭😭🤣🤣 it was so accurate for the new information
“Let me tell them…OOOH”
Legit heebeejeebies
Never heard this man raise his voice like that, took me out 😂
@@LuckyBones77😅😅
Josh is always on point. The constant little jokes had me dying
It was a little rapid fire 😂
"He little."
Absolutely correct! He's too quick for me sometimes, and I have to back it up and rewatch
You mean 'little convict' jokes?! Had me rolling!
Omg I was in tears, it was sooo funny!!
Josh, look up the escaped prisoner in STL. Dude got the 2 guards to take him to the hospital... no handcuffs... no shackles... one of the guards went to use the restroom ... and the other guard FELL ASLEEP.
He was out for over 8 hours...
😂😂😂
So THEIR short man dissing made THEM lax.
@@ekdaufin1485 no.
It was a guy that escaped.
I never said he was short
Someone (2 people) need new employment opportunities
I'm 4'9½ and I always felt like it would be a bit easier for me to evade the po simply for my ability to hide. I'd still be caught for sure, but it might take them longer. Hiding in weird places has saved my life numerous times. I live in the south with aggressive crazy men so you have to run and hide sometimes.
Understood, & sorry you've had to live that life, but yeah as someone used to being "invisible" to many, I can relate. Stay strong, & remember small is mighty!💪
@@rushfan1970 Thank you! It's all good. I get some great stories to tell my grandcats. There is a great saying of : I'm delicate. . . like a bomb, not a flower. It also helps to be raised by veterans of war and red heads. Takes me a while to snap but when I do. . . . . I've taken out college football players, and not out on a date! I'm far less wild now and running and hiding is now my go to now. Being "invisible" can be a great boon! You get to hear everything! No one has more information about everything, then the invisible people. Information has more value then almost anything. I hope you have a wonderful day/evening!
What's the craziest place you've hidden in? My 4'10 bestfriend got in the damn DRYER once and my soul left my body when she popped out!
My gf fits in suitcases and clothes hampers. And thats not something you wanna find out after a double into a graveyard shift. She hopped in a box for a tall stepping stool once you think i would learn but the intervals she pulls pranks... i just live waiting for her to pop out... I'm convinced she was created by the personification of DEMON TIME sent here to torment me! 😅
@@Kagome12987 Thank you, you are just amazing, thank you!!💖💪🤟🏼✌🏼
I love that he had that one last "OH" to let out when he heard the girl in the crowd saying the convict was in her parents' backyard. He was so overwhelmed he couldn't let it all out at once lol. Fr we'd all have the same reaction, that's some scary shit lol
He handles interruptions FLAWLESSLY
Man, bro out here dropping brand new quality material every other night.
Right!!
His special bout to be 2 days long
Facts! I’m convinced he just has a comedy club in his house! lol
For real. Is he on tour or something. I constantly see content from him.
For anyone curious, he's about 5 feet tall. My height, to give extraneous details. This dude is my height. And lemme say we can be fast and elusive. One time I won a game of hide and seek by hiding in some ferns
" we can be fast and elusive" 😂😂
I almost thought you were talking about Josh 😭😂
Reminds me how clever I felt when, during hide and seek, I hid under the table but back enough so I wasn't visible when you go by and it worked!
🤣🤣 Chucky!! lol
😂😅
That smile is contagious
Josh is becoming my favorite comedian. 😂
Fax 😂 since his debut, his delivery has me rolling every time
Oh my god SAME!!
Same here!!!
Liked him before he was cool
💯💯
Josh has now replaced my evening news hour.
You mean your evening propaganda hour? 😂 If you willingly watch the news in 2023 where we know for a fact the news is propaganda, that’s wild. You’re a rare breed tbh
ikr
Exactly 😂😂😂
Frfr‼️🤣🤣🤣
Josh is now how I get my news and it's what I've been missing in my life. Pirate tries to set a tourist on fire in San Francisco... see Josh for details. 🤣
Josh could pull up on me on a busted bike, and I'd be leaving with him on his handlebars. Nothing beats cute AND gut-splittingly hilarious. Idc. 😂
Right! He is a cutey!!
@katelynbrown3404 cone sorbet is really weird. Lol. And don't get me me started on that man's SMILE! 😫
Me too!! Present 👋❤😂
Same..if there’s a 6’3 dude with a million dollar and Josh…I’d still choose Josh.. he’s my comfort human 😭
I'm a guy and I agree, his smile is the best
Every time he says 'he little' the funnier it gets. F*ckin' hilarious.
2:28 The response to “he was in my parents’ backyard” is AMAZING.
If you like comedians thinking on their feet, check out Sammy Obeid ;-)
“Don’t go on your run because he could be In your pants leg when you return…” is… about the best excuse I have heard for not exercising 😅😂🤣
That he incorporated an audience comment into the story without loosing a beat ir momentum. . .Josh Johnson is just outstanding.
Never seen anyone come up with soo much consistent content over and over. Been bingeing your channel for a week and nowhere near done. You’re gonna be the next big thing
The way you said IN YOUR PARENTS BACK YAAARRRDDD😂😂😂😂
1:08 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 the little killer walk 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Bro idk if you remember me, my name is Daniel Johnson my first name is Henry but we used to hang out in high-school with Jacob Menache, riding around in that red Toyota Corolla. With Jacon and Mali. in Alexandria Louisiana. It's so cool to see you up there bro. Keep killing it much love! Proud of you bro bro.
I have two German Shepherds that I bought from a police and military breeder. Believe me, catching a little person on the run would be the Super Bowl for them. They would enjoy that way too much.
I mean I have a French Bulldog and she LOVES kid, cyclists, runners, anyone going fast. She would have a field-day chasing a short guy on the run and she's in no way trained or even remotely obedient lol.
Josh should be famous famous, this is a definition of underrated, dude just woke up and decided to drop 10 hours of material in 10 minute clips
When he screamed and backed up when he said "they was in your parents backyard?!?!?" Lol oh my goodness ... I am absolutely bingewatching these I can't believe like how greatful I should be and am like basically this happened on the other side of the world and like I get to enjoy it ! Thank-you so much for uploading !!!! This feels to good to be free lol
The confidence... it never fails to shock 😂
homicidal thumbelina out there in these ppl’s backyard and they’re like Oh The Doors Are Locked MF HE’S LITTLE HE CAN GO THROUGH THE KEYHOLE GET UR SHIT TOGETHER
"homicidal thumbelina"🤣🤣🤣
😂
This killed me almost as much as Josh’s set about the guy. God that was some funny shit
😂😂😂
😂😂😂 The scream is exactly how I felt when she said that. That is exactly how I would scream if I saw him in my backyard🤣
'Confidence is not a meritocracy.' Absolutely epic line.
Last week my Uber driver and I talked about how funny you are... Keep kickin' ass, Josh... SO great.
I’ve honestly come to believe that you should be the host of the daily show. You’ve gotten that good!
Yes!!
OH WHAT . . . 💥🔥⭐️
Yessss!
That would be a waste of his talent
Huh? The Daily show is nowhere near this quality. I want him to get Daily show bags though.
Josh has the best smile
JOSH!!!!! That reaction was EVERYTHING!!!!
I have never seen or heard him so Excited
There’s nothing like someone randomly being able to validate one of your crazy unbelievable stories 2:32 😂
This reminds me of when I was an autistic child in Florida public school in the 1990’s and lost patience for it around age 8, I was constantly trying to escape just to aimlessly wander the streets, I painstakingly destroyed a section of chain link fence by stealing one piece of wire tying it together every day at recess until there was a hole in it big enough for me to fit through when nobody was looking, and it didn’t take long, because I was little
this man genuinely might be my new favorite comedian
You make me wonder what you were like as a little boy. Were you able to get away with things with your humor? Your storytelling skills are great! Your facial expressions, hand gestures, just everything, makes me, literally, laugh out loud. You are truly a bright spot in my day. 🤣🤣🤣❤
Hey Josh I hope you see this, Ive been a fan for a while and I just realized how far your confidence seemed to have boosted. I hope you can be proud of yourself for getting to where you are! Youre my favorite comedian and I hope things are going well for you!
Peace and love from North Carolina ☮️✌🏻
to me, this audience interaction explains Josh so much
Josh you have become one of my favourite comedians. I just think you are hilarious! Can’t wait to see you live.
The description of the dogs' excitement sent me!
LOLOLOLOL, imagine the cops coming to your house and your like "yeah we havent seen no murderer but theres like this weird doll someone threw out back." Her parents werent scared, just went and put the child locks and baby proofing stuff around the house.
😂😂😂 G-sus Josh! The confidence it took to attempt that pivot from the escaped convict to Leroy the Lothario! Man, keep bringing these hits!
That hand was the most honest gesture I've ever seen
I've never seen a comedian be soooo excited about an audience member speaking up about a topic being talked about. 😂
Good recovery as woman in audience stole your story line ❤
Can you imagine having to sit on a "he was in my parents backyard" info??? We'd all do the same fr. He handled it perfectly too
Ya, I can't blame her for speaking up about it. Idk if I could have held that in, and I'm super annoyed when audience members try to pitch in
The walking part lol 🐤
and the manhunt dogs reaction ❤
🚲, love your range of comedy.
Josh is how I stay up to date on current events. This man kills it!
Josh is literally writing and delivery fully fleshed performances in real time. all hits no misses.
I've watched this and memorized it. Josh has entered the pantheon along with Katt Williams and John Mullaney
Just such a genuine comedic energy. You must be great live, because it feels like you really invite the audience in to what you're saying.
one of the best and smartest story telling comics around.
The Daily Show is blessed to have you as a writer.
between the informant and the little murderer 😂 😂 😂
Ngl, it kinda reminds me of the Boston bomber being found hiding in a boat in some guy's backyard because was also a smaller dude (and only a mile from my house, but at least 20 minutes given traffic time, which still wasn't reassuring during a lock down).
What always amazed me about that was that the cops told the WHOLE city to go inside.... And y'all just.... went inside. Can you imagine that working in Providence or Philly? It's like y'all were like, 'nah, fam, we remember the revolution - we're gonna go ahead and sit tight for a minute while these cops do what they need to do. '
@@CatyBee Lol, I think some of the timing helped it, too. The marathon was on Monday, we spent 3 panicked days talking about nothing else, and then the lock down happened first thing Friday when we all needed a break. I knew at least a few people who just went to work anyway, but I think it would have been different had the weather been nice or if it was already the weekend. And I'm not sure about Providence, but I imagine Philly would have just joined in the search haha
I went through the same emotion drop where I was kinda rooting for him and then I heard what he did. Really took the fun shawshank vibe away. He was on the run for a while too. The most terrible people always got the best luck lol.
9:50 Josh called out all the raggedy ninjas in the world😂😂😂 to all the Leroys out there with broken bike chains… thanks for existing! Josh is using y’all life stories as great content for us😂😂😂😂😂❤
“He little.” Is gonna be in all the times that guy gets roasted forever
Hands down one of Josh's best shows. No doubt!
He is the prettiest boy man child ever! I absolutely adore his wit, and how he pulls his stories together 🎉🎉🎉❤
He needs to be on the daily show! He's always on top of the news and always entertaining!
He's already on the Daily Show 🤷🏽♀️ . Where have You been 🤔 ? #RealTalk
@divineorder7695 😂
Man, check the comment date! I clearly tapped into their recruiting process! 😂
@@sarimira: IKR 😅 . Bcuz he's been on the Daily Show close to a few years now 😊.
@@divineorder7695 🤔🤔🤔
A quick look into Wikipedia yields: "Since 2017, he has been a writer for The Daily Show,[1] where he made his debut as an on-air correspondent in 2024."
So, I guess you're right, partially! I didn't know he was a writer, but he also wasn't a correspondent until after I made the comment 😉
I followed this story for weeks with my friends. Teenie houdini. It was so funny, but it really isn’t. It was just so hilarious and so many jokes to be made. They found out he changed his shoes. I mean, the set ups! 😂😂
As a short king i do admit we gotta Naruto run just to catch up with tall people 😂😂😂
Honestly I think this might be my favorite bit of yours. I replayed your scream about 50 times.
I love it when Josh can't keep a straight face. 😊
Josh Johnson you bring a HUGE smile to my face - I love what you do - you are unique and utterly amazing.
Always hilarious! I love to see him laugh at his own jokes. Great smile!
My dude.... I love your frigging segue lol. You're absolutely hilarious
Bro I love seeing how you have evolved. Stage presence,confidence and overall presence on 100 bruh. The little murderer noise you make killed me lol
Josh never disappoints getting funnier all the time
We use to climb the walls in my grams hallway the way that escapee did. She would come around the corner my cousins and i would all be up near the ceiling lmao
We used to _try_ to do that when I was a kid, but core muscles were not strong in my household.😂😂
My sister used to climb the doorjamb in our house and sit up towards the top with her legs stretched across to keep herself up. She did it at our babysitters house too, which drove our sitter crazy. We used to say she was climbing the walls 😂 That video brought back memories!
Oh can’t wait! My favorite comedian on a very, very local subject. Yippee!
This is really funny. I live in Pennsylvania and apparently my uncle (alcoholic and isolated but not a bad dude; it's more like he married early, had a divorce, and it went downhill from there,) called my mom, normaly a thing he does once a year on her birthday, to make sure she was okay. He wasn't, in fact, near either of us. But it's sweet that he checked.
⭐️ This Is A Timeless Masterpiece ⭐️
I love the jilted segue 😂😂😂
"Confidence is not a meritocracy." 🤯
We really think it is some days though!❤ *Kardashians and other celebrities...
My 2nd favorite lesbian stand up comic. Seriously though man I think you deserve more attention than Matt Riffe and many others. Great personality and you seem very genuine.
Not 2nd Favorite 😂😂😂
@@NikkiRichNYCwhose the first??😆
@@Givebackthescarf I'm not reading all that because I made a joke about a stand up comic that I really like and respect. I made a joke about a stand up comic. Do you not watch a lot of comedy? It had nothing to do with race or anything else so please stop trying to make it that. It's not. You need help. You are racist for trying to make it about race.
@@Givebackthescarf Thats also not even just a white thing. Many people joke like that. You really need to rethink some things if you see everything generalized by someone's race, especially just white people.
Omg when that lady said he was in her parents backyard, Josh literally screamed 🤣🤣🤣🤣
It's almost scary how good this guy is.
2:39
I love that “ooo” he gives. I love Josh Johnson
I haven't laughed as hard as I did when you said "the chain broke" since April. My stomach hurts. I fuckin needed that. Thank you.
November 7 2024, anyone else binge watching comedy trying to move on into this darkness?
Love Josh!
Can't think of another person as deserving of success as this guy. He's always got a new set online and he's funny as hell without being offensive to anybody. And he's so damn cute (but I'm 70 and all guys under the age of 50 are cute, so don't go by me)!
WTF is wrong with Netflix that they haven't given him special already?
Josh's ability to be funny talking about anything is amazing. Definitely my favorite comedian right now
“ he little”
Awesome🏃♂️
Damn, I just discovered you a few months ago and I think you are amazing. You are such a talented comedian.
Josh, thanks for another gem! I love seeing a fellow Louisiana expat doing good! Hopefully see you in Seattle soon!
You are so funny!!! I saw you on the Daily Show and laughed so hard!! Your delivery is amazing. 😂😂😂😂🎉
I keep watching this! News stories and over confident men stories should have big segments of a show. ALWAYS masterfully told. 😂