It's good to know this might be an ask! I can see this either setting the fosters and parents up for conflict, OR being a way to get to know each other. Just depends on those boundaries and everyone's mindsets!
If you are supervising, there would likely be protocol or steps you follow. Usually you step in and address it, call the on call worker, or end the visit if needed. This is a reason that often foster parents do not wish to monitor. They want to remain neutral to the parent. Of course, every situation is different. Sometimes foster parents can be instrumental in supporting the parent and helping them achieve reunification when they are closely involved in the visits.
In my experience, it's also important to be clear on what requires intervention. I'm a pediatrician with a Master'sin InfantandEarlyChildhoodMentalHealth, and I have definitely seen foster parents who intervene because the parent handles a situation differently than the foster parent would have. Sometimes these differences are rooted in cultural expectations and beliefs. It can be hard to remember that there are a lot of right ways to interact with a child, especially when someone else's way seems odd to us.
I love your videos and found this one very helpful! However I’m in a Kinship caregiver role for my 1 year old grandson and have been supervising access for him and his 3 yrs old sibling in my home. I find it even harder to set boundaries based on pressure from workers to be the ‘accommodating and supportive grandparent’. There is such a fine line it seems between what they deem is best for child vs. best for parent, or even worse, easier on the agency.
I have supervised many visits. It’s a great way to build a lasting relationship with the child’s family. It is absolutely awkward-for me, but also for the parent, and can be for the child as well, if they’re old enough to know. That’s often true with foster parenting. You are completely correct that foster parent must set boundaries as needed. Workers are often desperate, but we have to take care of the health of our own home first. There are also situations where I’m not comfortable supervising; the workers are usually good about not asking in these situations but definitely ask about any possible concerns: safety, substance use, etc.
I was in voluntary foster care for a few years when I was younger. Background Information, I have experienced SA and MA. One thing that made me feel comfortable was having my own bathroom, because I could have 2 locked doors, so there was no way someone could walk in. I know this isn't possible for every home but having an extra lock on the bathroom door could be very useful for some older children (or younger ones who have experienced SA as well).
Quick question. Do you ever have other foster kids with other foster kids at the same time in your home. Or is it one foster kid only in your house in the time that you have them?
I love that you use the phrase "this house." Its a good way to keep your language neutral, without being confusing for the child
It's good to know this might be an ask! I can see this either setting the fosters and parents up for conflict, OR being a way to get to know each other. Just depends on those boundaries and everyone's mindsets!
What do you do if the parent acts inappropriately around the child? Just anything that might cause you to have to step in
This was my question too.
If you are supervising, there would likely be protocol or steps you follow. Usually you step in and address it, call the on call worker, or end the visit if needed. This is a reason that often foster parents do not wish to monitor. They want to remain neutral to the parent. Of course, every situation is different. Sometimes foster parents can be instrumental in supporting the parent and helping them achieve reunification when they are closely involved in the visits.
@@foster.parentingvery insightful, thanks for the clear answer!
In my experience, it's also important to be clear on what requires intervention. I'm a pediatrician with a Master'sin InfantandEarlyChildhoodMentalHealth, and I have definitely seen foster parents who intervene because the parent handles a situation differently than the foster parent would have. Sometimes these differences are rooted in cultural expectations and beliefs. It can be hard to remember that there are a lot of right ways to interact with a child, especially when someone else's way seems odd to us.
I love your videos and found this one very helpful! However I’m in a Kinship caregiver role for my 1 year old grandson and have been supervising access for him and his 3 yrs old sibling in my home. I find it even harder to set boundaries based on pressure from workers to be the ‘accommodating and supportive grandparent’. There is such a fine line it seems between what they deem is best for child vs. best for parent, or even worse, easier on the agency.
I have supervised many visits. It’s a great way to build a lasting relationship with the child’s family.
It is absolutely awkward-for me, but also for the parent, and can be for the child as well, if they’re old enough to know. That’s often true with foster parenting.
You are completely correct that foster parent must set boundaries as needed. Workers are often desperate, but we have to take care of the health of our own home first. There are also situations where I’m not comfortable supervising; the workers are usually good about not asking in these situations but definitely ask about any possible concerns: safety, substance use, etc.
That seems like it could be super awkward for the foster parent. Is this just me?
I was in voluntary foster care for a few years when I was younger. Background Information, I have experienced SA and MA. One thing that made me feel comfortable was having my own bathroom, because I could have 2 locked doors, so there was no way someone could walk in. I know this isn't possible for every home but having an extra lock on the bathroom door could be very useful for some older children (or younger ones who have experienced SA as well).
Quick question. Do you ever have other foster kids with other foster kids at the same time in your home. Or is it one foster kid only in your house in the time that you have them?
Uh...it's a no for me😅
Then you shouldnt foster.