Neither He, Nor She, But Me | Hannah Fons | TEDxAdelphiUniversity

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  • Опубликовано: 26 мар 2018
  • Hannah Fons focuses on gender identity as fluid, not fixed, and existing on a spectrum. Just as there are a multitude of ways to express one’s identity as a cisgender (i.e, not transgender) man or woman, there is not one way to be trans, to navigate a trans identity, or to conceive of trans people. Hannah Fons '19 was born in the cornfields of rural Iowa, and moved to New York City in 2000 to seek her fortune. She presently serves as Senior Editor at a small trade publishing company and is also a professional strength and conditioning coach at Five Points Academy in New York City. Hannah is a graduate student in the MSW program at Adelphi University's Manhattan Center, focusing on the care and concerns of LGBTQ youth in general, and transgender/gender-divergent youth in particular. Along with direct practice, she is also deeply interested in the psychospiritual history of Queer people, and exploring how mythology, folklore, and legend may be mobilized to empower Queer communities. In addition to her current work, she holds an MA in Sexuality and Gender Studies from the CUNY Graduate Center in NYC, and undergraduate degrees from the University of Iowa in Iowa City. Over the years, Hannah has also practiced multiple martial arts -- including muay thai, Brazilian jiujitsu, and capoeira -- and studied fashion at the Fashion Institute of Technology. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx

Комментарии • 187

  • @thenextbigthingishere
    @thenextbigthingishere 3 года назад +28

    There was a time when I questioned and judged, then I started to hear what I said and what I thought and realized what I had become, a bigot. Now I see this and I think, this is a human, and nothing they are doing or advocating harms me, they just want to live free, hey, just like me. Well said Hannah!

  • @bethdanster
    @bethdanster 3 года назад +68

    Has anyone stopped to think that maybe kids these days just have access to better language, reference and exposure that means they are better able to express those inner feelings? Hannah has articulated so much of this beautifully. I love it.

    • @kr-schon
      @kr-schon 11 месяцев назад +1

      NOPE - ​​⁠Pronoun means nothing because DNA 🧬 fingerprinting will be in everybody’s photo ID🥜

  • @itzpredicator3589
    @itzpredicator3589 2 года назад +30

    I live in a society where people still can't accept you if you are different from others. Watching Hannah reminds me that just because my community is behind the times does not mean others do not get it and for that I am grateful. Thank you Hannah for paving the way.

  • @ineffablemars
    @ineffablemars 2 года назад +20

    I got to 1:44 and started crying... this was my experience as a child. I remember being a child and having a toy tool box and going outside to where the men were working to pretend I was a worker like one of them. But I also loved playing dress up in my moms heels and when I was a little older I got into makeup (I love makeup now) tears are running down my cheeks as a type this... it's so validating hearing someone else talking about similar experiences.

    • @DaRyteJuan
      @DaRyteJuan 4 месяца назад

      When you’re a child there really aren’t many constraints. You can do whatever suits your fancy.

  • @kevinolomon4587
    @kevinolomon4587 4 года назад +46

    This makes me cry. It makes me cry HARD. Not for Hannah- not for other trans or non-binary folks. But for those sorts who are so closed-minded and so small & cruel that they'll never understand Hannah- nor get to know anyone similar. ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

    • @raphkisento
      @raphkisento 3 года назад +4

      Me too, I agree 100% time for more understanding.

    • @alanwoopchuck
      @alanwoopchuck 2 года назад +3

      I agree, tears are good though as it shows we care.

    • @aprildiamond6510
      @aprildiamond6510 2 года назад +3

      💙😢😢thank you

    • @sakkasufle6326
      @sakkasufle6326 Год назад

      A Gen Z tard crying over made up problems and imaginary gender spectrum. Imagine my lack of shock 😂

    • @muhammadjibran8239
      @muhammadjibran8239 Год назад

      This is madness ..... Ruining your personality just to become like a man or woman.
      She was a girl but hated her gender and wanted to become like a man.... Girls have a beautiful personality, now look at her... She has become disgusted.

  • @BenedictThambiah
    @BenedictThambiah 6 месяцев назад +3

    This is an incredible lecture. What we all need is room, respect and reciprocity.

  • @lucyhossel
    @lucyhossel 2 года назад +8

    This is such an important talk, because very quickly Hannah puts you at ease, with clear understandable descriptions of topics most people just gossip about and never bother to learn about.

  • @realjcoop182
    @realjcoop182 5 лет назад +4

    Proud to say, we've met and the Fons is hella cool.

  • @kricherds
    @kricherds 6 лет назад +11

    You nailed it H. So bummed I was out of town and missed this. For the lady in the comments that wants to meet her: You're not wrong. Hannah is one of my favorite humans on this planet. Intelligent, self aware, empathetic and ridiculously funny.

  • @maym3456
    @maym3456 6 лет назад +32

    Hannah is so amazing! A beautiful soul with a message that people need to hear. I wish that the world would understand what Hannah is saying. I love when Hannah said "Neither a he or a she, but just me" I do not understand why people have a need to identify others and feel threatened because someone is different. Everyone has the right to feel safe in this world.

  • @jessicasaigh6435
    @jessicasaigh6435 2 года назад +9

    They are so incredibly lucky to have a loving, supportive family. I would love to hear from their mother to explain her compassionate and understanding parenting. It makes all the difference. Hannah grew up feeling strong and supported. I especially loved how the mother said after the surgery, "You look more like yourself now." If more trans parents treated their children with dignity and understanding, maybe fewer trans people would attempt suicide. Hannah and their mother are wonderful examples for us all on how to treat people and live with understanding.

    • @phyllishack
      @phyllishack 2 года назад

      I was thinking the same thing.

  • @jaineyrosting
    @jaineyrosting 2 года назад +2

    Sounds like Hannah really hit the jackpot with their support network. I've known far too many people in my time who could never and would never be able to speak this freely.

  • @jaspernedivek
    @jaspernedivek 2 года назад +3

    I have used this talk to help show some friends the very perspective I have, thank you Hannah

  • @makiweshter
    @makiweshter 2 года назад +3

    I am grateful to you Hannah for having the voice and presence to speak up and educate, thank you.

  • @sariyah7175
    @sariyah7175 3 года назад +7

    So refreshing to hear a story like this where family and the like were supportive and understanding, definitely brought some tears to my eyes.

    • @shannonnikita
      @shannonnikita 3 года назад

      I know right! There are many parents who could use this lesson and understanding

  • @MaisyDaisy333
    @MaisyDaisy333 2 года назад +1

    This was an incredible talk. Thank you so much for sharing your story with us! 💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗

  • @eric-tran
    @eric-tran 2 года назад

    Great stuff here. Brilliant to hear the differences in such an articulate and experience filled way. Much appreciated.

  • @BeKind2UrSelf6
    @BeKind2UrSelf6 9 месяцев назад

    Hannahhh, I appreciate you so much for sharing your experience and perspective. It's been so helpful to use with my clients.

  • @ArvyVillamarzo
    @ArvyVillamarzo 2 месяца назад

    This is the first time I'm understanding all these words. Thank you for making it very easy to understand.

  • @baileyporter7748
    @baileyporter7748 Год назад

    I wish I’d seen this closer to the presentation date to be able to comment then. But I still want to say how wonderful this talk was to hear. I’ve revisited it a few times now. A beautiful and meaningful message presented with such a kind and smart voice. I hope Hannah Fons plans to present and give talks in the future. A really captivating presenter.

  • @moyaresgard
    @moyaresgard 2 года назад

    Thank you Hannah, this is such a beautifully put together talk and one that could educate so many as we move forward.

  • @jensjfriedemann
    @jensjfriedemann 3 года назад +3

    The run through of terminology in the beginning is the perfect start point, and defining them and three separate qualities is the perfect opening to this discussion. It really lays some solid ground work and more people need to know these terms.

    • @samanthaabadi
      @samanthaabadi 3 года назад +1

      Agreed, perfect way to help people understand.

  • @kathrynlthomas
    @kathrynlthomas 3 года назад +1

    Can I just say, I had been admiring your eyebrows from the start and was so happy when you mentioned them!! Goals!

  • @carriesisk8955
    @carriesisk8955 6 лет назад +3

    WOW. That was excellent. Thank you for getting this message out there, Hannah! Eloquent, intelligent, and informative-this is exactly what our world needs. More of this, please!

    • @pierrevilleneu
      @pierrevilleneu 3 года назад +1

      it has opened my eyes, and shut my mouth til I know!

  • @LizaWiemer
    @LizaWiemer Год назад

    Such an important talk! Thank you so much for sharing and being the amazing and inspiring YOU!

  • @artcornish3520
    @artcornish3520 3 года назад +4

    So interesting to hear Hannah's story. I loved hearing how they found themselves, felt more comfortable within themselves, despite peoples initial reactions. A really beautiful (and tough) journey but I can only imagine how it'll help other youths struggling with identity.

  • @iayanarael2315
    @iayanarael2315 Год назад

    Thank you. Best I've heard on this topic. Thanks so much and best wishes.

  • @elainehampton2314
    @elainehampton2314 8 месяцев назад +1

    Watching Hannah was so inspiring. It was such a great speech that everyone should listen to. ❤️❤️❤️🦋

  • @evanesterneg
    @evanesterneg 3 года назад +2

    Really great to have a talk that is open, honest and real- not all drama and flair (though I do love me some drama and flair). Powerfully genuine, thanks Hannah.

    • @ivanahelenka
      @ivanahelenka 3 года назад

      I thought the way Hannah presented had the perfect amount of all those things. One of the best speakers I've seen in a long time

  • @alexandrajamieson2599
    @alexandrajamieson2599 Год назад

    Thank you for sharing this and YOU!

  • @kinsleyhawker
    @kinsleyhawker 2 года назад

    This talk created a complete picture in my head of what a person may feel when they have doubts about their gender identity.

  • @realminipowers
    @realminipowers 2 года назад

    Heck yes this was such an incredible topic for a ted talk and I think Hannah has done such an incredible job explaining just what it means. Incredible!!!!

  • @jessicajohnston5693
    @jessicajohnston5693 Год назад +1

    Thank you. I hope to be a better human and a better friend to everyone. 🙏

  • @kaylacalkins489
    @kaylacalkins489 2 года назад

    Beautiful person with an amazing message. You go Hannah!

  • @sharonroberts4758
    @sharonroberts4758 3 года назад +4

    Thank you that was an amazing talk. Intelligent and beautiful .

  • @camilaanders3419
    @camilaanders3419 2 года назад

    Perfect talk Hannah! thank you for being so Brave!

  • @susanbuckingham4981
    @susanbuckingham4981 6 лет назад +2

    Wow....clear and concise...thank you.

  • @tterrydoyle
    @tterrydoyle 3 года назад +1

    I respect people like Hannah. They have the courage to be what they like!

  • @lucyholmesisme
    @lucyholmesisme 2 года назад +2

    I love how Hannah explains the differences in Gender, S3xuality and the like. I really was unsure of how to differentiate between them and now I do!

  • @DaRyteJuan
    @DaRyteJuan 4 месяца назад +1

    This is probably one of the best talks on transgenderism I’ve ever heard. Some who feels more masculine than a typical woman, but also doesn’t try to impose herself onto what it means to be a man either.
    Acceptance ought to be a two way street.

  • @MarisaSalvartoLoungeSongs
    @MarisaSalvartoLoungeSongs 2 года назад +2

    how beautifully and authentically presented. I am cisgender person trying to find an understanding around the needs of those around me. This was really really helpful. thank you.

  • @peterdgrubb
    @peterdgrubb 3 года назад

    Hannah, your strength and resilience are mind blowing. Your strength of character and confidence are seriously inspiring. I want to hear more from you!

    • @hasnain-jeelani
      @hasnain-jeelani 3 года назад

      They're so incredibly beautiful, inside and out

  • @theupwardspiral1580
    @theupwardspiral1580 6 лет назад +3

    all of this needed to be said. and this was perfect. the "static" part totally resonated. i hope im a mom like that too. this is why i want to adopt everyone lol

    • @muhammad-baksh
      @muhammad-baksh 3 года назад

      I know what you mean, I am the same way.

  • @ucheajubige3730
    @ucheajubige3730 4 года назад +3

    Currently we spoke , chat and discuss important issues of life I can proudly tell you that Hanaah is such a wonderful, gifted, unique individual . I keep loving hana each and every moment we chat. She is so amazing and special . She is among the few people created by God to impact the human race positively. God bless you Hanaah

  • @zusanneahlin3046
    @zusanneahlin3046 8 месяцев назад

    A great person and interesting to listen at.Thank you ❤❤❤❤❤

  • @mikethesailor
    @mikethesailor 2 года назад

    This is so good, so much honesty.

  • @ronniehambeka5064
    @ronniehambeka5064 Год назад +2

    the crowd missed a great opportunity to give an applause at 16:00
    "Just because your culture doesn't acknowledge or value what you are; doesn't make what you are the problem!"

  • @susancarrier4681
    @susancarrier4681 Год назад

    This presentation is so informative, valuable, and illuminating. Thank you for sharing your truth and helping our whole species develop into something better.

  • @lynnelowe8461
    @lynnelowe8461 Год назад

    Excellent TED talk. I learned so much from this. Thank you so much for sharing your experience. Much Love. Lynne

  • @geraldemery1417
    @geraldemery1417 2 года назад +1

    Hannah is divine! What a beautiful soul and an incredible speaker. We have so much conditioning to shed and it's people like Hannah that are leading by example. I love it.

    • @maehaslet
      @maehaslet 2 года назад

      This was the best ted Ive ever seen without a doubt

  • @AdirondackJenScott74
    @AdirondackJenScott74 6 лет назад +12

    Yaaaaaahhhhhhh!!!! I've been WAITING for this to be released, SUPER!!!! This is so amazing, wonderful and I love this, yes yes yes!! Thank you!! The world needs an hour++ long version of this fantastic-ness!! They should play this TedTalk at those lamaze classes for new parents, so their kids can grow up with compassion & freedom to be whoever they are. Change the binary dialogue, that is where it starts. Thank you!

  • @garymacdonald5370
    @garymacdonald5370 3 года назад +2

    Hannah is exquisite! It's hard enough being human let alone struggling with one's identity. Hannah could really help some grade school children I dare say.

    • @eirajansta
      @eirajansta 3 года назад

      Honestly I can't wait to show this to my kids, I think they'll get a lot out of it.

  • @windowtrimmer8211
    @windowtrimmer8211 Год назад

    Splendid presentation. Thanks.

  • @erinwright3351
    @erinwright3351 6 месяцев назад

    Oh my gosh, what a beautiful person, inside and out ❤

  • @marekdluzniak
    @marekdluzniak 3 года назад +2

    What a fascinating journey. I had to google search you! And I think your Mother is a writer? Makes sense because the way in which you articulate and carry yourself is mesmerizing. Thank you for speaking so openly, so very much appreciated

    • @tonyiquintero
      @tonyiquintero 3 года назад +1

      Hannah has incredible presence on that stage, such a joy to hear and watch

  • @carollcole
    @carollcole 3 года назад

    Beautiful beautiful soul, bless you Hannah.

  • @brielleanyez7113
    @brielleanyez7113 Год назад +1

    you are absolutely beautiful ❤️ thankyou for this.

  • @hasnain-jeelani
    @hasnain-jeelani 3 года назад +4

    I loved hearing about when you arrived in NY and really coming into yourself. This life sounds like it would make an incredible movie script. There are many young people who need to hear this story.

    • @macyduens
      @macyduens 3 года назад +1

      I often think of NY as a city to lose and then find yourself

    • @hasnain-jeelani
      @hasnain-jeelani 3 года назад

      @@macyduens exactly!

    • @yogidevish
      @yogidevish 3 года назад

      I have heard many stories of NY but I think Hannah's feeling of the place is how I imagine it to be

  • @frankiebingxinyu2947
    @frankiebingxinyu2947 Год назад

    we need more this kind of talk

  • @smithgaming7732
    @smithgaming7732 2 года назад

    Amazing and eye opening

  • @ianrendle
    @ianrendle 2 года назад

    Great story of the inner personality coming to life.

  • @jessiesangster
    @jessiesangster 3 года назад

    14:08- the price of truth is solitude… This is a true statement of choosing yourself over a relationship and is a very powerful statement. In the wrong hands, it could be so dangerous and isolating. I am so happy that we live in a world now where these discussions are happening and a community is building around acceptance of the individual rather than their conformity.

    • @judeblyth3606
      @judeblyth3606 3 года назад

      Gosh me too! It has taken us much too long

  • @marcynielsen5837
    @marcynielsen5837 Год назад +1

    This is the coolest human I've ever seen/heard..... this is how I feel about gender exactly 💯

    • @bookgirlny8511
      @bookgirlny8511 Год назад

      I totally agree. As a middle school teacher, I feel humbled yet grateful for people like them who share their stories.

  • @jamesyuille9534
    @jamesyuille9534 2 года назад +1

    Probably the best video on this topic I've seen, and I've seen hundreds. Congrats Hannah. Thank you. Straight male with female gender identity.

  • @malachijude
    @malachijude 3 года назад +1

    I know you have no doubt suffered to find your path, but I love how unashamedly you you are and your stories of your youth. I wish I had the sense of self that you have. I have a long way to go.

    • @diggerreese
      @diggerreese 3 года назад

      An inspiration, we all need some Hannah in our lives.

  • @kenyacorteportela9368
    @kenyacorteportela9368 2 года назад

    thank you so much for this video

  • @Seeyatellite
    @Seeyatellite Год назад

    Hannah gives me hope I have the chance to find people who accept me enough that I no longer hide just to fit in comfortably.
    Discomfort with yourself shouldn’t be a requirement for comfort among your friends and family.

  • @macyduens
    @macyduens 3 года назад +1

    Incredible speaker and a topic that I believe the vast majority of the population needs a little perspective for and my goodness, Hannah is superb!

  • @miriamhilley
    @miriamhilley 3 года назад

    2021 and people still have to explain themselves, good talk!

  • @dudley4318
    @dudley4318 3 года назад +1

    Everyone has to live the life they like. Forget all the stereotypes.

  • @ZARinVA
    @ZARinVA 6 лет назад +18

    Thank you so much for doing this talk. I've bookmarked it to use whenever someone asks me to explain my kid's gender. People are so used to thinking in the binary, that they just can't seem to wrap their heads around anything non-binary, let alone a non-binary gender.

    • @MustyUnderboob
      @MustyUnderboob Год назад

      What's your kid up to now four years later?

  • @arsdenis
    @arsdenis Год назад +1

    🥰👏🤗❤️ tnx for sharing your experience with the world 🤗

  • @easyrider9366
    @easyrider9366 2 года назад

    I struggle with this, not lieing, I do!

  • @eddysgarage
    @eddysgarage 2 года назад

    a real eye opener here

  • @AnaMaria-my1we
    @AnaMaria-my1we Год назад +1

    I am just finding out that I also have some masculine part in me that I always had. I would love to meet more people like this. Like Hanna who I find is an amazing being and I would love to talk to them and find out what makes them tick. Could I ever talk to her? Amazing!❤❤❤

  • @giacomots
    @giacomots 2 года назад

    Variation is the biggest thing. I always wonder how much is based on conditioning. I feel Hannah on many levels. I am definitely a non-conformist. I feel better about that now having heard Hannah speak out. This is brilliant.

  • @Jonny-wt3rg
    @Jonny-wt3rg 3 месяца назад

    If life was more difficult this wouldnt even be a discussion..

  • @ctmelear
    @ctmelear 6 лет назад +8

    Excellent explanation of terms I didn't understand. Hannah is so beautiful and speaks so well. I recommend this TED Talk to everyone. Someday I want to meet her.(Oh dear is that the correct pronoun?) I love hearing about how her mother gave her the love and support she needed.

    • @hannahfons8320
      @hannahfons8320 6 лет назад +4

      Totally the right pronoun! (In my case, there really isn't a 'wrong' one!) :)

  • @ninamenes
    @ninamenes 2 года назад

    In this day and age it is just awful that people are still scared to say who and what they are. Well done TED!

  • @justwill6625
    @justwill6625 Год назад

    Great talk. Brought with humor, I loved it.
    Wouldn't it make everything so much easier if things like different genders was tought at school in biologyclass?
    That there are more genders then just male or female, but also both in the same body, or neither.

  • @rosiealturo14
    @rosiealturo14 2 года назад

    I wish so much that people could understand that societal conditioning has done a number on us in regards to prejudice and stereotypes. I genuinely believe we won't be free until we shed ourselves of such beliefs.

  • @davefisher1840
    @davefisher1840 2 года назад

    Excellent 👍

  • @pierretheiller2394
    @pierretheiller2394 Год назад +1

    At 4:14 I appreciate what Hannah says. Also a lot of what Hannah mentions.
    Hormones and surgeries those are not the things that define or legitimize a trans identity.
    In the binary context of society, however, it is often handled in this way.
    You can have an f or an m in your passport. As a legal document.
    Often you are taken seriously when you take steps. Such as the alignment of the body.

  • @gabrielivar
    @gabrielivar 3 года назад +2

    Put aside your judgement, and just hear Hannah out, and it you hade prejudice I bet it will change!

  • @jenniferfarsh675
    @jenniferfarsh675 5 лет назад +1

    ❤️

  • @morongocho6795
    @morongocho6795 3 года назад

    En que momento de toda mi vida toque para ver este video??????

  • @superlizard001
    @superlizard001 4 года назад +3

    Also follow Hs' instagram.

  • @bcacres9837
    @bcacres9837 2 года назад

    Beautiful talk, as awkward as this sounds, this is bringing humanity to humans, because first and foremost thats what we all are first.

  • @cmonster2424
    @cmonster2424 Год назад

    Okay but does anyone know where to get that suit vest thing

  • @aaronereid
    @aaronereid 3 года назад +1

    Hannah, I would love to know what you feel about Gina Rippon's research! Your talk is beautiful and I think a lot of people need to see this to fully understand. Sharing right away!

  • @julieb7866
    @julieb7866 Год назад

    Thank you for helping me to understand your situation better. :}

  • @susanpqpowell
    @susanpqpowell 2 года назад +1

    You are happy to have a wonderful, understanding family. But I know stories where children were denied because they didn't feel that they have the right body or had other preferences.

  • @roundblueduck
    @roundblueduck 2 года назад

    I wish I had this courage. I think I'll be "trapped in the halloween costume", dealing with bearable, for ever

  • @lucycarlos4923
    @lucycarlos4923 Год назад

    😲 wow

  • @cashlaineharles2692
    @cashlaineharles2692 Год назад

    💚💚💚💚💚💚

  • @stanhopeishere
    @stanhopeishere 3 года назад

    Thanks for making everything clear. I was sure that $exual orientation and $exual identity are the same things.

  • @myfavoritestories
    @myfavoritestories 2 года назад +2

    I believe once we have all accepted gender non-conformity, when we've finally released the shackles of stereotypes, only then will be free!

  • @K-o_S
    @K-o_S 19 дней назад

    Hannah looks and sounds like Marilyn Manson and I think that's pretty cool 🥰

  • @rubylcharlotte
    @rubylcharlotte 3 года назад +1

    Why do we have to label everything? Can’t we just be what we are and get on with life? Seriously, as long as you aren’t causing others suffering, you do you! I often feel like this need to label feeds the ‘us and them’ mentality.

    • @oscarkluk
      @oscarkluk 3 года назад +2

      Pretty sure that's Hannah's whole point!

  • @calebandxion
    @calebandxion Год назад

    Trans ≠ across from.
    Trans = to go across, extend across, through. (You know, like how you transition from one place to the next)
    Hetero would probably be a better fit. It means another. There's other, better terms probably but that's the one i first thought