Another gem 💎 Dr. Denise you are amazing. Keep up the good work. Forever grateful to you 🙏🏼 You have no idea how much your videos have helped me. I am getting so emotional right now. Thank you.
Thank you 🙏🏻 it’s messages like this that keep me doing what I do. There was a time when (even knowing what I know) I got lost in a Toxic Relationship. Reminds me of the frog in the water and how slowly and insidiously the darkness creeps in. #nomorenarcs 💜
I've been no contact 100% since December. I have a new phone number, new everything. No FB, social media. Only RUclips. My bday is in March. If he even breathes my way, I won't respond. Before going NC, I informed everybody about him. They want nothing to do with him. I am no contact for Life. Thank you, for your videos! xo
You are correct. They are NOT comfortable in their own skin - they cannot stand to be alone for even a few minutes...functional alcoholism, taking pills, fiddling with their phones, reading negative news articles, surfing the inter web... I feel sorry for them.
My Narc waited years between hoovering. I have discovered it was when he was always low on fuel. He has hoovered about every 6 to 10 years. No more. I have wised up. Just beware, they do not change and they can hoover at any point in your life.
Thank you. Thankfully he has left me alone since December but he pops up every now and again. Hit home with the comment about N's not being able to sit in stillness with their own feelings / thoughts...the ex was obsessed with making lists, keeping spreadsheets, cleaning, organizing, he told me about counting in his head during walks...just couldn't stand just to be. Now I understand why he was so restless.
I took charge and left (mind you, I had no idea it was going to happen when it did). I did not plan my exit, just got so fed up with the abuse (an in particular act of abuse that bolted me upright, and out the door). I went no contact: read books & attended counselling while my phone lit up like a Christmas tree. I learned about hoovering & narcissistic injury. My intent was to be in a place of peace (and away for good). He was relentless, but I resisted. I get why people question why they are not being hoovered b/c time was spent with ‘these things’. There is satisfaction in knowing they lost you. I would never ever ever recommend trying to have a reasonable mature conversation with these dolts, but regaining control is priceless - you are the captain now! I think we are all experts having survived the nightmare known as narcissistic abuse. Peace love care to all 💙
Dr Denice, this is my first time seeing one of your videos and I promise you that EVERYTHING that you said is the absolute truth! I’m currently divorcing my spouse of 24 years and you are right about EVERYTHING you said 🙌🏿🙌🏿🙌🏿🙌🏿
I am a co parent. It is easier to let them hoover and respond quietly that it cant be fixed. No contact just hurts your kids. You have to heal get strong enough to weather the storm once again. Just keep in your mind that it is 90% lies. It's very very hard and wouldn't recommend it unless you know 100% your heart is healed.
you know what's scary, you can't get far enough away - I went no contact July 4th, 2016 where I lived was a small town, I would run into him frequently, this January I moved to another state, and I am scared that somehow he will show up, I know that it is fear, but nonetheless that is how strong the damage is
Nancy Caccioppo I still watch for the Nex’s vehicle, as I live in the same city, though in another location. No need to risk contact. I passed by him in a small strip mall in November of 2017, without talking to him. I smiled as I passed him, thinking “I used to live with this man and now I DON’T!” The smile was the result of knowing that his negative influence was no longer present in my daily life. Caution is important. If you are still fearful, perhaps EMDR therapy will help ease the trauma from the relationship. It has done wonders for my healing! Blessings!
Thank you. I don’t get the “why isn’t s/he hoovering?” It’s as if not being hoovered is a bad thing, that the narcissist doesn’t care enough to hoover the individual! I’m happy to be no contact with the Nex. The time spent being confused and upset about him was enough pain for a lifetime! It helps to have validation from someone who has experienced similar behaviors from a significant other/spouse. Thank you. Blessings!❤️
I know what you are saying and yet many victims go through a period of confusion and ambivalence as they go through the process of breaking away. If an abusive ex leaves a person alone and never swoops back around for hoovering, one should consider themselves incredibly fortunate because that doesn't happen very often. N's and other emotional abusers are all about control and they work very hard to convince themselves that their "once-victim" is still under their control and influence. What a joy it can be to not give the abuser that satisfaction. Thank you Nettonya for taking the time to leave a post.
Dr. Denise Dart The Nex was a great teacher for me. I have great empathy for his condition, yet do not wish to be in his presence. For all I know, he’s busy with his life, new “supply”, health issues, whatever. I made it clear to him before leaving that I am DONE! His experience of me is that I am true to my word, and have a “don’t mess with me!” attitude. My experience of him is that he is too lazy to do much. I’m totally okay with that! Thanks, again. Blessings!❤️
Yes Dr. Denise you are amazing...you keep it simple yet cover what's necessary. This emotional Vampire thing got my attention just now. I keep going back for more verbal abuse from my brother...I get clear that I have to continue my own recovery and then I start to feel sorry for him. I will continue learning with the help from your videos that are here when ever we need them. Blessings
I have been free of my narcissist for 9 months now, and I feel happier than I have ever felt. After 14 years of being dumped, being hovered, been love bombed, being ignored, then being dumped again, I have finally moved on. I no longer give a damn. There has been attempts at hovering, but I was able to ignore. Being ignored for the first time in 14 years, brought on a deep depression within him. The experience has left me stronger and spiritually awakened. It is me who has won on this occasion. So for anyone going through this. Please leave ... its hard to begin with .. but time heals and you move on ... and never look back. More importantly learning to forgive this person and have compassion for their unhappy lives, helps to rid yourself of all resentment. Forgiveness however, isn’t going back to the person, but ... letting go!!
Wow!! You are on point & God made me click this video. The person (w/NPD) that I used to be involved with hasn’t text me since Sept. & before that May. It’s February….I’ve been no contact back for over a year. Today he writes “I miss my friend” It did bring back emotions, but I now know this is a Hoover maneuver…at least I’m pretty sure. I text nothing….I needed this video, thank you!! Gonna watch it again. I am that kind, loving person you described.
Tara, glad to found this video helpful 💜 Try substituting the word “supply” for “friend” in that message you received. You may want to consider if it makes sense to block this person to protect yourself. Keep being that loving person you are with boundaries to care for yourself and your loving heart. 💜
@@DrDeniseDart Thank you so much. That’s a good idea. I know I should block him but Idk why I don’t. I’m not going to answer though b/c I know it’s a trap. I’m not any other social media so that’s not an issue. He’s never found me on here.
There was a time in my own life when I struggled to block access. It was a scary thing to do at the time but also so incredibly freeing. I took back the reigns this person once held. 💜
@@DrDeniseDart Thank you for sharing. I appreciate that very much, I have always been a person to want to help others. Although I have managed to not pursue or answer the person I was involved with. I would like to help him. I would like to simply send him a link to a resource. The person I was involved with is a black man (not that it matters) but the resource is also a black man & I thought he might respond well to the resources YT channel. I am super white lol. The resource is “self proclaimed narcissist who has been in psychotherapy for the last four years.” The YT channel is Lee Hammond, Could you check this resource out? May be helpful for some of your patients. Would you advise I send him this link & nothing else??
Wow, this describes exactly what I am going through. After 8 years, I finally moved out, now he is showing up at my new apartment unannounced, leaving old gits at my doorstep, and texting me to talk saying he is changed and doesn't want me to move on and wants to get married and get me pregnant, when 3 months ago he was completely against all of that. I don't know what to do, no contact hasn't worked, and I still feel like I need to help him when he gets depressed looking for help. I have a new boyfriend and he is distraught.
Its been 4 months without the narcissist and hes with the new supply. I caught him cheating and I let him there. There is still.no apology and closure from him but he messages me with nonsense as if nothing happened..i cant still remove the hope in me that someday he will change.
Dear Dr., You have a very soothing voice. Yep I'm damaged... But how important learning about this stuff is, and how it can help people believe in their own productivity, skills, and talent, and use caution to steer clear of the temptation and tricks of dangerous, harmful, parsitic people. Especially covert narcissists and the Dark Triad type.
how they can tesz rhe watter if we bloked tham on the first place? no kontakt means, bloking, dalting and removing. everything else is never ending story.i ve been there 5 times. Not anymore. Two months now, feeling much happier
The actions never match what they say. That is the biggest thing I hold onto. I am trying to navigate coparenting or should i say counter parenting. The gaslighting and projections are insanity. I can reinstate my boundaries 100x I get the "I respect your boundaries but..." and then continue to do the boundary breaking and gaslighting. After realizing the phone conversations were nothing to do with our child, calls during our childs school/daycare and threatening me I shut it down. Then manipulating the texts, I am willing to discuss things for our child, cue the phone attempt/boundary breaking once again. I repeat NO we can discuss in text no phone contact. Suddenly he ghosts and doesnt seem interested in that conversation he was just willing to have 2 seconds ago. Most recently when he realized I was firm on this boundary, he tried manipulating and forcing direct contact. Suddenly a year of doing etransfers for underpaying child support he demands "from now on for my safety I will give you a cheque for paper trail". No, you will not control and manipulate when I can recieve child support and make me come to you to break my boundaries and force direct contact on your terms. Dispite me stating "etransfer is a paper trail out of the same account if you were to do cheque that doesnt require direct contact" there was no recognition of this contradiction. The reply "I already ordered the cheques".or "if you will not accept the $600 (That is underpayment) then we can do joint custody" passive aggressive. Joint custody involves more then making an appearance every 2 weeks or month 🤦♀️ Why not step up and do both 🤷♀️ Who suffers the children! rediculous games. Therapy was the saving grace in understanding what this is, the dangers, and putting up boundaries. They helped remove some of the cognitive dissonance and brain fog. Sure I have PTSD aftermath, but the hypervigilence has made me much more aware of what is happening and the need for strict boundaries. I triggered all this filing a claim regarding financial abuse that was real and the primary source of unanswered questions in the relationship. He came out of the ghosting phase quick. "You forget all i've done for you, all the things I shouldered" No... rent/bills coming out of one account exclusively is reality. Mail redirected and going to another address is reality. I've threatened the facade, I can feel his desperation. Thats the problem with creating a triangulated web, the web starts to break down at some point.
I broke up with my ex narc in October. He married the new supply Christmas day in Vegas. I had tried to warn her to no avail. I have blocked him on everything and am FINALLY starting to feel a bit better with him not being SO attached to my psyche. Last Friday I came home to see my old couch that I had given him on my driveway. No note or anything. What on earth does that mean? I did not respond in any way. Just pushed it into my garage and went about my business. ALthough I admit I was a bit shaken by the fact he had been at my house. Was this in some way a hoovering technique to see if I would reach out to him? Just confused by it...
Oh yes, classic Hoovering. Reach out enough to cause confusion, violate your boundaries and then say nothing. How about the inconvenience this may have caused you...it speaks volumes.
What could you do if the narc on your birthday pops up and tries to Hoover you by handing you a gift in front of other people but you have been no contact with the narc. Thoughts?
Thank you for this ❤. Mine contacts me at random intervals but within 2 months. I have him completely blocked and even changed my number. I remember when I didn't have him fully blocked he would try to contact me. If I ever make the mistake to unblock he's first to notice. I am almost 7 months no contact and he will hoover whenever he feels he sees an opportunity. I ignore anything and everything he says. I'm glad to be away but my only concern is when will the hoovering ever stop considering he has supplies.
In many cases the answer is "YES"....if given the opportunity. Your best defense is to remove any and all opportunities and simply ignore anything that slips through the cracks.
I'm in a bit of cognative dissonance/ denial?? How can I be sure he was a narcissist? So many characteristics are what he had, but I always question, maybe I'm really not a likeable woman. Ugh
What happens if i pressed charges against my kids father (the narc) for being physically/emotionally abusive. I also got a restraining order against him for the safety for me and our children we have in common. Do you think he will ever Hoover me again?
Isabella, that depends on the person and how vindictive he is. Some move on, others just won't let it go and are intent on regaining some measure of control, whether through positive or negative behavior, it really doesn't matter. In the end it's all about control and a very dangerous dynamic.
Dr. Denise Dart ive been getting weird calls from a private number late at night around the same time. I answer and no one says anything. I'm 100% sure it is him. I plan on changing my number
Another option is to simply not pick up calls from numbers you don’t recognize and never answer a blocked call. If it’s important the person can leave a message. If it’s him and he leaves a message that a violation is the restraining order which should be immediately reported.
Dr. Denise Dart yes. I wish he would just come out and say its him. I feel he needs to be locked up. He's a very scary/dangerous person. Along with being a narc he is diagnosed with bipolar disorder and untreats his mental illness. He drinks and does drugs to substitute for his meds. I have his family contacting me regarding my kids asking if i need or want anything for them mind you they haven't spoken to me in years. Flying monkeys!
If you have concerns about physical safety and him knowing where you live I would consider reporting the calls to the police. Violating a restraining order is grounds for arrest. Please don't hesitate to take whatever steps that might be necessary to protect yourself and your children.
Mediation generally doesn’t work with a Narcissistic person. They want to win at all cost and will lie, cheat and do anything to make that happen. The settlement conference was ridiculous but I tried. We were in separate rooms.
creepy I know better after ten years abuse. yes my birthday is Coming up April 2018 god will I'll be 60 he has mentioned my birthday he has plans for that day. mine you I discarded this evil have my own place my own life. he hate me have told me though ten years of marriage. I'm In divorce court proceedings April 7, the date I got married Will be the same date divorced.
Another gem 💎 Dr. Denise you are amazing. Keep up the good work. Forever grateful to you 🙏🏼 You have no idea how much your videos have helped me. I am getting so emotional right now. Thank you.
Thank you 🙏🏻 it’s messages like this that keep me doing what I do. There was a time when (even knowing what I know) I got lost in a Toxic Relationship. Reminds me of the frog in the water and how slowly and insidiously the darkness creeps in. #nomorenarcs 💜
I've been no contact 100% since December. I have a new phone number, new everything. No FB, social media. Only RUclips. My bday is in March. If he even breathes my way, I won't respond. Before going NC, I informed everybody about him. They want nothing to do with him. I am no contact for Life. Thank you, for your videos! xo
Yes!!
Dr. Denise Dart Amen. It feels so good to be over him. So good! Thank you. xo
You are correct. They are NOT comfortable in their own skin - they cannot stand to be alone for even a few minutes...functional alcoholism, taking pills, fiddling with their phones, reading negative news articles, surfing the inter web... I feel sorry for them.
My Narc waited years between hoovering. I have discovered it was when he was always low on fuel. He has hoovered about every 6 to 10 years. No more. I have wised up. Just beware, they do not change and they can hoover at any point in your life.
Thank you. Thankfully he has left me alone since December but he pops up every now and again. Hit home with the comment about N's not being able to sit in stillness with their own feelings / thoughts...the ex was obsessed with making lists, keeping spreadsheets, cleaning, organizing, he told me about counting in his head during walks...just couldn't stand just to be. Now I understand why he was so restless.
I took charge and left (mind you, I had no idea it was going to happen when it did).
I did not plan my exit, just got so fed up with the abuse (an in particular act of abuse that bolted me upright, and out the door).
I went no contact: read books & attended counselling while my phone lit up like a Christmas tree. I learned about hoovering & narcissistic injury. My intent was to be in a place of peace (and away for good).
He was relentless, but I resisted.
I get why people question why they are not being hoovered b/c time was spent with ‘these things’. There is satisfaction in knowing they lost you. I would never ever ever recommend trying to have a reasonable mature conversation with these dolts, but regaining control is priceless - you are the captain now!
I think we are all experts having survived the nightmare known as narcissistic abuse.
Peace love care to all 💙
Dr Denice, this is my first time seeing one of your videos and I promise you that EVERYTHING that you said is the absolute truth! I’m currently divorcing my spouse of 24 years and you are right about EVERYTHING you said 🙌🏿🙌🏿🙌🏿🙌🏿
Thank you for this podcast........we all need to have this reinforcement.
You’re welcome. Thanks for listening 💜
I am a co parent. It is easier to let them hoover and respond quietly that it cant be fixed. No contact just hurts your kids. You have to heal get strong enough to weather the storm once again. Just keep in your mind that it is 90% lies. It's very very hard and wouldn't recommend it unless you know 100% your heart is healed.
Spot on! Well said! Thank You!
I love all your videos. You are awesome and your message resonates.....This is exactly where am at....Thank you
you know what's scary, you can't get far enough away - I went no contact July 4th, 2016 where I lived was a small town, I would run into him frequently, this January I moved to another state, and I am scared that somehow he will show up, I know that it is fear, but nonetheless that is how strong the damage is
I understand, keep claiming your power every day. If he did ever cross your path gray rock works wonders. No niceties, just self-care. 💜
Nancy Caccioppo
I still watch for the Nex’s vehicle, as I live in the same city, though in another location. No need to risk contact.
I passed by him in a small strip mall in November of 2017, without talking to him. I smiled as I passed him, thinking “I used to live with this man and now I DON’T!”
The smile was the result of knowing that his negative influence was no longer present in my daily life.
Caution is important.
If you are still fearful, perhaps EMDR therapy will help ease the trauma from the relationship. It has done wonders for my healing!
Blessings!
yes I've gotten over my narc husband. he seen me with a knew gentleman and he went in deranged rage.
Thank you.
I don’t get the “why isn’t s/he hoovering?” It’s as if not being hoovered is a bad thing, that the narcissist doesn’t care enough to hoover the individual!
I’m happy to be no contact with the Nex. The time spent being confused and upset about him was enough pain for a lifetime!
It helps to have validation from someone who has experienced similar behaviors from a significant other/spouse. Thank you.
Blessings!❤️
I know what you are saying and yet many victims go through a period of confusion and ambivalence as they go through the process of breaking away. If an abusive ex leaves a person alone and never swoops back around for hoovering, one should consider themselves incredibly fortunate because that doesn't happen very often. N's and other emotional abusers are all about control and they work very hard to convince themselves that their "once-victim" is still under their control and influence. What a joy it can be to not give the abuser that satisfaction. Thank you Nettonya for taking the time to leave a post.
Dr. Denise Dart
The Nex was a great teacher for me. I have great empathy for his condition, yet do not wish to be in his presence.
For all I know, he’s busy with his life, new “supply”, health issues, whatever. I made it clear to him before leaving that I am DONE! His experience of me is that I am true to my word, and have a “don’t mess with me!” attitude. My experience of him is that he is too lazy to do much.
I’m totally okay with that!
Thanks, again.
Blessings!❤️
Yes Dr. Denise you are amazing...you keep it simple yet cover what's necessary. This emotional Vampire thing got my attention just now. I keep going back for more verbal abuse from my brother...I get clear that I have to continue my own recovery and then I start to feel sorry for him. I will continue learning with the help from your videos that are here when ever we need them. Blessings
I have been free of my narcissist for 9 months now, and I feel happier than I have ever felt. After 14 years of being dumped, being hovered, been love bombed, being ignored, then being dumped again, I have finally moved on. I no longer give a damn. There has been attempts at hovering, but I was able to ignore. Being ignored for the first time in 14 years, brought on a deep depression within him.
The experience has left me stronger and spiritually awakened. It is me who has won on this occasion. So for anyone going through this. Please leave ... its hard to begin with .. but time heals and you move on ... and never look back. More importantly learning to forgive this person and have compassion for their unhappy lives, helps to rid yourself of all resentment. Forgiveness however, isn’t going back to the person, but ... letting go!!
Wow!! You are on point & God made me click this video. The person (w/NPD) that I used to be involved with hasn’t text me since Sept. & before that May. It’s February….I’ve been no contact back for over a year. Today he writes “I miss my friend” It did bring back emotions, but I now know this is a Hoover maneuver…at least I’m pretty sure. I text nothing….I needed this video, thank you!! Gonna watch it again. I am that kind, loving person you described.
Tara, glad to found this video helpful 💜 Try substituting the word “supply” for “friend” in that message you received. You may want to consider if it makes sense to block this person to protect yourself. Keep being that loving person you are with boundaries to care for yourself and your loving heart. 💜
@@DrDeniseDart Thank you so much. That’s a good idea. I know I should block him but Idk why I don’t. I’m not going to answer though b/c I know it’s a trap. I’m not any other social media so that’s not an issue. He’s never found me on here.
There was a time in my own life when I struggled to block access. It was a scary thing to do at the time but also so incredibly freeing. I took back the reigns this person once held. 💜
@@DrDeniseDart Thank you for sharing. I appreciate that very much, I have always been a person to want to help others. Although I have managed to not pursue or answer the person I was involved with. I would like to help him. I would like to simply send him a link to a resource. The person I was involved with is a black man (not that it matters) but the resource is also a black man & I thought he might respond well to the resources YT channel. I am super white lol. The resource is “self proclaimed narcissist who has been in psychotherapy for the last four years.” The YT channel is Lee Hammond, Could you check this resource out? May be helpful for some of your patients. Would you advise I send him this link & nothing else??
U are a great understandable speaker ..make it easier to listen
Wow, this describes exactly what I am going through. After 8 years, I finally moved out, now he is showing up at my new apartment unannounced, leaving old gits at my doorstep, and texting me to talk saying he is changed and doesn't want me to move on and wants to get married and get me pregnant, when 3 months ago he was completely against all of that. I don't know what to do, no contact hasn't worked, and I still feel like I need to help him when he gets depressed looking for help. I have a new boyfriend and he is distraught.
Brandy, change doesn’t happen over night. As much as you’d like it to be different. It’s important to remember that you are not his therapist.
Thanks Dr , You are helping me more than I can express it to you in words...so just Thank You!
❤Love
Its been 4 months without the narcissist and hes with the new supply. I caught him cheating and I let him there. There is still.no apology and closure from him but he messages me with nonsense as if nothing happened..i cant still remove the hope in me that someday he will change.
Dear Dr., You have a very soothing voice. Yep I'm damaged... But how important learning about this stuff is, and how it can help people believe in their own productivity, skills, and talent, and use caution to steer clear of the temptation and tricks of dangerous, harmful, parsitic people. Especially covert narcissists and the Dark Triad type.
how they can tesz rhe watter if we bloked tham on the first place? no kontakt means, bloking, dalting and removing. everything else is never ending story.i ve been there 5 times. Not anymore. Two months now, feeling much happier
The actions never match what they say. That is the biggest thing I hold onto. I am trying to navigate coparenting or should i say counter parenting. The gaslighting and projections are insanity. I can reinstate my boundaries 100x I get the "I respect your boundaries but..." and then continue to do the boundary breaking and gaslighting. After realizing the phone conversations were nothing to do with our child, calls during our childs school/daycare and threatening me I shut it down. Then manipulating the texts, I am willing to discuss things for our child, cue the phone attempt/boundary breaking once again. I repeat NO we can discuss in text no phone contact. Suddenly he ghosts and doesnt seem interested in that conversation he was just willing to have 2 seconds ago. Most recently when he realized I was firm on this boundary, he tried manipulating and forcing direct contact. Suddenly a year of doing etransfers for underpaying child support he demands "from now on for my safety I will give you a cheque for paper trail". No, you will not control and manipulate when I can recieve child support and make me come to you to break my boundaries and force direct contact on your terms. Dispite me stating "etransfer is a paper trail out of the same account if you were to do cheque that doesnt require direct contact" there was no recognition of this contradiction. The reply "I already ordered the cheques".or "if you will not accept the $600 (That is underpayment) then we can do joint custody" passive aggressive. Joint custody involves more then making an appearance every 2 weeks or month 🤦♀️ Why not step up and do both 🤷♀️ Who suffers the children! rediculous games. Therapy was the saving grace in understanding what this is, the dangers, and putting up boundaries. They helped remove some of the cognitive dissonance and brain fog. Sure I have PTSD aftermath, but the hypervigilence has made me much more aware of what is happening and the need for strict boundaries. I triggered all this filing a claim regarding financial abuse that was real and the primary source of unanswered questions in the relationship. He came out of the ghosting phase quick. "You forget all i've done for you, all the things I shouldered" No... rent/bills coming out of one account exclusively is reality. Mail redirected and going to another address is reality. I've threatened the facade, I can feel his desperation. Thats the problem with creating a triangulated web, the web starts to break down at some point.
I broke up with my ex narc in October. He married the new supply Christmas day in Vegas. I had tried to warn her to no avail. I have blocked him on everything and am FINALLY starting to feel a bit better with him not being SO attached to my psyche. Last Friday I came home to see my old couch that I had given him on my driveway. No note or anything. What on earth does that mean? I did not respond in any way. Just pushed it into my garage and went about my business. ALthough I admit I was a bit shaken by the fact he had been at my house. Was this in some way a hoovering technique to see if I would reach out to him? Just confused by it...
Oh yes, classic Hoovering. Reach out enough to cause confusion, violate your boundaries and then say nothing. How about the inconvenience this may have caused you...it speaks volumes.
KJ your decision to not respond was a good one. Keep your boundaries up and yourself safe 💜
Thank you for your response. I thought so but still don't understand the outcome he hoped to attain by doing this. Especially bc he is married now....
Perhaps just keeping that energetic connection open.
Gotcha... I understand. It just never ends with them.
But you might not know how painful it is to go no contact. Though it seems to be the only way to stop the abuser.
I got rid of Facebook completely and feel fantastic!
Good for you!!! 💜
What happens when is family?
What could you do if the narc on your birthday pops up and tries to Hoover you by handing you a gift in front of other people but you have been no contact with the narc. Thoughts?
Thank you for this ❤. Mine contacts me at random intervals but within 2 months. I have him completely blocked and even changed my number. I remember when I didn't have him fully blocked he would try to contact me. If I ever make the mistake to unblock he's first to notice. I am almost 7 months no contact and he will hoover whenever he feels he sees an opportunity. I ignore anything and everything he says. I'm glad to be away but my only concern is when will the hoovering ever stop considering he has supplies.
In many cases the answer is "YES"....if given the opportunity. Your best defense is to remove any and all opportunities and simply ignore anything that slips through the cracks.
It's very difficult when you have children. I have to see him because of him seeing my son. How do I do it?
We never married.
thank you
I'm in a bit of cognative dissonance/ denial?? How can I be sure he was a narcissist? So many characteristics are what he had, but I always question, maybe I'm really not a likeable woman. Ugh
What happens if i pressed charges against my kids father (the narc) for being physically/emotionally abusive. I also got a restraining order against him for the safety for me and our children we have in common. Do you think he will ever Hoover me again?
Isabella, that depends on the person and how vindictive he is. Some move on, others just won't let it go and are intent on regaining some measure of control, whether through positive or negative behavior, it really doesn't matter. In the end it's all about control and a very dangerous dynamic.
Dr. Denise Dart ive been getting weird calls from a private number late at night around the same time. I answer and no one says anything. I'm 100% sure it is him. I plan on changing my number
Another option is to simply not pick up calls from numbers you don’t recognize and never answer a blocked call. If it’s important the person can leave a message. If it’s him and he leaves a message that a violation is the restraining order which should be immediately reported.
Dr. Denise Dart yes. I wish he would just come out and say its him. I feel he needs to be locked up. He's a very scary/dangerous person. Along with being a narc he is diagnosed with bipolar disorder and untreats his mental illness. He drinks and does drugs to substitute for his meds. I have his family contacting me regarding my kids asking if i need or want anything for them mind you they haven't spoken to me in years. Flying monkeys!
If you have concerns about physical safety and him knowing where you live I would consider reporting the calls to the police. Violating a restraining order is grounds for arrest. Please don't hesitate to take whatever steps that might be necessary to protect yourself and your children.
I have a question. In your divorce did you have to face him in mediation ?
Mediation generally doesn’t work with a Narcissistic person. They want to win at all cost and will lie, cheat and do anything to make that happen. The settlement conference was ridiculous but I tried. We were in separate rooms.
creepy I know better after ten years abuse. yes my birthday is Coming up April 2018 god will I'll be 60 he has mentioned my birthday he has plans for that day. mine you I discarded this evil have my own place my own life. he hate me have told me though ten years of marriage. I'm In divorce court proceedings April 7, the date I got married Will be the same date divorced.
tx
❤