After the breakup (accepting they’re gone)
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- Опубликовано: 6 сен 2024
- Kasey writes, “Hi Susan. Your wisdom has been helping me immensely. Thank you for all you do. Q: On/Off Ex and I mutually broke up 2 months ago b/c lots of arguing. Ended on kind terms, said he'd be there if I needed him. 3 weeks later, I'm blocked. Hurts to think I may never hear from him again. I regret my role in things and sometimes think to write a letter. Thoughts? Considering b/c it was mutual. Thank you.”
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I miss him so much but I have enough self control to not reach out to him.. I know things will not change.. Still hurts nonetheless 💔
I can recommend you to a man who heIped me bring back my ex permanent he can aIso heIp you
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Do you need instant help(? I can recommend you to someone who helped me restore back my broken marriage; and I believe he can also render you help too
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The only way conflict resolution works is if both parties have the humility to admit mistakes…..if one does not want to communicate or admit guilt as often happens, you’re with the wrong person anyway.
Do you need instant help(? I can recommend you to someone who helped me restore back my broken marriage; and I believe he can also render you help too
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Yes! I’d studied and used those techniques for years. Eventually my highly defensive/can-do-no-wrong partner said we “had to do something about the conflicts” (which really consisted of him giving silent treatments or blowing up/shouting/throwing things) and so I tried to introduce the idea of us doing a conflict resolution course together or reading some articles on fair fighting, using I statements, active listening, being a team against the conflict rather than fighting each other, etc, and he got massively offended, raged, insisted he didn’t need to learn anything and told me I was the problem and ended the relationship right then 🤦🏼♀️ . Now I wish I’d brought up the idea a year earlier
@@XoxoMS At least now you know what to look out for. Someone who doesn’t want to grow with you in the relationship is not a problem you want to entertain.
It's been a month we broke up and I feel I finally accept it. After grieving, crying, and wondering what I could do. Now I let it go and I start to focus on my new self and what I want to become.
Christine, I’m sorry for your break up. But I’m very happy to know that you are on the other side of it’s difficult focusing on your new self.
@@SusanWinter Thank you Susan, your videos have helped me a lot through all these and I appreciate it!
@@Christinefisher7
I was like this before I know who can he:lp you out text he now. He can solve your problems:: don't waste your time here: you can get ex back::+:1:9:7:2:5:3:4:8:3:9:9 whatzzp me:
i cant eat i cant study i cant do anything a feel so sad and anxious
Send them a final message for you to feel better and close the chapter forver. Accept it. That last msg shud have a clear msg how much u loved them and how much they ignored you ,wish them the best and accept. And have self respect not to contact them at any cost
That can be very helpful in order to clear your heart and mind. Even if you never give them a note or send the message, it is important to gather your feelings. If you are going to send them one final message, you need to be clear that you need this to be the final message and to not reply back (if that’s what you truly want and is the healthier thing to do)
My soon to be ex husband left me nearly a month ago and that pain was excruciating but looking at our relationship, it’s better that we broke it off. I love him immensely and I miss him so much but our relationship just wasn’t working
It’s scary getting used to a life without them, but on the other side is surely a happy and positive life.
The latter is what you need to focus on. The fact that you realize that it’s going to be a much more positive situation is so important! Your halfway to healing!
@@SusanWinter I can’t thank you enough, Susan. In one of your live videos you addressed my concerns and that helped me move on with life. You’re a blessing to many. Keep growing :)
Hello Mr ( Wilson ) he is the best when it comes to recovery relationship. He was the one that helped me
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If I block someone I do this because I don't want to hear from them. I don't want texts, calls, emails, letters or smoke signals. I want silence.
That makes sense. People block former partners for a number of reasons. Sometimes it is essential in order to move on.
Just broke up with my boyfriend and this video couldn’t come at a better time! Dealing with dumper’s remorse right now, but trying to feel better by trusting myself. Thank you Susan!
Hi there Raven. I’m so grateful that this video popped up today for you and I truly hope it provided some help
You made the right decision. I am sure of it.
Same
I just went through a breakup last night and he flat out told me it was my fault bc I picked an argument and that no one would ever want to be with somebody like me… this was literally one day after telling me that he loved me and wanted us to go to therapy.. I’m blocked today and I’m just so hurt.. I feel baited by his therapy suggestions and abandoned today.. this is so painful and confusing
Hope ur doing ok now
I can totally relate. I was trying my hardest to communicate well and got accused of arguing and tons of other things that didn’t even make sense. I feel so discarded and abandoned and even punished.
@@DeemMeBeautiful I’m sorry you’re going through this. I can tell you now 7 months later that you will get through that pain and be just fine. You will be able to accept it’s over & see that that person didn’t love you nor deserve you & they don’t need to take up anymore space in your mind & life. I’m so much happier now and I know you will be too. You’re not alone and you deserve real love. ❤️
Three year Engagement and living together for two years ended by text from him a month ago today, and blindsided me. He was traveling for work and sent the text late on the first night, then quit communicating. I had to decide my next steps quickly. Half of my energy is spent on accepting that text and the why he would do this like this. I have not contacted him although I have so many questions, and I’m entering the anger stage. I am still in disbelief. This kind of ending really messes with a person’s view of their self-worth. Your videos help. Thank you.
I can recommend you to a man who heIped me bring back my ex permanent he can aIso heIp you
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I've been through so many breakups the last few years. They're so hard and hurt so bad.
These videos and comments help, thank you.
Finding the gem from the relationship is a great analogy. My break up sucked but I got so many gems from it over time, just learning a ton I didn't know. When you find those and grow, you won't really wanna go back to who you were before you owned those gems!
Beautifully said! It’s great to hear that you were able to find nuggets of gold from your breakup. As I always say, they are going to be tools in your relationship toolkit!
Hello Mr ( Wilson ) he is the best when it comes to recovery relationship. He was the one that helped me
This is a familiar one for me. There's a part of me that knows the person isn't right for me. My brain knows why since it's gone over the person's deficits and verified they exist. Then there is the part that misses the person no matter what. It's like the outlets are permanently there just waiting to get plugged into again. Meeting other people has helped me. It helps to diminish the importance of the person after the breakup. Mark Groves says you can't go on to your next partner if you're tethered to someone else and severing those ties to the other person has helped.
Knowing the person isn’t right for you is one of the first steps in moving on. It’s totally natural to feel torn between wanting to move on and knowing your worth and missing someone or their presence. It will get easier over time. There’s someone out there for you that’s substantially better than your ex and when you look back a year or so from now, you will realize how much you’ve grown. Best of luck, Ronald!
I got blocked after more than a year of a friendship. Last text was me calling him out about his bad behavior. Some days I still miss him.
It’s ok to miss someone - even the ones that didn’t treat us right. The important lesson is to know your boundaries with friends who can’t take criticism- I’m guessing it was constructive criticism. But either way his ego was bruised and saw it as a sign of disrespect by you calling him out and it may have been out of character for you. If you’ve placated to his every whim in the relationship you had or the friendship- that’s not a true friendship that can last.
That’s completely normal but you did the right thing of blocking him. By doing so, you’re not allowing yourself to get distracted and have left the path clear to happiness!
Susan, I think she was blocked if I read that right.
Hello Mr ( Wilson ) he is the best when it comes to recovery relationship. He was the one that helped me
08103378310⏯💕💕
You're great. Whenever I needed you will be there.
Love this comment! Thank you so much
Setting boundaries, learning to say no. ❤️
💯
Almost four months and I’m still just as hurt. I’ve made lots of changes and have pushed myself but this hasn’t changed my love or longing.
?? What abt now honey you're good
@@malak7858 I’m better but not over him really, he keeps reaching out to me and that hinders my progress. Thank you for asking 🌸 how are are you?
Holding on to someone who is done and not admitting that break up has happened will hinder someone from potentially good partners out there and leave someone hurt, broken and bitter
Do you need instant help(? I can recommend you to someone who helped me restore back my broken marriage; and I believe he can also render you help too
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Whtzpp him***
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@@affokpolambert3924 and who is he?
What if they want to remain single and are happier being single and not with anyone else. You forget that fact.
Man .. this woman...as much as she is an absolute goddess just watching her videos 😍...the wisdom she puts forth about making sure you learn something from every relationship successful or unsuccessful and taking it with you and applying it to other relastionship or other parts of your life . That is really great advice . Honestly I could listen to Susan Winter all day long . 👍
Wow! John, that is one of the kindest comments I have ever received. You’re an absolute gem! It always makes me so happy to hear that I’ve had a positive effect on people’s lives! Thank you so much!
Hi Susan, I tried in every way but my efforts were rejected. Nothing can equate the awful deeds he deliberately did to me. I had to walk away so I can heal both mentally and physically.
Now when I look in the mirror I see the real me and not a shadow of myself.
I remain optimistic for a brighter future it's always good to have hope and an open heart. Thank you ❤🙏🏼
Hi Mel, you did the right thing. I know how frustrating and painful it can be to give your all to try and make a relationship work. I’m very glad to hear that you knew when it was time to walk away and are on the path to self healing! Great things are ahead! 💕
@@SusanWinter
Thank you Susan, you are amazing ❤🌹
Hello Mr ( Wilson ) he is the best when it comes to recovery relationship. He was the one that helped me
08103378310⏯💕💕
This video just popped up in my feed for some strange reason. Maybe because I’m going through my loneliness phase, but I would take this state any day over heartbreak and emotional pain.
I’ve Been through this so many times that I lost count, but perhaps this video popped up because the universe wants me to be humble and grateful I’m not going through this now.
May you all be blessed and healed from your loss and hurt. I’m sending well wishes of brighter days to all that are going through heartbreak and pain.
Do you need instant help(? I can recommend you to someone who helped me restore back my broken marriage; and I believe he can also render you help too
💕💕💕💕
Do you need instant help(? I can recommend you to someone who helped me restore back my broken marriage; and I believe he can also render you help too
💕💕💕💕
Whatasapp him****
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I knew a relationship was over a few years ago when I didn't even want to resolve the conflict, despite having poor to no conflict resolution skills. That feeling never changed despite learning those skills and many other relationship skills thanks to Susan's videos and therapy.
the emotionally broken ex whom had traumatic problems . Was always highly guarded and cold towards me. I never want her back because she took me for granted. She even threatened to ruin my career and life. Man wtf. Hope she doesn't find another guy to screw over
Thank you for this video. Your words and voice are so encouraging, and such a warm loving personality. I wish the mourning period could be skipped! I want to get on with it already. But no matter what it has to be taken and processed how it needs to.
Thank you for being such a wonderful follower! You are totally right that you can’t skip the mourning period. It is so essential for healthy healing. 🤗
Wanna cry when the moment I saw the video title. Watching now!
Do you need instant help(? I can recommend you to someone who helped me restore back my broken marriage; and I believe he can also render you help too
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I hope it helps! 🤗
Susan, You look lovely today! So pretty.
You’re so kind! Thank you!
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Susan you are so classy! thank you for being so wonderful!
This is so healing just perfect, Thank you may God bless your heart.
Hi Susan…..agree with everything except if you’re dealing with a narcissist. There is ZERO negotiation with them.
Great timing. What a perfect message to hear right now. Thanks Susan. You are amazing.
I’m happy to hear that the video resonated with you! 🥰
Hello Mr ( Wilson ) he is the best when it comes to recovery relationship. He was the one that helped me
Once again. A whole new perspective I nvr thought about. Thank you Susan
There is a guy that I like. We’re in the getting to know each other stage. We get along well together. Being more relaxed has helped us to have more fun in our conversations. With me, I tend to get excited when I meet a potential partner and I don’t do enough fact finding about the other person and their life. I’m trying to let things happen naturally, but most of my relationships with guys evolve into friendships. It’s funny you said give it a year and see what happens. Will keep you updated.
Do you need instant help(? I can recommend you to someone who helped me restore back my broken marriage; and I believe he can also render you help too
💕💕💕💕
Whatasapp him***
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The person is gone. I don't think that I will ever fully accept it. How do accept the disappearance of someone you've been around since age 12? Over 40 years.
I’m so sorry to hear that you’re going through such pain. Time does help heal all things but you do deserve closure if they walked away out of the blue. If you can’t get it, then you create a healing plan to help you move on. Self care is so essential and remembering that despite this person being gone, you’re still you and deserve love and respect. Anyone that can go MIA after 40 years is not worthy of you.
@@SusanWinter Thank you Susan.
This is amazing, thank you so much for the advice. I never thought about this, the gift of an ended relationship. It's such a great perspective, and it comes from a much better place. Thank you!!
I've said it before and I will say it again..
Susan, you are the best!
Following this advice and living it.
Hi Nina! Thank you for being my personal cheerleader! I’m so happy this video resonates with you and you found it helpful! 😚 🤗
Do you need instant help(? I can recommend you to someone who helped me restore back my broken marriage; and I believe he can also render you help too
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I was celibate for eight years then i met him on a dating site. First time id ever been on one. Ten months later he still has women around him and hes still not sure im the one he wants to marry. So i finished with him today as I seriously dont trust him and im not waiting to see if i am THE ONE any longer. As im writing this im thinkIng how stupid ive been!!! Im 56 going on 18 Still believing in love. Hopeless romantic that i am.
@@affokpolambert3924 Im leaving it into Jesus's hands 🙏
Hi there! I’m so sorry to hear about your situation! It sounds like you did yourself a massive favor by ending things. You should never be in someone’s stable when your a prize winning mare!
**Mare or Stallion ❤️
@@SusanWinter Thank you Susan. You have a very sound mind 🙏
This is the closest story...
That's like mine...
I prayed...
The Holy Spirit let me know that...
I am not going to have anything that will take me away from Jesus Christ and His way 🙏🙌🦋🤍
Why these messages come like God’s sent ? This is exactly what I have been wondering. Being friends with ex’s who you have on/off pattern, has to stop.
😘 It can absolutely be a challenge or a set back!
Hello Mr ( Wilson ) he is the best when it comes to recovery relationship. He was the one that helped me
08103378310⏯💕💕
Perfect timing!
Oh I love reading this. There is an awful lot of synchronicity on this channel and it makes me very happy when the right message comes at the right time
@@SusanWinter thank you Susan! 😊 you truly do make a difference 💚.
Do you need instant help(? I can recommend you to someone who helped me restore back my broken marriage; and I believe he can also render you help too
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Such a good speaker and you’re also realistic
Great advice - thank you so much, Susan! All the best
Thank YOU! I hope you have a wonderful week! Thanks for tuning in!
Hi sister. May god bless you 🙏
Do you need instant help(? I can recommend you to someone who helped me restore back my broken marriage; and I believe he can also render you help too
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🤗 same to you!
I just simply love you ❤️🙏🏻
Hi there adventure tube! Thank you for your ongoing support. I love seeing your name pop up here in the comments and I truly enjoy having you as a part of my RUclips family
Do you need instant help(? I can recommend you to someone who helped me restore back my broken marriage; and I believe he can also render you help too
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Hi Susan. I ended a 20 yr relationship 10 months ago and I’m still just SO sad. And I ended it. How can I deal with these emotions. BTW- he already has a serious girlfriend. Ugh.
My ex has moved on. She's out partying with new guys. I'm just broken. I feel pathetic missing someone who cares so little about me. Hoping time will help.
Thank you Susan for another helpful video, if I may ask, where can I learn communication skills for future relationships? I want to better myself. Thank you so much in advance
How can I learn conflict resolution? I googled it but I didn’t see classes I could take etc. This ending was the worst one of my life because we had a house and were planning to be permanent. We just couldn’t resolve conflicts.
love you..thank you for helping me as usual
Do you need instant help(? I can recommend you to someone who helped me restore back my broken marriage; and I believe he can also render you help too
💕💕💕💕
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I adore your support! I’m so happy to hear that I’ve been able to help!
Ive just said goodbye to someone that i love because he moved to ny and i live in london. We knew since the beginning that this would happen, but we ignored it and we wanted to live our connection to the fullest before leaving. Now im broken, because I know that we both want to be together but we are on totally different pages and there was some kind of innocent hope about getting back together but it’s impossible. I told him to not be part of each other’s life anymore because i cant take it.
so how can i get over a relationship that has ended because of an external cause?
Im watching all your videos and you are helping me a lot.
Thank you so much ❤️
08103378310⏯💕💕
Ugh I dumped him on Feb 13th of this year and I just want him out of my mind & stop making up scenarios & slightly hoping I’d run into him. I’m sooonglad I had the courage to leave but i just want to fully move forward
Hi Rose, I promise it will get easier and the pain will ease over time. Continue to do the inner work and make sure that you are surrounding yourself with people that love and respect you. I’m glad you had the courage to leave a negative situation. The universe will reward you for taking a step that was necessary for you to live the healthiest life. 💕 ✨
Do you need instant help(? i can recommend you to someone who helped me restore back my broken relationship', and I believe he can also render you help too
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hi, susan! i’m young and currently going through a breakup. i don’t know how to feel and what to do. talking to adults scare me because all they would say is “you’re too young to feel that.”
it hasn’t been a week since we separated and i’m really lost on what to do. staying in quarantine/lockdown isn’t really helping and i have no one to share my thoughts and feelings with withouth annoying them or being a burden.
your videos really help me paint a picture on what i should do but i’m having trouble following and committing to them. does anyone have any tips on what to do after a very recent breakup?
Hello Mr ( Wilson ) he is the best when it comes to recovery relationship. He was the one that helped me
excellent advice, susan!!
Thank you! Glad you found it helpful!
08103378310⏯💕💕
Right in time ♥️
Whtzpp him***
So glad to hear that!
Writing the letter helps to unburden you but make that clear in the letter. When I dumped the ex, and he wanted me to come back, I said, "I regret dumping you but I'm not coming back. It is over-over. May God bless you to either find someone else or rely on God". Let it die and move on. Do not revisit with any ex. They are gone. Do not expect them to ever come back. Yes, it hurts and it may always hurt for some. Forgive them. Wish them well. Hope for them to get better and be at peace with whoever or wherever they will end up with. Maybe, perhaps, if you reencounter each other, you can learn to become platonic only neighbors and friends with the ex in future, but do not accept them back. You can learn to live them. You can also learn to live without any person EXCEPT God. Rely on Him and He will get you through - no matter how tough, painful, it is. I speak from personal experience - you can get through this and not have to rely on bogus quackery like psychology or New Age "energy" nonsense. God is the healer, rely on Him. Amen and God bless! ^_^
Iv accepted it.. I don’t like it and I always feel like I wanna reach out to her because I feel like it will spark the flame again. Ik it won’t but that’s how I feel
Hi George, It is totally normal to want to reach out after a breakup but I advise that you do your best to maintain the distance. Otherwise, all the healing that you have done (or will do) will be negated and you might end up right where you started!
@@SusanWinter thanks for the reply ur the best ) I totally agree I just want her back and I feel that reaching out is the only way.
Thanks!
THANK YOU!!
What if the other person failed your trust over and over again, but is unwilling to admit it? How can I get over it. I really liked him and in theory I want to make up. But well I can't make up alone lol. Only chance to be with him was to accept all his mistakes like they're nothing, but that's not an option. So I am just alone with this desire to make up but I can't do nothing. How do I forget or accept the whole thing?
I have the same situation kind of.... im stucked with my thinkings and regret of all my mistakes. I apologized because unburned me but now he totally disapeared
I have cried every night for a month straight since she left me. I really loved her. I don’t know how to move on. I can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel. How do I stop thinking about her and how can I move on and be happy again?
It’s takes time brother. I wish I could tell you a magic fix but it’s just time and you have to ride it out. My ex left me for another man four months ago and we have a two year old daughter. It’s been the hardest time of my life. She now has moved in with him and wants our daughter to live there with them half the week. So he not only destroyed my family but he has my daughter in his house. I have had to just let it go. I think it will end in dust for them especially moving in after four months and a two year old throw into the mix that isn’t his but whatever I don’t care anymore as long as my little girl is safe. They are welcome to each other.
thank you so much!
Do you need instant help(? I can recommend you to someone who helped me restore back my broken marriage; and I believe he can also render you help too
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Whtzpp him***
Do you need instant help(? I can recommend you to someone who helped me restore back my broken marriage; and I believe he can also render you help too
💕💕💕💕
Whtzpp him***
+2349050804927
My ex broke up with me a month ago he said he needed space. Then i said i missed him he never responded, then i asked if i could get some clothes that i left at his place, he sent it to me in a container with all my stuff i had at his place as if to say it's officially over. It broke my heart because i didn't know why he did that. I tried so hard to not argue with him I really wanted things to workout. I thought we could communicate and talk things through all cause of a plate in the dishwasher that I didn't put in the dishwasher. It was my fault cause I should have tried harder to work things out instead i got mad cause he said I had daddy issues cause i told him he is acting like he is my dad. I honestly didn't think it was a reason to break up. I just go over it in my head. I am trying to learn from this i think there were underlying issues. I just want to be able to let this go.
There was Anthony FIRE some where that was a lame excuse to break off the FRIENDSHIP. For what it's worth you can be with someone 30 year's and still not know them.
Breakups are of the devil
Good morning!
Good morning JLynn!
Whtzpp him***
Hi susan, your video helps me alot but hiw to do if my partner have kids and i am close to them. Should i stop contacting them as well? Thank you
Wh@ts@pp him
Hello Mr ( Wilson ) he is the best when it comes to recovery relationship. He was the one that helped me
❤
Hey Susan it's been 10 years since I and my girl got seprated.. She has moved on, with another man. I'm still stuck on her. Idk what to do?
Amen
😊
+2348103378310
Apology or last say
Hi, Susan!
Can I ask for advice?
My boyfriend and I are taking a break. We love each other and our relationship has been very gentle and nurturing, but we had a fight after he told me that I'm not feminine enough, I answered "okay then, I'll try to be more feminine, but I won't pay for any of our dates anymore" (he has financial struggles and I didn't mind paying, also he doesn't allow me to pay when he has the money). So, my words hurt him bad. We've tried to patch things up, talk through the issue, I said I'm sorry a million times, but he can't get over it. So, we're taking a break. Is there a right way to do this? And maybe you have additional advice regarding my situation, I'd be very grateful! Love your work❤️✨
You have indeed said something rather tactless, but if you are remorseful then I see no reason why that should be held against you for so long. After all, your partner too said something tactless that extracted such a reaction from you. One of the basic tenets of a healthy relationship is forgiveness and conflict resolution with a positive outcome in mind. Only you can decide how long you want to walk on eggshells, and how long you allow him to 'punish' you. Good luck 💛
So he wants you to pay for everything which is taking the masculine role of the provider, then he tells you you are not feminine enough and the his ego can't cope when you remind him of the fact that he can't be the provider and never forgives?
Doesn't sound very good to me.
I had to break up with someone who couldn't get over a comment that wasn't that bad but I apologized a lot because I didn't mean to hurt his feelings and he said it's fine but he wasn't fine and brought it up over and over and over again.
I can't speak for your situation but if it ends up to be like this then be happy that he disengaged and let him lose.
I think he is hanging on that one thing because he doesn't want to do it. He obviously was using you to pay for things and now it's brought out into the open he can't deny it to himself. I don't think this has very much to do with you, and anyway feminine women shouldn't pay! You might want to check out a channel called School of affluence. Best wishes!
@@ipsygypsy16 he says that he forgave me, but he can't forgive himself.. there is a bunch of things that made me say what I said, most of them have nothing to do with him. I'm not justifying myself, but I am full of regret. Should have told him about my worries beforehand, now he thinks that he's a male "golddigger".
@@jlina no, he wasn't using me, we were a team and I had his back when he was in trouble and vice versa. I just think he got a little mindless when it came to money.
These tips are so deep 👍🏻
I just ended a 6 year relationship and I'm having dumpers remorse. He reached out asking if he has mail 📬 I replied 'Yes, when would you like to pick it up?'
That was over a week ago and he read the message but didn't respond. I'm not sure what that was all about, but whatever... I'm super confused.
I'm just working on myself and my career. Even though I broke it off, I miss him. It's hard, but I'm growing and that's what's important. Thanks for your videos I'm a new subscriber.
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Hi there, Anka!