Dissociation is awful. You just feel so disconnected from everything. To me, it feels like I'm a spectator in my own life, and a lot of times, I'll sort of temporarily "wake up" from that trance and realise, "dang, I'm really here, aren't I?" before slowly transitioning back into Spectator Mode. It just feels like there's a part of me missing that I can't explain or figure out. I think I'd prefer overwhelming emotions, positive _or_ negative, over this...numbness.
sometimes I feel like I’m a child again. I just stare at myself in the mirror, breathe in and realise that “wow. this is real life. I’m really here. I can interact with the things here. wow.” And it absolutely blows my mind every time.
The strangest feeling I get from disassociation is when I suddenly feel like my surroundings are unfamiliar, as if I’ve been dropped into the middle of an unfamiliar place, even though it’s in my own house or something.
My symptoms: -Not feeling like my surroundings are physically there -Feeling like other people arent there -Keep forgetting who i am and what ive done in my life -Constantly getting lost in thought and forgetting alot of things -Feeling like my words and movements arent coming from me -Feeling dizzy/lightheaded easily -Not caring about/feeling physical pain Ive dealed with these symptoms for over a year now and i hope that my therapist will properly diagnose me.
So i have had those symptoms for almost two years now and have coped with it as i bettered my anxiety when i began working and allthough i still feel lightheaded/ dizzy, not caring about physical pain, constantly getting lost and forgetting where i am but have learned to cope with these issued by simply ignoring it isn’t helping but it isnt getting worst and i do feel more confident and less anxiety induced when in public
This is... Scarily accurate to what's been going on with me. For a while I looked up DID and BPD (Dissociative Identity Disorder and Borderline Personality Disorder) and it hit pretty close to home as well. At the moment, I'm still confused about it all. I try not to think too much on it anymore because a lot of the time I feel like I'm faking it somehow or being confused, and I get depressed. But this, this is pretty damn close. I don't feel pain, I don't feel here, I'm away somewhere and I can never remember anything, unless it was a WHILE back or a few days. I can barely remember shit I did 6 minutes ago by now. It's annoying lol
i’ve had all of those for over two years already (wow it’s been so long lol) and i’ve given up trying to feel real and in the moment again. i miss that lively feel of laughing my heart out with a group of friends and never wanting to leave. now i stop in the middle of laughter to try and remember why i was laughing and why i suddenly don’t want to laugh anymore. it’s so strange and i don’t think i’m ever going to get out. scary in the early couple months of feeling this, it felt like i was stuck in 8th grade when it started. now that it’s been so long and i’ve forgotten all the fun memories from then, idk who i am anymore or who i was it’s all just so confusing. and there people asking me what i want to major in in college? like bitch idk who tf’s body i’m standing in rn
My way of describing it is it feels like playing a video game in 3rd person. Your character is you. You controll them. You press the buttons. You know your skills and stats. You can see your hp and mp. You know when your hurt and take damage; or when you're tired and have a debuff. But you stop feeling it. Sometimes you wonder if maybe even there's someone else in there that does.
I recently used a video game analogy to describe the problem I’ve been having to my therapist. It’s like I get in my head and suddenly these experiences aren’t mine, they’re someone else’s. I’m just watching. I told her it makes me feel like a fraud. Like I’m not really enjoying life with these ppl.
@@AUTHENTICXO i feel you there. I think i used RPGs throughout my life as a way of not feeling so bad about the fraud side. It's like... Taking a choose your own adventure structure and applying it to yourself i guess? At least, that helps me feel a little more invested in my choices and surroundings.
I think I’ve had derealization for years and let me say, it is the hardest thing to describe to people. The weirdest feeling ever it’s so hard to deal with but to put a name to it and seeing others have it helps me feel less crazy
Now im doing my level best to overcome from disociation That's im interested in doing the realitistic things what the normal peoples will do but those things or works are completely devoid of logic. And then that caused me a mouth breathing little bit. And then this disorder is associated with the anger and burnout signs Will u pls clarify which episode is this in disociation
I never realized I was dissociating my whole childhood untill I looked back and realized I couldn't feel anything during some of the bad memories and I completely blocked out others. What hurts the most for me is the depersonalization - it was fueled by the fact my main guardian always told me "You never experienced anything painful. You were only a witness" and it created such a strong disconnect between what I felt and what I thought and who I was. A truly awful way to cope with an even worse environment
yup being a witness sucks and to being led to believe that it'd help. being helpless brought me a lot of regret with choices i couldnt make and things i wish i couldnt just disassociate but face them and learn to do so.
Dissociation can be one of the worst things. But, from my experience, I believe it worked as a coping mechanism when things at home were too tough to deal with. Now that I'm older, I found the space to really heal and reconnect with my emotions and deal with the hurt that can come along with it. I suppose what I really want to say is that we have to find a space in our life where we can finally believe and feel that it's "safe to feel" and be vulnerable.
You will feel like you're in a movie, there is a filter between you and the world. It's like being high/drunk - without the fun part. Everything's on auto-pilot. All of the the decisions are pre-determined. When you wash your hands it feels like you are touching your hands for the first time. Ironically, you will probably enjoy it the first few times it hits because it's an escape or maybe it's just me but it stays with you day after day and then when you actually want to experience the world, you can't. There is nothing you can do that's gonna connect you to the world. You're gonna wake up in the morning thinking it's gone, but after a couple of minutes you realize it's still there and you go about your day. You will probably talk about it with your friends and they do not know what to say. You are here but not present.
Excuse me but what is the fun part of being high for me it definitely wasn't when I took a bunch of coke and dissappeared for 3 days and only surviving by the skin of my teeth or what about my friend who nearly died because he was high on meth and thought he was invincible so he ran out onto the duel carriageway got run over by a car doing 70 only survived because he was lucky being high isn't always fun so don't say it is
@@theemofemboycatgirlw3214 Dude, by fun, most likely he means alcohol and weed; getting crossfaded in other words.. In your case though, you happened to run into coke and meth, which if you ask anybody, those are 100% not fun together, especially the meth. I don't think I ever heard or seen someone try to defend meth to be used in "medicinal" or "responsible" amounts, like cannabis and alcohol, feel me?
Psilocybin containing mushrooms saved my life. The drastically reduced my benzodiazepine withdrawal allowing me to quite illicit pill addiction after three years of heavy daily use before it would had became medically dangerous to quit. It has also helped me survive depression.
@Micheal Harris I was having this constant, unbearable anxiety because of university stress. Not until I came across dr.sporess, a very intelligent mycologist. He saved my life honestly
Dissociation memory loss actually isn't always super obvious. It's not always a sudden "jump" (although sometimes it is). But there can also be a "transition period" when you aren't really even aware enough to realize you can't remember. As an example, I might be playing guitar, then realize that I'm playing guitar, then realize I don't know how long I've been playing guitar, then realize the last thing I remember is being in the kitchen making lunch and that can't remember the last three hours. So there's still a gap in memory, but the realization might come gradually rather than in a jarring transition. And sometimes the realization doesn't come at all. Like, I'll be going about my day, turn around to make my bed, or put the groceries away, or do laundry, and it's already done. So there's a gap, but I would never have realized without something moving in the environment or something. And sometimes you notice a jarring transition, but you're so dissociated that you don't even register that its jarring or scary. You have like no thoughts or emotions about it. You're just zoned out
For some reason this happens to me with like people ? Like I’ll remember someone by my side but the they’re somehow in front of me now ? Ah it’s so annoying
Often times I drive to an appointment, to a friend or somewhere else just to realise that I cant remember how I got there. However, if I try hard enough and think of the general way I must have taken, I can recollect part of the memory.
I guess I've had a lot of dissociation, I've been avoiding discord and twitter dms and anything related to socializing cuz it only causes me depression because of my loneliness, but also I'm aware that I don't spend too much time working on content or drawing or learning new things and I really wish I was more dedicated but I just don't have the motivation to do so
You can do it, I promise. Even if you pick up a pencil and doodle an eyeball on the corner of a receipt, you’re still drawing! You’re still allowing yourself to express yourself. It doesn’t have to be a big thing where you sit down with 135 coloured pencils and an Inking pen and spend 72 hours drawing. It can just be a sketch you doodle absentmindedly while on your phone. Allow yourself little moments. You’re not failing if you have these little moments, you’re actually winning! Be kind to yourself, you got this, ☺️❤️
Somewhag relatable, except i post full colored, large complex drawings very often, and i barely get 10 likes. So when i see a comment, i don't read it until days later, for some reason.
I'm 3 months late btw Listen to an artist called adam duff on RUclips he's my favorite every time I struggle with motivation, and remember one thing you don't look around for motivation you make it yourself :) Don't force yourself to do things tho.
This made me realize so much about myself and the fact I've been complaining about feeling like I'm in a dream since I was 9. The change was abrupt too. I could remember how I felt before feeling this way, and never being able to experience reality in the same way ever since. Sometimes when I look at my reflection or focus on my thoughts too much, I start to become too aware of my existence. Almost like "waking up", or being too conscious, and then it feels like I'm not inside of my body at all. It's a weird-ass feeling!
Yes I remember when I was younger it felt like I was in a grey “bubble” like nothing was real around me in that bubble but outside it life was normal. I would look in the mirror and actually see myself and think “I’m actually real?” Lmfao
i feel in the same way, when i was travelling with my family, i fell asleep (or that was what thought) and wake up in the table of a restaurant, i just forgot how i got there, and my parents say that i walked up to the table, at the time i thought i was a sleepwalker, and after that, i feel anxious and dizzy or if i was in a dream and a weird one. please, forgive me if my english is bad, i dont speak english at all :'v
Thank you. I was always terrified by this because it happened whenever I was in tense situations, such as sports games or other things. I always felt like I was vulnerable and sad because nobody else knew what was going on.
I’m 24 . Sometimes I still feel like the kid I was when I was freshly 18 . I see everyone at my work or in public that I think and view them as there older then me to only come to find out there around my age. People often are surprised by my age as well because I have a full beard . When I look at my self I feel this sense that my life is going by so fast and I can’t wrap my mind around it . I recently got out of a 4 year relationship and I feel like I lost most of my memories and mind when I try to tract them down . I just simply forgot everything when people talk about a memory and say “ damn that was two years ago remember “ I just don’t remember .
Right? I’m about to turn 23, and what you said about losing your memories hits home. It’s like my brains deleting my memories as I go, old friends bring up important moments in our relationships and I’ve slowly over the years not been able to remember any of them. I feel like I know them the same, but I can’t directly remember anything. It’s like a mist over my life, I can remember my feelings but not events or situations and I feel like I have barely lived even though time is flying simply because I cannot remember my life. I don’t know why nobody I know has this, I often blame it on smoking way too much weed. However I’ve stopped smoking over 6 months ago and nothing has changed.
Only sometimes? I'm 32 and have felt 15 this entire time lmao. No joke. The movie I relate to most, by far, is Big. Does anyone *actually* ever feel like an adult? Does anyone *actually* not want to climb trees and ride bikes anymore? I'm sure at a certain point this mentality is bad, but the thought of "growing up" is so pointless to me
hey yall, hope you guys are doing well, and sorry that you guys are going through all this, but do hope things get better for you guys, and things always get better even if it takes some time, and there's always light at the end of the tunnel, keep on treading along for sooner or later you'll over come this. Much love to you all and God bells Matthew 11:28-30 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
Is this why nothing feels real anymore. I'm just drifting through life at this point. I feel so out of it all the time. I forget things all the time throughout the day to the point where I will get home from somewhere and be like "wait where was I?".
I know exactly what you mean, a lot of times I'll have to ask the fiance what I was doing and if I was talking or saying anything because I'll be holding a conversation or I'll be in the middle of a task and then suddenly my mind's just gone and then when I come back I don't remember anything prior to it because I wasn't really actually there if that makes sense.
like literally this morning i said something to my friend and 30 seconds later i thought she said what i had and legit didn’t remember what i said at all like it was scary asf not to remember what i said seconds before
I have this every once in a while, sometimes for a few hours and sometimes for a few days. I remember dissociating, kind of like having an out-of-body experience, as a child when I was living with my abusive parent, and so I know that's why it's happening. It's a weird feeling but it doesn't worry me like it used to! Everybody hang in there ♥️
I haven't thought about this since I was a kid, but I remember this happening to me a few times. It would start out of the blue and I could feel it coming on. I don't remember being scared of the feeling, necessarily. I felt numb, also that the sounds and sights around me seemed distant. This feeling would last for hours. I only remember it happening during the day while at school and I have memories of it seemingly happening when it was loud with commotion around me, like during lunch or recess. I haven't thought about this in years, probably the last time it happened was middle school. I never felt the need to tell anyone about it, at least in detail - maybe I said I felt "weird". I had an abusive stepmom, after my mom dying when I was very young, I felt that has affected me emotionally and may have been why I experienced this and it's good to know I wasn't the only one who experienced this
Tips for Dpdr 1. Maintaining a good diet and sleep schedule makes the biggest difference for this 2. rubbing your fingers together and thinking about the feeling. 3. if you are sad, then you should cry. if you have dpdr it’s normally easy to turn off your emotions in almost any bad situation but if you try to experience them it will help you feel more real. 4. when dissociating, think to yourself, “I’m going to do this now.” what ever you thought about doing, then do it. it can be as simple as moving your hand to a different position, but you made that decision. you thought it out.
Especially for number 3 teaching myself to cry really helped ground me a lot and each time things would feel and get better almost instantly and naturally. That being said it's been a while since I've made myself do it again but I recognize how helpful and regulating it can be
This explains why I consistently forget the details of virtually every argument I've ever had almost immediately after it concludes, especially with my mom. Thanks for uploading this.
Not necessarily I wouldn't ever use this videos as a means to determine a problem you have but if you do relate to videos like these it may be best to seek out someone who has the skills and knowledge to help you
Omg me too! I’ve had to take multiple takes to try to remember what exactly I was arguing about with my mom, even some points I was going to make, so I would have to write things down so I know for sure I could remember it later on
I think your adrenaline builds up and you just black out during the argument, doubt that you have “disassociation” issues frm that example specifically..
@@veroxx8260 A couple weeks we had a argument (me and mom) and was exactly like you, we argued a bit face to face but forgot so many things i wanted to say, a couple hours after went on pc and had to write everything i had to say and send her a message. It sucks :(
As someone with depersonalization/derealization disorder, I appreciate this so much. When I was trying to figure out what was "wrong" with me, I could have really used something that explains it as well as this video. For all of my fellow dissociated folks, stay strong, it won't last forever (or so I'm told lol). Edit: Oh wow, didn't expect to get so many responses. Sorry for my late replies.
hey fellow dpdr mate !! :3 i'm just glad that i'm always able to "come back to reality" in less than a minute by deviating my thoughts :) but dissociation comes in different forms and shapes afterall so not everyone's able to do that **sigh** though I also believe that it won't last forever !! sometimes it may just automatically go away as you go on with your life but if not, you'll atleast learn to control it better and better through therapy ! I just view it as a part of my life rather than a threat so ig it comes down to how you perceive things :]
@nekobarp 🏳️🌈 Hi there! First and foremost, not everyone can get an official diagnosis, so no hate towards self-diagnosing here. I started talking to my parents about it when I was 14 or 15, and later got a psychologist then a psychiatrist and here we are. My understanding is that derealisation is like a fever when you are sick. It's not the fever you have a problem with, its just your body showing you that something else is going on. Derealisation is often connected to depressive disorders or obsessive-compulsive ones (like I have) and therefore it is treated with those medications. SSRIs are a big help for some people, for me eeeh, they don't hurt I guess. It become a disorder when the derealisation and depersonalisation are constant or keep repeating. Stress is definitely one of major triggers for it, but not the only one. Hope that helped a bit :)
I've been experiencing dissociation for 2 years and a half... I'm at the point that I'm getting used to it but it still bothers me from time to time. I miss feeling normal again
Lived with that misery called Dissociation little over 4 years…. It’s truly a terrible experience…. But eventually I broke away, when I started to follow some new true purpose. Persuing and focusing on brighter future (rather than thinking about the past or present) truly set me free from that hell. I came out filled with energy and stronger than ever…. For all those who “live” with dissociation: Please, endure. Good time will come, solve your problems one by one and have patience. Remember, there will always be someone who loves you in this world… even if you don’t see it.
I've had this feeling for years after going through months of terrible pain. It doesn't hit you right away, it came after about a year for me. It's your brain's way of handling trauma that's too much to cope with. To me it feels like your old life is over, and you're living a kind of hazy afterlife now. Watching yourself exist despite not feeling alive, it's a feeling I've sadly become extremely familiar with. Hopefully one day there will be a treatment or maybe even a cure. I remain hopeful
I realy adore that you are still hopeful. Well yes, there aren't any explicit medications for dissociation, but there definitely are ways to cope, ease the symptoms and in time, get rid of it entirely. Perhaps seek profesional, cognitive behavioral or dialectal behavioral therapies. Both might not work, but that isnt a reason to blane yourself for it. They are also fully confidential and discrete, and definitely worth the shot. There are also plenty of articles on the internet that can provide you with coping techniques and certain life hacks to self-help. I know that it might be difficult to do because shool/work and other responsibilities might get in your way, geting enough sleep, avoiding stress triggers or things like going for walks and simply trying to get yourself comfortable by some selfcare might help alleviate the condition. Maybe some tricks like snifing levander when you feel like dissociating and other things that help you ground yourself might help. I know it will take time, but try reaching out for help and find ways you can help yourself. I wish you to do well.
when it comes to having dpdr (depersonalization/derealisation disorder) one of the biggest things i noticed myself is issues with my vision. things often look blurry, too dark, too bright, flat or 2d, have a vignette, or are covered with a layer of static. when it’s at its worst things looks way too far away or flicker like a movie reel. if you feel like there’s something wrong with your vision but eye doctors can’t find anything and you struggle with anxiety and/or depression, this is definitely something to look into !
This happens to me too I always feel like it’s so hard to explain!! For me things are so dull and bland looking or like I’m staring through a screen, like there’s some weird invisible barrier in front of everything I’m looking at
I have perception distortion problems, as in, by chance looking at my own hands and thinking they're smaller or larger. I know my hands don't change size. It's just weird to look at. Door handles at waist high will appear out of reach. Also literal tunnel vision. My peripheral vision disappears.
@@traceygahan5344 oh yeah that’s a good way to explain it ! i have that too sometimes, rooms often feel fake and like a dollhouse because they feel too big or too small
@@jordanlovesmoviesss it rly is hard to put into words sometimes :O it would be easier to turn the saturation and clarity down in someone’s brain, cuz that’s honestly how it feel sometimes
Truly the worst feeling you can ever imagine. Unless you are going through it or have gone through it, you can NEVER understand. I have been suffering from this off and on for the last two years and the last 6 months it has progressively gotten so much worse. The last month it has been the most brutal time of my life.. waking up every morning dizzy and lightheaded to the point of not wanting to even shower and feeling like nothing around me was real. I noticed when I drank it nearly completely went away, so I started self medicating. It started with drinking wine at 8pm until I was able to go to sleep.. then 5pm.. then mid day.. then when I woke up.. and it became so bad that I would wake up 5-10 times in the middle of the night from the anxiety and pour wine just to get back to sleep.. I finally broke. I had enough. I couldn't work anymore.. I had to be tipsy/drunk just to work from home where I didn't even interact with anyone because the dissociation was _that_ bad. I couldn't function otherwise. I honestly thought I had a brain tumor because I have never heard anyone else talk about this before and I thought I was dying until I looked it up and found out about dissociation. Wow. I have never felt less alone but scared.. stories of people being cured after 5 years.. 5 years?? I cannot go another FIVE DAYS like this. I then decided to contact a doctor and she prescribed me Lexapro for my severe social anxiety/depression/panic attacks and while I know a pill doesn't solve everything, I am two and a half weeks into it but it's also been the most emotionally excruciating time of my life (if you take this, please beware your dissociation may be magnified tenfold as your brain adjusts) and today was the first time in over two years that I woke up aware. I felt like me. I waited for it to pass as it always does until I tailspin into dissociation about 30-60 minutes later, but it never passed. FOR THE FIRST TIME IN FOREVER I WENT AN ENTIRE DAY WITHOUT DISSOCIATING. I know tomorrow will be different but I am so thankful for today. Please do not be afraid to seek help. I don't even have a primary care doctor and was prescribed through urgent care - that's how done I was. You CAN get help and you CAN get better. This truly is the worst feeling anyone can ever imagine and I would not wish it on a soul. My dissociation would last from the moment I wake up until I somehow go to sleep. I now have hope. I don't know what tomorrow will bring, but at least there is hope. I'm editing this comment because it came up on my feed again and I forgot I had ever even watched this video, let alone commented on it. I wanted to give an update. LEXAPRO SAVED MY LIFE. I was off of it for a couple of months while in between doctors and I was back at square one. My medication completely healed every single symptom mentioned in the video that I had been suffering for years. There IS hope. Please talk to your doctor. You can be okay again, or for once ❤
I just wanted to say I’m so, so proud of you, and I’m so glad you’ve gained some hope. You’re going to get through this, and I wish you all the best. Keep going
I’ve dealt with this for most of my childhood probably 15 years. After I realized what it was I don’t experience it as much anymore and I also go to therapy. I’m not sure what is the cause of yours but I feel like this is some thing I’ll probably have to deal with forever to some degree. Now I notice when I’m dissociating and have found different tools to cope.
I didn't even know that dissociation existed but after after watching this video and realizing that I've been dealing with all those symptoms/signs for years I know that I've probably been dealing with dissociation for a long time. I especially feel like I'm just a spectator. Had this feeling for years and always thought it was normal...
I feel there reasons why that need to be Rectified it’s not normal I have the same feelings there’s things we should be doing but we choose to Disassociate
To everyone experiencing dissociation right now, I want to give you hope that you CAN get better. I dealt with a lot of trauma ages 15-18, and I ended up dissociating as a coping mechanism. I felt like I was in autopilot and couldn’t feel anything even if I tried. Then, I went to college and escaped my traumatic experience. However, this only triggered my worst episode of dissociation. I had no idea who I was or how to act in this new world where I was safe, and I felt more alone and depressed than ever before. I tried for so long to escape the dissociation, but felt like the effort was futile, and I feared I would always be like that. However, with therapy and a lot of self-work, I was finally able to get better. It took about a year of work, but I now feel present in life, and it is the best feeling ever. I of course have my bad days where I suddenly feel disconnected again, but I have the coping skills to deal with these days. Please please please get help if you are experiencing this. It’s not hopeless despite how trapping it feels. My tips are to attend therapy, meditate, self reflect, spend time looking at yourself in a mirror and repeating “I am real, I am alive.” And most if all, don’t panic when the dissociation surges. Fear is what feeds dissociation (at least it was for me). So when you get that feeling of disconnection, acknowledge it and and just let it pass. It could take the whole day, but I have found that not panicking is the best way to fight it. Lastly, remember to love yourself. You are not less of a person or a sociopath for being this way, you are just as worthy of love as anyone else. Thank you if you read this long comment; I hope it helps someone ❤️
Thank you so much for this! I’ve been experiencing the worst episodes of dissociation and having anxiety attacks from it too it honestly makes it worst when the anxiety hits, I feel better and calm reading your comment
Idk what I have at this point I feel like I'm on auto pilot waking up doing the same thing every day hardly any emotions my self consciousness has dropped so much blurred vision legit thought I had a brain tumor and had a ct scan and a lot of other shit I've been depressed on and off but 2021 it was legit the worse its ever been start of 2022 is when I became a actual robot I can't remember simple things if anyone knows wtf is wrong with me or if it's brain fog or something to do with depression that would help so much I also spend most my days looking at a screen and have a lot of anxiety if anyone actually reads this I appreciate you so much.
My wife suffers from the 'dream' part almost every day thanks to 19 years of abuse by her parents. We take it one day at a time together. Never give up, people.
I hope your wife recovers one day! Has her dissociation ever made her confused and not want to be with you? I’m curious about a lot of things and you’re a super trooper for being with her
i’ve been dissociated for almost 3 years now. i woke up with it one day and it still hasn’t gone away. everything feels like a dream and my emotions are so dull. i wish everyone experiencing this the best and you’re not alone 💝
16 years for me. I remember reading something about a decade ago explaining that if you have it for more than 2 years, chances are you wont get rid of it bc its so deeply rooted in who you are. I got it around 10-11 and im 27 now, the most ive had are those few seconds of clarity before im back to spectator mode, which i get a lot but its more of a tease really.
@@blhu_oce what have you tried doing to fix it? i tried getting on anti depressants but that made things worse, i tried changing my diet since that could apparently help according to some people. i’m trying to book a chiropractor to see if that would help since a lot of people have found that working. best of luck to you my friend. life is lame in spectator mode
Well, I’m relieved to know that I’m not a victim of dissociation, at least according to this list of symptoms. Thank you for being informative, and for those who are dealing with this, stay strong and reach out!
@@kyliejo2881 We're all fighting our own battles. While I don't dissociate, I have inattentive ADD. Mental illness is not a competition, and we should all be supportive of each other.
This channel scratches the surface of psychology. It's not in depth. My dissociation is different due to my complicated issues, but I still have it. Best of luck to you in finding what you're dealing with.
It’s like watching everything through a window. I can see the family doing things, having fun, eating, talking, but I’m not really part of it. It’s a strange and awful feeling to be doing something, but also feel like you’re just watching yourself go through the motions. I lived in this state almost continually for a month last year because every time I wasn’t dissociating I was having a panic attack or extreme anxiety. Being present in my body was too terrifying and my brain did it what it could to help me. I ended up sleeping as much as I could just to escape.
oh my gosh, that's what I've been going through for months now. that feeling of constantly dissociating, my brain blocking absolutely everything, not feeling anything, not being actually there, and on the moments I'm not dissociating, I'm having extreme panic attacks/depressive episodes or extreme anxiety, I have them at least weekly to almost daily. I've just been trying to stay productive as much as I can but I'm doing literally everything like a zombie. It makes me lose my mind sometimes. I keep thinking what's the point in everything I do? But I do it anyways just because I know laying in bed isn't gonna help me either, I've been dealing with severe mental illness for 7 years now so I kinda got used to it? I feel like this has caused my dissociation to finally develop, because especially the last few years have been traumatizing. It has been like this for me for 7 months straight now.. and I wonder so many times how I'm still here.
Dissociation helps a lot with forgetting traumatizing things that happened to you. I forget stuff for years until someone brings it up then there goes all of the memories coming back. I zone out so much I try to stop but I can’t. I don’t feel pain at all I just let it bottle up and turn into anger. Wow I have a lot of issues.
I've been aware of dissociation for a while now and have dissociated several times in my past. However, I realised very recently that I dissociate quite frequently as a coping mechanism after my mental health got a lot worse. It's always interesting to me how I can have a lot of knowledge about psychology but overlook what's happening in my own mental health.
I feel that. I'm pretty good at taking other people's psychological situations and giving them good mental advice but when it comes to me.. It's extremely difficult to listen to myself.
It hurts. Everyone always tells me shit like "don't self diagnose" and I'm literally mid telling them how I have every symptom of a mental illness and all they wanna do is tell me I'm crazy for wanting to stop feeling like I'm crazy.
I remember at a very young age, I had this haunting feeling like I was a passenger in my body, peering through the windows of my eyes, feeling like I was subconsciously acting out the will of some entites. In middle school I used to forget the class I needed to go to halfway walking to it, or sometimes the specific building I was in or where I was exactly, it was pretty scary trying to recollect where I was or what I was doing, but still, I'm hesitant in saying I have any condition.
I was starting to question whether I was really actually dissociating because people keep saying "it's like living in 3rd person" which it never was like to me. Like... It rather felt like a.... 2nd first-person perspective... Hearing someone else say this for the first time is a bit calming.. This is all still very scary to me. I don't know how to work with this.
sorry that you guys are going through this but, many have broken away from it or have gotten it under control to a certain degree, but I hope you guys break away from it as well, much love to you all, hang in there and God bless ! Matthew 11:28-30“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
Feeling like a passenger in your own body, at least for me, is 100% the result of accepting that we have no free will. I'd actually argue that's how we *should* feel
I have a lot of memory loss, and sometimes I get yelled at just for forgetting something that apparently was just told. I have trauma from when I was younger due to family problems, and at first I never realized that I had been through trauma. But when I started therapy and learned more about why I have memory loss and how it was caused I was kind of shocked..
Yes! I can relate. It kinda sucks feeling different but it’s such a relief to finally get some answers & realize you’re not alone and you’re not weird for reacting the way you are. One thing I’ve been trying to be, is more patient with my mind, because though I find dissociation as a nuisance, my brain is just doing it’s best to protect me. Cheers to surviving & pursuing therapy! ❤️
What helped me dealing with dissociative symptoms was practicing mindfulness to become more aware of when I was in the state of dissociation, accepting the feeling of numbness and also feeling sad about being in the state of feeling numb. Feeling sad about lacking emotions and recognising what dissociation does to my life helped me get back to my emotions. However I also find it important to try to find out why one is dissociating to find a convincing reason to fight it. I'm very thankful that I had a good therapist supporting me during this journey.
I’d like to point out that you can derealize without having dissociation. I derealize every once in a while, and it’s best to just do something that grounds you such as paying deep attention to each of your senses
I feel like full distraction only helps to not think about the symptoms of Derealization rather than actually decreasing the feeling but that is only me maybe
It can certainly be comforting to know that you’re not alone with this. I know it’s a hard journey, but we will make it. I believe in you and I hope that you’re doing well ❤️
@@nuhvaa4280 i certainly take the days a second at a time. I can’t describe how I’m doing really, it’s just not amazing I can say lol. Thank you for your kind words and I do hope that you are doing well and making it on your end as well❤️
(TW) For me I've always had this specific description for what dissociating feels like that tends to make a lot of my friends freak out when I tell them about it. For me it's like everything loses just how vivid it is, like if everything lost shimmer and color. And your hearing is somehow muffled. Everything looks unfamiliar, and you feel unsafe. Everyone looks like they wanna hurt you. So you try to stay away from people. You look down and look up expecting everyone to be gone, to be in an empty room with nobody because you can't even tell that people are there. They don't feel real and neither do you. Every thought you have leaves your head to make way for another, so you forget most everything that has happened for the maybe hours you dissociate for. You feel physically uncomfortable and understimulated. You stare at the same thing for a long time because you don't even know what's happening. Eventually you begin to panic because nothing feels real and every second lasts a lifetime, or doesn't happen at all. It's entirely terrifying for me...
yes its muffled and everything you see is through a veil or something like that. i have definitely stared for hours. you lose sense of time. i hear things sometimes. i have warped visions and feel that its unsafe to be around people and if i could just be alone. thanks for bringin this out. this definitely made sense. thank you
I can sort of understand this although for me it isn't as serious. Nothing is muffled or blurry, but I do sometimes stare and think of nothing, and it kinda feels like I was meant to be by myself, like people shouldn't be there Edit: And ofc it starts to scare me too because nothing feels real
This is the most accurate depiction of disassociating I’ve seen. I always feel like I’m shrunk back in my own head and everything is in slow motion or no motion at all. I stare blankly and can’t speak.
I’ve often wondered about whether I dissociate during arguments with my mom, or during stressful situations. Because while I’m physically present and responding at intervals, my mind is either blank or just distant and thinking about other things. But now after learning more about it I know that no, I’m not dissociating. I’m merely compartmentalizing to get through the situation. Which is similar but not the same thing. Thank you for this, it was very helpful
I’m no expert, but I have dealt with trauma. Dissociation is a very wide spectrum, and can include so many symptoms. This does sound like a type of dissociation to me. You might feel disconnected from your emotions, which is a way your brain protects you from them. Feeling like you’re not really present in the moment can also be a big sign of dissociation. While I cannot diagnose you, you are very much describing dissociation.
@@emerald4812 well I’m not fully disconnected from my emotions, I willfully decide to not respond to them. Like I register something getting said upset me but unless it’s truly egregious I don’t react, even though I may have a response. I just emotionally remove myself I guess
I haven’t been diagnosed with anything dissociative, and I’m honestly not sure I’ll bring up my symptoms with my therapist yet as it all feels very surreal and almost as if I were imagining everything. Whenever I experience symptoms like this, it’s like you said, where you feel like your mind goes blank. I’m still doing things and saying things, but my mind almost feels like it’s been disconnected from what I’m currently saying or doing. This happens most often during conversations. I still see myself as it should be, but sometimes when I look at myself, I see something as being ‘wrong’ or not really myself, yet I still feel like me. It’s really hard and confusing to explain XD For the longest time I thought I was completely emotionally numb, it made me really depressed, but then someone pointed out times that I had been obviously happy, and I remembered being happy, but afterwords felt almost foreign. Having a blast playing a card game in my memory turns into simply me playing a card game. No emotions attached. Besides other symptoms that may or may not be related, I did have a few crazy dreams that I always for some reason remember. I almost never have dreams, but there’s a few in my life that stand out considerably.
I've had this a few weeks ago. I was chatting with someone in a public space and suddenly nothing felt real anymore. I felt like I was going crazy, talking to myself instead of the person I was with. I actually had to remember interactions of other people with this other person to convince myself they were really there and I wasn't losing my mind. I've disassociated before but never for this long or intensely, it was scary.
people think you are crazy or you think you are crazy and somehow things go along but you dont know how. memory loss and hallucination. its crazy how a conversation goes you are there but you arent and how did everything make sense. its very surreal.
@@Psych2go This Helps Me through alot of Tough Times and I had Burnout and when I watched your Video I thought it will A Change of Pace for me in life thank you so much Your Help. 💙❤
This is SPOT ON. I experienced these about a year before finally having to walk away from an emotionally abusive 9 year relationship with a guy I loved so, so much. My therapist at the time had repeatedly mentioned dissociation and to be honest, I pretty much blew it off because I was hyperfocused on other troubling matters at the time. I didn't realize how telling it was. I would be at a friend's get together or out at dinner with my family or my ex and all of a sudden it was as if my soul had literally walked out of my body to observe in a meloncholy sort of way. Everything around me slowed it's motion, conversations became muffled and it's as if I was looking at everyone from the eyes of say, a fly on the wall. Absolutely surreal. And just as quickly as it came, it went. Whilst completely sober, I would forget how I got home. I'd forget who I had spoke to on the phone throughout the day. It was crazy. My therapist said it's because my stress levels were so high that my thoughts would be constantly running consciously, but mostly in the background, so much so that I was not "present" in many of those moments. Scary to think about while driving. It also correlates to off the chart cortisol levels in my body around that time. I'm a very sensitive person, not just emotionally but physically as well. I don't tolerate pain well at all, but during these moments of dissociation I could endure much more. Like she mentioned in the video, I had all of these unexplained bruises on my body that I couldn't account for. One time a coworker came up and pointed out my bruised shin. He commented on how he thought it would have been bigger. I asked him what he was talking about so he explained that apparently the last shift I had worked I ended up falling....I had completely forgotten. Something like that would have normally made me feel queasy but I had no reaction other than wondering why I couldn't remember hurting myself so badly. Scary stuff, man.
I’ve been dealing with this for the past 8 years of my life. I just turned 30 and i have thrown 8 of the quite seriously the most precious years of my life away in such an overwhelming state of depression, loss of personal identity, and just general consideration for self. Mentally dormant. Every ounce of passion, enthusiasm, imagination, curiosity, and most of all ambition, extinguished. I had hit my maximum as to the negative feelings I was capable of dealing with and just split off from the real world, my problems were no longer *my problems.* I adopted a hauntingly nihilistic mindset that dominates every sense of worry or abandon I feel even to this day. It protects me from any pain, guilt, and damage, and it’s fucking killing me. All I have now is shame and a steadfast sense of humor helping me along this fast-forwarding of my life. I have no idea how to get out. I’m dying quickly and I can’t stop.
i’ve been in a depersonalization state for over two years. the last time i felt present in the moment was probably in my 8th grade year. i’m almost a junior now. it’s been scary not remembering random things because i don’t have the feeling of panic or urgency because of the reassurance that it’s “not my body, the real life people can take care of that, i’m safe out here” type thing. it sounds like nonsense but i’m at the point where i’ve given up trying to feel real again.
That lack of urgency hits so close to home. To me, it feels like I'm playing a video game and I'm just controlling this character. Everyone around me is an NPC, pixels on a screen, shapes and colors, characters reciting lines already written for them. And whenever anything distressing happens, it feels like a cutscene. Like I'm watching a pre-recorded video of the next plot point that's going to advance the story. And of course you can't interact with cutscenes, nor can you really change anything even when you are given minimal control over your character. Those emotional scenes are up to the characters in the story, not me, the player. What do you expect me to do? Press E to help the guy that just fell? I didn't even realize that was an option. Where was the button prompt for that? For me, I don't know when the last time I ever felt real was. I'm always at least a little depersonalized/derealized, and it's scary to think what it'd feel like to be totally grounded. I don't think I even believe it's possible.
Been dealing with depersonalization for at least 5 years now, it's pretty awful - i feel like time goes back so quickly now compared to before but meditating seems to alleviate it a tad
The first few years of depersonalization/ derealization suck and all you can ever think about is why it won’t go back to normal or the way it was. Eventually you learn to live in your new reality and it won’t bother you as much. Takes years and years though. Mines not gone and it’s been 12 years.
Have been with dissociation all my life and the biggest thing that helped is learning to accept it and work with it. To be kind and understanding to myself. I don't punish myself, I immediately note down what's happening and pay attention to patterns. It's ok for me to dissociate, if my mind needs that escape then go for it but I let it know I am safe, we are safe and that it's ok to come back. Keeping a journal and using dissociation prompts helped drastically as well. One is taking 5 min to note down everything you did or what happened that day, everything that happened outwardly only. Do that 3 times a day and note the time. That helps with heavy dissociation and connect with reality again. Fighting against dissociation will put you in a constant battlefield mode that you will lose, be kind and understanding to yourself as that is the most powerful thing you can do to help yourself.
I loved that they finally brought up dissociation, but I wish they touched more on the fact that derealization/depersonalization can turn into a disorder where someone is stuck experiencing dissociative symptoms every single day.
as someone with ADD. This is just what my life has been anyways. It would be the perfect place for my subconsciousness to hide my struggles as a person. You... might want to get checked for ADHD inatentive though if you feel like this is constant.
@@blackqweenmars it is funny you brought that up because sometimes disassociation is like a break from my adhd and my mind can just exist. I know it is not a good thing to have happen but I try to paint it in a positive light so I don't start making myself feel bad for it happening.
I recently had a panic attack a few weeks ago. I was already feeling pretty stressed out around that time but through a move from my mind to calm myself down, I started feeling anxious about being anxious, which made me spiral into some of the symptoms in the video. It was like I was being pushed out of my own body, like I was losing control and my reality was going blurier and blurier. There were times when I calmed myself down a bit but this went on for 2 days at least. Most of my trauma is relatively minor in the grand scheme of things, prolonged bullying in primary school by students and teachers alike, and getting run over by a car 2 years ago being the 2 that come to mind. However, like my parents, I'm naturaly anxious. The fact that my anxiety can invite itself at any time and amplify my stress to this degree is frightning. It's such a fucked up loop to find yourself in. It was scary but it served as reminder to take care myself and my mental health, something that I neglected a bit too much with college and all that. Anyway, thank you for posting this. Knowing It's a real thing and somthing that others have to deal with as well makes me feels a bit better about myself. And to anyone dealing with dissociation, I believe in y'all.
Dissociation is a way our minds try to escape perceived danger and pain. It's a defense mechanism. I do it when I need to, but I know I really need to fix the things truly causing my stress. It seems to live in the body, but I hear some things help even with that.
Ill have moments where its almost like ive "gained sentience" and ill be hyper aware of my surroundings suddenly, sometimes I'll forget what was going on, even with mundane things like walking through my house. It happens a lot when looking in mirrors. I just, won't recognize myself. Like, I know it's me. But it doesn't LOOK right. Like my face shape looks off, my eyes look off, my complexion. I think those are the worst moments. Especially when they trigger a dysphoric episode.
Same, especially with the lack of identity for me and I can't handle mirrors or reflections well for the same reason you said. I know what I'm looking at is supposed to be me but it just doesn't look right it doesn't feel like it's really me or something I don't know how to explain it and then I'm just immediately drowned in this sick sick feeling where I'm literally retching at my own reflection.
@@eduardoreis8443 No, it's dissociation. Just because *you* have such a privileged life doesn't mean everyone does. Don't bother replying. I don't care what you have to say. It doesn't matter
I look at my father one day and I realize, "he's may dad, this is wierd." It confuses me as to why I feel like this sometimes. Thank you for making this video.
This happened to me a lot when I was younger. Today I had a panic attacked and it happened again. But when I was younger I used to wake up every day and felt everything was fake, my life, my mother, my sister, I felt out of place and that I didn’t belong in this world, like I was just put into this weird family that I felt so distant from and didn’t even know. Now I’m better because I decided to leave my abusive mother who caused all this damage to me, now I’m getting better, I hope I am.
I remember that there was a time a while back where I began walking around, looking for something. I didn't know what I was looking for, or where I was going. I was watching myself walk around, looking blind. It was terrifying. I remember feeling like I was on the inside of my body, trying so hard to figure out what was happening. I would look at myself in the mirror and feel nothing, it was almost like I wasn't seeing anything at all. Everything was gray, and I was so confused and numb. I'm so glad that I was able to learn more about these sort of things, and get the help that I needed. It's a scary thing to try to sort out all on your own, especially as a kid (I was 13 when these things were at their worst) and I'm forever grateful for those who helped me understand. ♡ This video is so useful and important. Thank you for sharing so much information.
Disassociation for me is very stressful and just plain annoying sometimes. Some people are able to pull themselves out of it, but for others, like me, it’s not that easy. Most of the time I’m conscious if the fact that I’m disassociating but I just can’t bring myself back. It’s very annoying and distressing, and can be hard to deal with sometimes. Especially if it’s happening for a long period of time, it can get tiring.
I needed this. I dissociate. My therapist says there is an unconscious part of me and I feel so dissociated and scared and confused. I feel like know one feels this way.
Thanks a lot for this video. I experience all of that almost everyday since a year and half and it's terrifying. Particularly when you're in public and you're suddenly hit by derealization. I'm greateful that everytime it happened to me, I was with a friend. I just have to grab their arm tightly and they understand that I'm not really anymore, I can't understand what's around me and I need help to not end up lost in an unknown place. But I've always been scared that it would happen when I'm all alone. I have some tips, like always taking the same exact route so when I go on auto-pilote, I know I will end up at home safely. I always have stim toys in my pockets, but it already happened that I forgot them, and I now have a scar on my wrist. I did with my nails, when I had an anxiety attack and dissociative episode in the bus. A lot of people think that it's something "cool", that "you can see the world in a different way". But it's not. Really. It's a nightmare and can give anxiety. This video explain it really well and shortly. I write too much, I'm tired, I don't even know if my sentences are correct. I will try to sleep now. Thank you a lot, and to all the people who live this, be safe, love you 🙌🏼❤
Going through these comments is really taking a huge weight off my chest, I'm glad I'm not the only one experiencing these things, knowing I'm not alone really does ease a lot of anxiety.
When it starts in early childhood and it's all you know, it is normalized. Then somehow you make it to middle age and finally start to understand whats happening. Thanks mom for the great life. 👍
Well that explains a lot. I have had most of these symptoms for several years. Whenever something really bad or seemingly traumatic would happen, I would go into a state of absolute emptiness where I felt like it was just stuff happening around me that didn't matter.
I get this and the memory loss is a bitch . I wont even realize I forgot those things till people ask or bring it up and im left saying "I dont remember".
Now reading all these comments, they’ve made me realise I may have had it for longer than I remember, just not as strong. My main peak was a few months ago, where I believe I had bad (undiagnosed) depression and oncoming anxiety (bad anxiety came after). I was also insanely stressed out by so many things and I just started to really notice the feeling of how everything just felt so strange and unreal, like everything in my life was a lie. Sometimes it scared me, sometimes it fascinated me and sometimes it just plain annoyed me. It fascinated me because I think possibly when I was a bit younger and before that, during that, and even sometimes now, I had the ability to just walk into a room inside my house and create a slow realisation of how it looked and practically alienate it in such a way where it felt unreal, in such a way that I could make what felt so normal, almost feel new again. I don’t really know if I experience this as much anymore, as if it’s constant or anything. Sometimes I don’t notice it, or it’s really mild, but I’m able to almost “summon” up the feeling by just thinking about it. In some ways it scares the shit out of me, and in others I’m so genuinely thankful because it can be almost like a protection in dangerous or stressful situations. A few days ago actually, I was in horse riding and the horse I was on suddenly took off and I had to control her but I felt the dissociation so strongly there that I had to remind myself it was reality, resulting in the reason why I was so calm during it. Other times it’s helped me when I’ve had a genuine fear of going into school and every day I’d walk in, so fucking nervous, anxious and scared, and I’d just tell myself “this isn’t real, this isn’t real, it’s ok, this isn’t real” and I’d practically numb myself to feel safe. I also remember one night when I was in the bathroom, while everyone else was asleep, I was crying and almost screaming at myself in the mirror because I was so confused and worried and I believe I felt the depersonalisation at its strongest there too. Honestly some scary shit. There’s so many mixed emotions I have on this, that just take too long to explain, but to anyone else out there struggling with this, I just only hope it gets easier for you.
I got diagnosed with disassociative anxiety and this what I feel on the daily I thought I was alone, this makes me feel so much better about it thank you!
Back in December I had appendicitis, and during recovery I was stuck in a children’s hospital cancer floor for an entire week. It broke me. Over time, my situation became more and more stressful, until the point where I had a breakdown, looking back after thinking at the time that this was simply cabin fever, I couldn’t possibly have estimated, to any lower extent, how dangerous of a state I was in. Most majorly notable factor of this was depersonalization, I had felt I lost all control over myself, as if I couldn’t control my actions or expressions, it truly is a terrifying experience, especially given the normality of the circumstance, which I am glad I overcame.
I relate to this! I feel like there are times I can’t control my actions or my expressions. I was talking with someone once about something going on my life that was really dark and depressing and in the middle of it I smirked and didn’t even realize I was doing it. I wasn’t in control of myself. It was like the real me had floated off into another existence or something. I couldn’t even pay attention. Everything goes into one ear and out the other. I forget so many things all the time. Just recently I’ve had to start writing things down. Which is so weird because growing up I always had a pretty damn good memory. I had already started experiencing all of this last spring but it got 10 times worse after losing my dad to COVID last august. Never thought I’d lose him when I was only 27. Over time I’ve slowly gotten worse it seems like.
Thank you for this video, I had an abusive childhood and just left an abusive partner a few months ago. This video reminded me of how intense all these symptoms were when I was dealing with those parts of my life, and how much I have recovered from them both mentally. I still have issues with dissociation, and derealisation but almost never with depersonalisation anymore. I feel so much more like me and I'm happy there are signs to support the fact that I'm healing. My mind doesn't want to run away from what my life is anymore so I must be doing something right 💙
I recently starting going to therapy due to curiosity and was told that I might have a dissociative disorder. Every thing that has been mentioned in the video I have experienced. I do not do self harm nor have I thought of it. But I think if you are experiencing these symptoms you should look into “grounding”. They haven’t had much success with me but it feels somewhat helpful👌🏻
I’m 18 & had it since September 2021. I really want to go to therapy but i’m so stubborn to ask my father for help. I apologized if this is personal to ask but what are the techniques your therapist does to keep you from dissociating or trying to help you with?
@@_anaaaaa as I said above grounding is a good thing to look into. Supposed to keep you more aware of your surroundings. There are different techniques for different senses. For me I do stuff with my hands because I have a good sense of touch. There’s also things such as trying to find your triggers for dissociating. I’m still experimenting but I think mine might be due to caffeine or food
Whenever I present a project or dance at a dance competition/ recital I COMPLETELY blank out. I never remember a thing that goes on but I remember the events after. If I am not disconnected from myself while doing one of those activities I mess up and hesitate. I’m glad when I do blank out because it makes me better at whatever I’m doing, I’m not in my head overthinking things. This might be different than what the video was talking about but I just thought I’d share it
Fighting this was one of hardest battles when I was getting mentally better. I still deal with it sometimes but I’m so happy I’m getting better! I pray everyone who deals with it, gets better too!
A few months ago I was officially diagnosed with part symptoms of ptsd due to sexual assault and abusive parents. I'm in therapy and it helped alot to figure out which situations might trigger a dissociation.
i have struggled since i was little with dissociation. i did not know what it was for the longest time. ever since i was molested as a child, i have experienced borderline personality disorder and dissociation . Sometimes i feel confused as to where I am and get severe dizzy spells. It doesn't hurt to think about what had happened to me. Instead, I moved to alcoholism as a self harm mechanism to feel more at peace with my mind. I hardly remember much of what happened. but there are very specific details i remember to this day, even though i was only five years old when it started. I almost died at my school about a month ago from alcohol poisoning. I was found seizing in the bathroom and was wheeled by ambulance to the nearest ER. to everyone who is struggling with this, you are not alone, okay? sometimes it is scary waking up at night from a staring trance at the wall. Losing hours of sleep... not realizing ive been in another world... staring into nothingness for hours and hours at night time is one way my mind would dissociate. I sometimes think about how I really am in real life, that this is not a game, and that i really am a real person around other real people. Sometimes it is scary, i know. but you can do this. if anyone wants to reach out to me, let me know and i will give you my information in the replies. much love and blessings
I've been dealing with horrible memory loss and a sense of hopelessness for years now. I think I finally found out why. It matches all too perfectly and I now have answers to so many things I've been wondering for basically half of my entire life. Thank you, I know you don't see this, but thank you. I deeply appreciate you helping me, although it is a little scary to think about. :)
Always best to see someone professionally at first so they can help you figure out whats really going wrong in your brain because it may be much more complex than just dissociation
@@rubiplazola I’m so sorry to hear that. 😢 I’m currently doing that and it’s getting a little better each day. I wish you all the best with your journey, you got this🙏🏼💜
Sometimes, I feel this odd "disconnect", in my mind where I'll temporarily feel no pain, emotionally blank (no sadness or anger), & my love for my boyfriend tries to fade, then everything just "swims" back to me and returns to normal. Is this disassociation?
I talked to a couple of therapists about this. I explained it to them as my body being in social settings but my mind was watching in 3rd person. My body was in autopilot and lifeless. Fortunately I’m doing a lot better with my new meds. 😊
I’m glad you’re feeling better! I’m currently on Zoloft and don’t think it helps with anything beyond anxiety. If you don’t mind me asking, what meds do you feel have helped you?
@@shellbell9169 Lexapro was helping for a couple of years(anxiety and depression). Recently changed my meds to Prozac and something else(can’t remember off top my head).
@BucketListMod you know sometimes the school counselor is useless. at least at my school. the counselor acts like a know-it-all .he thinks he is reading our minds but actually thats not even close . He is not a listener ,more like a commander. And i can say he doesn't think about others before he speak (so it often causes shaming) I'd say he's kindda mean lol
ahh yes another “oh that makes sense…” moment. i have all the symptoms and depression and anxiety so it makes a lot of sense. a lot of things have been going on lately and honestly this make sense because i can’t honestly keep going by myself i feel so lost lol
Now my sudden light headed feelings make sense. Sometimes I hate being in almost constant dissociation because it makes even the good times feel fake, but it does come in handy when feeling overwhelmed and tired
That happens to me all the time multiple times a day. It's freaky sometimes I feel like the world is dropping from under me. It's bad when I'm driving.
@@rachelsalata5216 yesss. While driving is the worst. Weirdly enough, my reaction times seem to be better, but it's scary to know that I'm practically not in as much control as I should be. I usually pull over and let it pass before I drive off again
I've had this since I was a child. It happened a good amount growing up, but I fear it's gotten way worse years later. I experience it everyday. This does a good job explaining it, but its way more disturbing than explained. It seems like I blinked, and now I'm 40. Honestly I'm not all that present when anyone is around. Anyone. Including my roommates, and family. Everything stresses me out all the time. Down to the concept of life, and it's expectations. I stress over, and wonder how lo g I can keep it together. To quote the show Rick and Morty, Existance is pain.
Sometimes when something is so hard to deal with, like disappointing people/myself in particular, I'll just forget about it. I'll remember where I was and other irelavent details but whatever made me deeply upset I just won't remember. When I try to think about what happened it feels mentally draining, like it's there but my mind refuses to think about it. It's helpful in that I don't have to deal with it but when the time comes to acknowledge what happened with whoever was involved, I apologize not at all knowing what I'm apologizing for. I think it might be because that's what makes me feel the worst, disappointing people.
I totally relate. It’s incredibly difficult for me to deal with feelings of shame especially if another person is involved. I definitely have deep seeded perfectionism and just forget things when I don’t want to feel them. I remember being a kid watching Ruby on tv with my mom and she was talking about her repressed memories. I remember being almost jealous and wishing I could forget the physical and mental abuse my dad put on me and my sisters. And now as an adult I have trouble remembering the smallest things. I can remember random details or have memories jogged if people give me a lot of details. But it sucks cuz I feel like those I care about might not feel that way when I forget important things. Like I care, but I feel like I don’t have much control over what I remember and don’t. Most of my childhood I don’t remember now besides little pictures almost. And my short term memory isn’t the greatest either. People think it’s weird I don’t delete my messages, but if I do then I won’t know what I said or the other person said and I can easily be manipulated because of that or end up being manipulative if I’ve suddenly switched up my tone after I’ve processed feelings. It’s just a way to keep myself accountable and also keep me away from people who could take advantage of that whether they’re trying to or not
Man I never realized I do this. This is why I love Psych2go cause it educates you. You can also talk to your doctor or therapist about this. Have yet to find one but I'm ok
I have been completely dissociated from reality since I’ve was very young. I was born to extremely abusive parents and raised by the foster system, where I had 3 separate occasions where my neglect was life threatening. I had to repress my emotions to such an extent as a kid that to this day I don’t smile naturally, I have to force it. Same with any strong emotion tbh. I simply can’t process my anger or grief in a healthy way so it’s completely sealed away. It’s like I literally don’t have access to certain feelings sometimes. I’ll just feel completely numb and disconnected from reality but somehow still functioning within it. The worst part is that I repressed my memories too. And I lied a lot as a child. That was a defensive mechanism as well. So now I have a patchwork, hazy timeline of memories that I can never trust are real. I know bad things happened to me. The scars on my back, broken jaw, stab wound on my side, and broken nose all prove it. But I can never know for sure if my memory of the events that caused those injuries are really what happened. I have caught myself in false memories before so I can’t rule it out. Not being able to trust my own memories of the events that traumatized me so badly that both my brothers(who were in the same homes as me) wound up with extreme mental health issues is an awful feeling. My youngest brother is genuinely on the path being a serial killer. He has to be institutionalized for life for the safety of others. I don’t know why I’m sane and they aren’t. And as weird as it sounds, I don’t know if I’m sane or not. Having such a fractured identity makes it so hard to work through my trauma, even with professional help. Sorry for over sharing but I don’t speak on this often, and sometimes it’s better for me to just put it out to the faceless masses than it is for me to go to a close friend. I know none of them have the experience to understand, but maybe some of y’all do.
although probably not even a quarter of the stuff that you said happened to you happened to me, i feel almost the same way. i’m so desensitized i don’t even smile. at all. it’s takes a lot to get me to smile. my parents were abusive- they say they weren’t, but my memories lost from childhood and mental illnesses and trauma say different. i don’t even know if i’ve been abused- probably? but my parents always yelled at me, treated me like trash, threatened me with harsh punishments for the smallest things i did- i remember one being “if you don’t fucking stop, i’ll sell you on ebay”. i don’t have many memories of the abuse, but i experience dissociation because of it.
Yep. Ive experienced this severely to where I lost touch of everything and had to “escape” my mind. I’ve since been better and have worked through a lot but it’s something nobody understands how difficult it can really be to overcome it unless they go through it. Thanks for the video.
I once experienced viewing myself move, walk the hallway of our school and talk to my classmates casually. But it isnt ME me. I am well aware of my surroundings that time but it felt like i am not the one doing stuff. Its just like im watching a movie of myself from my own perspective.
You summed up derealization perfectly.. for years I had this and I did not know what it was called and I think once you understand what things are with mental health issues it does help to know that there's a name for it and that there's other people out there and that there are treatments for it I think understanding what's going on is over half the battle because once you know then you can go from there and work on healing and maintaining your mental health
It's amazing and I can't explain how you guys manage to answer all my questions without even knowing. Recently, I was faced with this dissociation disorder. It's so scary and I was afraid I was crazy. I so wanted an answer... And thank you for always helping others. I have no words to say how important your videos are to me.
I ended up having this go on a few months ago, during a very traumatic time for me with someone im no longer friends with. It was a very toxic situation, and during that time, I felt like I wasn't myself, or i felt like I wasn't even there. I got alot of memory loss from all of it, and I was commonly light headed during all of it too, which could have also been caused by my terrible sleep schedule that everything had put on me. Im glad its over now, and Im glad I found this video, thank you for all of these wonderful videos, they've helped me out alot ^^
I often have memory lapses that I usually just associate with ADHD, but then come the moments where I feel trapped in my own head, yet I'm screaming at myself to respond to someone talking to me and my body refuses to respond; I won't look in their direction, I won't pause what I'm doing, I just...auto-pilot. I've experienced the de-colorization of the world a couple of times, but I experience the dizzy spells more often than them. ...Huh. It all makes sense now.
i think my derealization started when i was in 8th grade. i went through a very traumatic event in 8th grade and i went through a month-long depressive episode afterwards. after that episode i remember going completely numb, i couldnt feel any emotions and i wasnt aware of anything happening in my life at the time. four years later and i feel a bit better. i can experience emotions sometimes but not every time. i find myself not being able to genuinely laugh or experience in-the-moment happiness. i can allow myself to feel sadness or anger and even happiness when i look back on memories, but i never feel these emotions in the moment. it feels like i’ve lost my true self and i’ve become this empty husk of a person. because of this i’ve become super self conscious about my social life and how i interact with others and i feel as if i’m the definition of the word boring. i used to be super friendly and talkative before the event that started this and it was always easy for me to make friends but now i struggle with the few friends i have. sometimes it feels like i’m not even here mentally anymore and i just live through life spaced out. i realize this but i have no access to therapy. any tips?? i want to feel like myself again :)
First, I’d just like to say that I really appreciate you starting off with “I think”. I’ve always thought it was a problem that I didn’t know when my derealization started. Overall, I’m in a somewhat similar situation. Started very young, adopted a “fake it till you make it” mentality, I’m known as the friend who forgets constantly, and now I’m a junior in college. All in a flash. I’m an artist and whenever I draw I practically “nope out” of reality. I don’t really remember most of the drawing session when I’m done. I’ve constantly been aware of this problem of feeling numb, but I have no idea how to fix it. Similarly, my social life has been effected immensely. I stutter and scramble my words as my brain tries to think of the right words; but, it’s as if my brain has shutdown (in what I consider a stressful situation) and can’t remember what words are. I would love some advice too!!! Regardless, I am genuinely happy this video has stumbled on my feed. I got to read not only your experience with dissociation but many others! And these stories have told me that I’m truly not alone. Regardless of what or when the outcome may be, I hope for a colorful future for us both :)
@@miidnxght7583 This is so sweet!! I'm severely thankful for you taking this time to let me know that I'm not alone, and I'm happy that this video has helped you realize this as well :) Best of luck to you and I hope your journey brings much fortune and happiness your way!
As a victim of dissociation, diagnosed, this video is very accurate to the pain of dissociation. I believe it may be helpful to people with symptoms figure out there situations. Thank you very much for sharing awareness.
really got me shook on the depersonalization part. I've literally had the thought that I'm just watching someone else live my life, and therefore - since it isn't really me - I don't have to care what happens to me.
that has been me for the last year. boot camp and this schooling im going through has really messed up my brain chemistry to the point where i know i’m not the same person but i feel like i’m just seeing someone control me. i usually am a compassionate and emotional person but now i’m more so tempered and shutoff from showing emotions
*“You’ll watch an entire Netflix series even when the first episodes are slow just because someone told you that ‘it gets better’, but what if you looked at your goals like that and watched your life get better instead?”* Love from a small channel💙
I still remembered when I was struggling with PTSD & Anxiety. Didn’t even noticed that I was there but not really there half of the time. Just knew that I was losing my memory, felt like my body was more in control of what it wanted to do rather than me actually being able to do it (so essentially it felt like someone was controlling my body) Most of the time, I was getting flashbacks and nightmares of the accident tho. I was aware of what was going on but the only thing I genuinely remembered at that time was eating, showering, doing a few chores, grocery & sleeping. Everything felt like a blur and I was panicking half of the time because my memory and concentration was fading in and out. It was only around the end of January that I actually was able to remember everything that had occurred. It felt like my mind was trying to block out what happened (suffered an accident that resulted in minor head injury)
It’s actually scary, I stop and look around and think “wow, this is earth. This is where i’ve made memories.” and it baffles me, I can’t comprehend im on a planet with other people. I also forget my childhood, things that happened and things that had happened yesterday, it’s terrifying. Yesterday night I was crying/having a mental breakdown and suddenly I just stopped, I had a straight face on and started thinking about philosophical things and how i’m actually real. I’m not sure why I do that, it happens quite often where i’ll just respond in a monotone voice or don’t show any emotion during things. I’ll even put myself through pain so I can realize I have a body and i’m alive. I have to touch things to confirm it’s real and there. Stepping out of my room is like stepping into another world, I forget that it’s there.
This has been happening to me a ton lately. A lot more since I’ve started college this fall. It was also the time where I’ve been the most depressed along with the feeling of numbness. It has gone to the point where I have intrusive thoughts of self harm. I don’t act on them because I don’t want to burden my family with it either.
All of those things hit me hard when I was 14-15 starting high school. I’m now 22 and I’ve only learned to deal with it and channel it into positive things it hasn’t gone away
Disassociation, depersonalization, derealization.... I promise you all who are going through it it goes away ❤️ I never thought that it would have but only a few months after and it's already almost gone
Yikes… used to suffer all of these symptoms intensely. I also felt entirely apathetic. At that level of disassociation I actually felt like the epitome of dead inside. Just felt like I was watching reality happen. Then I got therapy and was also given Prozac. Largely better now. No longer feel suicidal, entirely disassociated, violently murderous, and constantly hallucinating (lightly) both visually and auditory. The new issue I face since I stopped taking Prozac is controlling my emotions again… Because I actually feel them 😂. You don’t have to manage emotions which you don’t feel. The smallest slight feels like it can whip me into a frenzy for a few hours… At least I’m pretty good at stopping myself from hurting other people or breaking stuff while angry, it’s just extremely hard to stop being angry. It’s so… demotivating and annoying because I know it’s stupid. Along with that for almost a month I was nearly paralysed with fear. Had daily nightmares, night terrors, insomnia, basically couldn’t sleep and became scared of the dark 😂 At least I also find I feel love and happiness again… but man I’m lightly depressed regardless so I don’t feel them much 😭 But watching this was comforting. and it made me proud of myself that I got through such a trying cycle of depression. Although I still think I need therapy just so I can get myself functioning properly without medication.
@@ramsesclviii2584 Now I’m a recovered addict, am learning to simply live a good life, and I’m thinking about making RUclips channel, for science, maths, art, philosophy and ethics. I got to recovery through journaling, meditation, and gratitude journaling. Also just making my body healthier. But I’ve devised a logical mathematical set of rules that I can never stray from. Because it is the ultimate purpose for me. I’ve made a few ideas already. If you wanna look for it I’m just gonna call it my name, Freddy Briers. I’ve recorded a short video already, but I’ve not made the channel. I’ve journaled a LOT of content ideas too. If you can’t find it, just means I haven’t gotten round to it yet 😂
1.0:50 Memory loss
2. 1:29 Derealization
3. 1:59 Feeling lightheaded
4. 2:30 Not feeling pain
5. 3:08 A loss of self-identity
Thanks
Cool
Thanks!
patreon fella fello over here make way🪄
How five hours ago
This is one of those things where you go *"Oh, that's what that feeling is."*
Yep..
I don't think everyone feels it tho
Life is a cycle of never ending pain and misery and despair.
...i realised this is exactly what im going through ;-;
i push away my feelings to not be vulnerable
Dissociation is awful. You just feel so disconnected from everything. To me, it feels like I'm a spectator in my own life, and a lot of times, I'll sort of temporarily "wake up" from that trance and realise, "dang, I'm really here, aren't I?" before slowly transitioning back into Spectator Mode. It just feels like there's a part of me missing that I can't explain or figure out. I think I'd prefer overwhelming emotions, positive _or_ negative, over this...numbness.
That's why I feel empty
I feel this most days I go in to my own world but basically even if I wanted to open up to people I feel pretty alone
I think i have it anyways.....
I relate to you so much. A part of me is missing and I would prefer negativity over numbness.
Yep.. have you found a strategy that helps you feel present?
sometimes I feel like I’m a child again. I just stare at myself in the mirror, breathe in and realise that “wow. this is real life. I’m really here. I can interact with the things here. wow.” And it absolutely blows my mind every time.
Same.
._.
But, why?
I'm crying all days I'm in so much sorrow this is a painful experience
Sameeee I thought it was only me :(
same
This just happened to me a few minutes ago 😞
The strangest feeling I get from disassociation is when I suddenly feel like my surroundings are unfamiliar, as if I’ve been dropped into the middle of an unfamiliar place, even though it’s in my own house or something.
Same , I feel like why am I here 😕, I didn't ask to be here
Occasional I've had that happen, for a second or two..
thats how my dissociation often occure, its so strainge its like you are in a diffrent room or space, bur noting has change.
this is so real
Right
i swear this channel knows exactly when to post a video when people need them
Honestly, holy crap
Exactly legit I had something happen last night and I think they knew
Ikr
IKR LIKE I WAS DOING RESEARCH ON THIS LAST NIGHT BC I THINK IVE BEEN DOING THIS SINCE I WAS 9
Because we are ONE.
My symptoms:
-Not feeling like my surroundings are physically there
-Feeling like other people arent there
-Keep forgetting who i am and what ive done in my life
-Constantly getting lost in thought and forgetting alot of things
-Feeling like my words and movements arent coming from me
-Feeling dizzy/lightheaded easily
-Not caring about/feeling physical pain
Ive dealed with these symptoms for over a year now and i hope that my therapist will properly diagnose me.
So i have had those symptoms for almost two years now and have coped with it as i bettered my anxiety when i began working and allthough i still feel lightheaded/ dizzy, not caring about physical pain, constantly getting lost and forgetting where i am but have learned to cope with these issued by simply ignoring it isn’t helping but it isnt getting worst and i do feel more confident and less anxiety induced when in public
This is... Scarily accurate to what's been going on with me. For a while I looked up DID and BPD (Dissociative Identity Disorder and Borderline Personality Disorder) and it hit pretty close to home as well. At the moment, I'm still confused about it all. I try not to think too much on it anymore because a lot of the time I feel like I'm faking it somehow or being confused, and I get depressed.
But this, this is pretty damn close. I don't feel pain, I don't feel here, I'm away somewhere and I can never remember anything, unless it was a WHILE back or a few days. I can barely remember shit I did 6 minutes ago by now. It's annoying lol
Same- literally
I have most of these symptoms too. For me it's been around 7 months. It feels nice that there's people to relate to though
i’ve had all of those for over two years already (wow it’s been so long lol) and i’ve given up trying to feel real and in the moment again. i miss that lively feel of laughing my heart out with a group of friends and never wanting to leave. now i stop in the middle of laughter to try and remember why i was laughing and why i suddenly don’t want to laugh anymore. it’s so strange and i don’t think i’m ever going to get out. scary
in the early couple months of feeling this, it felt like i was stuck in 8th grade when it started. now that it’s been so long and i’ve forgotten all the fun memories from then, idk who i am anymore or who i was it’s all just so confusing.
and there people asking me what i want to major in in college? like bitch idk who tf’s body i’m standing in rn
My way of describing it is it feels like playing a video game in 3rd person. Your character is you. You controll them. You press the buttons. You know your skills and stats. You can see your hp and mp. You know when your hurt and take damage; or when you're tired and have a debuff. But you stop feeling it. Sometimes you wonder if maybe even there's someone else in there that does.
That's always what I've thought of it as!
@@pokipineapple5377 glad to know someone out there understands
That’s exactly how it feels
I recently used a video game analogy to describe the problem I’ve been having to my therapist. It’s like I get in my head and suddenly these experiences aren’t mine, they’re someone else’s. I’m just watching. I told her it makes me feel like a fraud. Like I’m not really enjoying life with these ppl.
@@AUTHENTICXO i feel you there. I think i used RPGs throughout my life as a way of not feeling so bad about the fraud side. It's like... Taking a choose your own adventure structure and applying it to yourself i guess? At least, that helps me feel a little more invested in my choices and surroundings.
I think I’ve had derealization for years and let me say, it is the hardest thing to describe to people. The weirdest feeling ever it’s so hard to deal with but to put a name to it and seeing others have it helps me feel less crazy
I hope you're okay Evan. You're not alone friend
Now im doing my level best to overcome from disociation
That's im interested in doing the realitistic things what the normal peoples will do but those things or works are completely devoid of logic.
And then that caused me a mouth breathing little bit. And then this disorder is associated with the anger and burnout signs
Will u pls clarify which episode is this in disociation
Hope things get better for ya man 🙏 blessings ^_^
I never realized I was dissociating my whole childhood untill I looked back and realized I couldn't feel anything during some of the bad memories and I completely blocked out others. What hurts the most for me is the depersonalization - it was fueled by the fact my main guardian always told me "You never experienced anything painful. You were only a witness" and it created such a strong disconnect between what I felt and what I thought and who I was. A truly awful way to cope with an even worse environment
I feel you
yup being a witness sucks and to being led to believe that it'd help. being helpless brought me a lot of regret with choices i couldnt make and things i wish i couldnt just disassociate but face them and learn to do so.
oh wow, i completely freaking empathize
Same..
how is this even happening to me I haven't even gone through much
Dissociation can be one of the worst things. But, from my experience, I believe it worked as a coping mechanism when things at home were too tough to deal with. Now that I'm older, I found the space to really heal and reconnect with my emotions and deal with the hurt that can come along with it. I suppose what I really want to say is that we have to find a space in our life where we can finally believe and feel that it's "safe to feel" and be vulnerable.
Sounds like you found your safe space!
@@psych2goeducation804 yeah 😊
Evolution is suicide because eventually you realize that life is stupid and pointless.
@@idreamindarknessandsleepto1475 I hear your pain. Sending love your way ❤️
❤️
You will feel like you're in a movie, there is a filter between you and the world. It's like being high/drunk - without the fun part. Everything's on auto-pilot. All of the the decisions are pre-determined. When you wash your hands it feels like you are touching your hands for the first time.
Ironically, you will probably enjoy it the first few times it hits because it's an escape or maybe it's just me but it stays with you day after day and then when you actually want to experience the world, you can't. There is nothing you can do that's gonna connect you to the world.
You're gonna wake up in the morning thinking it's gone, but after a couple of minutes you realize it's still there and you go about your day.
You will probably talk about it with your friends and they do not know what to say.
You are here but not present.
"It's like being high/drunk - without the fun part" is the truest shit and is what I'm struggling with right now. Thank you for this.
Excuse me but what is the fun part of being high for me it definitely wasn't when I took a bunch of coke and dissappeared for 3 days and only surviving by the skin of my teeth or what about my friend who nearly died because he was high on meth and thought he was invincible so he ran out onto the duel carriageway got run over by a car doing 70 only survived because he was lucky being high isn't always fun so don't say it is
@@theemofemboycatgirlw3214 Dude, by fun, most likely he means alcohol and weed; getting crossfaded in other words.. In your case though, you happened to run into coke and meth, which if you ask anybody, those are 100% not fun together, especially the meth. I don't think I ever heard or seen someone try to defend meth to be used in "medicinal" or "responsible" amounts, like cannabis and alcohol, feel me?
Pre determined actions hehe useful in that one Rick and morty episode
Maybe that's why I drink.... Feeling drunk all the time anyway, may as well have fun with it.
Psilocybin containing mushrooms saved my life. The drastically reduced my benzodiazepine withdrawal allowing me to quite illicit pill addiction after three years of heavy daily use before it would had became medically dangerous to quit. It has also helped me survive depression.
@Micheal Harris I was having this constant, unbearable anxiety because of university stress. Not until I came across dr.sporess, a very intelligent mycologist. He saved my life honestly
Tripping is not really bad but find a good mycologist Who will teach you the right things you need to know
@@elizabethwilliams6651 Does dr.sporess ship?
@Micheal Harris @dr.sporess
He’s on Insta
Dissociation memory loss actually isn't always super obvious. It's not always a sudden "jump" (although sometimes it is). But there can also be a "transition period" when you aren't really even aware enough to realize you can't remember. As an example, I might be playing guitar, then realize that I'm playing guitar, then realize I don't know how long I've been playing guitar, then realize the last thing I remember is being in the kitchen making lunch and that can't remember the last three hours. So there's still a gap in memory, but the realization might come gradually rather than in a jarring transition. And sometimes the realization doesn't come at all. Like, I'll be going about my day, turn around to make my bed, or put the groceries away, or do laundry, and it's already done. So there's a gap, but I would never have realized without something moving in the environment or something. And sometimes you notice a jarring transition, but you're so dissociated that you don't even register that its jarring or scary. You have like no thoughts or emotions about it. You're just zoned out
True, I didn't even know I lost time until other people told me.
Plus, I blocked out abuse for years until it started coming back to me.
The gap's something I experience too! Like oh I'm doing this... Okay huh for how long? Is he doing this okay let me finish that.
For some reason this happens to me with like people ? Like I’ll remember someone by my side but the they’re somehow in front of me now ? Ah it’s so annoying
Often times I drive to an appointment, to a friend or somewhere else just to realise that I cant remember how I got there.
However, if I try hard enough and think of the general way I must have taken, I can recollect part of the memory.
Sometimes I'm at the door, putting on my shoes to go out and just realize what I'm doing, then I realize that I can't remember what I did that morning
I guess I've had a lot of dissociation, I've been avoiding discord and twitter dms and anything related to socializing cuz it only causes me depression because of my loneliness, but also I'm aware that I don't spend too much time working on content or drawing or learning new things and I really wish I was more dedicated but I just don't have the motivation to do so
You can do it, I promise. Even if you pick up a pencil and doodle an eyeball on the corner of a receipt, you’re still drawing! You’re still allowing yourself to express yourself. It doesn’t have to be a big thing where you sit down with 135 coloured pencils and an Inking pen and spend 72 hours drawing. It can just be a sketch you doodle absentmindedly while on your phone. Allow yourself little moments. You’re not failing if you have these little moments, you’re actually winning! Be kind to yourself, you got this, ☺️❤️
Hope you feel better soon bro. sending love
Somewhag relatable, except i post full colored, large complex drawings very often, and i barely get 10 likes. So when i see a comment, i don't read it until days later, for some reason.
@@ThePress00 if you link your art, I will like it :) 👍
I'm 3 months late btw
Listen to an artist called adam duff on RUclips he's my favorite every time I struggle with motivation, and remember one thing you don't look around for motivation you make it yourself :)
Don't force yourself to do things tho.
This made me realize so much about myself and the fact I've been complaining about feeling like I'm in a dream since I was 9. The change was abrupt too. I could remember how I felt before feeling this way, and never being able to experience reality in the same way ever since. Sometimes when I look at my reflection or focus on my thoughts too much, I start to become too aware of my existence. Almost like "waking up", or being too conscious, and then it feels like I'm not inside of my body at all. It's a weird-ass feeling!
Yes I remember when I was younger it felt like I was in a grey “bubble” like nothing was real around me in that bubble but outside it life was normal. I would look in the mirror and actually see myself and think “I’m actually real?” Lmfao
Yeahh that's a good way of describing it.
i feel in the same way, when i was travelling with my family, i fell asleep (or that was what thought) and wake up in the table of a restaurant, i just forgot how i got there, and my parents say that i walked up to the table, at the time i thought i was a sleepwalker, and after that, i feel anxious and dizzy or if i was in a dream and a weird one.
please, forgive me if my english is bad, i dont speak english at all :'v
I kinda just like do stuff and then sometimes think about myself and I’m like “woah! I’m here! I’m living! I can think and do stuff!”
Thank you. I was always terrified by this because it happened whenever I was in tense situations, such as sports games or other things. I always felt like I was vulnerable and sad because nobody else knew what was going on.
I’m 24 . Sometimes I still feel like the kid I was when I was freshly 18 . I see everyone at my work or in public that I think and view them as there older then me to only come to find out there around my age. People often are surprised by my age as well because I have a full beard . When I look at my self I feel this sense that my life is going by so fast and I can’t wrap my mind around it . I recently got out of a 4 year relationship and I feel like I lost most of my memories and mind when I try to tract them down . I just simply forgot everything when people talk about a memory and say “ damn that was two years ago remember “ I just don’t remember .
Right? I’m about to turn 23, and what you said about losing your memories hits home. It’s like my brains deleting my memories as I go, old friends bring up important moments in our relationships and I’ve slowly over the years not been able to remember any of them. I feel like I know them the same, but I can’t directly remember anything.
It’s like a mist over my life, I can remember my feelings but not events or situations and I feel like I have barely lived even though time is flying simply because I cannot remember my life.
I don’t know why nobody I know has this, I often blame it on smoking way too much weed. However I’ve stopped smoking over 6 months ago and nothing has changed.
@@oliverwhisker-leon2834 Continue with the weed bro, i never smoked nothing, and i got this forgetness symthoms aswell
Only sometimes? I'm 32 and have felt 15 this entire time lmao. No joke. The movie I relate to most, by far, is Big. Does anyone *actually* ever feel like an adult? Does anyone *actually* not want to climb trees and ride bikes anymore? I'm sure at a certain point this mentality is bad, but the thought of "growing up" is so pointless to me
hey yall, hope you guys are doing well, and sorry that you guys are going through all this, but do hope things get better for you guys, and things always get better even if it takes some time, and there's always light at the end of the tunnel, keep on treading along for sooner or later you'll over come this. Much love to you all and God bells
Matthew 11:28-30 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
Woah story sounds very very similar to mine
Me: *Shows all the symptoms.*
Me: *It's probably just a phase.*
@penguins Don’t put random links
i like ur beard
Speaking from experience, it is just a phase.
It's also a symptom and it can also be a very unpleasant phase.
Or it's all in your head do parents not get it maybe they will when I'm gone
How long have the phase lasted?
Is this why nothing feels real anymore. I'm just drifting through life at this point. I feel so out of it all the time. I forget things all the time throughout the day to the point where I will get home from somewhere and be like "wait where was I?".
Yes, sounds a lot like dissocation. When did you first experience this?
No the reason why nothing feels real is because life is a meaningless joke.
ive been like this for years. oh my its crazy how long its taken for me to realize
I know exactly what you mean, a lot of times I'll have to ask the fiance what I was doing and if I was talking or saying anything because I'll be holding a conversation or I'll be in the middle of a task and then suddenly my mind's just gone and then when I come back I don't remember anything prior to it because I wasn't really actually there if that makes sense.
like literally this morning i said something to my friend and 30 seconds later i thought she said what i had and legit didn’t remember what i said at all like it was scary asf not to remember what i said seconds before
I have this every once in a while, sometimes for a few hours and sometimes for a few days. I remember dissociating, kind of like having an out-of-body experience, as a child when I was living with my abusive parent, and so I know that's why it's happening. It's a weird feeling but it doesn't worry me like it used to! Everybody hang in there ♥️
Same, i swear i have the same feeling
So Dissociation is more like an on and off thing? Not 24/7 like depression/anxiety
I haven't thought about this since I was a kid, but I remember this happening to me a few times. It would start out of the blue and I could feel it coming on. I don't remember being scared of the feeling, necessarily. I felt numb, also that the sounds and sights around me seemed distant. This feeling would last for hours. I only remember it happening during the day while at school and I have memories of it seemingly happening when it was loud with commotion around me, like during lunch or recess. I haven't thought about this in years, probably the last time it happened was middle school. I never felt the need to tell anyone about it, at least in detail - maybe I said I felt "weird". I had an abusive stepmom, after my mom dying when I was very young, I felt that has affected me emotionally and may have been why I experienced this and it's good to know I wasn't the only one who experienced this
Tips for Dpdr
1. Maintaining a good diet and sleep schedule makes the biggest difference for this
2. rubbing your fingers together and thinking about the feeling.
3. if you are sad, then you should cry. if you have dpdr it’s normally easy to turn off your emotions in almost any bad situation but if you try to experience them it will help you feel more real.
4. when dissociating, think to yourself, “I’m going to do this now.” what ever you thought about doing, then do it. it can be as simple as moving your hand to a different position, but you made that decision. you thought it out.
hi, thanks for these tips
These are actually pretty good tips so thank you very much
thank you
#4 feels good
Especially for number 3 teaching myself to cry really helped ground me a lot and each time things would feel and get better almost instantly and naturally. That being said it's been a while since I've made myself do it again but I recognize how helpful and regulating it can be
This explains why I consistently forget the details of virtually every argument I've ever had almost immediately after it concludes, especially with my mom. Thanks for uploading this.
Not necessarily I wouldn't ever use this videos as a means to determine a problem you have but if you do relate to videos like these it may be best to seek out someone who has the skills and knowledge to help you
I feel this man. Every time we’d have to go back to an argument or argue over specific details my mind just goes completely blank. Really sucks
Omg me too! I’ve had to take multiple takes to try to remember what exactly I was arguing about with my mom, even some points I was going to make, so I would have to write things down so I know for sure I could remember it later on
I think your adrenaline builds up and you just black out during the argument, doubt that you have “disassociation” issues frm that example specifically..
@@veroxx8260 A couple weeks we had a argument (me and mom) and was exactly like you, we argued a bit face to face but forgot so many things i wanted to say, a couple hours after went on pc and had to write everything i had to say and send her a message. It sucks :(
As someone with depersonalization/derealization disorder, I appreciate this so much. When I was trying to figure out what was "wrong" with me, I could have really used something that explains it as well as this video. For all of my fellow dissociated folks, stay strong, it won't last forever (or so I'm told lol).
Edit: Oh wow, didn't expect to get so many responses. Sorry for my late replies.
hey fellow dpdr mate !! :3
i'm just glad that i'm always able to "come back to reality" in less than a minute by deviating my thoughts :) but dissociation comes in different forms and shapes afterall so not everyone's able to do that **sigh** though I also believe that it won't last forever !! sometimes it may just automatically go away as you go on with your life but if not, you'll atleast learn to control it better and better through therapy !
I just view it as a part of my life rather than a threat so ig it comes down to how you perceive things :]
@nekobarp 🏳️🌈 Hi there! First and foremost, not everyone can get an official diagnosis, so no hate towards self-diagnosing here. I started talking to my parents about it when I was 14 or 15, and later got a psychologist then a psychiatrist and here we are. My understanding is that derealisation is like a fever when you are sick. It's not the fever you have a problem with, its just your body showing you that something else is going on. Derealisation is often connected to depressive disorders or obsessive-compulsive ones (like I have) and therefore it is treated with those medications. SSRIs are a big help for some people, for me eeeh, they don't hurt I guess. It become a disorder when the derealisation and depersonalisation are constant or keep repeating. Stress is definitely one of major triggers for it, but not the only one.
Hope that helped a bit :)
I've been experiencing dissociation for 2 years and a half... I'm at the point that I'm getting used to it but it still bothers me from time to time. I miss feeling normal again
@Irreverent Patches Wow, over 10 years! Thankfully you've mastered it and it no longer controls you! Stuff like this gives me hope! Thanks!
Your kind always do, unfortunately
Lived with that misery called Dissociation little over 4 years…. It’s truly a terrible experience…. But eventually I broke away, when I started to follow some new true purpose. Persuing and focusing on brighter future (rather than thinking about the past or present) truly set me free from that hell.
I came out filled with energy and stronger than ever….
For all those who “live” with dissociation: Please, endure. Good time will come, solve your problems one by one and have patience.
Remember, there will always be someone who loves you in this world… even if you don’t see it.
I've had this feeling for years after going through months of terrible pain. It doesn't hit you right away, it came after about a year for me. It's your brain's way of handling trauma that's too much to cope with. To me it feels like your old life is over, and you're living a kind of hazy afterlife now. Watching yourself exist despite not feeling alive, it's a feeling I've sadly become extremely familiar with. Hopefully one day there will be a treatment or maybe even a cure. I remain hopeful
No don't remain hopeful because fallowing you're dreams will be a fruitless endever.
Being hopeful is the most hopeless thing.
I realy adore that you are still hopeful. Well yes, there aren't any explicit medications for dissociation, but there definitely are ways to cope, ease the symptoms and in time, get rid of it entirely. Perhaps seek profesional, cognitive behavioral or dialectal behavioral therapies. Both might not work, but that isnt a reason to blane yourself for it. They are also fully confidential and discrete, and definitely worth the shot. There are also plenty of articles on the internet that can provide you with coping techniques and certain life hacks to self-help. I know that it might be difficult to do because shool/work and other responsibilities might get in your way, geting enough sleep, avoiding stress triggers or things like going for walks and simply trying to get yourself comfortable by some selfcare might help alleviate the condition. Maybe some tricks like snifing levander when you feel like dissociating and other things that help you ground yourself might help. I know it will take time, but try reaching out for help and find ways you can help yourself. I wish you to do well.
@@idreamindarknessandsleepto1475 man, you are broken
@@idreamindarknessandsleepto1475 You get nowhere with that attitude. You set your own limits you can change them.
when it comes to having dpdr (depersonalization/derealisation disorder) one of the biggest things i noticed myself is issues with my vision. things often look blurry, too dark, too bright, flat or 2d, have a vignette, or are covered with a layer of static. when it’s at its worst things looks way too far away or flicker like a movie reel. if you feel like there’s something wrong with your vision but eye doctors can’t find anything and you struggle with anxiety and/or depression, this is definitely something to look into !
This happens to me too I always feel like it’s so hard to explain!! For me things are so dull and bland looking or like I’m staring through a screen, like there’s some weird invisible barrier in front of everything I’m looking at
I have perception distortion problems, as in, by chance looking at my own hands and thinking they're smaller or larger. I know my hands don't change size. It's just weird to look at. Door handles at waist high will appear out of reach. Also literal tunnel vision. My peripheral vision disappears.
@@traceygahan5344 oh yeah that’s a good way to explain it ! i have that too sometimes, rooms often feel fake and like a dollhouse because they feel too big or too small
@@jordanlovesmoviesss it rly is hard to put into words sometimes :O it would be easier to turn the saturation and clarity down in someone’s brain, cuz that’s honestly how it feel sometimes
I've seen static in the air my whole life and it's kind of hard for me to explain it to people
Truly the worst feeling you can ever imagine. Unless you are going through it or have gone through it, you can NEVER understand. I have been suffering from this off and on for the last two years and the last 6 months it has progressively gotten so much worse. The last month it has been the most brutal time of my life.. waking up every morning dizzy and lightheaded to the point of not wanting to even shower and feeling like nothing around me was real. I noticed when I drank it nearly completely went away, so I started self medicating. It started with drinking wine at 8pm until I was able to go to sleep.. then 5pm.. then mid day.. then when I woke up.. and it became so bad that I would wake up 5-10 times in the middle of the night from the anxiety and pour wine just to get back to sleep..
I finally broke. I had enough. I couldn't work anymore.. I had to be tipsy/drunk just to work from home where I didn't even interact with anyone because the dissociation was _that_ bad. I couldn't function otherwise. I honestly thought I had a brain tumor because I have never heard anyone else talk about this before and I thought I was dying until I looked it up and found out about dissociation. Wow. I have never felt less alone but scared.. stories of people being cured after 5 years.. 5 years?? I cannot go another FIVE DAYS like this. I then decided to contact a doctor and she prescribed me Lexapro for my severe social anxiety/depression/panic attacks and while I know a pill doesn't solve everything, I am two and a half weeks into it but it's also been the most emotionally excruciating time of my life (if you take this, please beware your dissociation may be magnified tenfold as your brain adjusts) and today was the first time in over two years that I woke up aware. I felt like me. I waited for it to pass as it always does until I tailspin into dissociation about 30-60 minutes later, but it never passed. FOR THE FIRST TIME IN FOREVER I WENT AN ENTIRE DAY WITHOUT DISSOCIATING. I know tomorrow will be different but I am so thankful for today.
Please do not be afraid to seek help. I don't even have a primary care doctor and was prescribed through urgent care - that's how done I was. You CAN get help and you CAN get better. This truly is the worst feeling anyone can ever imagine and I would not wish it on a soul. My dissociation would last from the moment I wake up until I somehow go to sleep. I now have hope. I don't know what tomorrow will bring, but at least there is hope.
I'm editing this comment because it came up on my feed again and I forgot I had ever even watched this video, let alone commented on it. I wanted to give an update. LEXAPRO SAVED MY LIFE. I was off of it for a couple of months while in between doctors and I was back at square one. My medication completely healed every single symptom mentioned in the video that I had been suffering for years. There IS hope. Please talk to your doctor. You can be okay again, or for once ❤
I just wanted to say I’m so, so proud of you, and I’m so glad you’ve gained some hope. You’re going to get through this, and I wish you all the best. Keep going
Ever since I was a child I grew up with this rubbish
I'm so happy that you finally had a day free of dissociation!!! I know it's such a relief! Hold onto the hope you have and enjoy every moment.
I’ve dealt with this for most of my childhood probably 15 years. After I realized what it was I don’t experience it as much anymore and I also go to therapy. I’m not sure what is the cause of yours but I feel like this is some thing I’ll probably have to deal with forever to some degree. Now I notice when I’m dissociating and have found different tools to cope.
I'm so extremely happy for you, keep up the good self care, you've got this 🥰❤❤
I didn't even know that dissociation existed but after after watching this video and realizing that I've been dealing with all those symptoms/signs for years I know that I've probably been dealing with dissociation for a long time.
I especially feel like I'm just a spectator. Had this feeling for years and always thought it was normal...
I feel there reasons why that need to be Rectified it’s not normal I have the same feelings there’s things we should be doing but we choose to Disassociate
in what ways did it affect your life?
Are you the legendary Mike Schneider fingerboarder?
Yes, the feeling for me was not being a real person. I had it for a long time
Check out dissociative identity disorder
To everyone experiencing dissociation right now, I want to give you hope that you CAN get better. I dealt with a lot of trauma ages 15-18, and I ended up dissociating as a coping mechanism. I felt like I was in autopilot and couldn’t feel anything even if I tried. Then, I went to college and escaped my traumatic experience. However, this only triggered my worst episode of dissociation. I had no idea who I was or how to act in this new world where I was safe, and I felt more alone and depressed than ever before. I tried for so long to escape the dissociation, but felt like the effort was futile, and I feared I would always be like that. However, with therapy and a lot of self-work, I was finally able to get better. It took about a year of work, but I now feel present in life, and it is the best feeling ever. I of course have my bad days where I suddenly feel disconnected again, but I have the coping skills to deal with these days. Please please please get help if you are experiencing this. It’s not hopeless despite how trapping it feels. My tips are to attend therapy, meditate, self reflect, spend time looking at yourself in a mirror and repeating “I am real, I am alive.” And most if all, don’t panic when the dissociation surges. Fear is what feeds dissociation (at least it was for me). So when you get that feeling of disconnection, acknowledge it and and just let it pass. It could take the whole day, but I have found that not panicking is the best way to fight it. Lastly, remember to love yourself. You are not less of a person or a sociopath for being this way, you are just as worthy of love as anyone else. Thank you if you read this long comment; I hope it helps someone ❤️
Thank you so much for this! I’ve been experiencing the worst episodes of dissociation and having anxiety attacks from it too it honestly makes it worst when the anxiety hits, I feel better and calm reading your comment
Fr made me cry with this shit thank u
this helped so much. thank you
Challenge accepted! I am going to get rid of this within a year.
Idk what I have at this point I feel like I'm on auto pilot waking up doing the same thing every day hardly any emotions my self consciousness has dropped so much blurred vision legit thought I had a brain tumor and had a ct scan and a lot of other shit I've been depressed on and off but 2021 it was legit the worse its ever been start of 2022 is when I became a actual robot I can't remember simple things if anyone knows wtf is wrong with me or if it's brain fog or something to do with depression that would help so much I also spend most my days looking at a screen and have a lot of anxiety if anyone actually reads this I appreciate you so much.
My wife suffers from the 'dream' part almost every day thanks to 19 years of abuse by her parents. We take it one day at a time together. Never give up, people.
I usually have to ride it out to calm myself down. Or try to distract myself. Although sometimes I cant really do much abt it.
I hope your wife recovers one day! Has her dissociation ever made her confused and not want to be with you? I’m curious about a lot of things and you’re a super trooper for being with her
Why not ?
Thank you for loving her
@@psychodelic1457 edge lord
i’ve been dissociated for almost 3 years now. i woke up with it one day and it still hasn’t gone away. everything feels like a dream and my emotions are so dull. i wish everyone experiencing this the best and you’re not alone 💝
16 years for me. I remember reading something about a decade ago explaining that if you have it for more than 2 years, chances are you wont get rid of it bc its so deeply rooted in who you are. I got it around 10-11 and im 27 now, the most ive had are those few seconds of clarity before im back to spectator mode, which i get a lot but its more of a tease really.
@@blhu_oce what have you tried doing to fix it? i tried getting on anti depressants but that made things worse, i tried changing my diet since that could apparently help according to some people. i’m trying to book a chiropractor to see if that would help since a lot of people have found that working. best of luck to you my friend. life is lame in spectator mode
One day you'll become trans
@@blhu_oce damn teally
@@blhu_oce is there anything that can help it
Well, I’m relieved to know that I’m not a victim of dissociation, at least according to this list of symptoms. Thank you for being informative, and for those who are dealing with this, stay strong and reach out!
must be nice
@@kyliejo2881 We're all fighting our own battles. While I don't dissociate, I have inattentive ADD. Mental illness is not a competition, and we should all be supportive of each other.
@@kyliejo2881 tf
@@starry4471 i was jk
This channel scratches the surface of psychology. It's not in depth. My dissociation is different due to my complicated issues, but I still have it. Best of luck to you in finding what you're dealing with.
It’s like watching everything through a window. I can see the family doing things, having fun, eating, talking, but I’m not really part of it. It’s a strange and awful feeling to be doing something, but also feel like you’re just watching yourself go through the motions. I lived in this state almost continually for a month last year because every time I wasn’t dissociating I was having a panic attack or extreme anxiety. Being present in my body was too terrifying and my brain did it what it could to help me. I ended up sleeping as much as I could just to escape.
oh my gosh, that's what I've been going through for months now. that feeling of constantly dissociating, my brain blocking absolutely everything, not feeling anything, not being actually there, and on the moments I'm not dissociating, I'm having extreme panic attacks/depressive episodes or extreme anxiety, I have them at least weekly to almost daily. I've just been trying to stay productive as much as I can but I'm doing literally everything like a zombie. It makes me lose my mind sometimes. I keep thinking what's the point in everything I do? But I do it anyways just because I know laying in bed isn't gonna help me either, I've been dealing with severe mental illness for 7 years now so I kinda got used to it? I feel like this has caused my dissociation to finally develop, because especially the last few years have been traumatizing. It has been like this for me for 7 months straight now.. and I wonder so many times how I'm still here.
Dissociation helps a lot with forgetting traumatizing things that happened to you. I forget stuff for years until someone brings it up then there goes all of the memories coming back. I zone out so much I try to stop but I can’t. I don’t feel pain at all I just let it bottle up and turn into anger. Wow I have a lot of issues.
same
I've been aware of dissociation for a while now and have dissociated several times in my past. However, I realised very recently that I dissociate quite frequently as a coping mechanism after my mental health got a lot worse. It's always interesting to me how I can have a lot of knowledge about psychology but overlook what's happening in my own mental health.
I feel that. I'm pretty good at taking other people's psychological situations and giving them good mental advice but when it comes to me.. It's extremely difficult to listen to myself.
haha samee. im a psych major looking to become a psychiatrist or therapist but im really good at trying to avoid myself
Yup I'm the same way
It hurts. Everyone always tells me shit like "don't self diagnose" and I'm literally mid telling them how I have every symptom of a mental illness and all they wanna do is tell me I'm crazy for wanting to stop feeling like I'm crazy.
I remember at a very young age, I had this haunting feeling like I was a passenger in my body, peering through the windows of my eyes, feeling like I was subconsciously acting out the will of some entites. In middle school I used to forget the class I needed to go to halfway walking to it, or sometimes the specific building I was in or where I was exactly, it was pretty scary trying to recollect where I was or what I was doing, but still, I'm hesitant in saying I have any condition.
Bro someone put it into words it's like you are watching a video in vr like you don't have any real control over your own action
I was starting to question whether I was really actually dissociating because people keep saying "it's like living in 3rd person" which it never was like to me. Like... It rather felt like a.... 2nd first-person perspective...
Hearing someone else say this for the first time is a bit calming.. This is all still very scary to me. I don't know how to work with this.
sorry that you guys are going through this but, many have broken away from it or have gotten it under control to a certain degree, but I hope you guys break away from it as well, much love to you all, hang in there and God bless !
Matthew 11:28-30“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
Feeling like a passenger in your own body, at least for me, is 100% the result of accepting that we have no free will. I'd actually argue that's how we *should* feel
I would do that too
I have a lot of memory loss, and sometimes I get yelled at just for forgetting something that apparently was just told. I have trauma from when I was younger due to family problems, and at first I never realized that I had been through trauma. But when I started therapy and learned more about why I have memory loss and how it was caused I was kind of shocked..
I feel you there. Good job survivin
Don't let those idiots holler at you for forgetting stuff. They'd kill themselves in your shoes. Don't take sh!t from mentally weak people.
Keep going you got this
Hope things are going well,
you’re very strong for enduring all of that.
Yes! I can relate. It kinda sucks feeling different but it’s such a relief to finally get some answers & realize you’re not alone and you’re not weird for reacting the way you are. One thing I’ve been trying to be, is more patient with my mind, because though I find dissociation as a nuisance, my brain is just doing it’s best to protect me.
Cheers to surviving & pursuing therapy! ❤️
What helped me dealing with dissociative symptoms was practicing mindfulness to become more aware of when I was in the state of dissociation, accepting the feeling of numbness and also feeling sad about being in the state of feeling numb. Feeling sad about lacking emotions and recognising what dissociation does to my life helped me get back to my emotions. However I also find it important to try to find out why one is dissociating to find a convincing reason to fight it. I'm very thankful that I had a good therapist supporting me during this journey.
I’d like to point out that you can derealize without having dissociation. I derealize every once in a while, and it’s best to just do something that grounds you such as paying deep attention to each of your senses
I feel like full distraction only helps to not think about the symptoms of Derealization rather than actually decreasing the feeling but that is only me maybe
derealization is a specific form of dissociation.
dissociation or disassociation is the umbrella for any mind-body connect.
@@auntienyannyan I think I have both Derealization and Depersonalization but mostly Derealization
I can’t lie it’s somewhat of a relief to see this many people are struggling with this thing as well❤️
It can certainly be comforting to know that you’re not alone with this. I know it’s a hard journey, but we will make it. I believe in you and I hope that you’re doing well ❤️
@@nuhvaa4280 i certainly take the days a second at a time. I can’t describe how I’m doing really, it’s just not amazing I can say lol. Thank you for your kind words and I do hope that you are doing well and making it on your end as well❤️
Except the narrator's voice, who always seems to be depressed, weak and dying. Pitiful voice.
@@sarahbasto6520 I think you're just projecting.
@@sam8404 i agree on that one
(TW) For me I've always had this specific description for what dissociating feels like that tends to make a lot of my friends freak out when I tell them about it. For me it's like everything loses just how vivid it is, like if everything lost shimmer and color. And your hearing is somehow muffled. Everything looks unfamiliar, and you feel unsafe. Everyone looks like they wanna hurt you. So you try to stay away from people. You look down and look up expecting everyone to be gone, to be in an empty room with nobody because you can't even tell that people are there. They don't feel real and neither do you. Every thought you have leaves your head to make way for another, so you forget most everything that has happened for the maybe hours you dissociate for. You feel physically uncomfortable and understimulated. You stare at the same thing for a long time because you don't even know what's happening. Eventually you begin to panic because nothing feels real and every second lasts a lifetime, or doesn't happen at all. It's entirely terrifying for me...
yes its muffled and everything you see is through a veil or something like that. i have definitely stared for hours. you lose sense of time. i hear things sometimes. i have warped visions and feel that its unsafe to be around people and if i could just be alone. thanks for bringin this out. this definitely made sense. thank you
Yeah reading all these comments of people experiences with the disorder is freaking me out because I experience the same thing. It’s overwhelming
I can sort of understand this although for me it isn't as serious. Nothing is muffled or blurry, but I do sometimes stare and think of nothing, and it kinda feels like I was meant to be by myself, like people shouldn't be there
Edit: And ofc it starts to scare me too because nothing feels real
This is the most accurate depiction of disassociating I’ve seen. I always feel like I’m shrunk back in my own head and everything is in slow motion or no motion at all. I stare blankly and can’t speak.
YEAH THIS
“You can’t go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending...”
―C. S. Lewis
Love from a small RUclipsr💙
I'm crying now
Thank you
I’ve often wondered about whether I dissociate during arguments with my mom, or during stressful situations. Because while I’m physically present and responding at intervals, my mind is either blank or just distant and thinking about other things. But now after learning more about it I know that no, I’m not dissociating. I’m merely compartmentalizing to get through the situation. Which is similar but not the same thing. Thank you for this, it was very helpful
I’m no expert, but I have dealt with trauma. Dissociation is a very wide spectrum, and can include so many symptoms. This does sound like a type of dissociation to me. You might feel disconnected from your emotions, which is a way your brain protects you from them. Feeling like you’re not really present in the moment can also be a big sign of dissociation. While I cannot diagnose you, you are very much describing dissociation.
@@emerald4812 well I’m not fully disconnected from my emotions, I willfully decide to not respond to them. Like I register something getting said upset me but unless it’s truly egregious I don’t react, even though I may have a response. I just emotionally remove myself I guess
I haven’t been diagnosed with anything dissociative, and I’m honestly not sure I’ll bring up my symptoms with my therapist yet as it all feels very surreal and almost as if I were imagining everything.
Whenever I experience symptoms like this, it’s like you said, where you feel like your mind goes blank. I’m still doing things and saying things, but my mind almost feels like it’s been disconnected from what I’m currently saying or doing. This happens most often during conversations.
I still see myself as it should be, but sometimes when I look at myself, I see something as being ‘wrong’ or not really myself, yet I still feel like me. It’s really hard and confusing to explain XD
For the longest time I thought I was completely emotionally numb, it made me really depressed, but then someone pointed out times that I had been obviously happy, and I remembered being happy, but afterwords felt almost foreign. Having a blast playing a card game in my memory turns into simply me playing a card game. No emotions attached.
Besides other symptoms that may or may not be related, I did have a few crazy dreams that I always for some reason remember. I almost never have dreams, but there’s a few in my life that stand out considerably.
@@emerald4812 Have you ever watched the news while having strong Dissociation or Derealization? If yes then how did you feel?
ohh ty i understand now it's called compartmentalizing
I've had this a few weeks ago. I was chatting with someone in a public space and suddenly nothing felt real anymore. I felt like I was going crazy, talking to myself instead of the person I was with. I actually had to remember interactions of other people with this other person to convince myself they were really there and I wasn't losing my mind. I've disassociated before but never for this long or intensely, it was scary.
people think you are crazy or you think you are crazy and somehow things go along but you dont know how. memory loss and hallucination. its crazy how a conversation goes you are there but you arent and how did everything make sense. its very surreal.
I have this but like the who day sometimes, I'd day 70% of the day
This is the most calming Channel
Yep. Thank you! We aim to please.
@@Psych2go This Helps Me through alot of Tough Times and I had Burnout and when I watched your Video I thought it will A Change of Pace for me in life thank you so much Your Help. 💙❤
This is SPOT ON.
I experienced these about a year before finally having to walk away from an emotionally abusive 9 year relationship with a guy I loved so, so much.
My therapist at the time had repeatedly mentioned dissociation and to be honest, I pretty much blew it off because I was hyperfocused on other troubling matters at the time. I didn't realize how telling it was. I would be at a friend's get together or out at dinner with my family or my ex and all of a sudden it was as if my soul had literally walked out of my body to observe in a meloncholy sort of way. Everything around me slowed it's motion, conversations became muffled and it's as if I was looking at everyone from the eyes of say, a fly on the wall. Absolutely surreal. And just as quickly as it came, it went.
Whilst completely sober, I would forget how I got home. I'd forget who I had spoke to on the phone throughout the day. It was crazy. My therapist said it's because my stress levels were so high that my thoughts would be constantly running consciously, but mostly in the background, so much so that I was not "present" in many of those moments. Scary to think about while driving.
It also correlates to off the chart cortisol levels in my body around that time.
I'm a very sensitive person, not just emotionally but physically as well. I don't tolerate pain well at all, but during these moments of dissociation I could endure much more. Like she mentioned in the video, I had all of these unexplained bruises on my body that I couldn't account for. One time a coworker came up and pointed out my bruised shin. He commented on how he thought it would have been bigger. I asked him what he was talking about so he explained that apparently the last shift I had worked I ended up falling....I had completely forgotten. Something like that would have normally made me feel queasy but I had no reaction other than wondering why I couldn't remember hurting myself so badly. Scary stuff, man.
I have the same thing now, I don't know go to prevent it yet
I’ve been dealing with this for the past 8 years of my life. I just turned 30 and i have thrown 8 of the quite seriously the most precious years of my life away in such an overwhelming state of depression, loss of personal identity, and just general consideration for self. Mentally dormant. Every ounce of passion, enthusiasm, imagination, curiosity, and most of all ambition, extinguished. I had hit my maximum as to the negative feelings I was capable of dealing with and just split off from the real world, my problems were no longer *my problems.* I adopted a hauntingly nihilistic mindset that dominates every sense of worry or abandon I feel even to this day. It protects me from any pain, guilt, and damage, and it’s fucking killing me.
All I have now is shame and a steadfast sense of humor helping me along this fast-forwarding of my life.
I have no idea how to get out.
I’m dying quickly and I can’t stop.
i’ve been in a depersonalization state for over two years. the last time i felt present in the moment was probably in my 8th grade year. i’m almost a junior now. it’s been scary not remembering random things because i don’t have the feeling of panic or urgency because of the reassurance that it’s “not my body, the real life people can take care of that, i’m safe out here” type thing. it sounds like nonsense but i’m at the point where i’ve given up trying to feel real again.
That lack of urgency hits so close to home. To me, it feels like I'm playing a video game and I'm just controlling this character. Everyone around me is an NPC, pixels on a screen, shapes and colors, characters reciting lines already written for them. And whenever anything distressing happens, it feels like a cutscene. Like I'm watching a pre-recorded video of the next plot point that's going to advance the story. And of course you can't interact with cutscenes, nor can you really change anything even when you are given minimal control over your character. Those emotional scenes are up to the characters in the story, not me, the player. What do you expect me to do? Press E to help the guy that just fell? I didn't even realize that was an option. Where was the button prompt for that? For me, I don't know when the last time I ever felt real was. I'm always at least a little depersonalized/derealized, and it's scary to think what it'd feel like to be totally grounded. I don't think I even believe it's possible.
I feel you
So did your parents accept that you're trans?
Been dealing with depersonalization for at least 5 years now, it's pretty awful - i feel like time goes back so quickly now compared to before but meditating seems to alleviate it a tad
The first few years of depersonalization/ derealization suck and all you can ever think about is why it won’t go back to normal or the way it was. Eventually you learn to live in your new reality and it won’t bother you as much. Takes years and years though. Mines not gone and it’s been 12 years.
Have been with dissociation all my life and the biggest thing that helped is learning to accept it and work with it. To be kind and understanding to myself. I don't punish myself, I immediately note down what's happening and pay attention to patterns. It's ok for me to dissociate, if my mind needs that escape then go for it but I let it know I am safe, we are safe and that it's ok to come back. Keeping a journal and using dissociation prompts helped drastically as well. One is taking 5 min to note down everything you did or what happened that day, everything that happened outwardly only. Do that 3 times a day and note the time. That helps with heavy dissociation and connect with reality again. Fighting against dissociation will put you in a constant battlefield mode that you will lose, be kind and understanding to yourself as that is the most powerful thing you can do to help yourself.
I loved that they finally brought up dissociation, but I wish they touched more on the fact that derealization/depersonalization can turn into a disorder where someone is stuck experiencing dissociative symptoms every single day.
agree
as someone with ADD. This is just what my life has been anyways. It would be the perfect place for my subconsciousness to hide my struggles as a person. You... might want to get checked for ADHD inatentive though if you feel like this is constant.
I have ADHD and I use diassociation as a form of entertainment.
@@blackqweenmars it is funny you brought that up because sometimes disassociation is like a break from my adhd and my mind can just exist. I know it is not a good thing to have happen but I try to paint it in a positive light so I don't start making myself feel bad for it happening.
I recently had a panic attack a few weeks ago. I was already feeling pretty stressed out around that time but through a move from my mind to calm myself down, I started feeling anxious about being anxious, which made me spiral into some of the symptoms in the video. It was like I was being pushed out of my own body, like I was losing control and my reality was going blurier and blurier. There were times when I calmed myself down a bit but this went on for 2 days at least.
Most of my trauma is relatively minor in the grand scheme of things, prolonged bullying in primary school by students and teachers alike, and getting run over by a car 2 years ago being the 2 that come to mind. However, like my parents, I'm naturaly anxious. The fact that my anxiety can invite itself at any time and amplify my stress to this degree is frightning. It's such a fucked up loop to find yourself in.
It was scary but it served as reminder to take care myself and my mental health, something that I neglected a bit too much with college and all that. Anyway, thank you for posting this. Knowing It's a real thing and somthing that others have to deal with as well makes me feels a bit better about myself. And to anyone dealing with dissociation, I believe in y'all.
Dissociation is a way our minds try to escape perceived danger and pain. It's a defense mechanism. I do it when I need to, but I know I really need to fix the things truly causing my stress. It seems to live in the body, but I hear some things help even with that.
Ill have moments where its almost like ive "gained sentience" and ill be hyper aware of my surroundings suddenly, sometimes I'll forget what was going on, even with mundane things like walking through my house. It happens a lot when looking in mirrors. I just, won't recognize myself. Like, I know it's me. But it doesn't LOOK right. Like my face shape looks off, my eyes look off, my complexion. I think those are the worst moments. Especially when they trigger a dysphoric episode.
Same idk what to do about it lol
crazyness
Same, especially with the lack of identity for me and I can't handle mirrors or reflections well for the same reason you said. I know what I'm looking at is supposed to be me but it just doesn't look right it doesn't feel like it's really me or something I don't know how to explain it and then I'm just immediately drowned in this sick sick feeling where I'm literally retching at my own reflection.
@@eduardoreis8443 No, it's dissociation. Just because *you* have such a privileged life doesn't mean everyone does. Don't bother replying. I don't care what you have to say. It doesn't matter
@@osheridan sorry buddy I was stressed and said something rude, have a good day
I look at my father one day and I realize, "he's may dad, this is wierd." It confuses me as to why I feel like this sometimes. Thank you for making this video.
Yeah like someone that you've known all your life is now a stranger
Hahahaha everyone does that bro. Dads are weird 😂
Yessss exactly!!! I would look at my mom and wouldn’t ever recognize her I felt like if she’ was a stranger to me
that’s not dissociating
This happened to me a lot when I was younger. Today I had a panic attacked and it happened again. But when I was younger I used to wake up every day and felt everything was fake, my life, my mother, my sister, I felt out of place and that I didn’t belong in this world, like I was just put into this weird family that I felt so distant from and didn’t even know. Now I’m better because I decided to leave my abusive mother who caused all this damage to me, now I’m getting better, I hope I am.
I remember that there was a time a while back where I began walking around, looking for something. I didn't know what I was looking for, or where I was going. I was watching myself walk around, looking blind. It was terrifying. I remember feeling like I was on the inside of my body, trying so hard to figure out what was happening. I would look at myself in the mirror and feel nothing, it was almost like I wasn't seeing anything at all. Everything was gray, and I was so confused and numb. I'm so glad that I was able to learn more about these sort of things, and get the help that I needed. It's a scary thing to try to sort out all on your own, especially as a kid (I was 13 when these things were at their worst) and I'm forever grateful for those who helped me understand. ♡ This video is so useful and important. Thank you for sharing so much information.
Disassociation for me is very stressful and just plain annoying sometimes. Some people are able to pull themselves out of it, but for others, like me, it’s not that easy. Most of the time I’m conscious if the fact that I’m disassociating but I just can’t bring myself back. It’s very annoying and distressing, and can be hard to deal with sometimes. Especially if it’s happening for a long period of time, it can get tiring.
umm yeah i felt that.. it was rly hard to "calm" or ground my self down if happens for a longer period
My heart goes out to all those who have shared their experiences with this in the comments. I love you all.
I needed this. I dissociate. My therapist says there is an unconscious part of me and I feel so dissociated and scared and confused. I feel like know one feels this way.
Did the therapist work with you to dig deeper into the subconscious part?
@@psych2goeducation804 a bit yeah
@@psych2goeducation804 I just feel alone. I don't know if anyone is scared of unconsciousness.
@@diamondcookieoftruth898 i feel you.
@@samdraven8536 wait really? I'm not alone? Are you afraid of unconsciousness?
Thanks a lot for this video. I experience all of that almost everyday since a year and half and it's terrifying. Particularly when you're in public and you're suddenly hit by derealization. I'm greateful that everytime it happened to me, I was with a friend. I just have to grab their arm tightly and they understand that I'm not really anymore, I can't understand what's around me and I need help to not end up lost in an unknown place. But I've always been scared that it would happen when I'm all alone. I have some tips, like always taking the same exact route so when I go on auto-pilote, I know I will end up at home safely. I always have stim toys in my pockets, but it already happened that I forgot them, and I now have a scar on my wrist. I did with my nails, when I had an anxiety attack and dissociative episode in the bus. A lot of people think that it's something "cool", that "you can see the world in a different way". But it's not. Really. It's a nightmare and can give anxiety. This video explain it really well and shortly. I write too much, I'm tired, I don't even know if my sentences are correct. I will try to sleep now. Thank you a lot, and to all the people who live this, be safe, love you 🙌🏼❤
Going through these comments is really taking a huge weight off my chest, I'm glad I'm not the only one experiencing these things, knowing I'm not alone really does ease a lot of anxiety.
When it starts in early childhood and it's all you know, it is normalized. Then somehow you make it to middle age and finally start to understand whats happening. Thanks mom for the great life. 👍
Well that explains a lot. I have had most of these symptoms for several years. Whenever something really bad or seemingly traumatic would happen, I would go into a state of absolute emptiness where I felt like it was just stuff happening around me that didn't matter.
What happens to you matters. I think you were protecting yourself by dissociating. You matter.
I get this and the memory loss is a bitch . I wont even realize I forgot those things till people ask or bring it up and im left saying "I dont remember".
Same, it sucks
How long have you been experiencing this?
The only thing you need to remember is that evolution is suicide because eventually you realize that life is stupid and pointless.
@@idreamindarknessandsleepto1475 that is one way to look at it. Life is not half bad though....
@@Psych2go 2 years now
Now reading all these comments, they’ve made me realise I may have had it for longer than I remember, just not as strong. My main peak was a few months ago, where I believe I had bad (undiagnosed) depression and oncoming anxiety (bad anxiety came after). I was also insanely stressed out by so many things and I just started to really notice the feeling of how everything just felt so strange and unreal, like everything in my life was a lie. Sometimes it scared me, sometimes it fascinated me and sometimes it just plain annoyed me. It fascinated me because I think possibly when I was a bit younger and before that, during that, and even sometimes now, I had the ability to just walk into a room inside my house and create a slow realisation of how it looked and practically alienate it in such a way where it felt unreal, in such a way that I could make what felt so normal, almost feel new again. I don’t really know if I experience this as much anymore, as if it’s constant or anything. Sometimes I don’t notice it, or it’s really mild, but I’m able to almost “summon” up the feeling by just thinking about it. In some ways it scares the shit out of me, and in others I’m so genuinely thankful because it can be almost like a protection in dangerous or stressful situations. A few days ago actually, I was in horse riding and the horse I was on suddenly took off and I had to control her but I felt the dissociation so strongly there that I had to remind myself it was reality, resulting in the reason why I was so calm during it. Other times it’s helped me when I’ve had a genuine fear of going into school and every day I’d walk in, so fucking nervous, anxious and scared, and I’d just tell myself “this isn’t real, this isn’t real, it’s ok, this isn’t real” and I’d practically numb myself to feel safe.
I also remember one night when I was in the bathroom, while everyone else was asleep, I was crying and almost screaming at myself in the mirror because I was so confused and worried and I believe I felt the depersonalisation at its strongest there too. Honestly some scary shit.
There’s so many mixed emotions I have on this, that just take too long to explain, but to anyone else out there struggling with this, I just only hope it gets easier for you.
Those mirror times you feel nothing and everything at the same time
ive been thinking my disso started earlier than i thought too, the major event just made what was there so much more intensified
I got diagnosed with disassociative anxiety and this what I feel on the daily I thought I was alone, this makes me feel so much better about it thank you!
Back in December I had appendicitis, and during recovery I was stuck in a children’s hospital cancer floor for an entire week. It broke me. Over time, my situation became more and more stressful, until the point where I had a breakdown, looking back after thinking at the time that this was simply cabin fever, I couldn’t possibly have estimated, to any lower extent, how dangerous of a state I was in. Most majorly notable factor of this was depersonalization, I had felt I lost all control over myself, as if I couldn’t control my actions or expressions, it truly is a terrifying experience, especially given the normality of the circumstance, which I am glad I overcame.
I relate to this! I feel like there are times I can’t control my actions or my expressions. I was talking with someone once about something going on my life that was really dark and depressing and in the middle of it I smirked and didn’t even realize I was doing it. I wasn’t in control of myself. It was like the real me had floated off into another existence or something. I couldn’t even pay attention. Everything goes into one ear and out the other. I forget so many things all the time. Just recently I’ve had to start writing things down. Which is so weird because growing up I always had a pretty damn good memory. I had already started experiencing all of this last spring but it got 10 times worse after losing my dad to COVID last august. Never thought I’d lose him when I was only 27. Over time I’ve slowly gotten worse it seems like.
Thank you for this video, I had an abusive childhood and just left an abusive partner a few months ago. This video reminded me of how intense all these symptoms were when I was dealing with those parts of my life, and how much I have recovered from them both mentally. I still have issues with dissociation, and derealisation but almost never with depersonalisation anymore. I feel so much more like me and I'm happy there are signs to support the fact that I'm healing. My mind doesn't want to run away from what my life is anymore so I must be doing something right 💙
I recently starting going to therapy due to curiosity and was told that I might have a dissociative disorder. Every thing that has been mentioned in the video I have experienced. I do not do self harm nor have I thought of it. But I think if you are experiencing these symptoms you should look into “grounding”. They haven’t had much success with me but it feels somewhat helpful👌🏻
I’m 18 & had it since September 2021. I really want to go to therapy but i’m so stubborn to ask my father for help. I apologized if this is personal to ask but what are the techniques your therapist does to keep you from dissociating or trying to help you with?
@@_anaaaaa as I said above grounding is a good thing to look into. Supposed to keep you more aware of your surroundings. There are different techniques for different senses. For me I do stuff with my hands because I have a good sense of touch. There’s also things such as trying to find your triggers for dissociating. I’m still experimenting but I think mine might be due to caffeine or food
Whenever I present a project or dance at a dance competition/ recital I COMPLETELY blank out. I never remember a thing that goes on but I remember the events after. If I am not disconnected from myself while doing one of those activities I mess up and hesitate. I’m glad when I do blank out because it makes me better at whatever I’m doing, I’m not in my head overthinking things.
This might be different than what the video was talking about but I just thought I’d share it
SAME 1000% i see it as a superpower sometimes..but it’d be nice to remember the times when i’m up on stage :(
Fighting this was one of hardest battles when I was getting mentally better. I still deal with it sometimes but I’m so happy I’m getting better! I pray everyone who deals with it, gets better too!
A few months ago I was officially diagnosed with part symptoms of ptsd due to sexual assault and abusive parents. I'm in therapy and it helped alot to figure out which situations might trigger a dissociation.
i have struggled since i was little with dissociation. i did not know what it was for the longest time. ever since i was molested as a child, i have experienced borderline personality disorder and dissociation . Sometimes i feel confused as to where I am and get severe dizzy spells. It doesn't hurt to think about what had happened to me. Instead, I moved to alcoholism as a self harm mechanism to feel more at peace with my mind. I hardly remember much of what happened. but there are very specific details i remember to this day, even though i was only five years old when it started. I almost died at my school about a month ago from alcohol poisoning. I was found seizing in the bathroom and was wheeled by ambulance to the nearest ER. to everyone who is struggling with this, you are not alone, okay?
sometimes it is scary waking up at night from a staring trance at the wall. Losing hours of sleep... not realizing ive been in another world... staring into nothingness for hours and hours at night time is one way my mind would dissociate. I sometimes think about how I really am in real life, that this is not a game, and that i really am a real person around other real people. Sometimes it is scary, i know. but you can do this. if anyone wants to reach out to me, let me know and i will give you my information in the replies. much love and blessings
I've been dealing with horrible memory loss and a sense of hopelessness for years now. I think I finally found out why. It matches all too perfectly and I now have answers to so many things I've been wondering for basically half of my entire life. Thank you, I know you don't see this, but thank you. I deeply appreciate you helping me, although it is a little scary to think about. :)
Always best to see someone professionally at first so they can help you figure out whats really going wrong in your brain because it may be much more complex than just dissociation
I’ve had severe depersonalization for 11 years. I’ve completely lost all self identity a long time ago.
I NEVER thought it would last this long 😞
Hey it will be okay for real
Take small steps to rein yourself again, it will get better, trust 👍🏼
I feel you I’ve had loss of identity for 7 years now, sad that I just realized I need to reconnect with myself again 😢.
@@rubiplazola
I’m so sorry to hear that. 😢
I’m currently doing that and it’s getting a little better each day. I wish you all the best with your journey, you got this🙏🏼💜
Are you cured now ?
Sometimes, I feel this odd "disconnect", in my mind where I'll temporarily feel no pain, emotionally blank (no sadness or anger), & my love for my boyfriend tries to fade, then everything just "swims" back to me and returns to normal. Is this disassociation?
I'd say that's dissociation, yeah. But I'm not a doctor, I'd see one about that.
Bipolar episode?
I talked to a couple of therapists about this. I explained it to them as my body being in social settings but my mind was watching in 3rd person. My body was in autopilot and lifeless. Fortunately I’m doing a lot better with my new meds. 😊
I’m glad you’re feeling better! I’m currently on Zoloft and don’t think it helps with anything beyond anxiety. If you don’t mind me asking, what meds do you feel have helped you?
@@shellbell9169 Lexapro was helping for a couple of years(anxiety and depression). Recently changed my meds to Prozac and something else(can’t remember off top my head).
@@ecmonkey13 why you did feel life in your body? Because I feel the same I feel it’s dead
@@yasme9680 I daydream a lot. I’m sure that’s one of the reasons I feel out of body easily
@@ecmonkey13 what do mean out of body? I just feel my hand and are not connected to me every day and all the day
I’ve been dissociating for YEARS now (I’m 14) I don’t even remember how it got this bad
😔
@@muhammadowais3676 I’m alright tho don’t worry I ain’t depressed or anything 👌🏻
@@hannahkohl6053 That's great, but i can relate that's why tho..
@BucketListMod you know sometimes the school counselor is useless. at least at my school. the counselor acts like a know-it-all .he thinks he is reading our minds but actually thats not even close . He is not a listener ,more like a commander. And i can say he doesn't think about others before he speak (so it often causes shaming) I'd say he's kindda mean lol
Go to a psychologist not the Internet.
ahh yes another “oh that makes sense…” moment. i have all the symptoms and depression and anxiety so it makes a lot of sense. a lot of things have been going on lately and honestly this make sense because i can’t honestly keep going by myself i feel so lost lol
Now my sudden light headed feelings make sense. Sometimes I hate being in almost constant dissociation because it makes even the good times feel fake, but it does come in handy when feeling overwhelmed and tired
That happens to me all the time multiple times a day. It's freaky sometimes I feel like the world is dropping from under me. It's bad when I'm driving.
@@rachelsalata5216 yesss. While driving is the worst. Weirdly enough, my reaction times seem to be better, but it's scary to know that I'm practically not in as much control as I should be. I usually pull over and let it pass before I drive off again
I've had this since I was a child. It happened a good amount growing up, but I fear it's gotten way worse years later. I experience it everyday. This does a good job explaining it, but its way more disturbing than explained. It seems like I blinked, and now I'm 40. Honestly I'm not all that present when anyone is around. Anyone. Including my roommates, and family. Everything stresses me out all the time. Down to the concept of life, and it's expectations. I stress over, and wonder how lo g I can keep it together. To quote the show Rick and Morty, Existance is pain.
Down, to the concept of life... I felt this :(
Sometimes when something is so hard to deal with, like disappointing people/myself in particular, I'll just forget about it.
I'll remember where I was and other irelavent details but whatever made me deeply upset I just won't remember. When I try to think about what happened it feels mentally draining, like it's there but my mind refuses to think about it.
It's helpful in that I don't have to deal with it but when the time comes to acknowledge what happened with whoever was involved, I apologize not at all knowing what I'm apologizing for.
I think it might be because that's what makes me feel the worst, disappointing people.
I totally relate. It’s incredibly difficult for me to deal with feelings of shame especially if another person is involved. I definitely have deep seeded perfectionism and just forget things when I don’t want to feel them. I remember being a kid watching Ruby on tv with my mom and she was talking about her repressed memories. I remember being almost jealous and wishing I could forget the physical and mental abuse my dad put on me and my sisters. And now as an adult I have trouble remembering the smallest things. I can remember random details or have memories jogged if people give me a lot of details. But it sucks cuz I feel like those I care about might not feel that way when I forget important things. Like I care, but I feel like I don’t have much control over what I remember and don’t. Most of my childhood I don’t remember now besides little pictures almost. And my short term memory isn’t the greatest either. People think it’s weird I don’t delete my messages, but if I do then I won’t know what I said or the other person said and I can easily be manipulated because of that or end up being manipulative if I’ve suddenly switched up my tone after I’ve processed feelings. It’s just a way to keep myself accountable and also keep me away from people who could take advantage of that whether they’re trying to or not
Man I never realized I do this. This is why I love Psych2go cause it educates you. You can also talk to your doctor or therapist about this. Have yet to find one but I'm ok
I have been completely dissociated from reality since I’ve was very young. I was born to extremely abusive parents and raised by the foster system, where I had 3 separate occasions where my neglect was life threatening.
I had to repress my emotions to such an extent as a kid that to this day I don’t smile naturally, I have to force it. Same with any strong emotion tbh. I simply can’t process my anger or grief in a healthy way so it’s completely sealed away. It’s like I literally don’t have access to certain feelings sometimes. I’ll just feel completely numb and disconnected from reality but somehow still functioning within it.
The worst part is that I repressed my memories too. And I lied a lot as a child. That was a defensive mechanism as well. So now I have a patchwork, hazy timeline of memories that I can never trust are real. I know bad things happened to me. The scars on my back, broken jaw, stab wound on my side, and broken nose all prove it.
But I can never know for sure if my memory of the events that caused those injuries are really what happened. I have caught myself in false memories before so I can’t rule it out.
Not being able to trust my own memories of the events that traumatized me so badly that both my brothers(who were in the same homes as me) wound up with extreme mental health issues is an awful feeling. My youngest brother is genuinely on the path being a serial killer. He has to be institutionalized for life for the safety of others.
I don’t know why I’m sane and they aren’t. And as weird as it sounds, I don’t know if I’m sane or not. Having such a fractured identity makes it so hard to work through my trauma, even with professional help.
Sorry for over sharing but I don’t speak on this often, and sometimes it’s better for me to just put it out to the faceless masses than it is for me to go to a close friend. I know none of them have the experience to understand, but maybe some of y’all do.
Thank you for sharing
@@SR-ru2tu thank you for reading it. it felt good to get it off my chest
although probably not even a quarter of the stuff that you said happened to you happened to me, i feel almost the same way. i’m so desensitized i don’t even smile. at all. it’s takes a lot to get me to smile. my parents were abusive- they say they weren’t, but my memories lost from childhood and mental illnesses and trauma say different. i don’t even know if i’ve been abused- probably? but my parents always yelled at me, treated me like trash, threatened me with harsh punishments for the smallest things i did- i remember one being “if you don’t fucking stop, i’ll sell you on ebay”. i don’t have many memories of the abuse, but i experience dissociation because of it.
All your words fell into place and described that feeling that so many times ive felt isolated in. Your story made me feel less alone.
The soothing voice of this video is much appreciated. Makes total sense for a video on this topic as the viewer might be already in much stress 💯
Yep. Ive experienced this severely to where I lost touch of everything and had to “escape” my mind. I’ve since been better and have worked through a lot but it’s something nobody understands how difficult it can really be to overcome it unless they go through it. Thanks for the video.
Teach me your ways sensei. What helped you overcome?
I once experienced viewing myself move, walk the hallway of our school and talk to my classmates casually. But it isnt ME me. I am well aware of my surroundings that time but it felt like i am not the one doing stuff. Its just like im watching a movie of myself from my own perspective.
Everytime you guys post it relates to my current situation * ps I felt this one before and now it happened all over again
You summed up derealization perfectly.. for years I had this and I did not know what it was called and I think once you understand what things are with mental health issues it does help to know that there's a name for it and that there's other people out there and that there are treatments for it I think understanding what's going on is over half the battle because once you know then you can go from there and work on healing and maintaining your mental health
It's amazing and I can't explain how you guys manage to answer all my questions without even knowing. Recently, I was faced with this dissociation disorder. It's so scary and I was afraid I was crazy. I so wanted an answer... And thank you for always helping others. I have no words to say how important your videos are to me.
I ended up having this go on a few months ago, during a very traumatic time for me with someone im no longer friends with. It was a very toxic situation, and during that time, I felt like I wasn't myself, or i felt like I wasn't even there. I got alot of memory loss from all of it, and I was commonly light headed during all of it too, which could have also been caused by my terrible sleep schedule that everything had put on me. Im glad its over now, and Im glad I found this video, thank you for all of these wonderful videos, they've helped me out alot ^^
I often have memory lapses that I usually just associate with ADHD, but then come the moments where I feel trapped in my own head, yet I'm screaming at myself to respond to someone talking to me and my body refuses to respond; I won't look in their direction, I won't pause what I'm doing, I just...auto-pilot. I've experienced the de-colorization of the world a couple of times, but I experience the dizzy spells more often than them.
...Huh. It all makes sense now.
i think my derealization started when i was in 8th grade. i went through a very traumatic event in 8th grade and i went through a month-long depressive episode afterwards. after that episode i remember going completely numb, i couldnt feel any emotions and i wasnt aware of anything happening in my life at the time. four years later and i feel a bit better. i can experience emotions sometimes but not every time. i find myself not being able to genuinely laugh or experience in-the-moment happiness. i can allow myself to feel sadness or anger and even happiness when i look back on memories, but i never feel these emotions in the moment. it feels like i’ve lost my true self and i’ve become this empty husk of a person. because of this i’ve become super self conscious about my social life and how i interact with others and i feel as if i’m the definition of the word boring. i used to be super friendly and talkative before the event that started this and it was always easy for me to make friends but now i struggle with the few friends i have. sometimes it feels like i’m not even here mentally anymore and i just live through life spaced out. i realize this but i have no access to therapy. any tips?? i want to feel like myself again :)
First, I’d just like to say that I really appreciate you starting off with “I think”. I’ve always thought it was a problem that I didn’t know when my derealization started.
Overall, I’m in a somewhat similar situation. Started very young, adopted a “fake it till you make it” mentality, I’m known as the friend who forgets constantly, and now I’m a junior in college. All in a flash. I’m an artist and whenever I draw I practically “nope out” of reality. I don’t really remember most of the drawing session when I’m done. I’ve constantly been aware of this problem of feeling numb, but I have no idea how to fix it. Similarly, my social life has been effected immensely. I stutter and scramble my words as my brain tries to think of the right words; but, it’s as if my brain has shutdown (in what I consider a stressful situation) and can’t remember what words are.
I would love some advice too!!!
Regardless, I am genuinely happy this video has stumbled on my feed. I got to read not only your experience with dissociation but many others! And these stories have told me that I’m truly not alone.
Regardless of what or when the outcome may be, I hope for a colorful future for us both :)
@@miidnxght7583 This is so sweet!! I'm severely thankful for you taking this time to let me know that I'm not alone, and I'm happy that this video has helped you realize this as well :) Best of luck to you and I hope your journey brings much fortune and happiness your way!
As a victim of dissociation, diagnosed, this video is very accurate to the pain of dissociation. I believe it may be helpful to people with symptoms figure out there situations. Thank you very much for sharing awareness.
really got me shook on the depersonalization part.
I've literally had the thought that I'm just watching someone else live my life, and therefore - since it isn't really me - I don't have to care what happens to me.
that has been me for the last year. boot camp and this schooling im going through has really messed up my brain chemistry to the point where i know i’m not the same person but i feel like i’m just seeing someone control me. i usually am a compassionate and emotional person but now i’m more so tempered and shutoff from showing emotions
*“You’ll watch an entire Netflix series even when the first episodes are slow just because someone told you that ‘it gets better’, but what if you looked at your goals like that and watched your life get better instead?”*
Love from a small channel💙
I still remembered when I was struggling with PTSD & Anxiety. Didn’t even noticed that I was there but not really there half of the time.
Just knew that I was losing my memory, felt like my body was more in control of what it wanted to do rather than me actually being able to do it (so essentially it felt like someone was controlling my body)
Most of the time, I was getting flashbacks and nightmares of the accident tho.
I was aware of what was going on but the only thing I genuinely remembered at that time was eating, showering, doing a few chores, grocery & sleeping. Everything felt like a blur and I was panicking half of the time because my memory and concentration was fading in and out.
It was only around the end of January that I actually was able to remember everything that had occurred. It felt like my mind was trying to block out what happened (suffered an accident that resulted in minor head injury)
It’s actually scary, I stop and look around and think “wow, this is earth. This is where i’ve made memories.” and it baffles me, I can’t comprehend im on a planet with other people. I also forget my childhood, things that happened and things that had happened yesterday, it’s terrifying.
Yesterday night I was crying/having a mental breakdown and suddenly I just stopped, I had a straight face on and started thinking about philosophical things and how i’m actually real. I’m not sure why I do that, it happens quite often where i’ll just respond in a monotone voice or don’t show any emotion during things. I’ll even put myself through pain so I can realize I have a body and i’m alive. I have to touch things to confirm it’s real and there.
Stepping out of my room is like stepping into another world, I forget that it’s there.
This has been happening to me a ton lately. A lot more since I’ve started college this fall. It was also the time where I’ve been the most depressed along with the feeling of numbness. It has gone to the point where I have intrusive thoughts of self harm. I don’t act on them because I don’t want to burden my family with it either.
All of those things hit me hard when I was 14-15 starting high school. I’m now 22 and I’ve only learned to deal with it and channel it into positive things it hasn’t gone away
Disassociation, depersonalization, derealization.... I promise you all who are going through it it goes away ❤️ I never thought that it would have but only a few months after and it's already almost gone
Yikes… used to suffer all of these symptoms intensely. I also felt entirely apathetic.
At that level of disassociation I actually felt like the epitome of dead inside. Just felt like I was watching reality happen.
Then I got therapy and was also given Prozac. Largely better now. No longer feel suicidal, entirely disassociated, violently murderous, and constantly hallucinating (lightly) both visually and auditory.
The new issue I face since I stopped taking Prozac is controlling my emotions again…
Because I actually feel them 😂. You don’t have to manage emotions which you don’t feel.
The smallest slight feels like it can whip me into a frenzy for a few hours…
At least I’m pretty good at stopping myself from hurting other people or breaking stuff while angry, it’s just extremely hard to stop being angry.
It’s so… demotivating and annoying because I know it’s stupid.
Along with that for almost a month I was nearly paralysed with fear. Had daily nightmares, night terrors, insomnia, basically couldn’t sleep and became scared of the dark 😂
At least I also find I feel love and happiness again… but man I’m lightly depressed regardless so I don’t feel them much 😭
But watching this was comforting. and it made me proud of myself that I got through such a trying cycle of depression. Although I still think I need therapy just so I can get myself functioning properly without medication.
it is scary. very dreadful. yet not knowing it is that very thing. very hard to describe.
@@ramsesclviii2584 Now I’m a recovered addict, am learning to simply live a good life, and I’m thinking about making RUclips channel, for science, maths, art, philosophy and ethics.
I got to recovery through journaling, meditation, and gratitude journaling.
Also just making my body healthier.
But I’ve devised a logical mathematical set of rules that I can never stray from.
Because it is the ultimate purpose for me.
I’ve made a few ideas already.
If you wanna look for it
I’m just gonna call it my name, Freddy Briers.
I’ve recorded a short video already, but I’ve not made the channel.
I’ve journaled a LOT of content ideas too.
If you can’t find it, just means I haven’t gotten round to it yet 😂