I remember asking my husband “ did you know I was slowly dying?” He said “ yes I did.” He knew and that was his goal. To totally break me. I was 26 yo and weighed 77#. I hadn’t been able to eat solid food for 6 months bc I’d throw up. He glowed. He loved knowing he had that power over me. He wanted me to die. He told me that. He died. I started over. That was 40 years ago. I grew up with a n mother. I’d ask her for help. I only got one phone call a week. ( all I was allowed). I was a prisoner of his. She refused to help me. But I survived. Fixing to have my 65 birthday. God protected me and rescued me. I live alone. I did marry again but divorced him ( another one) after 10 years. Never again. I’m happy alone.
It truly is demonic when they are malignant and psychopathic. Piercing blue eyes turn black. Many of us have seen it for real. Keep strong everyone. It is a spiritual battle.
@@salonsavy6476 I am not a religious person, as in a set religion, but I saw what I now call "demon eyes". This was when he would switch in an instant into violent assaults. An inhuman scream. Something very very dark.
My joanie had beautiful blue eyes...her most notable feature....and until now I didn't realize how they disappeared during the devaluing moments and during the ultimate discard! Yes! I did not recognize her in those moments. This video pulled the remaining evil spider webs off of me.
Here is what I said on my way out: " I'm sorry. I don't have the capacity for continued conversations with you. This boundary is for me and not against you. It's time for me to go. It was a pleasure. Take care." Then he got blocked across all platforms. It's been a month and I realize that the longer I go without talking to him the better I feel. I want to encourage you to get away and heal. It's awesome.
You cut them off with dignity. It's so tempting to launch on a huge tirade about their diabolical behaviour , but this will give them more supply and allow them to claim victim status. Best to keep our heads high and explanations to a minimum!
When you finally wake up, with no judgement to cloud your thoughts, with no revenge nor anger. You can see them, the spirits that have hold of them! It's in the eye's, smile and even the way they walk. When they know you know they start to walk funny, after all the tricks they use don't work they can't passively trigger you anymore, they walk funny, you will notice that that spirit jumps, you can see it in the walk. I know this sounds crazy but it's TRUE. You now see all of the toxic people for what they are. Most people are just trying to survive, and then you spot that one demon.
Don't tell them crap!!! They weren't telling you crap when you begged for their honesty. Let the knowledge be your secret weapon, and don't let the right hand know what the left hand is doing.
This had to b the worst mental illness on the planet . It is so sick so horendous so damaging and you just can’t wrap your head around it . You are changed forever after this . Only people that have been thru this can understand it . Your knowledge is so aligned with us survivors it’s incredible . We have no chance against these people once they have us that’s it your life will never b the same . It’s so sad and upsetting how many lives are getting destroyed by these devils in sheep’s clothing . God bless all of us xo
You have to earn that knowledge exposing it all over for free? Either way you gotta pretend you don't and play their Game regardless. I can't remember at the time but knew it all in great detail. You'll be outta there on half time of their last one.
A mental illness? Or are they a different Type of human? I saw pictures of one where the pupil of the eye is not in the middle of the iris but at the rim, like a chameleon. Look at pictures you got, they look different each time. No, they are not like us. But you can turn the spider into a fly and feed it to the ants if you know whats going on.
Just ghost them. If you confront them, they'll just tell you and anyone else that'll listen that you are crazy. And they will seem convinced that you are. There's also the chance you'll get triggered by their response and they grab the upper hand again as they know how to do so well...or even worse, that you start to doubt yourself all over again.
When you’re healed. You don’t give them energy any more. No more catering to a Narc. It’s even a waste of time to tell them that you know. Just leave them behind.
They are the only ones that are stupid. The only ones, who betray only themselves and are responsible for their own downfall, when they could‘ve chosen the light all this time
Prayer for a Narcissist All-Powerful Father, I pray for those who are battling narcissism in their lives. Help them overcome, by the power of the cross, their prideful focus on themselves. Help them to see that there is so much more this world has to offer than just caring about themselves. Help them to understand that they are not putting God first in their lives. When Your Son called the crowd to Him with his disciples, He said that if anyone would come after Him, let them deny himself and take up his cross and follow Him. Speak to them, Father, and show them that there is more to gain in following You than in seeking what this world has to offer. Only You can reveal the ultimate good that can free them, Lord. Please help them now. Amen.
When the narcissist 'knows you know' and when the narcissist even knows that your family dog knows...hmmm. My dog ..a beautiful retriever...kindest dog you could ever imagine. Wouldn't hurt a fly. Gave the narc a clear warning one afternoon while the narc was rough housing with our then young daughters next to a cast iron wood stove. I was afraid that the children may get hurt or bang their head's on the stove. I asked the narc to STOP. He refused to listen and kept it going. My dog went up to him barking and nipped his hand. From that day forward the narc started calling my dog "dumb". "A few bricks short of a load". Even the family pets aren't spared. My dog was protecting the children. Listen to your pets reactions to the narc. My children as well so loved that dog... But they were then hearing their father make fun of him. 'Anyone' any PET ..Who steps in to defend or protect the children from the endless manipulation from the narc is a target for abuse. Watch their 'actions'. The narc was getting the children riled up because he 'knew' how much that bothered me ..their mother. Listen to your intuition and don't ever doubt it 💚💌☕
Your dogs will be ignored completely or scoffed at with distain by the narc. Watch them closely, they are pet abusers. Even if they claim to like animals, its not true.
So true. Mine was always telling me about what people had done wrong to him. More like the other way around like a back to front projection. They are obsessed by their own victimhood.
@jayTee-zp1jn the good news is they always end up lonely, no friends,that's their karma for all the gaslighting, lying manipulation they've done to their victims over the decades. Keeps me smiling everyday
I lost a job due to one a narc with many psychological problems, Funny how God works, blessed me with higher paying work that I enjoyed immensely and since then , blessings keep coming. I have tested many since and their minions, not smart and very predictable. I still pray for them, God is Good!
I could literally write a book about my experience. One chapter would be how the trauma bond is harder to break Than any addiction. They used intermittent reinforcement to keep you entangled.
When my ex narcissist and I were watching the Amber and Johnny Depp trial, I kept mentioning how Amber Herd showed all the classic signs of being a narcissist. My ex asked if I thought he was a narcissist. Now as much as I wanted to say yes, I chose to say no. There are conversations with a narcissist that you have to be very conscience of, as the consequences could be very dangerous. I was grey rock, and didn't want all my hard work becoming dangerous. You have to be very strategic when going grey rock. It took 6 months and had to put up with a lot of narcissistic abuse, but it was worth it in the end. He discarded me 2 months ago 🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳💯
These people are EGI's 'elite' gender inverted freemasons/satanists ----------this 'trial' is a psyops to distract and brainwash --------------watch Dayz Of Noah -------Shaking My Head Productions --------Nicholson 1968---------Call For An Uprising ---Truth Shock TV -------and the transvestigation channels and be 'woke' from the satanic matrix!Bless
Yep faced with the HARD FACT I WAS DANCING WITH THE DEVIL ....BUT ALL THE TIME I KNEW THERE WAS SOMETHING SERIOUSLY WRONG & FOR THE LIFE OF ME I COULD NOT FIGURE OUT WHAT....OH I KNOW NOW HES LONG GONE....
Like lambs to the slaughter !!! We walked into these relationships pure souls , happy looking for love ❤️ came out the other end like we have been in a meat grinder a battlefield like no other scarred , damaged , abused 😡🥺
I settled a lawsuit against my covert narc psychiatrist. The very next one also could have been sued. Be careful who you turn to for help. They can fake empathy. They can have you picked up on a fictious charge for a mental health hold, over medicate, give unneeded electroshock, falsify records impacting your care moving forward, give you false derogatory DSM labels, etc. They will use your learned vulnerabilities against you and they are experts at gaslighting. My experience on YT under ds electroshock.
@@Winner1-c2u wow you are so right thanks for the heads up we must always b on guard and have what’s left of our minds switched in 💯....Thanyou and god bless u xo
I said the same thing to the N I was dating. I told him Jesus sees the demons inside of him. Of course that angered him and he told me I had demons inside of me and that Jesus knows it,. He would always throw my words back at me or use my words against me.
@@tanyadepoalo4312 Thats their Tactics !!. DARVO - Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim Offender. NARCS are on the Cluster B Spectrum. Check it out for a Light Bulb Moment
I’ve seen that look, that looking at you like you are a complete stranger. It was so unsettling. I still didn’t know what a narcissist was at that point. That took another month. He’s testing me now. He’s trying to see how much I know, but he knows I know more than I’m putting on. It’s scary. He’s plotting something. He’s doing these lying emotional dumps where he tries to make me out to be the narc. I’ve even gotten proof from mutual friends of his smear campaign beginning years ago. Many mini discards in the last ten years. It’s hard to believe a person can do this to you just because they are mentally unwell.
My friend was bffs with a narcissist. When I warned my friend, she passed it on to the narcissist, who started spreading slanderous lies about me to my friends. Instant and almost violent defense mechanism. My friend stuck with the narcissist for a couple years after that until the villain slept with my friend's boyfriend. She was DEVASTATED
My experience is a bit different with my COVERT Narc. Mother. At the time when I said "I had enough", she didn't stare back at me, but denied all bad things she's done behind me. Then, after I showed her proof, she still denied all, by saying "I've done it because I was MISUNDERSTAND you." She loves to use this reason, and I forgived her too many times, until all my "trust cards" ran out. After I go for no contact, I still need to try hard to against my own empathy for contacting her again & sometimes I thought that I made the wrong choice for blocking her messages. Now, already 4 years since no contact. The more I learn about Overt & Covert Narcissists, the more I become confidence that I made the right choice.
❤❤❤❤ so hard when it’s family or a parent.. not all of them are even on the cluster bee spectrum, but a lot of people from the boomer and silent generation were simply shut down and emotionally illiterate. It’s not always intentional manipulation or evil, but the effect on the children is pretty much the same, especially if they continue to not take responsibility for their actions or the damage that they did ongoing.
Well I decided not to tell him. I had this fear when I found out who he was. I got out when he began trying to control me. It took him years trying to maneuver Me. I am not easily dominated. I think he thought he was going to but then I got angry and he saw he was never going to control me. But the new sorce is 19:55 a door mat. I think maybe I was gone from him so long when I moved out of town that I can move away with no emotion like I did The times with him at family events. He is the father of my son so a little harder but my son does not live in the same state I do or his dad does not either. These people scare me and they should you all to! They are not stable. I want. Nothing to do with him and he is getting old now. He probably does not have that many years and had heart surgury so I can now get far away from him. I made the right move running ou t of town. However until I got on this site I still did not know how bad he was. My suggestion to anyone is still involved, get off the internet and get off the phone when iT rings! They really are black hearted Demons you have been associating with!! You cannot help them!!! Save yourself. You are a good person and you can find another good person if you just let go of evil!😢
Is it weird that i find your voice so soothing and calms me down, ill put you on my speaker while i do chores around my apt. And ill lay down and fall asleep to your speeches. ❤
I was fine it's been 6 months and then all of a sudden I got a flashback and I got depressed and I started crying so thank you for this video today I needed it peace and love
Awhile ago, when my now ex-wife admitted her cheating and infidelity, she did it with such a smug face and beaming confidence. Almost as if she now knew, that I knew and it didn't matter to her. She was smiling, had a smirk and was just so blasé about it. It was total surrender as she knew the next step was ME seeking a divorce- Her reaction showed that she was relieved to finally have the secret exposed. It hurt like hell to learn my wife was sleeping with another man (On our wedding anniversary no less, resulting in a pregnancy)..but she seemed to find an almost sickening humor in it....She ended up marrying him, but NOW wants a divorce from him and is softly Hoovering and breadcrumbing me about wanting to reconcile-----THEY ALWAYS COME BACK WHEN THE NEW SUPPLIES LIGHT BEGINS TO DIM-----HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
He started calling me stupid a year into the relationship and to this day insinuates that I'm stupid. When in all reality they are the one that is stupid and it's actually embarrassing that they don't see how other people see through them
I discovered he was a narc RIGHT after I got out but during the final discard -I finally pushed back and said I SEE WHO YOU ARE….but it was my soul talking because I had never challenged him like that before-I was just absolutely sick of all the BS-and I had the perfect OUT a couple of days away
Paula, you are absolutely right. At this point, my situation is very sensitive. My husband is elderly and a hoarder. He has been in assisted care for 8 months following crohn surgery, kidney stone surgery, cancer treatment and now he has diabetes, amongst other things. He is flying the coop tomorrow and going to go live with his brother. He wants a divorce and to sell the house so he can have his $$. It was either come home for me to take care of him or to his brothers. I've done some intense therapy for the last 8 months and I see right through him now. I feel like I was so naive for all these years. I don't dare call him out. He's nasty and I don't want to rock his boat until I am far far away and done with him. He has flying monkeys in place.. those he pulled out of the woodwork, because he doesn't have any real friends. Anyway... yes, it's important for me to keep my mouth shut right now.
Exactly! Act quietly don’t tell anybody what you are up to. Don’t give a last reunion, the last meeting because it would be that for you. Many controlling narcs attack when they figure out you are going to be gone. Save just in case. Best of luck
God bless yu and all will be well for you soon. keep your faith and all will be ok. I too, have had to let go of my daughters, probably never to see my grandchildren. They are so mean and I always sensed it but kept on trying. Not any more. Done!
As my sucked dry of life and now deceased enabling dad used to say about my narc mother behind her back.... (...."walk soft and stay out of sight"...).
It really can become a horrible and hostile situation. I remember after going no contact with my ex, we had one more financial situation to take care of. Though I didn't know about narcissism then, I knew him. He tried to con me by coming to my house, but I wouldn't let him in, everything he said to me was outside in front of our security camera. We had to meet at the bank in the end to get papers notarized. I made the appointment, so we didn't have to wait. He acted like such a childish idiot there that even our banker looked at me for questioning his behavior. I never even walked out of the bank with him and made the excuse that I had transaction to make with the teller. I knew him, he knew that, and it was never safe for me to ever be alone with him again.
This was very eye opening for me Paula. I keep telling myself one day she's gonna figure it out and realize everything she's done, but the only thing worse to me than her not changing, is me learning that she meant it and enjoyed every second of it. This was part of what kept me in the relationship; I didn't want to leave cause I was scared of the sight that she would feel nothing, and that would damage me even further.
WOW!!! This is SO Scary!! I was in this for many years with a member of my husbands family. I’m free now and ever so grateful to have finally figured it out and escaped after my husband died. You are so right when you say they are truly Demonic!!! She was and is still a malignant narcissist!!! They don’t change , I’m sure the smoke of Satan is bellowing out of this person. Lord have Mercy on her next victim.
The Narc husband has done his use & abuse tactics with so many other women b4 me ... just so happens I hadn't realize all the BS since this year .... sad pathetic crap!!! I'm thankful reading up & watching videos about the Narcissist. Brings light to the situation that I'm not the problem or cause of it!! They'll NEVER be held accountable for their evil, ugly actions, that's why I call him a COWARD!!!
Oh Daniel, I was feeling the exact same way. We want to believe that they love us and will keep us pursuing that path and we keep running the course only to find ourselves broken and we loose our own sense of purpose in life. I never knew I was capable of suicidal thoughts. I still think she could change… but deep down I know better. I pray for everyone who gets entangled in her web. It truly is demonic. I believe she used black to convince a boy to murder his mother at an Air B&B she stayed at. I feel it in my soul. As soon as I became closer to the Holy Spirit the more I began to figure her out.
Always checking to see if you know .. and what a weird feeling it is .. like, we don't know, but can feel something very 'wrong', like it doesnt 'fit' or doesn't make sense. And they'll give away snippets here and there on purpose, and behave in illogical ways to plaster over it again. And we become ill because our body is not making sense of it either. Wow, to know this now .. and narcissists in general as we come across them now and then seem to know that we now know
Yep, I agree it felt " off " but not enough to put your finger on. Once you know it's just a magic act, they lose interest and discard. They're finding out we know, now who's walking on eggshells!!!?. They'll have to change their playbook faster with each engagement. Stay safe....
@@tinajones5548 not enough to put your finger on .. yep, that's it. I mean, we wouldn't have even entertained the idea, it never would have crossed our minds, we never would have thought they were up to no good in the worst betraying deceptive ways. Isnt it funny though (not in a laughable way) that when we DO start thinking the worst of them, that they could be capable of the worst, that it's more than possible but probable .. everything makes sense. I call it 'turning it on its head' and it all fits, it all .. makes .. sense .. by turning it on its head. I'm so glad we survived and can see it all now.
@@jackgoodings I am glad to have survived it too and to know what I know now What a blessing to have figured it out and to Blow up their Bridge to us, Allll of them
Hi Paula Everything you have spoken about...resonates with me!!!! Thank you for relating this...as people who have been victims of this barbaric behaviour, need to either realise or re-enforce whot they went through. I am sure that if they have the intelligence, they will be able to identify any other narcissistic people that comes into their life. Broken hearts 💕 can be mended...love can still find a way. Trust in your higher power....and ✨️ and you can defeat the devil worshipers. Sounds harsh....but that's whot they are!!!. Peace&Love&Light Namaste 🙏
At the stage I realised he was a narcissist was when he said " you don't know me" my response was I know exactly who you are... this was a text battle we had... he blocked me and scuttled away, I in turn deleted him and never looked back! It was very traumatic in the beginning but I thank the Angels I saw the light. Love, light, happiness and strength to you all. Thank you Paula, for doing what you do I have gained so much knowledge from your videos 🎉 and will keep watching.
Once I realise what I was dealing with, I was so out of there and never looked back, it's been 3 beautiful YRS going on 100 MORE!!!! My advice is to get EDUCATED, STAY EDUCATED and keep watching videos AND sharing VIDEOS with others!!!
This narc and I had a baby 1600 miles away from my family and friends, my home, he didn't want to stay at the hospital, he left us alone for hours a day (I had a c-section), didn't sign the paternity acknowledgement, insisted on a paternity test even though he was sure she was his, went straight back to work even though he didn't have to, manipulated the situation to make me look crazy by trapping me, not giving me the car seat, blocking my car in the driveway with his, and tried to take our baby away by serving me papers, two weeks after her birth! I have never been so alone and scared. At a temporary hearing, the judge gave me primary custody after reading his ridiculous affidavit. A year and a half later, still waiting to go back to court, got my own place and stability, but I still have to see him every day. The minute I called him out after the birth of our daughter, when I knew who he was, he smirked, then RAN outta the house 😆🤭💪Mama 🐻 I am a full-time mom and student with a huge binder of evidence for court and no lawyer. I'm ready to fight and win!
So many nuances, thank you so much for your clarity. After my honeymoon, realized that something is really off when the verbal abuse started. He said" You drink coffee and I do not want to kiss you it makes peoples' breath smell, My response is so do you, now you don't drink coffee? Crickets. Then 16yrs of hell. Now 3.6yrs no contact. PS. I did not want and really didn't kiss him ever since that day. Horrible marriage and life lessons learned to NOT repeat. The stakes went higher when he was figured out, as my safety was compromised, ex made household/ vehicles unsafe for every person/pet who entered.
Yes, your last sentence about safety is really important to state. Unless someone's been there, it's hard to believe that these things do happen. Like tampering with brakes, harming pets, it's frightening. But unless we have evidence of it, people may say we're the ones who are crazy or exaggerating. And that's another layer of stuff we shouldn't have to defend against, but do 🤗xx
Boy did I have a night last night. When my husband finds something not done, well you all know, he lets loose about what I MUST HAVE been doing. It's hard for me to get to work after this type of night! I'm feeling a bit better and going but I have Rheumatoid arthritis and it starts a flare when I have NO sleep and I'm still getting over cancer treatment.....so I am tired. My goodness, if you pray, please pray for my endurance and focus to continue moving forward. I speak with a realtor and loan officer on a conference call tomorrow...Friday 8/ 19. Thanks friends!💞
I am glad to hear this description in your own words. It helps me understand, remember, and absorb. This is not only validating, but strengthening. Happy healing everyone.
To Paula for being so bright! I want to warn a bunch of people out there that covert malignant narcissist don't only exist in the outside world, but many the majority of leaders in churches religious organizations r covert narcissists. Speaking of my long time fiance, he has a great pedigree, super well educated, comes from a prominent wealthy family. At the beginning he loved bombed me as all covert Narrisisist do. But then that wore out. I've noticed over the years, how cold, lack of empathy and total denial about his own humanity, can never take accountability for anything and always points the finger at me or someone else. All the while he has a house Church which no one attends except me and the friend of mine. We are his supply. But we are walking out. He is going to have to face his failures. He preoccupies himself with money he's an investor, and politics and still calls himself a clergy. He has zero compassion for people and does not care at all about their well-being or growing his house church at all. He spends most of his time on how to invest his money and talking about politics. He is a devil, and sheep's clothing... I have to walk away quietly with him. Just warning a bunch of men and ladies and men out there lots of devils in the churches. Jesus said by their fruits you will know them not what they profess. Anybody can profess to have faith in God. The question lies where's the backup of that profession? How do they live their lives? Do they stand with the word of God and are true to their fellow man? Narcissist on notorious liars and cheaters and live in secrecy. And the worst kind of the ones that are religious that cover their evil kifsryle with a religious garb...time to wake up! And be wise and kick these covert Narrisisist devil's out of our lives for good and help others come out of that toxicity! This is what My ministry is devoted too! 💕 Cc&P.
My ex narc was a so-called Christian. It's sickening the lies they tell to all who attend the church and then those church brothers and sisters turn Narcissist also. They are the scum of the earth!
A good video explaining what happens when you know that the person you love and standing before you is not the person you thought they were. The mask has slipped and it's a shock. It happened to me with the ex after 35 years married. However, I do not agree that you should confront this person with calling them a narcissist to their face. It has taken me four years to reconcile my past with this man and read up as much as I can about the disorder. They will not believe you when you call them a narcissist anyway. I will never call him that to his face or to others who have contact with him. I worked with a therapist first to realize that the ex was not going to change his behavior by looking at the cycles of change model. The first stage of change is for the affected person to realize that there needs to be a change. The ex was not at nor never would be at this stage, because we had gone through this several times in our marriage. I had to work through this realization and plan my exit from this long marriage as much pain as it caused me. Please educate yourself and not spend your time trying to educate this person and plan for your life without them. Focus on understanding the effects of narcissistic abuse and healing rather than concentrating on "diagnosing" and calling them out as a narcissist. It is my understanding that a small part of the population has narcissistic personality disorder. What the most of us are dealing with is someone who has narcissistic traits and not necessarily a "narcissist".
Great comment and you bring up a good point - the first step is that the person has to want to change. If that's not the case, let them go. All the best to you.
I don’t think you can change someone who has demons residing in them . Someone with narcissist traits is completely different to someone who is malignant, a psychopath or a sociopath..,
Dona s Hey how are you. Donna thank you for your input 🙏. I don't usually answer these messages, but every now and again I see someone who has bothered to put some good feedback into the community. You are right to say that when you realise that whot you though was a true love and is something different, to not confront but to ease your way out and start your healing process. It then gives you the time to gather information and learn how to counter act these traits. I done the opposite but my encounter was with a very clever sadistic and devil 😈 worshiping narcissist. I think everybody handles this situation according to his experience and personality. I would say that if you do not have strong beliefs then your way is the best. Peace&Love&Light Namaste 🙏
Hi Donna: Paula is great at calling this stuff out, but even Michael the archangel didn't rebuke Satan. He said the Lord rebuke you! That's because Satan is extremely wise in the ways of the world, as he created the rules and he's been around a long time. lol We are in the world 🌎 but not of it! We are strangers and pilgrims seeking a better country! That country is the Kingdom of God ( and after the rapture) we will rule and reign with Him as Kings and Priests for 1000 years as the Bible points out in Revelation, after the 7 years of tribulation and the Antichrist's appearance. Then we come back at the 2nd coming. After the 1000 year reign, that when Satan is cast in hell eternally, he will only be bound then let loose one more time proving one and for all that Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life. There is only one way to God the Father, and that's through the Son, Jesus Christ. It's certainly exciting times we live in! Hang in there.
WOW! This video nails it! I wished I had come to know your channel prior to me knowing this borderline personality, covert narcissist friend. As you're talking I am remembering and I can even visualize the look The non-communication as if you weren't even there and it was during the time I was going to get discarded! I have learned so much over the past two years about narcissists covert narcissist and borderline personality. This has helped me in so many ways and getting through what I thought was something I did which it wasn't. They sure can play havoc in your brain if you let them stay there! Thank you so much for your insight and for your training and your coaching!
You said it! I had the same “friend”. The last time she used my name with such a cold voice I knew. That was the moment my heartmindsoul screamed ADIOS!
I've seen the physical change that gives away the true self. And if you even bring up anything in that realm in the smallest way - they will mock you to try to hide their real self ..
I am fascinated. I got blocked. His other ex got his friendship. They definitely have favourites! She sussed him out too. I think she was a better supply because she came with a house he didn't have to have his name on and a second income. My kids are my priority so he couldn't be with me because he needed to step up properly.
Absolutely, there is nothing normal about staying friends with someone who stole your money, cheated on you and broke your heart. She was never allowed to heal. When he moved out she was asked by a family member of his to keep an eye on him as he had nobody here that cared for him. she supported him for a year after he moved out whilst he battled alcohol addiction. He Messaged her halfway through an overdose. Every few weeks we'd be sat watching tele and his phone would ping. She would be sending her monthly How's you xxx then they'd get into chit chat. She would question him on women on his Facebook including me. She would question our relationship. He would be texting her saying he was crying over their memories. It messed my head up. I was definitely in the middle of some unfinished business. I told him in our final argument my friends tell me to run as they clearly are not emotionally over. He didn't like that.
When you are older, most of the good ones have died and you are left with one who is “not right”, it is a choice to tear off the blinders or stay blind.
I really loved the way you touched up a subject regarding- once you leave the toxic bobble , you name them , mask comes off - and they will STILL try and see how much addicted we are to them 😮 in order to push you back in !! Unbelievable!!!! Look at how strong we really need to be to not let that happen. After such a tragic and strong manipulation that took forever….. Thank you xxx
It wasnt until he abruptly terminated our 11 year relationship that I came to realise the hidden emotional abuses. I had ignored of brushed away making excuses for his behaviour. It was two weeks after he had left me in Spain and he had gone to live in the home of his new supply. (An ex girlfriend he loved with briefly 38 years before) This was when I really understood the truth. Reading an email he had sent to me. How he had never loved me. He had no empathy, no compassion. I became his target for revenge and punishment. I had informed him I did not wish to remain friends. I was hoping that we could end things amicably with no conflict. I am a non confrontational personality by nature. How wrong could I have been. It became a nightmare. It's not over yet. I have not been supported by the Organisations that are supposed to help in abusive situations. There was no Justice. Post separation abuse continues through legal conflict and it is all one sided from him.
Great video. I really like the analogy of a bubble. For a few years, I felt like I was in a bubble that I couldn't pop despite my best intentions of doing so. It was like I was under some type of spell. Finally, I was able to pop the bubble and I'm relieved. But for all the reasons you state in this video, I'm also very careful. I don't look at this person on social media, etc. I'm focused on moving forward with my life and I think that's the best thing you can do. Because you're right. There's part of us who love/loved the narcissist and some of these narcs do have a bit of humanity in them (depending on the narc), so if you're not fully healed, it's easy to get sucked back in. All the best to you, Paula. I look forward to your next video.
When I realized, there drama is there life. To let the drama go is certain death. From there perspective, shining any light on the situation, is you trying to kill them. Because they are disconnected from source, they have never considered any other options. After some self emprovement, it's easy to see why they disappear from your life. They don't want to be murdered.
Don't tell them you know, don't expose them, just go no contact and move on. Take it from someone whose life was ruined. I never imagined my entire reputation would be ruined. All my relationships. My health. My entire community turned against me. My children. I never lied. I wish I had thought it out; these people are more dangerous than we even realize
I love your channel. So honest and kind. Plus the accent. Music to my Yank ears. 😊 Yes. Black eyes and not a human being looking at me but a very dark entity that wants and likes to hurt anyone who has ‘injured’ him. I really like the spider web analogy. Where I live there are very big outdoor spiders that build condo type family webs that can span several feet between the trees. And their webs are extra sticky. Just like the family and generational toxic environments we’ve been exposed to. Hard to break free of and remnants can remain demanding a thorough and difficult cleansing.
15:40 I would rather say, it's not they wanna see if there's left any of your addiction to them, but how much humanity has left within you. You're supposed to brutally discard, cancel the existence of someone who you once loved like your child. Don't confront yourself with this situation, rather be hypocrite and avoid them like a snake. (like they do). They are already dead for a very long time, unfortunately. You won't destroy someone who is a zombie already, but you'll save your life alternatively.
Like children and your resources. In my case I was disgusted by them. The only control they have is the control they think they have, not actual control.
I did the same, and I had to reverse discard her. These people display a pattern of the same toxic abusive behavior that its gets to the point where it's hard to unsee, or ignore. I got fed up and booted her out of my life. They are compulsive liars too.
Hi Paula, 👋. You are looking great. Thrilled you explained when a narc realizes their games have been figured out. It is a very dangerous time for the victim. Thank you for stressing this.
It’s terrifying how you describe the way that masks falls off but you are so right. At the end of a twenty five year marriage, I can honestly say I was looking at a complete stranger at the end of it all. It was mind blowing. You kind of SEE and FEEL it (the mask) coming off as it unfolds . . . but it is still Mind Blowing when the full force of it hits you. After all the drama, my ex narc seemed stunned when I went immediately no contact. Not sure how it really affected him because I moved quickly when I realized what I was really dealing with. It’s difficult to go 100 percent no contact because we have grown kids together but, to the extent that I can, I do not engage at all. It is an incredible thing to live through and I pray that no one I care about has to deal with it. I am glad that there are channels like this one that are educating on the destructive nature of narcissism. If I had had the education thirty years ago that I have NOW, it would have been a game changer. It is an insidious thing. You live and you learn.
as a male i am easily invalidated when the subject comes up and I'm still kind of in limbo, it isn't easy for guys. my patience and rationality is the only thing i have to help and videos like this is how i hold on to the problem in my situation and feel and know i have control. what little i can take and exercise when i have time from everyone and everything and am able to practice it is starting to get stronger. thank you.
It’s been over 2 years since I discarded the narc ,, and he continues to send send emails,, ( I blocked him ),, or he always seems to be in my area ,, he lives far from me , I feel like he’s watching me ,, I checked my house for cameras,, it’s a horrible feeling knowing he’s out there ,,
My ex narc would cry like a little girl trying to convince me that nothing was his fault but that he was just a victim of unfortunate circumstances. All while having me pay for outings while he insulted and yelled at me. We never got to the living together stage but he was trying to bully me into supporting him. I’m still trying to figure why I got sucked into the spider’s web, however I’ve been free from him for years with no contact. And holidays were the worst no gifts and celebrations of course unless I paid. I was in college struggling at the time also. Now I’m a successful nurse and making sure no narc cons me again. It’s a scary world if you don’t have standards or boundaries.
Wow Paula. Again spot on. With your help i have empowered myself and know these dark characters. Even the chap she left me for, a drug addict has left her. Shame, i can only feel sorry for her. Still no hoover but i know so much now and i am prepared should there be a hoover. In the meantime I have met many more but don't entertain their games. Lol....
@@CynthiaSchoenbauer I suppose look their way, laugh while shaking your head and walk away.... In that way they are unable to control you and walking away will indicate to them that they are irrelevant/insignificant. Don't talk or look at them after that, just enjoy yourself and let your beauty shine.
This is so very true! Wish I had realised earlier. We don't understand that there are these kinds of people in the world, we think it belongs to fiction or is at least extremely rare. But they are not that rare. I would never had anything to do with the narcissist agan ever.. if it wasn't for the fact that I have to co-parent with her. I have to protect my daughter against a narcissistic mother. And it is true that there is no empathy. None whatsoever! It is really pure evil on earth. I wish more people learned about this. Especially the legal system. Thankyou so much for your videos!
The narcissist In my life raised me to have horrible communication skills so I can't even explain my situation to anyone with out me DOUBTING myself that I would give someone a word salad and not even know that my communication is so bad. And I am isolated it feels like I am switching from homeless shelter to homeless shelter from hotel my covert narc dad buys me to shared housing he buys me. I was raised in a cult for 17 years of my life in Jehovah's Witnesses! I'm 29 years old bracing for a bumpy road up ahead.
Also I believe I have undiagnosed austism. It seems my "dad" Jose Martinez is trying to kill me buy getting me shared housing in the ghetto in really bad neighborhoods with gangsters riding around their drug dealer cars everywhere.
I can relate when it comes to communicating skills. I was fine until my ex started taking over my conversations causing me to feel less than and then very anxious. So much so that I wore turtlenecks for 15 years to hide the flushing on my neck. He never once said, what is causing that ? He knew he took. My saving Grace is that I can express myself in words. And writing and journalling and art helps . If I were you, i would document everything for your own sake, and write through your experiences. Good luck to you. 📕🌺
Absolutely agree this is so accurate it’s like you now my situation with my narc..17 years and the big discard..grand children family everything gone.. no remorse..it’s all my fault..gave all asked nothing..crazy how very evil this woman is..god help no empathy at all it’s insane..lord help us..🙏
Grey rocking has become second nature, it's actually sad and pathetic. The only person who can see the real me, is me. Whatever passion, happiness, and excitement I show to the world, there is always a narcissist there to piss on it. Why even bother
Sorry I found this funny - when you first break away from them, You feel like your are in that movie..... I can see dead people..... I felt the same way....
Wow!! I think I'm in the last dregs of this. My young adult grandchild is causing chaos with all the traits. I've studied Narcissism for about 2 years now. But this person is hurting people, being cruel and manipulative. I just blocked this person on the phone and I could almost feel the evil. I just have to break free. I know this is dangerous because my mother was a narcissist and my husband of 33 years was a N/S/Psychopath. Is it in the genes? Thank you for being so clear about this and yes I have witnessed this behavior. Can't wait for your next video. I've got to play this as carefully as possible.
Studies have shown that narcissists are actually born this way, and that is has a lot to do with genetics. They lack gray matter in the brain, and that is where empathy begins to form in most children around the age of 5. This would explain their childlike behavior and lack of emotional maturity. This also explains why they are maladaptive and unable to change through any amount of therapy. (Obviously, it's on a spectrum, so the less malignant ones may have a shred of hope). I also don't think all of them were abused as children either. I'm not saying that none of them were, but a lot of their abuse is made up in their distorted minds. There are a lot of children who grow up in horrific conditions that grow up to be wonderful individuals. The Little Shaman had a really good video on this at one time, and I've not been able to find it.
When I left my ex, to move into the apartment we had in the basement of our home because he was cheating, and I wasn’t able to work because of depression, he demanded I pay rent of $750. He erupted when my lawyer told him the house was partly mine. I did work outside the home. My first night in my bedroom, I literally sat up in bed where I could actually sense a presence of EVIL. It was that strong and unsettling. I didn’t know about Narcissism , I just thought it was a bad marriage and that I was to blame for the most part. He’s long gone now, and I hope in more ways than one.
I am loving all your content. Really thankful as a fellow believer. This person who has done this to me has a cross tattooed and often uses scripture to “back” their control. She said God told her this 🤮 but I have seen that mask come off. I showed love after all the attacks and the eyes of this person changed. It was all smiles and then she looked at me and her face and eyes said it all.
For me, discovering what a narc was for the first time, who and what they truly are and understanding my role as "supply" made complete sense to me, it made sense of my life and what I was going through, over and over again, starting with my mother. When I finally was hit straight in the face with a narc expert (here on You Tube) I was in awe and ready to allow it all to set in. I was just entering my first discard after being love bombed, but as Paula described, it was just a test on his part to see how deep I was under his control. I wasn't into it deeply, not at all. Why? Because I spent 10 years in a prior narc relationship. That one knew me like no one else ever had. He never once outright abused me. Never once called a name or put down. What "he" wanted from me, as his supply, was how I made him feel. I loved him deeply and unconditionally, I remained believing after all his cheating and lying he'd one day make me the only one. After 10 years, I made my mind up to end it all and the last thing he was going to do is allow me to get away. So, I moved out of state, got a new unlisted phone number and lived in a home that I did not change on my drivers license so he could not find me. It took me over 10 years to get over him. Now I'm 100% free and will never again give my love away, it must be earned. This last narc, he never stood a chance, he was a low life, dirt bag and him coming back for more supply will never happen, ever. He was and is and will always be a narc and a thief. No matter how much or how little one has, no matter how hard you've worked, he will take what you have. He's nothing more than a thief and will never be more than that. In our community I've exposed him for who he is. People suspected but i confirmed it. Can he retaliate? No. He's got a long lonely path a head of him. I simply did not want anyone I could possibly know to become his next victim.
Book Link Below:
Weaponised Love -a.co/d/g4bB4MI
I remember asking my husband “ did you know I was slowly dying?” He said “ yes I did.” He knew and that was his goal. To totally break me. I was 26 yo and weighed 77#. I hadn’t been able to eat solid food for 6 months bc I’d throw up. He glowed. He loved knowing he had that power over me. He wanted me to die. He told me that. He died. I started over. That was 40 years ago. I grew up with a n mother. I’d ask her for help. I only got one phone call a week. ( all I was allowed). I was a prisoner of his. She refused to help me. But I survived. Fixing to have my 65 birthday. God protected me and rescued me. I live alone. I did marry again but divorced him ( another one) after 10 years. Never again. I’m happy alone.
🌸🌹🙋♀️
69 here I have a similar story. Good luck..
I'm always going to be alone
@@nicholecornes1915
With God we are never alone 🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾
I'm 60... single with peace no drama
for me it is two adults kids😢😕I'm choosing me 😊
I'm 60...with God we are never alone
I'm choosing me🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾
It truly is demonic when they are malignant and psychopathic. Piercing blue eyes turn black. Many of us have seen it for real. Keep strong everyone. It is a spiritual battle.
Yup , I’ve lived that hell !,, black eyes , the smirk ,, totally demonic
@@salonsavy6476 I am not a religious person, as in a set religion, but I saw what I now call "demon eyes". This was when he would switch in an instant into violent assaults. An inhuman scream. Something very very dark.
When you say black eyes, do you mean enlarged pupils that over take their blue eyes?
My joanie had beautiful blue eyes...her most notable feature....and until now I didn't realize how they disappeared during the devaluing moments and during the ultimate discard! Yes! I did not recognize her in those moments.
This video pulled the remaining evil spider webs off of me.
Amen amen
Here is what I said on my way out: " I'm sorry. I don't have the capacity for continued conversations with you. This boundary is for me and not against you. It's time for me to go. It was a pleasure. Take care." Then he got blocked across all platforms. It's been a month and I realize that the longer I go without talking to him the better I feel. I want to encourage you to get away and heal. It's awesome.
Very good 👍 👏
Very classy too....
good job girl😄😄🥳🥳🥳🥳
You cut them off with dignity. It's so tempting to launch on a huge tirade about their diabolical behaviour , but this will give them more supply and allow them to claim victim status. Best to keep our heads high and explanations to a minimum!
Awesome job. Good going sis!
When you finally wake up, with no judgement to cloud your thoughts, with no revenge nor anger. You can see them, the spirits that have hold of them! It's in the eye's, smile and even the way they walk. When they know you know they start to walk funny, after all the tricks they use don't work they can't passively trigger you anymore, they walk funny, you will notice that that spirit jumps, you can see it in the walk. I know this sounds crazy but it's TRUE. You now see all of the toxic people for what they are. Most people are just trying to survive, and then you spot that one demon.
Wow ! I have noticed the strange walk ??? I still thought to myself why is he walking so strangely
Don't tell them crap!!! They weren't telling you crap when you begged for their honesty. Let the knowledge be your secret weapon, and don't let the right hand know what the left hand is doing.
Exactly! Detach and say nothing. Nothing is something!
I agree and have thought that the whole time!
You got that exactly eight
Amen!
i agree ,let it be your secret ,
This had to b the worst mental illness on the planet . It is so sick so horendous so damaging and you just can’t wrap your head around it . You are changed forever after this . Only people that have been thru this can understand it . Your knowledge is so aligned with us survivors it’s incredible . We have no chance against these people once they have us that’s it your life will never b the same . It’s so sad and upsetting how many lives are getting destroyed by these devils in sheep’s clothing . God bless all of us xo
I told him at the very end "I know what you are" because I have no idea who he is and neither does he.
It’s a demon and you are a demon slayer if you choose to be!
It is not a mental illness there is no cure they are evil just that.
You have to earn that knowledge exposing it all over for free? Either way you gotta pretend you don't and play their Game regardless. I can't remember at the time but knew it all in great detail. You'll be outta there on half time of their last one.
A mental illness? Or are they a different Type of human? I saw pictures of one where the pupil of the eye is not in the middle of the iris but at the rim, like a chameleon. Look at pictures you got, they look different each time. No, they are not like us. But you can turn the spider into a fly and feed it to the ants if you know whats going on.
Don't call them out just leave! Engaging in anyway just gives them supply.
Just ghost them. If you confront them, they'll just tell you and anyone else that'll listen that you are crazy. And they will seem convinced that you are.
There's also the chance you'll get triggered by their response and they grab the upper hand again as they know how to do so well...or even worse, that you start to doubt yourself all over again.
When you’re healed. You don’t give them energy any more. No more catering to a Narc. It’s even a waste of time to tell them that you know. Just leave them behind.
Yep. Can take a while to get there. Be very careful of the trauma bond
Very true....freedom is a step away
it's just so sick
I've come to realize that though they THINK we are stupid...they KNOW we aren't stupid.
Amen!
They are the only ones that are stupid. The only ones, who betray only themselves and are responsible for their own downfall, when they could‘ve chosen the light all this time
But lol😂 they will Find out it soon.. it’s gonna be bad messing with chosen one. God is involved now !
Kind of A Phoney Stupidity !!!
And it doesn't take long for us to realise the narc is thick as sh1t.
You win when you leave these hollow creatures.
It's not who they are...It's what they are. They're not human.....
It is the most dangerous experience in my life. Do not tell them you know until your free, they will hurt you beyond your wildest imagination.
Prayer for a Narcissist
All-Powerful Father, I pray for those who are battling narcissism in their lives. Help them overcome, by the power of the cross, their prideful focus on themselves. Help them to see that there is so much more this world has to offer than just caring about themselves. Help them to understand that they are not putting God first in their lives. When Your Son called the crowd to Him with his disciples, He said that if anyone would come after Him, let them deny himself and take up his cross and follow Him. Speak to them, Father, and show them that there is more to gain in following You than in seeking what this world has to offer. Only You can reveal the ultimate good that can free them, Lord. Please help them now. Amen.
What did they do to you
Yes!!!!!
I was told as a joke-not rlly- that she gets spiteful when she’s mad. I think it was a threat lol
betrayal trauma. it is sort of compliment that proves their inferiority.
Safety before pride. Any interaction with these type of people can be dangerous.
@@flightydancer Never make the mistake of showing vulnerability to a Narc. They will be EVEN MORE CRUEL AND ABUSIVE.
They are either tolerating you as direct or indirect supply or they hate you. There is nothing else.
Ohhhhh wow . Yeah . I agree
When the narcissist 'knows you know' and when the narcissist even knows that your family dog knows...hmmm. My dog ..a beautiful retriever...kindest dog you could ever imagine. Wouldn't hurt a fly. Gave the narc a clear warning one afternoon while the narc was rough housing with our then young daughters next to a cast iron wood stove. I was afraid that the children may get hurt or bang their head's on the stove. I asked the narc to STOP. He refused to listen and kept it going. My dog went up to him barking and nipped his hand. From that day forward the narc started calling my dog "dumb". "A few bricks short of a load". Even the family pets aren't spared. My dog was protecting the children. Listen to your pets reactions to the narc. My children as well so loved that dog... But they were then hearing their father make fun of him. 'Anyone' any PET ..Who steps in to defend or protect the children from the endless manipulation from the narc is a target for abuse. Watch their 'actions'. The narc was getting the children riled up because he 'knew' how much that bothered me ..their mother. Listen to your intuition and don't ever doubt it 💚💌☕
Your dogs will be ignored completely or scoffed at with distain by the narc. Watch them closely, they are pet abusers. Even if they claim to like animals, its not true.
My ex the Narc raised his FIST to my dying dog. I covered him with my body and begged him not to hurt him. That Ed’s the moment I KNEW
@@lalani888ARTblue Dogs smell abusive horrible people. The kNOW.
They'll tell you a story,about what somebody has said or done to them,but really it's a confession of what they've said or done to someone.
So true. Mine was always telling me about what people had done wrong to him. More like the other way around like a back to front projection. They are obsessed by their own victimhood.
@jayTee-zp1jn the good news is they always end up lonely, no friends,that's their karma for all the gaslighting, lying manipulation they've done to their victims over the decades.
Keeps me smiling everyday
Very true. And it doesn’t surprise me at all. Such a weird thing to contend with!
I lost a job due to one a narc with many psychological problems, Funny how God works, blessed me with higher paying work that I enjoyed immensely and since then , blessings keep coming. I have tested many since and their minions, not smart and very predictable. I still pray for them, God is Good!
God is good 🌹
I could literally write a book about my experience. One chapter would be how the trauma bond is harder to break Than any addiction. They used intermittent reinforcement to keep you entangled.
Ph yeh , I could write scripts .. season 1, 2 and so on
Trauma bond is horendous …. You need to experience dark night of the soul to get rid of that !!!
It is almost unbelievable that people can go to these extremes and they all do the same things.
Can be dangerous. Please dont underestimate their rage, hatred and contempt.
When my ex narcissist and I were watching the Amber and Johnny Depp trial, I kept mentioning how Amber Herd showed all the classic signs of being a narcissist. My ex asked if I thought he was a narcissist. Now as much as I wanted to say yes, I chose to say no. There are conversations with a narcissist that you have to be very conscience of, as the consequences could be very dangerous. I was grey rock, and didn't want all my hard work becoming dangerous. You have to be very strategic when going grey rock. It took 6 months and had to put up with a lot of narcissistic abuse, but it was worth it in the end. He discarded me 2 months ago 🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳💯
Congratulations!
🎼 oh what a relief it is ☺️
These people are EGI's 'elite' gender inverted freemasons/satanists ----------this 'trial' is a psyops to distract and brainwash --------------watch Dayz Of Noah -------Shaking My Head Productions --------Nicholson 1968---------Call For An Uprising ---Truth Shock TV -------and the transvestigation channels and be 'woke' from the satanic matrix!Bless
Congratulations! As horrible as the discard is, it's the beginning of our healing back to psychological health and happiness.
😂👏🏻
Detach,blocl them from any way to you, ignore, give them a smurk smile and move on. They are evil predators and shoukd be in jail.
Most law enforcement are in on it.. it’s called greed
100 % correct
Yep faced with the HARD FACT I WAS DANCING WITH THE DEVIL ....BUT ALL THE TIME I KNEW THERE WAS SOMETHING SERIOUSLY WRONG & FOR THE LIFE OF ME I COULD NOT FIGURE OUT WHAT....OH I KNOW NOW HES LONG GONE....
Like lambs to the slaughter !!! We walked into these relationships pure souls , happy looking for love ❤️ came out the other end like we have been in a meat grinder a battlefield like no other scarred , damaged , abused 😡🥺
I settled a lawsuit against my covert narc psychiatrist. The very next one also could have been sued. Be careful who you turn to for help. They can fake empathy. They can have you picked up on a fictious charge for a mental health hold, over medicate, give unneeded electroshock, falsify records impacting your care moving forward, give you false derogatory DSM labels, etc. They will use your learned vulnerabilities against you and they are experts at gaslighting. My experience on YT under ds electroshock.
@@Winner1-c2u wow you are so right thanks for the heads up we must always b on guard and have what’s left of our minds switched in 💯....Thanyou and god bless u xo
@@jostafford3367so very true!
Congratulations ❤
When the Narcissist knows you know,,,, they are going to provoke you to craziness so no one believes what you say.
Yep I’m living that now
The utter depravity of a narcissist is just so astounding. Once you break free, you will never go back even when threatened.
"I also have my cross on today because I know they don't like these to be exposed".
I told the narcissist they have demons and need to get rid of them.
I said the same thing to the N I was dating. I told him Jesus sees the demons inside of him. Of course that angered him and he told me I had demons inside of me and that Jesus knows it,. He would always throw my words back at me or use my words against me.
@@tanyadepoalo4312 Thats their Tactics !!. DARVO - Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim Offender.
NARCS are on the Cluster B Spectrum.
Check it out for a Light Bulb Moment
absolutely terrifying to see demons knowing the person invited them in
I’ve seen that look, that looking at you like you are a complete stranger. It was so unsettling. I still didn’t know what a narcissist was at that point. That took another month. He’s testing me now. He’s trying to see how much I know, but he knows I know more than I’m putting on. It’s scary. He’s plotting something. He’s doing these lying emotional dumps where he tries to make me out to be the narc.
I’ve even gotten proof from mutual friends of his smear campaign beginning years ago. Many mini discards in the last ten years. It’s hard to believe a person can do this to you just because they are mentally unwell.
I experienced that also, him looking at me like he had no clue who I was. And pretty much everything else you mentioned I have experienced. 🙏🏽
I saw that look but didn’t know what it was
My friend was bffs with a narcissist. When I warned my friend, she passed it on to the narcissist, who started spreading slanderous lies about me to my friends. Instant and almost violent defense mechanism.
My friend stuck with the narcissist for a couple years after that until the villain slept with my friend's boyfriend. She was DEVASTATED
My experience is a bit different with my COVERT Narc. Mother.
At the time when I said "I had enough", she didn't stare back at me, but denied all bad things she's done behind me. Then, after I showed her proof, she still denied all, by saying "I've done it because I was MISUNDERSTAND you."
She loves to use this reason, and I forgived her too many times, until all my "trust cards" ran out.
After I go for no contact, I still need to try hard to against my own empathy for contacting her again & sometimes I thought that I made the wrong choice for blocking her messages.
Now, already 4 years since no contact.
The more I learn about Overt & Covert Narcissists, the more I become confidence that I made the right choice.
❤❤❤❤ so hard when it’s family or a parent.. not all of them are even on the cluster bee spectrum, but a lot of people from the boomer and silent generation were simply shut down and emotionally illiterate. It’s not always intentional manipulation or evil, but the effect on the children is pretty much the same, especially if they continue to not take responsibility for their actions or the damage that they did ongoing.
Well I decided not to tell him. I had this fear when I found out who he was. I got out when he began trying to control me. It took him years trying to maneuver Me. I am not easily dominated. I think he thought he was going to but then I got angry and he saw he was never going to control me. But the new sorce is 19:55 a door mat. I think maybe I was gone from him so long when I moved out of town that I can move away with no emotion like I did The times with him at family events. He is the father of my son so a little harder but my son does not live in the same state I do or his dad does not either. These people scare me and they should you all to! They are not stable. I want. Nothing to do with him and he is getting old now. He probably does not have that many years and had heart surgury so I can now get far away from him. I made the right move running ou t of town. However until I got on this site I still did not know how bad he was. My suggestion to anyone is still involved, get off the internet and get off the phone when iT rings! They really are black hearted Demons you have been associating with!! You cannot help them!!! Save yourself. You are a good person and you can find another good person if you just let go of evil!😢
@@theoriginal7727mom
Is it weird that i find your voice so soothing and calms me down, ill put you on my speaker while i do chores around my apt. And ill lay down and fall asleep to your speeches. ❤
I’m glad and honoured 🌹
I was fine it's been 6 months and then all of a sudden I got a flashback and I got depressed and I started crying so thank you for this video today I needed it peace and love
Awhile ago, when my now ex-wife admitted her cheating and infidelity, she did it with such a smug face and beaming confidence. Almost as if she now knew, that I knew and it didn't matter to her. She was smiling, had a smirk and was just so blasé about it. It was total surrender as she knew the next step was ME seeking a divorce- Her reaction showed that she was relieved to finally have the secret exposed. It hurt like hell to learn my wife was sleeping with another man (On our wedding anniversary no less, resulting in a pregnancy)..but she seemed to find an almost sickening humor in it....She ended up marrying him, but NOW wants a divorce from him and is softly Hoovering and breadcrumbing me about wanting to reconcile-----THEY ALWAYS COME BACK WHEN THE NEW SUPPLIES LIGHT BEGINS TO DIM-----HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Dan keep that door nailed Shut. We never take SHIT back.
I hope you told her to take a long walk off a short dock. 😅
Enjoy her pathetic hoover but never let her back. I know you won't.
@@davidcoppotelli3957 Unfortunately, we share 3 kids together-----Grey Rock only...
@@danscott2059 be strong
This should be considered one of the most important videos on how to deal with the narcissist. Thank you.
🙏🌹
He started calling me stupid a year into the relationship and to this day insinuates that I'm stupid. When in all reality they are the one that is stupid and it's actually embarrassing that they don't see how other people see through them
Because you aren’t genuine yet. The pretense is what you offer them.
@@artandculture5262 ???? That's what they do to us .. nothing genuine just pretenses
I discovered he was a narc RIGHT after I got out but during the final discard -I finally pushed back and said I SEE WHO YOU ARE….but it was my soul talking because I had never challenged him like that before-I was just absolutely sick of all the BS-and I had the perfect OUT a couple of days away
Paula, you are absolutely right. At this point, my situation is very sensitive. My husband is elderly and a hoarder. He has been in assisted care for 8 months following crohn surgery, kidney stone surgery, cancer treatment and now he has diabetes, amongst other things. He is flying the coop tomorrow and going to go live with his brother. He wants a divorce and to sell the house so he can have his $$. It was either come home for me to take care of him or to his brothers. I've done some intense therapy for the last 8 months and I see right through him now. I feel like I was so naive for all these years. I don't dare call him out. He's nasty and I don't want to rock his boat until I am far far away and done with him. He has flying monkeys in place.. those he pulled out of the woodwork, because he doesn't have any real friends. Anyway... yes, it's important for me to keep my mouth shut right now.
Exactly! Act quietly don’t tell anybody what you are up to. Don’t give a last reunion, the last meeting because it would be that for you. Many controlling narcs attack when they figure out you are going to be gone. Save just in case. Best of luck
I pray you sell house and take off with money you deserve.
God bless yu and all will be well for you soon. keep your faith and all will be ok. I too, have had to let go of my daughters, probably never to see my grandchildren. They are so mean and I always sensed it but kept on trying. Not any more. Done!
As my sucked dry of life and now deceased enabling dad used to say about my narc mother behind her back.... (...."walk soft and stay out of sight"...).
❤️❤️🌹
It really can become a horrible and hostile situation. I remember after going no contact with my ex, we had one more financial situation to take care of. Though I didn't know about narcissism then, I knew him. He tried to con me by coming to my house, but I wouldn't let him in, everything he said to me was outside in front of our security camera. We had to meet at the bank in the end to get papers notarized. I made the appointment, so we didn't have to wait. He acted like such a childish idiot there that even our banker looked at me for questioning his behavior. I never even walked out of the bank with him and made the excuse that I had transaction to make with the teller. I knew him, he knew that, and it was never safe for me to ever be alone with him again.
This was very eye opening for me Paula. I keep telling myself one day she's gonna figure it out and realize everything she's done, but the only thing worse to me than her not changing, is me learning that she meant it and enjoyed every second of it. This was part of what kept me in the relationship; I didn't want to leave cause I was scared of the sight that she would feel nothing, and that would damage me even further.
WOW!!! This is SO Scary!! I was in this for many years with a member of my husbands family. I’m free now and ever so grateful to have finally figured it out and escaped after my husband died. You are so right when you say they are truly Demonic!!! She was and is still a malignant narcissist!!! They don’t change , I’m sure the smoke of Satan is bellowing out of this person. Lord have Mercy on her next victim.
The Narc husband has done his use & abuse tactics with so many other women b4 me ... just so happens I hadn't realize all the BS since this year .... sad pathetic crap!!! I'm thankful reading up & watching videos about the Narcissist. Brings light to the situation that I'm not the problem or cause of it!!
They'll NEVER be held accountable for their evil, ugly actions, that's why I call him a COWARD!!!
Oh Daniel, I was feeling the exact same way. We want to believe that they love us and will keep us pursuing that path and we keep running the course only to find ourselves broken and we loose our own sense of purpose in life. I never knew I was capable of suicidal thoughts. I still think she could change… but deep down I know better. I pray for everyone who gets entangled in her web. It truly is demonic. I believe she used black to convince a boy to murder his mother at an Air B&B she stayed at. I feel it in my soul. As soon as I became closer to the Holy Spirit the more I began to figure her out.
They are dangerous people. You never know what they are capable of. Stay away from them. It's not worth it.
Very true. Fear of exposure could cause you to see a side of them you've never seen before. You cannot let your guard down for a second.
Always checking to see if you know .. and what a weird feeling it is .. like, we don't know, but can feel something very 'wrong', like it doesnt 'fit' or doesn't make sense. And they'll give away snippets here and there on purpose, and behave in illogical ways to plaster over it again. And we become ill because our body is not making sense of it either. Wow, to know this now .. and narcissists in general as we come across them now and then seem to know that we now know
Yep, I agree it felt " off " but not enough to put your finger on. Once you know it's just a magic act, they lose interest and discard. They're finding out we know, now who's walking on eggshells!!!?. They'll have to change their playbook faster with each engagement. Stay safe....
This is exactly how is was/felt
Shape-shifting demons , Jack.
@@tinajones5548 not enough to put your finger on .. yep, that's it. I mean, we wouldn't have even entertained the idea, it never would have crossed our minds, we never would have thought they were up to no good in the worst betraying deceptive ways. Isnt it funny though (not in a laughable way) that when we DO start thinking the worst of them, that they could be capable of the worst, that it's more than possible but probable .. everything makes sense. I call it 'turning it on its head' and it all fits, it all .. makes .. sense .. by turning it on its head. I'm so glad we survived and can see it all now.
@@jackgoodings I am glad to have survived it too and to know what I know now
What a blessing to have figured it out and to Blow up their Bridge to us, Allll of them
What if they ask "Do YOU think I'm a narcissist?" I told her - You never tell a narcissist they are a narcissist.
❤
Never forget who you are Thank you Paula 🌻
He acted like a bad ass until no contact ans security camera 🎥 got his attention 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Hi Paula
Everything you have spoken about...resonates with me!!!!
Thank you for relating this...as people who have been victims of this barbaric behaviour, need to either realise or re-enforce whot they went through.
I am sure that if they have the intelligence, they will be able to identify any other narcissistic people that comes into their life.
Broken hearts 💕 can be mended...love can still find a way.
Trust in your higher power....and ✨️ and you can defeat the devil worshipers.
Sounds harsh....but that's whot they are!!!.
Peace&Love&Light Namaste 🙏
At the stage I realised he was a narcissist was when he said " you don't know me" my response was I know exactly who you are... this was a text battle we had... he blocked me and scuttled away, I in turn deleted him and never looked back!
It was very traumatic in the beginning but I thank the Angels I saw the light.
Love, light, happiness and strength to you all.
Thank you Paula, for doing what you do I have gained so much knowledge from your videos 🎉 and will keep watching.
🙋♀️🙏🌹
Your clarity and lucidness of thought sets you apart from the others out there who address this topic
🙏🌹
Once I realise what I was dealing with, I was so out of there and never looked back, it's been 3 beautiful YRS going on 100 MORE!!!! My advice is to get EDUCATED, STAY EDUCATED and keep watching videos AND sharing VIDEOS with others!!!
This narc and I had a baby 1600 miles away from my family and friends, my home, he didn't want to stay at the hospital, he left us alone for hours a day (I had a c-section), didn't sign the paternity acknowledgement, insisted on a paternity test even though he was sure she was his, went straight back to work even though he didn't have to, manipulated the situation to make me look crazy by trapping me, not giving me the car seat, blocking my car in the driveway with his, and tried to take our baby away by serving me papers, two weeks after her birth! I have never been so alone and scared. At a temporary hearing, the judge gave me primary custody after reading his ridiculous affidavit. A year and a half later, still waiting to go back to court, got my own place and stability, but I still have to see him every day. The minute I called him out after the birth of our daughter, when I knew who he was, he smirked, then RAN outta the house 😆🤭💪Mama 🐻 I am a full-time mom and student with a huge binder of evidence for court and no lawyer. I'm ready to fight and win!
Warfare.....praying for you Paula
So many nuances, thank you so much for your clarity. After my honeymoon, realized that something is really off when the verbal abuse started. He said" You drink coffee and I do not want to kiss you it makes peoples' breath smell, My response is so do you, now you don't drink coffee? Crickets. Then 16yrs of hell. Now 3.6yrs no contact. PS. I did not want and really didn't kiss him ever since that day. Horrible marriage and life lessons learned to NOT repeat. The stakes went higher when he was figured out, as my safety was compromised, ex made household/ vehicles unsafe for every person/pet who entered.
Oh my gosh it's so dark and sinister , thankyou for sharing, I am determined to get away this time , your comment helps me x
Same here. He switched up the minute we went down the aisle. No physical contact. Said he did it to “punish” me and didn’t know why. BEWARE.
Yes, your last sentence about safety is really important to state. Unless someone's been there, it's hard to believe that these things do happen. Like tampering with brakes, harming pets, it's frightening. But unless we have evidence of it, people may say we're the ones who are crazy or exaggerating. And that's another layer of stuff we shouldn't have to defend against, but do 🤗xx
The spider web strands are the perfect analogy. Just as a spider can feel the slightest quiver of any strand.
You are so so so on point in every words step by step of their vicious cycle.
Yes every word ! 😁
Boy did I have a night last night. When my husband finds something not done, well you all know, he lets loose about what I MUST HAVE been doing. It's hard for me to get to work after this type of night! I'm feeling a bit better and going but I have Rheumatoid arthritis and it starts a flare when I have NO sleep and I'm still getting over cancer treatment.....so I am tired. My goodness, if you pray, please pray for my endurance and focus to continue moving forward. I speak with a realtor and loan officer on a conference call tomorrow...Friday 8/ 19. Thanks friends!💞
🙏👍
He says we will put house up for sale this weekend(?!)
Starting to bring in the hoover...omg LORD help me!
OMG, this is so deep and really true!!
I am glad to hear this description in your own words. It helps me understand, remember, and absorb. This is not only validating, but strengthening. Happy healing everyone.
YOU did a GREAT JOB explaining this content as ALWAYS!!!! This healing journey sure has its Highs and lows! Please PRAY for me!! ❤️
♥️🙏♥️ Yah please hear and bless them.
@@loriecarter3414 TY! 😘😘
To Paula for being so bright! I want to warn a bunch of people out there that covert malignant narcissist don't only exist in the outside world, but many the majority of leaders in churches religious organizations r covert narcissists. Speaking of my long time fiance, he has a great pedigree, super well educated, comes from a prominent wealthy family. At the beginning he loved bombed me as all covert Narrisisist do. But then that wore out. I've noticed over the years, how cold, lack of empathy and total denial about his own humanity, can never take accountability for anything and always points the finger at me or someone else. All the while he has a house Church which no one attends except me and the friend of mine. We are his supply. But we are walking out. He is going to have to face his failures. He preoccupies himself with money he's an investor, and politics and still calls himself a clergy. He has zero compassion for people and does not care at all about their well-being or growing his house church at all. He spends most of his time on how to invest his money and talking about politics. He is a devil, and sheep's clothing... I have to walk away quietly with him. Just warning a bunch of men and ladies and men out there lots of devils in the churches. Jesus said by their fruits you will know them not what they profess. Anybody can profess to have faith in God. The question lies where's the backup of that profession? How do they live their lives? Do they stand with the word of God and are true to their fellow man? Narcissist on notorious liars and cheaters and live in secrecy. And the worst kind of the ones that are religious that cover their evil kifsryle with a religious garb...time to wake up! And be wise and kick these covert Narrisisist devil's out of our lives for good and help others come out of that toxicity! This is what My ministry is devoted too! 💕 Cc&P.
My ex narc was a so-called Christian. It's sickening the lies they tell to all who attend the church and then those church brothers and sisters turn Narcissist also. They are the scum of the earth!
A good video explaining what happens when you know that the person you love and standing before you is not the person you thought they were. The mask has slipped and it's a shock. It happened to me with the ex after 35 years married. However, I do not agree that you should confront this person with calling them a narcissist to their face. It has taken me four years to reconcile my past with this man and read up as much as I can about the disorder. They will not believe you when you call them a narcissist anyway. I will never call him that to his face or to others who have contact with him. I worked with a therapist first to realize that the ex was not going to change his behavior by looking at the cycles of change model. The first stage of change is for the affected person to realize that there needs to be a change. The ex was not at nor never would be at this stage, because we had gone through this several times in our marriage. I had to work through this realization and plan my exit from this long marriage as much pain as it caused me. Please educate yourself and not spend your time trying to educate this person and plan for your life without them. Focus on understanding the effects of narcissistic abuse and healing rather than concentrating on "diagnosing" and calling them out as a narcissist. It is my understanding that a small part of the population has narcissistic personality disorder. What the most of us are dealing with is someone who has narcissistic traits and not necessarily a "narcissist".
Great comment and you bring up a good point - the first step is that the person has to want to change. If that's not the case, let them go. All the best to you.
I don’t think you can change someone who has demons residing in them . Someone with narcissist traits is completely different to someone who is malignant, a psychopath or a sociopath..,
Dona s
Hey how are you.
Donna thank you for your input 🙏.
I don't usually answer these messages, but every now and again I see someone who has bothered to put some good feedback into the community.
You are right to say that when you realise that whot you though was a true love and is something different, to not confront but to ease your way out and start your healing process.
It then gives you the time to gather information and learn how to counter act these traits.
I done the opposite but my encounter was with a very clever sadistic and devil 😈 worshiping narcissist.
I think everybody handles this situation according to his experience and personality.
I would say that if you do not have strong beliefs then your way is the best.
Peace&Love&Light Namaste 🙏
Hi Donna:
Paula is great at calling this stuff out, but even Michael the archangel didn't rebuke Satan. He said the Lord rebuke you! That's because Satan is extremely wise in the ways of the world, as he created the rules and he's been around a long time. lol
We are in the world 🌎 but not of it! We are strangers and pilgrims seeking a better country! That country is the Kingdom of God ( and after the rapture) we will rule and reign with Him as Kings and Priests for 1000 years as the Bible points out in Revelation, after the 7 years of tribulation and the Antichrist's appearance. Then we come back at the 2nd coming. After the 1000 year reign, that when Satan is cast in hell eternally, he will only be bound then let loose one more time proving one and for all that Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life. There is only one way to God the Father, and that's through the Son, Jesus Christ. It's certainly exciting times we live in! Hang in there.
@@sonlightpsalm942 YES!
WOW! This video nails it! I wished I had come to know your channel prior to me knowing this borderline personality, covert narcissist friend. As you're talking I am remembering and I can even visualize the look The non-communication as if you weren't even there and it was during the time I was going to get discarded! I have learned so much over the past two years about narcissists covert narcissist and borderline personality. This has helped me in so many ways and getting through what I thought was something I did which it wasn't. They sure can play havoc in your brain if you let them stay there! Thank you so much for your insight and for your training and your coaching!
You said it! I had the same “friend”. The last time she used my name with such a cold voice I knew. That was the moment my heartmindsoul screamed ADIOS!
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Resonates with me as well....Man I can't believe how screwed up that girl is
I've seen the physical change that gives away the true self. And if you even bring up anything in that realm in the smallest way - they will mock you to try to hide their real self ..
I am fascinated. I got blocked. His other ex got his friendship. They definitely have favourites! She sussed him out too.
I think she was a better supply because she came with a house he didn't have to have his name on and a second income. My kids are my priority so he couldn't be with me because he needed to step up properly.
Money doesn't buy happiness. You got the better deal!
You’ve had a lucky escape there, block him back and never unblock him!
Absolutely, there is nothing normal about staying friends with someone who stole your money, cheated on you and broke your heart. She was never allowed to heal. When he moved out she was asked by a family member of his to keep an eye on him as he had nobody here that cared for him. she supported him for a year after he moved out whilst he battled alcohol addiction. He Messaged her halfway through an overdose. Every few weeks we'd be sat watching tele and his phone would ping. She would be sending her monthly How's you xxx then they'd get into chit chat. She would question him on women on his Facebook including me. She would question our relationship. He would be texting her saying he was crying over their memories. It messed my head up. I was definitely in the middle of some unfinished business. I told him in our final argument my friends tell me to run as they clearly are not emotionally over. He didn't like that.
When you are older, most of the good ones have died and you are left with one who is “not right”, it is a choice to tear off the blinders or stay blind.
Oh great a woman on RUclips knows more about my relationship with my wife than I do after 30+ years
When they know you know. They rid you as fast as they can.
I really loved the way you touched up a subject regarding- once you leave the toxic bobble , you name them , mask comes off - and they will STILL try and see how much addicted we are to them 😮 in order to push you back in !!
Unbelievable!!!!
Look at how strong we really need to be to not let that happen. After such a tragic and strong manipulation that took forever…..
Thank you xxx
When the dust settles, the toxic person will initiate the Discard process
And up the smear campaign and play victim
It wasnt until he abruptly terminated our 11 year relationship that I came to realise the hidden emotional abuses.
I had ignored of brushed away making excuses for his behaviour.
It was two weeks after he had left me in Spain and he had gone to live in the home of his new supply. (An ex girlfriend he loved with briefly 38 years before) This was when I really understood the truth. Reading an email he had sent to me. How he had never loved me. He had no empathy, no compassion. I became his target for revenge and punishment.
I had informed him I did not wish to remain friends. I was hoping that we could end things amicably with no conflict. I am a non confrontational personality by nature.
How wrong could I have been. It became a nightmare. It's not over yet.
I have not been supported by the Organisations that are supposed to help in abusive situations. There was no Justice. Post separation abuse continues through legal conflict and it is all one sided from him.
Yes when you find them out the the wrath of hell is unleashed
They scatter.
Then come slithering.
Great video. I really like the analogy of a bubble. For a few years, I felt like I was in a bubble that I couldn't pop despite my best intentions of doing so. It was like I was under some type of spell. Finally, I was able to pop the bubble and I'm relieved. But for all the reasons you state in this video, I'm also very careful. I don't look at this person on social media, etc. I'm focused on moving forward with my life and I think that's the best thing you can do. Because you're right. There's part of us who love/loved the narcissist and some of these narcs do have a bit of humanity in them (depending on the narc), so if you're not fully healed, it's easy to get sucked back in. All the best to you, Paula. I look forward to your next video.
When I realized, there drama is there life. To let the drama go is certain death. From there perspective, shining any light on the situation, is you trying to kill them.
Because they are disconnected from source, they have never considered any other options.
After some self emprovement, it's easy to see why they disappear from your life. They don't want to be murdered.
Don't tell them you know, don't expose them, just go no contact and move on. Take it from someone whose life was ruined. I never imagined my entire reputation would be ruined. All my relationships. My health. My entire community turned against me. My children. I never lied. I wish I had thought it out; these people are more dangerous than we even realize
I love your channel. So honest and kind. Plus the accent. Music to my Yank ears. 😊
Yes. Black eyes and not a human being looking at me but a very dark entity that wants and likes to hurt anyone who has ‘injured’ him.
I really like the spider web analogy. Where I live there are very big outdoor spiders that build condo type family webs that can span several feet between the trees. And their webs are extra sticky. Just like the family and generational toxic environments we’ve been exposed to. Hard to break free of and remnants can remain demanding a thorough and difficult cleansing.
Years, decades lost
Listen 👂 up you guys ! It's really happening.
On point 👍 my experience I never called her out, but I'm sure she knows I know
The unwritten rule! lol 😏
@Cherish God well said
I called him out last night calling me from Ohio the demons are real and out and about. Love from Albuquerque.
15:40 I would rather say, it's not they wanna see if there's left any of your addiction to them, but how much humanity has left within you. You're supposed to brutally discard, cancel the existence of someone who you once loved like your child. Don't confront yourself with this situation, rather be hypocrite and avoid them like a snake. (like they do). They are already dead for a very long time, unfortunately. You won't destroy someone who is a zombie already, but you'll save your life alternatively.
Like children and your resources. In my case I was disgusted by them. The only control they have is the control they think they have, not actual control.
They are devious….always
She knows I know. I told her she was a narcissist
I did the same, and I had to reverse discard her. These people display a pattern of the same toxic abusive behavior that its gets to the point where it's hard to unsee, or ignore. I got fed up and booted her out of my life. They are compulsive liars too.
Hi Paula, 👋. You are looking great. Thrilled you explained when a narc realizes their games have been figured out. It is a very dangerous time for the victim. Thank you for stressing this.
It’s terrifying how you describe the way that masks falls off but you are so right.
At the end of a twenty five year marriage, I can honestly say I was looking at a complete stranger at the end of it all. It was mind blowing.
You kind of SEE and FEEL it (the mask) coming off as it unfolds . . . but it is still Mind Blowing when the full force of it hits you.
After all the drama, my ex narc seemed stunned when I went immediately no contact. Not sure how it really affected him because I moved quickly when I realized what I was really dealing with. It’s difficult to go 100 percent no contact because we have grown kids together but, to the extent that I can, I do not engage at all.
It is an incredible thing to live through and I pray that no one I care about has to deal with it. I am glad that there are channels like this one that are educating on the destructive nature of narcissism. If I had had the education thirty years ago that I have NOW, it would have been a game changer. It is an insidious thing.
You live and you learn.
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as a male i am easily invalidated when the subject comes up and I'm still kind of in limbo, it isn't easy for guys. my patience and rationality is the only thing i have to help and videos like this is how i hold on to the problem in my situation and feel and know i have control. what little i can take and exercise when i have time from everyone and everything and am able to practice it is starting to get stronger. thank you.
even this sentence ^ shows me that i still can't exp[lain what is wrong properly but now i know there is some thing there and what to look for.
You know,I hadn't thought about it,but it must be terrible if a male goes thru this.I am so sorry
It’s been over 2 years since I discarded the narc ,, and he continues to send send emails,, ( I blocked him ),, or he always seems to be in my area ,, he lives far from me , I feel like he’s watching me ,, I checked my house for cameras,, it’s a horrible feeling knowing he’s out there ,,
My ex narc would cry like a little girl trying to convince me that nothing was his fault but that he was just a victim of unfortunate circumstances. All while having me pay for outings while he insulted and yelled at me. We never got to the living together stage but he was trying to bully me into supporting him. I’m still trying to figure why I got sucked into the spider’s web, however I’ve been free from him for years with no contact. And holidays were the worst no gifts and celebrations of course unless I paid. I was in college struggling at the time also. Now I’m a successful nurse and making sure no narc cons me again. It’s a scary world if you don’t have standards or boundaries.
Wow Paula. Again spot on. With your help i have empowered myself and know these dark characters. Even the chap she left me for, a drug addict has left her. Shame, i can only feel sorry for her. Still no hoover but i know so much now and i am prepared should there be a hoover. In the meantime I have met many more but don't entertain their games. Lol....
@@CynthiaSchoenbauer I suppose look their way, laugh while shaking your head and walk away.... In that way they are unable to control you and walking away will indicate to them that they are irrelevant/insignificant. Don't talk or look at them after that, just enjoy yourself and let your beauty shine.
This is so very true! Wish I had realised earlier. We don't understand that there are these kinds of people in the world, we think it belongs to fiction or is at least extremely rare. But they are not that rare. I would never had anything to do with the narcissist agan ever.. if it wasn't for the fact that I have to co-parent with her. I have to protect my daughter against a narcissistic mother. And it is true that there is no empathy. None whatsoever! It is really pure evil on earth. I wish more people learned about this. Especially the legal system. Thankyou so much for your videos!
Thanks so much Paula!
You are so good at choosing your words 👍👍👍
The narcissist In my life raised me to have horrible communication skills so I can't even explain my situation to anyone with out me DOUBTING myself that I would give someone a word salad and not even know that my communication is so bad. And I am isolated it feels like I am switching from homeless shelter to homeless shelter from hotel my covert narc dad buys me to shared housing he buys me. I was raised in a cult for 17 years of my life in Jehovah's Witnesses! I'm 29 years old bracing for a bumpy road up ahead.
Also I believe I have undiagnosed austism. It seems my "dad" Jose Martinez is trying to kill me buy getting me shared housing in the ghetto in really bad neighborhoods with gangsters riding around their drug dealer cars everywhere.
There are no words, I am so sad you are going through this, be gentle with yourself, love and hugs ❤️
I can relate when it comes to communicating skills. I was fine until my ex started taking over my conversations causing me to feel less than and then very anxious. So much so that I wore turtlenecks for 15 years to hide the flushing on my neck. He never once said, what is causing that ? He knew he took. My saving Grace is that I can express myself in words. And writing and journalling and art helps .
If I were you, i would document everything for your own sake, and write through your experiences. Good luck to you. 📕🌺
Im absolutely terrified of my addiction to this woman. But your channel gives me strength ❤
You can do it!
Absolutely agree this is so accurate it’s like you now my situation with my narc..17 years and the big discard..grand children family everything gone.. no remorse..it’s all my fault..gave all asked nothing..crazy how very evil this woman is..god help no empathy at all it’s insane..lord help us..🙏
You say it all so well..Thank You..❤
Grey rocking has become second nature, it's actually sad and pathetic. The only person who can see the real me, is me. Whatever passion, happiness, and excitement I show to the world, there is always a narcissist there to piss on it. Why even bother
Sorry I found this funny - when you first break away from them,
You feel like your are in that movie.....
I can see dead people.....
I felt the same way....
Wow!! I think I'm in the last dregs of this. My young adult grandchild is causing chaos with all the traits. I've studied Narcissism for about 2 years now. But this person is hurting people, being cruel and manipulative. I just blocked this person on the phone and I could almost feel the evil. I just have to break free. I know this is dangerous because my mother was a narcissist and my husband of 33 years was a N/S/Psychopath. Is it in the genes? Thank you for being so clear about this and yes I have witnessed this behavior. Can't wait for your next video. I've got to play this as carefully as possible.
Studies have shown that narcissists are actually born this way, and that is has a lot to do with genetics. They lack gray matter in the brain, and that is where empathy begins to form in most children around the age of 5. This would explain their childlike behavior and lack of emotional maturity. This also explains why they are maladaptive and unable to change through any amount of therapy. (Obviously, it's on a spectrum, so the less malignant ones may have a shred of hope). I also don't think all of them were abused as children either. I'm not saying that none of them were, but a lot of their abuse is made up in their distorted minds. There are a lot of children who grow up in horrific conditions that grow up to be wonderful individuals. The Little Shaman had a really good video on this at one time, and I've not been able to find it.
Sending love and strength, you will be protected 🙏❤️
When I left my ex, to move into the apartment we had in the basement of our home because he was cheating, and I wasn’t able to work because of depression, he demanded I pay rent of $750. He erupted when my lawyer told him the house was partly mine. I did work outside the home. My first night in my bedroom, I literally sat up in bed where I could actually sense a presence of EVIL. It was that strong and unsettling. I didn’t know about Narcissism , I just thought it was a bad marriage and that I was to blame for the most part. He’s long gone now, and I hope in more ways than one.
Yes it's genetic. Narcs are offspring of Cain. See Genesis 3:15 and Psalm 58:3-5....
I am loving all your content. Really thankful as a fellow believer. This person who has done this to me has a cross tattooed and often uses scripture to “back” their control. She said God told her this 🤮 but I have seen that mask come off. I showed love after all the attacks and the eyes of this person changed. It was all smiles and then she looked at me and her face and eyes said it all.
Thanks for the timely upload- this is what I needed to get. More power to you, and you are in my prayers
For me, discovering what a narc was for the first time, who and what they truly are and understanding my role as "supply" made complete sense to me, it made sense of my life and what I was going through, over and over again, starting with my mother. When I finally was hit straight in the face with a narc expert (here on You Tube) I was in awe and ready to allow it all to set in. I was just entering my first discard after being love bombed, but as Paula described, it was just a test on his part to see how deep I was under his control. I wasn't into it deeply, not at all. Why? Because I spent 10 years in a prior narc relationship. That one knew me like no one else ever had. He never once outright abused me. Never once called a name or put down. What "he" wanted from me, as his supply, was how I made him feel. I loved him deeply and unconditionally, I remained believing after all his cheating and lying he'd one day make me the only one. After 10 years, I made my mind up to end it all and the last thing he was going to do is allow me to get away. So, I moved out of state, got a new unlisted phone number and lived in a home that I did not change on my drivers license so he could not find me. It took me over 10 years to get over him. Now I'm 100% free and will never again give my love away, it must be earned. This last narc, he never stood a chance, he was a low life, dirt bag and him coming back for more supply will never happen, ever. He was and is and will always be a narc and a thief. No matter how much or how little one has, no matter how hard you've worked, he will take what you have. He's nothing more than a thief and will never be more than that. In our community I've exposed him for who he is. People suspected but i confirmed it. Can he retaliate? No. He's got a long lonely path a head of him. I simply did not want anyone I could possibly know to become his next victim.
🙋♀️🙏🌹
Spot on like always 👌