Sad TRUTH Why Some Men Act Wishy Washy
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- Опубликовано: 19 авг 2024
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Wishy washy would be ok if the person would admit these feelings instead of hiding them or blaming the other person. I can always deal with open and honesty. I can't deal with hiding and lying.
❤
Guys whose words aren't consistent with their actions are wishy washy. They make excuses, when in fact, they may be scared of intimacy.
@@lyndylou3642 I agree. Men are ppl too with feelings and some have been affected by trauma.
@@ohhkayy8775 true, but it doesn't mean we should tolerate poor behaviour long term, especially if they don't want to deal with their issues...
@@lyndylou3642 yes, I agree.
I don't know if I have the capacity to be physically used while waiting for a guy to figure if I have any value in their eyes.
#nope
Amen. Be not the crash test dummy, nor the Petri dish.
That's why it's important to choose wisely...
Jess!! Please don't do that!! I made that mistake and now I have HPV (not the wart kind...worse, the cancer-causing type) that is harder for my body to naturally get rid of, since I am over 40. Is your life worth sleeping with him? I seriously doubt it. There is no test for male HPV, and no men over 30 have been vaccinated. Sorry to get so preachy, but I really feel it's important to get the word out there. I went through a colposcopy, then the Next higher procedure, it was okay for one year, I slept with no one, but then I just found out that it came back...it was dormant and I'm so down on myself. I dated like it was the new sliced bread for three years after I got divorced...had some great sex...but please believe me it's not worth this stress that i'm left to deal with all alone. Who would I blame or inform?? Please just think about it; thanks!! ~ G
@@gigi9301 Thank you for truth telling. The men have no worries, besides the fact they’re spreading disease perhaps to someone they actually do love and do want around. There are like 121 different strains of HPV and men could not care any less.
We must be the ones to care.
Another thing is think of the easy lays they’ve had or act upon, and how many men those easy lays have slept with, it’s disgusting.
@@chilloften Hey, thank You for your kind words. I just got a home kit that says I’m positive again for not 16/18, but another high risk type. I had a LEEP two years ago for ASCUS ( had to demand it), have not slept with anyone since...and now this. It’s SO disappointing; I’m going to try some herbals/ vitamins, then go to the real MD for another pap....Please Ladies, if you have read this far, then PLEASE be careful with your precious body. If you’re not sure that guy will be around long enough to take you to these doctor appointments, hold your hand and comfort you through something like this...then do not participate in sexual activity.
For those “fixers” among us; please remember that compassion and empathy are not codependency. You can be empathetic without becoming enmeshed. Let the other person heal- you can’t do it for them.
Exactly!!!
So true . Just because it happen a year ago doesn't mean your healed from the pain. Grief can only yelling time. There is no quick fix.
@Jenny G We can not even control ourselves. We make mistakes too. Being self-aware and accountable and apologize with the intentions to change behavior. We can't force them to love us or be in a relationship with us. It's their choice. We can give support but that only goes so far too. Boundaries.
Well said Jonathan. This is why I have taken some time off from dating and have been binge watching your videos and reading your books. I realized it wasn't fair to the people I was dating that were unknowingly being ghosted because of my own unwillingness to deal with my pain. Pain from rejection, being bullied as a child, 2 divorces where both husbands were cheating, being raped at 16, absent father and a narcissistic physically abusive mother. This makes for an awkward first, second or third date considering they ARE strangers. I have dated some very nice men, but needless to say, I have some trust issues. I am working on my self love and healing, but I am missing the intimacy of a relationship. Sometimes life just fucking sucks.
Thank you for sharing... sending hugs
That’s a lot honey. You can do it! The work.
Sending you hugs on your journey.
The word you are looking for is 'acceptance' . Meet people where they are in life and if that doesn't work for you.... wish him well and move on. Men are not bad guys, but they do need to get more conscious on the evolution of women. Had a coffee date all set up, he never showed. Texted, everything ok....nothing. That lack of respect of my time, follow thru, communication is why women are TIRED (I'm sure it goes both ways). So let's just all BE BETTER HUMANS. Do unto others...... Hugs from the CHI. 🙂
I'm deeply saddened by the loss of your son. I will pray for you that God will help you find a way to get to the other side of your grief. So so very sorry you had to experience such a horrible tragedy.
Love and fear can't reside in the same space...
Who came up with that, because kids can definitely love and fear their parents. I've taken care of enough abused kids to know.
@@katesun2957 the word of God.. It's referring to healthy love, the way God intended it... nothing toxic...
1 John 4:18 ►
There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.
@@tlc8925 Perfect love drives out all other emotions.
@@katesun2957 we're talking about adult relationships here.If one has fears,one should heal first before entering a relationship and playing hot cold games
@@tanyatanya9492 Great, become a foster parent.
Why don’t men communicate when they’re going through something? I know sometimes they don’t know, but still… it’s so rude to leave someone hanging like that. Or at least apologize when they are in a healthier mental state.
I get wishy washy when I feel someone is coming on too strong (too affectionate when I don’t know them) & especially when they make inappropriate sexual comments - then I RUN! 🤔
Thanks for sharing...
@@JonathonAslay thank YOU! BTW I was born in Hawaii & grew up in San Diego ❤️ my Cali roots! My parents owned a small thoroughbred ranch in Ramona! Just was on Maui & then Riverside! Refreshed!
Good for you!
@@vhayashi7369 thank you 🥰
@@avisnagorzanski4326 right on girl! Protect yourself! I am! Listen to your intuition gut feeling and it will never lie! Pay attention to bad energy and run!!!
I love how you explain that men are not going to move mountains for women that they just met. We have that unrealistic expectation and it takes time to build up that level of commitment. So many are teaching this and that is not always the case
Right! And I would be suspicious of someone who was ready to move mountains after just a couple of weeks.
How could he know me well enough to go all out to chase me after such a short time?
This is all part of becoming more conscious and be loving
exactly
Beautiful message Jonathon. I am so tired of the us vs them mentality that many women and men perpetuate. Nothing is more frustrating to me than when a man states “well you’re a woman so you…. (Fill in blank). And so I try very hard not to reciprocate that kind of thinking. I wish we could all see each other as human beings and stop dividing us up into categories. Thank you for sharing this. Sending you love and light. I hope you feel better soon.
awe... thank you
Sounds like being temporarily overwhelmed...and wanting support when needing to reset. Aka "being human".💞
Exactly!!!
Thank you Jonathan for being candid about men’s nature. Men chase sex from women but falling in love is an entirely different story. I guess a good sexual partner is not enough for building a foundation of a committed relationship. There are many factors to be considered.
A sense of compassion and understanding that were all just doing our best
exactly
exactly
In the last months of my marriage(we were already daling with ending it) i met a man and from the first talk i was overwelmd by him! I felt he had the same feeling that date but he was devorced already 2 years..
We started dating but never went 2 fast!! Sometimes i felt he wanted 2 run, that it went 2 fast!
I let him run..
He always came back afther some days.
For the first time in my life i was not rushing.. and not afraid because i am also dealing with letten go my first marriage...
There were weeks we didnt saw each other that much.. but i always felt that connection!
Now afther 10 months i see a big change in him but also in myself! Because we gave each other the space 2 deal with the past but also were open about ouwer pain and feelings ... oh boy, i never had such a strong connection with a person in my life!
Its sad that we always want that relationship right away! Be gentle for each other, give space and dont be afraid 2 realy learn the person before stepping in a relation...
I never felt stronger in my life about myself than now!
Love is the most beautiful thing in the world!
(Sorry im from Amsterdam so my english isnt that good)
Thanks for sharing...
It’s great to have compassion and understanding of what they might be going through. But if you are serious about dating and they aren’t ready because of their pain, it’s better to just let them work through that and have enough love for yourself to set up boundaries. At the end of the day life is all choices and you should choose yourself and your own happiness. A man or woman being wishy-washy towards you is not conducive to that.
I can’t agree more. Personally , I don’t go fully by a man’s action , non action , communication, non communication... I pay attention to the over all energy behind the person ...
Jonathan, I am so appreciative of your work and your sharing of your own personal journey as a man. You have helped me immensely just by sharing these things. As a woman, my tendency is to assume the guy has it all together; and if he's not moving the relationship forward, it's because he doesn't value it -- for some reason beyond my control. Again, thank you so much for putting a human spin on the male ways. Particularly re lack of advancement of a relationship. It doesn't come naturally to me to consider that he may have a lot of insecurity or trials he is dealing with that completely prevent him from thinking about anything else.
Thank you! I know this is an old video but it’s so pertinent to my situation. Started dating someone online and he was great until we started to get close. I finally, decided to part ways because I deserve a present potential partner. The reality is he’s grieving. He lost his 23 year old son last year and at the end of 2020 he lost his mother. I don’t think he has the emotional capacity to open his heart to something that might or might not workout.
Jonathan I love the word wishy-washy‼️
Compassion is the word
Love how vulnerable and authentic this video was today
Thanks
I lost a child, I truly understand your pain. What you’re feeling It’s normal, some days are easier than others. From strength to strength, stay strong. Jonathan.
I ordered strength bands to get my body in shape. For what I want to do in business, I need to have strength. I have 2.5 years to finish school. A man encouraged me by saying I was gorgeous now and when I reach my goal, I will be a knock out. I hold on to that as my goal vision to motivate me. My friend said to build my business and he will come along. I like going places. In fact Jonathon, I did something bold to get rid of the past trauma of sexually abusive marriage. I went to the South Yuba River, Hoyt Bridge. They have a nude beach by the river. I went Naked and was no longer Afraid😂. There were other nudists there. Talk about acceptance. Holy cow! I was freed from the trauma. The amount of vulnerability it took me. And trust. No one took advantage of anyone. And it brought the primal woman out in me. The connection of me connecting with nature and reconnecting with myself. It was awesome!!! I had no fear! - Self-love baby is inner peace. I love when you cuss, it shows your passion. ❤️
It’s refreshing to hear the male POV and I appreciate what you’re saying about compassion & understanding.
Its the guys who intentionally run hot/cold that complicate the equation. Mixed signals can be confusing, dissecting the distinction is what needs attention. Not every guy is
a player, so best kept in perspective based on each situation versus a blanket mindset or assertion.
You know what Jonathon, it is okay to feel melancholy especially after everything we all go through in the course of our lives and our life's journey it is a natural thing; However, there comes a time when we are ready to make a choice of what feelings we want to sit with or which ones we are ready to move on from. When I was ready to stop feeling my pain in the loss of someone, I would just switch my sad thoughts to the happy ones we shared because now when the thought of that person comes up, instead of tearing up, I smile when I think of them and thank them for blessing my life. :) You will get through your pain, it just takes time and readiness. That person never leaves your side, just remember that!
Are you saying;
The compassionate approach to dating contrasts sharply with the tendency to approach dating in the context of an ego- centric approach haunted by intrusive memories of past hurts but there is good reason to embrace this paradox?
You deserve a lot of credit because you're an original thinker and your advice already has made a positive difference in my life so thank you
Yes, the Egoic or Attraction-based way of" dating" sets people up for failure because emotionally unhealthy people want connection but their woundedness will eventually sabotage the relationship.
Ok, what about those men we haven't met online and that have known us for over a year? Why are they wishy washy even when we tell them directly, after their wishy washy behaviour: "ok, you know what, it's ok if you're not really interested, let's go back to just being friends again" and they say they're interested, it's just they haven't had the time/opportunity to show it, and they still act wishy washy after that?
Good question.
It's all about control.. over you, over the situation. I think if you stop paying attention to him for a while.. days, weeks.. you'll probably find the answer to your question ❤
@@bornts6988 Well, at some point, I did walk away from the situation. A few months later, he started testing the waters, and I treated him as any other friend. We haven't seen each other in a very long time because of COVID, we have been meaning to meet for a while now, but I'm mostly working from home and whenever I go to the city (for some other reason), he has a busy schedule, so...
I hear ya Jonathan, and I agree! I think it's a great message and I appreciate the clarity. It resonates with my own dating experiences.
I've noticed that it's the younger male RUclips dating coaches (Alex, Elliot,....) that try to convince women that all men just charge in full force with full confidence. I think these under-30 coaches haven't reached the level of maturity and self-reflection to see beyond their own hormonal reactions so they project their own issues on other men.
A lot of the time a woman can sense something is not right with the guy she's dating, depending on how long they've been dating. The woman might ask him "Hey, what's wrong? Do you wanna talk about it?" Then he will shrug it off and say "No, not feeling up to it now." If he doesn't confide in her, then she cannot be compassionate or empathetic or sympathetic, just a little confused & concerned. Women cannot understand you're broken from deep inside unless you communicate in detail the issue or trauma that you are currently feeling. So if you confide, of course we'll have some empathy.
I agree fully with this
You are so right. Thank you, thank you for being vulnerable, your candor and letting us see things from a man's perspective. It is sinking in!
I truly wish the dating apps had a way to clear men out who are still separated or in other states (and certainly those who are already married etc). If a man contacts me who is in another state, I ask him how he plans to travel here for dates (I never hear from them again! lol) and if man is not yet divorced, I tell him to contact me a year from now.
They get upset. I guess it is natural but if someone; man or woman, is talking poorly about an ex in the messenger, they are not ready to date and it's important to not get involved with them at this stage.
I love when you ramble! Your unbridled honesty helps me understand men and I appreciate it so much!!!
I appreciate that!
Jonathon, I knew something was up when I couldn’t hear you over my hair dryer! You are usually so animated, not today. We share a few things in common- my Connor survived his accident May 31,2016. He miraculously recovered from his brain injury, I still relive that time, especially near the date it occurred. He was not great student (understatement) but has other gifts and has his own business and, at only 26, is very successful. You mentioned your Connor’s demeanor. My Connor is unruffled by trouble at work, nasty or difficult people- I don’t know how he copes like he does but things just roll off his back. So much more, I love hearing about your son, it keeps them near. It effects you in ways people don’t understand and it is difficult to share. Please reach out if you want to talk and share. Hugs, you are a great man and inspire others.
Your son that passed hugs you every day Jonathan . That's the hurt needs to be embraced instead of pain . Use the feeling of loss when it over comes to a big loving hug from your angel in heaven that in a way is showing you the way💖💝🤗🤗🤗🤗🕊️
Thanks for that
Understand totally what you are saying..lost my dear husband almost 2 years ago...he was my best friend...trying counseling...keep up the good work and I pray for you and your dear son..can't imagine the pain of losing your child.........signed MELANCHOLY TOO
Thanks for sharing!!
Thank you so very much for sharing your own personal reasons for sometimes struggling with feelings of inadequacy, self doubt and maybe even moments of depression. And I agree there are always reasons for most people to seem wishy-washy or checked out. Thanks for the virtual hug and please except one from me as well. Take care.
Yes I lost my husband of 30 years being married coming up July 2 and 10 years ago and I still grieve a lot.. I still have not fully let it go to progress in this dating world and so very tough.. I understand so much what you are saying and feeling 🙏. Great message and I thank you ❤️
That's concerning as I'm dating a widower.. This is the hardest relationship I've ever experienced bc hes so wonderful yet so traumatized &I have to wonder will u ever be no1...
You're so on point.. I have to pray daily about how much do I have to give without destroying myself... &so far, I have a lot more empathy, patience, understanding, selflessness than I ever imagined.. I'm truly learning how unconditional love works..
Love your perspective. You are a nice man. Once again, sorry for your loss. May your heart heal from your pain!
Blessings
Thank you for being so open and honest about your grief and uncertainty right now. I'll pray for you, that you get back to your old self, Jonathon. Blessings and hugs! I appreciate your videos, they help me be more empathetic.r
You share from the heart. It’s not rambling. Good job, Jonathan! This too shall pass…the only thing that is certain is uncertainty itself..impermanence..
Lol that would be nice. All relationship's take work. Both have to give and take. Women should never just sleep with a man. Communication is always important. The man who are just my friends enjoy it when they can just talk about things and knowing that I'm not going to judge them helps. Everyone needs people in there lives like that.
Yes, give and receive...
Johnathon, I am so sorry you are going through such a tough time right now due to the loss of your son Connor, especially around the special occasions that are upcoming that you both u sed to share such as your birthday. May God send you Peace & Light to heal your heart.
Truth be told, I'm wishy washy too. And, as I mentioned before, that word "commitment" gives me some pause. Thank you for being so authentic about what you're going through right now, Jonathan. I think you can make room for closeness without feeling pressured to call her " the one".
I know what I felt with the guy I was getting to know. He started to fade but I believe it is because of inner hardships and not that he isn’t interested. So sad.
Hello Jonathon,
It is the first time I post a commentary on your page. The videos recording by you is very informative and real, providing advice for all generations. Also, I like the language you use because we have to call things by their names.
As a teacher and as a woman, I am a true believer and defender that emotional education should take place at schools, not only for students but for all communities there.
In dating, the movement should always be moving forward and find new dating pools with people aligned with us. That's why before even thinking about having sex with someone, we should, and we must be real and ask real questions. Of course, relationships are also great schools, but if someone has an inherent inability to be vulnerable and talk about their feelings, it is our power to decide if it is worthy of our time or not. In every scenario, we must have compassion, but we should ask ourselves also: does it hurts my core beliefs and respect for myself? Is this situation or this person adequate for my life? If not, be honest! You have the power to change the situation, be it to open another heart or move on without regrets because you tried.
Love from Portugal.
Alexandra
Thanks for sharing... much appreciated.
This video made me cry. Is it even possible to stop grieving a child, ever? I lost my 14-year old son in September 2015. My grief and anger over his loss still prevents me from having a relationship. I live in grief every day, still.
I understand your pain, Jonathan. Sending love.
Hi Sarah.. I encourage you to watch a video about ending grief from a RUclips account called widowers Wednesday.. He lost his wife and child and explains how he eventually ended grief❤️🙏
I always wonder how our President was able to do so well with his grief.
@@katesun2957 this has NOTHING to do with politics. With everything coming out about covid, it was a rigged election to get Trump out, if you wanted to go there. Thanks.
@@sarahcroy6212 You obviously know nothing of President Bidens background. When you find out, feel free to send me an apology.
@@sarahcroy6212 Have you done your research yet? You should know at least the minimum of our U.S. President. He lost a wife, daughter and son. My post had to do with grieving and getting on with your life, for the good of others. You are grieving, and he is grieving, yet he's also managing our Nation.
Our society in general wants things quick, fast, and in a hurry. Jobs want you to be qualified, people want their orders shipped and delivered in 2 days from across the country, etc. But what I'm learning from your channel is that emotional maturity is something that just doesn't work that fast. With either men or women. I've definitely learned to be more gentle and less judgmental, regardless if the person and I will work out. And that means relationships of all kinds.
When you're watching Jonathon talking in a calm soothing tone with earphones, when all of a sudden an ad with a loud voice takes over & you have to lower the volume...grrr.
That's a bummer... sorry
Just happened and it scared the bejesus out of me.
I really love your honesty and sharing your vulnerabilities also - that is a great gift to share coming from a mans viewpoint.
Seeing you so sensitive touches me very much. Feel embraced and held. I am sure you will also find what you give and help others to find. Peace, understanding, love and a home in another heart!
This is my favorite video to date Jonathan... rambling.... getting choked up... your complete transparency is why we love you so much. As far as the message....wise words indeed!
Jonathon, I am so sorry about the loss of your son.
You are so right. What men and women need is more compassion, understanding and patience. And less judgmental mind.
Maybe empathy? You give me so much confidence in myself when you show me how We are all hurting one way or another. You’ve also made me really understand how needy I can be. So I’m not healed. But I feel I’m coming out of it.
Thanks for sharing...
Yes. Thank you, sir. One loss triggers another, another, another. Much grief.
This is normal grief. It teaches us compassion and humility. I found my husband dead in the bathroom 41 years ago. With 3 kids. No one understands grief unless and until it's happened to them. So don't expect other people to. They can't comprehend it. After much grief therapy, I've given up trying to connect with people. So it's like a speed bump, you just step over the subject and carry on in life. Not to worry.
Jonathan, I read this and made me reflect on my own grief and wanted to share. "Grief is like glitter. You can throw a handful of glitter into the air, but when you try to clean it up, you'll never get it all. Even long after the event, you will still find glitter tucked into corners, it will always be there - somewhere." My Dear, my heart is heavy for you. Just know, I will say a prayer for you that you will somehow find strength and comfort when you hurt for your son. I appreciate your openness and being real. Hope your week is good and thank you for your videos.
Love this... thank you 😊
I’m very sorry for the loss of your son. Tight hugs and strength to you to get through this time. Grief of a child is complicated to say the least.
I agree! I feel it is me when the man I am talking to gets distant. I fell not good enough for him. I am holding on for dear life to the hope we will get beyond his fears and insecurities and also my own insecurities and fears. Thank you for this video. It speaks to me and my current situation.
Hi! I totally enjoy your videos. I am a woman and I am wishy washy which may seem odd to some men. I haven’t dated much since 1990, for I was married for 28 years before separating and I lost my 23 year old son in 2017. It’s very difficult and I am not great at flirting and kind of clueless to this new dating dynamic. I have been trying to put myself out there. I feel for you and I actually do not expect men to move mountains but what I do face is men being intimidated by me because I am extremely independent. I have a great job, as well as my own business I successfully started last year and I also have a RUclips channel I started as a hobby. I really would like to find someone to date and spend time with.
I treat everyone with respect and kindness. I treated a guy with the utmost respect and he burned me and played me.I feel hurt,but I'm not changing who I am and how I am towards others.I let him go.I have been working on myself inside and yes I have been wishy washy ,probably all of that stuff.But I'm really going within and more self love to myself and what I want,but also on a more spiritual path .
Thanks for sharing...
@@JonathonAslay Thanks for the video's and being real.💖
So sorry for your loss! It must be very hard. God bless
Awww, Man. So sorry for your loss. 💋💕💋
Thank you for being so raw.. transparent.. people criticize when we feel like this! I have given up on dating!
Thank you for being so honest and real.
I try to conclude what you say and hope that I get your ideas right. Some men or women who have gone through traumas or emotional wounds are not ready for commitments like a marriage unless the current relationships have grown strong after some years that help them heal themselves. Before the relationships are long enough to prove great understandings and supports, men would act wishy washy towards commitments like a marriage, so do women. They simply need time to heal themselves completely and we can’t blame them as bad dates. If I am wrong, please correct me.
Thanky you so much!! You seem so vulnerable and open in this video, Good luck for you from Germany. C.
I appreciate your honesty. Cannot imagine how long it would take me to get over your kind of loss.
There are two kinds of pain. Existential..hurt from the outside..loneliness, heartach, helplessness is a normal human response. What isn't normal is for us to blame ourself or put ourself down that is wounded pain that stems from childhood Wounds. That needs healed. Self compassion is showing up for both sorts of pain. One will get healed and the other we will get through. Thanks Johnathan for sharing your heart..sending you love. 😘
True that it takes time to get to know each other...Men Rock and I love them. Each one of us is human... I believe it's brave for men to speak from there heart. Since we still as a culture don't see men has feelings. 😔.. Emotional health is important to our mental health. I've lost good men to suicide , we must make it safe for them to speak their truth.. Keep up the good work Jonathan..
Thanks for sharing...
I love your ramblings :)
I was picked on pretty bad too most of my childhood... Freckles, glasses, braces, short hair looked like a boy, chunky..... Etc so developing a sense of humor was my defense to block all of that. I can look back now and see it all as a positive because working through it and coming out the other side stronger with the addition of a sense of humor and empathy, I won that battle within myself. Part of me wishes I had continued with my stand-up comedy routines after high school. My senior year I actually did a dating advice routine for our yearly talent show 🤣😂 It rocked!
I have just fallen in appreciation and love for you and your message! Thank you so much for speaking so real about men.. your info is super helpful. So real. The wisdom you are sharing here is really helping me so much. I send you peace for your grieving heart. I lost my mom a year and a half ago. I understand.
Compassionate empathy & understanding for one another - are the words I think you were looking for
Is it advisable for a woman not to date a man who is still suffering emotional wounds? I guess so.
Because we all been played and burnt in a relationship. Non commitment is saying. You go be you and I'll be me. If we can get together and have some fun and be real. That's one thing. Locking down for the duration is not the solution to all your problems. Acceptance is the key to all the problems.
I'm so sorry about Connor. My son has seen about 50 doctors that don't know what's wrong. I hate having my birthday being around Father's Day.
A lot of guys are liars, and they are not hurting. In fact, they don't care how much their lies may hurt others. Ramble away. I don't lie.
Sadly so! There are even you tube channels that train guys how to "sleep with a woman on first date", or even how to sleep with a woman without dating...Yikes!! I couldn't resist commenting on one knuckle-head's video...Hey You Guys...Please Don't Fool yourselves into thinking that any of these tactics will actually work...Do us all a favor and hire a pro (escort/prostitute) if you're only into sex. Be Honest!! Stop trying to Scam people!!
You have such a kind heart. Your words are so true. Thanks for being so honest. Please hang on in there Jonathon 😔☺️
You were perfect. I love that you can share your emotions. I understand 100% I also lost my son, he passed Memorial day of 2018 he was 31. I struggle everyday and can be wishy washy when interested in someone. Healing oneself is key but so difficult. Thank you this is very helpful. I wish you peace 😊
After 2yrs, I still don't expect him to move mountains. We are both independent people and will try our very best to be at events we need to be and to be there as much as we can. That's all we can do and expect- we're human. ❤️❤️💯💯
Thanks for sharing...
Thank you Jonathon. Sending love to you right now. I appreciate your transparency and vulnerability 🥰 you weren't rambling. You helped me to give some thought to a man who cancelled our only second date but it hurt still.. the medical condition I have atm he couldn't handle, yet he's known about it for 2 weeks.. chronic fatigue. He lost his dad two months ago and an ex had chronic fatigue so he realised he didn't want to go through that again with someone else. I need to not only show compassion for myself but also for him. Bless you for showing me that today. 🙏🙌👌🏻🤗😘😘💟
Do you mind talking about it? People used to say I should be a cruise director, because of all my energy. If I had a cup of coffee, it would look like I was on drugs. After my hysterectomy, that left. Now I give myself estrogen shots, but something else is missing.
Feelings are fluid, so true. Bye the way, I love your loud voice now. It's you. I love myself and others. I just have a lot of stuff going on too, and don't want to drag anyone else into it. A guy said he would read one of your books with me. We've just met once. What do you recommend first? I can't believe you're on 5 dating sites. I didn't have time for one. I'm not on any and haven't been for the last month and I've had more guys ask me out then I have in the past. I've said, no, to them. One I'll go out with, he said he reads books and would enjoy reading the same book and discuss it.
I’m definitely feeling what you are saying Jonathon sending a hug to you ❤️
right back at ya
Would you possibly be able to do a video on “con men” “relationship con & money”. I have been by conned by someone & let me tell you they are very clever & by the time you work out what has happened so much damage has been done. I don’t wish to go into details but it’s very upsetting. I would like to think I am no fool & could have picked it & sadly I never. Men can come across with all the right things that has them appear genuine & legit yet behind it all it’s nothing but lies & deceit. I would think it would be helpful to perhaps warn women out there or the signs as it’s a very cruel experience
Av gone thru the same dear
I am sorry to hear that darling
@@KimberKimber-jj9ec please help me. I’m in the same situation where a man is borrowing $15,000 from me to buy a business Aug 1. I’m taking the contract to my lawyer & see if we need any changes. I personally know the people, the seller and the buyer. The buyer is using an insurance policy as collateral. What bothers me is that the buyer has been living together with his girlfriend & her 4 kids for 2 years. She has the money, but he is afraid to ask her for it. Recently they both were screwing around on each other. She kicked him out, but now they’re back together & have forgiven each other. What a mess. I still think he should ask her for the money & use the same contract details. Please respond to me!
@@maudmuller2031 all I can say is don’t have anything to do with it!!!! By what you have written it seems like your being conned by the both of them. Seeing a lawyer is good but it doesn’t get you your money back. Once it’s gone, it’s gone darling
I like your Saturday videos the best. I appreciate your candor and courage.
Do you mean Sunday? lol Thanks for sharing...
I’m taking your correction into gentle hands because you are hurting. Yes, I appreciate your weekend messages the best.
You are such a breath of fresh air! Thank you for being YOU❤
I appreciate that you recognize your own melancholy and know you’re in a positioj of needing self love… the question I have is, are you pushing away those you do find a connection with? Those who might love you?
I send you healing love Johnathon.❤️
I'm new to your videos and I am really enjoying them. I just started reading "if the Buddha dated", so far so good! I'm a recovering codependent as well and I love Gary Zukav, so needless to say I resonate with you! I would like to get more active in the midlife love mastery group but for now I just wanted to say that I'm so, so sorry for your loss. Sending you lots of love and light.
Love you Jonathon - thank you for being you and sharing with all of us.
You are so on point.
Thank you
But Jonathon,
Love is a decision, a choice, a direction.
Angst and fear, and fun & happiness are feelings and thoughts, not present moment.
So what about this reality?
Anyway it’s nice to hear from a man, all of your “things” and all about you.
You especially help me with a HUGE loss I let go down, but you remind me that it was not a human life. I’m so sorry for your loss.
Thanks for sharing...
Hi Jonathan
My deep loss happened in 2015 but I am ready to move on after inspection. No more dating sites for me. When you have healed somewhat takes time you will take a chance again. Hugs, Deborah
I would like to add the word “wise “to what I said before So having wise compassionate empathy & understanding for others
Super compassionate video, from your heart. I loved it, Jonathan. I appreciate your great insights. Much love 💕
Jonathon, sending you kudos! Thank You for being so open. You know this video is really on time. I’m sure this hits home for many women.
It is so easy to fall into self doubts and insecurities. This video really helps to see a different perspective. Not that it makes it less painful when you come across someone who is just not ready or not in the place to open. But at least this gives understanding “it’s not you”
You are such a wonderful soul! Hang in there! Love you! Bear hug to you as well!🙏
I appreciate that!
Points taken. You are so right!
Very touching video Jonathan. Thank you for putting this message out there. We need more of this. I am so sorry you are feeling a down. I get it and we are here to also support you! We are all battling these things. I am personally fulll of love and just want to give as many people this love however, I do find some people seem to prey on me. I am learning to set barriers and learn to express what is important to me. Your videos help tremendously.
I love the perspective you provide.
I believe the word you're looking for is compassion. We as women can sometimes be so selfish and caught up in our needs and not understand that a man has needs as well and especially emotional. They just mask it more than we do. I'm learning so much in this time alone that when I do get in a relationship I will be more compassionate and understanding. Today makes 5 years since I lost my husband to death and I am ready to love and I am going to love so much more deeper and with so much more transparency
Be carefull with being compassionate and empathetic.
Men are seldom feeling this with you. They will use you, when they feel , you are compassionate and empathetic. You will attract users, abusers, narcissist, sociopaths, psychopats, machiavellians...and others with real mental disorders.
I have been that way all my life.
I only attracted the wrong and dangerous ones. This men where attracted from a mile towards me. I am 50 years old. I wasted my youth, time, soul, health, beibg like that.
Please, be very, very allert. Trust your gut.
Men need a strong woman, who do not accept any crap. Women, who just accept nothing unacceptable. Women who inmediately stop contact, when men behave very wrong.
This coach is very friendly with men. But he forgets, the terrible experiences women are dealing with men and humans. He forgets to tell, the terrible, dangerous experiences women have ( and their children, pets...) and how women get killed even, every year.
I love to hear this coach. Put he is very unrealistic and tells not everything...
I do not know, why he does not tell, the terrible stories, murder, abuse, pedophilia, and other stories, where women abd children where victims of..., and how to spot them.
This coach should also talk about heavy stuff.
Bless you
@@heide-raquelfuss5580 we all have to understand in The game of Life and of love we are going to be hurt but it's up to us to protect our hearts. No one else can. We know how far to go and to not ignore red flags
Blessings ❤️😊 you are loved Jonathan you share a lot of good wisdom to help us through the tough times ☺️ l have been working on my spirituality which gives me strength.
I think for both men and women - just stay off each other and dating. Instead of going into long term therapy and doing the inner work, both men & women are trying to fill the void in their life with sex and intrigue.
This is exactly what I need & believe, resonates 💯% 🎯💔❤️🩹💝
Unfortunately he has been wishy washy for years now.... I feel I’ve been both patient and sympathetic to many factors including his depression and anxiety and him being 7 years younger than me. It’s true it’s mostly been at a physical distance but we’ve known each other 14 years now. And he’s 33. I finally just told him it’s not that I need the full fledged commitment of a relationship ( I’m very content being single and living with my special needs son who is now 21 and wIll always live with me) but I can no longer handle being treated casually when we have been intimate. Haven’t heard from him yet. I didn’t mean to pressure or be unsympathetic to his plights but I can’t be intimate with a guy who then leaves and doesn’t talk to me for weeks after having communicated with me daily for 7 months.
Thanks for sharing...
@@JonathonAslay thank you I just hope I made the right decision. I love his company so much and I know he does care for me to a level and that we have to accept people as they are.... but I’m trying to learn the importance of boundaries and self love too
You have been more than patient. Look for others to date. YOU ARE NOT A PRIORITY IN HIS LIFE. HE HAS MADE THAT CLEAR.
@@RG-hf4et thank you very much yes he has you are very right. I told him he can check back in with me in the future when he was open and available. It felt good to take that stand. I just want to say that he and I had what I thought was understanding finally but his treatment of me as late as not honored that which is why I’ve drawn the line. Thank you🤗