"I don't know why I'm answering this guy so seriously he's obviously a troll" He says, after responding seriously several times to Doug's questions about assault with a deadly breast.
TLDR: Doug loses money by forcing a lawyer who is also a cop to play Tetris and then spends the rest of the stream trying to convince the attorney-policeman to shoot him with his gun that he doesn’t actually have with him
Parkzer is like a master of everything, but describes himself as only "above average" and constantly belittles his own skills and accomplishments. This responsible gun owning, black belt martial artist, multilingual, tetris professional, typing prodigy, legal master attorney, gun enthusiast police officer-doctor hybrid is one of my favorite collabs with the bell pepper man.
Love how at 25:20 Parkzer shuts down doug’s ear question so quickly that he has to immediately bail on the victory music & only the first half of the first note gets out
I seriously can't believe that's all it would take for Parkzer to kill you. You'd think someone who went through both medical and law school would have more self restraint.
i genuinely think this is one of the only times i've seen parkzer hear something doug says and then went "wait, repeat that, that's actually a good question" because it was a genuine challenge to his thinking process and i think parkzer really enjoyed that
Same, I was trying to get some work done but kept constantly getting distracted. It was worth it though, for the best police-lawyer-doctor I've ever known
Currently in jail, but I just sent this video to my attorney, hoping he can help me out now that he's got advice from the world's best Lawyer Cop. I really think I'm innocent after shooting an evil moustache man falling out of an airplane without a parachute, begging to be shot, as he's breastfeeding, and if I didn't shoot him, he'd land on the train tracks in Idaho
As a wittness to this incident, you forgot to mention that behind you evil mustache man from the future also held your family hostage and was milking them on a gunrange.
The true question to be asked is : If a train were racing full speed toward 5 people, and the only way to make it stop was to drink all passengers breast milk, would he drink the milk before, or after shooting the 5 people in the head ?
The takeaway I get from this is that Parkzer is in charge of the executive, legislative and judicial branches of the government, and is also the inventor of guns.
Right? DougDoug, a non-gun owner, insinuating that he would shoot a guy for drinking skim milk without paying for it and a gun owner, who is taught gun safety, saying that that's a ridiculous reason to shoot a guy xD
parkser subtly claiming he has a more refined sense of humor compared to doug, then slowly be broken down into laughing at the fart sound effects is probably my favorite part of the video
39:40 I like how Parkster prioritizes correcting Doug that he's not a cop instead of pointing out he would not shoot anyone. The commitment...what a real cop.
Did the math, it would take about 1,058,695 bullets to stop a 195,000 kg train going 15.277 m/s with a 0.00804 kg 9mm pistol round going at muzzle velocity(350m/s). So Parkzer is wrong, if we all put our dog cheese up for sale, we could raise enough money to buy over a million bullets to stop a train from rolling over our side character, Doug.
lets us assume that we buy the cheapest ammo weighing that amount (9mm - 115 Grain FMJ - Wolf Performance) costs 200$ for a 1000 bullets. we would need 1058.695 packets of 1000 bullets, lets make that 1059 for safety purposes, it would cost us 211,800$ we could bargain it down to 200,000$ for a order of such volume. next we have to fullfill the issue that we have to shoot them all at once at same second, either we would require 1.06 million pistols or have a contraption which would fire them all at once. The current greatest is the Metal storm which could *drumroll please* SHOOT 16,000 BULLETS A MINUTE! it was originally made for 7.62mm bullets however our special case could allow us to ask them to make a special prototype, So, we currently have 2 Plans, Plan A or Plan B Plan A : 1.06 million guns Plan B : 100 metal storms ( however this plan would take multiple years to finish, so we can eliminate it.) So continuing with Plan A, it would cost us around 500$ for a used 9mm pistol So that would just cost us a chill 5.03 million dollars ( small amount) We would probably need to buy a train to even fullfill this mission (we could probably attack a commercial train however it is not advisable) and according to your calculations, the train is moving at a velocity of 56 km/h The cheapest i could find was the DB Class V60 at that speed costing 250,000 Deutsche Marks (in 1960) which was 62,500$ (in 1960) which adjusted to inflation is 615,000$ we would also need to factor in the taxes, diesel, track renting amount, the permits, cost to travel to a secluded area with 1.06 million pistols with 1.06 million pistols (cost for cargo tickets, plane fuel,etc.) then we also have to factor if 1.06 million people are shooting the gun (possible with dougs subscribers) or if we are going to build a contraption to make them shoot all at once. however I dont have enough time, so i leave that task to YOU! the reader please do not ignore this, atleast type a hooray or something for my efforts :,( so the gross amount without calculating the extra costs would be *drumroll again please* is *6.905 million dollars* or 7 million if you want to round off. So, to conclude if all of dougs 3 million subscribers donate like 2 and half dollars, we could in theory possibly do it. TLDR; it costs 7 million dollars (excluding many other costs) to execute the plan if all of dougs 3 million subscribers contributed 2.5 dollars also please reply with a hooray or something if you read the whole thing :)
this was one of the funniest streams in recent memory like the absolutely UNHINGED straight man and wise guy comedy duo energy between parkzer and dougdoug is absolutely delightful
Parkzer's actually correct with the speed limit part. Many of the DMV handbooks and driving teachers will recommend you to drive at what is safe for traffic, even if it violates speed limit.
except the speed limit in the US is often too high to be safe to begin with and this is one of the reasons why the US had the most deaths by car accident per capita
"You can fill in the gaps with breast milk" is perhaps the best sentence I've ever heard in my life. Edit: Ok I take it back, "You can milk my family all you want, that is not a life threatening offer" is the best sentence.
This is genuinely the best Straight Man & Wise Guy duo I've seen since Abbott and Costello. Absolutely incredible stuff, please bring him back for more!
18:44 I don't know if this eventually got brought up but even if the train did have an obscene amount of momentum (which it does) enough bullets could technically stop it, because each one reduces it by some amount. However, the reason that the bullets wouldn't actually be able to stop the train (unless you fired them like all at once) is because the train has an engine which produces more energy that goes into keeping the train going forward than the bullets can impart into it to stop it
There's one problem, if the bullets are strong enough they could just destroy the train. Destroyed train ≠ stopped train. Now if we had something like a mini gun shooting incredibly weak bullets incredibly quickly, maybe we could do it.
@@Kobolds_in_a_trenchcoat Clearly the solution is to shoot bullets made of beast milk. They still have momentum, but won't destroy the train. Alternatively, give the train warm breast milk and sing it a lullaby to make it fall asleep, stopping it without any bullets at all.
Why did I put this off for so long, thinking "eh I don't really care about guns". This was brilliant, Doug's chaotic energy gets brick-walled by Parkzer's down-to-earthness. 😂
These two make such great duo they should get a Sitcom: "Doug & Parkzer- Streamer and Cop Lawyer" the laughtrack is already there so 90% of the work is done.
I will miss chat and Doug teasing Parkzer for being a lawyer or cop (he's neither) and him denying it every time. It was a good bit. I'm sure we'll find Parkzer, the manager of a Wallmart, a new job title.
This is unironically the funniest video ever. I put this on the background and ended up getting really invested at how Parkzer is so insistent in not shooting Doug and how he is seemingly not sick of saying that he’s not a lawyer nor a police officer.
It wasn't until NEARLY SIXTEEN MINUTES into the video I recognize that Doug is simply harassing this poor man and that I love him for it while still feeling bad for Parkzer but I mean it's kind of his own fault for agreeing to join Doug I mean really. Harass away, DougDoug.
wtf is wrong here. it's just how bros usually talk. if i say "hey man, would you allow me to fuck your sister, if that was the only thing that could save me from cancer?" that's not a harassment
The success music that starts happening around 25:05 is why I love Doug. Doug's super silly humor with Twitch chat contrasting Parkzer's serious, rational responses was the funniest thing ever. Loved this.
I love the juxtaposition between these two and the humor that is coming from ONE person in chat getting extremely pissed off by the joke to the point that they say, "I'm considering reporting this." *Chef's kiss*
But he did say that he doesn't just follow laws because breaking them would land him in legal trouble, but because he sees laws as guidelines that are there for a reason.
Thanks to the two of you, I have finally solved the train dilemma after 30+ years of life. Thank you, Doug. I wouldn't have expected you to be the source of this inspiration _at all_ , but then again, you _do_ solve problems that no one has. Professionally.
19:05 a magazine stores rounds in preparation for firing, a clip loads rounds into internal magazines (most commonly found on older firearms). Most modern firearms have external magazines. Also automatic firearms can have magazines or clips. Fire selection (automatic vs semi automatic) doesn't influence whether a firearm has a clip or magazine
@@beastongaming1866 yeah they even mention jack at some point in this video, pretty sure they’re different people. especially since jack was only a lawyer and parkzer is a lawyer, police officer and doctor
32:16 - the "twitch chat controls the gun" thing is so crazy to think about. i want that on a movie or tv show or something. i mean, the record would be right there. whoever types "shoot" would be on the log. ...and would anybody actually do it? surely somebody would do it, but if you knew/thought the gun would actually go off, would somebody actually do it? gah - my head.
I love these twos friendship because Doug and Parkzer couldn't be more of like... Opposites if they tried. Parkzer is this logical upright lawyer cop who follows rules and keeps things orderly. And Doug is a madman who regularly fights the Alphabet while chugging Olive Oil.
A clip holds bullets on a metal slide piece (ie: strip). A magazine (aka mag) holds bullets in a container with a spring, it feeds bullets towards the top of the mag. this enables the bullets to be picked up by the bolt carrying group. There are box mags, and cylindrical mags. As for most machine guns, they are belt fed. For belt fed weapons, bullets are placed on a bandolier with links allowing the weapon to essentially pull through a feed tray allowing the weapon to cycle.
If Doug went skydiving without a parachute and was about to land on Parkzer, but if Parkzer pulled out his gun and shot Doug he would be able to divert his fall so Doug wouldn't hit him, would Parkzer shoot Doug?
One of the most common locomotives in the US, the GE ES44AC, has a kinetic energy of approximately 1,309,389,044 Joules when moving near its top speed. A 9mm bullet has an average kinetic energy of approximately 605 joules. Based on my very brief, very dirty calculations, it would take around 2,164,279.412 9mm bullets to stop the train.
I really appreciate the level of professionalism parkzer replies with to every one of Doug and chat's absolutely bonkers ridiculous questions. Parkzer is my favorite addition to the Dougdoug cinematic universe
Doug: "Parkzer, would you shoot a guy if he was breast feeding in public?" Parkzer: "What? No!" Doug: "Guys, Parkzer is the most responsible gun owner I know!" Gotta say Doug, the standard you have for somebody being a "responsible gun owner" makes me really happy that you don't have a gun!
The question about twitch chat controlling a gun via chat is unironically a legitimately fascinating hypothetical, as a law student. My first impulse is to assume chat would be liable, assuming they're fully aware that the gun will fire
but in that situation, doug set up a gun also knowing it would fire at him, right, so would he be partially liable too? also would it just be everyone in chat who typed "shoot", since there's no way of telling which message was the trigger? related, if a few thousand people tried to shoot a gun at someone simultaneously and all of them missed but one and there was also no way of telling which gun the bullet came from, are they all charged with murder?
The most underrated part of this video is how Parkzer answering the heart-bomb question implies, based off his earlier deflections, that the heart-bomb scenario is a realistic possibility in his mind.
Translation on Parkzer's Behalf: I do not see the law as just a list to prevent crimes, but also as a general guide of ethics. Some parts of the guide are often ignored, such as the Georgia law that states that no one can put ice cream in their back pocket on Sundays to prevent horse theft, or how in California, you can't eat a frog that died from a frog-jumping competition, or in Arizona, you can't put a donkey in a bathtub. Driving above the speed limit is technically illegal, but it is not enforced unless you drive much faster than the speed limit. This is why I see the law as a suggestion, and not just a set of rules, although it's technically both depending on the law. Wow, that Police Officer Attorney, Parkzer, sure has a way with words!
![Felix "Unfair" | [Stray Kids : SKZ-PLAYER]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/Oswujxm2Ag0/mqdefault.jpg)
Parkzer: will not shoot someone for drinking milk
Doug: “he is the most responsible gun owner I’ve ever seen”
he got a point there
Not really surprising in the country that has more guns than people
this is america
he is probably one the most responsible guy in genereal
America be like.
"I don't know why I'm answering this guy so seriously he's obviously a troll"
He says, after responding seriously several times to Doug's questions about assault with a deadly breast.
@themakerstoolbox9688 maybe my favourite stream he's done
@The Makers Toolbox p-pepperman? pizza tower?
@@Mama-Luigi DUN DUN DUN! DUN DUN DUN!
@@Mama-Luigi i'm having flash backs to my first pizza tower playthrough where my stubbornness took over and i p ranked it for no fucking reason
TLDR: Doug loses money by forcing a lawyer who is also a cop to play Tetris and then spends the rest of the stream trying to convince the attorney-policeman to shoot him with his gun that he doesn’t actually have with him
Did you not hear Parkzer? He's no cop or attorney, he's a breastmilk enthusiast! Get it right.
@@icantpretend726 Nah-- Nah, he's definitely an attorney-bondsperson breastmilk gun enthusiast.
While under oath
@@AnjnShan Just checked. That is entirely correct
This sounds like a Jerma joke
Parkzer is like a master of everything, but describes himself as only "above average" and constantly belittles his own skills and accomplishments. This responsible gun owning, black belt martial artist, multilingual, tetris professional, typing prodigy, legal master attorney, gun enthusiast police officer-doctor hybrid is one of my favorite collabs with the bell pepper man.
Literally the best summary of the stream
@@Otamatone69 parkzer is legendary
@@pabcp true
Don't forget, he's also a koala
@@miller_koth And father of all Koala-Goldfish Hybrids
Love how at 25:20 Parkzer shuts down doug’s ear question so quickly that he has to immediately bail on the victory music & only the first half of the first note gets out
Lmfao I never noticed that
"I'm not a lawyer. I'm not a police officer."
That's what all Lawyer-police officer-breastmilk enthusiast say.
He never said he wasn't a undercover cop though...
@@deeznutz4517 he never said he wasn’t a undercover lawyer also
@@mocapcow2933 he never said he was an undercover breastmilk enthusiast though...
@@chickenseason1285 i am totally not a undercover breastmilk enthusiast
Doctor too
This entire video is just
Doug: Shoot me
Parkzer: No
Doug: But what if…
Parkzer: No
Doug: Breast milk
Parkzer: No
Doug: Puh-leeeeeze?!?
Parkzer: No.
Doug: Let's imagine for one second
Parkzer: No.
Doug: let's say, hypothetically...
Parkzer: no
Doug: million dollars
Parkzer: no
I seriously can't believe that's all it would take for Parkzer to kill you. You'd think someone who went through both medical and law school would have more self restraint.
not to mention hes a politician
@@traskforge and the president of North Macedonia
@@gangjittleyang And a zoologist
@@karihuber3169 and even secretly Neil Armstrong
@@i.love.mrbudgell And a koala lawyer!
“Laws are just suggestions.” -Parkzer, police officer, attorney and Tetris world champion
And a lawyer
and a doctor
and a brain surgeon
He’s also a porn star and has a black belt in Taekwondo
And breast feeder
i genuinely think this is one of the only times i've seen parkzer hear something doug says and then went "wait, repeat that, that's actually a good question" because it was a genuine challenge to his thinking process and i think parkzer really enjoyed that
I played this in the BG while I was working and I cannot stop laughing as the conversation topics escalates.
Same, eventually I had to turn the stream off because I couldn’t stop laughing
This stream was a joy to watch
Same, I was trying to get some work done but kept constantly getting distracted. It was worth it though, for the best police-lawyer-doctor I've ever known
M
M
Currently in jail, but I just sent this video to my attorney, hoping he can help me out now that he's got advice from the world's best Lawyer Cop. I really think I'm innocent after shooting an evil moustache man falling out of an airplane without a parachute, begging to be shot, as he's breastfeeding, and if I didn't shoot him, he'd land on the train tracks in Idaho
That's Pheonix Wright levels of complicated
I thought he was landing in Switzerland in idaho
Man, after watching this video...
*I THINK YOU HAVE A CHANCE* ✊
As a wittness to this incident, you forgot to mention that behind you evil mustache man from the future also held your family hostage and was milking them on a gunrange.
In Idaho?
Man, you did him a huge favour
The true question to be asked is : If a train were racing full speed toward 5 people, and the only way to make it stop was to drink all passengers breast milk, would he drink the milk before, or after shooting the 5 people in the head ?
**laugh track**
I'd drink all the milk straight from the tap
And is the milk a dog’s milk?
He wouldn't shoot them, he would slow the train so it hurts
@@Blue-fg8vt Well true, as any good cop lawyer universal Tetris Taekwondo master would...
The takeaway I get from this is that Parkzer is in charge of the executive, legislative and judicial branches of the government, and is also the inventor of guns.
very accurate
many people are saying this
He also discovered cow milk
"I don't answer unrealistic questions... No I won't shoot Doug for breastfeeding on international waters"
This has come up for me before.
@@thatinternetdude1392 You were shot while breastfeeding in international waters??
@@sam3851 No, just an eyewitness.
"What if I stole the Declaration of Independence?"
"Good for you"
Probably my favorite bit
No one has redeemed it yet, but one of these days DougDoug will steal the Declaration of Independence
33:48
National treasure moment
@@FaiienWingsking
Wanted to make this comment, but had to double check
This is hilarious. Parker is so serious and you are so ridiculous, you form a comedic duo. I want more of parker
It’s rare to see a married gun enthusiast docter Lawyer police officer
Right? DougDoug, a non-gun owner, insinuating that he would shoot a guy for drinking skim milk without paying for it and a gun owner, who is taught gun safety, saying that that's a ridiculous reason to shoot a guy xD
"what does it mean for a breast to be 'cocked and ready'?" Lmaoooo
it's extremely funny because he _totally recognizes_ his deadpan humor and is leaning into it.
Great duo I agree 👍 💯
This is such a great video, there's a reason that "funny man" and "straight man" is such a timeless comedy pairing.
True.
*cough* phrasing
@@speedyboi1471 nah, dude. As long as people understand the terminology there won’t be any trouble.
@@ironwraith852 ik, just messing around lol
@@speedyboi1471 Sorry, I probably should've known that.
parkser subtly claiming he has a more refined sense of humor compared to doug, then slowly be broken down into laughing at the fart sound effects is probably my favorite part of the video
Parkzer: Lawful Neutral
Doug: Chaotic Good
Twitch Chat: Chaotic Evil
Chat is chaotic neutral, parkzer is lawful good
@@Yoob-yh5gbI mean parkzer said he thinks laws as suggestions
@@yourehallucination4366lawful just means you have a code of conduct / personal rules / set of morals that you follow, not that you follow *the* law
@@mayar404_ I'm arguing for lawful neutral
I’d watch a sitcom with these 3
39:40 I like how Parkster prioritizes correcting Doug that he's not a cop instead of pointing out he would not shoot anyone. The commitment...what a real cop.
Especially him not caring about saying he won't shoot. Of course he will shoot he is a real police officer
mfs will always find a way to make it about this
And a lawyer
And a doctor
And a koala
Man, Parkzer was a cop, a layer, a Tetris champion, a musician, type racer champion... Just the jack of all trades. So talented
But he has little to no milking priorities.
He’s also a very well known gun enthusiast
@@TreeFlob Ah, yes, a sharpshooter, and a hero for killing Doug in the hospital to keep others safe. I shall add that to the list
also a bus driver
was?
is he dead?
"I will not kill a man in cold blood for breast feeding"
Doug - "You are so responsible!"
Did the math, it would take about 1,058,695 bullets to stop a 195,000 kg train going 15.277 m/s with a 0.00804 kg 9mm pistol round going at muzzle velocity(350m/s).
So Parkzer is wrong, if we all put our dog cheese up for sale, we could raise enough money to buy over a million bullets to stop a train from rolling over our side character, Doug.
why is your train going at like 3000 km/h?
@ayooobro yeah, i forgot to convert m/min to m/s
lets us assume that we buy the cheapest ammo weighing that amount (9mm - 115 Grain FMJ - Wolf Performance) costs 200$ for a 1000 bullets.
we would need 1058.695 packets of 1000 bullets, lets make that 1059 for safety purposes, it would cost us
211,800$
we could bargain it down to 200,000$ for a order of such volume.
next we have to fullfill the issue that we have to shoot them all at once at same second, either we would require 1.06 million pistols or have a contraption which would fire them all at once.
The current greatest is the Metal storm which could
*drumroll please*
SHOOT 16,000 BULLETS A MINUTE!
it was originally made for 7.62mm bullets however our special case could allow us to ask them to make a special prototype,
So, we currently have 2 Plans, Plan A or Plan B
Plan A : 1.06 million guns
Plan B : 100 metal storms ( however this plan would take multiple years to finish, so we can eliminate it.)
So continuing with Plan A, it would cost us around 500$ for a used 9mm pistol
So that would just cost us a chill 5.03 million dollars ( small amount)
We would probably need to buy a train to even fullfill this mission (we could probably attack a commercial train however it is not advisable) and according to your calculations, the train is moving at a velocity of 56 km/h
The cheapest i could find was the DB Class V60 at that speed costing 250,000 Deutsche Marks (in 1960) which was 62,500$ (in 1960) which adjusted to inflation is 615,000$
we would also need to factor in the taxes, diesel, track renting amount, the permits, cost to travel to a secluded area with 1.06 million pistols with 1.06 million pistols (cost for cargo tickets, plane fuel,etc.) then we also have to factor if 1.06 million people are shooting the gun (possible with dougs subscribers) or if we are going to build a contraption to make them shoot all at once.
however I dont have enough time, so i leave that task to YOU! the reader please do not ignore this, atleast type a hooray or something for my efforts :,(
so the gross amount without calculating the extra costs would be
*drumroll again please*
is
*6.905 million dollars* or 7 million if you want to round off.
So, to conclude if all of dougs 3 million subscribers donate like 2 and half dollars, we could in theory possibly do it.
TLDR; it costs 7 million dollars (excluding many other costs) to execute the plan if all of dougs 3 million subscribers contributed 2.5 dollars
also please reply with a hooray or something if you read the whole thing :)
Parkzer: I would not execute a man in the grocery store for having breast milk
Doug: Bro he’s like SO responsible
I know that one guy was talking about the podcast as a joke, but I would seriously watch a parkzer and doug podcast about stupid gun questions any day
The Stuggun podcast(Stubborn)
38:05
Doug: If you win 2 more in a row, he will shoot you.
Doug's Orchestra: 🎺🎺🎺🎷🎷🎷🎻🎻🎻🥁🥁🥁🎷🎷🎷📯📯📯
Parkzer:"I will not shoot you"
Orchestra:😐
i love this comment
Their personalities are completely different yet they fit each other so well
yin and yang
@@SpaceMissile DASRASISSS👁👄👁
"This guy clearly isn't an actual lawyer" chat members say as Parkzer spends the entire stream reiterating that he isn't a lawyer
To think that this is where Parkzer started appearing on the channel. Kinda crazy how prevalent he’s become in two years.
10:47 “If somebody pointed their breast at me I would not shoot them.” - Parkzer. Same
Arguably, I would even invite it
@@skeetsmcgrew3282 😂
@@skeetsmcgrew3282 without using a gun I hope?
I may feel compelled to shoot my coconut gun, which fires in spurts after an initial period of operation
@@TheOneWhoHasABadName and then there’s chunky…. He’s dead
responsible gun owner, taekwondo black belt, Tetris master, humble as the lord Jesus Christ. what a man
I'm convinced that he is from a higher plane of existence than any of us.
Not to mention lawyer-cop
how could you forget?
he apparently also does brazillian kickboxing and ju-jitsu, and got the black belt at 8.
He also has over 50,000,000 power in war of hero's quest.
this was one of the funniest streams in recent memory like the absolutely UNHINGED straight man and wise guy comedy duo energy between parkzer and dougdoug is absolutely delightful
I love doug hyping Parkzer up and Parkzer just trying to correct him.
I especially like “you might get disbarred!”
“I’m not a lawyer!”
"'I am not a police officer and I am not an attorney' -Parkzer, Lawyer and Cop"
Parkzer's actually correct with the speed limit part. Many of the DMV handbooks and driving teachers will recommend you to drive at what is safe for traffic, even if it violates speed limit.
except the speed limit in the US is often too high to be safe to begin with and this is one of the reasons why the US had the most deaths by car accident per capita
@@KyrieFortuneexcept no.
@@KyrieFortunethat is so incredibly wrong
@@KyrieFortune actually yes.
@@KyrieFortune that is so incredibly right
"You can fill in the gaps with breast milk" is perhaps the best sentence I've ever heard in my life.
Edit: Ok I take it back, "You can milk my family all you want, that is not a life threatening offer" is the best sentence.
20:54
It feels like Doug has ascended to a higher, stranger dimension than his mortal human friend.
*lawyer cop mortal human friend
Assuming Parkzer isn’t immortal cop lawyer
And a tetris champion
@@foodiswonder8998 how could I forget I can’t believe I disrespected him so much ya think he shoot me!
I love that Doug and chat are just talking random stupidity and questions that doesn't make any sense and he's still trying to answer it seriously...
Video:
0.76% games
99.24% doug trying to get parkzer to shoot him
This entire conversation is just the extreme version of "Would you still love me if I were a worm?"
real
Finally, a video with the most talented Lawyer and Cop there is.
Dont forget gun enthusiast
and doctor
And Tetris world champion
This is genuinely the best Straight Man & Wise Guy duo I've seen since Abbott and Costello.
Absolutely incredible stuff, please bring him back for more!
33:48 This got me more than it should have. That was just genuine, unironic, golden humor. I love this duo
Personal highlights:
4:35 - So good at tetris
5:51 - Supportive
8:40 - The salute
9:08 - Grocery store
10:43 - Self defense
19:52 - Skydiving
20:42 - Hostage situation
38:08 - Pew
Thank you!
PSA: Doug has changed the title of this video
Parkzer used to be a real lawyer, but now he is only a “real” lawyer.
Parkzer made him change it
Parkzer was a huge inspiration growing up, I always wanted to be a doctor-lawyer-officer!
And bald
Doug's gun knowledge comes exclusively from Red Dead Redemption, and it's hilarious
What’s his knowledge from rdr
18:44 I don't know if this eventually got brought up but even if the train did have an obscene amount of momentum (which it does) enough bullets could technically stop it, because each one reduces it by some amount. However, the reason that the bullets wouldn't actually be able to stop the train (unless you fired them like all at once) is because the train has an engine which produces more energy that goes into keeping the train going forward than the bullets can impart into it to stop it
I mean, at some point unless you’re using weak ammo you’ll probably destroy the engine if you have enough time and bullets
Technically possibly, but incredibly improbable.
Breast feed the bullets that Will make them stronger
There's one problem, if the bullets are strong enough they could just destroy the train. Destroyed train ≠ stopped train.
Now if we had something like a mini gun shooting incredibly weak bullets incredibly quickly, maybe we could do it.
@@Kobolds_in_a_trenchcoat Clearly the solution is to shoot bullets made of beast milk. They still have momentum, but won't destroy the train. Alternatively, give the train warm breast milk and sing it a lullaby to make it fall asleep, stopping it without any bullets at all.
Why did I put this off for so long, thinking "eh I don't really care about guns". This was brilliant, Doug's chaotic energy gets brick-walled by Parkzer's down-to-earthness. 😂
I love how Parker is just 100% serious. He obviously knows that 95% of this is jokes but they really work well together.
These two make such great duo they should get a Sitcom:
"Doug & Parkzer- Streamer and Cop Lawyer"
the laughtrack is already there so 90% of the work is done.
“What if Doug was planning to kill you?”
“I would ask him not to”
Killers: Well shit that’s all you had to say.
Parkzer is truly the epitome of Lawful Good
I will miss chat and Doug teasing Parkzer for being a lawyer or cop (he's neither) and him denying it every time. It was a good bit. I'm sure we'll find Parkzer, the manager of a Wallmart, a new job title.
I unironically love Parkzer so much. The dude is hilarious and I don’t think he even knows just how funny he is.
Just to clarify, Parkzer is not a real gun
Oh thanks. I was confused
Loved Dougs extra goofiness in this steam while Parkzer was trying to be serious 😂. It made it so funny to watch.
@The Makers Toolbox dougdoug is a silly man we’re just mentally insane
I absolutely loved Parker's persistence. He never got tired of keeping the facts straight, despite the absolute futility.
19:06 Douglas Douglas and Parkzer did the "Magazine not a clip" before it was even famous
This is unironically the funniest video ever. I put this on the background and ended up getting really invested at how Parkzer is so insistent in not shooting Doug and how he is seemingly not sick of saying that he’s not a lawyer nor a police officer.
It wasn't until NEARLY SIXTEEN MINUTES into the video I recognize that Doug is simply harassing this poor man and that I love him for it while still feeling bad for Parkzer but I mean it's kind of his own fault for agreeing to join Doug I mean really. Harass away, DougDoug.
wtf is wrong here. it's just how bros usually talk. if i say "hey man, would you allow me to fuck your sister, if that was the only thing that could save me from cancer?" that's not a harassment
The moment at 25:04 where Doug keeps trying to play the music is honestly one of my new favourite DougDoug moments
The success music that starts happening around 25:05 is why I love Doug. Doug's super silly humor with Twitch chat contrasting Parkzer's serious, rational responses was the funniest thing ever. Loved this.
I love the juxtaposition between these two and the humor that is coming from ONE person in chat getting extremely pissed off by the joke to the point that they say, "I'm considering reporting this." *Chef's kiss*
Kinda weird that the only thing stopping Parkzer from killing literally everyone he's ever met is whether or not he goes to court over it
Makes me wonder what he does in his free time just because it’s legal
But he did say that he doesn't just follow laws because breaking them would land him in legal trouble, but because he sees laws as guidelines that are there for a reason.
Ten minutes of this is actual gameplay, while the 30 other minutes is Doug trying to get parkzer to find a situation where he would shoot doug
Thanks to the two of you, I have finally solved the train dilemma after 30+ years of life.
Thank you, Doug. I wouldn't have expected you to be the source of this inspiration _at all_ , but then again, you _do_ solve problems that no one has. Professionally.
I love this Doug guy, Parker should have him join on his streams more
19:05 a magazine stores rounds in preparation for firing, a clip loads rounds into internal magazines (most commonly found on older firearms). Most modern firearms have external magazines.
Also automatic firearms can have magazines or clips. Fire selection (automatic vs semi automatic) doesn't influence whether a firearm has a clip or magazine
Wow, to think that Parkzer would become would become such an integral part of the channel after such humble beginnings.
love the name and profile pic, happy pride
This is what happens when law and chaos personified became friends
I have never seen a more experienced cop/lawyer in my lifetime. Parkzer is an amazing person and I hope to see the sequel when he finally shoots Doug.
Oh gosh I can’t believe this guy agreed to appear after the Faendal incident
@@beastongaming1866 yeah they even mention jack at some point in this video, pretty sure they’re different people. especially since jack was only a lawyer and parkzer is a lawyer, police officer and doctor
Faendal incident?
What incident
@@sandmountainsam9287 it's in one of the skyrim videos
@@Luci_Diavol thank you
"you can milk my family all you want" -Parkzer
this vid is criminally underrated, its just an hour of doug trying to get Parker to shoot him and its so good
32:16 - the "twitch chat controls the gun" thing is so crazy to think about. i want that on a movie or tv show or something.
i mean, the record would be right there. whoever types "shoot" would be on the log.
...and would anybody actually do it? surely somebody would do it, but if you knew/thought the gun would actually go off, would somebody actually do it?
gah - my head.
There was actually an art installation called Domestic Tension that is literally that but with a paint gun
What I see in most Twitch chats makes me feel like it would happen immediately if I'm being honest
@@peoniibud wellnif it's harmless/not lethal then of course everyone would type shoot
imagine instead of chat throwing a frog at jermas head they shot him
The entire stream in a nutshell "I am not a lawyer" "I am not a poilice officer" "I am not going to shoot you"
I love how this channel has been dougdoug dessert, dougdoug detention, and now just dougdougdoug
I love these twos friendship because Doug and Parkzer couldn't be more of like... Opposites if they tried. Parkzer is this logical upright lawyer cop who follows rules and keeps things orderly. And Doug is a madman who regularly fights the Alphabet while chugging Olive Oil.
A clip holds bullets on a metal slide piece (ie: strip). A magazine (aka mag) holds bullets in a container with a spring, it feeds bullets towards the top of the mag. this enables the bullets to be picked up by the bolt carrying group. There are box mags, and cylindrical mags. As for most machine guns, they are belt fed. For belt fed weapons, bullets are placed on a bandolier with links allowing the weapon to essentially pull through a feed tray allowing the weapon to cycle.
I like the contrast between parkzer who lives in a very reasonable and logical sphere and mindset, and then... There's Doug.
If Doug went skydiving without a parachute and was about to land on Parkzer, but if Parkzer pulled out his gun and shot Doug he would be able to divert his fall so Doug wouldn't hit him, would Parkzer shoot Doug?
Gotta say, loving the constant Doug uploads now.
19:10 sneeko and charlie drama a year before it started
"You stabbed Parkzer. With the console controller."
"Ouch."
😂
doug is unironicly the first youtuber you can watch like 18 times and still laugh at whatever is happening
Pls more with parkzer, it is always interesting to her the knowledge of a cop and an attorney
And a firearm enthusiast
And a doctor
If you're interested, half of this VOD is Parkzer giving life advice: ruclips.net/video/VgnTong4ntA/видео.html
You should have guests like this on your channel more often. This was such a fun stream.
I love how real is in quotes, rather than lawyer. Implying that parkzer might not be real, but definitely IS a lawyer
One of the most common locomotives in the US, the GE ES44AC, has a kinetic energy of approximately 1,309,389,044 Joules when moving near its top speed. A 9mm bullet has an average kinetic energy of approximately 605 joules. Based on my very brief, very dirty calculations, it would take around 2,164,279.412 9mm bullets to stop the train.
I really appreciate the level of professionalism parkzer replies with to every one of Doug and chat's absolutely bonkers ridiculous questions. Parkzer is my favorite addition to the Dougdoug cinematic universe
Doug: "Parkzer, would you shoot a guy if he was breast feeding in public?"
Parkzer: "What? No!"
Doug: "Guys, Parkzer is the most responsible gun owner I know!"
Gotta say Doug, the standard you have for somebody being a "responsible gun owner" makes me really happy that you don't have a gun!
How do we know he doesn’t
The question about twitch chat controlling a gun via chat is unironically a legitimately fascinating hypothetical, as a law student. My first impulse is to assume chat would be liable, assuming they're fully aware that the gun will fire
but in that situation, doug set up a gun also knowing it would fire at him, right, so would he be partially liable too? also would it just be everyone in chat who typed "shoot", since there's no way of telling which message was the trigger?
related, if a few thousand people tried to shoot a gun at someone simultaneously and all of them missed but one and there was also no way of telling which gun the bullet came from, are they all charged with murder?
The most underrated part of this video is how Parkzer answering the heart-bomb question implies, based off his earlier deflections, that the heart-bomb scenario is a realistic possibility in his mind.
Translation on Parkzer's Behalf:
I do not see the law as just a list to prevent crimes, but also as a general guide of ethics. Some parts of the guide are often ignored, such as the Georgia law that states that no one can put ice cream in their back pocket on Sundays to prevent horse theft, or how in California, you can't eat a frog that died from a frog-jumping competition, or in Arizona, you can't put a donkey in a bathtub. Driving above the speed limit is technically illegal, but it is not enforced unless you drive much faster than the speed limit. This is why I see the law as a suggestion, and not just a set of rules, although it's technically both depending on the law.
Wow, that Police Officer Attorney, Parkzer, sure has a way with words!
"You can milk my family all you want."
-Parkzer, 2021
"'Laws are just suggestions" - Parkzer, Lawyer' -DougDoug, RUclipsr, Chef, American, and Bismuth Investor
I love how Doug is never discouraged by his stone cold responses😂 it's really nice they're good friends even tho they're opposite
Is Parkzer a human? He seems like a robot that was programmed to follow the law the fullest extent and doug found him and his teaching him humanity
Lmfao that sounds like the perfect plot of a tv sitcom.