I hired a "lawyer" to review my viewers dating profiles
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- Опубликовано: 29 мар 2023
- DISCLAIMER: PARKZER IS NOT A LAWYER
Streaming live on Twitch! / dougdoug
Full stream recording: • Valentines Day with Pa...
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Edited by Mckl! mikeremer.wixsite.com/mysite
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Music Credits (in order of appearance):
Ring Fit Adventure - Fitness Gym
Zelda Skyward Sword - Opening
Zelda Wind Waker - Outset Island
Yakuza Like a Dragon - Apathy 3
SimCity 3000 - Concrete Jungle
Skullgirls - Clear Breeze
Mario Kart 8 - Dolphin Shoals
Bayonetta - Magical Sound Shower Out Run
Bowser's Fury - Lake Lapcat Theme
Pokemon Sword Shield - Slumbering Weald Theme
Spyro A Hero's Tail - Dragon Village (Beta Version)
Bowser's Fury - Plessie Ride
Sonic Colors - Aquarium Park (Act 3)
Zelda Wind Waker - Dragon Roost Island
Super Mario Galaxy - Honeybee Kingdom
Mario Strikers Charged - Pause Menu
Skullgirls - Pedestrians Crossing
Super Mario Sunshine - Noki Bay
Guilty Gear Strive - Countermove
Dual Destinies - Suspicious People
Super Mario Odyssey - Staff Roll
Sly Cooper 2 - Episode Select
Persona 5 - Butterfly Kiss
Astral Chain - Awakening
Kirby Triple Deluxe - Dededes Royal Payback
Persona 5 - Escape
Astral Chain - Suspense
freesound.org/people/Sheyvan/...
About DougDoug:
Doug is a sentient bell pepper who was hired by the FBI to crack gaming challenges and also talk about things with food
#DougDoug #DougDougDoug #Parkzer 
Игры
"My eyes are up here."
"And your bare chest is down there."
Parkzer is truly a gift to the world.
Actually sounds like a joke in a sitcom
"Umm, my eyes are up here?"
"Yeah, and your bosom is down there."
I love how despite being close friends, Parkzer always talks to Doug as if he was speaking to a client. It's like Doug picked a random lawyer from the street.
where else was he supposed to source a lawyer from?
@@preistestdragon4634 Saul Goodman
@@monkedude Saul already worked against him in the conquest for America. Doug still holds a grudge to this day.
or maybe even a random police officer
Wait, you are telling me that he did not pick a random lawyer from the street for that stream?
Parkzer perfectly balances the line between "Perfectly normal everyday person" and "Alien who landed on earth 24 minutes ago"
He's just an alien that landed on Earth 5 years ago or smth like that
i think thats called autis-----
@@TjokoCowAutism, you can say it, it’s not a slur
Imp not saying it bc its rude to assume neurodivergence jus cuz they are strange@@DeathnoteBB
@@TjokoCow Okay then don’t say it… You pretty clearly where saying it though. Also it’s more rude to call someone “strange” for seeming ND
I love the fact that Parkzer takes everything so seriously.
"Hi, Billy Mays here-"
"Hello Billy Mays."
More like “Hello. Billy Mays.”
@@supersillystuffs
"Hello William Mathew"
hello douglas, douglas.
hello mario
everything*
If Parkzer got married he could be his own wedding officiant, marriage counselor, and divorce attorney. What a legend.
He can also shoot his ex-spouse because he’s a cop with a gun
@@dauntingkitty then run his own prosecution and defense
@@ender8124 and execution
@@ender8124 and prison breakout
@@larrybird6860 and international manhunt
We all better hope that Parkzer never makes a dating profile, no one else will stand a chance
really hope this gets top comment
true
true
Those goldfish never stood a chance
I hope he never does anything because he's better than everyone else at most things, I'm scared he'll try to become the main character so that chat has to join Doug as a side character
"Isn't rizz strictly sexual?"
"He's in a watermelon!"
That clears it up, thank you.
I love how parkzer is always like “I’m not a lawyer” and then proceeds to perfectly explain complex legal concepts
Law is a pretty swagtastic hobby if you're able to weed through the dry, crunchy surface.
@@AlterationA Heh. Weed.
@@sakuucchan Heh. Weed.
@@21bucks Heh. Weed.
@@Stampyboyz Heh. Weed.
Parkzer is such a strange human being, how can one man be so many things? A lawyer, cop, pornstar, manager, gun owner, Doug's gay lover, and a dating expert! Everytime he shows up I scream he is too powerful
Koala
everytime he shows up i cream he is too powerful
@@TurbopropPuppy comedy.
Johnny Sins
Not a pornstar. He's a pimp.
It will never not be funny how Parkzer seems to perpetually exist in a undefined super-state between the most normal Straight-Man type dude who has no care for any sort of funny business whatsoever, and also the most incomprehensible alien being who appears to have lived on Mars for his entire adult life and has no concept of human society
what
perfect description
Jermacore
@@giovannimarecoortiz1122 words
@@gohanr1271 great word 10/10
"Just because he likes sushi does not mean I become gay or bisexual"
Your loss Parkzer
Coward :)
Is Parkzer gay? I legit can't tell.
@@TheGrumbliestPuppy honestly, if I had to put forth headcanon, id say he’s asexual
@@spiderdude2099i personally wouldn't headcanon a real person's sexuality, but go off ig
@@platinumfactor it’s not based on nothing. Parkzer has expressed being at least demisexual, as in he doesn’t feel attraction until he gets to know someone. So, who knows? He’s at the very least Demisexual, but I also kinda get asexual vibes from him. It doesn’t really matter what I think tho.
I love how parkzer is chronically annoyed at things that don't make sense
I know this doesn't won't sound good nor nice but he has big bang sheldon vibes
@@bruhmodeactive3211that is deeply insulting and you should immediately apologize.
@@lordfelidae4505 I said what I said but I'm sorry bout that
@@bruhmodeactive3211I hate how accurate this is.
@@bruhmodeactive3211That is so many words to avoid saying autistic.
i do so deeply love that parkzer is always the most sane person in the room but also simultaneously never knows anything
Granted, when Doug and Chat are the only other people in the room, the bar of sanity is low
he is just a Normal Guy he doesn't know anything about vocaloids or memes and that's beautiful
Parkzer speaks so slowly and meticulously as if he'll be sued or cancelled every time he opens his mouth
Hes a lawyer in Training... thats what he learns haha
I'm fairly certain that Parkzer is very autistic. That would explain the way he speaks. Autistic people tend to have more trouble communicating and so learn to talk very clearly young to be understood.
parkzer does speak like he knows he's being watched 24/7 by a team of lawyers who're ready to sue him the moment he says something vaguely untrue
@@olive4200 He is.
@@ohgodohnothebees he's got his eyes on that Character and Fitness test
Parkzor is a phenomenon where him being a "Lawyer in training" somehow makes him truly more powerful than any actual full lawyer.
I adore how Parkzer and Doug give off the most "married" but also "strangers" energy ever
It’s always so fun to see Doug’s insanity mix with Parkzer’s purely grounded existence
The Ultimate Straight Man xd
Doug is like the gayest straight man ever and parkzer is like the straightest gay man ever he is like the most insane person out of the 2 of them because he just talks in a psychotic way
Straight man vs funny man splatfest is real and they are cooperating
@@JoeLikesBlue 25:22 truuuue
@@Number.1Yanfei.Fan123 Parkzer vs Dougdoug vs Chat splatfest when?
I love how Parkzer is either way too into the joke or legitimately completely lost in the sauce with the inside jokes of both doug and chat.
Parkzer half the time: "That is incorrect"
Parkzer the other half of the time: "Even your dog!"
i think he might be on the spectrum a bit.
@@pranksinatra2755Vibes I got as well. Definitely very high-functioning though.
@@TheUnderscore_what? 😭
@@TheUnderscore_stop using the terms high and low functioning
The straight man funny man duo once again proves why it has been working 100s of years, You guys are truly a modern day Abbot and Costello
Doug: who is on first
Parkzer: who is on first??
Doug: correct
Parkzer: you didn't answer the question
@@bruhmodeactive3211very in character.
Parkzer, the Taekwondo master: "There is no belt system for guns"
His sheer martial power has made him forget about belt-fed guns
Parkzer carries the gun fir restraint, he's more deadly without it.
He forgot about the ancient art of gun-fu
Taegundo
And gun belts that you put a holster on.
"It's not that I'm afraid of the water, it's that I tend to sink" is an incredible line
I think it isn't the a line or a hook, but a sinker.
The genuine offense Parkzer seems to feel when he thinks Doug is saying he ate a screwdriver when he was 6 years old is what gives me the energy to keep living.
hes the best omg
His innocence must be preserved 😂
makes me laugh so hard. he's completely taken aback. you'd think the name was like "fecalsnot" or something from that reaction
6:32
@@truecrisp MVP
As a new person to Parkzer (mainly watched the chat runs), the energy these to give off to each other is true friendship. Its like Doug is there to torment Parkzer and Parkzer has just accepted his fate.
"friendship"
And they were "roommates"
It's*
Parkzer blesses us with supreme sanity. “How am I supposed to make a decision with just this information”
Amen brother, dating apps are a dumpster fire.
Tbf, the decision isn’t “would I date this person”, it’s “do I want to talk to this person” and then based on that decide on dating or not
I'm gonna be honest with you here, sometimes what's put in there isn't enough for 'Would I talk to this person?' either.
@@jotarogoosjo.1582 At most, the information put in the dating apps are for "Should I avoid this person if I see them on the street?"
Parkzer is such an enigma of a human being, I love him dearly
he's such a fine specimen
I'd bet money that Parkzer is severely autistic. I both am and have known very autistic people and his body language is familiar to me. That little way he sort of bobs his head a bit, I dunno how to describe it, but it's something I've seen in every strongly autistic person I've met. I really respect Doug's chat for all appreciating him and including him rather than picking on him.
He's anything but an enigma, though, isn't he? He's completely blunt and open about who he is and what his values are.
@@hopsys the point isn’t that it’s hard to figure out what he is, it’s just that his interests and personality seems very strange compared to the conventional average.
@@hopsys I think they refer to the enigma that is Parkzer's mind, not that he *is* enigmatic
Doug and Parkzer are like the two halves of the brain but as whole people, and watching them interact is fantastic
The left and right brain
Doug is the intrusive thoughts part of the brain and Parkzer is the logic that keeps you from giving in to those thoughts
The problem with the personification of intrusive thoughts is that without the suppressive conscience, that thing is going to continue to act on every single "intrusive" thought it has.
I love how confused parkzer was at a drink being named "Screwdriver", as someone who knows the story(Coal miners had orange juice rations while alchohal was prohibited and so they mixed vodka into thier orange juice and mixed it with screwdrivers) it is hilarious how upset he is.
alchohal
hmm yes if i mix coffee with a spoon i'm drinking a spoon
Why are you like this?@@JorgetePanete
@@lukeboy8081Wdym?
10:19 This is something that lots of people need to hear in dating advice. Preferences and interests, while a decent starting point, are usually an ultimately unimportant aspect of your chemistry with another person. Hell, take Dougdoug and Parkzer. They have so little in common in terms of surface traits that people usually put on a dating profile, but there are things keeping them together that go deeper than that.
When you have some things in common with someone, but have a decent amount that is different, there will be a lot to talk about. Common ground is safety, but differences are interesting and discussion worthy.
You're absolutely right. You can have people that play games in the same room, and they can play the same game, but still have little to talk about because of their personalities
why is this so far down?? Real shit man
Parkzer is my favorite lawyer, especially when he’s trying to breed with a goldfish
That’s my favorite thing he does
You mean your favorite koala
@@ZachsOnQuack koala lawyer
Parkzer is the most conventionally boring but unique person ive ever seen. Bless this man, he is a gem.
He's got that James May charisma
You misspelled gun
Like James May and Jordan Schlansky.
@@goodsirbear-7579 he is not a gun
@@joshclark756source?
I’m so glad parkzer finally decided to collab with someone, even if it’s with this random guy no one’s ever met I’m still glad it happened, 10/10 video
.
@@crumpet-enjoyer excuse me I wasn’t talking about parkzer I was talking about the other dude,
@@crumpet-enjoyer so how about you read the text before you try to correct me
he deleted his comment lmao
@@Brainlerswho
These two characters are equally starnge and enigmatic. Doug and Parkzer are a friendship made in heaven
Poppajournee8323, you were two Steps late. Your Jojo Reference was your only weakness.
Parkzer: "Will you please listen? I'm not a lawyer!"
Doug & Chat: "HE IS A LAWYER!"
Yeah that’s what happened
That's exactly what a lawyer would say!
Parkzer: Isn’t “rizz” strictly sexual?
Doug: *It’s in a watermelon.*
Thank you that doesn't answer my question
I love how Parkzer is uncomfortable with with certain very normal things, but has a completely different experience with stuff that’s not normal.
I am convinced Parkzer is an 15th century middle aged Japanese man that's been isekaid into today's world and had a yokai tell him if he ever admits to it, he'd end the world so he has to always angrily and disappointedly try to answer everything in the most straight forward way to not get people suspicious.
Parkzer confirmed for Touhou 20?
Parkzer must be protected at all costs, he's a treasure we cannot lose in the divorce 😭
69 likes :)
And he must never discover what a muscle mommy is
The way Parkzer says _"Douglas"_ with his entire chest exudes a -sexual- lawyer energy.
Can't wait til one of us gets too lonely from the divorce and writes explicit Doug x Parkzer fanfiction
@@royalblanket on it
@@starbow_lava5711oh no
@@starbow_lava5711 ty 🥵🥵
A rizz, even
Its fucking hilarious how parkzer was more interested in the squirrel video than the dating profiles
This gets better every few minutes. Parkzer is so relatable. I love how he reacts so purely and honestly to _dating apps._ Then, we find out that he is a not-formally-educated legal consultant who works in the porn industry? But later, the money quote: “What is an embedded software engineer?” - “Like, he's very sleepy”. Amazing. Then, a shallow dive into the GDPR. What?! Luckily, Josh seems to reside in the USA, and the GDPR only applies within the EEA. You're safe, Josh! Later, we get some inside into US-American taxes, or so we are led to believe, and it turns out DouglasDouglas edited Parkzer's advice into a meme. I absolutely adore that Parkzer tracks his activities in his calendar. There's some information on the right time to re-finance loans. Thanks, Parkzer! I hope you take over this rotten channel soon, after DouglasDouglas gets convicted for locking D-colon in the basement.
"Maybe I was screw-driven as a 6 year old" god I love everything that Parkzer says
Parkzer feels like a AI generated human based solely off people from the 80s
this is what peak peformance looks like
No way an AI could generate something as sophisticated as parkzer. He was definitely carefully handcrafted by a team of scientists.
@@Orillion123456 grown in a lab
Parkzer is the default human you see when you would see if created a human character.
@@mrself5824 That is a very strange statement to make about an extremely exceptional person like parkzer.
i feel like parkzer is so aggressively neurodivergent its like I'm talking through him he is saying exactly what i would say
I was diagnosed with Autism a few years ago, and I see so much of myself in Parkzer.
@@a_literal_crow i thought you said digested with autism, thank you for the laugh
@@greenbeepm true, I consumed the autism to become the autism
@@greenbeepmwell when you’re diagnosed later in life, I’d imagine you need to digest that shift in self image for a bit.
@@greenbeepm Would that be eating yourself?
I want to have a hour long conversation with Parkzer about taxes, economics, and culinary arts now.
my favorite thing with Parkzer is I am never sure if he gets the joke or is just an IRL comedic straightman
Both, both is good.
Yep, both, he 100% gets the joke and is also an irl comedic, and possibly literal, straight man
I legitimately cannot tell if Parkzer is a master troll or not. He knows so many things and yet he doesn't. It really makes you think
He is *THE* master troll
He wiped out his entire memory bank clear of anything that isn't laws.
Honestly, he feels a bit autistic to me. Has his very special interests while being absolutely unknowing about almost anything else. Takes things very literally and doesn't understand a lot of jokes.
definitely not trolling, and if you need proof it's in the calendaring of events. He reminds me a lot of one person I know in particular, and he is 100% legit
I love how Parkser is just like a normal guy, it really highlights Doug's insanity and adds so much contrast
Doug is much more normal aside from the olive oil.
I’d like to say in todays day and age, Doug is the more normal of the two.
I didn't laugh this hard in a while.. love the dynamic these two have together. Parkzer is genuinely so wholesome, Doug delivering so many funny comments with a straight face is hilarious as well
Best line is “Douglas Douglas”
The fact that Doug and Parkzer have such conflicting personalities on stream is an amazing dynamic.
He greets him like that all the time btw.
Parkzer is the ultimate straight man of any comedy duo
this. this right here. nailed it right on the head
its always nice when doug makes a cameo on parkzer's streams
i actually refuse to believe that there is a man as normal and healthy as parkzer in the world
I don’t know if I would call that man normal and healthy. I mean I guess you COULD…
@@rugbug531 He is the PINNACLE of normal and healthy.
Parkzer is such an enigma, one second he is a cop then a gun owning attorney, And now a pornstar consultant who is deathly afraid of water. We should all aspire to be this man.
he's not afraid of water, he just... sinks
Finally, a cure for our collective divorce
What type of cancer is that? I want them all.
Parkzer is like an alien that learned human customes from legal documents and try to understand in real life.
9:22 I feel like if I ever need to explain to someone why we love Parkzer, this is the best clip I could show. He is, at every moment, incredibly thorough and precise while being hilariously out of his depth at other random things.
For Parkzer, Valentine's isn't just a day it's a state of being. The man oozes rizz
Jizz*
You mean jizz
Hes oozing allover the other lawyers and police officers
But hopefully not jizz
The duality of Doug purposely changing the narrative and Parkzer having to correct him constantly for *legal purposes* is so hilarious
I used to think Parkzer was the most sane person on RUclips but this stream clearly proved me wrong
Parkzer is the strongest "straight man" I've ever seen.
(In a comedy aspect, not sexual preference aspect.)
I mean that as well
He is probably the strongest straight man I've seen in a sexual preference aspect too
Agreed. Definitely a top contender for strongest straight man in a geometric aspect.
He is one of the strongest straight men in a fire aspect
he's the strongest straight man in an aspect ratio for sure
The Doug-Parkzer Dynamic: Doug implies something incorrect for comedic effect; Parkzer reminds Doug that the statement was, in fact, incorrect, but only half of the time for comedic effect. This is why they work so well together, like puzzle pieces cut from the same mold.
I love the dynamic between Parkzer and Doug, the fact that Parkzer takes everything super seriously while Doug is just aloof. Sometimes I wonder how they became friends or if Parkzer is just playing an act.
Linguistics lesson: -"Rizz" is short for Charisma. Y'know, cha-rizz-ma.
-"Hits" is short for "Hits the spot". So "hits different" means it hits the spot better than other foods and "doesn't hit the same" means it doesn't hit the spot as much as it used to. Can also be used the same way in a non-food context.
-"Rips ass" means farts
Parkzer immediately pointing out dating app flaws is hilarious even though he is the master of dating
Fascinating how Parkzer was given media he enjoys and immediately started gaining a short attention span.
nice catch, nice thought
you mean squirrels and chipmunks ?
"No, i had orange juice and alcohol, not a screw... SCREWDRIVER?!"
Parkzer not knowing things is pure comedy
The SCREWDRIVER moment set the expectation for the rest of the stream. Protect Parkzer at all costs!
Parkzer and Doug are like two characters from completely different movie genres interacting.
It‘s like Parkzer is from a dry, realistic human drama…
And Doug is from a surreal cartoon!
Parkzer is the main character in a game while Doug is a random enemy
Parkzer is from Sherlock Holmes, while Doug is from Spongebob
They need Parkzer's advice judging by the amount of divorces chat has.
Parkzers realizm is the perfect balance to Doug's energy and comedy, I love seeing their interactions
“I was screwdriven as a 6 year old” is the craziest thing I’ve ever heard.
Parkzer: "If you are a straight man, do not attempt to date me."
So you're saying a gay man has a chance?
No, the problem wasn’t the straight part, it was the man part. You’ll need to be a cat idiot.
Idk but we can find out
My favorite bit so far is 25:32 where Parkzer says "Just because I like sushi does not mean I become gay or bisexual"
Unfortunately that's the thing that got me but I hope he's able to hold out for the long run (if he wants, lol)
Also, I really liked the part where he said "it's Parking time" and then parked all over the place
@@fernbear3950 *Parkzin' time, FTFY
@@ashb7 *smacks noodles snacks* oh no, i knew what i was doing bxi.... ;D
Doug is like a journalist in that he can take the slightest off-hand comment and he’ll run a mile. Like Parkzers “I don’t like water” to “You’re afraid of the water” and it’s something special to behold
This video was not only hilarious but also incredibly informative. It's amazing how much of a difference a few tweaks to a dating profile can make. I appreciate how the lawyer gave honest and constructive feedback, pointing out both the good and the bad aspects of the profiles. It was also interesting to see how the profiles differed based on gender and age. As someone who's struggled with creating a good dating profile, I found this video to be incredibly helpful. It's clear that a lot of effort and thought went into creating this video, and I thoroughly enjoyed watching it. Thanks for sharing your insights!
We need a f*cking sitcom with these two.
I would watch the HELL out of that sitcom
It would be genuinely incredible
50 MINUTES of Pure love between Parkzer and Doug!?!?! Hope Twitch chat Doesn't cause them to Divorce
omg i love how doug looks at parkzer with such adoration its amazing
I love Parkzer's classic catch-phrase, "I'm not a lawyer". These videos should really have a laugh track every time he says his classic catch-phrase.
Parkzer is so serious it loops around to being hilarious, he and Doug have a great friendship
i fucking love how parkzer backtracked twice just to make rizz sound as nerdy as anyone could ever make it
this is such a polarizing and entertaining duo i dont know how it works but it does very well
Parkzer is the greatest example ever of "If you're going to be weird, do it confidently". He's absolutely magnetic despite being like Data from Star Trek 😂
I love how literal parkzer is in contrast to how sarcastic and absurd Doug can be, it’s a brilliant duo
Parkzer is just the worlds most perfect straight man.
(For Parkzer reading this. I know it's presumptuous of me but straight man is a comedy term for someone who is serious so the funnyman has someone who contrasts them.)
parkzer and doug are unironically one of the greatest comedic duos around right now.
this is 100% my favorite video of yours lmao. the pairing of you too is actually amazing lol
I'm autistic, and the relationship Parker has with Doug is the exact relationship I have with my neurotypical friends. It's absolutely great, lol.
Parkzer* How could you possibly miss-spell his name like that?
What're you, autistic? Oh wait...
I love the way chat really loves and respects Parkzer while teasing him just enough to get a reaction. It's great to see. Mobs are not often kind to severely autistic people.
@@discordlexia2429 Yeah! I'm not sure if he's autistic or not (I don't want to diagnose strangers!) but damn, I legitimately adore how he and the chat are so respectful with each other.
You can tell he's getting as much of a kick out of this as Doug is.
@@discordlexia2429 I think that how much adoration Doug has for Parkzer has rubbed off on his chat. Also, Parkzer will unexpectedly deliver the harshest burns to Doug, and you know we love to see our guy get dunked on.
Parkzer is autistic? I'm confused sounded normal to me
I like how Parkzer just questions society the whole while Doug tries to explain how it’s supposed to work even though it shouldn’t
34:02 “There is no belt system for guns.”
Oh yeah? What about belt-fed machine guns, Parkzer?
These two play off of each other so well. Parkzer as the lawyer + cop + straight man and Doug as the loose cannon wild card. The classic comedy duo.
Do you think Parkzer’s dirty talk during sex is just whispering about loop holes in different laws?
Hopefully the laws aren't related....
6:23 - I remember seeing this part live; I still find it hilarious how completely offended he was by the name "screwdriver" for a drink 😂
I want Doug to release the full 1 and a half minute footage of Parkzer talking about taxes
I fucking adore how Parkzer is slowly growing more comfortable on the channels, and is slowly starting to joke more. It’s nice to see.
First a bunny suit, and then a unicorn costume. Is there something DougDougDoug wants to tell us?
uwu
Furry?
You forget the otter suit too
2 is reasonable, but 3 costumes/onesies is a collection
Dont forget his unhinged humans should have tails rant
Parkzer and Doug are complete polar opposites but still great friends, all their videos together are hilarious
Doug and Parkzer are both very strange but in completely opposite ways
Since we recently found out about Doug CLEARLY being a gay virgin, I'm glad he hired Parkzer to create a suitable dating profile
Dougs face at 6:48 after parkzer said "Well I guess I was screwdriven" is hilarious to me lmao.
“as a 6 year old”