It's best to get past any stuff so you can enjoy another person before you're 70. I spent too much time with two insecure husbands. I'm very ready for happy times.
I'm tired of always have to be the bigger person...I want to meet someone who is also willing to put in the effort. I'm done with emotionally unavailable people at this point.
Maybe take responsibility for not listening to your intuition? This is your time to find purpose & alignment. Take a dating/ relationship sabbatical. A time out. The Lord has big plans for you. Take heed and don't be bitter!
@@danilaroche1156 I have taken a break. Several years off. Just because the only guys ever interested in me have red flags all over them. I'll pass on that.
DON'T date if your life is in chaos.....this applies to BOTH men & woman. I am SICK of GOOD people getting hurt by people who DON'T have their act together....... How SELFISH is that?...... IF your mind and/or life is a MESS OR YOU ARE HURTING IN ANY WAY, and then selfishly, STOP seeking out strangers "to date" then ghost or dump them. And I don't care what the reason is. IT'S MEAN & SELFISH......STOP LOOKING FOR A HUMAN BAND-AIDE SO YOU GET TO FEEL BETTER....... I understand quite well all the reasons/excuses/hurts/fears/etc.....I have had my act together for years. When there were issues in my life, I didn't date. I don't give mixed messages and expect the same......LOOK TO YOUR FRIENDS, FAMILY, AQUAINTENCES YOU ALREADY HAVE who know & understand you for company. Join clubs, group activities, learn a new sport, read some books, plan a trip, catch up on movies you want to see....Fill your time by doing everything and anything you can, keep busy and leave "strangers you want to date so you feel better about yourself" ALONE till you heart AND mind are in a better place!!!!!!
Honestly, when they pull away, they can keep going. I don't care what they think anymore if they can't say"hey, I'll be offline/away for a few days, I'll call you when I'm back I just need some alone time. If he can't do this we have a problem with our relationship
If someone has childhood or other traumas, be understanding and let them pull away. Right to therapy or other help. Don't try to get involved, you'll both be hurt
I've been on your lives for about 2 months. I've laughed I've cried but most of all I'm learning. I am 68 years old and never thought I'd be doing this. But here. I am. And it's right where I need to be. Thank you Jonathon. I wish you were a.mandatory class in high school. I will be a follower for along time. Great teaching.
Mine just traded me for someone else very recently... He actually cheated on me. After finally being ready to be in a relationship with me. There's no excuse for this. It's selfish and made me realize he doesn't have any understanding of what true love is. Unfortunately that's the case for many people. And that just sucks.
He didn't even had the guts to tell me. I just knew what was going on. I just knew. I waited 2 weeks before I confronted him with it. I had to confront him with it... How terrible is that??? AND now he's playing out everything with her he always refused to do with me. Made me realize he's just another dick. No excuses. You don't give a woman hope. You don't beg her to have you back and then to trade her for someone else.
I feel you. Invest in yourself and self-love. Be there for you. This life is a journey and it is about us and embodying our truth- even if it hurts:be strong
It is bad behavior. Never make excuses for selfish men. I 'm a married woman writing. If you listen to some of these videos and make excuses for that behavior, you'll always find yourself as the victim being used and discarded as he pleases. Once you sniff a red flag, just move on to the next. At times, you even have to opt to be single for a while to build self love to the point where you'll get so 'allergic' to bad behavior and won't find it hard to discard them before you get attached. That way, you'll meet your match faster and not mark time while letting yourself be punctured emotionally! TRUST ANOTHER WOMAN. IT WORKS AND KEEPS WORKING FOR OTHERS TOO! The ball is now in your court!
Anyone has had issues in his/her life, but what really defines a person is how they cope with the things life throws at them, most of the time people react doing the things that they had experience to others, like if you were cheated on you go after someone and for no apparent reason you cheat on them, and the list is far too long. To me this is the most childish and selfish behaviour. I have no excuses for that. Not many people understand the best way is doing the inner work, because they know it's hard so they choose the other path.
Every guy I have ever dated has pulled away first for whatever reason..... chaos, unresolved issues, all of those things you mentioned jn this video.....This is how 99% of men operate. .....My strategy is to think like a man. Leave before you get hurt. The one that cares the most usually gets hurt the most and dumped or ghosted......Care but never give 100% and be ready to pick up and leave in an instant. No bullshit or explanations.......Most women are caring. Most men are players/ghosters/dumpers/don't have their act together/full of excuses/traumas/all bullshit/immature....It's rare these days to find a good man with integrity.
@@JonathonAslay Why not? They do the same bs to us and waste our time. I am 42 and wanted kids. All because of the men, even ones that were supposedly amazing.... just kinda give you all kinds of bs. I am the type to leave quickly when I see it. Ladies, while it sucks, you're going to be happier & healthier, by learning to be on your own. These days men are not even men. It's like going on a date with a damn chick. really what do we even need men for nowadays? We can work, have kids without them... I mean, all they like to do is play games & hit it and quit it... even the old geezers. Sheesh last guy was a gentlemen on 1st date, then started saying dumb things about how he's going to get me naked next day. I had only known the guy 1 hour, and he's saying this... then made a weird assumption I was busy. Another old dude (50's). I think they get worse with age after 40 LOL
You mentioned a few times about the guy going through a nasty divorce, and it reminded me of Dr Joy Brown. She was a psychologist based in New York City. She used to have a radio show, and I listened to it all the time. She gave great advice in my opinion. Sadly she has passed away now. One of her things was the one year rule. That when you're going through a divorce you should go through the divorce and also spend a year alone. Take time to get over all the drama of the divorce. Get to know yourself. Find out what you really love. And think about what you're not looking for. I strongly agree with this. Because of that advice I have never dated anyone while going through a divorce. I don't want to get in the middle of that! And I realize that a man will probably just run to the next woman they find. And if that's what they want to do that's fine. But I feel like I have saved myself a lot of pain just by not getting involved in that. People need to know they don't have to go from one relationship to another to another to another. It's okay to be alone for a while. In fact I think it's healthy.
@@Mockduck2020 yes. She passed away a few years ago. I really miss her! There's a group on Facebook called Dr Joy fans or remembering Dr Joy. They talk about different things that Dr Joy used to advise. She was so wise. ❤️
Happy Father’s Day to you!! This exact thing happened to me after 18 months & it was one of the most painful experiences in my life. Really good man filled with anxiety & fears but i thought it was all workable because of the goodness i saw & felt in him. The way you have explained it really makes sense now to me. You nail it 100%. Garth brooks sings a song “ask me how i know” where he sings about the man who does this. He just reached out the other night and said it was finally time he goes to talk to someone. Which i had suggested several times. I thought of what you said about being kind to them and I answered it is a courageous move to go to therapy and that I was rooting for him. Just received your book. Thank you!
Your kindness shines through your message. I'm experiencing a similar situation but have invested 4+ years. He is a beautiful soul so it's hard for me to walk away
@@elizabethgirinde8956 S. Africa has had 3 lockdowns, alcohol bans, gang violence. His area has the highest rate of Covid in all of S. Africa and it causes us great pain that this global pandemic keeps us apart. We've waited 36 months, 4 cancelled flights. He's very sensitive and affects him more than me. If he's "cheating", well, I'm not his keeper. Men chat me up but that doesn't mean he's not #1 and always in my heart. Unless you know us personally you shouldn't assume you do.
Yes, communication is very important in a relationship. So if they want a relationship, and they're unable to communicate, they're probably not ready for a relationship. Just saying
I've been leaning into trying to open my heart, but I'll admit it's hard when the other person is closed because of their wounds from a divorce. I lean in because this is what I need to do to work through my fears. This person in my life was very closed off to me last week and I asked him about it. He says it's because he's got alot on his mind, work. Ok fine, I understand. A couple of days ago, I sent him a text saying; BTW. I'M trying not to take it personal that you're closed off. Whatever things you're internally trying to deal with just know I'm a safe surface and I got your back. I wasn't expecting a response back, and I didn't get one. I sent this to him from my heart and I mean it. As much as I hate people bashing on people and saying walk away if they don't open up, how about looking at the perspective from a person hurting. What if you were going through things and someone gave you a safe space, maybe open up and maybe that person will just listen. No solutions, just listen.
I open my heart no matter what, and if they don’t wanna except it, that’s fine, I have plenty of friends and family members that love me that person is just losing out because I am a great catch! Oh well...they aren’t ready, so you consider them a great person that came into your life for however long, and for whatever reason, I think people come into our lives for a reason, and we learn something from each one of them, Sure at first it’s hard after a break up, but then a few months down the road I’m like well what was that all about ha ha Ha and then I try and remain friends, and sooner or later, all you recognize is the good stuff you saw in that person. Life is strange, but we gotta live and learn.for instance I got divorced after my 23 year marriage I thought it was the end of the world, now if I see my ex-husband with his new wife, we talk and I could care less, and I wish them the best because I can no longer see me with that person, now she can take care of him when he gets dementia 😂😀🤣
JONATHAN!!!! Here is what I wished MEN KNEW. IF YOU ARE NOT OVER YOUR EX-WIFE OR EX-GIRLFRIEND, DO NOT PUT YOURSELF INTO THE DATING POOL!!!! DO NOT USE OTHER WOMEN TO EASE YOUR PAIN!!! TAKE TIME OFF TO HEAL YOURSELF OTHERWISE YOU ARE GOING TO SUBJECT OTHER PEOPLE TO YOUR PAIN!!!! AND JONATHAN AND OTHER “RELATIONSHIP” COACHES SHOULD BE TELLING MEN THIS!!!! WTF??? ITS TOTALLY IRRESPONSIBLE TO NOT TELL MEN THIS!! THIS IS WHAT MOST MEN DO BECAUSE THEY HAVE TOO BIG EGOS TO ADMIT THEY NEED TO SEE A THERAPIST FOR LONG TERM HELP!!!!
Jonathon, wouldn't it be more rational for men to simply avoid women/relationships until they just work on their fear/issues, etc? Just leave women alone & don't put another person through their trauma
It's so refreshing to watch videos that aren't all about game playing, revenge and manipulation. Thank you, this has really changed my mood and reminded me who I really am
Kindness goes a long way. I'm friends still with some of my lasting relationships even though it hurt. But I realize the right person for me will stay . Everyone of them has trauma
You shared the fact you were alone and without your boys on Father ‘s Day, how truthful and I wish you great comfort and support from your Fan in 🇮🇪 Ireland.
You make an interesting point, and I will admit that it's tempting to respond to these men out of anger. Hurting people hurt people after all, whether they mean to or not. But at the end of the day what happened to a man in his childhood, what someone else did to him, or what life has handed him is not something that I feel personally responsible for. If he is not coming from a place where he can meet my needs too I walk away. I am looking for a man who is whole.
I love how you share Conner's love story each time and how much that loss was an adult trauma ... I havr learned only about my childhood traumas 10 years ago now learning about adult trauma is helping me understand myself and what this guy is going through the books you recommend are amazing and I especially what the heck is self love .... I've been practicing self love but now I see why I need to do it everyday thank for this amazing enlightening journey and may your grieving be felt with your own loving heart. Happy Father's Day.
You need to coach men. Most women understand the male excuses for dumping/ghosting. It's time for men to tell other men to get over themselves, pull up your bootstraps, get help, grow up, stop making excuses, don't date if you have issues, etc.!!!
I don't understand the excuses for dumping/ghosting. They're unconsiderate and immature. The only acceptable excuse for that is when a woman is actually badgering the man into a relationship and he already made clear he didn't want one with her. Many women, if not all, have been through "trauma", we have been disappointed over and over, yet this ghosting/dumping/pulling away is a typically male thing, women do it a lot less and the ones who do usually have an excuse (like they were very poorly treated by the man). So I'm sorry but I don't buy it, men do it 95% of the times because they're just not that into us. Most likely something/someone better came along. The rest 5% are because some tragedy happened in their lives.
@@MariaMedina-lj4kt thats how men show their past hurts by pulling away but women do it it different ways. Maybe they dont pull away but we may become clingy, or bitchy, or complainers, see all those things create distance too because of whatever hurts they are dealing with.
Thank you - all I always preach, it's a gift to be able to come from unconditional love when someone is acting out of pain and trauma. Let's all master this and stop judging! 💕
Most people have traumas-they need to take the risk! So many convos on this with therapist. If they don’t want to evolve and take risks, I’m not sticking around. They either work on their shit so they can lean in.
Thank you for such a heart-centred message, music to my tired ears! I believe we are transitioning to a heart-centred world, but we do have to go through the darkness first. I'm a therapist and you're the only one I've seen who actually focuses on attachment, instead of the quick to act/dump them messages. I am in a casual relationship with an emotion phobic man. I see his hurt in his eyes and feel his fear. I have chosen to be with him for now in joy, love and respect, while waiting for the man who is ready to lean into love and committment. The dating scene these days is grim, most men and women seem to have trauma driven behaviours, but as they say, hope dies last.
Forgiveness- the Aramaic meaning of the word: means to ---send away---- Send away the hurt, pain, etc......Send away the pain or keep the pain. A choice. I choose to forgive. Happy Fathers Day!
We have a choice…. To take it personally or not… to stay or walk away…I choose to not take it personally and walk away with love…. I love myself enough and I’m worthy of someone who has done the work as I have. I won’t settle but I’m also compassionate.
Went to Sam’s club, had to buy the T-Shirt .. Saying ..Be Nice 💗 and human ,To share to the world!! We are the choices in our lives,We must share light,Find forgivenesses, to be mindful of right now!! ..A self love 💗, so we can love 💗 others of course!
Aww I needed this today. Been seeing a man who just divorced and he is pulling away and it actually made me become empathetic rather than angry. Love your videos, Jonathon❤️ Happy Fathers Day
Honey, women like you would always fall victim easily. Empathetic for a man who was probably drilling some sugar walls last night?!! And when it gets sour, after a few months, you'll probably receive a very dry 'hi' text from him to start the hurt all over again. # Women deserve to get sense too! HA! If I were a man, I would have always been seeking for this type after messing up.
@@Mockduck2020 Not bitter. I'm very very happy in my marriage and just got done cooking for the sweet sweet man I call husband (who earned that side of me) which you might NOT EVEN HAVE! I just feel BAD for my gender dating with no brains or just with emotions and a 'vagina' for a brain. Reason why many keep entertaining bad behavior and caressing their pillows with tears and feelings of rejection to fall asleep. Have a wonderful day darling xoxoxo...
I have just found u and i like u because i think u are speaking the truth, men are real living beings , are humans , they feel. Lots of coaches only show men as cold sociopaths or narcissists... U have a new subscriber. Thank u!.
I enjoyed you positive attitude, especially having gone through an incredible loss! Your info helped me to forgive past hurts so I could move forward. I grew up on Maui and Ohana and Aloha does keep me centered. I volunteer in a hospital gift shop and am faced daily with o people who are going through incredible ordeals, which makes me so appreciate me life and practice forgiveness and love🙏😀🌺Ty very inspiring and enjoyed your chat😇
'Good people can be bad daters' is spot on- for both genders. We all need to read your book recommendations constantly. Self knowing, accepting and forgiving. Viva la juicy life! You sound SARK; that's a good thing BTW!
Happy Father’s Day to you Jonathan!! May the sweet memories of your son Conner lift your heart today🙏♥️ Your advice today is so good and a great reminder that we need to look deeper into why someone may act distant or unavailable instead of throwing negative comments at them or about them. Our speech should be wiser, thanks for this reminder. 🙏
Happy Father’s Day Jonathon! Thank you for giving us this video on this very special day. Young adult children with pretty active social lives is something that I’ve found forces me to have to swiftly adjust to in spur of the moment occasions. Big hugs. I finished The Hoffman Process and am grateful to be on my personal development journey, and what I consider to be a high-quality one at that, as it’s getting down to the bones. Your book is next. 💓
Enjoy your day Jonathon! Do something you love to do. I have to say I love your passion for who you are! We all need to work from the inside out. I have learned to observe everything and every situation. I truly to feel what another's challenges are, especially with my love interests. The Divine Masculine has pretty much had their world turned upside down. Their whole essence of who they thought they needed to show up as is changing. We are all in the process of balancing our masculine and feminine. It is so worth the work though, especially as we are moving into 5D.
Jonathon, I lost my son in a divorce through alienation and we now have a loving relationship because of the work I’ve done on my self. However, I now suffer in a relationship with someone who does not have any of the work and am praying daily for him. I thank you for your honest open and important work to help heal men and women. I believe with your work and others like you, we can build great families again. 🙏🙏🙏
I think people fear intimacy out of misunderstanding. A need to control the other arises, in order to try to build security around the delicate feelings. But that is an illusion. It means the ego is playing its part in the situation. Real intimacy is not an expression of the ego, but of wholeness, of the heart. And it has no fears. It is grateful for every occasion it has to express itself. It is grateful towards the recipient, with no desire to control him/her, as it views the other as holy. Like can only relate to like.. The "intimacy" people are looking for and at the same time are afraid of is more something that has to do with childhood issues, attachment, an unconscious quest for the reliable parent.
I think “real intimacy” has plenty of fears! But if the other stands with you through the sharing of them, you will know you have true intimacy together. That is how love heals all.
I’m actually going through this right now so I needed to hear this. He called me headstrong because I also pull away. We both fear being close to one another but the love is there. I haven’t seen him in almost a month. But we’ve texted and he showed me a nice picture of himself. I think we’re ok now. But I’m not sure what’s going through his mind. I know we both hurt each other though. I just hope he’s willing to forgive me and start over.
Happy Father's Day to you Jonathan,, I enjoy your videos so much,, I am 66 years old, divorced twice, got dumped 2 years ago by my narcissist boyfriend who was 11 years younger than me and I still don't know why he did it, he played all the games narcissist play, I saw the red flags, I chose to ignore them for some stupid reason never again though,, my heart goes out to you over your son as I only have one son and if anything ever happened to him I could not live, I plan to get all those books you recommend to read . I've just been trying to survive mainly ,. It's so hard when you get ghosted!
Love the shirt. Thanks for sharing your knowledge. My (long distance) fiance is pulling back after 3 years of wanting to get married at a point when I find myself ready. I found out he's dealing with family and financial issues... it's not me. Overthinking causes issues that are not there.
Thank you again for sharing this most important bit of information. I met someone 7 years ago that I have crazy chemistry with and my circuits immediately went into overload with fear! At 73 I have plenty of experiences to draw from. We have kept in touch; as I have been examining myself over and over about my feelings about 360 degrees of everything, making small amounts of progress each time. IF he feels the same way, I will be the one with the most changes to make. Thank you for sharing your perspective as a man. It is immeasurably helpful to me. Wishing you God's greatest blessings for all you do.
Happy Fathers Day Jonathon! I’ve bought several of the books you’ve recommended and shared the recommendations with other men and women to spread the message. I’m really feeling a lot of compassion for the people I’ve met that aren’t ready. Honestly, I experienced a lot of romance this past year but observed most of the men drinking heavily and pulling away. I’m sad for them but keeping things in perspective because last year was difficult for many (including me going through a breakup, lockdown, loss of job and Covid) and there is a lot of chaos in the world. I’m in a better place and doing my work to continue in my healing process. Getting more selective and asking better questions to vet before wasting time with people that aren’t intentional.
Happy belated Father's Day to you Jonathan. I experienced this recently. He was having problems with his troubled teenaged son and put his emotional walls up. I had some very painful health issues and got shitty and broke things off. He won't take me back or even talk about it. I guess I broke both of our hearts 💔 Don't take each other for granted, love is a fragile thing, be kind always and remember we're all just the walking wounded 💖 xx
I understand what you are saying it sounds great , but I’m tired of trying to understand and see humanity in everyone especially my ex I dealt with his bad behavior towards me thinking “ oh he is just injured young man dealing with a lot of stuff at work, childhood trauma and big health issues” but what about me they don’t try to see the humanity in me, my traumas my loneliness my pain, they don’t care and I had dates several guys like that one after another. At first they seem so charming and caring and so into you, but as soon as an argument or some issues arrive, they start the painful process of pulling away. That got me emotionally traumatized, energetically drained and financially ruined. I’m tired of understanding them when they selfishly only care about their own well being.
Not sure if I keep coming back to your channel because I wanna understand my ex better or because you're his look-alike so I can have a form of comfort. You're so accumulated and wise Jonathon! Thank you for being there. Sending hugs to you this Father's day! ❤️
It’s our first Fathers Day without our Patriarch. He is so missed and we are finding our way. Thanks for the validation that we all need a little guidance through these firsts.
Happy Father’s Day! Your video was helpful as always. I had to leave a man a few months ago because he was pulling away. He is involved in a lawsuit fir his daughter, stressful work situations, and I had a feeling our relationship and what I needed from him would be too much to handle. I texted him a few weeks ago to see how he was doing with the lawsuit, he texted me right away and also hoped I was doing well. Today I texted him to wish a happy Father’s Day and told him he is one of the best dads I know, and he replied thank you. I was on the fence both times reaching out, and I don’t expect this miraculous reunion. But, it felt good for me because I didn’t want him to think I hold a grudge against him because his life was in chaos. I’ve been dating and taking my time getting to know what I want, and even though I’m still getting over the break up, I feel like I’m in a healthier place. We are all human, no one is perfect.
I am sorry you were alone on Father's Day. I was alone on that day also and full of emotion because of it. It is so hard to "lead with love" when one is blinded by anger. As you say, we all have wounds. We don't realize that one might be a child looking for attention while the other is a child looking for love. It gets very confusing sometimes. But thank you for clarifying it for us. You do good work.
Thank you so much! I am sending love! Please know you are not alone! You are a great Blessing! Thank you again! Please have a Happy Father's day! Love and Light!
I just love this man, he's on his way to way bigger things through his infinite passion to what he does. ❤ I mean the mental effing strength that this takes makes him an inspiration.
I read a recent news that a 32 year old Greek pilot killed his 20 year old wife during a fight. From the wife’s diary, she mentioned repeatedly that she had hormonal issues and she expected her husband to know how she felt. She said she didn’t tell her husband how much she wanted him to stay by her to take care of her. Instead, she often vented out her temper towards her husband like punching him and screaming at him. Up to this point of her diary, I see this woman basically had big issues herself to instigate a tragedy ending in the marriage. There was lack of communication in that failed marriage. Moreover, the most critical issue was the emotional immaturity of that 20 year old wife.
Jonathan, Sun is setting in a beautiful forest, and I have successfully located the lyrics to the song I heard this morning! Here they are! May these be a comforting hug to your soul. July 1st is right ahead. I'm hoping that this bolsters you today, and carries you through that next milestone,and July 4th. "Do Not Be Afraid" It's hard to see clear when challenges appear. We get lost inside the emotions we feel. When adversity strikes us down, no need to stay on the ground Look up; Reach out. (Chorus) Do not be afraid, for He is with us, Saving us with His right hand of righteousness. So when it gets hard sometimes, We need to remember we're not alone. No, we're never alone. Just pray; Do not be afraid. He gives us friends who stick by our side. Their prayers of faith and love are always right on time. And each day when we read His Word, it gives us the strength to endure. When we are down, we'll reach out. (Chorus) Do not be afraid, for He is with us, saving us with His right hand of righteousness. So when it gets hard sometimes, we need to remember we're not alone. No we're never alone. Just pray. (Bridge) So when those dark clouds come rolling in, hold your head high. It'll be all right. (Chorus) Do not be afraid for He is with us, saving us with His right hand of righteousness. So when it gets hard sometimes, we need to remember we're not alone. No, we're never alone. Just pray ; Do not be afraid. 🌄🏞️🙏🤗 May sound overly simplistic, Yet Hearing the music, found to be a Gentle reinforcement.
Mr.Jonathan.i totally agree with what you have said but atleast the man should try and communicate and say he wants some space instead of pulling away-ghosting someone the other party is getting hurt with their actions
Awww…. I wish I would be closer to where you live, I would call you and ask you to go for a walk on the beach to relax and enjoy Father’s Day. I love the ocean, one of my passions in this world! Too bad that I live in New Jersey. Be the best you can be today and remember you are not alone, God is always with you. I know is different from having someone with you in this physical world……I understand that well, but I am alone too without having no one since the only relatives that I have living are two sisters and they live in Florida, so there you have it , I am physically alone in NJ but I am NOT LONELY, I enjoy myself and my own company. Happy Father’s Day! Jonathon, you are a great human being. 👌👌👍👍🙌🙌♥️♥️♥️🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻 PS: love that shirt, and you are both! Great message that shirt has, really awesome!
Jonathon...I had to pause this video to say that I am thinking of you this Father's Day. It is so beautiful to bring children into the world! I can imagine it is a tough day in many ways and just wanted you to know someone out here in internet land has you in her thoughts as you are not with your boys. Now back to these videos that seem to be helping me so much -- thank you :)
Awwww! Happy Father’s Day❤️Beautiful message! I give to you a ray of sunshine☀️ to illuminate your path, a bouquet of flowers 💐 to bring to you beauty on ugly days, and a basket of chocolates 🍫 to enjoy the sweetness in life. Love is all around us! You are not alone! I pray you enjoyed your day🙏🏻
I’m sorry your sons could not be with you today. I’m sure they both love you very much. I hope you are reminded of more happy memories than sad ones. Happy father’s day
Thanks Jonathan - another great video advocating for kindness. I feel it may be just easier for me to continuously wear my "nurses cap" when dealing with all people everywhere, because there's nothing like working in a hospital to show you that everybody has pain/anxiety/trauma. At least, now I'm turning some of that love towards myself 😊 Happy Father's Day, and please tell your Father that we ladies appreciate him raising such a kind man!!!
I had a dysfunctional home myself but I wouldn’t go down Rude Road with a decent human being because of it. It’s selfish & abusive. If you tolerate it count on him doing it again. And again. I have no patience with abuse. It’ll hurt, but not as bad as him doing it a 2nd time.
I love the shirt! I often think that people choose to be mean more often than kind. I have mean siblings and I do not like it. I agree with what you say about having a fulfilling relationship with oneself. I am that stage now and I love it but I have to put up with mean siblings. Only by being financially independent again and moving far away will I free myself from that.
Happy Father's Day! So sorry that you could not see your son today. I just had this pull away happen to me recently. I thank you for explaining this. I realize now that he was afraid of intimacy and had alot of chaos in his life. It still hurts, but there is nothing that I can do about it.
Glad you are feeling better Jonathon and that you took the time to do this message for us today. ❤️ Wishing you a blessed Father’s Day! This is a bittersweet day for me always as I lost my father 32 years ago suddenly when my children were seven, four and three. It wasn’t until I became divorced and started working with a therapist that I realized there was a pattern for me with men and it was the fear of being abandoned. So because of it, I’ve been on a journey - especially the last two years - and discovered dating coaches here on RUclips 😃 which I’ve narrowed down to just a handful as I am very selective! YOU are changing my life even further and helping me to be a stronger woman and speak up for what I want and need. Wow it’s been all new lately… I was doing things the old-fashioned way, always waiting for the man to direct the relationship. Not anymore! lol Time for me to take charge, well within reason. Thank you!!
You know my ex has issues he has to deal with in order to be happy. I forgive him for his infidelity because I believe he is a good person. Bottom line is I decided to end it because I didn't trust him at all. I might buy the Hoffman process for him because I want him to be happy, just not with me anymore. Thank you. 😊
A man who has been rejected a lot especially if he has Aspergers the fear is even worse especially if he is avoidant and abandonment in his past.My friend Mike has obvious fear and is really able to feel safe in a roomful of people. I pray he is able to reach out more soon.
Blaming the opposite sex when relationships don’t work out, is a lot easier than fixing your own issues. This is why it’s so important for women/men to work with a licensed professional rather than look for a quick fix recipe in a self help book.
Are you being straight w/ viewers about the fact that the motives for promoting your book (and those of friends or affiliates) are not altruistic? I don’t believe that self help books are a quick fix (or one size fits all solution) for most people, because everyone has a unique history, habits, coping methods, awareness, etc.
Join My VIP Group for $7-- jonathonaslay.com/midlifelove
Question Mr. Ashley "what do you when you tealize why the person pulls away?
I'm sorry for your loss. I lost my son too and mother's day and certain holidays are just so hard. Father's day must be too rough.
It's best to get past any stuff so you can enjoy another person before you're 70. I spent too much time with two insecure husbands. I'm very ready for happy times.
You yourself have to become an emotionally available women that’s when you attract emotional available men
I don't think age 50 is mid life. I think it's more ...... "you ain't got much time left so best find someone quick" part of life.
I'm tired of always have to be the bigger person...I want to meet someone who is also willing to put in the effort. I'm done with emotionally unavailable people at this point.
Agreed
Maybe take responsibility for not listening to your intuition? This is your time to find purpose & alignment. Take a dating/ relationship sabbatical. A time out. The Lord has big plans for you. Take heed and don't be bitter!
@@danilaroche1156 I have taken a break. Several years off. Just because the only guys ever interested in me have red flags all over them. I'll pass on that.
So exhausted
I hear That
DON'T date if your life is in chaos.....this applies to BOTH men & woman. I am SICK of GOOD people getting hurt by people who DON'T have their act together....... How SELFISH is that?...... IF your mind and/or life is a MESS OR YOU ARE HURTING IN ANY WAY, and then selfishly, STOP seeking out strangers "to date" then ghost or dump them. And I don't care what the reason is. IT'S MEAN & SELFISH......STOP LOOKING FOR A HUMAN BAND-AIDE SO YOU GET TO FEEL BETTER....... I understand quite well all the reasons/excuses/hurts/fears/etc.....I have had my act together for years. When there were issues in my life, I didn't date. I don't give mixed messages and expect the same......LOOK TO YOUR FRIENDS, FAMILY, AQUAINTENCES YOU ALREADY HAVE who know & understand you for company. Join clubs, group activities, learn a new sport, read some books, plan a trip, catch up on movies you want to see....Fill your time by doing everything and anything you can, keep busy and leave "strangers you want to date so you feel better about yourself" ALONE till you heart AND mind are in a better place!!!!!!
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Agreeeee
I appreciate your honest opinion.
Thank you !
I feel the same way
Agreed ! We are all damaged so don't hurt a person who comes with open heart. After a great date it is too cruel. Communicate instead of 👻
Honestly, when they pull away, they can keep going. I don't care what they think anymore if they can't say"hey, I'll be offline/away for a few days, I'll call you when I'm back I just need some alone time. If he can't do this we have a problem with our relationship
If someone has childhood or other traumas, be understanding and let them pull away. Right to therapy or other help. Don't try to get involved, you'll both be hurt
Hi plz do you have Instagram or fb ? Sorry if this bother you
@@Pharma_beauty yes why?
Not intimacy, they’re afraid of responsibility period!!
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Narrcist/sociopath
I'm sick of this toooooo! If you are on shakey ground, don't drag anyone onto your own private hell!
I've been on your lives for about 2 months. I've laughed I've cried but most of all I'm learning. I am 68 years old and never thought I'd be doing this. But here. I am. And it's right where I need to be. Thank you Jonathon. I wish you were a.mandatory class in high school. I will be a follower for along time. Great teaching.
Shes right we should be teaching this as a class
Mine just traded me for someone else very recently... He actually cheated on me. After finally being ready to be in a relationship with me. There's no excuse for this. It's selfish and made me realize he doesn't have any understanding of what true love is. Unfortunately that's the case for many people. And that just sucks.
He didn't even had the guts to tell me. I just knew what was going on. I just knew. I waited 2 weeks before I confronted him with it. I had to confront him with it... How terrible is that??? AND now he's playing out everything with her he always refused to do with me. Made me realize he's just another dick. No excuses. You don't give a woman hope. You don't beg her to have you back and then to trade her for someone else.
I feel you. Invest in yourself and self-love. Be there for you. This life is a journey and it is about us and embodying our truth- even if it hurts:be strong
It is bad behavior. Never make excuses for selfish men. I 'm a married woman writing. If you listen to some of these videos and make excuses for that behavior, you'll always find yourself as the victim being used and discarded as he pleases. Once you sniff a red flag, just move on to the next. At times, you even have to opt to be single for a while to build self love to the point where you'll get so 'allergic' to bad behavior and won't find it hard to discard them before you get attached. That way, you'll meet your match faster and not mark time while letting yourself be punctured emotionally! TRUST ANOTHER WOMAN. IT WORKS AND KEEPS WORKING FOR OTHERS TOO! The ball is now in your court!
@@daevisscustomerservice3965 well said!!
Just curious...did you get physical soon after meeting?
Waiting can often weed out these creeps.
Anyone has had issues in his/her life, but what really defines a person is how they cope with the things life throws at them, most of the time people react doing the things that they had experience to others, like if you were cheated on you go after someone and for no apparent reason you cheat on them, and the list is far too long. To me this is the most childish and selfish behaviour. I have no excuses for that. Not many people understand the best way is doing the inner work, because they know it's hard so they choose the other path.
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also kinda like the “Mandela effect.”
Next guy I date, I'm going to pull away before he does.
Why?
Every guy I have ever dated has pulled away first for whatever reason..... chaos, unresolved issues, all of those things you mentioned jn this video.....This is how 99% of men operate. .....My strategy is to think like a man. Leave before you get hurt. The one that cares the most usually gets hurt the most and dumped or ghosted......Care but never give 100% and be ready to pick up and leave in an instant. No bullshit or explanations.......Most women are caring. Most men are players/ghosters/dumpers/don't have their act together/full of excuses/traumas/all bullshit/immature....It's rare these days to find a good man with integrity.
Me too!!!
@@JonathonAslay Why not? They do the same bs to us and waste our time. I am 42 and wanted kids. All because of the men, even ones that were supposedly amazing.... just kinda give you all kinds of bs. I am the type to leave quickly when I see it. Ladies, while it sucks, you're going to be happier & healthier, by learning to be on your own. These days men are not even men. It's like going on a date with a damn chick.
really what do we even need men for nowadays? We can work, have kids without them... I mean, all they like to do is play games & hit it and quit it... even the old geezers. Sheesh last guy was a gentlemen on 1st date, then started saying dumb things about how he's going to get me naked next day. I had only known the guy 1 hour, and he's saying this... then made a weird assumption I was busy. Another old dude (50's). I think they get worse with age after 40 LOL
You mentioned a few times about the guy going through a nasty divorce, and it reminded me of Dr Joy Brown. She was a psychologist based in New York City. She used to have a radio show, and I listened to it all the time. She gave great advice in my opinion. Sadly she has passed away now. One of her things was the one year rule. That when you're going through a divorce you should go through the divorce and also spend a year alone. Take time to get over all the drama of the divorce. Get to know yourself. Find out what you really love. And think about what you're not looking for. I strongly agree with this. Because of that advice I have never dated anyone while going through a divorce. I don't want to get in the middle of that! And I realize that a man will probably just run to the next woman they find. And if that's what they want to do that's fine. But I feel like I have saved myself a lot of pain just by not getting involved in that. People need to know they don't have to go from one relationship to another to another to another. It's okay to be alone for a while. In fact I think it's healthy.
I agree! Give yourself alone time and practice self love and really find out what you want and don’t want in a relationship.
I used to love that show!
I didn’t know she’d passed.
I wish she was still around to do podcasts!
@@Mockduck2020 yes. She passed away a few years ago. I really miss her! There's a group on Facebook called Dr Joy fans or remembering Dr Joy. They talk about different things that Dr Joy used to advise. She was so wise. ❤️
Happy Father’s Day to you!! This exact thing happened to me after 18 months & it was one of the most painful experiences in my life. Really good man filled with anxiety & fears but i thought it was all workable because of the goodness i saw & felt in him. The way you have explained it really makes sense now to me. You nail it 100%. Garth brooks sings a song “ask me how i know” where he sings about the man who does this. He just reached out the other night and said it was finally time he goes to talk to someone. Which i had suggested several times. I thought of what you said about being kind to them and I answered it is a courageous move to go to therapy and that I was rooting for him. Just received your book. Thank you!
Hope you enjoy it... honored 🙏
Your kindness shines through your message. I'm experiencing a similar situation but have invested 4+ years. He is a beautiful soul so it's hard for me to walk away
when someone pull away after a period of time with you, then they are most of the time cheaters and have many options.
Mine is in lockdown with his mother. Doubt he's cheating.
@@foreveryoungpisces7426 social média viber whatsapp..etc
I agree with you ☺
@@Pharma_beauty and?
@@elizabethgirinde8956 S. Africa has had 3 lockdowns, alcohol bans, gang violence. His area has the highest rate of Covid in all of S. Africa and it causes us great pain that this global pandemic keeps us apart. We've waited 36 months, 4 cancelled flights. He's very sensitive and affects him more than me. If he's "cheating", well, I'm not his keeper.
Men chat me up but that doesn't mean he's not #1 and always in my heart. Unless you know us personally you shouldn't assume you do.
The person I was talking to was pulling away. So I started to pull away. Then he got upset. Can't have it both ways. Sometimes you just have to talk
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Yes, communication is very important in a relationship. So if they want a relationship, and they're unable to communicate, they're probably not ready for a relationship. Just saying
I' ve found in the past they can dish it but can' t take it.
I've been leaning into trying to open my heart, but I'll admit it's hard when the other person is closed because of their wounds from a divorce. I lean in because this is what I need to do to work through my fears. This person in my life was very closed off to me last week and I asked him about it. He says it's because he's got alot on his mind, work. Ok fine, I understand.
A couple of days ago, I sent him a text saying; BTW. I'M trying not to take it personal that you're closed off. Whatever things you're internally trying to deal with just know I'm a safe surface and I got your back.
I wasn't expecting a response back, and I didn't get one. I sent this to him from my heart and I mean it.
As much as I hate people bashing on people and saying walk away if they don't open up, how about looking at the perspective from a person hurting. What if you were going through things and someone gave you a safe space, maybe open up and maybe that person will just listen. No solutions, just listen.
I open my heart no matter what, and if they don’t wanna except it, that’s fine, I have plenty of friends and family members that love me that person is just losing out because I am a great catch! Oh well...they aren’t ready, so you consider them a great person that came into your life for however long, and for whatever reason, I think people come into our lives for a reason, and we learn something from each one of them, Sure at first it’s hard after a break up, but then a few months down the road I’m like well what was that all about ha ha Ha and then I try and remain friends, and sooner or later, all you recognize is the good stuff you saw in that person. Life is strange, but we gotta live and learn.for instance I got divorced after my 23 year marriage I thought it was the end of the world, now if I see my ex-husband with his new wife, we talk and I could care less, and I wish them the best because I can no longer see me with that person, now she can take care of him when he gets dementia 😂😀🤣
I gave my ex a safe space for years, he was so grateful, thanked me a lot, said sweet things and then dumped me :)
@@saga2828 sounds like you helped him move on 😖
Happy Sweet Fathers Day!! Thank you for being here for us at this moment,I am encouraging self love too!!
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JONATHAN!!!! Here is what I wished MEN KNEW. IF YOU ARE NOT OVER YOUR EX-WIFE OR EX-GIRLFRIEND, DO NOT PUT YOURSELF INTO THE DATING POOL!!!! DO NOT USE OTHER WOMEN TO EASE YOUR PAIN!!! TAKE TIME OFF TO HEAL YOURSELF OTHERWISE YOU ARE GOING TO SUBJECT OTHER PEOPLE TO YOUR PAIN!!!! AND JONATHAN AND OTHER “RELATIONSHIP” COACHES SHOULD BE TELLING MEN THIS!!!! WTF??? ITS TOTALLY IRRESPONSIBLE TO NOT TELL MEN THIS!! THIS IS WHAT MOST MEN DO BECAUSE THEY HAVE TOO BIG EGOS TO ADMIT THEY NEED TO SEE A THERAPIST FOR LONG TERM HELP!!!!
Yes and I wished women would do the same. This is not a gender thing, it's a human thing.
Jonathon, wouldn't it be more rational for men to simply avoid women/relationships until they just work on their fear/issues, etc?
Just leave women alone & don't put another person through their trauma
YESSSSS!!!
Bravoo 👏
It's so refreshing to watch videos that aren't all about game playing, revenge and manipulation. Thank you, this has really changed my mood and reminded me who I really am
Kindness goes a long way. I'm friends still with some of my lasting relationships even though it hurt. But I realize the right person for me will stay . Everyone of them has trauma
You shared the fact you were alone and without your boys on Father ‘s Day, how truthful and I wish you great comfort and support from your Fan in 🇮🇪 Ireland.
You make an interesting point, and I will admit that it's tempting to respond to these men out of anger. Hurting people hurt people after all, whether they mean to or not. But at the end of the day what happened to a man in his childhood, what someone else did to him, or what life has handed him is not something that I feel personally responsible for. If he is not coming from a place where he can meet my needs too I walk away. I am looking for a man who is whole.
hey Diana, how are you doing today
Well said! I like that
I love how you share Conner's love story each time and how much that loss was an adult trauma ... I havr learned only about my childhood traumas 10 years ago now learning about adult trauma is helping me understand myself and what this guy is going through the books you recommend are amazing and I especially what the heck is self love .... I've been practicing self love but now I see why I need to do it everyday thank for this amazing enlightening journey and may your grieving be felt with your own loving heart. Happy Father's Day.
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You need to coach men. Most women understand the male excuses for dumping/ghosting. It's time for men to tell other men to get over themselves, pull up your bootstraps, get help, grow up, stop making excuses, don't date if you have issues, etc.!!!
I don't understand the excuses for dumping/ghosting. They're unconsiderate and immature. The only acceptable excuse for that is when a woman is actually badgering the man into a relationship and he already made clear he didn't want one with her. Many women, if not all, have been through "trauma", we have been disappointed over and over, yet this ghosting/dumping/pulling away is a typically male thing, women do it a lot less and the ones who do usually have an excuse (like they were very poorly treated by the man). So I'm sorry but I don't buy it, men do it 95% of the times because they're just not that into us. Most likely something/someone better came along. The rest 5% are because some tragedy happened in their lives.
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@@MariaMedina-lj4kt thats how men show their past hurts by pulling away but women do it it different ways. Maybe they dont pull away but we may become clingy, or bitchy, or complainers, see all those things create distance too because of whatever hurts they are dealing with.
@@coastaldiva Anybody hurting shouldn't be dating. Period. It's not right nor fair to impose your issues on another human being. Very selfish!
@@RG-hf4et sorry dont agree with you. Dating doesnt require perfection
Thank you - all I always preach, it's a gift to be able to come from unconditional love when someone is acting out of pain and trauma. Let's all master this and stop judging! 💕
Most people have traumas-they need to take the risk! So many convos on this with therapist. If they don’t want to evolve and take risks, I’m not sticking around. They either work on their shit so they can lean in.
Thank you for such a heart-centred message, music to my tired ears! I believe we are transitioning to a heart-centred world, but we do have to go through the darkness first. I'm a therapist and you're the only one I've seen who actually focuses on attachment, instead of the quick to act/dump them messages. I am in a casual relationship with an emotion phobic man. I see his hurt in his eyes and feel his fear. I have chosen to be with him for now in joy, love and respect, while waiting for the man who is ready to lean into love and committment. The dating scene these days is grim, most men and women seem to have trauma driven behaviours, but as they say, hope dies last.
Happy Father's Day!
Hard to believe that someone like you is still single.
Forgiveness- the Aramaic meaning of the word: means to ---send away---- Send away the hurt, pain, etc......Send away the pain or keep the pain. A choice. I choose to forgive. Happy Fathers Day!
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We have a choice…. To take it personally or not… to stay or walk away…I choose to not take it personally and walk away with love…. I love myself enough and I’m worthy of someone who has done the work as I have. I won’t settle but I’m also compassionate.
Amen 🙏
Went to Sam’s club, had to buy the T-Shirt .. Saying ..Be Nice 💗 and human ,To share to the world!! We are the choices in our lives,We must share light,Find forgivenesses, to be mindful of right now!! ..A self love 💗, so we can love 💗 others of course!
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Aww I needed this today. Been seeing a man who just divorced and he is pulling away and it actually made me become empathetic rather than angry. Love your videos, Jonathon❤️ Happy Fathers Day
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Honey, women like you would always fall victim easily. Empathetic for a man who was probably drilling some sugar walls last night?!! And when it gets sour, after a few months, you'll probably receive a very dry 'hi' text from him to start the hurt all over again. # Women deserve to get sense too! HA! If I were a man, I would have always been seeking for this type after messing up.
@@daevisscustomerservice3965 wow! Bitter much?
@@Mockduck2020 Not bitter. I'm very very happy in my marriage and just got done cooking for the sweet sweet man I call husband (who earned that side of me) which you might NOT EVEN HAVE! I just feel BAD for my gender dating with no brains or just with emotions and a 'vagina' for a brain. Reason why many keep entertaining bad behavior and caressing their pillows with tears and feelings of rejection to fall asleep. Have a wonderful day darling xoxoxo...
@@daevisscustomerservice3965 sorry...maybe crazy would have been more appropriate 😬
I have just found u and i like u because i think u are speaking the truth, men are real living beings , are humans , they feel. Lots of coaches only show men as cold sociopaths or narcissists... U have a new subscriber. Thank u!.
I enjoyed you positive attitude, especially having gone through an incredible loss! Your info helped me to forgive past hurts so I could move forward. I grew up on Maui and Ohana and Aloha does keep me centered. I volunteer in a hospital gift shop and am faced daily with o people who are going through incredible ordeals, which makes me so appreciate me life and practice forgiveness and love🙏😀🌺Ty very inspiring and enjoyed your chat😇
Wishing you a peaceful Father’s Day 🦋
'Good people can be bad daters' is spot on- for both genders.
We all need to read your book recommendations constantly.
Self knowing, accepting and forgiving.
Viva la juicy life! You sound SARK; that's a good thing BTW!
Happy Father’s Day to you Jonathan!! May the sweet memories of your son Conner lift your heart today🙏♥️ Your advice today is so good and a great reminder that we need to look deeper into why someone may act distant or unavailable instead of throwing negative comments at them or about them. Our speech should be wiser, thanks for this reminder. 🙏
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Happy Father’s Day Jonathon! Thank you for giving us this video on this very special day.
Young adult children with pretty active social lives is something that I’ve found forces me to have to swiftly adjust to in spur of the moment occasions. Big hugs.
I finished The Hoffman Process and am grateful to be on my personal development journey, and what I consider to be a high-quality one at that, as it’s getting down to the bones. Your book is next. 💓
Sending you love, compassion and hugs on this Father’s Day
I cannot imagine how that felt losing your son...I am so sorry for your loss...hugs to you
Fear of intimacy mean fear of responsible about getting emotionally close..
hey Zania, how are you doing today
Enjoy your day Jonathon! Do something you love to do. I have to say I love your passion for who you are! We all need to work from the inside out. I have learned to observe everything and every situation. I truly to feel what another's challenges are, especially with my love interests. The Divine Masculine has pretty much had their world turned upside down. Their whole essence of who they thought they needed to show up as is changing. We are all in the process of balancing our masculine and feminine. It is so worth the work though, especially as we are moving into 5D.
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Not doing predatory dating apps. I’ll have to meet someone organically or not at all. Those apps are like kicking yourself in the face over & over.
Jonathon, I lost my son in a divorce through alienation and we now have a loving relationship because of the work I’ve done on my self. However, I now suffer in a relationship with someone who does not have any of the work and am praying daily for him. I thank you for your honest open and important work to help heal men and women. I believe with your work and others like you, we can build great families again. 🙏🙏🙏
BTW: HAPPY FATHERS DAY!
I think people fear intimacy out of misunderstanding. A need to control the other arises, in order to try to build security around the delicate feelings. But that is an illusion. It means the ego is playing its part in the situation. Real intimacy is not an expression of the ego, but of wholeness, of the heart. And it has no fears. It is grateful for every occasion it has to express itself. It is grateful towards the recipient, with no desire to control him/her, as it views the other as holy. Like can only relate to like.. The "intimacy" people are looking for and at the same time are afraid of is more something that has to do with childhood issues, attachment, an unconscious quest for the reliable parent.
I think “real intimacy” has plenty of fears!
But if the other stands with you through the sharing of them, you will know you have true intimacy together.
That is how love heals all.
I’m actually going through this right now so I needed to hear this. He called me headstrong because I also pull away. We both fear being close to one another but the love is there. I haven’t seen him in almost a month. But we’ve texted and he showed me a nice picture of himself. I think we’re ok now. But I’m not sure what’s going through his mind. I know we both hurt each other though. I just hope he’s willing to forgive me and start over.
Why don’t you ask him?
@@Mockduck2020 we’re good now 🙂
Lust of the FLESH, lust of the EYES and the PRIDE of LIFE, CAN BE CAPTIVATING.
Everything you said is very inspiring. Thanks Jonathan and belated happy Father’s Day !
Sending love and a hug to you on Father's Day. 😘
Happy Father's Day & thank you for all your words of wisdom... your videos have been encouraging me as I go thru this process of self-love.
Happy Father's Day to you Jonathan,, I enjoy your videos so much,, I am 66 years old, divorced twice, got dumped 2 years ago by my narcissist boyfriend who was 11 years younger than me and I still don't know why he did it, he played all the games narcissist play, I saw the red flags, I chose to ignore them for some stupid reason never again though,, my heart goes out to you over your son as I only have one son and if anything ever happened to him I could not live, I plan to get all those books you recommend to read . I've just been trying to survive mainly ,. It's so hard when you get ghosted!
Love the shirt. Thanks for sharing your knowledge. My (long distance) fiance is pulling back after 3 years of wanting to get married at a point when I find myself ready. I found out he's dealing with family and financial issues... it's not me.
Overthinking causes issues that are not there.
So so sorry for your loss....I can't even imagine 😢 💔
hey Jackie, how are you doing today
Thank you again for sharing this most important bit of information. I met someone 7 years ago that I have crazy chemistry with and my circuits immediately went into overload with fear! At 73 I have plenty of experiences to draw from. We have kept in touch; as I have been examining myself over and over about my feelings about 360 degrees of everything, making small amounts of progress each time. IF he feels the same way, I will be the one with the most changes to make. Thank you for sharing your perspective as a man. It is immeasurably helpful to me. Wishing you God's greatest blessings for all you do.
Oh pleasssseeee........Men are never scared of anything...lol...lol....they know exactly what they are doing...
I forgive my ex, who is extremely insecure. I can’t save him and I wish him the best. 🙏
I’m so so sorry for your loss, I’ve seen my mom and dad go through the death of a child.. my ❤️💔 for you ❤️
Sending love and empathy for you yesterday and always for your loss 💞🙏⭐️
Happy Fathers Day Jonathon! I’ve bought several of the books you’ve recommended and shared the recommendations with other men and women to spread the message. I’m really feeling a lot of compassion for the people I’ve met that aren’t ready. Honestly, I experienced a lot of romance this past year but observed most of the men drinking heavily and pulling away. I’m sad for them but keeping things in perspective because last year was difficult for many (including me going through a breakup, lockdown, loss of job and Covid) and there is a lot of chaos in the world. I’m in a better place and doing my work to continue in my healing process. Getting more selective and asking better questions to vet before wasting time with people that aren’t intentional.
I like that you’re asking better questions. I definitely need to do this!!
Happy Father’s Day Jonathon. You’re doing fantastic. Hope you make the best of today with the absence of your boys xxx
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Happy belated Father's Day to you Jonathan. I experienced this recently. He was having problems with his troubled teenaged son and put his emotional walls up. I had some very painful health issues and got shitty and broke things off. He won't take me back or even talk about it. I guess I broke both of our hearts 💔 Don't take each other for granted, love is a fragile thing, be kind always and remember we're all just the walking wounded 💖 xx
I understand what you are saying it sounds great , but I’m tired of trying to understand and see humanity in everyone especially my ex I dealt with his bad behavior towards me thinking “ oh he is just injured young man dealing with a lot of stuff at work, childhood trauma and big health issues” but what about me they don’t try to see the humanity in me, my traumas my loneliness my pain, they don’t care and I had dates several guys like that one after another. At first they seem so charming and caring and so into you, but as soon as an argument or some issues arrive, they start the painful process of pulling away. That got me emotionally traumatized, energetically drained and financially ruined. I’m tired of understanding them when they selfishly only care about their own well being.
Happy father's day to you Jonathan, hope your day surround by love and healing ❤🙏
I'm glad your sending love out to others. We all need that and more sometimes.🤗❤
Yes we do
Who else thinks Jonathan has the dopest t shirts 👕
Men pull away to deal with problems on their own. They're not always cheating or dating other people.
Not sure if I keep coming back to your channel because I wanna understand my ex better or because you're his look-alike so I can have a form of comfort. You're so accumulated and wise Jonathon! Thank you for being there. Sending hugs to you this Father's day! ❤️
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It’s our first Fathers Day without our Patriarch. He is so missed and we are finding our way. Thanks for the validation that we all need a little guidance through these firsts.
Happy Father’s Day! Your video was helpful as always. I had to leave a man a few months ago because he was pulling away. He is involved in a lawsuit fir his daughter, stressful work situations, and I had a feeling our relationship and what I needed from him would be too much to handle. I texted him a few weeks ago to see how he was doing with the lawsuit, he texted me right away and also hoped I was doing well. Today I texted him to wish a happy Father’s Day and told him he is one of the best dads I know, and he replied thank you. I was on the fence both times reaching out, and I don’t expect this miraculous reunion. But, it felt good for me because I didn’t want him to think I hold a grudge against him because his life was in chaos. I’ve been dating and taking my time getting to know what I want, and even though I’m still getting over the break up, I feel like I’m in a healthier place. We are all human, no one is perfect.
hey Tracey, happy weekend to you
Jonathan we love you ❣you a great inspiration to the world 🌎❤
Thank you for being so open and candid. It helps to keep things in perspective instead of judging the man or berating myself. I send a belated hug
Thanks for the message, needed this today.
Hugs to you, beautiful soul. ♥️
Jonathon, I so appreciate your honesty and wisdom. I am looking at my own reasons for being shy of intimacy. Its a deep time.
Love the t shirt, your personal share and insights 💥
I am sorry you were alone on Father's Day. I was alone on that day also and full of emotion because of it.
It is so hard to "lead with love" when one is blinded by anger. As you say, we all have wounds. We don't realize that one might be a child looking for attention while the other is a child looking for love. It gets very confusing sometimes.
But thank you for clarifying it for us. You do good work.
Thank you so much! I am sending love! Please know you are not alone! You are a great Blessing! Thank you again! Please have a Happy Father's day! Love and Light!
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I just love this man, he's on his way to way bigger things through his infinite passion to what he does. ❤
I mean the mental effing strength that this takes makes him an inspiration.
Happy Belated Father’s Day
I read a recent news that a 32 year old Greek pilot killed his 20 year old wife during a fight. From the wife’s diary, she mentioned repeatedly that she had hormonal issues and she expected her husband to know how she felt. She said she didn’t tell her husband how much she wanted him to stay by her to take care of her. Instead, she often vented out her temper towards her husband like punching him and screaming at him. Up to this point of her diary, I see this woman basically had big issues herself to instigate a tragedy ending in the marriage. There was lack of communication in that failed marriage. Moreover, the most critical issue was the emotional immaturity of that 20 year old wife.
YES I SAID EXACTLY WHAT U SAID!!!!! ON THIS VIDEO SO TRUE SENDING YOU A BIG HUG DEAR JOHNATHON
Jonathan,
Sun is setting in a beautiful forest, and I have successfully located the lyrics to the song I heard this morning! Here they are!
May these be a comforting hug to your soul.
July 1st is right ahead. I'm hoping that this bolsters you today, and carries you through that next milestone,and July 4th.
"Do Not Be Afraid"
It's hard to see clear when challenges appear.
We get lost inside the emotions we feel. When adversity strikes us down, no need to stay on the ground
Look up;
Reach out.
(Chorus)
Do not be afraid, for He is with us,
Saving us with His right hand of righteousness.
So when it gets hard sometimes,
We need to remember we're not alone.
No, we're never alone. Just pray;
Do not be afraid.
He gives us friends who stick by our side. Their prayers of faith and love are always right on time. And each day when we read His Word, it gives us the strength to endure. When we are down, we'll reach out.
(Chorus)
Do not be afraid, for He is with us, saving us with His right hand of righteousness. So when it gets hard sometimes, we need to remember we're not alone. No we're never alone.
Just pray.
(Bridge)
So when those dark clouds come rolling in, hold your head high.
It'll be all right.
(Chorus)
Do not be afraid for He is with us, saving us with His right hand of righteousness. So when it gets hard sometimes, we need to remember we're not alone. No, we're never alone.
Just pray ;
Do not be afraid.
🌄🏞️🙏🤗
May sound overly simplistic,
Yet
Hearing the music, found to be a
Gentle reinforcement.
Jonathan,
🙏🐻🤗
Addressing The Unseen Issues!!
Wonderful Indeed!!
Mr.Jonathan.i totally agree with what you have said but atleast the man should try and communicate and say he wants some space instead of pulling away-ghosting someone the other party is getting hurt with their actions
Happy Father's Day, Mr. Jonathan. You are advising many young people. Surely you are father-figure to many of us. ❤️
Thought's are with you, I get grief.thank you for your wisdom
I like this Jonathan! It's not also what it looks like, it's what it feels like. Happy Fathers Day! 💋
Awww…. I wish I would be closer to where you live, I would call you and ask you to go for a walk on the beach to relax and enjoy Father’s Day. I love the ocean, one of my passions in this world! Too bad that I live in New Jersey. Be the best you can be today and remember you are not alone, God is always with you. I know is different from having someone with you in this physical world……I understand that well, but I am alone too without having no one since the only relatives that I have living are two sisters and they live in Florida, so there you have it , I am physically alone in NJ but I am NOT LONELY, I enjoy myself and my own company. Happy Father’s Day! Jonathon, you are a great human being. 👌👌👍👍🙌🙌♥️♥️♥️🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
PS: love that shirt, and you are both! Great message that shirt has, really awesome!
Jonathon...I had to pause this video to say that I am thinking of you this Father's Day. It is so beautiful to bring children into the world! I can imagine it is a tough day in many ways and just wanted you to know someone out here in internet land has you in her thoughts as you are not with your boys. Now back to these videos that seem to be helping me so much -- thank you :)
how are you doing Nathalie
Awwww! Happy Father’s Day❤️Beautiful message! I give to you a ray of sunshine☀️ to illuminate your path, a bouquet of flowers 💐 to bring to you beauty on ugly days, and a basket of chocolates 🍫 to enjoy the sweetness in life. Love is all around us! You are not alone! I pray you enjoyed your day🙏🏻
hey Ramona, how are you doing today
@@colainebradly786 hello who may I inquire are you?
@@colainebradly786 please don’t contact me again. Thank you
I’m sorry your sons could not be with you today. I’m sure they both love you very much. I hope you are reminded of more happy memories than sad ones. Happy father’s day
Thanks Jonathan - another great video advocating for kindness. I feel it may be just easier for me to continuously wear my "nurses cap" when dealing with all people everywhere, because there's nothing like working in a hospital to show you that everybody has pain/anxiety/trauma. At least, now I'm turning some of that love towards myself 😊
Happy Father's Day, and please tell your Father that we ladies appreciate him raising such a kind man!!!
I had a dysfunctional home myself but I wouldn’t go down Rude Road with a decent human being because of it. It’s selfish & abusive. If you tolerate it count on him doing it again. And again. I have no patience with abuse. It’ll hurt, but not as bad as him doing it a 2nd time.
I love the shirt! I often think that people choose to be mean more often than kind. I have mean siblings and I do not like it. I agree with what you say about having a fulfilling relationship with oneself. I am that stage now and I love it but I have to put up with mean siblings. Only by being financially independent again and moving far away will I free myself from that.
Happy Father's Day! So sorry that you could not see your son today. I just had this pull away happen to me recently. I thank you for explaining this. I realize now that he was afraid of intimacy and had alot of chaos in his life. It still hurts, but there is nothing that I can do about it.
hey Linda, how are you today
Glad you are feeling better Jonathon and that you took the time to do this message for us today. ❤️ Wishing you a blessed Father’s Day!
This is a bittersweet day for me always as I lost my father 32 years ago suddenly when my children were seven, four and three. It wasn’t until I became divorced and started working with a therapist that I realized there was a pattern for me with men and it was the fear of being abandoned. So because of it, I’ve been on a journey - especially the last two years - and discovered dating coaches here on RUclips 😃 which I’ve narrowed down to just a handful as I am very selective! YOU are changing my life even further and helping me to be a stronger woman and speak up for what I want and need. Wow it’s been all new lately… I was doing things the old-fashioned way, always waiting for the man to direct the relationship. Not anymore! lol Time for me to take charge, well within reason. Thank you!!
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You know my ex has issues he has to deal with in order to be happy. I forgive him for his infidelity because I believe he is a good person. Bottom line is I decided to end it because I didn't trust him at all. I might buy the Hoffman process for him because I want him to be happy, just not with me anymore. Thank you. 😊
Happy Fathers Day. Thanks for being here for so many of us.
A man who has been rejected a lot especially if he has Aspergers the fear is even worse especially if he is avoidant and abandonment in his past.My friend Mike has obvious fear and is really able to feel safe in a roomful of people. I pray he is able to reach out more soon.
Blaming the opposite sex when relationships don’t work out, is a lot easier than fixing your own issues. This is why it’s so important for women/men to work with a licensed professional rather than look for a quick fix recipe in a self help book.
Have you read the Hoffman Process?
Are you being straight w/ viewers about the fact that the motives for promoting your book (and those of friends or affiliates) are not altruistic? I don’t believe that self help books are a quick fix (or one size fits all solution) for most people, because everyone has a unique history, habits, coping methods, awareness, etc.