How I Healed My Toxic Relationship With Money
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- Опубликовано: 27 сен 2024
- In today's video I'm sharing 10 ways I healed my toxic relationship with money. For a lot of my adult life, I was in over $120,000 student debt, I was a compulsive shopaholic, a hoarder, and I frequently turned to spending as my coping mechanism of choice.
I started my debt free journey in 2019, but along the way I had to learn to address the relationships and assumptions I always had about money. I found out mine were where highly rooted in scarcity, guilt and an overall lack of trust and confidence in myself. Today I'm 100% debt free, I've got a much healthier relationship with my stuff and my shopping, and I'm learning to heal my guilty relationship to money. Here's 10 things that helped me do that. I hope it helps you if you feel the same or are in a similar situation.
#debtfreejourney #moneymindsets #healingjourney
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ABOUT ME:🌿
I'm Christina, friendly neighbourhood human on the internet slash pharmacist. You may have previously known me as Style Apotheca. I'm living in Toronto, Canada and on my channel you'll find me on my journey towards minimalism, being content with less, recovery from a shopping addiction, and my journey towards financial freedom from over $120,000 in student loan debt. Thank you SO much for watching and taking the time out of your day to support my channel. A little thumb always helps support me!
1. Practice radical honesty
2. Budgeting
3. Track spending
4. Tangible money goal
5. Stop blaming others for our financial mess
6. Different ways to earn money
7. Embracing what we love to spend money on.
8. Learning to be frugal, but not cheap
9. Consistency
10. Unlearning scarcity mindset.
Thanks and nice profile pic lol
"I am the problem and the solution". Yep!
It has taken most of my adult life to get to where my bills are paid, have $ in savings, and have cash left over at the end of the month. I grew up in a household with 3 siblings and parents who made decent money. But coming home to the electricity being shut off for nonpayment, seeing a car get repossessed, and still hundreds of dollars spent at Christmas for gifts gave me very confusing ideas about money. I’ve learned that my priorities are a roof over my head, a dependable car, (not a fancy one), and making sure my pets are taken care of. I like clothes, but I prefer to wear jeans and a tee, and now, I mostly buy used and thrifted. I use good brands on my hair, and get highlights every 3-4 months, but don’t care about makeup. Once you figure out what is important, using your money for those things, and not what you see on IG or YT every month, becomes so much easier.
For me, it is about undoing the mindset that was instilled in me at a young age. My mom would treat me like a $ screw up. She was wrong. It was a lie to keep me dependent on her. Now that she is gone, I am coming into the financial person I was meant to be. I am almost debt free and living a good life.
Hi Christina, I am 19 and I started working when I was 15. I did saved up a lot but overtime, I spent some of that money to things that are not essential and are not needed to the point that almost half of what I’ve saved up was almost gone. I came across your channel and I realize that I still have a chance to fix my finances😊 thank you so much for sharing your tips
This is a wonderful, informative video. I can see how my former high school students could have greatly "profited" from this information and your honest, personal experience.
Now, I am a 74 year old widow. Because of my husband's hard work and frugality, I am in a comfortable position. I want to respect and honor his care for our family. So…I am fervently watching all your videos on budgeting and making sure that I, too, leave behind a comfortable legacy for our two sons and their families. You have opened my old eyes to some bad habits and some new possibilities! Thank you for your RUclips channel!
Love your intellectual approach to things. I tackled money 5-6 years ago…. but my relationship with food has progressively declined. I watched this video a second time to see how I could apply it to food issues- I think it could work- budgeting = meal planning, money tracking = food journal, etc. Thank you for this video!
There’s a great workbook for this
LOVE this shorter hair era! 😍
Welp, im 3 mins in and 'radical honesty' hit me hard (self reflection is rough yo)..annnnd the video isnt even over yet. This is exactly why i love Xtina...giving me the honest straight dope. 🖤
Thank you! Can you make a video about overcoming the shame of careless spending habits of your past self / in your 20s? The shopping addiction eats up many people's financial stability and it feels like a big loss.
Yes I can! I think the main thing is acknowledging our pasts, but not letting that determine our present and future. Easier said than done, but the past doesn’t need to dictate where we go next and hold us back. ❤️
@@Christinamychas I'd love to hear more about it. Today's video was really valuable for me
@@Christinamychas please reply my comment 😭
This is a big one! I worked 3 jobs back in the day, but had nothing to show for it! I'm in my 50's now, and STILL get angry at my younger self sometimes!
I have learned so much from your videos. I love clothes, and I now shop so carefully for my pieces. I thrift most of them, the capsule wardrobe made everything so much easier for me. I appreciate your honesty, I was shopping to fill a void, nothing can truly fill me. I'm working on that. If I purchase any piece, it must be perfect for me. I no longer settle. Plain and simple.
I started watching years ago and have loved all the videos on your journey of becoming who you really want to be! I love Ramit’s books and podcast, t I have the opposite problem Ramit talks about, truly enjoying my money when I do spend it. I have been a saver my entire life (and cut out Starbucks as well). Now I am realizing that a Starbucks visit or the more expensive earrings are ok purchases if I have the money and truly will enjoy the purchase. Constant agonizing over a purchase is almost as toxic as over spending! This year my radical responsibility is to make the decision on the purchase and move on. Not spend hours wounding if, glorifying the item, constantly searching for cheaper alternatives.
#7 resonates with me. I work very hard...have no debt and I will be unapologetic spending money on the things make me happy. Thanks for saying those words out loud😊
This video is exceptional. #7 (at 12:00) is exactly the words I needed to hear right now as I formulate a plan and a mindset foe money this next year. I often feel guilty spending money at all, especially on things where the "only" value they provide is bringing me joy -- which is absolutely value! I am learning to disregard the voice in my head that says my joy is not a "good enough" reason to spend money. Will definitely be coming back to this video in future, when I need the reminders of why I place my values where I do, and that my joy really is worth putting money toward. Thank you, Christina.
I cannot thank you enough 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
Wow Christina, this is gold right here!!! I agree 100% bravo 👏🏽
I totally agree, money can be for the furture but it should be beneficial for us right now in the present as well. It's all a process really and a case by case situation. You have to firgure out what works best for you 😊 I'm saving this video for future reference! Thanks❤
this is exactly what I needed
I'm in Australia . You resonated with me today. I have been stuck in my home since I had an operation on my eyes and finally could go out. The first thing I did was make a regretful clothing purchase . I could kick myself as I didn't really need just wanted it to feel good bugger.. a lot of your tips are invaluable . I know how good it feels to have our home paid for and money in the bank and no stress. Thankyou
You have made such a big difference in my life. I'm still working on my debt, but not adding to it either!
queen!!
love the editing. super engaging and helpful video
Went from being an extreme spender, almost throwing it away to simply see money as a means to and to actually want to have money
Placed a hold to rent both books from Libby! Thank you for the tips.
Yessss I hope you love them!
Such a good video Christina! Thank you for always being vulnerable with us and for providing such great tips that we can easily apply to our own lives
❤️❤️❤️
Yess just what I need. ❤
Wow Christina what a beautiful sharing and I love your videos so so much you are my inspiration and I wish you reach 200K Subscribers very very soon!💫💕😀
What an Amazing share! Thank You for being willing to share the part of your life and healing process with all of us! So many of us struggle and deal with money challenges, not actually getting to the root of the cause so to speak! Following you on YT had definitely been game changer for me and I am sure for so many others. All The Best!!
I got a high paying corporate job (mostly due to pressure from family) and saved up enough for a deposit but it really wasn’t worth it. I lost friends and precious years of my 20s to that job. Since quitting I actually spent most of my “house deposit” on travel and art and fun things.
Now I’m figuring out how to budget on my lower salary - but much healthier work-life balance! It’s so important to have hobbies and allow yourself to enjoy life. Not doing it just leads to regrets and burnout.
I ❤ this! Just came back from the mall and had a minor breakdown....and yet serendiputously came to your channel today. Thank you.
I really appreciated this vid! I just moved to toronto, debt-free and finally a well paying job, but I do have some bad spending habits and a poor relationship with money from growin up and the scarcity mindset you brought up, ty ty ty
hey from halifax! been watching you for a couple of years and recently took the jump to do a lot of the steps you talk about here. i am a nurse and have been out of school for a couple of years with student loans and a shopping problem. i love that you are openly talking about this journey! i love the everydollar app too :) i am excited to do the work and become debt free, building a great financial future, and enjoying life without money stress, guilt and shame!! also love hearing from a fellow canadian girl!
Great video. I think a lot of what you said could apply to any other behavior you want to break. Well done.
This was incredibly helpful, thanks Christina! I've been inspired by your content over the past year and embraced the art of the side hustle (lol) to pay off my credit card debt. These tips you shared have been the reminder (actually the reality check...) I needed x
Thank you Christina! Love the way you were "real" and spoke truth.
You are so very classy and inspiring! Thanks for sharing your journey and your honesty!!
One of my faves. Thanks for your honesty and your great advice 🙏🏽
The scarcity mindset is definitely a challenge to crack!
Wow a great vid , a have same problem, thank you, your honesty in this vid is life changing for me, I ignore my problem until it gets really hard and someone help me then go back to same, I looked everywhere to find vids like this and never found it, today this show up, thank you again.
Love Ramit’s podcast!
Thank you for this!❤
Thank you for this video!!! I also live in TO, pharmacy technician, love clothes, this really helped me to understand a lot of things! 👍🏻🙏
Thank you for sharing your experiences.... The guilt free spending on things that are important to you definitely resonated with me as well as the scarcity mindset.
Love you content. Thank you👍🏻.. I had my car for 9 years... it look very old and still going 😂
9 is young. It'll serve you 11 more, if you're careful!
Great content! I got the book, Dopamine Nation, and got thru half of it today. Meaty! Your honesty and wisdom is so much appreciated. Thank you!!!!!
Hi, just an update… I’m really liking Every Dollar. Thanks so much for sharing this. I think I’m actually spending a lot less money using it. And I have a much better handle on my budget for the month. It helps that I got a project for my freelance copy editing, but still it’s made a big difference. ❤❤ Happy Sunday.
Yay!!
My 1st time to watch your channel! Very informative!!! I’ve learned so much and I should have be mindful along ago with my spending!!!😍
Love it im on summer break and i also have a head injury so been struggling with my routine ❤❤
Thank you so much. Great advice. Much appreciated hearing your story.
Thanks Christina. Great video.
Love your videos Christina!! And love all Simpson references 😊
Super helpful, Christina, these are my favorite videos from you. ❤
Thanks for another great video Christina! I am approximately a month away from being debt free and I’d love to know what your financial goals are now you no longer have any debts. Sorry if I’ve missed a video where you have discussed this! ❤
Saving and investment. She did mention it in this video!
@@mikesamovarov4054 thanks I meant a more in depth breakdown eg saving for what, house, travel, expensive items etc - I’m just being nosey haha
Hi Christina!! I love your videos- am curious to hear more about where you are NOW though! Because I realise you reference your previous debt and spending habits very often, but since you’ve come quite far from that (yay!) I’m also wondering what’s your new motivation, and what keeps you going! Eg. Without the pressure of debt on you, what is your goal now to save up for? Or what motivates you to budget since you don’t have to pay off debt anymore. And now that you’re learning to spend intentionally, are there any new struggles you’ve realised other than impulsive spending! Love your content!!!! And excited to hear more from you!!!❤
Great video. Thank you so much for sharing your experience and journey. Scarcity mindset: That idea is new to me. I’ll have to read up on that.
Your a real inspiration! Highly related to points 8 & 9, you make things seem possible! Would love to hear your financial podcast some day❤
This was a helpful and very timely video Christina. Thank you so much for making it.
Great video, Christina! Thank you!
Fantastic video! x
Hello from Brazil
I love your videos!
Thank you
Wow. I was completely shocked to hear Ramit Sethi. I totally got sucked into his whole marketing spiel and bought his super expensive course (desperation was high so I put it on a payment plan) when I couldn’t afford it and it was an enormous waste of money. I keep my login just to remind myself not to fall for online scams in the future. 😒
....in the end, it is your money and it is your life...:)
In our family I am partly the problem. My husband thinks I spend way too much money every month. He was trying to figure out where our money was going. But he wasn’t adding in groceries and gas. Then realized I wasn’t the only one spending too much money. I do have a clothes no shoes obsession. And I always have. I just need to tone it down some. My granddaughter is graduating this month. I have ordered a lot of dresses. I’m taking some back. Gave one to my daughter. And I have more coming. But if they don’t fit, they will go back too. I’m just trying to find a nice dress or some nice pants to wear. I need to practice what you did. Because I do buy a lot every month. Some of the stuff I buy is for the house. But I’m not sure we need everything.
Thats why we decided to move to cheaper state. Less expenses on piving and more time for travel
great video thank you!
This was a great video Christina!! Very helpful. I’m trying to get out of debt and it is a struggle 😅
I love all your content for many reasons but one of the most unique to your channel perks is the random Simpsons clips 😂❤
“It's just hard not to listen to TV: it's spent so much more time raising us than you have.” applies so much 😂
Love that blazer color on you!
Excellent video!
Hey ✌️ Super encouraging to hear your journey and the healing process. I thought I would ask which budgeting app/tool/website you used?
Every dollar!
Hi, what software do you recommend? I'm just starting.
Hey, which bodies can you recomment? 😊
do you have a podcast?
Is it me or this video has no audio?
It def has audio!
First❤👍🌼😁😉
I need help, I am a shopaholic!
These are some Estj issues :)
Ha! You nailed it! 😉
@@Christinamychas ❤️
"everyone has debt" nup. This is a western mentality. Dabbling in credit and interest? Leave it out
I've never had debt, I live in Canada for 19 years. USSR for 24 years before that. I've been extremely poor my entire life and permanently disabled now. Never ever would I be so irresponsible that I'd take on debt, there's no excuse!
I gotta admit I was not wise with managing finance in my 20's especially after graduating from grad school and getting my first job. I was paying monthly student loans and told myself I'll be able to pay it off faster when I get a better paying job, yet I spent a big portion of my money on shopping without caring to save since I wasn't making very much. I didn't save a whole lot when I got a higher paying job even though I managed to save some, but was still paying monthly student debt and it's gotten to a point where I asked myself if I'll live my life forever with debt even though I had resources and a good stable job. I got serious and took on a side hustle that helped me earn more and I put my foot down to budget and not touch anything I earned from my side hustle, while reducing my spending on clothes and other things that I didn't need. Within 1.5 yr of my side hustle + my day job, I paid off my student loans. Earlier this yr, I quit my day job and made my side hustle my full time job. It's life changing when I'm able to do this, but I wish I could've done so earlier. As an entrepreneur, I'm more mindful of my spending since I don't have a fixed income, but I learn that I am in control of my finances if I put my full effort into it. I still like nice things and treat myself, but do so much more responsibly now.
Just downloaded EveryDollar and set up an account. I don’t have very much income, and I have been living beyond these means. Funny how this works at varying income levels. I had created an Excel document about 2 weeks ago, but frankly, I didn’t find it that inspiring. Maybe an app (and your suggestions) will help me finally keep track of everything. And spend where I should.
Doing a no-buy year really helped me retrain my brain and address the dopamine effect I was getting from shopping. I set a goal with deadlines for certain financial benchmarks to work towards. It’s hard, but I’m learning that consistency is key. Great tips! Love your channel!
Absolutely!! Congrats on your progress!
I think that having your debt paid off takes away so much guilt! If you work VERY hard to pay off your debt, then I think that you are so much more careful to not allow yourself to go back there! For me, I am ALMOST debt free! So close I can almost taste it. I do allow myself a “treat” now every so often without feeling guilty! But, it is a rare treat and done purposefully in the planned budget! Thanks for all you are doing to help make people aware of debt!
This is timely for me. I am starting my second week of retirement and I am feeling a bit anxious about money. I have been saving for years as well as tracking my spending, so I am prepared in theory. This is a good reminder to revisit the budget and carefully watch my spending as I adjust to my new phase of life.
If you have a lower income and a Starbucks addiction, cutting out your caffeine habit really does have the power to change your life. I used to spend over $300/month @ Starbucks and now I save/invest that money. It can truly be the difference between going into your overdraft and living paycheque to paycheque each month and paying interest vs. saving $ and making interest. When you have a lower income it really can make a difference although I have seen quite a few RUclipsrs dismiss this idea... I think going to Starbucks or other fancy coffee shops is too expensive for someone making lower-moderate income. But I can see if you make a lot more money it doesn't have as much of an effect on one's budget.
I love your videos btw! I watch every week.
100%. I love Starbucks...but not the $5-7 per cup attached going to the coffee shop and have it made for me. Add that up daily and extrapolate monthly/yearly- holy smokes! Buying a huge bag of it at Costco...it goes on sale often for $19 a huge bag, keeps my bank balance happy and my daily *need* for good coffee satisfied. I grind my beans and my coffee maker magically has it made for me when I wake up because it has a timer. I drink a cup when I get ready for work and make some extra to bring in my car. Perfection!
@@nursescientist2520 Ah yes. Good for you finding a way to make it cheaper at home! Unfortunately for me it always felt like it had to be Starbucks. Nothing quite satisfied me like their Chai Lattes did. I decided to quit caffeine altogether though to keep me from getting sucked back in. Quitting caffeine has helped my life in so many ways.
3 months savings (4 months at the max.) would get you an excellent coffee machine (we are talking almost barista quality, and wonderful and easy to make milk foam). Which should last you for 10 years.
I had read Ramit Sethi's book, but it didn't click, about having a guilt free spending fund until I heard him on Mel Robbin's podcast last week. Figuring out your normal monthly budget plus 15% (just in case) then pay into your savings and E funds, then you can have guilt free spending. I don't know why, but this is a game changer! I felt so bad about every little thing I spend on that wasn't necessary that it was getting to be an issue. Then you mentioned the dopamine book, and I feel like that's going to be a game changer for another issue I'm having. Positive changes are coming, I can just feel it! Thank you. ♥
HI, I've been following your channel because I use to have the same buying behaviors as you used too. I find your videos really inspiring, helpfull and non-restrictives/realistics. I've been out of depts since a year and my car is finally paid! Thank you for helping people to get focused on their goals and wishes.
:)
Thank you for saying you're not going to come on here and say the reason why you're broke is because you buy Starbucks amd have a Netflix account. By the way, I don't engage in either of these and there is usually no comment when a bunch of us say this. Some RUclipsrs act like refraining from these things is going to net someone massive hoards of cash savings...🤦So, thank you for not being one of these types...
Tjis video is incredibly important amd i think many of us can relate
You dont know how much I appreciate this video, thanks!!
Thank you for this honest and sincere video.
Omg I was going to say “this sounds exactly like Ramit” 😂 His podcast has really opened my eyes to how easy finance could be. Loved this video!
Thank you, you have inspired me to think about my relationship with food and applying your steps change how I eat.
Thank you for this video 🖤
Currently starting a no-buy year, send me good luck, its been a bit hard. Thanks Christina for your channel, its helping me a lot ✨❤️
I think it’s so wonderful to see you being a confident young woman in comparison to your older videos that you sprinkle in, the way your whole style, body language and attitude changed, truly inspiring to someone who’s 19 right now, thank you for also being honest with us and showing that you made mistakes too and also for including material based saving goals, such as designer bags, since priorities can be different and bashing one or the other wouldn’t help anyone get anywhere, wishing you the best ❤
Excellent ! Kudos to you, Christine ! Thanks for the inspiration ! Liz
congratulations on being debt free. that really is impressive and amazing. i never had debt cause i was privileged enough to have help from my parents with paying for college but also i didnt continue with my medical trajectory cause yeah medical schooling certainly is expensive. but its sad for all these kids with this debt hanging over their heads and im not surprised if so many of my generation have depression and anxiety and health issues, the debt threat is not cool, and interest on top of that is like next level evil
Thank you for this. It was an honest, vulnerable and emotional look at money management. Very much appreciated.
Thanks so much for this video, it was great, I'm newly 'debt free' and will read those books you recommended in this video to help me move forward! Thanks so much!
Congrats on being debt free. We need to teach how to manage money. Not everyone grows up with a good example.
I truly respect your honesty. it's a wonderful trait..
❤❤