The HORRIFYING hypocrisy of Anthony having a lover and being overprotective of his sister drives me INSANE. So...his sister deserves honor and is defiled by a man so much as kissing her, but what he does is somehow okay? It's disgusting.
The _values_ are disgusting but I don't blame Anthony much for try to protect her sister from disgrace : it is unfair but it is true she won't find a good suitor if she is seen heavily kissing a man in the "sex garden".
welcome to the 1800s. men are encouraged to live freely while women are encouraged to live restrained. Sienna's virtue doesnt matter as much as Daphne's because she's of a lower class and her profession is already seen as inappropriate for a viscountess. thats just the reality they live in and none of them except Eloise question it.
@@arona6692 Neither will his mistress. The hypocrisy isn't in him also hooking up, it's in him valuing his sister's purity and social status but not caring for the women he deflowers. Yes, she's working class not nobility, but he is still ruining her prospects nonetheless.
I’ve always thought the prostitutes thing was super weird. They could get rid of racism & make everything so flowery & perfect but they can’t get rid of sex work??! And they don’t receive any punishment for it, nor is it portrayed in a bad light, it’s just treated like it’s totally fine and normal…so weird
I still can't believe that Daphne sexually assaulted Simon, and it was simply brushed off. While he should have been honest about the reason he didn't want children, he didn't deserve that at all. Yet we're clearly supposed to be on Daphne's side. It's worse in the original novel, where Simon was drunk at the time, and couldn't consent.
i don't think we should be on Daphne's side but at least understand her, Daphne didn't know anything about sex or consensus, she was left in the dark for basically anyone in her life
It's been some time since I've seen the show or read the book. But I sure don't feel for Daphne. In neither version. Maybe I misremember, but I think Simon at one point says No and she ignores it. And she had enough time to figure out just what exactly he lied about - and instead of confrontation she chose this way. I mean, in the show Daphne was really angry with her brother for overriding her No considering Lord Beerbroke (is this how you write the name?). She of all people should be against forcing people into anything.
At least she actually looked ashamed later. What I'm glad about though is that people are talking about it. Remembering it was just over ten years ago when we had Chuck Bass try to rape both Jenny Humphrey and Serena Van Der Woodsen is the very first episode of 'Gossip Girl' and both were brushed off pretty quickly. Unlike Daphne who at least has ignorance as an excuse of an excuse (not excusing her, just saying she has that tiny thing in her support even though it won't really defend her) Chuck knew exactly what he was doing. He never really got called out for it like he should have. Remember he was holding Jenny's wrists and she was saying 'no' and he was telling her to shut up. And then there's the flashback sense in season 1 of 'Glee' when we see the night that Quinn slept with Puck, when she said "I can't do this" and he said "yes you can, here have another wine cooler". Ok, I know wine coolers are a bit of a joke but the point is that that's still alcohol and he keeps giving it to her to get her to have sex with him when she said no, and every time she brought up a reason why she shouldn't he dismissed them or talked them down, and even though it was played for laughs her "feeling fat that day" made it more like she was feeling vulnerable and he took advantage for it. It was something like ten years before people started to realise 'that's still sexual assault', because he didn't respect her when she said she couldn't do it and as good as nagged her into doing it so her consent in that scene is dubious. I'm not defending Daphne and I'm sorry for the tirade, I'm just saying that I'm glad that we've gotten to a point where we address it and call it out instantly instead of overlooking it immediately like we were doing in the mid-late 2000s. That's some good sign.
"The ones who are hardest to love are usually the ones who need it the most." it's from the movie Peaceful Warrior, watched it long time ago but these words stuck with me forever.
I grew up with a narcissistic and abusive Father, because of that there was always this voice in my head, telling me that I wasn't enough, that I could trust no one (expected everyone to have ulterior motives), and that it would be very difficult to find anyone who could understand me. I didn't realize it back then, but my childhood was dedicated to catering to my Father's needs. So, when I met the love of my life, in my second year of university, I didn't think our relationship would last. I just assumed he would be fed up with me one day and leave. To my surprise, he did more then stick around...for the first time, my needs were put first, I had someone who listened, but truly listened to me and wanted to know my opinions. He respected my voice, he was patient with intimacy, he never pushed me to be physical. When I was sad, he didn't get angry with me and tell me to change my face (As my Father did), he's always tries getting to the root of the problem and knows exactly how to comfort me. I had never been happier. Two and a half years later, I was about to graduate from university with a Bachelors Degree (with Honours and at the top of my class), I came home to visit, and my Father sits me down and tells me all the ways I've disappointed him. How I never should have left home, how I opened my legs for the first man that came along, how I had no self-respect, by the end of his ranting, he flat out told me to dump my boyfriend, before I ruined my life. It was that moment, when I realized, that my Father didn't love me (at least, not the way he should), he didn't care about my happiness, and that I'd never be enough for him. This was in the late summer of 2019. Today, I am married, have established myself as a Social Media Manager, I have a beautiful and cheerful son, and am living four hours away from my Father. My days are spent laughing, sharing and exploring the world with my loving family, the family I always dreamed of having. How happy I am, that I didn't listen to my Father. I put the love I had for him, and his love for me, far ahead of my toxic parent. Never allow anyone, to tell you what you can be.
Such a warm and supporting story! I'm glad you made it! I'm also glad you are a proof that you can have an abusive father and still have a very loving husband WITHOUT spending years in therapy. My ex psychotherapist used to tell me otherwise. Turned out to be screwed up as well.
@@walkingwith_dinosaurs Thank you, that's very sweet of you. And I'm sorry about your psychotherapist, they sounds very unprofessional. The truth is, I did try therapy once a long time ago, but the therapist told me she wouldn't be able to help me and tried passing me off to group therapy. After that, I decided that I wanted to be the type of person that finds strength within, as well as with the people I love. You are so much stronger, then the people who've hurt you
Reading your story is like reading my own. I'm really happy that you were able to get out of there. I'm unfortunately still in the process, but I've learned never to share anything that matters with him, otherwise it will be poisoned.
@@claudia4632 Thank you, if our stories are alike, I truly hope you are happier and your life is full of love. You have the right idea, separation is key when dealing with a narcissist, even if they continue to be present in your life, boundaries are a needed for a healthy relationship. Keep moving forward, you can create the future you want
I always hated the part where he's there at the duel, telling her he's going to let her brother kill him, so that she can marry someone else, so SHE can have her dream of a family and lots of babies. I just want to slap his face, and say, "DUDE! With WHOM?! After you ruined her, nobody is going to be willing to MARRY HER. Or, if they are, odds are it's just for her dowry, and they won't treat her well. Very few men would do as that one dead lover's brother did, and marry his betrothed. And exponentially fewer would marry some woman who was NEVER betrothed to ANYONE, let alone their dead brother. "So, no, she's ruined, and you ruined her, and she will NEVER be able to have children with anyone else. So, if you can't give her children, the LEAST you can do is marry her, and save her honor. She's doomed to be childless either way. And if you'd rather die than marry her, and see her unhappy without children, THEN YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE RUINED HER, and YOU CAN SUFFER YOUR WHOLE LIFE, AS YOUR PUNISHMENT. Death is TOO QUICK. So suck it up and marry the girl, already!" I really wanted to say that, but for some reason, he couldn't hear me through the TV screen. Maybe it was because it was the middle of the night, and I was trying not to wake up my sister.
Reach to Queen Charlotte next please. If not in Mended Light, maybe in Cinema Therapy. Charlotte and Goerge's relationship is the best, so far, in the Bridgerton universe.
I want all of Queen Charlotte's characters therapized, from. Charlotte and George, brimsley and Reynolds the "PSYCHOLOGIST"/TORTURE DOCTOR??!!!!!! especially the doctor like gimme some early days of psychology studies and why he thought torture was good treatment for someone w dementia....
@@alidaperez8470 King George didn't have dementia--at its absolute basest/simplest, it's a severe form of forgetfulness. Scholars today think he had schizophrenia & bipolar with manic psychosis due to the symptoms he exhibited at the time.
Much better season & story. Lots of stuff to unpack regarding trauma, overfunctioning vs underfunctioning family dynamics, grief, communicating needs, and love vs lust.
I appreciate that Simon and Daphne aren't perfect - which is a MAJOR part of their story, accepting the imperfection - and that it shows them growing. I just recently watched Season 1 and the whole time I went "just talk to each other! Be clear and communicate!" and they figure out in the end that they just need to be honest and true with each other.
Daphne's speech in the rain JUST hits you right in the gut. I still get emotional.♡ It's SO beautiful & how love is imperfectly perfect, you LOVE who the person is. Hope one I can find love in that way one day.
The thing that I think people often seem to struggle to separate is that there is a difference between mere imperfections or flaws versus things that are actually outright dangerous and harmful or completely malicious and/or not even unintentional at all. There's also a difference between unconditional acceptance and love, versus simply letting people get away with doing whatever they want whenever they want however they want no matter when or where or why or how &/or who else it does or doesn't affect in which ways. And you don't always have to judge or shame somebody to let someone know when they've done something that hurt you or that you thought kind of wasn't cool or such.
Weirdly... I actually kinda like that she sexually assaults him. (Solely because it's fiction. Never ok irl. Obviously.) It has opened up so many conversations about ftm assault, spermjacking, and spousal rape in general. And those are topics that do NOT get addressed enough.
To add to your point, spousal assault and rape are more commonly shown (in hetero relationships) as the male being the abuser, not the woman. This scene gives the ick and shows an example that either partner in the relationship is capable of causing real pain. So it wasn’t fun to watch but it did open more up more conversations, like you said.
Not where I was expecting this comment to go. And I agree about the conversations that came from it. Just wish the show didn't frame the SA as acceptable. Daphne never apologizes.
I also appreciate the conversations it has opened up about SA as well but I hardly hear people talk about Simon’s tenuous and exploitative manipulation of Daphne’s consent. It is explicit in the text that he knows just how little she knows about sex and consent. He has to explain something as basic as masturbation to her and when it’s clear she doesn’t even know what sex is, he states how ridiculous her non existent sex education is. So he knows that he is taking advantage of her ignorance when he chooses the word “cannot” instead of “will not” with regards to having children. But even more importantly, in my opinion, he doesn’t explain consent to her when he actually has sex with her. He doesn’t even explain sex to her when he actually has sex with her. He does ask for consent before he does it and only proceeds when she says yes, but she doesn’t even know what she’s saying yes to, AND HE KNOWS THIS. He knows that until a couple weeks ago, this is a woman who didn’t even know what masturbation was and she doesn’t even know what consummation involved. Hell, she hadn’t even kissed anyone either. Everything she learns about sex is through him demonstrating it by doing it to her. And every time he asks for her consent it is for something she does not know or understand. It could be argued that Daphne isn’t capable of give consent for the entirety of their relationship up until the point that they reconcile, re establish boundaries, and her sex education has been completed. And if she’s not capable of giving consent, then all of that sex they were having wasn’t fully consensual, even if she enjoyed it. On a whole, I think that the show failed to reconcile the aftermath of that scene properly, but as a plot device, I think it not only makes sense, but is actually a good writing choice. Afterward, there should have been at least a whole episode dedicated to Daphne learning about consent and why what she did was wrong, then apologizing. But there should have also been time dedicated to Simon realizing that he was playing fast and loose with Daphne’s consent too and apologizing for the fact that he, a man, used is superior power and knowledge to manipulate his wife who is extremely ignorant due to the sexist society that oppresses women so much that they don’t have the right to anything including an education about their own bodies and are forced to be subservient and dependent entirely on men. Edit: there’s even a point when, after having sex and he pulls out, she asks him what is happening to him when he pulls out and climaxes. It was an opportunity for him to tell her that not only is it how a man climaxes which is different than the way she does, but he could also explain to her that pulling out is how he prevents pregnancy and that if he climaxed inside her, it could result in pregnancy and he doesn’t want that. But he doesn’t tell her that even though her question gives him the perfect opportunity to let her know that he does not consent to climaxing inside her. But he doesn’t explain this or tell her that because it is more convenient to his desires that he has refused to communicate to Daphne despite her constant attempts at communication. And honestly, I don’t even think that Daphne was trying to get pregnant necessarily. She learned new information that indicated that her husband may have been lying to her and as someone who has a cripplingly incomplete sex education, doing what she did in that scene seemed like the only way she could prove that he was or was not lying to her. Trying to get him to communicate or be open certainly didn’t work. It was still SA, and it was still wrong, but it’s clear that Daphne did it out of desperation and she never would have done it if Simon had been honest with her and not taken advantage of her. I know that is flirting dangerously close to “look what you made me do” territory, but it needs to be acknowledged that Daphne was not the only one guilty of abuse in this situation.
Right but the conversation was never had in the show. They needed a scene where daphne apologized or at least figured out why what she did was wrong. The show needed to frame it as wrong by the end. But they didn’t
Validation from my partner in the last year has been incredible. HE sees my fears, sees their foundation and the years of trauma that add up to the meltdowns and shut downs. And he tells me out loud, I'm not at fault. I'm not to blame, people did these things to me. Just hearing that I am justified to feel hurt has made everything hurt less.
I like that you say people grow more when they're loved than when they're judged. I appreciate this so much! We hear people talk about shaming others to get them to "behave" and I'm SO sick of that concept. Thank you for at least attempting to normalize being good to others.
Daphne was in the wrong 100% but my thing is, she was also still a child. She had just come of age, but that's still pretty young, and I take Simon was a bit more older, lied to her and manipulated her by taking advantage of the fact she didn't know what sex was or how it worked. Children aren't the most rational, and are rather self serving. They want what they want and will do whatever to get it. Had Daphne known how sex worked prior and he just refused to sleep with her (which, he should have done if he was just honest, he was sleeping with her under false pretenses too) she probably wouldn't have forced herself on him, but whined about it endlessly.
Simon lying to Daphne that he was infertile and using her lack of knowledge about reproduction leads me to believe that if it was reversed (she didn't want children but she did) he would also use her lack of knowledge to get her pregnant. Taking advantage of him was not okay, but deceiving her during sex was not okay either.
@@audreybannisterI honestly don’t think daphne assaulted him at all. According to him he’s infertile, and he didn’t have a problem with daphne initiating them having sex like they usually do, he’s just upset bc his lie got exposed, not because they had sex
Please continue with Kate and Anthony's Love Story - Bridgerton Gets Therapized and then with Charlotte and George's Love Story - Bridgerton Gets Therapized. I want a Couples Get Therapized video with every main couple in this series for as long as the show goes on. Season 3 is supposed to focus on Penelope and Colin. We're all hoping that it will continue for all 8 series so that we'll get a love story for all 8 Bridgerton siblings.
Can't wait to get your thoughts on the Queen Charlotte storyline. It's my favorite out of the seasons. It explores some serious topics related to mental health but also has a beautiful love story.
I didn't know what healthy love and relationship was until I met my now husband. Raised in an narcisistic and abusive household where strings were attached to every action, I didn't know love could be unconditional. My husband is beautiful, and kind, and patient. Allows me the room to grow and heal from trauma. Watching him grow into the man he is over the last 8 years has been a PRIVELAGE and I am so grateful every day.
I have a hard time accepting when someone gives me near unconditional love and acceptance. It feels foreign and I have no idea how to accept or process it. I just shut down. But watching that scene makes me incredibly emotional bc the look on his face is familiar
You put this so well. Whether Daphne assaulted him or not isnt the point. Its the hurt. Every marriage will have hurt. And it will only continue if there is forgiveness. No matter how big, we need to learn to see past it.
I agree - that scene in the rain was a very beautiful quote about true love ❤. I wish someone had said something like that to me, but noone's even thought I was good enough to deserve their love
Hi, could you, and your team, look at Queen Charlotte's relationship with King George III? How does one handle a loved one with mental health concerns (in their case)?
My husband and I met in my Junior year his senior year of high school. And we have said on multiple occasions that being with each other was the simplest thing in the world, and indeed that is love, but great that is belonging. 22 years and going strong.
Please do season 2 especially with anthony childhood trauma and his reaction with violet (his mother). And it doesnt hurt to talk about the queen charlotte one to because it really touches with mental illness
Me and my husband have been having problems for years. We went through marriage counseling, but only came to the conclusion to no longer have a physical relationship. Recently, the main reason for this has come to light through them working on themself and understanding who they are. They came out as asexual, non-bianary and aromantic. Having a physical relationship with me was horrendously stressful for them and the time we decided to eliminate that helped them realize this. We are still married because I have no intention of breaking the other bonds we have for each other and neither do they. I date and see other people for the physical part of my well being, but I am very open that I simply don't want to get married again, thus I'm not divorcing my husband.
Bridgerton shows what a lack of reproductive education and sexual education does to the glorification of virgins, the shaming of women who do not wait until marriage (they are either scandalous or prostitutes) and then there's the gaslighting about how to get pregnant. So far, three out of three seasons shows women being duped my men whom lie and in the case of both Simon and Anthony, they are also promiscuous, showing double standards about how they treat women as either respectable or not. Sex should not be the defining matter for treating people respectfully. (I'm Nordic and an anthropologist, and our dating culture is very "get drunk and have sex, then find out what happens", because none of us, regardless of gender, wants to "buy a car without a test drive". Nobody here believes you are getting milk for free. We're just kissing frogs and test driving cars. Respectfully!) Bridgerton is fun to watch, but it does NOT have moral lessons for the culture I live in.
I personally suffer really bad ROCD, and Bridgerton is a show that doesn't trigger it. Daphne's mom says: "To choose to love one another every day is a choice that is never too late to make." Love is a choice and I think a lot of people forget that. It isn't easy all the time, there are days it is easy. It can't be easy 100% of the time. You must both choose to love each other through thick and thin, and choose to work on the relationship and love you guys have.
The story of me and my now husband mirrors Simon and Daphne very much. I grew up in a very stable loving home with parents who were crazy about each other. His mother divorced both his bio dad and his step dad before he was 25. He has one sister but he might as well be an only child. And he once swore he’d never get married or have children to spite his mother. When we met, it wasn’t an instant attraction. And the reason we got together was because we were pretending to be together to get a girl at our college to leave him alone. And we just kinda fell into each other after that. This past March we got married and his mother was not there. He and I both say it was a perfect day.
I loved Simon and Daphne. As flawed as they were, the struggles they had were understandable. I just wish Rege-Jean Page would get back on the show! I miss my Duke!!!
i prefer Kanthony's season to season 1 becawe it goes deeper and I'm a sucker for the enemies to lovers trope. It talks about so much that you as a LMFT you'd really appreciate.
13:26 My biggest complaint with that scene is that when it started with him with his shirt half undone and her lying down in her blue robe (was that silk?) I just thought "Oh come on, is it even necessary to look that good?"
Hello! Just found your channel from CinemaTherapy! Love the Bluey episodes! Could you do a "Gets Therapized" episode about Captain Sisko and the importance of processing grief from Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, Episode 1: The Emissary ? I think it'd be a great fit for the channel, it's a really, really good one, you'll love it! (maybe an episode for each Trek Captain too!) Thanks much!
I was never able to show all of me to one person, but I think I experienced love because I have a relationship in which I feel safe and heard. Its not always easy but we work on every problem together and are honest about things that bother us. I have BPD and so many people think that people like me are not capable or worthy of healthy relationships but if I achieve one thing in my life then it is showing those people that they are wrong. Most people are worthy of love and with hard work and the right person it will be enough, you will be enough, and I will be enough. Just keep communicating. ♥
I'd love to see your reaction to Marshall na Lily from "How I met your mother". At the start of the show they get engaged and we can see them growing as a couple. I admire this arc. ❤
Yaaaas I am sooo excited! I was one of those people screaming in the comments of your other video!! :D So I am extremely glad that you made another one. (just had to write that comment before starting the episode)
My ex boyfriend didn't want kids because he felt their was "something wrong with him," "that his kids would be messed up." I did not think there was anything wrong with him and I thought it was really silly, but sometimes people get in their own heads about things like this. I felt like it was like the show, he felt imperfect and would let down his kids. Not why we broke up, but it made me sad he felt that way.
I completely agree with you about on-screen sex. Something like 90% of screen sex is between people who are not married, and very often it's two people on their first date who don't know each other well. People watching can think that this is normal behavior. It's not normal or healthy to share your body so intimately with someone you don't know well. There's a reason that sex is sometimes called "knowing" someone. (As in "Adam knew his wife.")
I wasn't a fan of their romance, mostly because Simon changing his mind on kids wasn't really explained, I didn't see it as a inner struggle for him that he though he wouldn't be a good father or smth, he clearly said he wanted the line to die with him purely to spite his father and there was no real inner growth shown in overcoming that, there was just Daphne pressuring him with her pretty speech that essentially said how much she loves him but in the end them being together is conditional on having kids. So I hated that implication that "if you loved me you will get over yourself and give me babies". Not exactly a happy ending imo.
I feel like Daphne and Simon's story applies very healthy messages about love to an unhealthy relationship. You are supposed to accept all of your partner, but there are points (such as sexual assault) that that SHOULD NOT be applied to. Same way you shouldn't go to couples counseling when your partner is abusive. Advice that is generally good for relationships, such as accepting every part of your partner, being open to what you've done to contribute to a rough patch, etc. can be very harmful when they're applied to abusive relationships.
But that's the point! They are not the same. We don't stopgiving good advice just cause it can get abused. W give good advice AND edicate people on how to not abuse and how to recognize abuse. That's like saying we cannot teach people to drive cars cause when people are abusive they'll use cars as weapons. Abuse is NOT relationship to start with. It's been absolutely falesly conflated due to our history of patriarchy at it's worst!! And in this video, all distrinctions are properly made. And we humans are also very unfortunately not clear cut and frequently not sufficiently educated. So grey areas on the spectrum exist and always will. What education aims for, is to reduce that grey area as much as humanly possible. Still, we have the concept of forgiveness because failure is expected with humans. Learning to prevent is not enough. We must know how to prevent AND do damage control AND how to mend post damage AND how to walk away when necessary. It's not one clean one-size-fits all rule that'll apply, like all ppl will - without fail - stick to it correctly, always. When people do suffer a grave mistake / tragedy, picking up the pieces together in accountability can be one of the options, even in our times.
Haven't watched yet, but I actually haaaated Daphne in this show!! I thought she was actually super manipulative towards Simon - she's basically like "we are getting married, I will change your opinion". She lies to him about her happiness just with them alone - "I love you unconditionally, but also only if you give me a baby". "You deserve love, you're amazing, now give me what I want". Interested to hear your thoughts!
I respectfully disagree. He told her that he *couldn’t* give her children. She was willing to accept that. It was when she realized that he *could* give her children, and was refusing to do so, that it became a problem. She felt lied to and betrayed. That doesn't make how she handled that situation okay at all. Sexual assault and reproductive coercion have no defense. But her feelings are completely valid, as is her shift on the position of children once she knows she entered a relationship where they could be possible. I will say she should have been more patient and allowed him to work through some of that trauma before revisiting the subject.
@@Book_Dragon2562 Yes, but he technically never told her that the reason why he "couldn't" was specifically because he was physically incapable of producing children either. We don't actually know for sure[ in the tv series] if he intentionally manipulated her into being lead to assume that he was physically incapable or if he simply didn't think about it enough to realize that was what she would assume. I mean, it's not as if she ever asked him specifically *why* he "couldn't" give her children either(unless I am forgetting something). She simply assumed that's why he couldn't and then claimed to accept the fact that he couldn't without ever really asking why not-and rather than confronting him about it after she learned that there was more to it than she initially thought, she just chose to forcibly take from him what he had been refusing to give her without even trying to talk to him about it first and then claimed that the fact he had wronged her first somehow justified it, yet truthfully being provoked and being justified completely are not always the same. We don't actually know that his refusal was purely logical and not every bit as much driven by an involuntary or irrational trauma response-he was fairly distraught and out-of-sorts when he first told her "I can't give you children", and it is possible[ especially considering his response when she forced him to remain inside of her until completion] that he was experiencing that same involuntary/irrational panic again every single time he'd pulled out before that, and that involuntary panic could very well also have been why he struggled to ever answer or explain it to her any further than just that as well. Because we are watching everything from outside of their bodies, not from inside of their minds as we might do within a book. But, either way, they were both flawed and imperfect humans who both screwed up and wronged each other greatly and had to figure out a way to reconcile or forgive each other. So .. I think I can kind of see it both ways, here?
@@Book_Dragon2562 I definitely see your points! Thank you for sharing your perspective. While I was watching the show it felt to me that she didn't actually love him as completely as she claimed to, because she didn't love or respect the part of him that didn't want to have a child. I felt that Simon was actually the one more truly showing her love in refusing to tie her to a life he thought (perhaps mistakenly) that he just could not give her. It didn't feel like she was actually that willing to accept that he couldn't give her children, but that she wanted to change him. But my perspective there might have been off 🤷
@@jaginaiaelectrizs6341e knew how inexperienced and ignorant she was on the subject of sex. I find it extremely difficult to believe he didn’t know what he was implying or what she would believe. But I agree with the rest. Trauma is not logical and it does not naturally heal. And no matter what he did, there is no justifying her trying to force him into parenthood. I had that done to me and wouldn’t wish it on anyone. Even a fictional character.
@@TeaAddictThank you for the openminded and kind response. Its appreciated. I am in no way condoning his deception or her sexually assaulting him and trying to force him into a fathering a child he did not want. But I can understand the feelings of both that lead to their very wrong actions.
Could u comment on A Bridgen Story: Queen Charlotte? I think it's an amazing story and I'd love to hear your opinions on it. And thanks for commenting on Daphne and Simon! This is a video I've been looking forward to since you made that other video about them
I have never had acceptance by another person. I was always expected to be perfect before I could be loved, but that is soooooo unattainable. I wish I had known this decades ago because I wasted 50 years of my life trying.
I couldn't watch season 1 past episode 5 and I really hated it. I liked season 2 because the main characters were more matched. Queen Charlotte has the best love story IMO though I hope there's more so we can know if relationships with the children heal.
I unfortunately can't get behind this show/book(s?) because of the assault. That is what it was. I am a survivor of spousal assault and I am glad someone clued me in before I got that far into the show because it would have seriously triggered a panic attack for me. I think what she did was very wrong and forgiveness, if that is what he wanted, should have been EARNED and not just given for the plot to move forward. And I have been told it is worse in the book. As for having someone who accepts me as I am, my husband actually. This is my second marriage and he accepted me for who I was even when I wasn't sure who that was because I was still putting myself back together after my first abusive marriage. I think the sweetest thing he ever said to me was when I asked him who he wanted me to be, he said Yourself. I freaked out and was crying and said I don't know who that is! His response was, that's okay, you'll figure it out and I'll be here with you the whole way. And he was. He gave me the room to rediscover who I was and then gave me a safe place to be and be loved and to love.
i completely understand this reasoning but also.. she didnt know what sex was until they did it and i doubt she knew it was assault, so yes she did assault him but you can tell she really just wanted to know if she was being lied to
@@zombrii I understand your point of view. I just think it should have been left out entirely. They could have found a different way for her to figure if he was lying. If the topic isn’t going to be handled properly then all it will do is end up triggering panic attacks in survivors. I am not mad at the character so much as I hate how the material was written and I don’t think something like that needed to be in the show or books.
I feel like all you say about relationship is true, but s1 failed to deliver any coherence in their relationship after the assault. Sure, she read the letters, but the problem was never shown to be "Simon has low self-esteem"- sure, we can guess that, but it was never explicit. The problems were "we betrayed each other's trust" and "are old grudges worth ruining the new happiness". And neither were resolved. They never learned to trust each other again on-screen (I felt like Daphne especially was not nearly as remorseful as she should've been) and Simon never explicitly chose Daphne over his father on-screen. She said that she loves him no matter what (that wasn't the problem and unlike the book they completely removed his stutter in adulthood, so there isn't even that caveat like "oh, she heard his stutter, he felt deficient, she rebutted that notion") and he said he didn't want to be alone (horrible, like "you're better than being alone, I guess"). It's romantic and a happy end on the surface, but It wasn't even a compromise, it looked like Daphne just got everything she wanted and Simon just gave in. And I felt deeply unsettled at that ending. S2 made that even worse by leaving out Rege, so I continued feeling like he's just a conceded husband who gave his wife what she wanted (a child) and now wants nothing to do with her, while she gives feeble excuses to her family as to why he's absent ("oh, you know, he's a duke, and that makes him too busy to come to his BROTHER-IN-LAW'S AND UNIVERSITY FRIEND'S WEDDING HOSTED BY THE QUEEN").
The ENTIRE reason I started watching bridgerton was because a main character voiced one of my absolute favorite characters from FF14. Turned out the show was pretty good so I stayed for the whole thing.
THIS VIDEO MAKES ME ANGRY HE DID NOT LIE ! HE TOLD HIS TRUTH UNLIKE HER. GROSS ASHE IS GREOSS. I have liked this video thank you for making it you are a very nice youtuber.
If she assult him by current standards didnt he do the smae to her by with holding information that would change her consent preventing from giving informed consent?
Any chance you could look at (the original) Pet Sematary and how not to grieve and the other concepts it touches on like if you could bring someone back would that be a good thing even if they weren’t evil
They seriously thought the pull out method was going to work. In what universe could they not have accidentally gotten pregnant even with such words like “I can’t have children”? Bridgerton should have made Daphne pregnant before that happened without an implied SA in the minds of modern viewers. This obsession with sex in modern culture keeps people from experiencing chastity (love) that is called for in such a scenario. Chastity is a bond but it is also unbounded to give freely not consumed by endless scrolling or content for pleasure.
Daphne *wanted* to marry. Lady Whistledown's gossip had made her undesirable in her community's eyes. She agreed to the charade with Simon because if the community watched the most eligible bachelor show interest in her, everyone else would remember she's actually a catch too.
To me the first season lost all of his good points thanks to Daphne basically choosing to get him drunk and sexually abuse him to get her own way. There are some good dialogues here and there, and i liked the casting and the clothing design but overall... it was such a disappointing version of "I'm gonna change him" trope i often dislike.
Someone made me feel unconditionnally loved... My ex. Whom I've broken up with less than a week ago because I don't have enough space for a relationship yet... :( :(
As ypu Do osychology of fictional oartnerships,could you please Do a Video abou Brad and Janet from the Rock horror picture Show? Do you think they are a happy couple celebrating their golden Wedding ?
I mean.. technically, he never actually said precisely why he "can't" give her children, if I recall it correctly. And he would not be the first person ever to exaggerate without thinking too hard about how literally applicable the word "can't" is or isn't, or how it may have been misconstrued.😅
Jono, I think you're awesome and would love to have someone like you as a therapist, but for God's sake... learn to push the pause button! You keep talking through the videos and it's really difficult to focus 😂
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My husband and I got married 9 years ago, and my favorite part of our wedding vows "I love who you are now and trust who you will become"
Queen Charlotte: A Bridgerton Story next please !!!
YESS!!
Yea pleaseeeeee! Charlotte and George is OTP
I'll be prepared to cry.
YES!
I would be a sobbing mess!
The HORRIFYING hypocrisy of Anthony having a lover and being overprotective of his sister drives me INSANE. So...his sister deserves honor and is defiled by a man so much as kissing her, but what he does is somehow okay? It's disgusting.
The _values_ are disgusting but I don't blame Anthony much for try to protect her sister from disgrace : it is unfair but it is true she won't find a good suitor if she is seen heavily kissing a man in the "sex garden".
welcome to the 1800s. men are encouraged to live freely while women are encouraged to live restrained. Sienna's virtue doesnt matter as much as Daphne's because she's of a lower class and her profession is already seen as inappropriate for a viscountess. thats just the reality they live in and none of them except Eloise question it.
it’s the reality of the time and of the station of the people involved
@@arona6692 Neither will his mistress. The hypocrisy isn't in him also hooking up, it's in him valuing his sister's purity and social status but not caring for the women he deflowers. Yes, she's working class not nobility, but he is still ruining her prospects nonetheless.
I’ve always thought the prostitutes thing was super weird. They could get rid of racism & make everything so flowery & perfect but they can’t get rid of sex work??! And they don’t receive any punishment for it, nor is it portrayed in a bad light, it’s just treated like it’s totally fine and normal…so weird
I still can't believe that Daphne sexually assaulted Simon, and it was simply brushed off. While he should have been honest about the reason he didn't want children, he didn't deserve that at all. Yet we're clearly supposed to be on Daphne's side. It's worse in the original novel, where Simon was drunk at the time, and couldn't consent.
i don't think we should be on Daphne's side but at least understand her, Daphne didn't know anything about sex or consensus, she was left in the dark for basically anyone in her life
It's been some time since I've seen the show or read the book. But I sure don't feel for Daphne. In neither version.
Maybe I misremember, but I think Simon at one point says No and she ignores it.
And she had enough time to figure out just what exactly he lied about - and instead of confrontation she chose this way. I mean, in the show Daphne was really angry with her brother for overriding her No considering Lord Beerbroke (is this how you write the name?). She of all people should be against forcing people into anything.
@@xtltokioreal2736 I mean he said "wait" i think (or something to stop her) and she kept going. I don't think she didn't understand what that meant.
Yeaaaaah...my younger brother was raped by his girlfriend and I admit this pissed me right the heck off.
At least she actually looked ashamed later.
What I'm glad about though is that people are talking about it. Remembering it was just over ten years ago when we had Chuck Bass try to rape both Jenny Humphrey and Serena Van Der Woodsen is the very first episode of 'Gossip Girl' and both were brushed off pretty quickly. Unlike Daphne who at least has ignorance as an excuse of an excuse (not excusing her, just saying she has that tiny thing in her support even though it won't really defend her) Chuck knew exactly what he was doing. He never really got called out for it like he should have. Remember he was holding Jenny's wrists and she was saying 'no' and he was telling her to shut up.
And then there's the flashback sense in season 1 of 'Glee' when we see the night that Quinn slept with Puck, when she said "I can't do this" and he said "yes you can, here have another wine cooler". Ok, I know wine coolers are a bit of a joke but the point is that that's still alcohol and he keeps giving it to her to get her to have sex with him when she said no, and every time she brought up a reason why she shouldn't he dismissed them or talked them down, and even though it was played for laughs her "feeling fat that day" made it more like she was feeling vulnerable and he took advantage for it. It was something like ten years before people started to realise 'that's still sexual assault', because he didn't respect her when she said she couldn't do it and as good as nagged her into doing it so her consent in that scene is dubious.
I'm not defending Daphne and I'm sorry for the tirade, I'm just saying that I'm glad that we've gotten to a point where we address it and call it out instantly instead of overlooking it immediately like we were doing in the mid-late 2000s. That's some good sign.
"The ones who are hardest to love are usually the ones who need it the most." it's from the movie Peaceful Warrior, watched it long time ago but these words stuck with me forever.
I grew up with a narcissistic and abusive Father, because of that there was always this voice in my head, telling me that I wasn't enough, that I could trust no one (expected everyone to have ulterior motives), and that it would be very difficult to find anyone who could understand me. I didn't realize it back then, but my childhood was dedicated to catering to my Father's needs. So, when I met the love of my life, in my second year of university, I didn't think our relationship would last. I just assumed he would be fed up with me one day and leave. To my surprise, he did more then stick around...for the first time, my needs were put first, I had someone who listened, but truly listened to me and wanted to know my opinions. He respected my voice, he was patient with intimacy, he never pushed me to be physical. When I was sad, he didn't get angry with me and tell me to change my face (As my Father did), he's always tries getting to the root of the problem and knows exactly how to comfort me. I had never been happier. Two and a half years later, I was about to graduate from university with a Bachelors Degree (with Honours and at the top of my class), I came home to visit, and my Father sits me down and tells me all the ways I've disappointed him. How I never should have left home, how I opened my legs for the first man that came along, how I had no self-respect, by the end of his ranting, he flat out told me to dump my boyfriend, before I ruined my life. It was that moment, when I realized, that my Father didn't love me (at least, not the way he should), he didn't care about my happiness, and that I'd never be enough for him. This was in the late summer of 2019. Today, I am married, have established myself as a Social Media Manager, I have a beautiful and cheerful son, and am living four hours away from my Father. My days are spent laughing, sharing and exploring the world with my loving family, the family I always dreamed of having. How happy I am, that I didn't listen to my Father. I put the love I had for him, and his love for me, far ahead of my toxic parent. Never allow anyone, to tell you what you can be.
Such a warm and supporting story! I'm glad you made it! I'm also glad you are a proof that you can have an abusive father and still have a very loving husband WITHOUT spending years in therapy. My ex psychotherapist used to tell me otherwise. Turned out to be screwed up as well.
@@walkingwith_dinosaurs Thank you, that's very sweet of you. And I'm sorry about your psychotherapist, they sounds very unprofessional. The truth is, I did try therapy once a long time ago, but the therapist told me she wouldn't be able to help me and tried passing me off to group therapy. After that, I decided that I wanted to be the type of person that finds strength within, as well as with the people I love. You are so much stronger, then the people who've hurt you
Reading your story is like reading my own. I'm really happy that you were able to get out of there. I'm unfortunately still in the process, but I've learned never to share anything that matters with him, otherwise it will be poisoned.
@@claudia4632 Thank you, if our stories are alike, I truly hope you are happier and your life is full of love. You have the right idea, separation is key when dealing with a narcissist, even if they continue to be present in your life, boundaries are a needed for a healthy relationship. Keep moving forward, you can create the future you want
you're brave to tell your tale.
I always hated the part where he's there at the duel, telling her he's going to let her brother kill him, so that she can marry someone else, so SHE can have her dream of a family and lots of babies.
I just want to slap his face, and say, "DUDE! With WHOM?! After you ruined her, nobody is going to be willing to MARRY HER. Or, if they are, odds are it's just for her dowry, and they won't treat her well. Very few men would do as that one dead lover's brother did, and marry his betrothed. And exponentially fewer would marry some woman who was NEVER betrothed to ANYONE, let alone their dead brother.
"So, no, she's ruined, and you ruined her, and she will NEVER be able to have children with anyone else. So, if you can't give her children, the LEAST you can do is marry her, and save her honor. She's doomed to be childless either way. And if you'd rather die than marry her, and see her unhappy without children, THEN YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE RUINED HER, and YOU CAN SUFFER YOUR WHOLE LIFE, AS YOUR PUNISHMENT. Death is TOO QUICK. So suck it up and marry the girl, already!"
I really wanted to say that, but for some reason, he couldn't hear me through the TV screen. Maybe it was because it was the middle of the night, and I was trying not to wake up my sister.
Reach to Queen Charlotte next please. If not in Mended Light, maybe in Cinema Therapy. Charlotte and Goerge's relationship is the best, so far, in the Bridgerton universe.
100% agree. Charlotte and George are incredible and I’d love to see Jonathan talk about their relationship
i hope they do it on cinema therapy i want them to watch the entire show
I think Cinema therapy is just for movies. But yea I would love to see a reaction to Charlotte
I want all of Queen Charlotte's characters therapized, from. Charlotte and George, brimsley and Reynolds the "PSYCHOLOGIST"/TORTURE DOCTOR??!!!!!! especially the doctor like gimme some early days of psychology studies and why he thought torture was good treatment for someone w dementia....
@@alidaperez8470 King George didn't have dementia--at its absolute basest/simplest, it's a severe form of forgetfulness. Scholars today think he had schizophrenia & bipolar with manic psychosis due to the symptoms he exhibited at the time.
Do season 2!! It's amazing and would love to see how you view Kate and Anthony's views on their own happiness
Much better season & story. Lots of stuff to unpack regarding trauma, overfunctioning vs underfunctioning family dynamics, grief, communicating needs, and love vs lust.
He did do one seven months ago in relation to Season 2 and Anthony's grief regarding his father.
I think Kate and Anthony are a couple of idiots, actually. They annoy the heck out of me.
I appreciate that Simon and Daphne aren't perfect - which is a MAJOR part of their story, accepting the imperfection - and that it shows them growing. I just recently watched Season 1 and the whole time I went "just talk to each other! Be clear and communicate!" and they figure out in the end that they just need to be honest and true with each other.
I honestly think Simon was in love with Daphne from the beginning but didn't realize until later.
Daphne's speech in the rain JUST hits you right in the gut. I still get emotional.♡ It's SO beautiful & how love is imperfectly perfect, you LOVE who the person is. Hope one I can find love in that way one day.
I'm glad you feel that way because to my eyes her acting was very bad in that scene, maybe I'm looking at it the wrong way
The thing that I think people often seem to struggle to separate is that there is a difference between mere imperfections or flaws versus things that are actually outright dangerous and harmful or completely malicious and/or not even unintentional at all. There's also a difference between unconditional acceptance and love, versus simply letting people get away with doing whatever they want whenever they want however they want no matter when or where or why or how &/or who else it does or doesn't affect in which ways. And you don't always have to judge or shame somebody to let someone know when they've done something that hurt you or that you thought kind of wasn't cool or such.
💯💯💯💯
Very good insight
@@candellina6 Thanks 😅😊😁💝
@@swatisaini6447 😊🤍
Weirdly... I actually kinda like that she sexually assaults him. (Solely because it's fiction. Never ok irl. Obviously.) It has opened up so many conversations about ftm assault, spermjacking, and spousal rape in general. And those are topics that do NOT get addressed enough.
To add to your point, spousal assault and rape are more commonly shown (in hetero relationships) as the male being the abuser, not the woman. This scene gives the ick and shows an example that either partner in the relationship is capable of causing real pain. So it wasn’t fun to watch but it did open more up more conversations, like you said.
Not where I was expecting this comment to go. And I agree about the conversations that came from it. Just wish the show didn't frame the SA as acceptable. Daphne never apologizes.
definitely glad that people are talking about it more. Talk is how things get started
I also appreciate the conversations it has opened up about SA as well but I hardly hear people talk about Simon’s tenuous and exploitative manipulation of Daphne’s consent. It is explicit in the text that he knows just how little she knows about sex and consent. He has to explain something as basic as masturbation to her and when it’s clear she doesn’t even know what sex is, he states how ridiculous her non existent sex education is. So he knows that he is taking advantage of her ignorance when he chooses the word “cannot” instead of “will not” with regards to having children. But even more importantly, in my opinion, he doesn’t explain consent to her when he actually has sex with her. He doesn’t even explain sex to her when he actually has sex with her. He does ask for consent before he does it and only proceeds when she says yes, but she doesn’t even know what she’s saying yes to, AND HE KNOWS THIS. He knows that until a couple weeks ago, this is a woman who didn’t even know what masturbation was and she doesn’t even know what consummation involved. Hell, she hadn’t even kissed anyone either. Everything she learns about sex is through him demonstrating it by doing it to her. And every time he asks for her consent it is for something she does not know or understand. It could be argued that Daphne isn’t capable of give consent for the entirety of their relationship up until the point that they reconcile, re establish boundaries, and her sex education has been completed. And if she’s not capable of giving consent, then all of that sex they were having wasn’t fully consensual, even if she enjoyed it. On a whole, I think that the show failed to reconcile the aftermath of that scene properly, but as a plot device, I think it not only makes sense, but is actually a good writing choice. Afterward, there should have been at least a whole episode dedicated to Daphne learning about consent and why what she did was wrong, then apologizing. But there should have also been time dedicated to Simon realizing that he was playing fast and loose with Daphne’s consent too and apologizing for the fact that he, a man, used is superior power and knowledge to manipulate his wife who is extremely ignorant due to the sexist society that oppresses women so much that they don’t have the right to anything including an education about their own bodies and are forced to be subservient and dependent entirely on men.
Edit: there’s even a point when, after having sex and he pulls out, she asks him what is happening to him when he pulls out and climaxes. It was an opportunity for him to tell her that not only is it how a man climaxes which is different than the way she does, but he could also explain to her that pulling out is how he prevents pregnancy and that if he climaxed inside her, it could result in pregnancy and he doesn’t want that. But he doesn’t tell her that even though her question gives him the perfect opportunity to let her know that he does not consent to climaxing inside her. But he doesn’t explain this or tell her that because it is more convenient to his desires that he has refused to communicate to Daphne despite her constant attempts at communication. And honestly, I don’t even think that Daphne was trying to get pregnant necessarily. She learned new information that indicated that her husband may have been lying to her and as someone who has a cripplingly incomplete sex education, doing what she did in that scene seemed like the only way she could prove that he was or was not lying to her. Trying to get him to communicate or be open certainly didn’t work. It was still SA, and it was still wrong, but it’s clear that Daphne did it out of desperation and she never would have done it if Simon had been honest with her and not taken advantage of her. I know that is flirting dangerously close to “look what you made me do” territory, but it needs to be acknowledged that Daphne was not the only one guilty of abuse in this situation.
Right but the conversation was never had in the show. They needed a scene where daphne apologized or at least figured out why what she did was wrong. The show needed to frame it as wrong by the end. But they didn’t
Validation from my partner in the last year has been incredible. HE sees my fears, sees their foundation and the years of trauma that add up to the meltdowns and shut downs. And he tells me out loud, I'm not at fault. I'm not to blame, people did these things to me. Just hearing that I am justified to feel hurt has made everything hurt less.
"He's the next James Bond...I need this!" Me too, Johno! 👏
I like that you say people grow more when they're loved than when they're judged. I appreciate this so much! We hear people talk about shaming others to get them to "behave" and I'm SO sick of that concept. Thank you for at least attempting to normalize being good to others.
Daphne was in the wrong 100% but my thing is, she was also still a child. She had just come of age, but that's still pretty young, and I take Simon was a bit more older, lied to her and manipulated her by taking advantage of the fact she didn't know what sex was or how it worked. Children aren't the most rational, and are rather self serving. They want what they want and will do whatever to get it. Had Daphne known how sex worked prior and he just refused to sleep with her (which, he should have done if he was just honest, he was sleeping with her under false pretenses too) she probably wouldn't have forced herself on him, but whined about it endlessly.
Or simply, allow Daphne to fall pregnant despite Simon pulling out.
Simon lying to Daphne that he was infertile and using her lack of knowledge about reproduction leads me to believe that if it was reversed (she didn't want children but she did) he would also use her lack of knowledge to get her pregnant. Taking advantage of him was not okay, but deceiving her during sex was not okay either.
@@audreybannisterI honestly don’t think daphne assaulted him at all. According to him he’s infertile, and he didn’t have a problem with daphne initiating them having sex like they usually do, he’s just upset bc his lie got exposed, not because they had sex
Please continue with Kate and Anthony's Love Story - Bridgerton Gets Therapized and then with Charlotte and George's Love Story - Bridgerton Gets Therapized. I want a Couples Get Therapized video with every main couple in this series for as long as the show goes on. Season 3 is supposed to focus on Penelope and Colin. We're all hoping that it will continue for all 8 series so that we'll get a love story for all 8 Bridgerton siblings.
Can't wait to get your thoughts on the Queen Charlotte storyline. It's my favorite out of the seasons. It explores some serious topics related to mental health but also has a beautiful love story.
I didn't know what healthy love and relationship was until I met my now husband. Raised in an narcisistic and abusive household where strings were attached to every action, I didn't know love could be unconditional.
My husband is beautiful, and kind, and patient. Allows me the room to grow and heal from trauma. Watching him grow into the man he is over the last 8 years has been a PRIVELAGE and I am so grateful every day.
I have a hard time accepting when someone gives me near unconditional love and acceptance. It feels foreign and I have no idea how to accept or process it. I just shut down. But watching that scene makes me incredibly emotional bc the look on his face is familiar
You put this so well. Whether Daphne assaulted him or not isnt the point. Its the hurt. Every marriage will have hurt. And it will only continue if there is forgiveness. No matter how big, we need to learn to see past it.
I agree - that scene in the rain was a very beautiful quote about true love ❤.
I wish someone had said something like that to me, but noone's even thought I was good enough to deserve their love
I don’t think her assault on Simon was portrayed as such because of the time period and marriage equaling ownership.
Exactly
Through a modern lens....
Hi, could you, and your team, look at Queen Charlotte's relationship with King George III? How does one handle a loved one with mental health concerns (in their case)?
My husband and I met in my Junior year his senior year of high school. And we have said on multiple occasions that being with each other was the simplest thing in the world, and indeed that is love, but great that is belonging. 22 years and going strong.
Please do season 2 especially with anthony childhood trauma and his reaction with violet (his mother). And it doesnt hurt to talk about the queen charlotte one to because it really touches with mental illness
Me and my husband have been having problems for years. We went through marriage counseling, but only came to the conclusion to no longer have a physical relationship. Recently, the main reason for this has come to light through them working on themself and understanding who they are. They came out as asexual, non-bianary and aromantic. Having a physical relationship with me was horrendously stressful for them and the time we decided to eliminate that helped them realize this. We are still married because I have no intention of breaking the other bonds we have for each other and neither do they. I date and see other people for the physical part of my well being, but I am very open that I simply don't want to get married again, thus I'm not divorcing my husband.
Bridgerton shows what a lack of reproductive education and sexual education does to the glorification of virgins, the shaming of women who do not wait until marriage (they are either scandalous or prostitutes) and then there's the gaslighting about how to get pregnant. So far, three out of three seasons shows women being duped my men whom lie and in the case of both Simon and Anthony, they are also promiscuous, showing double standards about how they treat women as either respectable or not. Sex should not be the defining matter for treating people respectfully. (I'm Nordic and an anthropologist, and our dating culture is very "get drunk and have sex, then find out what happens", because none of us, regardless of gender, wants to "buy a car without a test drive". Nobody here believes you are getting milk for free. We're just kissing frogs and test driving cars. Respectfully!) Bridgerton is fun to watch, but it does NOT have moral lessons for the culture I live in.
There are only 2 seasons as of now, haw did you watch 3?
@@drunk_taylorthe Queen Charlotte spinoff
I personally suffer really bad ROCD, and Bridgerton is a show that doesn't trigger it. Daphne's mom says: "To choose to love one another every day is a choice that is never too late to make." Love is a choice and I think a lot of people forget that. It isn't easy all the time, there are days it is easy. It can't be easy 100% of the time. You must both choose to love each other through thick and thin, and choose to work on the relationship and love you guys have.
The story of me and my now husband mirrors Simon and Daphne very much. I grew up in a very stable loving home with parents who were crazy about each other. His mother divorced both his bio dad and his step dad before he was 25. He has one sister but he might as well be an only child. And he once swore he’d never get married or have children to spite his mother. When we met, it wasn’t an instant attraction. And the reason we got together was because we were pretending to be together to get a girl at our college to leave him alone. And we just kinda fell into each other after that. This past March we got married and his mother was not there. He and I both say it was a perfect day.
Yo that’s crazy
I loved Simon and Daphne. As flawed as they were, the struggles they had were understandable. I just wish Rege-Jean Page would get back on the show! I miss my Duke!!!
She raped him... she is a disgusting human being that doesnt deserve forgiveness.
I miss him too
How cruel (and brilliant!) to put the ad in right before their kiss. 😂👌👏
Love this! also please please please do Bridgerton season 2 next. Kate and Anthony are just *chef's kiss
Yay, I have been waiting for this one, Jono! I love hearing your insights and perspectives on this couple.
i prefer Kanthony's season to season 1 becawe it goes deeper and I'm a sucker for the enemies to lovers trope. It talks about so much that you as a LMFT you'd really appreciate.
13:26 My biggest complaint with that scene is that when it started with him with his shirt half undone and her lying down in her blue robe (was that silk?) I just thought "Oh come on, is it even necessary to look that good?"
Now we need a review of season two and Queen Charlotte.
Hello! Just found your channel from CinemaTherapy! Love the Bluey episodes! Could you do a "Gets Therapized" episode about Captain Sisko and the importance of processing grief from Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, Episode 1: The Emissary ? I think it'd be a great fit for the channel, it's a really, really good one, you'll love it! (maybe an episode for each Trek Captain too!)
Thanks much!
I would loooove one about Kate and Edwina!
Friendly Space Ninja’s Bridgerton video covers how I regard their relationship perfectly.
Love Daphne and Simon love story! Thanks
I’m also here voting for you to watch queen Charlotte and review her and king George!!
PLEASE
That last segment is making me rethink my my whole view on relationships. Cant wait to talk about this video for the next three weeks 😅
“She’s a virgin, he’s not. He’s a scoundrel” 😂
I was never able to show all of me to one person, but I think I experienced love because I have a relationship in which I feel safe and heard. Its not always easy but we work on every problem together and are honest about things that bother us. I have BPD and so many people think that people like me are not capable or worthy of healthy relationships but if I achieve one thing in my life then it is showing those people that they are wrong. Most people are worthy of love and with hard work and the right person it will be enough, you will be enough, and I will be enough. Just keep communicating. ♥
As someone with BPD, i'm so happy you found your person. This may sound weird but reading this made my day
I'd love to see your reaction to Marshall na Lily from "How I met your mother". At the start of the show they get engaged and we can see them growing as a couple. I admire this arc. ❤
Oohhh please analize Outlander ! At least the first season!!!
Yaaaas I am sooo excited! I was one of those people screaming in the comments of your other video!! :D So I am extremely glad that you made another one. (just had to write that comment before starting the episode)
My ex boyfriend didn't want kids because he felt their was "something wrong with him," "that his kids would be messed up." I did not think there was anything wrong with him and I thought it was really silly, but sometimes people get in their own heads about things like this.
I felt like it was like the show, he felt imperfect and would let down his kids. Not why we broke up, but it made me sad he felt that way.
I completely agree with you about on-screen sex. Something like 90% of screen sex is between people who are not married, and very often it's two people on their first date who don't know each other well. People watching can think that this is normal behavior. It's not normal or healthy to share your body so intimately with someone you don't know well. There's a reason that sex is sometimes called "knowing" someone. (As in "Adam knew his wife.")
I wasn't a fan of their romance, mostly because Simon changing his mind on kids wasn't really explained, I didn't see it as a inner struggle for him that he though he wouldn't be a good father or smth, he clearly said he wanted the line to die with him purely to spite his father and there was no real inner growth shown in overcoming that, there was just Daphne pressuring him with her pretty speech that essentially said how much she loves him but in the end them being together is conditional on having kids. So I hated that implication that "if you loved me you will get over yourself and give me babies". Not exactly a happy ending imo.
I feel like Daphne and Simon's story applies very healthy messages about love to an unhealthy relationship. You are supposed to accept all of your partner, but there are points (such as sexual assault) that that SHOULD NOT be applied to. Same way you shouldn't go to couples counseling when your partner is abusive. Advice that is generally good for relationships, such as accepting every part of your partner, being open to what you've done to contribute to a rough patch, etc. can be very harmful when they're applied to abusive relationships.
But that's the point! They are not the same. We don't stopgiving good advice just cause it can get abused. W give good advice AND edicate people on how to not abuse and how to recognize abuse.
That's like saying we cannot teach people to drive cars cause when people are abusive they'll use cars as weapons.
Abuse is NOT relationship to start with. It's been absolutely falesly conflated due to our history of patriarchy at it's worst!! And in this video, all distrinctions are properly made. And we humans are also very unfortunately not clear cut and frequently not sufficiently educated. So grey areas on the spectrum exist and always will. What education aims for, is to reduce that grey area as much as humanly possible.
Still, we have the concept of forgiveness because failure is expected with humans. Learning to prevent is not enough. We must know how to prevent AND do damage control AND how to mend post damage AND how to walk away when necessary.
It's not one clean one-size-fits all rule that'll apply, like all ppl will - without fail - stick to it correctly, always. When people do suffer a grave mistake / tragedy, picking up the pieces together in accountability can be one of the options, even in our times.
Haven't watched yet, but I actually haaaated Daphne in this show!! I thought she was actually super manipulative towards Simon - she's basically like "we are getting married, I will change your opinion". She lies to him about her happiness just with them alone - "I love you unconditionally, but also only if you give me a baby". "You deserve love, you're amazing, now give me what I want". Interested to hear your thoughts!
I respectfully disagree. He told her that he *couldn’t* give her children. She was willing to accept that. It was when she realized that he *could* give her children, and was refusing to do so, that it became a problem. She felt lied to and betrayed. That doesn't make how she handled that situation okay at all. Sexual assault and reproductive coercion have no defense. But her feelings are completely valid, as is her shift on the position of children once she knows she entered a relationship where they could be possible. I will say she should have been more patient and allowed him to work through some of that trauma before revisiting the subject.
@@Book_Dragon2562 Yes, but he technically never told her that the reason why he "couldn't" was specifically because he was physically incapable of producing children either. We don't actually know for sure[ in the tv series] if he intentionally manipulated her into being lead to assume that he was physically incapable or if he simply didn't think about it enough to realize that was what she would assume. I mean, it's not as if she ever asked him specifically *why* he "couldn't" give her children either(unless I am forgetting something). She simply assumed that's why he couldn't and then claimed to accept the fact that he couldn't without ever really asking why not-and rather than confronting him about it after she learned that there was more to it than she initially thought, she just chose to forcibly take from him what he had been refusing to give her without even trying to talk to him about it first and then claimed that the fact he had wronged her first somehow justified it, yet truthfully being provoked and being justified completely are not always the same. We don't actually know that his refusal was purely logical and not every bit as much driven by an involuntary or irrational trauma response-he was fairly distraught and out-of-sorts when he first told her "I can't give you children", and it is possible[ especially considering his response when she forced him to remain inside of her until completion] that he was experiencing that same involuntary/irrational panic again every single time he'd pulled out before that, and that involuntary panic could very well also have been why he struggled to ever answer or explain it to her any further than just that as well. Because we are watching everything from outside of their bodies, not from inside of their minds as we might do within a book. But, either way, they were both flawed and imperfect humans who both screwed up and wronged each other greatly and had to figure out a way to reconcile or forgive each other. So .. I think I can kind of see it both ways, here?
@@Book_Dragon2562 I definitely see your points! Thank you for sharing your perspective. While I was watching the show it felt to me that she didn't actually love him as completely as she claimed to, because she didn't love or respect the part of him that didn't want to have a child. I felt that Simon was actually the one more truly showing her love in refusing to tie her to a life he thought (perhaps mistakenly) that he just could not give her. It didn't feel like she was actually that willing to accept that he couldn't give her children, but that she wanted to change him. But my perspective there might have been off 🤷
@@jaginaiaelectrizs6341e knew how inexperienced and ignorant she was on the subject of sex. I find it extremely difficult to believe he didn’t know what he was implying or what she would believe. But I agree with the rest. Trauma is not logical and it does not naturally heal. And no matter what he did, there is no justifying her trying to force him into parenthood. I had that done to me and wouldn’t wish it on anyone. Even a fictional character.
@@TeaAddictThank you for the openminded and kind response. Its appreciated. I am in no way condoning his deception or her sexually assaulting him and trying to force him into a fathering a child he did not want. But I can understand the feelings of both that lead to their very wrong actions.
Don't love the change, love the willingness and effort to change
Please do the Queen Charlotte series next!!!
That scene in the rai. At thend is something l needed to hear for sure when l watched it
My neighbor has shown true love and acceptance
Could u comment on A Bridgen Story: Queen Charlotte? I think it's an amazing story and I'd love to hear your opinions on it.
And thanks for commenting on Daphne and Simon! This is a video I've been looking forward to since you made that other video about them
great video thanks for sharing
THANK YOU👏✨✨💕💕🌺
Wait till you see Season 2 & Queen Charlotte!!
I have never had acceptance by another person. I was always expected to be perfect before I could be loved, but that is soooooo unattainable. I wish I had known this decades ago because I wasted 50 years of my life trying.
I couldn't watch season 1 past episode 5 and I really hated it. I liked season 2 because the main characters were more matched. Queen Charlotte has the best love story IMO though I hope there's more so we can know if relationships with the children heal.
Please do an episode on Anthony&Kate in Bridgerton season 2 🙏❤️
I unfortunately can't get behind this show/book(s?) because of the assault. That is what it was. I am a survivor of spousal assault and I am glad someone clued me in before I got that far into the show because it would have seriously triggered a panic attack for me. I think what she did was very wrong and forgiveness, if that is what he wanted, should have been EARNED and not just given for the plot to move forward. And I have been told it is worse in the book.
As for having someone who accepts me as I am, my husband actually. This is my second marriage and he accepted me for who I was even when I wasn't sure who that was because I was still putting myself back together after my first abusive marriage. I think the sweetest thing he ever said to me was when I asked him who he wanted me to be, he said Yourself. I freaked out and was crying and said I don't know who that is! His response was, that's okay, you'll figure it out and I'll be here with you the whole way. And he was. He gave me the room to rediscover who I was and then gave me a safe place to be and be loved and to love.
i completely understand this reasoning but also.. she didnt know what sex was until they did it and i doubt she knew it was assault, so yes she did assault him but you can tell she really just wanted to know if she was being lied to
@@zombrii I understand your point of view. I just think it should have been left out entirely. They could have found a different way for her to figure if he was lying. If the topic isn’t going to be handled properly then all it will do is end up triggering panic attacks in survivors. I am not mad at the character so much as I hate how the material was written and I don’t think something like that needed to be in the show or books.
have you seen 'The Fisher King'? I'd love to hear yout thoughts on (after) first date scene, cause for me it's just pure magic
Ever thought about doing this with the love story from season two or the new side story's? I love those relationships too.
Do Queen Charlotte: A bridgerton story plssssssss
from what i remembered queen charlotte was really a black queen married to the mad George (hes that king that is shown in Hamilton)
I feel like all you say about relationship is true, but s1 failed to deliver any coherence in their relationship after the assault.
Sure, she read the letters, but the problem was never shown to be "Simon has low self-esteem"- sure, we can guess that, but it was never explicit.
The problems were "we betrayed each other's trust" and "are old grudges worth ruining the new happiness".
And neither were resolved.
They never learned to trust each other again on-screen (I felt like Daphne especially was not nearly as remorseful as she should've been) and Simon never explicitly chose Daphne over his father on-screen. She said that she loves him no matter what (that wasn't the problem and unlike the book they completely removed his stutter in adulthood, so there isn't even that caveat like "oh, she heard his stutter, he felt deficient, she rebutted that notion") and he said he didn't want to be alone (horrible, like "you're better than being alone, I guess").
It's romantic and a happy end on the surface, but It wasn't even a compromise, it looked like Daphne just got everything she wanted and Simon just gave in. And I felt deeply unsettled at that ending.
S2 made that even worse by leaving out Rege, so I continued feeling like he's just a conceded husband who gave his wife what she wanted (a child) and now wants nothing to do with her, while she gives feeble excuses to her family as to why he's absent ("oh, you know, he's a duke, and that makes him too busy to come to his BROTHER-IN-LAW'S AND UNIVERSITY FRIEND'S WEDDING HOSTED BY THE QUEEN").
1 Corinthians 13 - love is a list of behaviours you choose
The ENTIRE reason I started watching bridgerton was because a main character voiced one of my absolute favorite characters from FF14. Turned out the show was pretty good so I stayed for the whole thing.
Will you please do Kate & Anthony next?!
You should do this but with Kate and Anthony
THIS VIDEO MAKES ME ANGRY HE DID NOT LIE ! HE TOLD HIS TRUTH UNLIKE HER. GROSS ASHE IS GREOSS. I have liked this video thank you for making it you are a very nice youtuber.
If she assult him by current standards didnt he do the smae to her by with holding information that would change her consent preventing from giving informed consent?
Any chance you could look at (the original) Pet Sematary and how not to grieve and the other concepts it touches on like if you could bring someone back would that be a good thing even if they weren’t evil
You wouldn’t have to show any gory bits
Season2 bridgerton plz.... need to know ur thoughts on Anthony
Please do the Season 2 and queen charlotte. PLEASEEEEEEE.. there's a lot to debunk from that seriess
I need bridgerton season 2 please.
They seriously thought the pull out method was going to work. In what universe could they not have accidentally gotten pregnant even with such words like “I can’t have children”? Bridgerton should have made Daphne pregnant before that happened without an implied SA in the minds of modern viewers. This obsession with sex in modern culture keeps people from experiencing chastity (love) that is called for in such a scenario. Chastity is a bond but it is also unbounded to give freely not consumed by endless scrolling or content for pleasure.
Daphne *wanted* to marry. Lady Whistledown's gossip had made her undesirable in her community's eyes. She agreed to the charade with Simon because if the community watched the most eligible bachelor show interest in her, everyone else would remember she's actually a catch too.
No, Daphne didn’t want to be ostrazised or have her family ostrazised not specifically to marry.
@@gaelle4328 lol She did want to marry. Her wish for her family to not be ostracized is separate from that. One doesn't invalidate the other.
I don’t know if anyone has suggested it but The Last of Us on HBO?
It's so weird seeing these positive lessons be pulled from Bridgerton. Everything I'd seen suggested it was Foyles War meets Jersey Shore
Wait, is thact actor going to be the next James Bond?! Is that why we haven't seen Simon return to the series?
To me the first season lost all of his good points thanks to Daphne basically choosing to get him drunk and sexually abuse him to get her own way.
There are some good dialogues here and there, and i liked the casting and the clothing design but overall... it was such a disappointing version of "I'm gonna change him" trope i often dislike.
Lack of children would have been seen as Daphne's fault you know.
Could you please do Harvey and Donna from suits?
KATE & ANTHONYYYYY AHHH I WOULD BE SQUEALING.
Someone made me feel unconditionnally loved...
My ex.
Whom I've broken up with less than a week ago because I don't have enough space for a relationship yet... :(
:(
Can you do Kate and Anthony next?🎉🎉🎉🎉
I think he should be Bond also! 💯
As ypu Do osychology of fictional oartnerships,could you please Do a Video abou Brad and Janet from the Rock horror picture Show? Do you think they are a happy couple celebrating their golden Wedding ?
You didn't see the swoon worthy speech to the Queen
I mean.. technically, he never actually said precisely why he "can't" give her children, if I recall it correctly. And he would not be the first person ever to exaggerate without thinking too hard about how literally applicable the word "can't" is or isn't, or how it may have been misconstrued.😅
There are so many videos that can be done in Star Trek Picard, especially season 3, I'd love to hear your thoughts!
Queen charlotte next please 🥺🥺🥺
Jono, I think you're awesome and would love to have someone like you as a therapist, but for God's sake... learn to push the pause button! You keep talking through the videos and it's really difficult to focus 😂