They dumped you (and moved on with ease)
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- Опубликовано: 24 июл 2024
- Lorna writes, “Hi Susan, could you please do a video on coping with a breakup where an ex has moved on with (apparent) ease? It's been 6 months and we were together almost 3 years. He moved in with me and ended it 2 months later. He hasn't contacted me at all and I'm blocked on social media. I'm trying to let myself grieve but I'm still in disbelief over his lack of care. Thanks for all that you do. X”
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This is because the dumper had a backup aligned. Once they finalize, they dump you and move on easily. While it’s a shock for the dumpee. But remember, what goes around comes around.
Do you need help ?I can recommend you to someone that helped me get my ex back he can also help you just as he if mine too
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Whtspp
FACTS... KARMA
That was what happen to me..
I've read somewhere that grief is just love with no place to go. So true, I think we can all relate.
Hi Lisa. Great comment. I love it
@@SusanWinter Merry Christmas dear Susan!
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it's not, it's just your ego needing validation with no place to go. Why the pain. Just accept that you can be happy without his validation. truly, You don't need man to be happy. he aint that special either.
@@fireeye33 @Cewek Boston I was thinking of grief in a more general context; when your spouse dies, when you have to bury your child, or yes, even the loss of your partner trough divorce. Losing a significant other can be akin to death. You must mourn and grieve that loss. I think in most cases, validation has little to do with it :) Generally speaking, that is.
He has issues, not you. Some guys even think they spare you by cutting contact quickly and not «dragging» it out, when in fact what you need for closure is an open, honest conversation
Isak, closure is so important. Thanks for bringing this up
Yessssssssssss 👏👏👏👏👏👏
Susan, this video is really helpful. And Isak, helpful point.
Narcopaths do this ... discard you like you never exist . Shallow ppl
@@victoriavitoroulis3273 100% they only care about themselves...always.
When my 7 year relationship ended, he left without ever coming back. I dealt with selling the house by myself and I just couldn't believe how little he cared for me anymore.
Worry no more my dear.
I can recommend you to a powerful man who helped me back then at chaos in restoring back my broken 💔 relationship with my ex partner in less than two 💕 days.
W$tsap.'him now...
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People can be very cruel.
My first relationship lasted 7 years, sudden cut-off for no apparent reason, no closure (never really got over that a person could seem to love so deeply and suddenly do that). I've since learned "they're not yours, it's just your turn" and to never fall in love deeply again.
The first guy i properly dated rejected me after a couple of months, it hit my confidence and since then I'd often try to understand what it was about me that he found unattractive. But when I reflect on the relationship I realise that there was a lot more about him which I do not like, but was too blind to see it at the time. The rejection was a blessing in disguise. Not that he was a terrible person, but simply that we were not right for each other and he may have realised this before I did.
Oh how true this is.
Force urself to exercise
I made my own little different exercise routines , they are the only thing that helps me get some relief , I got that heart is in my stomach feeling, not as bad as it was , but I still think of her constantly, she already got a new guy, that’s how she always was tho, I probably pushed her into his arms so I got that to
I empathize! He didn’t give himself a chance to get to know you. His loss.
Been through this Hun, problem is HIS not YOURS. Yes likely you weren't a great match but your a Queen 👑 Remember that. No man should be put on a pedestal . ❤️
@Bobs Slong She's reflecting and assessing on a relationship that didn't work. I'm guessing brain is incapable of that thing called reflecting.
Many times in these cases you’re dealing with someone with an avoidant attachment style, and beyond that, it could be borderline or narcissistic personality disorder. These people can unconsciously switch off their emotions, and move in very quickly. It’s happened to me. Very sad.
I was ghosted by someone I knew, for quite sometime. We weren’t sexually involved, but he knew that I liked him, and took advantage of this. I could never treat another with such disrespect & disregard. I have learnt from the toxic lessons he has taught me, & celebrate him ghosting me, as a blessing in disguise. Everyone pays for the wrong they have done to others. Stay strong everyone🙏
YUP beyond that can be borderline or maybe narcissistic personality disorder. very sad and very evil too
same happened to me with a narcissistic person! We have been together for 9 years and he broke up through text massage and just after 3 months he got engaged to another woman! And 4 weeks before he got engaged he told me he still loves me and misses me...evil people
@@symkoko1776 thats just fucked up
It’s so sad to lose the one you want because they simply don’t have the skills and aren’t prepared to work at self-improvement (which is the earmark of a narcissist who are already perfect in their own eyes)
They left you along time in their head. They emotionally detached from you before they physically left.
Let them go. Why pursue someone who wants to get away from you?
Best comment I've read yet!!
100% Correct Something a Narc would do. Move on there Loss. never let them back in.
Let the one who wants to stay go too. Why pursue someone who wants to be near you when you deserve better and don't have to?
@@EmilyGloeggler7984 this comment is asinine
This comment is my whole relationship summed up. A month before the breakup , he was totally 100% convinced that I’m the one and I’ve made his life more beautiful and awesome a month later , I get to know he’s detached from me because he wasn’t happy our entire relationship . And hence ended up becoming my therapist in consoling me that everything would be okay , just take care of yourself! ridiculous shit
This comment is dedicated to everyone caught in between hope and
fear for the next year. Hugs.
This happened to me a year ago. We did not even had a conversation in which we stated that the relationship was over. He simply ghosted me and I had to assume we were over. It was very, very hard. Not having any explanation or a goodbye was driving me crazy, and I spent one of my saddest holidays grieving something I could not understand. In less than two months, he started a relationship with a woman I suspected he had feelings for, but he denied it in the past. He even took her immediately on a vacation abroad. He displayed it all on social media. It took me months and a lot of therapy to give myself closure and understand he was selfish, immature and probably narcissistic.
"I know of a souceser who can help bring him back within 2days and without 😶 delay.....💯💯💯💯
"He has just helped me few days ago and it works✴✴💯he does a perfect job
W$tsapp him now💯💯💯💞
+234~7014=812~494???❣❣❣
@@thompsonhudson6568 I don't want him back
They are trauma dumpers.
They dump their trauma and dark energy on you, cleanse themselves.
That's how they move on so easily.
They feel great now that they've got to release that baggage.
While you suffer, they're riding off into the sunset with the new
partner.
Say NO to abuse.
they are also called people with narcissistic personality disorder
@@symkoko1776 100%
Do these people ever get it back??? (Karma)
@@christinawahlmuller1142 yes. always. even if you do not see it.
Trauma dumpers, that fully describes these kind people.
I just want to be the same before this heartbreak..people should guard their hearts carefully, heartbreak can leave you so devastated..3 months later and I still think of him
"I know of a souceser who can help bring your ex back within 2days and without 😶 delay.....💯💯💯💯
"He has just helped me few days ago and it works✴✴💯he does a perfect job
W$tsapp him now💯💯💯💞
+234~7014=812~494???❣❣❣
☹
This is so great. Exactly what I went through a year ago. Three words: immature, selfish, cowardly. It's disappointing to admit to yourself that someone you love is a coward, but if that's what comes up for you when you take a good , hard, honest look at everything, then the best thing to do is embrace as truth and realize that, yes, it is on THEM, not on you. We are not responsible for their behavior. I also realized last night that pain and vulnerability have power and sometimes the people we love just can't handle our ability and willingness to be vulnerable. Alot of times that is why they leave. Susan is right, it will come back to him later anyway. ❤❤❤
thanks for your share!
Very well stated. It stinks when a "grown ass man" still acts like a coward but it is on them to GROW UP.
yup their love and ability of love or even the understanding of it can not deserve ours, simple fact and we shall just help ourselves to realize it.
@@kathleencarosi2343 haha exactly boy will always be boys. we women needs to learn that guys has some good qualities indeed but we should never dream of they can be more than what they have. when our expectations are high on the wrong person. we often feel a bigger grief that it should when they end things like a baby,
I just experienced it too two days ago and it hurts like no other pain 💔
Someone that moves on reveals how little you meant to the person, even though that person said (lied) otherwise. That's the hurtful part. Disrespect and apathy suddenly.
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Hello it's works I can't believe am with my lover again contact him..
Hello it's works I can't believe am with my lover again contact him..
If everything appeared to be okay and then he just decided he'd had enough, well the man had been lying to you. All I can say is don't try to work out a liar because you will never get to the bottom of a liar.
They lie to themselves. That's why they are convincing. They actual believe their lies. If someone believes something strongly, it's not a lie to them and refute all evidence that contradicts their beliefs.
so freakin true man !!!
@@marleyhill34 Thats deep! I never seen it this way bc of the convenient behaviour of these types. So, they lie and aren't even aware they do.. Thats an eyeopener for me. Thanks! 👌
@@mdmmalou I think about half of people know that they are lying and the other half actual believe the lie to them it's not a lie. The only way to get people to see and admit the lie is to point it out to them. Half will realise and admit that their lying and the other half well they will tell you that grass is not green because they don't believe it to be green. To everyone else it is green but to them it is not in their reality. Some people call this delusions. Others call this cognitive dissonance. And still others call it dissociation. Whatever it is, some people have checked out from reality and getting them to face reality is a long up hill and often fruitless battle. That's why they always say chose your battles. If a person is not receptive to changing and turning their mind and looking at and understanding other perspectives, they will be stuck and so will you be if you continue on pleading with, entertaining and enabling them.
For me when that dumping happens for no reason it usually means they had other women on the side and one of the other women manage to steal him away by convincing him. They can leave if they want. They usually end up regretting to be with the other women. But I'm not there for any of them if they come back.
Yep ....I 👍 agree
Totally agree. It happened to me. I told him that he will do it again like his father disappeared on his mother. He was shocked but it was the truth. I am not going to wait for someone to come and go , better to be alone
I second that. The vast majority of people are afraid of being alone so if they left for no 'apparent' reason, you can be sure they monkey branched to somebody else. People almost never quit to be alone. Most people prefer to be miserable than be single, so they either line up a replacement or be miserable forever.
@@nailpolishinhale I find it hard to trust a man for that reason. Too many of us women are easily available with this online dating business as well as the guys that I don't care for
SO MAKES SENSE. TRUE N WELL SAID.
Yes I been here. Had to give myself closure. Yes it hurts!! But with time this will fade but you won’t forget how this person treated you! Goodluck ❤️
Good for you in finding a way up and out on your own.
@@SusanWinter Thank you❤️it was the hardest thing I had to do! But I’m glad I did it. Took awhile but I love the new person I am.
@@ToniDaniels1275 this is terrific
@@SusanWinter Thank you so much! This is an experience you have to grow through for yourself! This can’t be taught or duplicated by another! Yes I still have flashback but would never go back! A few of your videos help me understand that certain men are not met to have my feminine energy!! Now I see clearly☺️ thank you again for your insight❤️
@@ToniDaniels1275 same has happened to me, my fiancé 4 months ago- no explanation. It’s the cruelest breakup I’ve ever been through but boy do I love the woman I am today 😊 it’s changed me for the better. We are mighty 😊
I’ve been in this situation on Labor Day with my ex when she broke up with me at a sushi restaurant 2 weeks after we went spent time together at the beach. What I’ve learned from that situation is that you should always make yourself a priority spend time with people who truly appreciate, understand and value your energy, time and values. We may never know what kind of issues that they’re dealing with, but people shouldn’t be treated less than have their time and energy wasted like that, but I could be wrong about this 🤷🏾♂️. Many blessings to you all of you reading this 🙏🏾💯.
Yes, and yes!!
@@SusanWinter 🙏🏾🥰💯
You are so correct
@@terrilee734 I really appreciate your feedback Terri. I’m just sharing my story & my truth 🙏🏾😇💯.
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Most men start to move on from the relationship while still being in this relationship. They have the though of a break off way soon, but they carry it around until completely emotionally cut of from their partner. So I read from another relationship expert. 😊
I agree! I broke up with someone and moved on with "apparent ease" because I was already unhappy and felt disconnected in the relationship. I had already " moved on mentally and and spiritually" before I did physically because I didn't feel like I could be myself and felt that we weren't compatible enough for a long term relationship. I did secretly mourn the death of the relationship though.
most...NOT ALL THO...Don't brand all by the actions of few...it happens to good hearted,good souled males too...DON'T FORGET THAT...!
mine proposed then broke up 2 months later...He said he just didnt know who he was as a person. we were together 3 years.
Yes most men have another woman lined up as they don't like being alone.
@@pam164 So fun fact.... it was his ex..
Thank you so much .....I have been there, though we never really dated but we really liked each other few months of getting really closer boom the ghosting began. I grieved for almost a year but I moved past it. Breaking up and moving on with ease,without regrets or emotions, no form of care......they moved on long before breaking up. Make yourself a priority and love yourself more.
Make yourself a priority and love yourself more. PREACH
Same happened to me recently. Had a long time "dating" period sadly. Then I shared the bed with him, regretfully, and noticed he was suddenly distant etc. He was cowardly in the sense that he didn't end it himself. I came with the proposal cause I noticed we had gotten distant. It hurt. It hurts. But I can overcome this. But you're right we can't love another if we don't love ourselves. This is my time to love myself and work on myself
Just wanna also say...it is also the same for males...in same sitches,Lorna & all...
Sometimes even when they’ve given us a reason to end the relationship it doesn’t necessarily give us the closure we need. Susan is spot on here. We have to take that step in ending it for ourselves only then will we begin to look after ourself rather than waste time on him/her.
That’s what the ex did, but instead she falsely played the blame card and falsely accused them and agreeing that they are so-called “narcissist” when in reality that doesn’t exist and it’s immature, selfish, and ignorant. The wise person would wish them well and say God bless!
Typical behaviour of a narcissist. You are suffering cause of the trauma bond. Heal, love YOURSELF and move on.
Narcissism doesn’t exist - it’s an invention of the atheist based psych industries.
Anyone can heal, wish them well, and move on.
That’s false. Moreover, you are a hypocrite and unlike narcissim, that does exist
They left the relationship before you realized it..that's why it seemed easy for them..imo
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exactly
@@lalinmoon3610 "I know of a souceser who can help bring your ex back within 2days and without 😶 delay.....💯💯💯💯
@@lalinmoon3610 "He has just helped me few days ago and it works✴✴💯he does a perfect job
@@lalinmoon3610 W$tsapp him now💯💯💯💞
My ex is dismissive avoidant and he is doing this. It's very hurtful to see he is seemingly not in pain and doesn't miss me and doesn't regret his decision to end things with me. Those statements that Susan said to say so you can give yourself an ending, and allowing it to be enough...I've actually been unknowingly practicing it. God-willing, one day, it will be enough. 😢 This video is really helpful, Susan. Thank you.
Going through the same pain of self closure
Hey I had a similar experience with an avoidant ex. We had to work together for a while after the break up and all our mutual friends tried to help me get him back. To be honest he never discussed the breakup with anyone. Even to my friends he gave confusing answers and later he would deny a lot of them. I wasted an year, trying to understand the problem but it was of no help. Finally I switched my job and I am so much at peace now without having him around. Confused avoidants are a living hell to be with in these situations. They are hot & cold, can’t give you what you want and will feel betrayed if you leave too. But I know for sure now, that I was not responsible for this behaviour. Nor did I have to put myself in such a position for too long. Ultimately we all are responsible for our own happiness. Tell yourself that they aren’t happy with you and they need to explore. Tell yourself that you shouldn’t be in a position where you have to beg for someone’s love. Love should come to us naturally and we all deserve it. Not the indecisive, doubtful love that the avoidant offers. Hope you find peace and love ❤️
After 4.5 years on and off with a Narcissist, I learned a lot! Narcs will discard you for absolutely no reason other than them not getting their way instantly, or they just plain get bored! This is what happened to me over and over again! She would break up with me over the slightest of reasons and immediately put herself on a bunch of dating sites. Normal people will not do that! For them (narcs) discarding you is as easy as throwing out a piece of trash! Being with a narc you are just a source of fuel for them temporarily! Narcs can't be alone and are always looking for adoration on Social media or dating web sites looking for their next victim. They are always looking for greener grass no matter what you do for them!
"I know of a souceser who can help bring your ex back within 2days and without 😶 delay.....💯💯💯💯
"He has just helped me few days ago and it works✴✴💯he does a perfect job
W$tsapp him now💯💯💯💞
+234~7014=812~494???❣❣❣
Yep I agree
I’ve been in this situation too. A week ago my partner broke off our 2 year relationship. I went to visit and found my things all packed up and he calmly told me it was over and cried with me through the process. I don’t understand it as we’re going to move in together and we’re merging our adult families but I walked out with my head held high and have no plans of any contact as he did not even check if I got home ok as I had drinking and had an hour to drive. I can’t understand who does that to someone they care. Just on those grounds he is not worthy of my love and I now question what we have and feel that it may have been my imagination thinking he cared. We forget that we deserve a person who can love us and actually cares about us just we care and love them.
Yeah I'm not taking him back after the disrespect of a dump by text. He said he wanted to be friend but not once has he called either. I'll see after Christmas and new year if he messages. Otherwise delete and block. Not going back there. He's too old to change anyway.
And how are you feeling now?
Hey, how are you doing now? Same thing happened to me last week. He dumped me when I was in office. I was so numb. He knew I had breathing problems, anxiety issues, was staying alone in a new city for the first time away from my parents, not very good at handling my sadness- everything. He did not check on me even once. I am so sure that he never cared for me.
This is what happened to me, he was posting her within a week or two after our breakup- so it was clear he was talking to her before we ended . Their relationship lasted about a year & it ended cause he did the same BS to her that he was doing in our relationship. She thought she got a prize but she just inherited my headache and it didn't last there either
This happened to me as well. It’s still fresh. When I didn’t give him what he wanted he immediately moved onto someone else. Same thing , posting all over social abruptly. He put me in so much pain after this.
Why do you care how it ended? Who told you it ended that way?
Sigh!
This video was powerful, Susan! I agree with everything you said, and I know how Lorna feels because I was in the same place where she is at the beginning of this year. Some people need to run away or end relationships because they can't face the intimacy required. Even if you did, some stupid mistakes, which are part of human interactions, the other person, if he or she doesn't feel right, have to communicate it. We can only repair what we know because we can't read their minds even if we are good non-verbal communication readers. Did he move on faster? You have two answers for that: 1) he was already checking out from the relationship while with you and not communicating his needs and desires. 2) He felt the void of your breakup and so needed to find a substitute. But let me tell you one thing, he is hurt at his unconscious or subconscious level, but his conscious mind repressed those negative emotions. Some individuals have a Ph.D. in how to repress feelings and push people away.
Why did he block you on social media? Why couldn't he handle your presence on his social media platform? By the description, he might have a dismissive attachment style, so Lorna, the best thing you can do is to wish him knowing that you did your best as his partner, his inability to commit to you long-term isn't your responsibility.
Massive hug from Portugal.
Alexandra
Hey, I always love your comments on Susan's videos. You seem to have great emotional intelligence. I have a situation I would like to get some clarity on and wouldn't mind a second opinion if you'd be interested in hearing I would be grateful for the advice.
Hi Alexandra, i love ur comment. It resonates with what I am going thru right now.
This comment helped me so much, since I went through the same experience as Lorna did. Thank you so much, Alexandra ❤️
@@lolonna I'm glad to know that :) Take good care of yourself!
Your comment helped me so much!
I've watched enough of these videos lately to understand that this is life. Sometimes it is what it is.. Move on folks. Try to live your best life.
This was so helpful to hear! My husband of 9 years confessed his infidelity to me through our entire relationship while we were trying to get pregnant. Initially he wanted to stay with me after he confessed, but within weeks he couldn't handle my depression and anger and left me saying he didn't love me anymore and wanted to find someone who wanted an open relationship. Hearing the descriptor "incongruous" helped me process the feelings I had trying to understand how he could turn himself off so abruptly. It also helps to understand he was a master at compartmentalizing since he did it cheating through the whole relationship, and he is still compartmentalizing to cope after leaving me. This was the worst experience I ever lived through in my life. I have been healing the last 2 years.
Open relationships are the biggest joke of all time. They NEVER work and will always crash and burn. It’s not possible to be with two people at once without some type of low level conflict.
How is your healing process going?
Self worth and accepting others power to control situations in addition to your own lets the weight fall off your shoulders much faster! Thank you Susan!!
Some people do move on really fast . They just don't seem to care
Thank you for this video as this is exactly what happened to me! I need closure and you have helped me to mentally create sentences for his lack of communication, leaving me and starting over in another state. I now understand more on bringing myself the CLOSURE I need to really move in!
Having experienced this so many times, makes you really want to give up on dating forever cause it's just numbing. Where are the decent, humble men with integrity, open communication and empathy? Few and far between it would seem....
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Unfortunately, there are just a handful of Good Men out there. I personally, will NEVER settle for anyone who’s not on my level, or better. Would rather be alone. My time is valuable .
The hardest thing is knowing they are happier WITHOUT you
Yes! And talking how difficult and awful the relationship was with you when they were with you over a glass of wine with their new partner! It hurts.
Be glad it's over you want a toxic person
So helpful! Finding your own 'answer' that you can return to - I'm going to put this into practice. "They had an existential crisis, and burned the whole thing to the ground." Thanks as always Susan!
Great advice as always that I will be practicing. Thank you so much Susan!
I had a similar experience years ago i had horrible time dealing with it but to my surprise i found out his best friend got in a fight with him over the way he treated me and took my side and it revealed a lot about my ex and I moved on after that quickly . Hearing another man's perspective that knew both of us helped me see it in a different light . While I'm so over my ex after all these years me and that best friend still have a nice friendship to this day. I realized how immature that was of my ex to treat a relationship that way that his own best friend had to apologize to me over his cold behavior and he said it made him question his own friendship with him.
This is currently happening to me. His friend is upset with him for how he treated me.
I say if they don't care enough to give you an explanation then you shouldn't seek and explanation. Just move on the same way he did and start over with someone who truly appreciates you. If he ever comes back then it's too late for him. You would be with another man who cares to make the effort and not be a coward. Move on and let go and love yourself more than you would love anybody else.
This happened to me when my ex just abruptly left me after 4 years and moved in with her new guy. I've seen cheating and all that but I've never seen someone move on and change things with no regrets or emotion or anything.
Are you saying your ex moved on like that, changing things with no regrets or emotion?
@@_mcknight To me yes! 4 years together and I wake up at 4am one morning to find her out with another guy. There was no remorse or regret, it was simply throwing me away like yesterdays newspaper and moving in with him. Let's just say it's been a long year and a half of recovery for me mentally and I'm still recovering, although I'm better now than I was months ago
@@underclassh3r058 Aw man, that is terrible. Honestly I hope she deals with karma and one day comes back to make things right with you. Sometimes people are pretending to have already moved on and like life is okay, but deep down they know they've done wrong, they know they have a guilty conscience. You never know what might happen with her later on, man. Glad you're moving forward though.
Sorry to hear. Im going through almost the exact same thing.
I am sorry that happened to you. Very likely the new partner was around from way before the relationship ended.
My ex wife moved on so fast. No doubt she wanted it for awhile. It still hurts. She got a guy who has a great career, makes more money etc. I learned my lesson. She will regret it in the end. I was a wonderful guy to her and especially her family. Her turning her back on me even after 13 years together hurts the most. I’m building myself up now.
He was the person who helped me manifest back my ex three days ago with out delay 💯💯
±23,4,91,520,520,63
I can recommend you to a man who heIped me bring back my ex permanent he can aIso heIp you
message him now for help.
You, once again, are right on. Happy Holidays 🎄☃️🥳🎉
Thank you for this Susan. Your videos have helped me get back on my feet after being dumped by a friend who was extremely dear and close to my heart. Her cutting ties with me abruptly, blocking me on SM and threatening me with consequences without any clear explanation was soul crushing. I have given myself my own closure that it could be either be because of what I have done (I know I have done nothing) or it could be the way she always was without empathy nor care that I failedl to see. God bless you.
i found the ex to be very emotionally immature, and he never seemed to know what he really wanted.....first he said he loved everything about me, then I drive him crazy??Too flippant for me
This is such an incredible video, Susan. Thank you so much for this.
I feel like this is my story. I was in a relationship for nearly 2 years with that person. We lived together in his house. We were talking about me fully moving to his country (he is aussie im from europe) and he often said he would like that. but also he often said he was unsure. he told me he loved me, he hold me he wanted to spend his life with me. but he was never truly open. he nearly always denied my or his emotions, I was always to clingy, too touchy, to needy. I am a very contact living person but I also love to be on my own. I could have spend 3 weeks away travelling around and came back home. I would hug him and after three seconds he would push me away saying thats enough. If I would that evening cuddle up next to him on the couch, he would move to sit with more distance between us. I tried to give him time, I told him I am here whenever he wants to talk, I told him he doesnt need to pretend to be a tuff guy, I will love him just as much when hes vulnerable and going through stuff. I left him though, not because I didnt love himanymore but because I couldnt take any more pain. One day I wasnt feeling good, I was grumpy and moody (not like crazy, just you know, having a weird day) and as I told him abour what is happening for me he said that this is enough, that he doesnt wanna hear this. He doesnt want my bad parts, he only wants my good parts. This was the worst thing anybody has ever said to me. After being so gentle and understanding and loving towards him, which I did with my fully heart, he tolds me that. This one sentence.. it felt like something inside of me broke that moment. I feel it has traumatizef me a lot and it keeps on coming up for me again and again. It makes me feel like I wasnt worth anything to him after so much we went through. I left. Only a couple of weeks after I haf left, he flew to Indonesia, Bali and started dating another women. And a few weeks after that he started dating again another women. Its like our relationshio didnt even exist to him. For me his body, his touch, his smell, his laughter, it was all so special now after one year, I struggle to like other men. And he just jumped right into another relationship. There is so much more to this story but Ill just leave it here. Bottom line is if you are willing to communicate and workd through things and your partner isnt, walk away. Its really hard. But if they are not open to creating a loving, emotional, accepting, supproting relationship, then they simply arent for you. Thank you Susan for this video, it really helped me just hearing that. I feel like it was my fault, like I didnt support or love him enough, but the truth is and I know that deep down, I gave 120% and he gave barely 30%. It is still sad and I can feel the effects of this nearly every day.
Dam
I can totally relate... Good luck to you🥰
I’m australian and come from a european family but have spent most of my life in aus and the rest in europe... i can tell you men like this are far more prevalent in australia... something about our culture seems to reward stringing women along, being flakey and a player! there are good and bad men everywhere but this is definitely a social issue here
@@christinas8782 wow... never knew that!
Know how it feels, it's bloody awful.
In the beginning it's all hot 🔥 then they lose interest, mostly cause they are messing with other women.
Thank you Susan ❤. Really needed this
Thank you! Thank you!! 💯 spot on!!!🙏 Blessings and Merry😇 Christmas🌲!
What this woman described in her letter to you is exactly what happened to me awhile back, and I've still been trying to move on. We call this 'ghosting' and it can be extremely traumatic especially if the relationship you had with the other person was not a short one.
Nathan, I'm sorry to read this. Glad you're feeling strong and confident again.
@@SusanWinter She ghosted and blocked me on everything weeks back, but she never blocked my phone number. In fact, if I text her she will always read it but not respond. What do you make of this? Does she feel guilty? If someone is 100% done with you and wants no contact, why do they not have my number blocked too and why even bother reading my texts at all?
@@_mcknight If I were you, I would delete her number, bc an ex lover for whom I no longer exist, no longer belongs in my phone just out of selfrespect, or at least what's left of it... after being thrown away like that.
You deserve better and you are worth a lot more than such crappy treatment.
Mine ghosted me and i unfriended her on everything but didn’t block. Just maybe she will reach out even though I doubt it
@@Kain5th You did the right thing to unfollow her. I did the same thing you did, try to leave her number open in case she ever wanted to reach out. She never did, and I actually finally deleted her number last year. I got over her a year ago and don't even want her back, and I feel somuch better now. I don't think your girl will reach out either, sorry to say. Keep pushing forward just like I did. There's so much better out there.
Live alone and live happy. Why suffer the games people play with you.
I went through hell. Some people are meant to be mourned and others aren’t worth a tear. I moved on fast from the unworthy and met a great guy. I’m grateful for not letting a bad experience blind me from a good person.
Such great, clear perspectives on this issue. Love your videos Susan!!!💜
“Deal with it now or deal with it later but you will deal with it...” I love it!! 🌸🌸🌸
Jude M,Your lovely smile can make the news!
"I know of a souceser who can help bring him back within 2days and without 😶 delay.....💯💯💯💯
"He has just helped me few days ago and it works✴✴💯he does a perfect job
W$tsapp him now💯💯💯💞
+234~7014=812~494???❣❣❣
That was amazing. You are gifted Susan : )
I liked the bit about giving oneself a couple of sentences to get you out of the starting blocks, like "I never felt I could go to him with my problems' or 'He wouldn't agree to meet my family'. There will always be clues lying around because we need to make sense of what has happened & this can help. Still an upset tho. A "Happy Christmas " Susan and keep safe. Amanda from Wales 💖💖💖 🏴 🏴 🇬🇧 🇬🇧 👍👍
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my ex left me by ghosting me. It’s really sad when u think everything was perfect but all u got is some sad memories. Yes you will see their life is going smoothly and they are much happier.but let them walk away, dont talk to them, dont even reply if they text and delete them for ever.that's what im trying to follow..sometimes i miss my ex but i dont want a person who doesn’t have respect for my love
Ghosting is cruel
Great content Susan 😊😊
Hi Maryam. Thank you
You really are a gem.. I cant tell you that enough Susan
My ex of 4 years dumped me and moved on with ease.........by dating someone new and moving in with her after 6 months of dating. I grieved for a year and a half over it. I tried to block him and only post productive things on social media like current art projects. Some people just move on better by removing all contact. We met up this summer to talk. Turns out she was psychotic and emotionally abusive and she inflamed his anxiety and depression. Don't believe what you see on social media, we both thought the other was doing so well. I don't think I will ever forget his callous and selfish act, but I think he's suffered enough!
I'm glad for you. And sorry, but I'm glad he suffered as well. Only fair. I hope you have someone better now.
@@wanderertatiana2498 Thank you, I kind of felt the same. I did a lot of work on myself in that time, so if anyone comes into my life post-pandemic, he will definitely be better, lol.
i hope you don't decide to take him back. i just got dumped after 4 years just out of the blue and i have been in pain for the past two months. i know now broken heart syndrome is a very real thing....it's not just in my head.
Karma is real
I was in a relationship with someone for a while and after an argument he found someone else very quickly. Then when things went wrong with this other person he came crying back to me asking for advice. I told him where to put my advice. 🍒
To be honest, some men and women don't care about the person they dumped. And if they are that way, they don't deserve you/a person. It is that simple. Some people are just selfish and scumbags. Sorry, I know that is not the positivity vibe on this channel, but sometimes it is true, and we have to accept that is how some people are.
Susan, thank you so much for this video - this just really speaks to my current situation with my ex! You are always so spot on and when I watch your videos, I feel 'seen' and understood. Thank you for who you are and everything that you do! I hope you will have a lovely Christmas xx
Lisa Wheildon, you got a smile that can make the news
"I know of a souceser who can help bring him back within 2days and without 😶 delay.....💯💯💯💯
"He has just helped me few days ago and it works✴✴💯he does a perfect job
W$tsapp him now💯💯💯💞
+234~7014=812~494???❣❣❣
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year Susan.....you rock😀👍
Thank you Susan, very helpful!
This was so wonderful thank you❤
That guy never love her he use her .Then he got rid of her when he found his next victim.He was trash since the beginning..move on sweetie erase him from ur mine asap.
yep
Almost sounds like the behavior or a narc! I keep positive affirmations that I read to keep me going. I also have a list of YT videos that I listen too!
Thank you Susan!!
great video. it almost always has everything to do with the ex who moves on "with ease"
"I know of a souceser who can help bring him back within 2days and without 😶 delay.....💯💯💯💯
"He has just helped me few days ago and it works✴✴💯he does a perfect job
W$tsapp him now💯💯💯💞
+234~7014=812~494???❣❣❣
Your videos are awesome! Thank you!!
Mornin!! Great video as usual. Happy holidays girl. 💛💛
Thank you!! Same to you
Suzyquzy 926,I admire your pretty smile!
Hey Susan.I’m a male 36, I was going through a hard time and I only watched a about a dozen of your videos but I found your insights very helpful for me. And I just wanted to say thanks and that you are a real professional in your line of work. I’m so happy for you that you have found your true purpose in life and your ability to help people. It’s very beautiful. I hope you continue to do this. I think you are a genius
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@@thompsonhudson6568 what’s that?
@@georgekerr6910 "I know of a souceser who can help bring him back within 2days and without 😶 delay.....💯💯💯💯
@@georgekerr6910 "He has just helped me few days ago and it works✴✴💯he does a perfect job
@@georgekerr6910 W$tsapp him now💯💯💯💞
Awesome video Susan thanks
Thank you Susan for clearing few things in this video. I was cheated and left by my girlfriend for someone else
Love of my life left me a year ago today. I never contacted her and have not heard from her not even once. Been in hell every day and thought she would have come back by now. Never been so sad.
I feel you bro. My wife left me a few months ago pretty much the same way as this video describes after 16 years, took the children and moved in with her affair partner, totally out the blue! anyway, im now in contact with someone new so looking forward, you gotta keep looking forward, i never ever thought id meet anyone, do i still miss my ex, yes, but know my value now. dig in deep brother and hope your'e keeping well and looking after yourself
I did the same once, I broke up a 2y relationship and moved on so easily. BUT, it was an extremely abusive relationship for me, I would constantly suffer abuses, I tried to end many times but was threatened all those times, one day, I simply wasn't affraid anymore and could live my life and enjoy it. But like Susan said, you don't deal with it now, but you will, and so I did. I passed the whole year of 2018 doing therapy, freeking out and recovering from those abuses.
So glad to hear that you're where you are now. All the inner work paid off
Yeah I don't move on easily but that's because I have BPD. Being hurt is extremely destabilising for me. So I no longer emotionally bond with people.
@@marleyhill34 Me too
Much gratitude I love your channel!
I appreciate that!
When that happens regardless of the dynamic the person was never that into you the way that you were with them. It hurts and happened to me early on. Its sad.
If you look closely you can see the signs of pulling away months before the end. I saw that.
@@marleyhill34 true.
@Dee People will let you down and mix up priorities because they are human however if it is a pattern of abuse then we need to be able to set that boundary and walk away.
You’re awesome 💗
God I wish i could afford you susan. You are definitely 1 of the wiser and more compassionate ones
"I know of a souceser who can help bring him back within 2days and without 😶 delay.....💯💯💯💯
"He has just helped me few days ago and it works✴✴💯he does a perfect job
W$tsapp him now💯💯💯💞
+234~7014=812~494???❣❣❣
My ex broke up, was completely heart broken and devastated herself for few weeks, then jumped on someone new to make herself feel better. Since then they‘ve been together, 6-9 months now…and that person left their relationship right before that as well…it’s like they are each other’s rebounds
Going through that now. Hope it’s getting better for you. I’m sorry. ❤️
It is my past history almost 💔. Merry christmas 🎄☃️💝🎁🦋❄🧚♀️❤👏🙏🌹
Absolutely this is a great video
I was just broken up with after 11 years together. Although there's a big age difference between us and we've had our problems and great times, he says he still loves me but he's moved on to a younger woman with two kids, he says he wants a family of his own but I know this is not the family he had in mind and he's still has his things in our apartment, says he going to move out but doesn't want to move in with her, he wants to buy a house and move her in. In my mind I see this as if things don't work out between him and her, he can throw her out. However, I'm still devastated.
The same thing happened here. I dated long distance for 7 weekends only but during this time i met his kids whete he acted very affectionate towards me in fromt of them, his childhood friends and all just for him to get what he wanted.He invested financially and swapped me off the feet with booking the trips, gifts and calling him his queen. Once he got what he wanted he thanked me for the great time and vanished himself saying he loved his ex who he hadnt been with for 4 years already and never heard from him anymore. Its been 1.5 years and he never contacted me anymore... It hit me hard but now im in the better place yet the scar is still a bit there...
Damn that’s rough, how can you trust again? He sounds like a smooth talker, maybe look for a tradesman, mechanic,plumber! They all seem down to earth, good luck
He gave affection, finances, trips, gifts and positive affirmation, but I don't understand what he got?? It's long distance. 🤷♂️
👋🙌🤗🤟👏 Miss Susan . . . sending all the very best of wishes and hopes this 🌲🌲🌲
holiday season. Be well -- take time to chillax and spoil yourself as you are most dserving.
And the very same to you!
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My ex user had no feelings for me and will never ever
Usually they have a history or track record of doing this. They just cannot be alone and need to fill the void you left.
He cheated and overlapped the relationship. He was too ashamed to face you. He’s just not a good person and he has no empathy. Most likely a narcissist
Oh please. He will feel it later. I felt it 2.5 years later.
Appreciate your honesty...you were the dumper correct?
@@JoJo-vz5yh No
@@acd1168 so what did you mean then?
@@dariosergevna The memories live on in his mind and they pop up later. The memories popped up in one swoosh for me 2.5 years later. It's very jarring
Ms P&H; Interesting presentation and informative to be sure.
"Kid You Not"
YOUR describing my Narc lady. Pretty much has all three characteristics in her behavior as you spoke about.
Red flag; the love bombing, whoa said I. Everything was being offered if you what I mean within the first two weeks.
Listen to your head, NOT the other one. Unfortunately knowledge will come with experience then wisdom in that order. Be well
My story is similar. My partner cheated a year ago, I found out but forgave and stuck by him. I didn’t let him forget it and he didn’t want to deal with the hurt he caused me. In the end he dumped me, cut off all contact and that hurt. Especially when I’d stood by him when he cheated. 6 months after it ended I have taught myself to forgive and apply an answer I’ve been looking for as to why he couldn’t face up to what he’d done. It’s an immaturity and he is hurting for something in his past. It will catch up with him at some point, I have no doubt. As the dumpee we have the upper hand, as we are forced to learn and accept more quickly than the dumper ever will. They will stagnate and we will grow. Stay strong!
🙌🏽
That kind of thing is sure painful, but you do have to move on and find a way to be happy in spite of the excruciating hurt. Otherwise the trauma just plays over and over in your thoughts until its burned in your brain! Turn to something positive to keep your mind occupied like a hobby or special project in your spare time so you arent consumed 24-7 by this person’s behavior. Eventually it does hurt less over time. Give yourself a chance to heal through family and friends too. ❤️😇
"I know of a souceser who can help bring him back within 2days and without 😶 delay.....💯💯💯💯
"He has just helped me few days ago and it works✴✴💯he does a perfect job
W$tsapp him now💯💯💯💞
+234~7014=812~494???❣❣❣
Hello friend do you really want to get your ex back to you
i have to read all the comments every single morning to give me strength to go about my day. im scared this feelings would never get better. im so scared.
Dear Lorna (I hope I heard that correctly), if you need a saying or something to think about when your mind travels to where you know you don't want it to be, thinking about him etc why this happened, why wont they talk to me, what are they doing, ( I know as someone ghosted me after knowing them for 8 years then finally dating them then just refused to talk to me out of the blue). Think about your good and positive mindset as a boat. When the negative thoughts which is water come in to your head, you need to remind yourself when the water gets in your boat its not good, it will sink, the more and more you think about it. The second you start thinking about something think of your boat. Immediately stop digging deeper into those thoughts and you need to think of something else. Idc WHAT it is. Go look up idk mountain ranges lmao. But remember, protect your boat.
My ex broke up with me saying that he was not ready to commit. Later on, after our breakup, I found out that he was already entertaining and dating other girls. It pains me so much because he just broke up with me suddenly and I was left in shock and in pain due to sudden heartbreak.
Three years or two months. People feel how they feel. Nothing like having the rug pulled out from under your feet.
After 10 years it was the easiest thing in the world for entire action and attitude made it so simple Army years single now and even when I feel lonely all I have to do is think back that relationship can go thank God it's not my problem
This happened to me..24 years of marriage, last 4 years we were like roommates..but still very much friends and then he just came home one night and said he didn't love me anymore. He was just done and I left the next day. He had a new woman in a month, living in our home while we went through a nasty divorce. I still struggle with the why. He blocked me, moved on and has never spoke to me since.
"I know of a souceser who can help bring your ex back within 2days and without 😶 delay.....💯💯💯💯
"He has just helped me few days ago and it works✴✴💯he does a perfect job
W$tsapp him now💯💯💯💞
+234~7014=812~494???❣❣❣
It happened to me few times. The guy just disappeared and contacted me 3 months later. But I blocked him, have no reasons to talk to him. We were fine, we didn’t have problems, he just said he needed a break. He said he didn’t want to break up just a break, I didn’t agree to that so he disappeared
he is a narcissist and they always try to hoover you and come back
@V Torfin I agree
Thank you for this! I still love her and I know she is not coming back that way and made it clear. She is a great friend though and I am very wanting to be over her and that would be nice. I let her go through cuz I just can go on with being obsessive again i am just too exhausted. I just think people are not monogamous and know I am so they keep me for a bit she was the most honest best one. So she ended it very honestly and kindly
I can recommend you to a man who heIped me bring back my ex permanent he can aIso heIp you
messaging him with this number now for help.
Love you Susan ❤️