The black community has to really take responsibility for how our women, no matter the shade, struggle with the hate for 4C hair. I know there is such thing as individual healing, and I don't believe in collective identity. But we cannot ignore culture and how our fathers, mothers, siblings, relatives, friends, schools, and our own media has poisoned us to see 4C hair as such a deplorable trait. When in fact, its one of the most beautiful textures on the earth. But, I hope she finds her way.
I agree. Because if black ppl naturally grew straight/mixed racial hair, weaves wouldn't be a big business. And BW wouldn't be wearing kinky weaves to "Switch it up"
@@Spokentruths725 gurrrl the amount of fighting I'm doing in comments right now in another video..... Black women defend weave like they're defending something that's growing out their damn scalp. Wearing a wig or weave is okay sometimes but I feel like black women are overly obsessed in an unhealthy manner. And that's affecting our little girls.
YUP!!! This woman is a product of the community’s ATTEMPT to “breed out blackness”. I’ve been around families who would literally WORSHIP these lighter skinned children, but oh boy!! If they had even an inkling of Afro textured hair or features, they were demeaned and degraded by their family members, even those who had the exact features. I’ve heard mothers, sisters, brothers, ect say some of the nastiest things about their own family members Afro blood, the same blood that flows through their own veins. She probably spent a majority of her young life verbally abused by her family and the people around her for not having the “full package”. I’m not defending her colorist beliefs or privilege, but her mentality was bound to happen being raised in that type of environment.
She's worried about her textuee when she should be more worried about her hair health....missing edges. And Im a light bright and dont feel like i was held to a specific beauty standard that i had to keep up with. She wants to look mixed and wants mixed hair...thats her true issue.
I’m light-skin and I’m obsessed with my mini fro! I struggled with liking my hair for a while, but only because I was never made to wear my natural hair so I wasn’t used to it,similar to the girl in the videos situation. Our hair is so special and makes us stand out💅 A lot of these girls know they sound pathetic complaining about afro hair but want the pity/negative attention
I'm mixed from mixed parents (European, native, African, middle east) and at least half of my country is mixed (Brazil) there's no such a thing as mixed hair, if you mixed "races" you either have straight, curly or coily hair this mixed hair is a joke we tell in Brazil, wherein some mixed guy have half of his hair straight for the heritage of his father and half curly for the heritage of his mother we say "half from mom and half from dad" and toss our hair
I’ve seen a few TikToks by light-skinned women who say their Afro-textured hair and fair complexion don’t match. They think their hair lowers their position on the Black-People totem pole. They want to fit into the “light-skinned, good hair” trope. They want to be the Dani Leigh “yellow bone” they think all the men want. But they can’t do that because their hair is “nappy”. Deep down, the light-skinned women who feel this way already think they are better than darker skinned women. I say this because they openly lament not being the “whole package”. If they had the hair to correspond with the skin tone, they believe they would be seen as more beautiful, more acceptable in the eyes of mainstream society, sexier, and more desirable. If they didn’t believe looser curl patterns were a ‘win’, their hair would not be an issue, ESPECIALLY not as it relates to their skin color.
She said in the comment section that her mom is dark skin with looser hair and didn't know how to take care of her hair or do it. Her mom probably got with a light skin man with kinky hair thinking she would inherit his skin tone but her hair and things didn't work out how she thought.
If she keeps treating it that way, she’ll come to understand what ‘bad hair’ actually is. It has nothing to do with texture or ‘texturism within the community’. This is her self-perception that her texture is not good enough for her. She’s the one who thinks she deserves something else solely based on her skin tone. I hope she heals.
Yes !!! Totally agree . While people can benefit from isn'ts, it feels very uncomfortable not to question how it affects others and the fact they have to keep navigating against things pr system that " enables " other groups of people.
I commend her for the courage to say the quiet part out loud. There’s are so many other women voicing the same thing with droves of support and empathy and relatability- starpuppy, that no pretty privilege girl, the don’t bring your natural hair to my event girl, SO MANY others voice this too. We need to be able to have an honest discourse WITHOUT SHAME AND ADMONISHMENT for all shade of BP. There is a huge intersectionality of colonization, forced European beauty standards, effects of coverture laws, discrimination in schools and workplaces, and even multi generational internalized racism that culminates in BW covering and altering their hair to get through the day, and BM just plain shearing it all off. Kudos to her for the courage to speak.
Exactly. She’s not expressing anything else that other woman of darker complexions wouldn’t say about their own hair. Just because she has lighter skin some women in the comments expect her to respond a certain way. It’s hypocrisy! They expect her to respond a certain way due to her lighter skin, and she expects her hair to be a certain way due to her lighter skin. Like, there’s no win.
@@legslikewhoa Agreed! I don’t understand the double standard. We should be supporting each other as BW no matter the shade. Lighter skin women suffer a different schism than darker skin women, nonetheless it all rolls up under anti-blackness and self-hate due to white supremacy. We should be able to talk about it in all its facets without shaming each other.
This is a form of self hate. She just hasn't embraced herself fully and still care about being the beauty standard, and think 4c is bad hair. This is black women mentality for you right there
Someone made a good point on TikTok by saying that the term light skinned isn't even used correctly anymore. It's now used to describe biracial people compared to growing up it was used to describe mono racial Black individuals with lighter skin. Most mono racial Black people with lighter skin I saw growing up in my lifetime had type 4 hair etc. They were just light skinned. I think mono racial light skinned people are becoming confused and brainwashed themselves. If you are a monoracially Black person just because you are light skinned doesn’t mean you’re going to have looser curls. You’re Black not biracial. Though hair textures always varies. It still feels weird to think your hair has to be looser because you’re lighter even though you know you are a full Black woman. The young woman being discussed in this video also went live on TikTok discussing “is colorism only a one way street.” I personally don't believe in reverse colorism but I think she is experiencing texturism as well as featurism (when she mentioned she doesn't believe she fits the beauty standard) because she kind of has more broader features which a lot of people don't associate with lighter skinned. Overall I think she is struggling to find beauty within herself and is also wondering why she doesn't have a certain hair texture or certain facial features all because she is light skinned. And I think that's a dangerous way to think. She has to stop comparing herself to biracial women.
I agree and I just made a similar comment. I understand that language, especially slang, can change over time. However, I believe the language in the black American community changes because we don't gatekeep our culture. We leave the gate wide open and allow people to come in and start rearranging furniture. We struggle with having boundaries for other people.
@@fin4008I agree that men do make black women feel insecure if they are not viewed as desirable. This girl is very attractive so I think that it is hard to accept the message from her. I think most men would have no problem with dating her because she looks mixed based on her facial features and they are not paying attention to her hair.
I don't understand why this light skin black woman creator is getting backlash. She stated her experience. It seems she is trying to unpack the same euro standard of beauty indoctrinations and unhealthy feelings many black women experience with our hair. The dog pile specifically by other black women doesn't sit right with me. As a dark skinned black woman, I listened carefully to what she is saying and empathizing with her growing pains as I had to go through them, albeit it differently. Why aren't we supporting her in unpacking and decolonizing her mind? I'm hearing a lot of projections and assumption by other black women. Is it because she is light-skin or am I just trippin?
It's projection. She couldn't have been more humble in her approach. Im brownskin and I wasnt offended. Even if she has some hangups or entitlement around being lightskin she's young and has time to unpack that.
I agree. Some people have hate towards others for just looking different in every shade of black. That sista didn't say anything wrong, and it's all hate. Her video is one reason why people don't speak out.
She's basically saying the black women who do rock their healthy full lustrous natural type 4 hair are not beautiful enough for her to feel proud of her own type 4 hair. Yal aint winning enough for her so she will worship the silky hair instead.
@@cfoster6804 most of Black women in general not just brown or dark skinned? You’re saying that as if monoracially lighter skinned women do not exist or are you falling into the narrative as well that only lighter skinned women have silky or looser hair textures… because skin tone doesn’t determine hair texture!
I feel bad for her because she is insecure and struggling with self image. I can also tell that by the amount of makeup she is wearing while just sitting in a car making this video. She is fighting texturism and colorism. Hope she is able to work that out. I’m not going to coddle her though, because she just said some goofy things. 😂
She's watching too much mixed women with type 3 hair on social media, thinking she is one of them but without the hair. She needs a reality check and to look to people who share her phenotype. She wants the 'mixed baddie' aesthetic🙄. I don't feel sorry for her, you can tell by the make up and the look she's going for. What an airhead.
4C could easily become the beauty standard if it was promoted heavily in bl@ck media but it is not. BW also have a part to play in this. Stop giving traffic, attention, views, etc to women that DO NOT look like you. These are the women that will be heavily promoted in the media because that is what garners attention. For reference, I don’t shop from stores that have a lot of dark skinned male models but all the female models are light skinned. I don’t primarily watch female RUclipsrs that do not look like me. I don’t click on videos about celebrity news of women that do not look like me. I don’t negatively comment on 4C hairstyles. I don’t watch movies that cast biracial women in roles that should be for BW (I will watch if they cast the biracial in a role that was originally for a WW though 🤭). These are just examples of ways to allow 4C hair to become the beauty standard and stand in solidarity with women that look like you.
Yes! 👏🏾 I love this philosophy, call it out. I wish 4C could be as accepted and we could make a beauty standard that includes more Afrocentric or monoracial features
She's not wrong: I think that colorism/texturism has Black folks in the mindset that a light skinned person "should" have looser curls as part of the whole aesthetic of being closer to white. It is so strange that this is still so pervasive because we know that there are a PAZILLION skin tones and hair textures and combinations among Black people 😂 For ex : my mother was very light with very coily hair; my father was heavily melanated (think Bill Duke) and his hair was very soft and could be styled easily with just water
Right. We need to have an annually reoccurring lessons on Punnett squares and genetic traits😂😂😂 I too am a pale ginger with 4b hair from two darkskin parents. 1 with straight hair, 1 with loose Jerry like curls😅 as well my 9 siblings who appear to be everything in between
She not wrong at all. I'm a monoracial black woman with two confirmed black parents and I have 2b/3c hair and light brown eyes. I am automatically assumed to be biracial or none black. Light skinned black women have turned their nose up to me because my features don't match and have said as much. That I'm very pretty for a dark skinned woman. This is why I stay in my lane about beauty standards. The attention I get from men vs my sister who is slim and very afro feminine told me everything I needed to know. I've questioned men who date me why they turn their nose up to women like my sister and I learned it was because they seek those none black features as a bragging right. Imagine their disdain when they see my children with the "correct features". Don't get me started about when I post with my daughter who has 4c hair and a shade lighter than me. Whew child. I hate it here.
growing up all the light-skinned black people around me had type 4 hair. the latina girls or mixed girls had curls but the light skinned girls that had the same black facial features as anyone else of sub-Saharan African descent had what we referred to at the time as "nappy" hair.
I am light skinned with 4A hair. I had to learn to deal with my hair texture. I blame the media for portraying the stereotypical light skin with so called good hair. When I grew out my natural hair it wasn't anything like that...I struggled at first but learned to take care of it in its natural state and moved on. Hair is not indicative of race nor skin color.
I had a mixed friend key word had . Who said the same exact thing , literally verbatim . At the time I wore my hair straight (non relaxed for over a decade now) . I went back fully natural 2 years ago , no heat, my txt is 4a , I’ve know my texture since I first went natural . If she saw me full African now with my hair . Should would turn red 😂😂😂 because over the years she had tried her hardest to prove to me how she was the preference and how BW are jealous of her ( was told that by her yt mother ) . 😂😂😂
I wish people would stop telling mixed women that we are jealous of them. 🙄 If anyone is jealous or envious of them it's the white women that birth them. Catch that tea. ☕
i had a friend like this but her mom was blk. it would be nice to make female friends that aren’t competing over men. it’s pretty annoying at this point
She is right. Light skin beauty standards are not just based on colorism it is also based on texturism. If you are light there is an expectation you have a particular hair texture that is looser, lighter, with more curl than coil. And I really wish people would stop lumping all black hair into these 3s and 4s. Black people can have 36 different foundation shades but only 6 hair texture types??? That's why people are always fighting over who is really 3B-4C.
I get her point, I have witnessed many people make comments about a person who is light skinned and their hair is course. People do point it out. It can make you insecure.
well on one hand she needs to stop perming and accept her coily hair, but on the other hand she did hold herself accountable for having a problematic view. so yea idk 🤷🏿♂️ what
I’m a brown skinned black woman with loose curly hair , it’s close to wavy and when I wear my curls out I get a lot of attention from people looking at me as if I’m an alien to people asking if I’m mixed . I’ve gotten it from both black and white people . I have come across some people that thought my hair was fake until I explained that I was born with it but I get lots of questions sometimes .
It’s unfortunate looser curls automatically make people assume you’re mixed because like the black woman in the video stated black people are not a monolith 🤎🤎🤎
@@iidentifyasaPSLGoddessright she was acknowledging her privilege but it’s still not good enough. You can never be progressive enough online for some reason 🤦🏾♀️
1.I had to giggle watching her be triggered by a spongebob reference (oh brother, this guy stinks) 2. Light skin/mixed people have trouble not making their skin tone their personality. that falls on the parents who uphold certain beauty standards. 3. Body/hair dysmorphia 4. I myself and light skin with a coarser texture that my mom stayed melting off with relaxers but my dark skin sister was always praised for her banana curls that stayed chemical free. While i was going natural she debated doing relaxers.
Kinky hair requires patience and tender love and care to maintain health, it’s unfortunate that parents are doing their little girls a disservice by not teaching them proper hair care. Once you learn proper hair care these girls would find out just how beautiful and versatile their hair really is. What other hair texture can be worn kinky, braids, curls, afro and bone straight without chemically processing the hair.
Just like she did nothing to make herself light skinned, she can do nothing to change her hair. She’s lives in a world where she doesn’t have to embrace it, though. Perm your hair, get a sew in and masquerade as the person you want to be. It does feel like self hatred, though, and as someone said earlier it does seem like she wants to fit a mixed profile versus a light skinned profile. If she kept the topic on texture and didn’t bring color/ shade into it, she may have had better results.
I get what she’s trying to say. If you’re light skinned( not mixed race or biracial), people expect you to still have a looser curl pattern and less full features. Even other black people. Even when you say “I’m just black, just light skinned” they still hold you to a different… often unattainable beauty standard for most black women. I tell people if you look hard enough you can see I’m not mixed. I literally only have the light skin. Everything else; my shape, nose, lips, hair, voice, etc are “black” features or characteristics
As a light skinned woman with coily hair I experienced the same insecurity growing up. My siblings all have looser textures and I felt like mine was a curse or holding me back from experiencing their privilege. I noticed how depending on how my hair was styled, I would be perceived as mixed passing. That messed with my self perception as a teen. As I got wiser I realized I had to abandon eurocentrism bc even as a lighskinned woman, my blackness is still evident. There is no hiding it and it shouldn’t be concealed. I am just one beautiful flavor of blackness. I feel unique and beautiful as a light skinned 4b babe and I wear my afro with so much pride now. Look to black women that you admire and all the other bs stops being relevant.
Wow!!!! So sad that she feels because she is light skin, she should have finer texture hair. So I guess she is mad when she sees a darker person with straighter hair. This is crazy!!!!! Im just really speechless and just hope she learns to embracing her hair. Finishing the video, she should have labeled this differently.
I am brown to light skinned with 3c-4a hair. People ask me quite often if I’m mixed because of my hair. But I can understand where she’s coming from because we mostly see people with lighter skin having a looser hair texture.
@@Blue.1889 I agree and then I don’t. It’s still not our hair and many times they create these fake textures out of the same Brazilian or “Malaysian” hair. Also my hair isn’t 4C. It’s too much to unpack my head hurts I’m putting in braids as we speak 😩
In my experience, everyone but “mixed” people have made me feel awkward for how my hair looks. As a mixed raced Hispanic woman with coily hair, I experimented with locs and I had both unambiguous black people as well as Eurocentric looking Latinos tell me my hair style was for people who are actually “black” and that it wasnt for me even though I have a kinky coily hair texture. I’ve also get questioned if my hair is a wig when I wear my Afro out by whites and blacks but when my hair is straightened or flat ironed, I get no such questions.. its society pushing that on light skinned or mixed black women, mainly by people who are unambiguously one race.
Oh wow 😮 that’s very unfortunate..thanks for sharing from your perspective and I’m happy to hear it didn’t stop you from being experimental and embracing your coily hair 🤎🤎🤎
3:11 that's because that's not what she's trying to say lmfao. So would a dark skinned woman say she feels insecure and ugly because she naturally has type 3 hair but people would have expected her to have type 4 hair since she's dark skinned??? That was rhetorical btw. People make the dumbest arguments to defend already dumb takes.
Also when she tried to claim she can relate to dark skin women just because she didn’t get the same privilege as light skin girls with loose curls was so ignorant. She implied that all dark skin women have 4c hair which isn’t true. I’m a dark skin woman with 3c/4a and my dark skin grandma has looser curls than me. Her hair is 3a/3b hair.
It also implies that she feels entitled in some way, which is really sad. Dark skinned women have a wide range of features and hair textures as well as skin undertones. The system and the mindset we have kept been pushing is very toxic 😢
Like you said, I hate that people only feel like they can “relate” to dark skin women as if the entirety of our experience is struggle when they don’t fit a certain beauty standard when we all need to be reprogramming and rejecting those beauty standards in the first place. I think it’s quite ironic by and large dark skinned people are assigned in people’s imaginations as only having certain facial features and hair curl patterns, which is dehumanizing in itself. I’m also dark skinned with 3c/4a hair and my mom is also dark skinned with looser hair than mine. In general I fit in a weird space when it comes to “beauty politics” and objectivity observe there’s a lot of healing to be done
@alonaonyoutube excellent points. I agree with what you said. It is as if people have forgotten that in any one black family you have a lot of diversity of skin tones and features . Tge term 4c is so misleading. Are all 4c turks the same ? Same thickness ? Same porosity? Same with 4a and 3c. And what about so many of us who have 3 or 4 different curl patterns on our heads ? Why doesn't anyone talk about this ?
@@maureenpemberton5991 right! Interesting to note 4c was not included in the original Andre Walker system (Type 1,2,3,4) for curl pattern typing, and a lot of people think all type 4 hair is 4c, and others straight up lie about having 4c hair. (for whatever reason). I think the Andre Walker system is good in the fact that it’s accessible and easy to grasp, but like you mentioned people have no clue whether they have coarse or fine hair strands, higher(thick) or lower(thin) density, low or high hair porosity etc., and a lot of the frustration with hair care comes in with ignoring those facets of your hair. I saw the LOIS hair typing system some years back I felt was a lot more helpful as it looked at more dimensions that just curl pattern, but everything has its pros and cons
There's a lovely, light skin, natural 4c hair creator named Taylor Anise that rocks her natural hair with confidence. Ladies, it's been long enough. Time to break away and start learning and loving what God gave you. It's yours!! Take care of it and wear it with confidence. PERIODT! #NOMOREEXCUSES🧑🏾🦱
Joy-el is another light skin biracial woman that has 4c hair. She has a video where she expresses why she loves her 4c hair and why other women should too.
She has a point about the standard of beauty in our community. I remember being in church and there was a mom with 2 daughters, one light and one dark. Other church members would literally ogle the light skinned child and her hair, while ignoring the darker child, whose hair was silky yet curlier. Both girls were/are gorgeous. I just wish we would listen to each other when we speak on our experiences on either side. I’m light skinned with 4a/4b hair and the expectation from other black folks was to have hair closer to what they thought mixed people have. The shock of people realizing that 1) I’m not mixed and 2) I regularly got relaxers. We keep projecting feelings on to people that may not hold them: I never once thought I was better because I was light with long hair. Others assumed that for whatever reason (maybe they themselves thought that light is better, I don’t know). I suffered real identity issues that I think the creator is going through. Maybe being older now and not giving any f***s about what people think (plus therapy) have made it so that I can embrace all of my beauty. I hope the creator gains perspective and heals.
I think the wording threw a lot of people off even though I personally wasn’t offended. I do wish however skin tone wasn’t emphasized so much in the conversation and we focused more of the different experiences having coily hair based off our experiences and I hope she finds her way as well🤎🤎🤎
Your comment, "(maybe they themselves thought that light is better, I don’t know)," can probably be answered by "would literally ogle the light skinned child and her hair, while ignoring the darker child"- that reaction towards the light skinned child sends a very clear message.
Her video wasn't made for dark-skinned women she was talking to other light-skinned women. What she is actually saying is that she doesn't receive the full priviledge because she has 4c hair and she wants people to sympathise with her . I don't think people are deeping how insensitive, narcissistic and anti - black this is. She is crying about only getting the light skin and not the 3a hair .
There are whte women crying/complaining bc they are'nt blonde or treated like blondes, when the priviledge is one dye away. Everyone has insecurities, from their perspevtive they are under priviledged. having no empathy is demonic.
I am not the hair police. However, I don't see 4c texture. I wish that she could see my two younger cousins. They are fair. And they rock the mess out of their 4c coils. They are some gorgeous dolls. This young lady is glamorous. She doesn't see her hair as such. T.M.H. did not make one mistake on your beautiful self; young miss.❤
You’re born exactly how you’re meant to be. She’s worried about her hair, but she has very black facial features as well. So her not meeting European beauty standards go beyond her hair. The standards she’s speaking of are her own. 😅 She needs some help & healing.
She came online and poured out her heart about her insecurities regarding her natural hair and the greater response to her is basically "shame on you for your insecurities" because she prefaced her statement by saying she is "light skinned?" This is wild😂. We really need to treat each other with more love in this community. The truth is that these insecurities about our natural hair go deep and many of us have had to unpack them at one time or the other. We get so easily triggered by the messenger instead of focusing on the message.❤❤.
@fin4008 🤣okay so if that's we heard, shaming her the way most people did is not how we "educate" her. In fact, i dare say the "lightskin" comment means she really needs help.🤣
Actually anthropologists say Europeans have fur while Blacks have real hair. Every Black person must learn to appreciate their hair no matter the texture.
When it comes to black women, there’s always a ladder we never get to the top of. If you have the hair you’re still too dark. If your dark but have barbie features you’re still behind the hazel eyes. And should you reach the top. You then a pend way too much time trying to prove you’re pro black. 😖
Struggling with loving your hair is something a lot of Black women have experienced and can emphasise with so why not just focus on that ? What does the colour of her skin have to do with it ? We already know there are nuances to privilege in the black community so why is she mentioning her skin tone ?
All I have to say is that.. she’s weird lol this is sheer brainwash. 4c hair is beautiful! I wish I had 4c hair! Those curls are astonishing! Thanks for the video sis and Happy New Year Beautiful!❤🎉
I think her hair is beautiful but ok she need to be around more positive people cause I would hate for her to have a daughter with the hair she wants she will be jealous she need healing
Smh she’d rather push her hairline back like a kung fu warrior than embrace her NATURAL texture? Smh this is madness. In 5-10 years she will regret this when the hairloss becomes permanent.
I hate that we black women have no compassion for lighter skinned black women…..they’re not supposed to complain or celebrate themselves or breath too heavily or have an opinion on their existence and experiences. I completely understand what she’s saying. Texturism is real.
I highlight black women of all shades who share their experiences and perspectives about their coily natural hair rather that experience be good or bad🤎
She may seem a little shallow but it’s her hair and she can wear it any way she likes it. She doesn’t have to wear it natural or feel pressured to do so. She may need to work on character and what’s truly important 😊
@@CoffeeCuties777 I enjoy your content and I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that someone was pressuring her. Maybe I should have worded it differently. She shouldn’t feel like she has to wear her hair naturally for any reason. Thanks to the hair industry, we can do whatever we want with our hair. We should not put one choice or type over another. We should be grateful for what we have.🙂
We have been conditioned to think that everything about us as a race is bad. That is how she feels, and nobody can tell her anything. Hopefully, things change for her in the future 😢 Unfortunately, social media isnt for what she is talking about. Sis, needs to seek a therapist, because, Im sure that people are ripping her apart for sharing her story. The hate is real in our community on every side.
She better embrace her hair and get a consistent routine to grow it while it can grow…..shift the society focus and focus on self.There will be a time as she gets older, where it will thin out or won’t grow as fast…..appreciate your coils and grow and accept what God gave you. This is sad…
@CoffeeCuties777 But, when I was a child in the 80s I got made fun of because my hair wasn't long and everybody thought I was a Boy. I had boy hair and it was nappy.
I don’t understand the hype of wanting to be biracial so much or to look that way. I hate when people even assume me being light skin is mixed because I love being black and people should be happy with themselves to not wanna change
So she really think all light skin women have fine to medium hair wow I have so many family members that are light skin and have very thick hair I wish I had thick hair I have fine hair and it’s limits to what I can do with it our hair is beautiful especially if it’s healthy girl who cares what people think she’s to old to care about what people think smh
I'm Black and in my pictures you can see growing up my hair texture. I hated doing my hair, so I got perms then I started getting weaves, I really hate doing my hair. It has nothing to do with it's texture, I just do not like doing it, I will say my hair texture made me more acceptable in certain groups given my 🤎 brown Complexion. It's just really stupid that we are still dealing with Colorism and the "Good Hair" issues... Be happy with who you are,...
She seems like she’s unpleasant to be around. Like she thinks she’s better than darker women, but insecure around biracial women. She needs to see the Asians getting coily perms to see that light skin and coily hair do look good together.
I wish I had that type of hair. All of the hairstyles yall are able to do and still have hair on yall head? Mine could never. Having looser texture hair really limits the hairstyles you can do IN A HEALTHY WAY. Like ofc I can get hairstyles but my real hair would be chewed up😂
And then another thing I like about type 4 hair is that when yall have fine/thin hair you can’t tell because of how yall hair spreads. I can’t explain it but all type 4 hair be looking thick to me
There is no correlation between skin tone and hair texture. My grand dad was a dark skin man with type 3b hair as well as my mother. I’m light with type 3b/3c but my kid is light skin with type 4b hair. As black people we are beautiful no matter the texture of hair nor how light or dark our skin is. Beyonce is a light skin black she doesn’t look like she has curly hair
This is why I can’t be friend with LS women like that. You’ll be chilling and having a great day, then they’ll say racist shit like this. Too triggering.
As a DSBW, every time I befriended them I learned my lesson every. Single. Time. Them, mixed race, hispanics/latinas, and WW are so casually colorist, texturist, featurist, etc. Not all of them, but I've yet to have a friendship/work relationship with either of them that didn't eventually turn me off because of some "ism" they felt the need to casually mention around me (unprovoked). It's so gross and I refuse to tolerate keeping people around me who inherently hate me.
I think there's a lot of projection here. Where did she say that "light skin" is the beauty standard of the black community? All I hear is "4C hair doesn't match the beauty standards of a light skin lady". And that's true. the beauty standard of a light skin lady is usually 3a to 3c. When you see light skin girls, you usually assume that they hair has a certain type of curl. So why pretend? It's the same as saying the beauty standard of black girls is to have big booty and to feel insecure if your booty is small. There's no reason to get offended here imho.
In my opinion she applied that by saying she understands she benefits from colorism and type 4 hair is the expected hair type for a monoracial black person (which she states she was). Type 3 hair is typically associated with a mixed or biracial woman. I personally don’t feel light skin is the beauty standard in my personal experience and I even talked about in the video how it comes down more to pretty privilege. I’m personally not offended by what she stated as that is her experience to share. I hope she finds the healing she needs to love all of herself 🤎🤎🤎
You all are doing a lot of projecting in these comments. No where in her video did she say she SHOULD have looser curls because she’s lighter skinned. You all love to put words in ppl’s mouths. The truth is, you all do not want to hear any complaints from lighter skinned ppl in the community. A lot of you all believe that the only ppl who have the right to complain about anything related to being black, is a darker skinned person. Lighter skinned ppl are just supposed to sit and be quiet until they can be used to be the face of something to prove a point and then go and be quiet again. What’s the difference between her commenting on her type 4 hair and a darker skinned woman doing the same? Y’all have no issue when a dark skinned person does it. Just admit that you all do not like light skinned women, no matter the hair texture.
I'm dark skinned and I totally understand what she's saying. 4c hair is not exclusive to dark skinned women at all. So I would never invalidate how she feels.
I personally don’t like when women come on line and talk down on type 4 hair regardless of skin tone and if you go down my page you’ll see me call out all types of black woman with similar videos and give an alternative perspective/solutions in order to help other women who maybe feeling similar. I personally don’t dislike light skin women at all and understand they have experiences and stories that deserve to be heard as well. 🤎🤎🤎
@@CoffeeCuties777 see!!!! 😂😂This is what I’m talking about and was accused of sounding white ergo trying to be white. Now I’m trying to be biracial???? 😂😂
I know y’all hated the “red pill” guy but this was exactly what he was referring to smh you can hate the messenger all day long but you can’t deny facts then be mad at this woman for stating what is already well known by men who peeped game. Her confidence comes from a face full of fake and a head full of it too. Hypocrisy is a legal drug.
It's not hypocritical because most of us don't wear a full face or wigs. The red pill guy is still wrong. He isn't a "messenger" of any kind because his goal isn't to build, his goal is to despise. If he wanted women to be more confident why doesn't he start a channel that showcases beautiful natural women ?
This is sad and embarrassing. Because of this woman I’m genuinely starting to see why so many black women get angry at people like this. Like girl shut up and love yourself. Why would you come on the internet and say all this ignorant stupid shit, embarrassing us like this. DISOWNED ❌
I had a mixed friend key word had . Who said the same exact thing , literally verbatim . At the time I wore my hair straight (non relaxed for over a decade now) . I went back fully natural 2 years ago , no heat, my txt is 4a , I’ve know my texture since I first went natural . If she saw me full African now with my hair . Should would turn red 😂😂😂 because over the years she had tried her hardest to prove to me how she was the preference and how BW are jealous of her ( was told that by her yt mother ) . 😂😂😂
The black community has to really take responsibility for how our women, no matter the shade, struggle with the hate for 4C hair. I know there is such thing as individual healing, and I don't believe in collective identity. But we cannot ignore culture and how our fathers, mothers, siblings, relatives, friends, schools, and our own media has poisoned us to see 4C hair as such a deplorable trait. When in fact, its one of the most beautiful textures on the earth. But, I hope she finds her way.
I agree. Because if black ppl naturally grew straight/mixed racial hair, weaves wouldn't be a big business. And BW wouldn't be wearing kinky weaves to "Switch it up"
@@UnpopularOpinionX and those of us in the community who do try to inform and uplift we get that hate passed on. It’s tiring and exhausting.
@@Spokentruths725 gurrrl the amount of fighting I'm doing in comments right now in another video..... Black women defend weave like they're defending something that's growing out their damn scalp. Wearing a wig or weave is okay sometimes but I feel like black women are overly obsessed in an unhealthy manner. And that's affecting our little girls.
YUP!!! This woman is a product of the community’s ATTEMPT to “breed out blackness”. I’ve been around families who would literally WORSHIP these lighter skinned children, but oh boy!! If they had even an inkling of Afro textured hair or features, they were demeaned and degraded by their family members, even those who had the exact features. I’ve heard mothers, sisters, brothers, ect say some of the nastiest things about their own family members Afro blood, the same blood that flows through their own veins.
She probably spent a majority of her young life verbally abused by her family and the people around her for not having the “full package”. I’m not defending her colorist beliefs or privilege, but her mentality was bound to happen being raised in that type of environment.
😮💨🫰🏿🫰🏿🔥. Well said.
She's worried about her textuee when she should be more worried about her hair health....missing edges. And Im a light bright and dont feel like i was held to a specific beauty standard that i had to keep up with. She wants to look mixed and wants mixed hair...thats her true issue.
Period sis and you are ao beautiful ❤
@randomafricana thanks sis, I really appreciate that 💕 I'm sure you are beautiful as well 💕💕
Exactly
I’m light-skin and I’m obsessed with my mini fro! I struggled with liking my hair for a while, but only because I was never made to wear my natural hair so I wasn’t used to it,similar to the girl in the videos situation. Our hair is so special and makes us stand out💅 A lot of these girls know they sound pathetic complaining about afro hair but want the pity/negative attention
I'm mixed from mixed parents (European, native, African, middle east) and at least half of my country is mixed (Brazil)
there's no such a thing as mixed hair, if you mixed "races" you either have straight, curly or coily hair
this mixed hair is a joke we tell in Brazil, wherein some mixed guy have half of his hair straight for the heritage of his father and half curly for the heritage of his mother
we say "half from mom and half from dad" and toss our hair
This is why Doja Cat cut all her hair off.
People calling her tennis ball and sheep didn’t help either.
This is why Deyjah Harris relaxes her hair
Yep 👍🏾 and it’s unfortunate because Doja Cat hair is beautiful and I don’t know what Deyjah hair looks like but I’m sure it’s beautiful as well🤎🤎🤎
CLOCK IT
I’ve seen a few TikToks by light-skinned women who say their Afro-textured hair and fair complexion don’t match.
They think their hair lowers their position on the Black-People totem pole. They want to fit into the “light-skinned, good hair” trope. They want to be the Dani Leigh “yellow bone” they think all the men want. But they can’t do that because their hair is “nappy”.
Deep down, the light-skinned women who feel this way already think they are better than darker skinned women. I say this because they openly lament not being the “whole package”. If they had the hair to correspond with the skin tone, they believe they would be seen as more beautiful, more acceptable in the eyes of mainstream society, sexier, and more desirable. If they didn’t believe looser curl patterns were a ‘win’, their hair would not be an issue, ESPECIALLY not as it relates to their skin color.
She said in the comment section that her mom is dark skin with looser hair and didn't know how to take care of her hair or do it. Her mom probably got with a light skin man with kinky hair thinking she would inherit his skin tone but her hair and things didn't work out how she thought.
Society created the way that she thinks, and I hope things get better for everyone in our community.
@@hereforit2347 YES. And when you try to point this out to a lot of black people they lose their mind.
They feel better than those darker than them but not as good as those with loose hair or mixed girlies w loose textures..
@@thewordsmith5440 mad farfetched and weird to think that her mom purposely did that.
This person's mind is still enslaved.
I agree unfortunately 🤦🏾♀️
If she keeps treating it that way, she’ll come to understand what ‘bad hair’ actually is. It has nothing to do with texture or ‘texturism within the community’. This is her self-perception that her texture is not good enough for her. She’s the one who thinks she deserves something else solely based on her skin tone.
I hope she heals.
I completely agree🤎🤎🤎
Yes !!! Totally agree . While people can benefit from isn'ts, it feels very uncomfortable not to question how it affects others and the fact they have to keep navigating against things pr system that " enables " other groups of people.
I commend her for the courage to say the quiet part out loud. There’s are so many other women voicing the same thing with droves of support and empathy and relatability- starpuppy, that no pretty privilege girl, the don’t bring your natural hair to my event girl, SO MANY others voice this too. We need to be able to have an honest discourse WITHOUT SHAME AND ADMONISHMENT for all shade of BP. There is a huge intersectionality of colonization, forced European beauty standards, effects of coverture laws, discrimination in schools and workplaces, and even multi generational internalized racism that culminates in BW covering and altering their hair to get through the day, and BM just plain shearing it all off. Kudos to her for the courage to speak.
Thank you 👏👏
Idk why people in the comments are being so disingenuous.
👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾💯💯💯💯
No.
Exactly. She’s not expressing anything else that other woman of darker complexions wouldn’t say about their own hair. Just because she has lighter skin some women in the comments expect her to respond a certain way. It’s hypocrisy! They expect her to respond a certain way due to her lighter skin, and she expects her hair to be a certain way due to her lighter skin. Like, there’s no win.
@@legslikewhoa Agreed! I don’t understand the double standard. We should be supporting each other as BW no matter the shade. Lighter skin women suffer a different schism than darker skin women, nonetheless it all rolls up under anti-blackness and self-hate due to white supremacy. We should be able to talk about it in all its facets without shaming each other.
This is a form of self hate. She just hasn't embraced herself fully and still care about being the beauty standard, and think 4c is bad hair. This is black women mentality for you right there
She said her mom was dark skin with a looser curl pattern so she didn't learn how to take care of her hair.
Yup
So? Once she became an adult her hair is her problem.
Someone made a good point on TikTok by saying that the term light skinned isn't even used correctly anymore. It's now used to describe biracial people compared to growing up it was used to describe mono racial Black individuals with lighter skin. Most mono racial Black people with lighter skin I saw growing up in my lifetime had type 4 hair etc. They were just light skinned. I think mono racial light skinned people are becoming confused and brainwashed themselves. If you are a monoracially Black person just because you are light skinned doesn’t mean you’re going to have looser curls. You’re Black not biracial. Though hair textures always varies. It still feels weird to think your hair has to be looser because you’re lighter even though you know you are a full Black woman.
The young woman being discussed in this video also went live on TikTok discussing “is colorism only a one way street.” I personally don't believe in reverse colorism but I think she is experiencing texturism as well as featurism (when she mentioned she doesn't believe she fits the beauty standard) because she kind of has more broader features which a lot of people don't associate with lighter skinned. Overall I think she is struggling to find beauty within herself and is also wondering why she doesn't have a certain hair texture or certain facial features all because she is light skinned. And I think that's a dangerous way to think. She has to stop comparing herself to biracial women.
I agree and I just made a similar comment. I understand that language, especially slang, can change over time. However, I believe the language in the black American community changes because we don't gatekeep our culture. We leave the gate wide open and allow people to come in and start rearranging furniture. We struggle with having boundaries for other people.
THISSS! And a lot of it has to do with the difference in how they’re treated by MEN. But no one wants to talk about that part 😂
@@fin4008I agree that men do make black women feel insecure if they are not viewed as desirable. This girl is very attractive so I think that it is hard to accept the message from her. I think most men would have no problem with dating her because she looks mixed based on her facial features and they are not paying attention to her hair.
@ecarrington you made alot of great points and I agree 💯 percent🤎🤎
@namaste I definitely believe in gate keeping blackness the same way other races gate keep their culture 🤎🤎🤎
I don't understand why this light skin black woman creator is getting backlash. She stated her experience. It seems she is trying to unpack the same euro standard of beauty indoctrinations and unhealthy feelings many black women experience with our hair. The dog pile specifically by other black women doesn't sit right with me. As a dark skinned black woman, I listened carefully to what she is saying and empathizing with her growing pains as I had to go through them, albeit it differently. Why aren't we supporting her in unpacking and decolonizing her mind? I'm hearing a lot of projections and assumption by other black women. Is it because she is light-skin or am I just trippin?
It's projection. She couldn't have been more humble in her approach. Im brownskin and I wasnt offended. Even if she has some hangups or entitlement around being lightskin she's young and has time to unpack that.
They recognize she has certain privileges and want her to shut up.
I agree. Some people have hate towards others for just looking different in every shade of black. That sista didn't say anything wrong, and it's all hate. Her video is one reason why people don't speak out.
Exactly
Yeah, she didn't say anything offensive just dumb. But some people take offense to other people's lack of intelligence.
Set your own standards my God.
I agree🤎🤎🤎
No fr
Amen!!!
She's basically saying the black women who do rock their healthy full lustrous natural type 4 hair are not beautiful enough for her to feel proud of her own type 4 hair. Yal aint winning enough for her so she will worship the silky hair instead.
She didn't say that. She said she doesn't fit the beauty standard or live up to the expectation of what a light skin woman should look like.
Yes, it was very much a personal problem.
@@thewordsmith5440 Which is weird because it seems like she is just comparing herself to women who are biracial and of lighter complexion.
I mean most of us dark and brown skinned girls worship the silky hair too to the point of looking embarrassing. It's a systemic problem amongst us.
@@cfoster6804 most of Black women in general not just brown or dark skinned? You’re saying that as if monoracially lighter skinned women do not exist or are you falling into the narrative as well that only lighter skinned women have silky or looser hair textures… because skin tone doesn’t determine hair texture!
I think if she took care of her hair she would like it. Like she not even giving her hair a chance.
💯🤎🤎🤎
I feel bad for her because she is insecure and struggling with self image. I can also tell that by the amount of makeup she is wearing while just sitting in a car making this video. She is fighting texturism and colorism. Hope she is able to work that out. I’m not going to coddle her though, because she just said some goofy things. 😂
She's watching too much mixed women with type 3 hair on social media, thinking she is one of them but without the hair. She needs a reality check and to look to people who share her phenotype. She wants the 'mixed baddie' aesthetic🙄.
I don't feel sorry for her, you can tell by the make up and the look she's going for. What an airhead.
She opts in on colorism. Her problem is internalized anti blackness, internalizing colorist views and being texturist herself
I hope she figures it out as well🤎🤎🤎
4C could easily become the beauty standard if it was promoted heavily in bl@ck media but it is not. BW also have a part to play in this. Stop giving traffic, attention, views, etc to women that DO NOT look like you. These are the women that will be heavily promoted in the media because that is what garners attention.
For reference, I don’t shop from stores that have a lot of dark skinned male models but all the female models are light skinned. I don’t primarily watch female RUclipsrs that do not look like me. I don’t click on videos about celebrity news of women that do not look like me. I don’t negatively comment on 4C hairstyles. I don’t watch movies that cast biracial women in roles that should be for BW (I will watch if they cast the biracial in a role that was originally for a WW though 🤭). These are just examples of ways to allow 4C hair to become the beauty standard and stand in solidarity with women that look like you.
I agree🤎🤎🤎🤎
Excellent. I love this comment ❤❤❤❤🎉🎉🎉🎉
Yes! 👏🏾 I love this philosophy, call it out. I wish 4C could be as accepted and we could make a beauty standard that includes more Afrocentric or monoracial features
The girl should watch some Joy-el…
I think Joy-el is biracial but yes she does have type 4 hair and light skin never the less so it may help her with confidence 🤎
I love Joy-el
She has a lot of great tips on loving and styling her 4C hair and has probably talked about texturism before
She's not wrong: I think that colorism/texturism has Black folks in the mindset that a light skinned person "should" have looser curls as part of the whole aesthetic of being closer to white. It is so strange that this is still so pervasive because we know that there are a PAZILLION skin tones and hair textures and combinations among Black people 😂 For ex : my mother was very light with very coily hair; my father was heavily melanated (think Bill Duke) and his hair was very soft and could be styled easily with just water
Yeah most of the light skin people in my family have the kinkier but fuller heads of her hair the dark skin have type 4b and sometimes type 4a and 3c.
Right. We need to have an annually reoccurring lessons on Punnett squares and genetic traits😂😂😂 I too am a pale ginger with 4b hair from two darkskin parents. 1 with straight hair, 1 with loose Jerry like curls😅 as well my 9 siblings who appear to be everything in between
She not wrong at all. I'm a monoracial black woman with two confirmed black parents and I have 2b/3c hair and light brown eyes. I am automatically assumed to be biracial or none black. Light skinned black women have turned their nose up to me because my features don't match and have said as much. That I'm very pretty for a dark skinned woman. This is why I stay in my lane about beauty standards. The attention I get from men vs my sister who is slim and very afro feminine told me everything I needed to know. I've questioned men who date me why they turn their nose up to women like my sister and I learned it was because they seek those none black features as a bragging right. Imagine their disdain when they see my children with the "correct features". Don't get me started about when I post with my daughter who has 4c hair and a shade lighter than me. Whew child. I hate it here.
growing up all the light-skinned black people around me had type 4 hair. the latina girls or mixed girls had curls but the light skinned girls that had the same black facial features as anyone else of sub-Saharan African descent had what we referred to at the time as "nappy" hair.
also soft is not a curl pattern. wth is that even supposed to mean. type 4 hair is already soft.
I am light skinned with 4A hair. I had to learn to deal with my hair texture. I blame the media for portraying the stereotypical light skin with so called good hair. When I grew out my natural hair it wasn't anything like that...I struggled at first but learned to take care of it in its natural state and moved on. Hair is not indicative of race nor skin color.
🤎🤎🤎
I had a mixed friend key word had . Who said the same exact thing , literally verbatim . At the time I wore my hair straight (non relaxed for over a decade now) . I went back fully natural 2 years ago , no heat, my txt is 4a , I’ve know my texture since I first went natural . If she saw me full African now with my hair . Should would turn red 😂😂😂 because over the years she had tried her hardest to prove to me how she was the preference and how BW are jealous of her ( was told that by her yt mother ) . 😂😂😂
I wish people would stop telling mixed women that we are jealous of them. 🙄 If anyone is jealous or envious of them it's the white women that birth them. Catch that tea. ☕
Classic!!
i had a friend like this but her mom was blk. it would be nice to make female friends that aren’t competing over men. it’s pretty annoying at this point
She is right. Light skin beauty standards are not just based on colorism it is also based on texturism. If you are light there is an expectation you have a particular hair texture that is looser, lighter, with more curl than coil. And I really wish people would stop lumping all black hair into these 3s and 4s. Black people can have 36 different foundation shades but only 6 hair texture types??? That's why people are always fighting over who is really 3B-4C.
Great point and yes the hair chart doesn’t fully cover the variety of our hair types 🤎🤎🤎
Yes!!!!
Absolutely
I get her point, I have witnessed many people make comments about a person who is light skinned and their hair is course. People do point it out. It can make you insecure.
Right like Doja Cat talking about her 4C hair. It shouldn’t be surprising that her hair could be 4C
well on one hand she needs to stop perming and accept her coily hair, but on the other hand she did hold herself accountable for having a problematic view. so yea idk 🤷🏿♂️ what
True🤎🤎🤎
The whole thing is sad and pathetic.
Very pathetic.
I agree smh 🤦🏾♀️
It's giving Deyjah Harris. She basically said the same thing.
Yep 👍🏾 I remember that 🤎
Are we going to ignore that many Black women who feel like this?
I’m a brown skinned black woman with loose curly hair , it’s close to wavy and when I wear my curls out I get a lot of attention from people looking at me as if I’m an alien to people asking if I’m mixed . I’ve gotten it from both black and white people . I have come across some people that thought my hair was fake until I explained that I was born with it but I get lots of questions sometimes .
It’s unfortunate looser curls automatically make people assume you’re mixed because like the black woman in the video stated black people are not a monolith 🤎🤎🤎
@ I hate that and I try to explain it but they don’t want to listen.
Well said !!! People just don't understand Genetics!! So sorry you have to go through this and people's ignorance
2:14 I hate when women says this… like, some of us are good. Ugh.
“I love that I benefit from colorism but it’s too bad I don’t benefit from texturism as well 😢” gtfoh mam lmaooo
Right smh 🤦🏾♀️
Yeah
I wanted to say so bad. Girl just put on a wet and wavy wig and go live your exotical dreams.
Yall are putting words in her mouth
@@iidentifyasaPSLGoddessright she was acknowledging her privilege but it’s still not good enough. You can never be progressive enough online for some reason 🤦🏾♀️
Whatever hair texture you have is the one you should love and honor the most.
I agree🤎🤎🤎
1.I had to giggle watching her be triggered by a spongebob reference (oh brother, this guy stinks)
2. Light skin/mixed people have trouble not making their skin tone their personality. that falls on the parents who uphold certain beauty standards.
3. Body/hair dysmorphia
4. I myself and light skin with a coarser texture that my mom stayed melting off with relaxers but my dark skin sister was always praised for her banana curls that stayed chemical free. While i was going natural she debated doing relaxers.
Kinky hair requires patience and tender love and care to maintain health, it’s unfortunate that parents are doing their little girls a disservice by not teaching them proper hair care. Once you learn proper hair care these girls would find out just how beautiful and versatile their hair really is. What other hair texture can be worn kinky, braids, curls, afro and bone straight without chemically processing the hair.
Just like she did nothing to make herself light skinned, she can do nothing to change her hair. She’s lives in a world where she doesn’t have to embrace it, though. Perm your hair, get a sew in and masquerade as the person you want to be. It does feel like self hatred, though, and as someone said earlier it does seem like she wants to fit a mixed profile versus a light skinned profile. If she kept the topic on texture and didn’t bring color/ shade into it, she may have had better results.
I get what she’s trying to say. If you’re light skinned( not mixed race or biracial), people expect you to still have a looser curl pattern and less full features. Even other black people. Even when you say “I’m just black, just light skinned” they still hold you to a different… often unattainable beauty standard for most black women. I tell people if you look hard enough you can see I’m not mixed. I literally only have the light skin. Everything else; my shape, nose, lips, hair, voice, etc are “black” features or characteristics
Good lesson for her to learn in life! Beauty is not determined by your hair texture or skin color…. Life will teach her ✨✨✨
💯🤎🤎🤎
Congrats on your 8k!!! 🎉🎉🎉
Thank you so much 🤎🤎🤎
@@CoffeeCuties777Congratulations 🙌🏽💕
As a light skinned woman with coily hair I experienced the same insecurity growing up. My siblings all have looser textures and I felt like mine was a curse or holding me back from experiencing their privilege. I noticed how depending on how my hair was styled, I would be perceived as mixed passing. That messed with my self perception as a teen.
As I got wiser I realized I had to abandon eurocentrism bc even as a lighskinned woman, my blackness is still evident. There is no hiding it and it shouldn’t be concealed. I am just one beautiful flavor of blackness. I feel unique and beautiful as a light skinned 4b babe and I wear my afro with so much pride now. Look to black women that you admire and all the other bs stops being relevant.
That’s awesome you were able to find you confidence 🤎🤎🤎
She rubbed me the wrong way with the light skin comment. She really needs to be more concerned with the health of her hair.
I agree…I think she’ll learn to love her hair if she learned to properly take care of it🤎🤎
What she said is the truth tho
So she shouldn’t acknowledge her light skin privilege? Which is it lol
Wow!!!! So sad that she feels because she is light skin, she should have finer texture hair.
So I guess she is mad when she sees a darker person with straighter hair.
This is crazy!!!!!
Im just really speechless and just hope she learns to embracing her hair.
Finishing the video, she should have labeled this differently.
I am brown to light skinned with 3c-4a hair. People ask me quite often if I’m mixed because of my hair. But I can understand where she’s coming from because we mostly see people with lighter skin having a looser hair texture.
Lmao I hate that I know people who feel just like her !!!!I am chocolate with curly hair and people always call me “black” instead of dark skin …
She never said that
She gone make me stop wearing wigs all together 😩 cuz what? Our hair is beautiful
I agree🤎🤎🤎
We should wear type 4 hair extensions and wigs ❤
@@Blue.1889 I agree and then I don’t. It’s still not our hair and many times they create these fake textures out of the same Brazilian or “Malaysian” hair. Also my hair isn’t 4C. It’s too much to unpack my head hurts I’m putting in braids as we speak 😩
In my experience, everyone but “mixed” people have made me feel awkward for how my hair looks. As a mixed raced Hispanic woman with coily hair, I experimented with locs and I had both unambiguous black people as well as Eurocentric looking Latinos tell me my hair style was for people who are actually “black” and that it wasnt for me even though I have a kinky coily hair texture. I’ve also get questioned if my hair is a wig when I wear my Afro out by whites and blacks but when my hair is straightened or flat ironed, I get no such questions.. its society pushing that on light skinned or mixed black women, mainly by people who are unambiguously one race.
Oh wow 😮 that’s very unfortunate..thanks for sharing from your perspective and I’m happy to hear it didn’t stop you from being experimental and embracing your coily hair 🤎🤎🤎
Same! Ppl think my straight hair is real
3:11 that's because that's not what she's trying to say lmfao. So would a dark skinned woman say she feels insecure and ugly because she naturally has type 3 hair but people would have expected her to have type 4 hair since she's dark skinned??? That was rhetorical btw. People make the dumbest arguments to defend already dumb takes.
Also when she tried to claim she can relate to dark skin women just because she didn’t get the same privilege as light skin girls with loose curls was so ignorant. She implied that all dark skin women have 4c hair which isn’t true. I’m a dark skin woman with 3c/4a and my dark skin grandma has looser curls than me. Her hair is 3a/3b hair.
Right she definitely made a lot of assumptions about dark skin women but was on disagreement when assumptions were made about her related to hair🤎🤎
It also implies that she feels entitled in some way, which is really sad. Dark skinned women have a wide range of features and hair textures as well as skin undertones. The system and the mindset we have kept been pushing is very toxic 😢
Like you said, I hate that people only feel like they can “relate” to dark skin women as if the entirety of our experience is struggle when they don’t fit a certain beauty standard when we all need to be reprogramming and rejecting those beauty standards in the first place. I think it’s quite ironic by and large dark skinned people are assigned in people’s imaginations as only having certain facial features and hair curl patterns, which is dehumanizing in itself. I’m also dark skinned with 3c/4a hair and my mom is also dark skinned with looser hair than mine. In general I fit in a weird space when it comes to “beauty politics” and objectivity observe there’s a lot of healing to be done
@alonaonyoutube excellent points. I agree with what you said. It is as if people have forgotten that in any one black family you have a lot of diversity of skin tones and features . Tge term 4c is so misleading. Are all 4c turks the same ? Same thickness ? Same porosity? Same with 4a and 3c. And what about so many of us who have 3 or 4 different curl patterns on our heads ? Why doesn't anyone talk about this ?
@@maureenpemberton5991 right! Interesting to note 4c was not included in the original Andre Walker system (Type 1,2,3,4) for curl pattern typing, and a lot of people think all type 4 hair is 4c, and others straight up lie about having 4c hair. (for whatever reason). I think the Andre Walker system is good in the fact that it’s accessible and easy to grasp, but like you mentioned people have no clue whether they have coarse or fine hair strands, higher(thick) or lower(thin) density, low or high hair porosity etc., and a lot of the frustration with hair care comes in with ignoring those facets of your hair. I saw the LOIS hair typing system some years back I felt was a lot more helpful as it looked at more dimensions that just curl pattern, but everything has its pros and cons
There's a lovely, light skin, natural 4c hair creator named Taylor Anise that rocks her natural hair with confidence. Ladies, it's been long enough. Time to break away and start learning and loving what God gave you. It's yours!! Take care of it and wear it with confidence. PERIODT! #NOMOREEXCUSES🧑🏾🦱
I know who she is and yes she’s very beautiful…and yes I agree🤎🤎🤎
Joy-el is another light skin biracial woman that has 4c hair. She has a video where she expresses why she loves her 4c hair and why other women should too.
Well she’s telling the truth whether people like it or not.
She’s telling her truth🤎
She has a point about the standard of beauty in our community. I remember being in church and there was a mom with 2 daughters, one light and one dark. Other church members would literally ogle the light skinned child and her hair, while ignoring the darker child, whose hair was silky yet curlier. Both girls were/are gorgeous.
I just wish we would listen to each other when we speak on our experiences on either side. I’m light skinned with 4a/4b hair and the expectation from other black folks was to have hair closer to what they thought mixed people have. The shock of people realizing that 1) I’m not mixed and 2) I regularly got relaxers. We keep projecting feelings on to people that may not hold them: I never once thought I was better because I was light with long hair. Others assumed that for whatever reason (maybe they themselves thought that light is better, I don’t know). I suffered real identity issues that I think the creator is going through. Maybe being older now and not giving any f***s about what people think (plus therapy) have made it so that I can embrace all of my beauty. I hope the creator gains perspective and heals.
I think the wording threw a lot of people off even though I personally wasn’t offended. I do wish however skin tone wasn’t emphasized so much in the conversation and we focused more of the different experiences having coily hair based off our experiences and I hope she finds her way as well🤎🤎🤎
Your comment, "(maybe they themselves thought that light is better, I don’t know)," can probably be answered by "would literally ogle the light skinned child and her hair, while ignoring the darker child"- that reaction towards the light skinned child sends a very clear message.
@@Introverted.Bookworm indeed, but I doubt they would admit it.
@@lemiraburnette6659 I'm just confused as to why she is acting oblivious.
Her video wasn't made for dark-skinned women she was talking to other light-skinned women. What she is actually saying is that she doesn't receive the full priviledge because she has 4c hair and she wants people to sympathise with her . I don't think people are deeping how insensitive, narcissistic and anti - black this is. She is crying about only getting the light skin and not the 3a hair .
Yeah it’s very unfortunate she feels that way because she’s beautiful and should embrace her uniqueness as a way to stand out not blend in🤎
There are whte women crying/complaining bc they are'nt blonde or treated like blondes, when the priviledge is one dye away.
Everyone has insecurities, from their perspevtive they are under priviledged. having no empathy is demonic.
I am not the hair police. However, I don't see 4c texture. I wish that she could see my two younger cousins. They are fair. And they rock the mess out of their 4c coils. They are some gorgeous dolls. This young lady is glamorous. She doesn't see her hair as such. T.M.H. did not make one mistake on your beautiful self; young miss.❤
🤎🤎🤎
You reached 8k before the year is up 🎉🎉 Congrats I remember you said you were trying to and you did 😊
Yes thank you so much…I reached it with 3 days to spare🥹🤎🤎🤎
You’re born exactly how you’re meant to be. She’s worried about her hair, but she has very black facial features as well. So her not meeting European beauty standards go beyond her hair. The standards she’s speaking of are her own. 😅 She needs some help & healing.
She came online and poured out her heart about her insecurities regarding her natural hair and the greater response to her is basically "shame on you for your insecurities" because she prefaced her statement by saying she is "light skinned?" This is wild😂.
We really need to treat each other with more love in this community. The truth is that these insecurities about our natural hair go deep and many of us have had to unpack them at one time or the other. We get so easily triggered by the messenger instead of focusing on the message.❤❤.
The message was in light skin and think I deserve to have something better than 4c hair. But okay 😂
@fin4008 🤣okay so if that's we heard, shaming her the way most people did is not how we "educate" her. In fact, i dare say the "lightskin" comment means she really needs help.🤣
Actually anthropologists say Europeans have fur while Blacks have real hair. Every Black person must learn to appreciate their hair no matter the texture.
I didn’t know that and I agree🤎
🙄 the beauty standard has always been European. Im assuming she wants to be “the black beauty standard”. Girl please I’m dark skin and beautiful so 💅🏾
🤎🤎🤎
When it comes to black women, there’s always a ladder we never get to the top of. If you have the hair you’re still too dark. If your dark but have barbie features you’re still behind the hazel eyes. And should you reach the top. You then a pend way too much time trying to prove you’re pro black. 😖
Struggling with loving your hair is something a lot of Black women have experienced and can emphasise with so why not just focus on that ? What does the colour of her skin have to do with it ? We already know there are nuances to privilege in the black community so why is she mentioning her skin tone ?
Great point because I would have gotten the message without her stating the obvious 🤎
All I have to say is that.. she’s weird lol this is sheer brainwash. 4c hair is beautiful! I wish I had 4c hair! Those curls are astonishing! Thanks for the video sis and Happy New Year Beautiful!❤🎉
Happy New Year🤎🤎🤎
I wonder if she'd feel the same about her hair IF she had darker toned skin
She probably would since she thinks 4c hair typically belongs to brown or dark skin women 🤎
I think her hair is beautiful but ok she need to be around more positive people cause I would hate for her to have a daughter with the hair she wants she will be jealous she need healing
Smh she’d rather push her hairline back like a kung fu warrior than embrace her NATURAL texture? Smh this is madness. In 5-10 years she will regret this when the hairloss becomes permanent.
I hate that we black women have no compassion for lighter skinned black women…..they’re not supposed to complain or celebrate themselves or breath too heavily or have an opinion on their existence and experiences. I completely understand what she’s saying. Texturism is real.
I highlight black women of all shades who share their experiences and perspectives about their coily natural hair rather that experience be good or bad🤎
I am really enjoying your topics they are so interesting. You are speaking about what a lot of us think, but dont say
Thank you so much 🤎🤎🤎
She may seem a little shallow but it’s her hair and she can wear it any way she likes it. She doesn’t have to wear it natural or feel pressured to do so. She may need to work on character and what’s truly important 😊
No one is pressuring her to wear it natural at all …we are only discussing it because she talked about her insecurities with her natural hair🤎
@@CoffeeCuties777 I enjoy your content and I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that someone was pressuring her. Maybe I should have worded it differently. She shouldn’t feel like she has to wear her hair naturally for any reason. Thanks to the hair industry, we can do whatever we want with our hair. We should not put one choice or type over another. We should be grateful for what we have.🙂
@@SLB9634🤎🤎🤎🤎
We have been conditioned to think that everything about us as a race is bad. That is how she feels, and nobody can tell her anything. Hopefully, things change for her in the future 😢 Unfortunately, social media isnt for what she is talking about. Sis, needs to seek a therapist, because, Im sure that people are ripping her apart for sharing her story. The hate is real in our community on every side.
💯🤎🤎🤎
Just love your hair no matter what the tecture I wish this upon every black women you r beautiful with what god blessed you with
She better embrace her hair and get a consistent routine to grow it while it can grow…..shift the society focus and focus on self.There will be a time as she gets older, where it will thin out or won’t grow as fast…..appreciate your coils and grow and accept what God gave you. This is sad…
I 💯%, agree with everything you have said, she’s definitely benefiting from colorism.
I have light skin and my hair is nappy like a rug. 🤷
Do you have any insecurities surrounding it?
@CoffeeCuties777 No. Now that everyone is wearing wigs.
@CoffeeCuties777 But, when I was a child in the 80s I got made fun of because my hair wasn't long and everybody thought I was a Boy. I had boy hair and it was nappy.
Not nappy like a rug. I cannot. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
@morena1022 yes .honey, one of them old fashioned rugs from the 70s. Slaves had better than me. That's how bad it was.
Doja cat has the same issue
Yep but the difference Doja Cat is biracial and this girl is not🤎🤎
There’s a lot of competition between light skin black women and biracial women on who’s look the most European adjacent boo hoo 😭
Yeah that’s true unfortunately
I don’t understand the hype of wanting to be biracial so much or to look that way. I hate when people even assume me being light skin is mixed because I love being black and people should be happy with themselves to not wanna change
So she really think all light skin women have fine to medium hair wow I have so many family members that are light skin and have very thick hair I wish I had thick hair I have fine hair and it’s limits to what I can do with it our hair is beautiful especially if it’s healthy girl who cares what people think she’s to old to care about what people think smh
Were the support for brown skin woman i am i just crop liver
I have a 🤎 Brown Complexion with the curly hair my Niece likes to say "White People" Hair
I'm Black and in my pictures you can see growing up my hair texture. I hated doing my hair, so I got perms then I started getting weaves, I really hate doing my hair. It has nothing to do with it's texture, I just do not like doing it, I will say my hair texture made me more acceptable in certain groups given my 🤎 brown Complexion. It's just really stupid that we are still dealing with Colorism and the "Good Hair" issues... Be happy with who you are,...
It’s very unfortunate and I agree love who you are🤎
Always interesting content on this channel😀
Thank you 🤎🤎🤎
She seems like she’s unpleasant to be around. Like she thinks she’s better than darker women, but insecure around biracial women. She needs to see the Asians getting coily perms to see that light skin and coily hair do look good together.
I agree🤎🤎🤎
Having nice looking features is what makes u beautiful not your color.. js
💯🤎🤎🤎🤎
Precisely!
Imagine having the best hair type and saying that. I just don’t get it😭
I wish I had that type of hair. All of the hairstyles yall are able to do and still have hair on yall head? Mine could never. Having looser texture hair really limits the hairstyles you can do IN A HEALTHY WAY. Like ofc I can get hairstyles but my real hair would be chewed up😂
And then another thing I like about type 4 hair is that when yall have fine/thin hair you can’t tell because of how yall hair spreads. I can’t explain it but all type 4 hair be looking thick to me
I agree…I have a video coming up about this🤎🤎🤎
I am that screwface, blinking fast gift 😂 GIRL
lol 😂
If you’re pretty enough, you won’t even need hair 🙂↔️
True…I’ve seen very beautiful women with twa’s🤎🤎🤎🤎
There is no correlation between skin tone and hair texture. My grand dad was a dark skin man with type 3b hair as well as my mother. I’m light with type 3b/3c but my kid is light skin with type 4b hair. As black people we are beautiful no matter the texture of hair nor how light or dark our skin is. Beyonce is a light skin black she doesn’t look like she has curly hair
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This is why I can’t be friend with LS women like that. You’ll be chilling and having a great day, then they’ll say racist shit like this. Too triggering.
Yes if these type of thoughts are triggering to you I definitely think that’s a good idea🤎
As a DSBW, every time I befriended them I learned my lesson every. Single. Time. Them, mixed race, hispanics/latinas, and WW are so casually colorist, texturist, featurist, etc. Not all of them, but I've yet to have a friendship/work relationship with either of them that didn't eventually turn me off because of some "ism" they felt the need to casually mention around me (unprovoked). It's so gross and I refuse to tolerate keeping people around me who inherently hate me.
I am not crazy because i dont agree with her
I think there's a lot of projection here. Where did she say that "light skin" is the beauty standard of the black community? All I hear is "4C hair doesn't match the beauty standards of a light skin lady". And that's true. the beauty standard of a light skin lady is usually 3a to 3c. When you see light skin girls, you usually assume that they hair has a certain type of curl. So why pretend? It's the same as saying the beauty standard of black girls is to have big booty and to feel insecure if your booty is small. There's no reason to get offended here imho.
In my opinion she applied that by saying she understands she benefits from colorism and type 4 hair is the expected hair type for a monoracial black person (which she states she was). Type 3 hair is typically associated with a mixed or biracial woman. I personally don’t feel light skin is the beauty standard in my personal experience and I even talked about in the video how it comes down more to pretty privilege. I’m personally not offended by what she stated as that is her experience to share. I hope she finds the healing she needs to love all of herself 🤎🤎🤎
You all are doing a lot of projecting in these comments. No where in her video did she say she SHOULD have looser curls because she’s lighter skinned. You all love to put words in ppl’s mouths. The truth is, you all do not want to hear any complaints from lighter skinned ppl in the community. A lot of you all believe that the only ppl who have the right to complain about anything related to being black, is a darker skinned person. Lighter skinned ppl are just supposed to sit and be quiet until they can be used to be the face of something to prove a point and then go and be quiet again. What’s the difference between her commenting on her type 4 hair and a darker skinned woman doing the same? Y’all have no issue when a dark skinned person does it. Just admit that you all do not like light skinned women, no matter the hair texture.
I'm dark skinned and I totally understand what she's saying. 4c hair is not exclusive to dark skinned women at all. So I would never invalidate how she feels.
I personally don’t like when women come on line and talk down on type 4 hair regardless of skin tone and if you go down my page you’ll see me call out all types of black woman with similar videos and give an alternative perspective/solutions in order to help other women who maybe feeling similar. I personally don’t dislike light skin women at all and understand they have experiences and stories that deserve to be heard as well. 🤎🤎🤎
She seems more biracial thsn light skin.Even the way she speaks
How do you “speak” biracial?😂 is there a way to speak “black”?
She stated both her parents were black and lol 😆 at speak biracial🤎🤎🤎
Speaks??
@@CoffeeCuties777 see!!!! 😂😂This is what I’m talking about and was accused of sounding white ergo trying to be white. Now I’m trying to be biracial???? 😂😂
I have got to find a biracial speaking class.
I know y’all hated the “red pill” guy but this was exactly what he was referring to smh you can hate the messenger all day long but you can’t deny facts then be mad at this woman for stating what is already well known by men who peeped game. Her confidence comes from a face full of fake and a head full of it too. Hypocrisy is a legal drug.
It's not hypocritical because most of us don't wear a full face or wigs. The red pill guy is still wrong.
He isn't a "messenger" of any kind because his goal isn't to build, his goal is to despise. If he wanted women to be more confident why doesn't he start a channel that showcases beautiful natural women ?
I agree ⬆️
@@LoXenaI agree on everything you said 💯
This is sad and embarrassing. Because of this woman I’m genuinely starting to see why so many black women get angry at people like this. Like girl shut up and love yourself. Why would you come on the internet and say all this ignorant stupid shit, embarrassing us like this. DISOWNED ❌
Yes I personally don’t like women any woman comes out speaking against coily hair regardless of skin tone🤎🤎🤎
Are we going to ignore that many Black women who feel like this?
No that’s why I recommend therapy, affirmation, changing negative language towards our hair and more as a way to heal internalized texturism🤎🤎
I had a mixed friend key word had . Who said the same exact thing , literally verbatim . At the time I wore my hair straight (non relaxed for over a decade now) . I went back fully natural 2 years ago , no heat, my txt is 4a , I’ve know my texture since I first went natural . If she saw me full African now with my hair . Should would turn red 😂😂😂 because over the years she had tried her hardest to prove to me how she was the preference and how BW are jealous of her ( was told that by her yt mother ) . 😂😂😂
Wow smh 🤦🏾♀️ glad you removed her from your life🤎