As someone with a severe peanut allergy (I can't be in the same room as a peanut, it is really bad) I had people in my own "family" that made a joke and a test out of it and "tested" if I really was allergic. I've been allergic to nuts since I was 11... I'm 27 now and they still "forget" about it. The fact that people who should care about you (Including my own dad) are basically trying to kill you is devastating esp. growing up with that BS and starting to understand that these people don't really care about you.
For the peanut child. Bring in the police, tell them up front your trying to get her to understand the seriousness of her actions. Have him make an official report. And have a little chat just between the two of them about what her life would be like in prison if she is involved in any way in attempted murder. Have him explain what it would be like in prison if she is tried as an adult because this is a purposeful act she is committing. Might be surprised how quick she will turn around.
About the last story: I would most definitely NOT give those embryos to my sister because they aren’t just eggs now. They’ve been fertilized by OP’s husband, so those would be her and her husband’s biological children. Their niece or nephew would be their biological child. If it was just my eggs that they needed I would maybe be okay with that, but not if they’re my eggs that have been fertilized by my husband. Especially when we have children together! The problem isn’t with the sister’s eggs, it’s with her husband being infertile. OP is NTA at all! That’s such a weird ask on the sister’s part.
A lot of people donate their unused embryos if they’re done completely their family. It would be hard but at least those embryos would be used and could be in the family.
I would not give them to my sister either. It would be weird, and could cause damage to her relationship with her sister if she didn't agree with how her sister is raising the child. It's very different from giving it away to a stranger.
@@kimmcsharry4256 it really depends on the person and how they feel. I don’t have a sister or did ivf but I would definitely consider it and have a talk with my sister before saying no. It would be hard but again I kinda would like to see them and have them part of my life then not have them at all
If my sister could carry and my husband agreed ( it’s his sperm he gets a say) I’d give them to my sister. If she couldn’t carry then I’d even surrogate for her. Being a parent is more than just biology and those embryos are just gonna go to waste otherwise. ( I also would have donated left over embryos anyway)
Because the frosties are ops eggs and her husbands, they are fertilized so it would be a full sibling of their own kids. They are not asking for unfertilized eggs from op
Yes that is a totally different ask. I’d do that in a heartbeat. I offered a friend my eggs if she wanted to do that but her husband couldn’t get past it. It WAS weird imagining me + his combo but I suggested a donor for him too but they turned me down. I wonder if she regrets it now. I don’t, I offered more than once (I got preg very easily + was done at that point).
EXACTLY! I'm disappointed that this gang sometimes get such important details wrong or they gloss them over. It's like asking for your child the full sibling of your current children. That's a big ask. It's not the same as donating your eggs!
@@aliendeer1294I think they just generally don't have the best grasp on science stuff. I always wish I could chime in and help them, but I am never on a live 🤷♀️
Normally, their lack of reading comprehension doesn't bother me.(they have brought this up themselves in past videos) But this one was so bad that I was shaking my head and internally yelling while washing dishes. Also, laughing cause I knew they were gonna be made fun of by the fans, in a sibling/friend sort of way 😂. Real 🤦♀️ moment 😂 love you okop gang
I come from peanut farmers and I married a man with a severe peanut allergy. I gave up peanuts (my fav) so we don’t have to worry about him having a reaction. We use to have a restaurant and had ice cream that would have peanut butter. If any employee would leave the peanut butter jar open and he would (unknowingly) walk by, instantly would start coughing because his throat would start closing up. It’s scary and weird how breathing it in can cause such issues.
The US has the highest maternal mortality rate in the “industrialized world”. It’s not just that it happens it happens A LOT here. Obviously other countries have issues I’m just saying if it’s the us it’s bad.
Yes, even with a seemingly normal pregnancy, many things can go wrong right at childbirth. Even if he was going back with his ex, his current wife was giving birth to his child. Just for simple consideration he should have at least try to know the baby. He and his ex are major aholes.
@@CabbitPatchKiddoI think because we hal let politicians dictate health and sex ed si they are based on what gives them voters and not what is the best for all. Thats what happens with a system that allow big sponsors for the politicians, then their loyalty is not placed on the people but on their pockets
I feel like Sam is usually a better listener than he was today, even to Sophia. In fact, I’ve frequently been impressed with how supportive of her he is, and sometimes he’s even better been the one to correct John on the details of the story. But, yeah, today he seemed unusually rambunctious and I too was getting really frustrated on Sophia’s behalf. 😂
Sophia and Sam: orange is 100% y'all color!!!!! *chef's kiss* 😗 that turtle neck and that sweater are killing me softly... w envy 😅 Edit: 4:49 John enjoying the argument like a true Elder Brother lmfao
Giving your sister your fertilized embryo is a big ask. Essentially you are giving away youe child and would have absolutely no say in how they raised the child. I don't think i could give away a fertilized embryo and just be okay wirh giving away my child like that. Its not like giving away a puppy or kitten. What if you dont agree with their beliefs or parenting ideas and you would have to stand quietly by watching them raise your child in a manner you weren't okay with? I think this would open up a door to resentment and could ultimately fracture their family relationship.
This right here is pretty much exactly why I came on here to comment!! I think you said it way better than i could have so I am just thumbing this up to reach the top 😁
It's not just giving your egg to your sister, it's also giving your husband's sperm, maybe OP might be fine donating her eggs as eggs, but the embryo it's also the husband's, and perhaps the husband doesn't want to be their sperm donor
💯 is like just adopting the fetus her and her husband had created. Their child would be raised by the aunt and BIL. Also have to think about could The bio mom (op) live holding potentially that secret from the child at her sisters discretion? How would the kid feel about it once it all came out as a teen/ young adult? What if BIL has no problem leaving if the relationship goes bad because he's not the bio dad? It's a lot of heavy stuff to think about without even bringing up the current family dynamics.
It would definitely be weird but I feel like no matter what they are going to have a resentment issue one way or another. I mean op doesn’t have to do it but If this is the sisters only chance to have a kid and you destroy those embryos instead it seems like to the sister that would be a slap in the face it’s all a bit weird to me and by a bit weird it’s all the f’ed up. Without family relationships knowledge and dynamics the whole situation is weird as shit to be honest. I don’t think there’s a right or wrong answer but in my head the way I look at it if I wasn’t going to use them is I would probably give them to my sister. I would rather my embryo have a opportunity at life and to watch them grow up in our same family knowing all of us than just be literally thrown in the trash because that’s basically what’s going to be happening. But I have a very close relationship with my sisters/brothers and their spouses. I’m close with all of my nieces and nephews and so is my daughter is close with all of her cousins. I think there’s a lot that ties into such a wild decision for real though. Shits cray
I honestly hate insensitive jokes about peanut allergies, as someone who is deathly allergic. Not because I can't take a joke, but because half of the people who "joke" aren't really joking. I went to a new school when I was in grade 6, due to a new one being built in the area. At the new school, they were extremely strict about no peanuts/nuts policy and any allergy kids had their photo printed in the teacher safety binder in the classroom. First day of a whole new school, with some kids I knew and more that I didn't, the binder was left open on the teacher's desk and kids who knew me saw my picture. The kids I hadn't grown up with started laughing and joking that they were going to smother my desk in peanut butter. The kids I did grow up with, knowing about my allergy since kindergarten, joined in the joking rather than standing up for me. This caused me to develop an intense phobia of being exposed to this seemingly silly thing that could kill me. The paranoia got so bad that I essentially became a germaphobe and wouldn't touch anything with my bare hands for fear of cross contamination. I ended up having to go to therapy for it and it still affects me deeply to this day and I'll be 29 in a month. Of course everyone has a different experience with their allergies, but stuff as severe as this isn't a laughing matter no matter how "silly" the allergy seems. We know it's stupid to die from something so small and we wish it weren't so...but it's literally something we don't have a choice about. It fricken sucks.
Last story: it's funny hearing them argue about "eggs" when it wasn't even about EGGS! It was about sperm!!! OP & her hubby grew 5 healthy embryos. They had 2 kids so far & are planning a 3rd eventually. Leaving 2 "frosties" left over. BUT what OP wants to do with this 2 are on her & her hubby & no one else. The sister & BIL can ask a guy friend for sperm therefore they don't have to go through a sperm bank. John & Sam need to go back & take a sex ed course. Embryos are what happens AFTER fertilization. Jesus...😂
For real!!! They need a basic human biology course rn. Embryos are already fertilized and like I said in my comment they'd be giving the sister and BIL both OP's egg and her husband's sperm... All of the kids will be FULL genetic siblings. SAM STOP SAYING EGGS, THATS NOT EVEN WHAT WE'RE TALKING ABOUT IN THE STORY!!! LMAO 🤦🏻♀️
Definitely some comprehension issues in this episode lol. I'd ask how grown men don't understand that an embryo is the result of fertilization, but... sadly, all too common. Maybe they were tired? 😀
@@callitags I'd chalk it up to all too common. My 65 year old father didn't know a girl could get her period from ages 8 to 17. He honestly thought that all girls got it at 12! It was both frustrating & funny. 😆
I'm allergic to peanuts and tree nuts. I posted a comment a little while ago about another situation. I always assumed that the allergy would kill me. Now that I'm 68, there are other scenarios that may prevail. As far as allergies go, my first reaction was when I was a toddler and was eating cookies that had nuts. (I don't know the difference in nuts -- they all make me sick). However, hazelnuts don't have a smell, so I have been caught eating hazelnuts a couple of times and the reaction was awful. As a kid, the smell was enough to alarm me. As I got older, the senses were duller and I actually would consume nuts before my body recognized it as a toxin and because there was so much in me, the reaction was that much worse. I had 3 trips by ambulance to ER. Once I got ephinedrine (SP) or a dose from an Epi-pen, my insides would relax a bit. The reaction. itching and swelling inside the mouth (gums, tongue, etc.) then the throat is scratchy and it's hard to clear your throat. after a few moments, you realize the problem and you try to "spit it out" which is a precursor to actually vomiting and before the process was complete, I would have a stomach ache and all the symphoms that accompany it, including a slight fever) The first time I was in the ambulance, I noticed the BP was really low like 70 over 40, (I didn't know it could go that low). I was barely conscious. Once I was at the ER or home resting, it would be hours. sometimes overnight before I would completely recover.
I am severely allergic to tomatoes. Like if it touches my skin I break out in hives. If I eat anything that has tomato juice or tomato sauce on it, I go into anaphalatic shock and need an epi-pen. It sucks!
It's possible. Whether it is true or not doesnt change the fact that her father is failing as a parent my not having a conversation with her, trying to get to the root of the issue and prevent it from happening again. What if she also endangers another random innocent person because of her warped perspective that peanut allergies aren't to be taken seriously? Dad is just choosing to ignore these huge red flags leaving everyone else to deal with the issue
18:50 I wonder how much of this is driven by the ex. If she put her foot down and told her daughter that she wasn't getting back with her dad I feel like she would stop pushing. If on the other hand she is using her daughter as a therapist and telling her how much she wants him back...
A lot of allergies get worse with exposures through time. Peanut, shellfish, lactose, are common allergens that cause that so someone's mild allergy can become deadly if they keep ingesting it
You start to form memories. You can remember when you're 3. So if she was born when they were still together, she could still remember her mom and don't want to see her dad dating someone else. Kids are a lot smarter than we give them credit for do your research Sam.
I personally remember very few things from my childhood especially younger than 12. My situation may be due to repressed emotions, etc. I don’t remember the story giving details about the bio mom, but I think it’s important to know if this child is mentally unwell or needs some sort of help before judging too harshly I’m not an expert though so don’t bash me
I have one adopted son, one biological daughter. I absolutely never in any world introduce my son as adopted and his story is offered up only when relevant not as an explanation. I have also fostered and got lots of surprised looks and comments out and about with 5 kids, interracial placements, etc, and never felt the need to explain away my family dynamic. It’s nobody’s business let them think whatever they want the kids don’t need to pay for nosy people.
Last story.. Embryo and eggd are two different this.. Embryo is sperm and egg meaning that baby will be op' s and husbands.. The sister should try to find a sperm donor first..
You are pregnant for 40 weeks for future reference. I have heard you ask this a lot. They always say you are pregnant for 9 months because most people dont know they are pregnant until their first missed period.
Giving her sister her fertilized eggs means that is biologically her and her husband's child that her sister is simply growing. That's a lot to mentally work through that your sister is raising your children's biological siblings, and say that they're rounds of therapy with IVF don't work, she doesn't want to have to think about trying to save some eggs for her sister. She certainly not the asshole, the sister wouldn't be the asshole for asking, and she would not be the asshole for saying no. This would be completely dependent on people's personalities and relationships with their siblings.
I'm a school bus driver and I had a little girl (elementary) that started having a feeling of peanut dust being on the bus. I assume itchy throat or something. Luckily we were still at the school, I had her get off the bus and stand next to it on the sidewalk and called it in.
The reason more people became allergic is because doctors incorrectly told people not to give young children peanuts when they have now learned that giving them peanuts early actually helps stave off allergies
The husband needs to be included in any decision about the fertilized egg(s) and the sister. This is definitely a 1 no 2 yes situation. Supposing she said yes then he would need his yes or it’s a no go. After all, his sperm fertilized the egg PLUS there could be legal ramifications I.e. child support.
My parents separated when I was around 5yo and I also wanted them to be together until I was late teen so I had a hard time to accept my stepmother. But growing up I understood that my father shouldn't have stayed in a bad relationship. I feel the teenager just need a deep and serious open conversation with the dad. With the dad talking about why he is no more with the mom, explain how important is the new relationship for him and reassure his daughter that even if he has a new relationship she will still be the most important person in his life.
This, but she needs serious consequences too. She isn't just throwing tantrums or misbehaving due to her wanting her parents to be together or being rude to OP. She's actively trying to harm OP with something she knows can kill her. OP was right to get out of the situation. I think the dad was letting his daughter more or less 'get away with it' because he already had a rocky relationship with her due to him dating. He needs to be firm with his daughter and show her that what she's doing is reckless and dangerous AND cruel.
OMG guys, an embryo is a fertilised egg, you don't need to fertilise an embryo again. The embryos are OPs and her husbands teeny tiny frozen babies, that's why they don't want to give them to someone else.
OK Team, an embryo is a fertilized egg that is ready to be implanted in the uterus. Giving an embryo is tough because you are literally giving away one of yours and your husband’s biological children. If they have different parenting philosophies than you or if you don’t think they would make good parents, it would be difficult to essentially watch your child being raised “incorrectly.” I think I would give an embryo to my sister if she needed because she is very similar to me and is an excellent mother, but it would still be difficult.
Even if the wife didn’t have an affair it wouldn’t be fair for her to expect the ex husband to introduce his daughter as his adopted daughter. The fact that she actually had an affair herself.. makes this laughable How delusional is she
5:47 which is why she wants her parents together. She doesn't remember how bad it was. I have faced similar things of being hated by step dau bc she wanted her parents together. Thing is, Husband and I are poly and he could have been with the mom. But they just weren't good together in a relationship.
49:53 I will say donating an embryo is very different than an egg. An egg is just the egg, but an embryo is the fertilized egg of OP and her husband, so if it takes during IVF and goes full term, it’ll be a baby. So it’d mean her sister may raise what is biological OP and her husband’s baby which may be uncomfortable
I'm so afraid of this happening. I'm allergic to bananas and avocados. If i ingest them, my throat closes up, and its a really scary experience. I used to work at a fast food place and would always go out of my way to make sure orders were allergen free when requested because I know what it's like to be afraid to eat out. One day, I was making an allergy order in a separate area, and my boss asked me what i was doing. I told her, and she berated me for taking the extra time to ensure the order was allergen free. She said she would INTENTIONALLY put allergen foods in peoples orders because "They probably just didn't like the item and were lying about it." I asked her if she was willing to play around with peoples lives and she said she wasnt doing that because she "never saw anyone have a reaction" I told her a lot of reactions occur hours after the food is ingested and she brushed me off. I yelled at her, and she told me I was being ridiculous. I reported her to HR, but as far as i know, nothing was ever done about it. It makes me afraid to tell people about my allergies, and I usually just ask for those items not to be included and just hope there's no cross contamination even though I know that can be dangerous. Allergies are scary, and i hate that people are so willing to do things like this. I'm glad OP took this seriously.
People are terrible. As the mom of an allergy sufferer (he’d already had several ambulance rides to the hospital by the time he was 4 years old) I feel for you. It is utterly terrifying watching your child’s lips turn blue and nearly fade out of consciousness. I can’t imagine what it feels like. I’m so angry on your behalf at your boss! And the fact that she wasn’t fired!
I saw an allergist suggest that peanut allergies increased when they started recommending not to give peanut butter to children until they are past a certain age. Prior to that, people would introduce it a lot sooner. I think the advice was initially changed as a way to prevent allergies, but had the reverse effect instead. The increase in peanut allergies aligns with when the advice changed.
Sounds like the husband doesn't take into consideration the wife's feelings and knocks them off as "hissy fits" Can see why he's been divorced before. Dude is a dead beat. The ex-wife should get with her best friend
The attempted peanut murking: that girl is so lucky she has a level headed dad/one that is sympathetic to her bc you know what my dad would have done? He would have called me frantically saying OP was dead bc there were peanuts in the house and to get ready bc the cops are coming to arrest me. Then he would have gotten one of his cop buddies to faux arrest me and interrogate me until I was scared shitless and then would have brought out OP and said this is why you don’t bring peanuts into the house. And it would have been effective lmao.
2nd Story: If that town is so small, most people will be aware that OP's daughter was adopted. He has no reason to say anything. His daughter's feelings should be his priority.
For the last story: 1. The sister’s PCOS is not as bad as OPs (per the story). Her eggs can probably still be extracted through a procedure. She would just need a sperm donor. 2. A friend asked OP if she would give her frosties to her (OPs) sister. So, OP hasn’t even had the discussion with her sister about that (as far as we know). We don’t know if the sister even wants OP’s frosties. Though given that OP is asking if she’s an AH, I’m suspecting that the sister will or has asked for them. 3. OP can do whatever she wants with her fertilized embryos/genetic material. She is under no obligation to give them to anyone (much like she isn’t obligated to donate an organ-yes, I’m comparing the two as they come from one’s body).
They are already fertilized. Not everyone wants to give their children away and its not just her decision the eggs are fertilized so theyre her husbands too
Regarding the last story, I was actually looking into adopting embryos to have children for myself. It is an incredibly big ask. Now, opinions will vary depending on a number of factors, but from my viewpoint, that embryo (which is a *fertilized* egg, not just the ovum) is the biological child of the mother and the father. It would be very strange to me if someone I knew asked to carry and raise one of my children for themselves, and even stranger to me that they would want to have my husband's baby. I would sooner donate my own dna to a complete stranger to whom I have zero attachments than to someone close to me who I would see on a regular basis. Seeing my own child grow up in someone else's family would be hard for me to witness. If it's out of my sphere of influence, though, it could be a beautiful gift to another family. It is unfortunate that OP's sister and her brother-in-law are going through that, but it is not OP's responsibility to step in and come to the rescue. Also, IVF is incredibly expensive, and it would feel to me like OP would basically be footing the bill for her sister's pregnancy. Again... Uncomfortable.
If the daughter was too young not to understand her dad being single, then she was also too young to remember her parents together. Being single for someone else for six years is crazy
Isn’t the eggs already fertilised?🤯 I would never let anyone have my children, it’s my kids 100% siblings… it’s not just OP’s it’s also her husband’s…🤯 It’s like giving your CHILDREN away!!!
Also, for the embryo story, it's not as easy as giving your eggs. The wife of my dad's cousin had fertility issues and had asked my brother's ex-wife (back then they were together) if she would be willing to give her eggs. At first she said yes, but after she had to go see her doctor and a psychologist before donating and they refused to sign her up. After talking to her, they said that knowing that this child would be part of her would be too hard emotionally, especially if she doesn't agree with how they raise him/her or if suddenly they distanced themselves from her. Not everyone can simply give it like that, this egg is still part of you and even if this child would not be yours, you would have the knowledge that this child is also part of you.
So to clarify about the frosties situation, op said they are planning to try for one more kid and then if there are any frosties left over have them destroyed. Also, the sister has less severe pcos than OP
I'm an adoptee, as is my older brother, and I don't remember my parents ever introducing us as their adopted children. Mum was able to give birth to two more kids, and we were all just brothers and sisters. Nobody was introduced or treated differently
Edit: an embryo is a fertalized egg, its a full dna makeup of a child from both sets of parents. (Also op has worse PCOS than her sister not the other way around) giving eggs is different from giving embryos. You'll essentially be watching your and your spouse's child being raised by your sibling which is emotionally complex, vs watching a child who is only part of your dna (which is similar to your siblings dna) being raised by them. Pregnacy is about 40 weeks (10 months) but the first two weeks of a "Pregnacy" you aren't actually pregnant. They just do that because they didn't use to be able to measure the fetus and determine gestational age, so they based it off women's last period and then the average day of ovulation is day 14 of your cycle. They adjust the dates now once you measure but they still include the 14 days prior to ovulation in your week count (which helps the weeks line up with the measurements of your uterus silly enough around 20 weeks your uterus is about 20cm and so on). In reality women are on average actuallt pregnant for 9 and a half months (40 weeks), but can give birth anywhere from about 9 months (38 weeks and still considered early term) to 10 months (42 weeks)
I have a friend who walked past a food sample cart in a grocery store and the product was cooked in peanut oil. She was more than six feet away but went into anaphylaxis and had to be hospitalized.
??? the first story. the OP said her. boyfriend. was SINGLE for six years before they started dating. not that they were. DATING. for six years before they moved in together
It's a whole ass adoption. Both of the biological parents would be placing their child their potential child in an adoption with op sister. This isn't one egg or eggs. This is an actual fertilized embryo.
I have told my sisters I would carry their kids if they wanted. Two of my sister's have a lot of chronic pain and health problems. I would happily donate eggs or carry their baby for either of them. ❤️
But would you and your partner donate your embryo to them? Your whole future child? For context an embryo is a fertalized egg, it's genetically an individual now
I would love to know about her peanut allergy. I know a lot of people who have an allergy when ingested but don’t have a contact allergy. So they can touch peanuts but not eat them. If that’s the case for OP then I think the daughter is not trying to kill her but instead has recognized a fear of something and decided to use it to her advantage.
My adopted parents were both close to or in their 50s when I was born, so it’s always been pretty clear that I am not their biological child (I was adopted when I was 7). When my parents (dad especially who is 5 years older than my mom) introduce me as their daughter people are always like “do you mean granddaughter?” and my parents have to explain that they adopted me. As I’ve gotten older it happens less but now it’s just second nature for them to just go ahead and say I’m adopted before anyone can ask questions. People are nosey and it’s way more common to have to give context than you might think. It never made me feel bad or like I wasn’t their “real daughter” though, I’ve always been super proud that I’m adopted because my parents chose me and I chose them which is a luxury you don’t get with biological children/parents.
18:50 Not peanuts, but I have Alpha-Gal Syndrome, an allergy to meat and animal’s byproducts (milk, eggs, etc.). I’m always scared to eat out for fear of getting a reaction because of cross-contamination. I remember my mom got me an apple pie from the Golden Arches chain and I had anaphylaxis. I mainly stick to Indian restaurants, vegetarian/vegan restaurants, and cooking at home. The worst reaction I had was actually from my cousin (may she rest in peace). She was young and thought I was faking it so she snuck a small piece of bacon in my food. I was brought to the hospital and my mom, her mom (my aunt), and my nonna had to gently teach her about why she couldn’t do that.
The first story it doesn't exactly say when the guy and the mother broken up or if this is the first relationship since the parents broke up. I mean, say they broke up when they girl was 6 then he didn't date from when his daughter was 6 to 12. I just feel like there are key information missing like how old was the daughter when the parents broke up, how long has op been dating this guy, why did the parent break up, what about the mom, has she moved on or is she still single, and the big questions about the daughter. Is the daughter life having several issues affect her life (bad grades, having to move and start over, etc), have the parents sat down with her and communicated with her about this change in her life. But the most important question why has no one given her the harsh truth of if something happens to Op and it is cause by peanuts, there is a chance that legal actions will come down on her. One that attempted murder and two if she is in jail/prison, there is no way for her to stop her dad from dating anyone.
My daughter is OBSESSED with peanut butter! I found her one day just eating out of the jar 😂. If she could she would eat the whole thing 😂. She doesn’t like jam/jelly 😕
I haven't adopted a child myself, but my family is very large and complicated, so we rarely bother with what I call "family math." I'll give examples. My sister has a stepson. I ONLY bring up that he is a stepson when it's relevant to the conversation, like if I'm talking about his mother or something like that. In any other situation, he's my nephew. My family doesn't really do the whole step/half/whatever distinction. One of my aunts was adopted. I didn't even know she WAS adopted until I was a teenager because nobody made that distinction at any point. I found out when we talked about how my other aunt was her sister. From what I gather, my other aunt was not officially adopted by my grandparents because she was older and didn't want to be officially adopted. I don't have the full story there. My grandparents still included her and later her kids in family stuff, but how on Earth would I explain that in casual conversation? Instead, we don't bother. They're both my aunts. Their kids are my cousins. We also just kind of take in anybody who wants to be a part of the family, whether they're related or not. I often joke that a stranger could wander into any of our larger family events and we'd all just assume that they belonged to somebody's family and feed them. My grandmother was married 3 times. For the longest time, I couldn't tell you who was related to me and how. They just told me they were part of the family and I didn't care to find out how. Their kids were my cousins and I referred to the parents by their names. We now use a tried and true method for extended family: if they're older, use aunt or uncle. If they're your age or younger, use cousin. Everything else is just details. The family math gets even more complicated when you add in that my grandfather married my grandmother's twin sister! It's not as scandalous as you might think. Their relationship started many years after my grandparents divorced, the divorce was amicable, and he got my grandmother's blessing before they even started dating.
I remember when I started junior kindergarten we could have peanut butter sandwiches. Then in SK we had a peanut butter table that you could eat at away from everyone else. Then halfway through that year they stopped that. This would’ve been 2001. I was also going to add the point about allergies becoming more prevalent but Sam beat me to it lol
I'm allergic and can't eat them at all or my throat closes up. And I heard that people started getting peanut allergies because they use the protien in vaccines and started using the protien in the early 90s
My grandson is highly allergic to peanuts. He’ll go to anaphylactic shock and could die. He carries an epi pen wherever he goes and have to deal with this throughout his lifetime.
I have a peanut allergy in similar severity to OPs. My house is peanut free, my daughter, partner and guests don't bring them into the house or prepare foods containing them. It's just a respect thing. Op shouldn't be having to fear that her partners child is gonna poison her. I don't blame OP for wanting to break up. If I thought someone was trying to do that, I'd dump them too. It's not worth the risk and typically with peanut allergies, the reactions become more severe over time.
My daughter is allergic to peanuts. She's only ever had the one reaction when she was diagnosed which was a severe rash. All the tests later result in immediate rashes. The problem is there's no way to know if a reaction will be minor or deadly. We take it seriously are are very selective about what she can and can't eat. Also, very few schools are actually peanut free. There is a lot more awareness and some place don't serve peanut stuff except maybe crustables (which are packaged). You can't control what other kids bring. I just tell my kid to not share food and wash her hands after lunch. Try to think of it this way, the daugher was trying to POISON OP. Not as violent as stabbing, ect. but just as deadly? How much arsenic is ok for her to give OP? The answer is none. The only difference is OP is the only one in the house the poison works on.
The embryos story, it's not "just" donating an egg, it's donating an embryo which is both yours and your husbands. It feels like donating your own child, and it would be odd knowing you have a child out there donated to a stranger and even crazier having it growing up as a cousin to your other children. And in fairness the sister never asked for that, one friend asked if she would do it.
my daughters school is peanut free, one day i missread the ingredients on a package of one of the lunch items i packed in her lunch box and she was forbidden to have her lunch as it said "might contain traces of nuts" on one of the 6 items in the box, it was a white chocolate and apple lattice pie which i know has no peanuts in it as my friend who is allergic to peanuts eats it, none of the teachers told me about my mistake until the friday when i was asked why we dont just pay for her to have school meals (she is a picky eater and i didnt think wasting £12 a day was worth it when i can send a lunch with her, especially when you consider in 18 months we will have 2 in the school) i explained this to her teacher as she was handing me a carrier bag with A WEEKS WORTH of my 4 year olds lunch in it, the only item they allowed her to eat from her bag ALL WEEK was her banana as it had not been "contaminated" by any possible nuts or cocoa, i asked why i had not been informed of my mistake as i had been believing she had been eating her lunch and did not believe her when she said she was really hungry when we were walking home from school, i thought she was just saying that to get snacks which i do not allow them to have for 2 hours before meals so they eat all thier food, meaning from 8.30am when she had breakfast until 6pm when i made dinner all she ate was a banana ALL WEEK, and then at a parents evening a month later it was brought to our attention that a parent wanted to address us and ask for a new rule to be in place and asked if we could not send CHOCOLATE/DESERT items in lunch box's as her obese 7 year old child was on a diet for his diabetes and she requested us to not be "unfair" by sending sweet items he might want to eat, luckily 92% of vote was a polie FU to her, wierdly 1 week later he was suspended from school for being caught by the PE teacher for stealing 4..yes 4... 5 year olds luch boxes from the classroom during first break at 10.30am and eating ALL the contents, my daughters was one of them and i had made some homemade muffins with mixed spice (i forgot mixed spice had nutmeg in it) and had a massive allergic reaction to the nutmeg (he was allertgic to nuts apparently), so i was asked to stop senind fresh homemade cakes/bisquits and muffins in her box, my resonse was "NO" if he didnt steal he would not have become ill, they agreed but old headteacher asked if next time i check there are nothing nut related, i agreed and had no issue after including makeing a nice large cake for the old headteachers retirement present from my daughters whole class ( i asked all the parents to sign a card from the class and both teachers loved the idea and got a bunch of flowers and box of chocks to go with it) new headteachers is also lovely x
Re the peanut story, if I was the dad, I would ask a police officer or judge to speak to the daughter and explain the legal consequences if something happened to the gf. It's premeditated murder.
As someone with a severe peanut allergy (I can't be in the same room as a peanut, it is really bad) I had people in my own "family" that made a joke and a test out of it and "tested" if I really was allergic. I've been allergic to nuts since I was 11... I'm 27 now and they still "forget" about it. The fact that people who should care about you (Including my own dad) are basically trying to kill you is devastating esp. growing up with that BS and starting to understand that these people don't really care about you.
What happened with the test though? And you should sue for attempted mud3r if that's the case ...you literally can...
Have you had problems on airplanes?
For the peanut child. Bring in the police, tell them up front your trying to get her to understand the seriousness of her actions. Have him make an official report. And have a little chat just between the two of them about what her life would be like in prison if she is involved in any way in attempted murder. Have him explain what it would be like in prison if she is tried as an adult because this is a purposeful act she is committing. Might be surprised how quick she will turn around.
This is exactly what I thought. That's premeditated attempted murder.
About the last story: I would most definitely NOT give those embryos to my sister because they aren’t just eggs now. They’ve been fertilized by OP’s husband, so those would be her and her husband’s biological children. Their niece or nephew would be their biological child. If it was just my eggs that they needed I would maybe be okay with that, but not if they’re my eggs that have been fertilized by my husband. Especially when we have children together! The problem isn’t with the sister’s eggs, it’s with her husband being infertile. OP is NTA at all! That’s such a weird ask on the sister’s part.
A lot of people donate their unused embryos if they’re done completely their family. It would be hard but at least those embryos would be used and could be in the family.
I would not give them to my sister either. It would be weird, and could cause damage to her relationship with her sister if she didn't agree with how her sister is raising the child. It's very different from giving it away to a stranger.
ALOT of people isn't everyone. In fact this ALOT you're saying is more compatible to no one at all than it is ever going to be majority😅@@xMars4Lifex
@@kimmcsharry4256 it really depends on the person and how they feel. I don’t have a sister or did ivf but I would definitely consider it and have a talk with my sister before saying no. It would be hard but again I kinda would like to see them and have them part of my life then not have them at all
If my sister could carry and my husband agreed ( it’s his sperm he gets a say) I’d give them to my sister. If she couldn’t carry then I’d even surrogate for her. Being a parent is more than just biology and those embryos are just gonna go to waste otherwise. ( I also would have donated left over embryos anyway)
Because the frosties are ops eggs and her husbands, they are fertilized so it would be a full sibling of their own kids. They are not asking for unfertilized eggs from op
Yes that is a totally different ask. I’d do that in a heartbeat. I offered a friend my eggs if she wanted to do that but her husband couldn’t get past it. It WAS weird imagining me + his combo but I suggested a donor for him too but they turned me down. I wonder if she regrets it now. I don’t, I offered more than once (I got preg very easily + was done at that point).
EXACTLY! I'm disappointed that this gang sometimes get such important details wrong or they gloss them over. It's like asking for your child the full sibling of your current children. That's a big ask. It's not the same as donating your eggs!
@@aliendeer1294I think they just generally don't have the best grasp on science stuff. I always wish I could chime in and help them, but I am never on a live 🤷♀️
Normally, their lack of reading comprehension doesn't bother me.(they have brought this up themselves in past videos) But this one was so bad that I was shaking my head and internally yelling while washing dishes. Also, laughing cause I knew they were gonna be made fun of by the fans, in a sibling/friend sort of way 😂. Real 🤦♀️ moment 😂 love you okop gang
If ingestion is fatal and shes carrying peanuts then there is no respect for ops life or health
I come from peanut farmers and I married a man with a severe peanut allergy. I gave up peanuts (my fav) so we don’t have to worry about him having a reaction. We use to have a restaurant and had ice cream that would have peanut butter. If any employee would leave the peanut butter jar open and he would (unknowingly) walk by, instantly would start coughing because his throat would start closing up. It’s scary and weird how breathing it in can cause such issues.
Women still die in child birth, and still births happen. There could be a major health complications and having him there as her advocate is crucial
The US has the highest maternal mortality rate in the “industrialized world”. It’s not just that it happens it happens A LOT here. Obviously other countries have issues I’m just saying if it’s the us it’s bad.
Would you really want that type of man as your advocate?😂
Her husband is a selfish 💩! Unbelievable…
Yes, even with a seemingly normal pregnancy, many things can go wrong right at childbirth. Even if he was going back with his ex, his current wife was giving birth to his child. Just for simple consideration he should have at least try to know the baby. He and his ex are major aholes.
@@CabbitPatchKiddoI think because we hal let politicians dictate health and sex ed si they are based on what gives them voters and not what is the best for all. Thats what happens with a system that allow big sponsors for the politicians, then their loyalty is not placed on the people but on their pockets
I was adopted by my step dad and was always known as his daughter not adopted daughter so op is not the ahole
5:22 the muting took me out!!😂
Honestly wish I could mute my brother some times
She did that on behalf of all of us who wish to mute someone out😂😂
Sam doesn't listen especially to Sofia, the sibling thing gets so outta control lol
So true 😂😂😂 I'm getting so frustrated on Sophia's behalf
I feel like Sam is usually a better listener than he was today, even to Sophia. In fact, I’ve frequently been impressed with how supportive of her he is, and sometimes he’s even better been the one to correct John on the details of the story. But, yeah, today he seemed unusually rambunctious and I too was getting really frustrated on Sophia’s behalf. 😂
Sophia and Sam: orange is 100% y'all color!!!!! *chef's kiss* 😗 that turtle neck and that sweater are killing me softly... w envy 😅
Edit: 4:49 John enjoying the argument like a true Elder Brother lmfao
Giving your sister your fertilized embryo is a big ask. Essentially you are giving away youe child and would have absolutely no say in how they raised the child. I don't think i could give away a fertilized embryo and just be okay wirh giving away my child like that. Its not like giving away a puppy or kitten. What if you dont agree with their beliefs or parenting ideas and you would have to stand quietly by watching them raise your child in a manner you weren't okay with? I think this would open up a door to resentment and could ultimately fracture their family relationship.
Yes they aren’t just eggs! They are embryo! She is giving up her babies
This right here is pretty much exactly why I came on here to comment!! I think you said it way better than i could have so I am just thumbing this up to reach the top 😁
It's not just giving your egg to your sister, it's also giving your husband's sperm, maybe OP might be fine donating her eggs as eggs, but the embryo it's also the husband's, and perhaps the husband doesn't want to be their sperm donor
💯 is like just adopting the fetus her and her husband had created. Their child would be raised by the aunt and BIL. Also have to think about could The bio mom (op) live holding potentially that secret from the child at her sisters discretion? How would the kid feel about it once it all came out as a teen/ young adult? What if BIL has no problem leaving if the relationship goes bad because he's not the bio dad? It's a lot of heavy stuff to think about without even bringing up the current family dynamics.
It would definitely be weird but I feel like no matter what they are going to have a resentment issue one way or another. I mean op doesn’t have to do it but If this is the sisters only chance to have a kid and you destroy those embryos instead it seems like to the sister that would be a slap in the face it’s all a bit weird to me and by a bit weird it’s all the f’ed up. Without family relationships knowledge and dynamics the whole situation is weird as shit to be honest. I don’t think there’s a right or wrong answer but in my head the way I look at it if I wasn’t going to use them is I would probably give them to my sister. I would rather my embryo have a opportunity at life and to watch them grow up in our same family knowing all of us than just be literally thrown in the trash because that’s basically what’s going to be happening.
But I have a very close relationship with my sisters/brothers and their spouses. I’m close with all of my nieces and nephews and so is my daughter is close with all of her cousins. I think there’s a lot that ties into such a wild decision for real though. Shits cray
I honestly hate insensitive jokes about peanut allergies, as someone who is deathly allergic. Not because I can't take a joke, but because half of the people who "joke" aren't really joking.
I went to a new school when I was in grade 6, due to a new one being built in the area. At the new school, they were extremely strict about no peanuts/nuts policy and any allergy kids had their photo printed in the teacher safety binder in the classroom. First day of a whole new school, with some kids I knew and more that I didn't, the binder was left open on the teacher's desk and kids who knew me saw my picture. The kids I hadn't grown up with started laughing and joking that they were going to smother my desk in peanut butter. The kids I did grow up with, knowing about my allergy since kindergarten, joined in the joking rather than standing up for me.
This caused me to develop an intense phobia of being exposed to this seemingly silly thing that could kill me. The paranoia got so bad that I essentially became a germaphobe and wouldn't touch anything with my bare hands for fear of cross contamination. I ended up having to go to therapy for it and it still affects me deeply to this day and I'll be 29 in a month.
Of course everyone has a different experience with their allergies, but stuff as severe as this isn't a laughing matter no matter how "silly" the allergy seems. We know it's stupid to die from something so small and we wish it weren't so...but it's literally something we don't have a choice about. It fricken sucks.
Last story: it's funny hearing them argue about "eggs" when it wasn't even about EGGS! It was about sperm!!!
OP & her hubby grew 5 healthy embryos. They had 2 kids so far & are planning a 3rd eventually. Leaving 2 "frosties" left over. BUT what OP wants to do with this 2 are on her & her hubby & no one else. The sister & BIL can ask a guy friend for sperm therefore they don't have to go through a sperm bank.
John & Sam need to go back & take a sex ed course. Embryos are what happens AFTER fertilization. Jesus...😂
For real!!! They need a basic human biology course rn. Embryos are already fertilized and like I said in my comment they'd be giving the sister and BIL both OP's egg and her husband's sperm... All of the kids will be FULL genetic siblings.
SAM STOP SAYING EGGS, THATS NOT EVEN WHAT WE'RE TALKING ABOUT IN THE STORY!!! LMAO 🤦🏻♀️
Also I’m pretty sure op said her sister’s PCOS isn’t as bad not that it’s worse. I could be wrong but I’m pretty sure that’s what they said.
@@CabbitPatchKiddo yea from what I recall OP said her own PCOS was worse.
Definitely some comprehension issues in this episode lol. I'd ask how grown men don't understand that an embryo is the result of fertilization, but... sadly, all too common. Maybe they were tired? 😀
@@callitags I'd chalk it up to all too common. My 65 year old father didn't know a girl could get her period from ages 8 to 17. He honestly thought that all girls got it at 12! It was both frustrating & funny. 😆
stop beating sophia up. She's trying to explain and you are not listening!
They aren't so good at that. They don't even listen to the stories as they are being told
My thoughts exactly
24:10 they aren't together anymore 😂 the adopted daughter is more important than the ex wives feelings.
This was hilarious episode. Sibling dynamics. Loving it.
I'm allergic to peanuts and tree nuts. I posted a comment a little while ago about another situation. I always assumed that the allergy would kill me. Now that I'm 68, there are other scenarios that may prevail. As far as allergies go, my first reaction was when I was a toddler and was eating cookies that had nuts. (I don't know the difference in nuts -- they all make me sick). However, hazelnuts don't have a smell, so I have been caught eating hazelnuts a couple of times and the reaction was awful. As a kid, the smell was enough to alarm me. As I got older, the senses were duller and I actually would consume nuts before my body recognized it as a toxin and because there was so much in me, the reaction was that much worse. I had 3 trips by ambulance to ER. Once I got ephinedrine (SP) or a dose from an Epi-pen, my insides would relax a bit.
The reaction. itching and swelling inside the mouth (gums, tongue, etc.) then the throat is scratchy and it's hard to clear your throat. after a few moments, you realize the problem and you try to "spit it out" which is a precursor to actually vomiting and before the process was complete, I would have a stomach ache and all the symphoms that accompany it, including a slight fever) The first time I was in the ambulance, I noticed the BP was really low like 70 over 40, (I didn't know it could go that low). I was barely conscious. Once I was at the ER or home resting, it would be hours. sometimes overnight before I would completely recover.
I am severely allergic to tomatoes. Like if it touches my skin I break out in hives. If I eat anything that has tomato juice or tomato sauce on it, I go into anaphalatic shock and need an epi-pen. It sucks!
Peanut allergies have always been a thing. It's just people would die and they really didn't understand why.
Does anyone else think that the daughter of OP’s Bf is being told to act out like this by her mom?
It's possible. Whether it is true or not doesnt change the fact that her father is failing as a parent my not having a conversation with her, trying to get to the root of the issue and prevent it from happening again. What if she also endangers another random innocent person because of her warped perspective that peanut allergies aren't to be taken seriously? Dad is just choosing to ignore these huge red flags leaving everyone else to deal with the issue
@@charityquill4965 I agree with you,I made that comment before the whole story was read.
Peanuts are not a nightshade, they are a legume.
Sam was so determined to have a bad take on story 1 lol "OP is the ahole for slight semantics when addressing the stepdaughter trying to delete her"
Sophia muting Sam 😂😂😂 💀
It was the editor afterwards, but definitely hilarious!
18:50 I wonder how much of this is driven by the ex. If she put her foot down and told her daughter that she wasn't getting back with her dad I feel like she would stop pushing. If on the other hand she is using her daughter as a therapist and telling her how much she wants him back...
A lot of allergies get worse with exposures through time. Peanut, shellfish, lactose, are common allergens that cause that so someone's mild allergy can become deadly if they keep ingesting it
You start to form memories. You can remember when you're 3. So if she was born when they were still together, she could still remember her mom and don't want to see her dad dating someone else. Kids are a lot smarter than we give them credit for do your research Sam.
That's what's so crazy they're acting like an eight year old can't remember anything from before that age and that's insane.
I personally remember very few things from my childhood especially younger than 12. My situation may be due to repressed emotions, etc.
I don’t remember the story giving details about the bio mom, but I think it’s important to know if this child is mentally unwell or needs some sort of help before judging too harshly
I’m not an expert though so don’t bash me
They are planning to have a third one!!!
I have one adopted son, one biological daughter. I absolutely never in any world introduce my son as adopted and his story is offered up only when relevant not as an explanation. I have also fostered and got lots of surprised looks and comments out and about with 5 kids, interracial placements, etc, and never felt the need to explain away my family dynamic. It’s nobody’s business let them think whatever they want the kids don’t need to pay for nosy people.
I love that you care for all these kids in such a kind way.
IT"S THEIR WHOLE CHILD NOT JUST HER EGGS........... lmao sometimes yall don't listen to what yall are reading she says they're fertilized!!!!
Last story.. Embryo and eggd are two different this.. Embryo is sperm and egg meaning that baby will be op' s and husbands.. The sister should try to find a sperm donor first..
They're already fertilized tho. So they would all be siblings genetically.
Omg those worms on the mics are sooooo adorable!!
Visitation means searching. Padding down all her pockets and searching her bags.
Wow! The brother sister energy is strong today.
You are pregnant for 40 weeks for future reference. I have heard you ask this a lot. They always say you are pregnant for 9 months because most people dont know they are pregnant until their first missed period.
Many schools in Canada are not only peanut free, but nut free. It;s been this way for a couple decades now.
Giving her sister her fertilized eggs means that is biologically her and her husband's child that her sister is simply growing. That's a lot to mentally work through that your sister is raising your children's biological siblings, and say that they're rounds of therapy with IVF don't work, she doesn't want to have to think about trying to save some eggs for her sister. She certainly not the asshole, the sister wouldn't be the asshole for asking, and she would not be the asshole for saying no.
This would be completely dependent on people's personalities and relationships with their siblings.
I'm a school bus driver and I had a little girl (elementary) that started having a feeling of peanut dust being on the bus. I assume itchy throat or something. Luckily we were still at the school, I had her get off the bus and stand next to it on the sidewalk and called it in.
The reason more people became allergic is because doctors incorrectly told people not to give young children peanuts when they have now learned that giving them peanuts early actually helps stave off allergies
The husband needs to be included in any decision about the fertilized egg(s) and the sister. This is definitely a 1 no 2 yes situation. Supposing she said yes then he would need his yes or it’s a no go. After all, his sperm fertilized the egg PLUS there could be legal ramifications I.e. child support.
My parents separated when I was around 5yo and I also wanted them to be together until I was late teen so I had a hard time to accept my stepmother.
But growing up I understood that my father shouldn't have stayed in a bad relationship.
I feel the teenager just need a deep and serious open conversation with the dad. With the dad talking about why he is no more with the mom, explain how important is the new relationship for him and reassure his daughter that even if he has a new relationship she will still be the most important person in his life.
This, but she needs serious consequences too. She isn't just throwing tantrums or misbehaving due to her wanting her parents to be together or being rude to OP. She's actively trying to harm OP with something she knows can kill her. OP was right to get out of the situation. I think the dad was letting his daughter more or less 'get away with it' because he already had a rocky relationship with her due to him dating. He needs to be firm with his daughter and show her that what she's doing is reckless and dangerous AND cruel.
Loving the rebrand, the dynamics, the stories. Y'all are my favorite part of RUclips!
OMG guys, an embryo is a fertilised egg, you don't need to fertilise an embryo again. The embryos are OPs and her husbands teeny tiny frozen babies, that's why they don't want to give them to someone else.
Adoption story: he could introduce her as his "bonus child", if he wanted to give in to his son.
OK Team, an embryo is a fertilized egg that is ready to be implanted in the uterus. Giving an embryo is tough because you are literally giving away one of yours and your husband’s biological children. If they have different parenting philosophies than you or if you don’t think they would make good parents, it would be difficult to essentially watch your child being raised “incorrectly.” I think I would give an embryo to my sister if she needed because she is very similar to me and is an excellent mother, but it would still be difficult.
Even if the wife didn’t have an affair it wouldn’t be fair for her to expect the ex husband to introduce his daughter as his adopted daughter.
The fact that she actually had an affair herself.. makes this laughable
How delusional is she
5:47 which is why she wants her parents together. She doesn't remember how bad it was.
I have faced similar things of being hated by step dau bc she wanted her parents together. Thing is, Husband and I are poly and he could have been with the mom. But they just weren't good together in a relationship.
49:53 I will say donating an embryo is very different than an egg. An egg is just the egg, but an embryo is the fertilized egg of OP and her husband, so if it takes during IVF and goes full term, it’ll be a baby. So it’d mean her sister may raise what is biological OP and her husband’s baby which may be uncomfortable
I'm so afraid of this happening. I'm allergic to bananas and avocados. If i ingest them, my throat closes up, and its a really scary experience. I used to work at a fast food place and would always go out of my way to make sure orders were allergen free when requested because I know what it's like to be afraid to eat out. One day, I was making an allergy order in a separate area, and my boss asked me what i was doing. I told her, and she berated me for taking the extra time to ensure the order was allergen free. She said she would INTENTIONALLY put allergen foods in peoples orders because "They probably just didn't like the item and were lying about it." I asked her if she was willing to play around with peoples lives and she said she wasnt doing that because she "never saw anyone have a reaction" I told her a lot of reactions occur hours after the food is ingested and she brushed me off. I yelled at her, and she told me I was being ridiculous. I reported her to HR, but as far as i know, nothing was ever done about it. It makes me afraid to tell people about my allergies, and I usually just ask for those items not to be included and just hope there's no cross contamination even though I know that can be dangerous. Allergies are scary, and i hate that people are so willing to do things like this. I'm glad OP took this seriously.
People are terrible. As the mom of an allergy sufferer (he’d already had several ambulance rides to the hospital by the time he was 4 years old) I feel for you. It is utterly terrifying watching your child’s lips turn blue and nearly fade out of consciousness. I can’t imagine what it feels like. I’m so angry on your behalf at your boss! And the fact that she wasn’t fired!
I saw an allergist suggest that peanut allergies increased when they started recommending not to give peanut butter to children until they are past a certain age. Prior to that, people would introduce it a lot sooner. I think the advice was initially changed as a way to prevent allergies, but had the reverse effect instead. The increase in peanut allergies aligns with when the advice changed.
Sounds like the husband doesn't take into consideration the wife's feelings and knocks them off as "hissy fits" Can see why he's been divorced before. Dude is a dead beat. The ex-wife should get with her best friend
The attempted peanut murking: that girl is so lucky she has a level headed dad/one that is sympathetic to her bc you know what my dad would have done? He would have called me frantically saying OP was dead bc there were peanuts in the house and to get ready bc the cops are coming to arrest me. Then he would have gotten one of his cop buddies to faux arrest me and interrogate me until I was scared shitless and then would have brought out OP and said this is why you don’t bring peanuts into the house. And it would have been effective lmao.
2nd Story: If that town is so small, most people will be aware that OP's daughter was adopted. He has no reason to say anything. His daughter's feelings should be his priority.
I love when Sam and Sophia are more like “regular” siblings 😂😂😂😂 bickering and not laughing at each others jokes 😂😂
For the last story:
1. The sister’s PCOS is not as bad as OPs (per the story). Her eggs can probably still be extracted through a procedure. She would just need a sperm donor.
2. A friend asked OP if she would give her frosties to her (OPs) sister. So, OP hasn’t even had the discussion with her sister about that (as far as we know). We don’t know if the sister even wants OP’s frosties. Though given that OP is asking if she’s an AH, I’m suspecting that the sister will or has asked for them.
3. OP can do whatever she wants with her fertilized embryos/genetic material. She is under no obligation to give them to anyone (much like she isn’t obligated to donate an organ-yes, I’m comparing the two as they come from one’s body).
😂😂🤦🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️ don't worry Sofia!! I understood what you meant! 😂
violet is a lovely name, not only as a name but the flower is lovely and a subtle scent especially next to a lavnder bush, but aslo a lovely colour
John just referred to people who are allergic to peanuts as a horde 😆😂
They are already fertilized. Not everyone wants to give their children away and its not just her decision the eggs are fertilized so theyre her husbands too
Regarding the last story, I was actually looking into adopting embryos to have children for myself. It is an incredibly big ask. Now, opinions will vary depending on a number of factors, but from my viewpoint, that embryo (which is a *fertilized* egg, not just the ovum) is the biological child of the mother and the father. It would be very strange to me if someone I knew asked to carry and raise one of my children for themselves, and even stranger to me that they would want to have my husband's baby.
I would sooner donate my own dna to a complete stranger to whom I have zero attachments than to someone close to me who I would see on a regular basis. Seeing my own child grow up in someone else's family would be hard for me to witness. If it's out of my sphere of influence, though, it could be a beautiful gift to another family.
It is unfortunate that OP's sister and her brother-in-law are going through that, but it is not OP's responsibility to step in and come to the rescue. Also, IVF is incredibly expensive, and it would feel to me like OP would basically be footing the bill for her sister's pregnancy. Again... Uncomfortable.
If the daughter was too young not to understand her dad being single, then she was also too young to remember her parents together. Being single for someone else for six years is crazy
Isn’t the eggs already fertilised?🤯 I would never let anyone have my children, it’s my kids 100% siblings… it’s not just OP’s it’s also her husband’s…🤯
It’s like giving your CHILDREN away!!!
25:25 When music started playing I was dying. XDD
Also, for the embryo story, it's not as easy as giving your eggs. The wife of my dad's cousin had fertility issues and had asked my brother's ex-wife (back then they were together) if she would be willing to give her eggs.
At first she said yes, but after she had to go see her doctor and a psychologist before donating and they refused to sign her up. After talking to her, they said that knowing that this child would be part of her would be too hard emotionally, especially if she doesn't agree with how they raise him/her or if suddenly they distanced themselves from her.
Not everyone can simply give it like that, this egg is still part of you and even if this child would not be yours, you would have the knowledge that this child is also part of you.
So to clarify about the frosties situation, op said they are planning to try for one more kid and then if there are any frosties left over have them destroyed.
Also, the sister has less severe pcos than OP
I'm an adoptee, as is my older brother, and I don't remember my parents ever introducing us as their adopted children. Mum was able to give birth to two more kids, and we were all just brothers and sisters. Nobody was introduced or treated differently
The way John said PREGNANT!!! Bhahahaha 😅😂😂😂
Edit: an embryo is a fertalized egg, its a full dna makeup of a child from both sets of parents. (Also op has worse PCOS than her sister not the other way around) giving eggs is different from giving embryos. You'll essentially be watching your and your spouse's child being raised by your sibling which is emotionally complex, vs watching a child who is only part of your dna (which is similar to your siblings dna) being raised by them.
Pregnacy is about 40 weeks (10 months) but the first two weeks of a "Pregnacy" you aren't actually pregnant. They just do that because they didn't use to be able to measure the fetus and determine gestational age, so they based it off women's last period and then the average day of ovulation is day 14 of your cycle. They adjust the dates now once you measure but they still include the 14 days prior to ovulation in your week count (which helps the weeks line up with the measurements of your uterus silly enough around 20 weeks your uterus is about 20cm and so on).
In reality women are on average actuallt pregnant for 9 and a half months (40 weeks), but can give birth anywhere from about 9 months (38 weeks and still considered early term) to 10 months (42 weeks)
I am always in the quite zone for almost 10 years. My vocals cords are paralyzed
I have a friend who walked past a food sample cart in a grocery store and the product was cooked in peanut oil.
She was more than six feet away but went into anaphylaxis and had to be hospitalized.
??? the first story. the OP said her. boyfriend. was SINGLE for six years before they started dating. not that they were. DATING. for six years before they moved in together
I think if Sophia was barren would you just give your whole extra child to her?
What y'all don't know about basic reproduction is a little frightening.
It's a whole ass adoption. Both of the biological parents would be placing their child their potential child in an adoption with op sister. This isn't one egg or eggs. This is an actual fertilized embryo.
Lmfao, why does it feel that Sam was DEDICATED to misunderstanding Sofia this whole video?
I have told my sisters I would carry their kids if they wanted. Two of my sister's have a lot of chronic pain and health problems. I would happily donate eggs or carry their baby for either of them. ❤️
But would you and your partner donate your embryo to them? Your whole future child?
For context an embryo is a fertalized egg, it's genetically an individual now
SAM STOP 😂 the first story you need to just stop, poor Sophia 🤣
Love the #uncleroger mention
I would love to know about her peanut allergy. I know a lot of people who have an allergy when ingested but don’t have a contact allergy. So they can touch peanuts but not eat them. If that’s the case for OP then I think the daughter is not trying to kill her but instead has recognized a fear of something and decided to use it to her advantage.
My adopted parents were both close to or in their 50s when I was born, so it’s always been pretty clear that I am not their biological child (I was adopted when I was 7). When my parents (dad especially who is 5 years older than my mom) introduce me as their daughter people are always like “do you mean granddaughter?” and my parents have to explain that they adopted me. As I’ve gotten older it happens less but now it’s just second nature for them to just go ahead and say I’m adopted before anyone can ask questions. People are nosey and it’s way more common to have to give context than you might think. It never made me feel bad or like I wasn’t their “real daughter” though, I’ve always been super proud that I’m adopted because my parents chose me and I chose them which is a luxury you don’t get with biological children/parents.
I would have named the baby after my best friend and given the baby my last name (maiden name … not sure if OP has taken her husband’s last name)
18:50 Not peanuts, but I have Alpha-Gal Syndrome, an allergy to meat and animal’s byproducts (milk, eggs, etc.). I’m always scared to eat out for fear of getting a reaction because of cross-contamination. I remember my mom got me an apple pie from the Golden Arches chain and I had anaphylaxis. I mainly stick to Indian restaurants, vegetarian/vegan restaurants, and cooking at home.
The worst reaction I had was actually from my cousin (may she rest in peace). She was young and thought I was faking it so she snuck a small piece of bacon in my food. I was brought to the hospital and my mom, her mom (my aunt), and my nonna had to gently teach her about why she couldn’t do that.
The first story it doesn't exactly say when the guy and the mother broken up or if this is the first relationship since the parents broke up. I mean, say they broke up when they girl was 6 then he didn't date from when his daughter was 6 to 12. I just feel like there are key information missing like how old was the daughter when the parents broke up, how long has op been dating this guy, why did the parent break up, what about the mom, has she moved on or is she still single, and the big questions about the daughter. Is the daughter life having several issues affect her life (bad grades, having to move and start over, etc), have the parents sat down with her and communicated with her about this change in her life.
But the most important question why has no one given her the harsh truth of if something happens to Op and it is cause by peanuts, there is a chance that legal actions will come down on her. One that attempted murder and two if she is in jail/prison, there is no way for her to stop her dad from dating anyone.
My daughter is OBSESSED with peanut butter! I found her one day just eating out of the jar 😂. If she could she would eat the whole thing 😂. She doesn’t like jam/jelly 😕
I haven't adopted a child myself, but my family is very large and complicated, so we rarely bother with what I call "family math." I'll give examples.
My sister has a stepson. I ONLY bring up that he is a stepson when it's relevant to the conversation, like if I'm talking about his mother or something like that. In any other situation, he's my nephew. My family doesn't really do the whole step/half/whatever distinction.
One of my aunts was adopted. I didn't even know she WAS adopted until I was a teenager because nobody made that distinction at any point. I found out when we talked about how my other aunt was her sister. From what I gather, my other aunt was not officially adopted by my grandparents because she was older and didn't want to be officially adopted. I don't have the full story there. My grandparents still included her and later her kids in family stuff, but how on Earth would I explain that in casual conversation? Instead, we don't bother. They're both my aunts. Their kids are my cousins. We also just kind of take in anybody who wants to be a part of the family, whether they're related or not. I often joke that a stranger could wander into any of our larger family events and we'd all just assume that they belonged to somebody's family and feed them.
My grandmother was married 3 times. For the longest time, I couldn't tell you who was related to me and how. They just told me they were part of the family and I didn't care to find out how. Their kids were my cousins and I referred to the parents by their names. We now use a tried and true method for extended family: if they're older, use aunt or uncle. If they're your age or younger, use cousin. Everything else is just details.
The family math gets even more complicated when you add in that my grandfather married my grandmother's twin sister! It's not as scandalous as you might think. Their relationship started many years after my grandparents divorced, the divorce was amicable, and he got my grandmother's blessing before they even started dating.
My daughter is adopted by my partner. She is always introduced as if she was a bio child
I remember when I started junior kindergarten we could have peanut butter sandwiches. Then in SK we had a peanut butter table that you could eat at away from everyone else. Then halfway through that year they stopped that. This would’ve been 2001. I was also going to add the point about allergies becoming more prevalent but Sam beat me to it lol
I'm allergic and can't eat them at all or my throat closes up. And I heard that people started getting peanut allergies because they use the protien in vaccines and started using the protien in the early 90s
My grandson is highly allergic to peanuts. He’ll go to anaphylactic shock and could die. He carries an epi pen wherever he goes and have to deal with this throughout his lifetime.
OMG 😂 poor Sophia. I felt you, girl.
I have a peanut allergy in similar severity to OPs. My house is peanut free, my daughter, partner and guests don't bring them into the house or prepare foods containing them. It's just a respect thing. Op shouldn't be having to fear that her partners child is gonna poison her. I don't blame OP for wanting to break up. If I thought someone was trying to do that, I'd dump them too. It's not worth the risk and typically with peanut allergies, the reactions become more severe over time.
My daughter is allergic to peanuts. She's only ever had the one reaction when she was diagnosed which was a severe rash. All the tests later result in immediate rashes. The problem is there's no way to know if a reaction will be minor or deadly. We take it seriously are are very selective about what she can and can't eat. Also, very few schools are actually peanut free. There is a lot more awareness and some place don't serve peanut stuff except maybe crustables (which are packaged). You can't control what other kids bring. I just tell my kid to not share food and wash her hands after lunch.
Try to think of it this way, the daugher was trying to POISON OP. Not as violent as stabbing, ect. but just as deadly? How much arsenic is ok for her to give OP? The answer is none. The only difference is OP is the only one in the house the poison works on.
The embryos story, it's not "just" donating an egg, it's donating an embryo which is both yours and your husbands. It feels like donating your own child, and it would be odd knowing you have a child out there donated to a stranger and even crazier having it growing up as a cousin to your other children. And in fairness the sister never asked for that, one friend asked if she would do it.
Woohoo more content!
Wait 8 mins in 100 views and only 22 likes????
31:16 don’t worry Sophia, I’m ctfu rn! 😭😭😭😭
My sister and I are adopted and we are just introduced as our parents daughters.
How we got there is no ones business.
I have a peanut allergy that will kill me. I constantly forget that I have the allergy and that peanuts exist 🙃
my daughters school is peanut free, one day i missread the ingredients on a package of one of the lunch items i packed in her lunch box and she was forbidden to have her lunch as it said "might contain traces of nuts" on one of the 6 items in the box, it was a white chocolate and apple lattice pie which i know has no peanuts in it as my friend who is allergic to peanuts eats it, none of the teachers told me about my mistake until the friday when i was asked why we dont just pay for her to have school meals (she is a picky eater and i didnt think wasting £12 a day was worth it when i can send a lunch with her, especially when you consider in 18 months we will have 2 in the school) i explained this to her teacher as she was handing me a carrier bag with A WEEKS WORTH of my 4 year olds lunch in it, the only item they allowed her to eat from her bag ALL WEEK was her banana as it had not been "contaminated" by any possible nuts or cocoa, i asked why i had not been informed of my mistake as i had been believing she had been eating her lunch and did not believe her when she said she was really hungry when we were walking home from school, i thought she was just saying that to get snacks which i do not allow them to have for 2 hours before meals so they eat all thier food, meaning from 8.30am when she had breakfast until 6pm when i made dinner all she ate was a banana ALL WEEK, and then at a parents evening a month later it was brought to our attention that a parent wanted to address us and ask for a new rule to be in place and asked if we could not send CHOCOLATE/DESERT items in lunch box's as her obese 7 year old child was on a diet for his diabetes and she requested us to not be "unfair" by sending sweet items he might want to eat, luckily 92% of vote was a polie FU to her, wierdly 1 week later he was suspended from school for being caught by the PE teacher for stealing 4..yes 4... 5 year olds luch boxes from the classroom during first break at 10.30am and eating ALL the contents, my daughters was one of them and i had made some homemade muffins with mixed spice (i forgot mixed spice had nutmeg in it) and had a massive allergic reaction to the nutmeg (he was allertgic to nuts apparently), so i was asked to stop senind fresh homemade cakes/bisquits and muffins in her box, my resonse was "NO" if he didnt steal he would not have become ill, they agreed but old headteacher asked if next time i check there are nothing nut related, i agreed and had no issue after including makeing a nice large cake for the old headteachers retirement present from my daughters whole class ( i asked all the parents to sign a card from the class and both teachers loved the idea and got a bunch of flowers and box of chocks to go with it) new headteachers is also lovely x
Haha, Uncle Rogers is hilarious :-)
He doesn’t seem to love her whole heartedly
Re the peanut story, if I was the dad, I would ask a police officer or judge to speak to the daughter and explain the legal consequences if something happened to the gf. It's premeditated murder.