Pampering Paul Costs Him £9,200 A Year | FULL EPISODE | Spendaholics
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- Опубликовано: 10 фев 2020
- Season 3 Episode 4:
27-year-old Paul Scates works as a music promoter and events manager and has run up personal debts of 25,000 pounds. Lifestyle expert Jay Hunt shows Paul that his love of expensive food and drink is based on fancy labels as opposed to his true tastes, while psychological coach Benjamin Fry helps him comes to terms with his true feelings of responsibility he felt as a child towards his ill mother.
Can Jay Hunt and Benjamin Fry cure this shopaholic?
#Spendaholics
Jay Hunt and Benjamin Fry use shock tactics to confront .... with ... overspending, but can ... commit to going cold turkey for 7 days?
Spendaholics is a British TV series where the Spendaholics team tame out-of-control spenders! 
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Did a bit of Google-Fu here. Paul is now a mental health advocate (with his own Wikipedia page, no less!), has appeared on TV numerous times, and had his first book published in 2019.
The odd thing about these old shows is that a lot of the folks seem to have gone on to do quite well. Maybe these financial issues taught them early and the lessons stuck? Either way, glad to see Paul and others are doing well.
Rob Taylor oh i need to see that.
There was one about a Turkish actor who auditioned for musicals during the show who now teaches theater. Looks like he’s doing great.
What is his wixpedia name? I’d love to read up on him. Thank you in advance.
Here’s his episode
ruclips.net/video/GKneXtdMgP0/видео.html
And here’s a web site with info-not sure it’s his web site
commontheatre.co.uk/ahmetahmet
HermesLVDiva1976
Oops. See below.
I remember this time so well, I used to think this fashion would never date 😂😂. In contrast though the presenters haven’t. Goes to show sticking to a classic look is the way to go.
I almost gave up watching when I realised nothing was getting through to Paul, but he did turn things around and I am glad I persevered with the episode
Early 2000s British television feels like a whole other world from 2020 American television.
yes, but this tv serie can open eyes to many people who have the same problem.
Same thing with early 2000's American TV though. Watch some of it. It shows its age, lol.
To be fair, American TV in the early 2000s had some cringe-worthy stuff. I can remember growing up watching shows like My Super Sweet 16, From G to Gent, Pimp my Ride, and Queen Bees.
I honestly don’t get this comment. You are comparing television in the early 2000s to 2020? Makes no sense. Everything depends on the production budget.
He earns £20,000, spends £15,000 on drink, almost £10,000 on pampering, that is £5,000 over and not even including food rent travel costs, any basics. Wow!!
yep. his champagne bill alone is double my yearly income. and yet i don't have a penny of debt to anyone.
This was way before Instagram when people didn’t video everything! Imagine how much he would spend now 😩😂
Yeah 2020 version of these people would all be wannabe 'influencers' lol
That’s a very valid point
"I'm here for a good time, not a long time" AKA YOLO!
Very good attitude for ending up in massive debt while you're working and then crippling poverty in retirement.
Olly Smith wine expert has done well 🙂
Lol
Dude that bed is like 2 flat screen tv boxes with a blanket on top lmaoooo
Makes me laugh that I spent £9,250 a year on tuition fee's at drama school and he spends that much on material goods
But on the other hand, I'm glad he turned his life around and is now a mental health advocate :)
If you google Paul, what has happened in his past is totally to blame for what has happened to him as an adult.
Well, blame might not be the appropriate word, but it's apparently the emotional cause, and once he recognised it, he's been able to assume control over his life and not be driven by unregulated emotions and obsessions.
Time and again I find myself almost disliking the story subjects... until we find the true story.
This shows that we have to reserve judgement until we know the facts, and also don't assume we will always get them fully, nor necessarily have the right to all of them. The people on this show play a skilled game of enabling people to take control but giving them the self respect and motivation to empower themselves. Too often we suppress the less attractive elements of our lives, hoping it will just go away. But emotions are not like that. These series are just so valuable.
You know, I have been judging these parents as financial enablers, but then remembered some personal situations. It’s hard when a family member ask for drips and drabs of money, and then one day they owe you £20k. It’s really crazy how easy it happens. I feel for these parents and hope they get the strength to say no and help their children in a different way.
As a young mother who struggles with her mental health, I worry that my son will feel guilty or responsible for situations that are out of his control. Even though when I am sad I sure him and remind him it has nothing to do with him and redirect his attention to something more uplifting, I know my sadness will have an effect on my child. It is not debilitating,But it is something I struggle with and I hope my son is not too affected by.
The fact that you pay attention to how your behavior affects your son means you’re a good Mom and no one is perfect. Good job Mama ❤️
Hi Kris, l can totally relate to your concerns about your son. Iwas a single Mum and I also suffer mental health issues (sporadic chronic depression). l also worried constantly about the effects of my bad health on my two sons but as ranramos replied, the fact that you pay attention to it speaks volumes. My boys are now 25 & 27 and have turned out fantastic! Kind, considerate, generous & living men. xxx
Well, it could make him more kind and compassionate. The fact that you talk to him about things helps.
He lives in Somerset, but socialises in the West End?! That's a 2 1/2 hour journey for a few rounds of drinks!
I like Benjamin’s calm nature, but the tenacious links to parental issues is off-putting. Perhaps he should actually get qualified in Psychology and Counselling rather than this unqualified ‘Life Coach’ approach using pop-psychology
Agree. He always thinks it's the parents and tries to enforce things on them.
ArtJourneyUK He is in fact qualified and has achieved a wealth of experience and success in his life
I don't think he was very wrong. Paul had been sexually abused by a family friend. Benjamin obviously picked up on the anger, but not for the reason he though.
He is qualified, I’ve looked him up and he has all the credentials.
He's absolutely qualified and to be fair, the parents and upbringing is in 99%of the cases the problem.
Why does he remind me of mr g from summer heights high 😂
HAHAHAHAHAH trueeee
Annabelle dixen..... and annabelle died,
Exactly what I thought
What drives me mad here is that they say cold turkey is for NON ESSENTIALS... but they make them include travel to work and a food shop. They are essentials. Yes people can cut down but I’m watching them thinking.. the CT system doesn’t work :/
The essentials seem to only be stuff you can't make easy or much alteration to, I. E. Rent and bills. Travel to work, there are cheaper alternatives they're not using.
I felt bad for the girl who was given a cold turkey budget of 15.50 to include food! She just got others to pay, it was pointless.
They are going cold turkey on non essentials... so they could just give them 0 budget for non essential... but I think it makes more sense to give them a small budget including food and travel so they have to make the decision about what is important and what isn’t... I mean I spend £20 a week on food without trying too hard and most people get at least that as a budget so it’s not totally ridiculous
I thought that too as essential you get to work to earn the money.They should have given the minimum for travel such as bussing it instead of trains as cheaper if they take public transportation or fuel money. Even food is essential but the cold turkey cash should be for a week's grocery shop and not buying lunches out but making it at home and taking it with you.I remember watching this when it first came out. They should do a couple of specials with all the participants seeing how the show worked/failed for them and how it changed them if it did.They should also bring it back as with the recession and price hikes over the last year it's becoming increasingly harder to balance the 📚.
It works, because the subjects of each episode ends up self-aware and empowered. This is the result, don't worry so much about how the sausage is made the result is what counts.
I agree with you, but the exercise is mostly to get the participants to realize how much more they spending than necessary. They can ship for food, but are they smart shoppers? Do they have to drive to work or take public transportation. To me, that is the point of including those costs.
A show like this always reminds me to only use money and not to have credit card. More power #spendaholics
They are not evil if used correctly and payed off in full each month. I've had one for 6 years and never been charged a penny interest.
I pay everything with card, because otherwise I would loose track of where my money went. Never been in debt btw
You need a credit card to build credit for loans etc... they aren’t evil if used rationally. I’ve never been in debt, always saved.
@@dude988 I pay virtually exclusively by card too, but debit only. I can never spend money I don’t have.
Feel bad about my comment. I should have waited. I took on responsibility at an early age for my fathers happiness. It took me years to sort out the mental mess I ended up in.
I disagree. I think him having a mother who has a horrible disease has taught him that life is short and can be cruel so live for today ..
They always say to spend and pay bills within your income if I was 36 grand in debt I wouldn't sleep at night I would be shitting myself
The comment about crystal to his brother was low. His brother may like crystal as well but cannot afford it, and is more mature so does not buy what he cannot afford.
I’ve been binging on this show. I didn’t realize how much British people love champagne. I cannot believe how many people in these episodes drink bottles and bottles of champagne when they go out!
When I got married decades ago we figured out my budget for clothes and grooming. I found that skipping the makeup and cutting my own hair and wearing classic pieces instead of following fads saved enough to buy a new car. Currently shopping for the second one.
Good job and good luck 😃
Make up last for ever and ever and you can get cheap stuff that still looks fine, or even mid-range stuff that lasts for ever and looks good. I only wear make up if I’m going out or going to work (no longer with masks) so I wouldn’t be skipping on it
I don't have a car and out money in my mortgage. Mortgage free
The people who run this show are absolutely geniuses and true professionals. Their insights and strategies are equally consummate and incisive.
More importantly, their humanity and intrinsic decency and fairness shines through again and again. This is 'the best of British' in the truest sense; they simply really care.
I don't usually gush, but this is a justifiable exception.
Actually, I’m really disappointed after looking both Jay and Benjamin up. Benjamin was not a qualified therapist when this show was taped (he apparently is a psychotherapist now). He was a “psychological coach” and “self help writer that went through therapy.” Jay is not a lifestyle expert, but a TV producer with what it seems no financial background. I am hoping they had actual experts when they produced this show. It is good entertainment and most of the participants seemed to do well afterwards, but I feel like the hosts are frauds in a way.
At least he looks according to the money he spends on himself! It is seldom the case
He needs hobbies where he can socialise without spending a ton of money on alcohol. A sport or something.
Champagne taste, Lemonade money.
dilwyn thomas haha thats a good one
Koolaid money with no sugar
@@acrylbuddha5326 It's true.
Not sure he can even afford lemonade...
Just wanted to comment on the dog swimming at 30:37
My dog is obsessed with water and swimming. Always wants to join the ducks in the park🙄
Ewww the way he touches his cream in his bathroom.... I would never ever want a stranger putting their hands in my products...!
Emilia WowMuchFun please seek professional help. I mean this is a good way to help you!
Emilia WowMuchFun right?
His poor mum :( I don't think it s right for Benjamin to say Paul is punishing his mum for being ill, how much would that upset her? Bless
He said the same thing to someone else on this show. 😮
Blaming childhood trauma is Benjamin’s one trick pony. Linking Paul’s fear of heights with how he feels about his mother? Huh? Sometimes people just have phobias and they don’t necessarily have anything to do with your family, but are just things in your head. Someone else mentioned Benjamin’s approach as “pop psychology” and I totally agree.
What Benjamin completely ignores is that some of these people just never had financial education and their parents enable them financially. Sometimes it’s just that simple.
He definitely isn’t that afraid of heights if I was standing at the edge of the top ledge I would’ve been holding on for dear life and crying to not jump over
I thought the same thing! I wouldn't be able to stand up straight
Yes but that's just how you manifest fear. He's a bloke and he's manifesting differently. Kudos to him for mastering that and jumping.
Oh the days when you could smoke indoors....
wasn't that the pool where Mr Bean was at coz I remember the diving scene? :)
There's an INEWS article with the same name published June 30, 2023 that he is selling his house and moving to back his parents.
I would love to see him try to dance-fight someone lol
£60 for a haircut? 👀👀👀
Beautiful mother. Paul lives for perfecting his look. He needs to grow up. He needs to take total responsibility for himself.
How cool was it that his dad came out with him and was signing along???? Seems like he has really good parents.
Therapeutic episode 🙏🌟
Ahhh smoking inside pubs & clubs, those were the days!
He reminds me of a young Michael Palin
Oh goodness Paul's head movement at @49:33 🙈
£9200 up his nose
Capitalism totally needs a 'coming of age' ceremony in which people spend 6 months on an isolated but fertile island and have to literally fend for themselves by growing their own produce and raising their own livestock.
What a sweetie, can I adopt him
A Sweetie!? I can think of many descriptions for him, but sweetie is not one of them
I think he’s lovely as well
I just don't like that psychologist. He's always trying to put blame on a family member. His voice is almost hypnotizing. I feel the woman Jay could do this show so much better on her own. Paul drains energy from her.
I don't see it as blaming in a strict sense. Some of the familymembers is kind of enabling a grown up to remain in an irrosponisible childish place. To fix a problem you need to see the mechanism of it.
Benjamin was very off-putting with his leading questions and always blaming stuff on childhood trauma. I agree about his hypnotic voice - I feel like he would be the type of therapist that would plant fake memories in you, then I realized he wasn’t qualified at all. The first episode I watched, I was like what in the world is a “psychology coach?” I looked him up and when they taped this show, he was not a psychologist or a psychiatrist. He was a “self-help writer who has been through therapy.” What? No way he should’ve been giving people psychological advice. He’s now a psychotherapist, but I couldn’t find what school he went to and his degree even though he has a LinkedIn page. He looks like he doing well now so good for him. There is an actual psychologist they used in this show who I’ve only seen in two episodes, his name is Mark. You can tell he’s an actual psychologist versus Benjamin. Mark would ask open ended questions instead of suggesting why the person was behaving the way they were.
Good time costs a lot of money.
Dang this dude needs a reality check
Mr G from Summer Heights High
Feel the burn Paul
You can't spend it if you don't have it.
he’s very handsome (gorgeous!!!), I just looooove the English accent and he’s very well taken care of. Worth the money :-) although.... I’m sad to know his real trauma behind his spending...Not his mother, actually. He just played the game with Benjamin as not to reveal the true motive for his spending, as to say “ok ok, you’re right. It’s that!” ! But the truth is: A friend of the family abused him sexually since age 8. Horrible what they did to him. Debt was once up to 70.000 pounds! He’s now gay.
It’s clear then what underlying guilt Benjamin was trying to find. For what guilt the parents we’re paying and Paul was punishing his parents
What kind of a friend are you to reveal this, as if this is everybody's right to know?
'there is no absolute right to know this.
In fact, the parents still had the right to reveal according to his wishes and needs.
Awe come on, the Brother Mark, I do this and I do that, why can't you? And the parents, "Your brother's got a mortgage!" Not helpful!!!
Robbing Peter to pay Paul, I suppose.
I live like this and go college and not in debts and pay all bills myself. How is he in so much debts?? Well I don't own credit cards might explain it
lil shortee Greaves you are able to go to college after writing a sentence like that first one? 🤨
What a pretentious clod.
Delisions of grandeaur
Spends 535.35 a week makes 1800 a month. only 341.4 over a month. How is he in 36,000 debt!
Lived with parents. Only started to rent a flat. They bailed him out to to tune of £20,000.
535.35 on non-essentials! no rent included.
Credit cards and personal loans?
That amount doesnt include any bills, transport, food etc
@@laimamika137 it's probably cocaine
He is very immature
I'd (never) want to punish my parents :-)
Must be nice to have good parents
Nice try trying to convince us that the Brits invented sparkling wine. They didn’t. The oldest recorded sparkling wine predates Dom Pérignon and Merret by over a century. It is the Benedictine monks of the abbey of Saint-Hilaire near Carcassone who have that distinction.
Wow he really looks down on his brother doesn't he! "You are happy just drinking lager whereas I have the taste for crystal", right..... I think all of this was about competing with his brother not anything to with his parents.
Such an expert aren't you?
@@deborahcurtis1385 Hmm I bet you are a delight at parties, thats my expert opinion by the way.
ROFL I saw someone on the London tube and he said, 'you throw the best parties I've ever been to. Ever.' But that's not to the point is it? Your 'expertise' is not required for that assessment. I live in Australia and he recognised me. It was a good moment. I'm guessing those don't happen much to you, which is why the desperate need for YT highs.@@paulosullivan3472
@@paulosullivan3472 Listen mate, this vlog has been full of smart arss comments like yours with very little in the way of understanding. I posted appropriately for your smugness but the kid on work experience who is in charge of the vlog's social media thinks you're a serious wit!
You won't be invited to MY parties I'm giving you the tip!
@@deborahcurtis1385 So full of hate and vitriol, I feel sorry for you, your life must be a lonely one.
I don't think it was any form of subconscious aggression or anything toward parents. He was spoiled rotten, and loved it. Parents at fault, once again.
Do you always come in and oversimplify so you can pass judgement?
The situation was complex (as it is so often in real life) and his mother miscarried and lost a child, a very traumatic event. So she compensated and clung onto her other child, and this damaged him emotionally. It's not 'wrong' of her to do this it's both human and understandable. These days there is more emotional support available which is why we need to use those services according to need, and when we can.I thought he showed courage and emotional maturity to react as he did.
Guys a snob
IM A WOMAN so she should use more product big oops in 2020
His haircut is hideous 👺
oi, 15 years from now you'll say that about your haircut you have today
Such a little boy...... image no substance...... no muscle..... no resolve.... no discipline.... evidently no truth in him.... no math skills..... nothing in there at all.....
AHA... there it is.... over mothering, keeping him a BABY...... sorry about the dead child really..... now you have raised an adult baby..... all that under development will never ever ever be gotten past.....
Do you often hang around social media looking for an opportunity to denigrate people who are trying to face their, habits and improve themselves?
I find the hosts super passive aggressive. Tenta lady has huge financial issues for over spending in vain things so she should be the last person to advice someone