5 Questions to Ask Yourself Every Evening
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- Опубликовано: 16 май 2024
- It is estimated that some 70,000 separate thoughts hurry through consciousness from the moment we wake up to the time we slip into sleep. To help us understand those thoughts we've produced five questions to direct our minds to areas which we tend to neglect, and from where trouble can most intensely arise when we do so.
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“Our minds are some of the busiest places in the known universe. It is estimated that, under a deceptively calm exterior, some 70,000 separate thoughts hurry through consciousness from the moment we wake up to the time we slip into sleep - some of these elaborate and sequential, many more fragmentary and sensory by nature.
What these many thoughts have in common is that we seldom do them any kind of justice. The river of ideas and feelings is relentless, turbulent and chaotic. In a typical minute, we might briefly register that we are annoyed with a friend, then our minds are directed to a worry about a tax return, which is then quickly supplanted by the sighting of a raven, which makes us think of our grandmother, who evokes a trip we once took to Greece, which ushers in thoughts of some lip balm we need to purchase, which is then supplanted by a registering of a pain in our left knee, which is succeeded by a memory of a friend we lost touch with after university, which cedes to a recurring reflection on what kind of lamp we might invest in for the living room. And we might here still only be at the thirty second mark of what we casually call ‘thinking’ or just ‘gazing out of the window’…”
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5 questions to ask yourself every evening -
1) What am I really worried about?
2) What am I presently sad about?
3)Who has annoyed me and how?
4)What does my body want?
5)What is still lovely?
Thankyou !
How will this help me sleep!
@@cantbendknee😂
@@cantbendknee Lol right? These are the thoughts I'm NOT trying to have before bed so I don't spiral into depression
thankyou for putting things together
my overthinking can finally have ends of its spiral, and actually follow something for once
@@cantbendknee Not at all, but after thinking, put Alan Watts on and really try to follow his speeches and narratives. It works, I promise you!
If you begin to ask these questions consistently, please prepare yourself. Some of these questions can lead to a deep internal assessment and can bring up dormant emotions. This is not for the faint of heart but for those courageous enough for individuation.
I don't understand the 4th question
Not in this way, when I ask it to myself it's a really simple matter mostly, I feel I'm doing it wrong, but I don't know where
@@mattdragon333it means to connect your mind and body, to try to understand what your body is telling you by the way it feels. Listen to your body.
@WovenPsychology bold of you to assume any of us here have a heart!
(Because RUclips is swamped with bots)
I wonder if courage comes from facing troubles that are sort of lurking or loitering around the corner. If not, would softly asking these questions and lightly hold answers do?
You make individuation sound as difficult as giving birth. When it's not. It rediscovering who we really and what we really want or need are under the accretion of unrealistic expectations placed upon us, and those which we have placed upon ourselves. Once we are aware of those, the world may not have changed but how we see ourselves and the world will have. Undergoing this exercise regularly will only reveal what is there already:
"The Search creates Reality.
As long as you are asking questions, you are generating reality.
If you stop asking questions, you stop creating reality. You stagnate. You stay where you are."
This RUclips channel is going on my still lovely list
There is no clearer evidence of our maturity, than our capacity to explore the way that we and everybody else on the planet are as easily bruised and hurt as we are, as a child.”
3:16 "Stoicism and strength carry their own dangers" Thanks for saying that. People like throwing stoicism around like it's the ultimate philosophy, but it has downsides too (like emotional suppression/detachment, dismissing real suffering, and ignoring systemic causes of suffering).
Edit: for more in-depth discussions, look up the articles "Stoicism as a Fad and a Philosophy" (by Dr. Iskra Fileva, from Psychology Today), "A Critique of Stoicism" (by Dr. Michael R. Edelstein, from Psychology Today), and "The downsides of Stoicism" (by Jonny Thomson, from Big Think).
I agree, I use stoicism frequently when life becomes more than challenging but like any philosophy, there are weaknesses too.
Stoicism is a powerful tool to handle life's difficulties but it is hard to use Stoicism enough to get the job done but not to minimize all the positivism that life's potential has.
I have looked at Stoicism and it's younger cousin, existentialism as the, in case of emergencies, break glass thought process.
Neither has ever let me down when life was really bleak.
Appreciate you noticing it
Not sure you are interpreting Epictetus, et al, appropriately? ❤️🙏🌝
@@shawnteaney5254 If you want references, I can offer at least two that are easily accessible and which authors seem qualified enough to talk about the subject.
Psychology Today has an article called A Critique of Stoicism, by Michael R. Edelstein (Ph.D. in Psychology). He points out that "stoicism unrealistically recommends feeling neither negatively nor positively about those things we don’t control; I don't control the weather but it makes sense, given my preferences, to feel good about a sunny day and sad about an ice storm", which is the emotional suppression/detachment I mentioned. He also says "Stoicism holds that moral virtue is necessary and sufficient for happiness, but moral virtue does not cure depression" (so there are causes of suffering it's not properly dealing with).
Big Think has an article called The downsides of Stoicism, by Jonny Thomson (who "has taught philosophy in Oxford for more than a decade before turning to writing full-time"). He also points out the emotional detachment ("no friendship, no love") and how the excessive focus on self-sufficiency ("no man is an island") can lead to isolationism (and that's related to what I pointed out about ignoring systemic causes of suffering, since no one can solve systemic/sociological/economic issues by themselves).
This is a misinterptetation of stoicism. It doesn't encourage suppression of emotions and the things you listed at all, however it's being misused by the "masculine men" community and is being distorted and interpreted the way they think men should be. Stocism encourages having empathy and being a virtuous person. Accepting emotions but not letting it impact our reactions and choices in negative ways. It reminds us that the external world is out of our control, but we can choose how we respond to what happens. Some people seem to think this equals looking and seeming tough all the time but that is purely speculation of how they think they should be; not exactly what stocism is telling them to do. Please learn about things before you make actualized judgements of it as a truth
1) What am I really worried about?
2) What am I presently sad about?
3) Who has annoyed me and how?
4) What does my body want?
5) What is still lovely?
❤my overthinking finally has a lead(◡ ω ◡)
1) The decay of social interaction.
2) Being very lonely.
3) The dupers that are colleagues and people I used to look up to on RUclips (present company excluded).
4) More food than I give it (out of cosmetic reasons) and to feel satisfied with how I conduct my life.
5) Everything I can see within a quiet moment apart from the turn my life took.
EDIT: That's pretty much it for every night.
1 and 2 are linked. Lots of people in this situation due to the awful thing called social media.@@RemotelySkilled
1) The fact that I'm really behind on school and job stuff, but don't seem to be on a trajectory to make any progress or catch up because of bad choices. Aka I worry that I'm weak and lazy and will never be a productive and accomplished person.
2) That a certain friend still depends so much on me just to make it through each day, and isn't okay
3) A friend who kept me up too late. Also me who kept me up too late.
4) Sleep.
5) All these lovely videos I'm watching, exploring life skills and philosophical inquiries. My sweet supportive social network. My nice little solo apartment. My delicious burger that I properly cooked to perfection instead of reheating in the microwave for once.
"But stoicism and strength carry their own dangers" 👍
Watching a School of Life video while eating breakfast is one of the lovely things in my days 😊❤
I don't think I could bear this much emotional introspection every single day
Ok I tried it, it wasn't so bad
@@MsVorpalBladeand it gets better each day. Getting to know and understand yourself better, is always the best weapon against the difficulties in life. It lets us know which tools we have to face adversities, but at the same time is helps us learn about our vulnerabilities to, ultimately, learn how to heal and nourish ourselves.
It’s tough at the beginning, but it’s worth it.
😂 i know what you mean
But im gonna give it a try❤
Great little and appropriate video. As an older person I have always tried to think of theses questions as well .
- what am I tiring to achieve at the moment?
- what would I like to achieve?
- what can I improve upon/do better without going overboard or spending too much money?
- what small action/thing did I do today to help/improve somebody without asking for recompense/recognition?
- try to remember you can't cure all the ills of the world yourself.
- give credit (without criticism) to those who have earned it aproppriate to the action.
Sounds like the foundation for mindfulness and self reflection (or examination, dare I say). Excellent soundbite, thank you SoL.
As a long-term believer in the Stoic philosophy...I ask myself these naturally. Stoicism has helped me through much heartache.. I am a highly sensitive creative..and needed a philosophy to withstand the barrage of feelings from just living.. Stoicsm, and questions like these to self examine, have saved my heart and soul...
Same here !! 😊
Well said.
U like me. Wow.
I don't know how your videos are always on point on what i'm feeling right now. Thank you so much
I’m really thankful for this channel and I hope it never changes. Or gets caught up by capitalistic greed.
I watched it once
and I will watch it
a couple of more times
the next days.
Thank you for this content people behind this channel.. the world is full of trivial content nowadays, and quality is missing.. so I really appreciate this effort you put here, wether I agree or disagree; it's great.
This content has an enormous potential to tackle some of the most fundamental and most difficult questions of our bodies, lives, relations, and existence. Thank you, the SoL team.
Great video! I almost see it as a basis of therapy. My question still - what do you do after you realize things? Do you address your concerns to keep growing, evolving, trying to achieve happiness? When do you know it’s time to act and not suffer?I think I’m often torn between the pain of good things having to be hard and when is enough is enough and time for change
Thanks so much for this list, your videos always give me food for thought.
You found the source of peace and health! Great help!!!Thank you❤🧡💚💙💛
Thank you, again
Thank you for helping me in this confuse but grateful experience of getting to know myself!
I just did this and omg. My already daily practice is to think about 3 good things in life and what i am going to accomplish. This video opened a whole other side of the universe with acknowledging the bad, it feels freeing, thank you
Many thanks indeed!
Thank you!
Thank you. Warms my heart ♥
I love you, Alain. I truly do.
Thank you for everything.
I like the idea of a recap of the day in the evening. My problem with these question is, that 3 of them have focus on the negative. Our brains are like a sponge. The more we think about something, the more of that something gets soaked in. What I'm basically want to say is, that we train our brain with what we think about. If you think about positive thinks the majority of the time, you will become a positive person but if you focus more on the negative thinks, you will become negative. It is actually harder to focus on the positive, because the way our brain is wired, we actually focus more on the negative things in life. As an example: Lots of people forget compliments quite easily but think about critizism much longer.
I thought of this perspective also.
Yes but ignoring the negative completely and suppressing emotions that you don't like leads to toxic positivity and unconscious resentment. It's not about focusing on the negative, but giving yourself time and space to notice all your real emotions at the end of the day (the ones you don't allow yourself to express during thr day) so you don't unconsciously carry it around in the future.
BOOM. A very valuable point of view. I agree 100% with this.
There is no such thing as a negative emotion. They are neutral by design - communication between ourselves and the world. What we do with them can be positive or negative, however, and unexpressed or suppressed emotions can cause long-term issues. It's not happiness, joy or peace which tend to be suppressed or repressed, it's emotions such as anger, fear or sadness - which are often connected to deep, important things. Any effective process work contains awareness and acceptance of whatever emotion happens to be there. And health includes awareness, positive expression, and positive management of them all. Therefore, these questions encourage self-awareness and self-mastery, and provide a signpost to return to and be guided by during difficult times.
Well said! 🙌
Yes . Excellent advice. Thankyou
what makes me sad all the time is that I don't know how to get closer to people, I'm in constant fear of getting hurt, my past of abuse and mistreatment still keeping me away from people
Trust is certainly a delicate thing. I've had periods of years at a stretch where my ability to approach the world from a position of stability and trust was damaged by bad life experiences. I can't offer any solution, but I found some book recommendations that might be helpful.
"Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead" by Brené Brown - Brené Brown's work on vulnerability and shame can be incredibly healing for those who have difficulty opening up to others due to fear of hurt or rejection. This book encourages embracing vulnerability as a strength rather than a weakness.
"Healing the Shame that Binds You" by John Bradshaw - This book delves into the toxic shame that often results from abuse and mistreatment, offering strategies for overcoming negative self-perceptions and building self-esteem.
"Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help YouFind - and Keep - Love" by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller - This book could be particularly useful for understanding how past experiences shape our attachment styles, which in turn affect our relationships. It offers insight into developing healthier relationships through understanding one's own attachment style.
That’s perfectly understandable I’d say.
Don’t be too hard on yourself about that. Just take small steps, however that may work for you. You’ll get there in your own time.
Trauma treatment will help, but you'll need to step into it a bit. Moving with faith. As as been my experience.
Start with a pet you can love and trust unconditionally. Animals are gifts.
The more you get to know yourself, and be at peace with your loneliness and REALLY enjoy time on your own, the easier it is to attract others into your life. It's convenient because you only need yourself. You can't fake it, lots of deep breathing/meditation and exploring the world on your own. Lots of feeling suffering consciously. When you can do this your energy changes and when you meet someone your energy is so calm you can quickly tell if it's worth persuing a conversation ECT. Also, if no conversation arises throughout the day, you are at peace, because you've learnt to enjoy being and suffering on your own. Until you learn this you will never be at peace, even if you have 100 friends. The issue isn't connecting with others, it's connecting with yourself.
These are so nice for someone like me that doesn't know where to start or what to write in my journal
I love this channel with all my heart.
Wow watching every single school of life feels like picking up a diamond among the rubble, it feels like one of those life changing videos you only stumble on once in a blue moon, while watching this i felt my eyes welling up in sheer relief, of knowing what i have to do now. And having it explained to me in a way that resonates and reminds me that i am not alone. I feel like all the jumbled thoughts in my dramatically tragic and unnecessarily catastrophic, isolating mind can be put to words and straightened out into a clear diagnosis with steps.
Adding “heart from soL” as one of the still lovely things today ❤
Thank you so much 💜
Perfect.
Very pithy, and intimidating. To do this every night would be so emotionally hard for me, yet it seems quite reasonable and even curative.
Thank you ❤
Thank u guys for always!
I've been doing it spontaneously and naturally for years.
For me it's like brushing my teeth or having a shower.
For real this helps me a lot, thank you❤
Amazing video as usual, thank you.
Thank you!!
Thank you, dear School of Life. I will try it out. A very beautiful animation. Reminded me of the video for the song "once in a lifetime" by Talking Heads.
Also for your philosophical meditation the question about what is upsetting me or who is annoying me is always the most difficult for me. I often find myself quite annoying, rarely anybody else, whatever this says about me 🙈
But in general it has been a great help.
Loved your video! Totally get the childhood development aspect of the inner critic. It took me forever to realize it wasn't trying to be mean, it's just trying to help in it's own, dysfunctional way. Poor little guy is stressed out all the time trying to protect me because it thinks I'm still a child. It's heart is in the right place. Now when it pipes up, I look for the positive intention, thank it, give it love and compassion and it relaxes a bit and lets me do the thing. As a matter of fact, I started my own channel a few months ago and the critic was as loud as ever. But it was just trying to protect me from rejection. I thanked it, gave it compassion than started the channel anyway. This way of seeing the critic has been a game changer for me. Hope this makes sense. Anyway, great video!
This is 100% true I went through a very special experience regarding my uterus. I cannot type the entire complex thing here but I can guarantee through experience tha talking to our own physical body, body parts and organs individually works like magic. It worked for me.
Thanks!
Like so many of these videos, astonishingly useful. Thank you so much!
This is beautiful, thank you.
Dwelling on so much negativity can be toxic too, so not a good idea to do this every day, but once in a while to clear the system out.
Thank you, this was beautiful ❤️
I find it really disappointing that I get extremely distracted in the last ten seconds of these videos now with the way the end frames have been designed. I always feel I miss the most important point of the whole video because I'm being asked to subscribe or discover more or visit the App Store. I preferred the original ending where a voiceover asked you to look at these other resources after the video had finised.
This video was amazing. Thank you for making it.
Excellent, as always. Thank you. : )
Thank you!
I would rephrase the 5th question, i dont like the negative and dramatic energy behind it, it sounds depressing to me.
What if it wasn't a question, but rather, a reminder that everything actually IS lovely if you want it to be! Every morning you have the choice and power to manifest the desired energy for the day to come with its ups and downs, and how you will be present by VISUALIZING and feeling the energy of the visualization, It will manifest throughout the day!
Finally a longer video. Please keep making longer videos instead of just 2 minute videos
I tried to come up with a variation of this list that has rhyming endings ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
1) Worries?
2) Emotional Injuries?
3) Social Injuries?
4) Bodily Inquiries?
5) Lovely Thingies?
Thank you for your helpful videos, you have made a profound idea simple: A mature mind doesn’t have to be ‘intellectual’, it has only to be honest with self in the most direct way.
I love this
Belief is the foundation of ignorance. If one speaks or writes that which is not true, they are either ignoring what is true, or they are nescient of what is true. If they are knowingly speaking or writing what is not true then they are obvious in lying. If they are unknowingly speaking or writing what is not true then they are not obvious in lying, but they are still lying. The part where they cannot be excused for merely being mistaken is in the belief that they are speaking or writing what is true. To believe is to accept a thing as true without further questioning. Our species has an Intellect and this is the part of the Mind that forms questions. It is by silencing or ignoring a part of what we are that belief is even possible. Ignoring what we are cannot be excused.
The path to knowledge is a quest and each of us pays our own way. The currency on the path to knowledge is questions and questions are earned through learning and thinking. Questions are a process. Belief negates questioning and is therefore intellectual bankruptcy. Question relentlessly until you know what is true.
"Truth is always relative to the closed system it exists within. Existence is, in the strictest sense, a closed system. There are truths within existence that are true and there are truths within existence that are not true. Truth can only exist in a closed system and may or may not be true outside of that closed system, not therein. Truth is that which men and women convey through Voice and Word. One's offered truth may or may not be true. Truth and true are not the same word, and subsequently, truth and true are not the same thing. True is that which can be shown in words through at least one question and its exact answer. That which can be shown in words can subsequently be seen by all men and women.
In the closed system of the Catholic Church of four hundred years ago, the truth was that our planet was the centre of a geocentric planetary system. Galileo posited that our planet was a part of a heliocentric solar system and spent the last years of his life under house arrest as a consequence of going against the truth of the Church. The Church has since changed its truth to the heliocentric solar system model."
- Goho-tekina Otoko
"Most of what we are is non physical, though, our lowest form is physical. All life on our planet has the lowest form, the Body. Our Body is an Animal and the other type of Body on our planet is a Plant. Bodies are bound absolutely to Natural Law, which is the lowest form of true Law. Natural Law is a localised form of Law and is derived from the Laws of Nature. Natural Law is the finite and specific foundational control structure ordering the actions and interactions of species, members of species, and the material sources of a planet.
The lowest non physical form of what we are is the Mind, which is a Process. There are other forms of life on our planet that have both a Body and a Mind, however, so far as we currently know, there are no Plants and only some Animals that have a Body and a Mind. The lowest forms of Mind, Instinct and Emotion, are predominantly bound to Natural Law. The next higher form of Mind is Intellect which is bound predominantly to the Laws of Nature. Intuition, the highest form of Mind, can be bound or not to both Natural Law and the Laws of Nature separately or together, or to higher forms of Law altogether. Intuition is the truest guide for our Selves.
The next non physical form of what we are is the Self, which is an Awareness. There are relatively few other forms of life on our planet that have a Self. The Self is not bound to any form of Law other than One's Own Law. It is the only form of Law that cannot be violated.
The foundation of what we are is the highest non physical form of what we are. The highest form of what we are is the Being, which is an Existence. The Being is not bound to any form of Law originating within Existence. The Being is bound absolutely to The Law.
Existence, and the Laws of Nature which are the finite and specific foundational control structure ordering the actions and interactions of all elements within Existence, cannot Be without The Law being The Law.
So, what is The Law?
In a word, The Law is options.
Definition
option: a thing that is or may be chosen.
The word 'option' does convey the idea of The Law in its most basic sense but does not clarify all of what The Law is.
Free Will does describe how our species experiences The Law but does not convey all of what The Law is.
In clarifying what The Law is;
The capitalised form of the word 'The' indicates the following noun is a specific thing.
Law is the finite and specific foundational control structure ordering the actions and interactions of all elements subordinate.
Together, the words 'The' and 'Law' (in that exact order,) is a proper noun indicating;
the singular form of Law that all other forms of Law and all other Laws are founded upon,
the singular foundation upon which Existence is founded,
the singular foundation upon which Non Existence is founded,
the singular foundation connecting Existence to Non Existence,
the concept of options, and
Free Will.
However one thinks, believes, guesses, hopes, or "knows", whether by a Large Explosion, a creation story, a computer program, an expansion of consciousness, or whatever means by which Existence could have come to Be, the option for Existence to not Be also exists. Existence and Non Existence, the original options connected by the very concept of options, connected by The Law. Outside of space and before time. Extra-Existential.
As we experience The Law in our Being,
The Law is Free Will.
The First Protector of The Law is Freely Given Consent.
The First Violation of The Law is Theft of Consent."
- Goho-tekina Otoko
To know what is true? Isn’t that then become a belief?
@@kevinvincent2994 do you need to believe something you already know?
This is lovely, good food for thought and a good practice to employ, I think...
Absolutely loved this video! Your animation style and the way you explain things in a clear yet entertaining way is truly inspiring. I've always loved this channel, and your voice is so calming. Just want to say this is one of the channels that motivated me to start a channel too! Thanks! One more thing. A question I always ask myself when I go to bed is what did I do right today? Wrong? And what can I do differently to be even more effective tomorrow!
Very good video, thanks!
Fabulous, thank you🙂
That was beatiful talking
Bravo! Another amazing video
Somehow, your videos always come at the best time.
I visited your place @ Bloomsbury years ago when I was studying at the nearby university (int'l student), grabbed some books and merchandise, still have em around.
Thanks for the guidance all these years, esp. introducing me to Marcus Aurelius.
Awesome video🤌
What is still lovely today: that I have School of life for support
If you look for all the bad things, you will find them. If you look for good things you will find them
Best thing I've ever done to encounter my issues is by undertaking EMDR therapy. It helps tackle subconscious trauma/life stresses. Ive been diagnosed with ADHD and PTSD so the past year of therapy has really helped me with dealing with these diagnosed issues (and also while im waiting for the NHS to set up my medication which is taking far too long).
Its worth a try if youre looking to help yourself in a slightly unconventional way.
You guys are really making some great contents ❤ in fact, I have decided to integrate these questions into my daily journal.
❤
❤🎉☺️believe in making efforts ❤️💐
Helpful.
This a very important video 😮
I love this youtube channel. Can u add subtitle?
❤❤❤
Sometimes, things we worry about get so big that all the lovable things start looking so small. Once your worries started indulging in the little loveliness of life and making itself feel important then anything so life seems dull and you remain stressed.
I would add/simplify: I ask myself every morning How do I want to BE?
Interesting!
Great
Please do a video on what the hippies got right. Long time fan of ADBx
WOW
❤️👏Beautiful Video
Funny how i unconsciously ask the first question everynight after i put my phone down from social media feast until i feel sleepy. This question gives me hope that although my worries tend to be exaggerated sometimes, these can be overcome. It would give me peace, like a prayer, and then fall alseep ❤
As an Epicurean, this is interesting mainly for the final question - what is still lovely?.
This is good ⚡🎊
Do they have a video like this, but for first thing in the morning?
What is still lovely? That philosophers still exist regardless of what is "practical in the real world".
Question 6) is thinking about negative stuff like this every day extreme, over the top and pointless? (Answer, YES)
Suffering chronic pain means question 4 is a deep deeeeep dive 🤸😊
Where did the day go?
Thank you for the concrete advice/exercise we can do to help take out some of these unprocessed/unacknowledged feelings out of our bodies where they may be doing damage.
And once we get some answers, what do we do about it? How do we get past our griefs, sadness, etc?
Can we get one for every morning now?
1:30
thank you!!
It's normal to enter into a state of deep sadness (the rockbottom) when you discover your feelings and try to give them space to show themselves...
Asolutely. A totally obvious truth if you look closely and yet mostly ignored by doctors, psychiatrists, psychologists alike.
I would really appreciate a video on the topic of compulsions!I've scanned through existing videos but nothing quite fits. My issue is that I say everything that comes into my head and usually it's very funny and people love it but at the same I come across as rude and compulsive ALL THE WHILE people laugh..I recently realized that its very confusing..people do give me positive feedback in form of laughter,but they are the ones thinking I cross the line and I'm offensive. True though,my humor is directed at humiliating others for well apparently protecting myself? I'm trying to control it but it's such a habit at this point..
"There's no greater evil than the darkness in your heart" Natalie Merchant from her Motherland album.
With an appropriately dark melody, that line sent a shiver down my spine. Check it out.
Thank you ❤
Can you put an Arabic translation pleeeaase 😢❤
Arab girls are gorgeous wow