the current state of the western society derives directly from asking ourselves that question too often and answering it sincerely every time, a little stoicism every now and then would do us better.
I find that you don’t even always have to try to understand where an emotion comes from, just acknowledging that it is there and allowing it to be is enough. Great video
only it was so easy to ignore them, there are lots of places where you need to feel confident to do things ex: socializing. Even though i understand that i dont have to attach with an emotion , the problem is if i can detach from a -ve emotion and feel good, then its same as not have the emotino at all, so it become "suppression of emotion" instead of detaching from it. how can some detach from an emotion and not feel it, isnt it same has eliminating an emotion, who even has that kind of controll over emotion.
@@Thepankaz1 Control is not the point. The point is acceptance of the negative experience. This means, don't demand anything of yourself in which you think you ''need'' to feel something. If you think you need to feel confident to socialize, you are demanding a particular state of mind of yourself. The counterproductive effect will happen. Remember that feeling good, positive emotions, and positive states of mind aren't something you need control for to gain them back. They're something that you have already. They can come out of the mist, but only once you've accepted that they will sometimes return back to it. So if you go to a party and you feel like shit and like no one is going to like you... go to the event and expect nothing more than that. Don't try. Don't do anything because you think you should. Only thing you need to do, is take a first step out of the comfort zone and show up. Then if you do end up leaving after 1 hour because of no conversation and social anxiety coming up, then fine. At least you tried and there's always a next time.
yeah sometimes it just better to let it be and go away but sometimes different kind of action is needed like expressing the emotion, or working on yourself to deal with that emotion in a better way
"Mental unwellness is born out of an accumulation of unfelt feelings." So many people need to hear, read, and know this! A big majority of the people I know go through life without feeling the tough feelings, thinking ignoring the feelings that make you feel pain are just going to go away. No, they stay in us, constantly replicating and reproducing in unrelated interactions with people who did not cause us the hurt to begin with.
Feel is like Farts. You will feel uncomfortable if you hold it in. But fart is part of human nature human process You jsut have to Let it out and not hold it in. It’s not good for you
Such a right timing as usual. Growing up in an Asian upbringing setting, having mental illnesses is considered such a face-losing taboo, therefore we neglect it most of our lives. One of the most embarrassing panic attacks ever happened to me was in the end of a first date, which of course made all the charming evaporate in the guy's eyes. I decided to ask for help from a psychologist. I frantically talked to him in a crisis, that I was scared of becoming sb with mental problems, that I would end up hurting people because maybe I had some covert narcissism that I even wasn't aware of. I returned home waiting for the first therapy. By the meantime, I decided to read more, started to write a lot of stuff down: asking questions of what triggered me, what happened to me in the past, are those events justifiable. I left some unanswered either. I classified the emotions, gave them names, turned the emotions into some logic maps to argue with my mind. One week later I came to talk with the psychologist again and somehow all the harsh feelings of self-hatred were gone. "Mental unwellness is born out of an accumulation of unfelt feelings'. He claimed that I got nothing, that panic attacks happen also to mentally strong people and flashbacks of memories or traumas are not a part of my ID, not my personalities at all. That how quickly I turned from sb in mental breakdown to sb who looked calm and started to be more articulate is proof that we actually have all the answers and needed emotions in our head. We just need to use them right. For the first time in my life, I feel healed and raise my hopes high again. Also thanks to this channel. This school of life is a treasure.
Also remember to not hold into limited emotions and let it determine our character. We're creatures that can feel lot of emotions and need to learn to control them. By living in the moment
@My Many people are terrified of feeling natural emotions and so they repress, suppress or avoid them instead. We need to go into our emotions and really feel them before letting them go.
Our bodies hold stories untold, waiting for us to listen. By tuning in and embracing our physical sensations, we unlock a deeper understanding of ourselves 🙏
@@momo-gc7ii It's a special feeling to know my words found a place in someone's journal. Thank you for sharing that with me 🌸 Wish you all the best! ❤
Thank you, Alain. Your voice and delivery is always so moving and it adds a lot to an already brilliant script. I'm not sure you realise that. The last sentence hit me right in the heart.
All videos and animations are excellent, but I believe the animators of this one did an exceptionally great job at visually expressing the concepts and ideas of the narrator. Bravo!
I love the illustration of how we process the good emotions that we experience throughout our lives, but get stuck with the negative ones we dont know how to process, perhaps to the point that we cannot handle any new emotions, causing us to mislead ourselves in to believing that negative emotions are all we have. Emotions dont necessarily reflect reality, and I think it is the sadly common notion that we should regard our emotions as incapable of deception. Dont seek to bend reality because you feel a certain way. Certainly don't be too rigid with them either, but seek to find that flexible middle. Thank you School of Life for helping put words to important lessons too often left to chance or "don't worry, it'll come to you naturally".
Pain in the leg (From scratching- eczema). Achiness in the right shoulder blade. Bloatedness in the stomach (Eating beyond requirements and late in the evening). Weight in my arms and legs. I think my body is saying it needs time to digest, to relax... to sleep! Nice video by the way- I appreciate it. I watched it shortly after watching After Skool's- The power of Radical Honesty, which ties in somewhat with yours- being authentic and honest about our experiences.
Brilliant and profound. Rather than proceed from a philosophical position such as, say, "I think therefore I am," human beings would be much better served to operate from emotional/sensory position: "I feel therefore I am." My therapist claims that Dr. Van der Kolk's book, The Body Keeps the Score, quite literally "changed the world" of psychology and psychiatry. It is just taking time (more than a decade) for people to catch up with all that it means and exactly what to do about that. The idea that the "voice in our heads" which we think of as "us" could be at odds with the apparatus in which the brain is "housed" is truly astounding. I don't know much for certain, but I am pretty sure that in ANY contest between the voice in the head and the body, the body will win every single time. The body registers and responds to sights, sounds, smells, etc. that the "mind" does not even notice...until too late. The body's primary objective is to survive to see another day, even if the existence that the individual is "enjoying" is bleak. The body is an elegant machine and is also a system of which the brain is only one part. You guys and gals laid all of that out very well. Thank you. : )
EFT (emotional freedom technique) tapping and meditation has helped me immensely with getting to the root of my negative emotions. therapy helps of course, but incorporating these self-healing rituals has reminded me that i have autonomy, sovereignty, and agency when it comes to shaping my destiny. thank you School of Life for another soul enriching video!
@@firstnamelastname9485 thank you for asking! i found these tools through a friend and practiced with her (she’s a certified EFT practitioner) and i ended up getting certified after we practiced together. it’s amazing how it works!!
The last line is very true. I now prioritize journaling and meditation but still find myself wanting to do everything but allowing time for quiet introspection.
Besides lying in bed at twilight, with no one around to disturb whatever thoughts may come unbidden to help uncover and process deeply felt emotions, I find taking a daily walk also helps immensely. The act of walking (without staring at a phone) somehow frees the mind to wander freely and ponder whatever it wants. Often, I retread the same old ground and emotions, especially if a major event or wound has happened (which it has recently). But over weeks (and after listening to numerous YT coaching videos), sometimes a real breakthrough or shift occurs. During some walks, I've actually felt mental and emotional processing going on in my body. More than once, some startling insights have emerged that I never expected and that have started to shift my thinking (or, at least, given me new avenues to consider). Some of these insights are original, not directly gained from a YT video but maybe tangentially inspired by it. I'm sharing some of my own insights in comments on YT channels (such as this current comment). 😀
Intriguing video. I wish to contribute an additional insight for those dedicated individuals who are willing to allocate 15 minutes each day to navigate through their emotions. It is imperative not to shy away from the prospect of re-experiencing the traumas that may have been inflicted due to past incidents. Instead, summon your inner strength and fortitude, allowing your mind to meticulously unravel the intricate tapestry of the traumatic incident. In doing so, one can embark on a journey of profound self-discovery and resilience.
After months of planning on how to say sorry to my lover, I finally got his silence as my answer, today. I feel good, but I feel grief. Just a deep, yet tender grief that is somehow making me smile and, at other times making me tear up. Yah,
So I turned to my inner child and I harshly said "Listen..." at that moment. I regretted it, then, instead of being like all the adults had been around her. I asked her "What are you holding inside?". She burst out crying and she cried and cried and cried. No, she wailed, like the child she was. Such a brave strong little girl, holding emotions that were way too big for her body so she built a barrier: A body that could hold them. A body that has been holding them since. All because no one had asked her how she felt.
I genuinely don’t understand how knowing how you feel and why you feel like something can help you change/process it… for eg I’m grieving the loss of my mother, who has been my only family for 30 years, she has Alzheimer’s now.. no amount of acknowledging the anxiety and pain and loneliness helps me.. instead i have to eventually distract myself with something else as I know these emotions threaten to overwhelm me.
@@mm1234bb it is different for each individual, but the way I see you know what you are felling and because that is nothing to do with all the pain of grieving it is better to distract yourself
This video has a perfect timing ! I was feeling very bad today because all of my closest friend forgot my birthday for the first time and I'm doing my best to handle my emotions in order to put words about my feeling. Yes, I know it can sound childish. P.s. sorry for the bad english, it is not my native langage.
As I said so many times in so many videos of the channel before. This is ehat I needed today. Specifically today becaise it validates what I just did. I've just written un my "electronic diary" hoe guilty I feel in front of the idea of becoming more succesful and happy than my mother and sibblings. It is so much easy to ackowledge our fear of failure and not accomplishing our dreams, than it is to ackowledge that you might actually fear accomplishing what you dream because it might hurt the feelings of those you love! Edit:...and it is inly when you actually facethe possibility of accomplishing that what you longed for that you can see that your greater anxiety is not to fail at it but rather to succeed! All the time you spend procrastinating it does not provide clarity on the real reason for procrastination.
I love that joy was at the bottom of the list as the character processed their emotions. Unfortunately by running from one that overwhelmed them, they never got to experience the joy.
this channel and many of it's videos have been like a little hauler truck, helping me move some of the weight that's been building up into a burden. thank you :)
There might also be a struggle of de-tangling said emotions in a busy environment that will require attention, so it might be best to lay low in such cases until a comfortable place is reached.
A simple concept of feel the feeling is so under rated in today's time, no one gives it full importance that it deserves in the rat race and speeding time, our body is full of stuck emotions, feelings and energies that makes us sick. Sometime stored traumas may be inter-generational trauma is there in the body. The best is not waste much time to look for the reason for these feelings, simply feel them fully in each inch of your body and embrace it be accepting of it, acknowledge it and talk to it, tell them that you may be part of me, and I have no problems in coming to you and sit with you many times. The whole world is pursuing happiness feelings, and in the backyard dumping all red flag feeling and they do not go away from backyard they haunt us and then we are clueless why I am feeling sad.
I have always struggled with anger , resentments, and unforgiveness. I have been working on it with a therapist and 12 step sponsor, and it is getting better. I was told that resentments only hurt you, not the wrongdoers. I had to write down my resentments and how they affected me to see the damage to motivate me to let go. I also had to write down my part in the resentments so I could see where i was in the wrong, make amends, change behaviors, build my character and reconcile relationships if appropriate. Obviously there are some situations you don't play a part like if you were abused. I really get into psychology and human behavior so I like to understand why people act how they do for example mental illness. It helps to have compassion on them and to wish them well. This is NOT justifying or condoning it just helps to understand, have compassion, and wish them well. Its also not good to get revenge, not only because of consequence but they will get their karma and there will be justice. If it motivates them to change and make anends be happy for them.
Really fucked up last night. Suddenly felt little bit mad, anxious, and sad but i didn't know where was it coming from. Why or even what was going on with me. I let my hands move by itself, writing but all i did just wrote despondent things. I kept doing it for an hour, writing and writing. Didn't have time to digest what i truly feel and suddenly i am tired and go to sleep. I do think i ignore my feeling, the unwanted one bcs it's too painful if i bringing up that feeling into daily life. My life is sucks enough, so i thought being emotional gotta make my day even worst. To let me untied all those feelings in rl made me scared I'll become fragile even more. Woke up on the evening, i watched this video, (yesterday i saw tsol updated but not watched it straight away), made me realize that I should stop my activity even my mind for little bit to asked myself what am i feeling today and why i feel anxious than just wrote all the emotion without being present and conscious.
I feel burdened by my previous lack of planning. I feel anguished at the sight of my ill mother (whom I've hated for years, may I add...). I feel at a loss, yet strangely still afloat. I hope this makes sense somehow.
It may take a long time for someone to learn how to be aware of their emotions, what may cause them, and how to adequately respond to them -- it is important to be kind to and have patience for yourself! ❤
I love these videos and the community whose comments are so rich(and sometimes challenging;) Two commenters (so far) have made note of the last sentence which went passed me without my noticing. It didn't land because this is how i have been and will continue to spend my early retirement. I am so privileged to get to see what emerges as i gently probe the darker corners of my psyche ❤🎉❤
So much wisdom! You should have these videos translated into other major languages, so that I could share these with my non-English speaking friends. I volunteer for translation into Italian ❤
The clarity and insight of this content are notable. A book with related subjects enriched my thought process. "Kindness Unveiled: A Journey to a Happier Life" by why i live a happy life
All person need to ask themselves this questions. Sometimes, I ask myself: what am I feeling now? What did my body feeling. And, why am I sad. Why do I cry. This is help for us.
Great Illustration! The bad feeling should be expressed clearly in a written or verbal way. E.g., I feel anxious because..... then, this emotional state should be acknowledged. DON'T PUSH IT AWAY AND DON'T BURY IT FOR LATER INNER DISCUSSION. Face it and consider it part of your whole well-being.
The troublesome anticipation of crappiness wasn't what happened today. Rather, it was absolutely drowning. Such a critical and "means a lot" scenario I had to ace & the force of nature diverted it, making it all untimely experience I would never forget. And this video, just like 2 other posts before this, are in the +ve direction but the "but" of being a human sucks until he/she gets the overall outcome that'd be taking a month from now (sighs).
It often seems like "I" am actually "we", with my conscious self merely the custodian to a multitude of muted and conjoined twin selves. And it sometimes feels like a number of them don't like me much. They would've preferred someone else was in charge of our life.
I learned and have been speaking english for over 16 years now, but still sometimes I need to look up more than 4 unknown words per sentence of yours. Not only learning about some views of life here, but also how to express oneself in a refined manner, and when in doubt pinky out.
I don't think it is healthy and helpful to separate our emotions in this 2 category- positive and negative. When we say something is negative then we give bad connotation, not normal. All emotions are important. It is healthy to feel all the emotions. Let's give ourselves the permission to feel. And maybe instead of "negative" and "positive", we can say comfortable and uncomfortable emotions 🤓🤷🏻♀️
Perhaps the "negative emotions" classification does not necessarily mean "they are not useful". They describe the psychological state those emotions send us into when we experience them. We cannot deceive ourselves into overlooking that fact. For indeed, sadness is not joy, and anxiety is not serenity or trust; and that is what nature is.
@@simoni6770 I prefer to not use "negative". It is my personal choice. We need a balance in our emotional state, indeed in order to think clearly. When we are caught in the fight or flight state we cannot think clearly. Emotional regulation can bring us the clarity and the peace of mind.
If you prefer not to dichotomise emotions, what other ways would you describe emotions? There are most certainly positive and negative ones, but what other ways would you prefer to describe emotions?
@@joshuabenton3785 As someone who for several decades lived with the long lasting consequences of severe childhood emotional neglect and emotional abuse, I want to understand the importance of human emotions. I believe that the way we speak about something matters. We are capable to describe better what are we feeling. Negative- positive, good- bad, wrong-right, black- white? Let's go outside the box and use our imagination🌌 Let's explore with kindness and curiosity our inner world...
I literally want something like this as I just passed my high school with not so much good grades despite of the hard work that I did back during the preparation time.After the results were announced I panicked a lot and tried to do something really harmful for me...
THANK YOU for taking the scripted ending segment out. I find it so much more powerful that the last words are followed by silence. Also, anticipating the scripted ending after the last words gave me a bit of anxiety.
0:42 stuck in exactly this situation i have my final exam tomorrow morning and I wasted whole day feeling sad negative and sitting on table hardly studied anything and feeling hopeless instead trying, I want to try but I just couldn't.😖
There is one thing to take into consideration if you drown out your brain with constant stimuli, there won't be any space left for feeling, so perhaps leave yourself moments of nothingness during the days so that your emotions may arise? They have to be long enough and if you're used to being continuously distracted, then the first feeling that will come over you is grave discomfort, unease and maybe even anxiety, you need to go past this in order to connect with your feeling.
Alan de Botton is the father of emotional education in our time. Every day I am looking forward to his work. If a friend asks me for some emotional advice, I say to them: "Meet Alan de Botton and his School of Life" .
It feels lonely and dystopian often seeing many people each dropping a personal comment to videos like this but no one is really communicating with each other any further. Just many isolated statements out into nothingness 😕
@@skemsen This is exactly how I feel about the internet and social media in recent years. Everybody who is "posting" is screaming into the void, trying to find validation and meaning for their existence from the rest of the world, but it's like nobody is actually listening to each other, it's just sad. All the oversharing, that most people are doing, which seems very narcissist at first glance is actually masked existential dread in my opinion. So for example when people post holiday photos or opinions about something going on in the world, what I actually see are desperate cries: "I am worth it, right?", "My life has meaning, right?", "Everything is going to be okay, right, Right?"
@@mariorad529 Thank you for that reply from "the void" 😉 Kind of weird because that is precisely how my brother recently described it, and he has almost started hating the internet + social media of course. I always saw it as a fantastic envention like a digital rebirth of the ancient Great Library of Alexandria. Now I'm not so sure anymore. The other day in the news in my country they were talking about the future advantages of AI with suggestions of helping our dysfunctional and run down psychiatric system by using AI for patients to communicate with. Seems like a perverse idea to me like we're just making it worse with humans getting more disconnected from each other 😧
@@skemsen Pleasure is mine. :) I feel exactly the same way as your brother and also had the same initial view as you did about the internet. AI helping people with mental illnesses sounds very perverse indeed and only perpetuates the reason why a lot of people might need this kind of help in the first place - lack of genuine human connection. A lot of life already feels artificial without the "intelligence" in it if you spend too much time in the digital world. If this AI infects the majority of life as some people suspect, it wouldn't be possible to tell if anything on the internet is real anymore, it's difficult already. Looks like I might be going back to a flip phone soon and give it up entirely haha.
Asking the question how I'm feeling now might be important, but it's also (if not more) important to answer that question with honesty not in denial.
Of course - honesty is always key here.
@@theschooloflifetv sometimes it's hard to answer the question honestly though :/
That is the most difficult bit!
the current state of the western society derives directly from asking ourselves that question too often and answering it sincerely every time, a little stoicism every now and then would do us better.
I try to relax and observe what's happening with the body to see how I'm feeling now.
I find that you don’t even always have to try to understand where an emotion comes from, just acknowledging that it is there and allowing it to be is enough. Great video
Absolutely!
only it was so easy to ignore them, there are lots of places where you need to feel confident to do things ex: socializing. Even though i understand that i dont have to attach with an emotion , the problem is if i can detach from a -ve emotion and feel good, then its same as not have the emotino at all, so it become "suppression of emotion" instead of detaching from it. how can some detach from an emotion and not feel it, isnt it same has eliminating an emotion, who even has that kind of controll over emotion.
@@Thepankaz1 Control is not the point. The point is acceptance of the negative experience. This means, don't demand anything of yourself in which you think you ''need'' to feel something. If you think you need to feel confident to socialize, you are demanding a particular state of mind of yourself. The counterproductive effect will happen.
Remember that feeling good, positive emotions, and positive states of mind aren't something you need control for to gain them back. They're something that you have already. They can come out of the mist, but only once you've accepted that they will sometimes return back to it.
So if you go to a party and you feel like shit and like no one is going to like you... go to the event and expect nothing more than that. Don't try. Don't do anything because you think you should. Only thing you need to do, is take a first step out of the comfort zone and show up. Then if you do end up leaving after 1 hour because of no conversation and social anxiety coming up, then fine. At least you tried and there's always a next time.
yeah sometimes it just better to let it be and go away but sometimes different kind of action is needed like expressing the emotion, or working on yourself to deal with that emotion in a better way
"Mental unwellness is born out of an accumulation of unfelt feelings." So many people need to hear, read, and know this! A big majority of the people I know go through life without feeling the tough feelings, thinking ignoring the feelings that make you feel pain are just going to go away. No, they stay in us, constantly replicating and reproducing in unrelated interactions with people who did not cause us the hurt to begin with.
Feel is like Farts.
You will feel uncomfortable if you hold it in.
But fart is part of human nature human process
You jsut have to Let it out and not hold it in. It’s not good for you
📌📌📌
:(
Can you say how to 'feel' the feelings?
🎉 so true
Such a right timing as usual. Growing up in an Asian upbringing setting, having mental illnesses is considered such a face-losing taboo, therefore we neglect it most of our lives. One of the most embarrassing panic attacks ever happened to me was in the end of a first date, which of course made all the charming evaporate in the guy's eyes. I decided to ask for help from a psychologist. I frantically talked to him in a crisis, that I was scared of becoming sb with mental problems, that I would end up hurting people because maybe I had some covert narcissism that I even wasn't aware of. I returned home waiting for the first therapy. By the meantime, I decided to read more, started to write a lot of stuff down: asking questions of what triggered me, what happened to me in the past, are those events justifiable. I left some unanswered either. I classified the emotions, gave them names, turned the emotions into some logic maps to argue with my mind.
One week later I came to talk with the psychologist again and somehow all the harsh feelings of self-hatred were gone. "Mental unwellness is born out of an accumulation of unfelt feelings'. He claimed that I got nothing, that panic attacks happen also to mentally strong people and flashbacks of memories or traumas are not a part of my ID, not my personalities at all. That how quickly I turned from sb in mental breakdown to sb who looked calm and started to be more articulate is proof that we actually have all the answers and needed emotions in our head. We just need to use them right.
For the first time in my life, I feel healed and raise my hopes high again.
Also thanks to this channel. This school of life is a treasure.
🧡🧡🧡
Great
All of us have a "bad" side, trauma, or past. The point isn't to push the bad stuff away, it's to make room for it, live with it.
glad you've stopped identifying as a spirit breaker. if anything, be a tidehunter
I feel I've tons of unfelt feelings too, how do I start getting them in order from scratch? I got no clue.
Also remember to not hold into limited emotions and let it determine our character. We're creatures that can feel lot of emotions and need to learn to control them. By living in the moment
Examining our emotions is the single best way - perhaps the only way - of releasing ourselves from their grasp.
Facts🤝 also it got a little stoic-tically hahah
@My Many people are terrified of feeling natural emotions and so they repress, suppress or avoid them instead. We need to go into our emotions and really feel them before letting them go.
Emotions cannot be controlled. Only behavior can be controlled.
@@JulesyoutooI don't think people avoid emotions out of fear, but rather because emotions aren't very helpful.
Our bodies hold stories untold, waiting for us to listen. By tuning in and embracing our physical sensations, we unlock a deeper understanding of ourselves 🙏
I love what you said here so much I wrote it in my journal. 😏
@@momo-gc7ii It's a special feeling to know my words found a place in someone's journal. Thank you for sharing that with me 🌸
Wish you all the best! ❤
As I get older, I’m becoming better at giving myself time to identify my emotions, so I can process them better. It’s a work in progress.
How do you “process” them?
Thank you, Alain. Your voice and delivery is always so moving and it adds a lot to an already brilliant script. I'm not sure you realise that. The last sentence hit me right in the heart.
All videos and animations are excellent, but I believe the animators of this one did an exceptionally great job at visually expressing the concepts and ideas of the narrator. Bravo!
« We seem to have so much time for everything, except for what can save us ». WOW 😳
I love the illustration of how we process the good emotions that we experience throughout our lives, but get stuck with the negative ones we dont know how to process, perhaps to the point that we cannot handle any new emotions, causing us to mislead ourselves in to believing that negative emotions are all we have.
Emotions dont necessarily reflect reality, and I think it is the sadly common notion that we should regard our emotions as incapable of deception. Dont seek to bend reality because you feel a certain way. Certainly don't be too rigid with them either, but seek to find that flexible middle.
Thank you School of Life for helping put words to important lessons too often left to chance or "don't worry, it'll come to you naturally".
What are you feeling now? Let us know in the comments
Feeling good!
Pain in the leg (From scratching- eczema). Achiness in the right shoulder blade. Bloatedness in the stomach (Eating beyond requirements and late in the evening). Weight in my arms and legs. I think my body is saying it needs time to digest, to relax... to sleep! Nice video by the way- I appreciate it. I watched it shortly after watching After Skool's- The power of Radical Honesty, which ties in somewhat with yours- being authentic and honest about our experiences.
Cautiously optimistic... lol
@@jayHVamAfterskool is a fabulous YT channel ^_^
I feel angry and dissapointed in myself
Alan's voice and manner of delivery are simply fascinating. The last sentence hit hard.😢
Thanks
Mental unwellness comes from a series of unfelt emotions... wow mind-blowing.
Brilliant and profound. Rather than proceed from a philosophical position such as, say, "I think therefore I am," human beings would be much better served to operate from emotional/sensory position: "I feel therefore I am." My therapist claims that Dr. Van der Kolk's book, The Body Keeps the Score, quite literally "changed the world" of psychology and psychiatry. It is just taking time (more than a decade) for people to catch up with all that it means and exactly what to do about that. The idea that the "voice in our heads" which we think of as "us" could be at odds with the apparatus in which the brain is "housed" is truly astounding. I don't know much for certain, but I am pretty sure that in ANY contest between the voice in the head and the body, the body will win every single time. The body registers and responds to sights, sounds, smells, etc. that the "mind" does not even notice...until too late. The body's primary objective is to survive to see another day, even if the existence that the individual is "enjoying" is bleak. The body is an elegant machine and is also a system of which the brain is only one part. You guys and gals laid all of that out very well. Thank you. : )
The quality of the content is brilliant. The intonation of the speaker + accurate illustration makes a powerful impact. 🙌🏽
最後のチョコレートの話、とても素敵です。
私も好きな人と自分から別れました。あのまま関係を続けても健全な関係にならないと分かったからです。
最近、心地いいなーて思ってる事をしてると幸せだなと実感してます。
まだまだ時間はかかりますが、自分の時間とエネルギーを大切にして過ごします🎵
EFT (emotional freedom technique) tapping and meditation has helped me immensely with getting to the root of my negative emotions. therapy helps of course, but incorporating these self-healing rituals has reminded me that i have autonomy, sovereignty, and agency when it comes to shaping my destiny. thank you School of Life for another soul enriching video!
If I may ask are these techniques something you did on your own or did you find a therapist for these?
@@firstnamelastname9485 thank you for asking! i found these tools through a friend and practiced with her (she’s a certified EFT practitioner) and i ended up getting certified after we practiced together. it’s amazing how it works!!
The last line is very true. I now prioritize journaling and meditation but still find myself wanting to do everything but allowing time for quiet introspection.
I need to watch this video daily for at least a week. Very helpful. Thank you.
Am glad this narrator came back.From now on,I'll be commenting this in all his new uploads.He has a soothing haunting voice.
Thanks!
Besides lying in bed at twilight, with no one around to disturb whatever thoughts may come unbidden to help uncover and process deeply felt emotions, I find taking a daily walk also helps immensely.
The act of walking (without staring at a phone) somehow frees the mind to wander freely and ponder whatever it wants. Often, I retread the same old ground and emotions, especially if a major event or wound has happened (which it has recently).
But over weeks (and after listening to numerous YT coaching videos), sometimes a real breakthrough or shift occurs. During some walks, I've actually felt mental and emotional processing going on in my body.
More than once, some startling insights have emerged that I never expected and that have started to shift my thinking (or, at least, given me new avenues to consider).
Some of these insights are original, not directly gained from a YT video but maybe tangentially inspired by it. I'm sharing some of my own insights in comments on YT channels (such as this current comment). 😀
Intriguing video. I wish to contribute an additional insight for those dedicated individuals who are willing to allocate 15 minutes each day to navigate through their emotions. It is imperative not to shy away from the prospect of re-experiencing the traumas that may have been inflicted due to past incidents. Instead, summon your inner strength and fortitude, allowing your mind to meticulously unravel the intricate tapestry of the traumatic incident. In doing so, one can embark on a journey of profound self-discovery and resilience.
Wow!
The stability of indifference... the contentment of stability... the joy of contentment...
I’m feeling grateful, stressed and hopeful all at the same time.
After months of planning on how to say sorry to my lover, I finally got his silence as my answer, today. I feel good, but I feel grief. Just a deep, yet tender grief that is somehow making me smile and, at other times making me tear up. Yah,
Thank you. I really needed this. I want to be set free
So being mindful is the key here. Examining your own thoughts.
So I turned to my inner child and I harshly said "Listen..." at that moment. I regretted it, then, instead of being like all the adults had been around her. I asked her "What are you holding inside?". She burst out crying and she cried and cried and cried. No, she wailed, like the child she was. Such a brave strong little girl, holding emotions that were way too big for her body so she built a barrier: A body that could hold them. A body that has been holding them since. All because no one had asked her how she felt.
My problem is how aware i am of my emotions, sometimes i just want to fell nothing and thats where i tend to dangerous thoughts
I genuinely don’t understand how knowing how you feel and why you feel like something can help you change/process it… for eg I’m grieving the loss of my mother, who has been my only family for 30 years, she has Alzheimer’s now.. no amount of acknowledging the anxiety and pain and loneliness helps me.. instead i have to eventually distract myself with something else as I know these emotions threaten to overwhelm me.
@@mm1234bb it is different for each individual, but the way I see you know what you are felling and because that is nothing to do with all the pain of grieving it is better to distract yourself
Numbness is also a feeling
This video has a perfect timing ! I was feeling very bad today because all of my closest friend forgot my birthday for the first time and I'm doing my best to handle my emotions in order to put words about my feeling.
Yes, I know it can sound childish.
P.s. sorry for the bad english, it is not my native langage.
Here's wishing you a very happy birthday, MrR. 🤗
Happy Birthday 🎉
@@Julesyoutoo Thank You ! ❤️
@@kaleena3846 Thank You as well ! ❤️
happy birthday!
As I said so many times in so many videos of the channel before. This is ehat I needed today. Specifically today becaise it validates what I just did. I've just written un my "electronic diary" hoe guilty I feel in front of the idea of becoming more succesful and happy than my mother and sibblings. It is so much easy to ackowledge our fear of failure and not accomplishing our dreams, than it is to ackowledge that you might actually fear accomplishing what you dream because it might hurt the feelings of those you love!
Edit:...and it is inly when you actually facethe possibility of accomplishing that what you longed for that you can see that your greater anxiety is not to fail at it but rather to succeed! All the time you spend procrastinating it does not provide clarity on the real reason for procrastination.
I love that joy was at the bottom of the list as the character processed their emotions. Unfortunately by running from one that overwhelmed them, they never got to experience the joy.
This video reminded me of Rumi's poem, "The Guest House". Thank you so much for your work ❤
this channel and many of it's videos have been like a little hauler truck, helping me move some of the weight that's been building up into a burden. thank you :)
Penumbra (eclipse)
Like a landscape appearing at the slow break of a summer day.
So beautiful.
I think I'm in love.
There might also be a struggle of de-tangling said emotions in a busy environment that will require attention, so it might be best to lay low in such cases until a comfortable place is reached.
A simple concept of feel the feeling is so under rated in today's time, no one gives it full importance that it deserves in the rat race and speeding time, our body is full of stuck emotions, feelings and energies that makes us sick. Sometime stored traumas may be inter-generational trauma is there in the body. The best is not waste much time to look for the reason for these feelings, simply feel them fully in each inch of your body and embrace it be accepting of it, acknowledge it and talk to it, tell them that you may be part of me, and I have no problems in coming to you and sit with you many times. The whole world is pursuing happiness feelings, and in the backyard dumping all red flag feeling and they do not go away from backyard they haunt us and then we are clueless why I am feeling sad.
I have always struggled with anger , resentments, and unforgiveness. I have been working on it with a therapist and 12 step sponsor, and it is getting better. I was told that resentments only hurt you, not the wrongdoers. I had to write down my resentments and how they affected me to see the damage to motivate me to let go. I also had to write down my part in the resentments so I could see where i was in the wrong, make amends, change behaviors, build my character and reconcile relationships if appropriate. Obviously there are some situations you don't play a part like if you were abused. I really get into psychology and human behavior so I like to understand why people act how they do for example mental illness. It helps to have compassion on them and to wish them well. This is NOT justifying or condoning it just helps to understand, have compassion, and wish them well. Its also not good to get revenge, not only because of consequence but they will get their karma and there will be justice. If it motivates them to change and make anends be happy for them.
Really fucked up last night. Suddenly felt little bit mad, anxious, and sad but i didn't know where was it coming from. Why or even what was going on with me. I let my hands move by itself, writing but all i did just wrote despondent things.
I kept doing it for an hour, writing and writing. Didn't have time to digest what i truly feel and suddenly i am tired and go to sleep.
I do think i ignore my feeling, the unwanted one bcs it's too painful if i bringing up that feeling into daily life. My life is sucks enough, so i thought being emotional gotta make my day even worst. To let me untied all those feelings in rl made me scared I'll become fragile even more.
Woke up on the evening, i watched this video, (yesterday i saw tsol updated but not watched it straight away), made me realize that I should stop my activity even my mind for little bit to asked myself what am i feeling today and why i feel anxious than just wrote all the emotion without being present and conscious.
Thank you school of life ❤
I feel burdened by my previous lack of planning. I feel anguished at the sight of my ill mother (whom I've hated for years, may I add...). I feel at a loss, yet strangely still afloat.
I hope this makes sense somehow.
It may take a long time for someone to learn how to be aware of their emotions, what may cause them, and how to adequately respond to them -- it is important to be kind to and have patience for yourself! ❤
I love these videos and the community whose comments are so rich(and sometimes challenging;)
Two commenters (so far) have made note of the last sentence which went passed me without my noticing.
It didn't land because this is how i have been and will continue to spend my early retirement. I am so privileged to get to see what emerges as i gently probe the darker corners of my psyche ❤🎉❤
"We seem to have so much time for everything, except for what can save us" Wow
So much wisdom! You should have these videos translated into other major languages, so that I could share these with my non-English speaking friends. I volunteer for translation into Italian ❤
I think the same and I volunteer to make the subtitles in Spanish
What a fantastic idea, Barbara!
Do you think this video is really useful?
Gives this technique changes me for the better.❤
Honestly i needed to overcome a stalker today thank you for this video
your chanel has helped me so much. thank you and love you❤
The clarity and insight of this content are notable. A book with related subjects enriched my thought process. "Kindness Unveiled: A Journey to a Happier Life" by why i live a happy life
My emotions controlled me my entire life. I am finally through the help of stoicism learning to manage my emotions
My family: so how have you improved so much in just a few year? Me: school of life😊 thanks a hole lots
As always happens to me with TSOL, because the animations are sooo beautiful, I only focus on the words after the second watch. Very good, again.
This is a great summation, will return to this
All person need to ask themselves this questions. Sometimes, I ask myself: what am I feeling now? What did my body feeling. And, why am I sad. Why do I cry. This is help for us.
Great Illustration! The bad feeling should be expressed clearly in a written or verbal way. E.g., I feel anxious because..... then, this emotional state should be acknowledged. DON'T PUSH IT AWAY AND DON'T BURY IT FOR LATER INNER DISCUSSION. Face it and consider it part of your whole well-being.
Good one, I find I can achieve these ‘processings’ (for lack of a better) through meditation. Even just a 10min nap after lunch gives some insight.
Incredibly profound as always
The troublesome anticipation of crappiness wasn't what happened today. Rather, it was absolutely drowning. Such a critical and "means a lot" scenario I had to ace & the force of nature diverted it, making it all untimely experience I would never forget. And this video, just like 2 other posts before this, are in the +ve direction but the "but" of being a human sucks until he/she gets the overall outcome that'd be taking a month from now (sighs).
Thank you for the information ❤
It often seems like "I" am actually "we", with my conscious self merely the custodian to a multitude of muted and conjoined twin selves. And it sometimes feels like a number of them don't like me much. They would've preferred someone else was in charge of our life.
This was very informative in watching and seeing what and Joe to act when doing these things
Keep away from constant negative content on you-tube is great for contentment.
I needed that video 😊
Glad to hear it's arrived at the right time!
Nice topic for the day. Big like. Tnx 4sharing 👍
The animations in this video were amazing! Great job
I learned and have been speaking english for over 16 years now, but still sometimes I need to look up more than 4 unknown words per sentence of yours. Not only learning about some views of life here, but also how to express oneself in a refined manner, and when in doubt pinky out.
as always, through your videos you've found the right words that will stick with me for a long time ❤
Thank you for this. It was well presented, and more importantly - potentially life saving.
The animator did such a great job
so needed this
These videos are incredibly helpful and beautiful, ty
Nostalgie etc. is not a negative emotion. We need intelligents and emotions. They are two wings to fly...
I don't think it is healthy and helpful to separate our emotions in this 2 category- positive and negative. When we say something is negative then we give bad connotation, not normal. All emotions are important. It is healthy to feel all the emotions. Let's give ourselves the permission to feel. And maybe instead of "negative" and "positive", we can say comfortable and uncomfortable emotions 🤓🤷🏻♀️
Nicely put 🎉❤
Perhaps the "negative emotions" classification does not necessarily mean "they are not useful". They describe the psychological state those emotions send us into when we experience them. We cannot deceive ourselves into overlooking that fact. For indeed, sadness is not joy, and anxiety is not serenity or trust; and that is what nature is.
@@simoni6770 I prefer to not use "negative". It is my personal choice. We need a balance in our emotional state, indeed in order to think clearly. When we are caught in the fight or flight state we cannot think clearly. Emotional regulation can bring us the clarity and the peace of mind.
If you prefer not to dichotomise emotions, what other ways would you describe emotions? There are most certainly positive and negative ones, but what other ways would you prefer to describe emotions?
@@joshuabenton3785 As someone who for several decades lived with the long lasting consequences of severe childhood emotional neglect and emotional abuse, I want to understand the importance of human emotions. I believe that the way we speak about something matters. We are capable to describe better what are we feeling. Negative- positive, good- bad, wrong-right, black- white? Let's go outside the box and use our imagination🌌 Let's explore with kindness and curiosity our inner world...
Love this channel
Not only have I learnt lessons on how to deal with life but my vocabulary has considerably increased as well haha
Another episode, another chance to grow!
The animation work! ❤❤😮
I really want a new live i interview with Alain de Bottom! He wasn’t in public for a while now
I literally want something like this as I just passed my high school with not so much good grades despite of the hard work that I did back during the preparation time.After the results were announced I panicked a lot and tried to do something really harmful for me...
Hope your doing better ❤
I wouldn't feel anything negative at all if I wasn't in contact with people. My constant emotions are peace and calm
exceptional!
I think i have the opposite problem, i feel my feelings too much and am aware of them all the time such that i start to wallow in them
me too
Thank you!
What should I feel with this rhythm of narration!
I had a great day at work yesterday. Then this morning I woke up really sad for no reason.
THANK YOU for taking the scripted ending segment out. I find it so much more powerful that the last words are followed by silence. Also, anticipating the scripted ending after the last words gave me a bit of anxiety.
Just started doing this while journaling... and feels like my reality is changing idk
The pleasure of sharing food
Also good to ask yourself, ‘Do I want to feel this way’
This was excellent as always, but I wish it had explored how avoiding emotions leads to psychological problems, e.g. narcissism.
Just believe everything is natural. Thoughts are just thought they don't have meaning
0:42 stuck in exactly this situation i have my final exam tomorrow morning and I wasted whole day feeling sad negative and sitting on table hardly studied anything and feeling hopeless instead trying, I want to try but I just couldn't.😖
There is one thing to take into consideration if you drown out your brain with constant stimuli, there won't be any space left for feeling, so perhaps leave yourself moments of nothingness during the days so that your emotions may arise? They have to be long enough and if you're used to being continuously distracted, then the first feeling that will come over you is grave discomfort, unease and maybe even anxiety, you need to go past this in order to connect with your feeling.
Damn. This is good.
Great video!! This is very informative.
Alan de Botton is the father of emotional education in our time. Every day I am looking forward to his work. If a friend asks me for some emotional advice, I say to them: "Meet Alan de Botton and his School of Life" .
It feels lonely and dystopian often seeing many people each dropping a personal comment to videos like this but no one is really communicating with each other any further. Just many isolated statements out into nothingness 😕
YT has eliminated response notifications for most comments.
But I have noticed the same. Most people are hit and run commenters. Busy probably.
@@m2pozad Yeah. Busy. Might be it.
@@skemsen This is exactly how I feel about the internet and social media in recent years. Everybody who is "posting" is screaming into the void, trying to find validation and meaning for their existence from the rest of the world, but it's like nobody is actually listening to each other, it's just sad. All the oversharing, that most people are doing, which seems very narcissist at first glance is actually masked existential dread in my opinion. So for example when people post holiday photos or opinions about something going on in the world, what I actually see are desperate cries: "I am worth it, right?", "My life has meaning, right?", "Everything is going to be okay, right, Right?"
@@mariorad529 Thank you for that reply from "the void" 😉 Kind of weird because that is precisely how my brother recently described it, and he has almost started hating the internet + social media of course. I always saw it as a fantastic envention like a digital rebirth of the ancient Great Library of Alexandria. Now I'm not so sure anymore.
The other day in the news in my country they were talking about the future advantages of AI with suggestions of helping our dysfunctional and run down psychiatric system by using AI for patients to communicate with. Seems like a perverse idea to me like we're just making it worse with humans getting more disconnected from each other 😧
@@skemsen Pleasure is mine. :) I feel exactly the same way as your brother and also had the same initial view as you did about the internet. AI helping people with mental illnesses sounds very perverse indeed and only perpetuates the reason why a lot of people might need this kind of help in the first place - lack of genuine human connection. A lot of life already feels artificial without the "intelligence" in it if you spend too much time in the digital world. If this AI infects the majority of life as some people suspect, it wouldn't be possible to tell if anything on the internet is real anymore, it's difficult already. Looks like I might be going back to a flip phone soon and give it up entirely haha.