A Father's Dilemma: Stay or go?
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Rich, the music comes too loud at the end of the video... If I'm listening to your playlists at a reasonable volume then the music gets annoyingly loud
Don’t leave your child for another country but also don’t get forced into having another child. She is playing on your emotions to be a dad and is trying to extend that dadship by having another child
Also Australia and Spain especially in the urban areas have a very different family structure. I totally understand this guy when he says the culture is different as someone who has lived in Spain and currently residing in Australia.
@@MrSilverfish12
Interesting. How are the cultures different?
This.
Australia has no culture!
Most of them are just spoiled brats.
I had a great Dad. He was an honest, hardworking, and always knew what to do in every situation. So grateful I had my Dad in my life for 25 years. Yes all children need their Dad in their lives. I still miss mine.
I grew up in Australia and now live in Spain. Both countries are hopelessly woke.
I want to say Spain is worse than Australia in terms of wokeness.... Feminism is way worse in Spain
Feminism is worse in western Europe, if you think spain is bad go to france/germany.
@@Ralph_Kreutzberger-Blumenfeld yeah but at least Spanish women maintain their feminine side. In Australia it´s like you´re dating another dude; they dress like crap, swear like a trucker and have a laid back frat boy attitude that´s just flat out embarrassing. This mainly applies to girls in urban areas
@@Ralph_Kreutzberger-Blumenfeldnah Aus is worse.
Woke is a nontheistic religion, sadly.
This woman preyed on you. Women are predictors too. All guys need to learn from this situation.
never abandon your children. no matter how bad she is..
As an Australian I can see it. It's mental
there´s a reason psychiatrist and councillor visits are up 45% in the past 15 years. People in Australia are struggling mentally and they have too much money to admit it
What are the taxes like?
@@johngulloo5901 taxes are high but there´s lots of work arounds if you run a business/contractor. It´s actually an awesome place to work and make bank, but the culture and family structures are f´d
@@johngulloo5901 tax rates start at 30% plus 10% GST on top. But GST is charged at every step in the supply chain so ultimately it all gets passed on to the customer.
There are also 127 other hidden taxes plus government fees, levies and surcharges.
All in the total tax rate is well north of 60%
@@SenorTucano like Canada
I left Australia for good a few weeks ago. Very hard to build wealth when the government takes half of what you earn. Some tough decisions to be made for you
It’s way more than half mate.
@@SenorTucano Everyone forgets the GST they pay on top of personal income tax (PAYG or otherwise) and the council rates, duties on car registration, compulsory insurance, etc. You get left with very little after factoring costs of necessities such as exorbitant utility costs (electricity being the worst) and a roof over your head (in which case either the bank or the landlord is screwing you hard because of the real estate prices).
@@Arasaka I work and invest for myself and refuse to partake in any of the money traps the media is constantly pushing everyone to consume. I have never dated or ever gotten romantically involved with any woman despite my family desperately pushing them into my life. This world needs to be purged and rebuilt.
100% mate, enjoy your ride
Exactly right mate, They choose to make people's lives hell down here if they earn a lot of money, Which makes it hard to get ahear
Us Aussies and you Canadians are in the same Sinking Boat !
Gulag Australia is totally lost cause!
Ozslavia for the average wage folk!
We Europeans are not better off😢 maybe Eastern European countries are better off.
Raise the kid, dump the girlfriend and do better.
He’s got to get primary custody first. The Australian legal system is heavily biased against fathers.
Name a country where it’s not biased against the father. I would consider moving there
@@kenyonferguson1243 Russia
I'm Aussie, just gritting my teeth and grinding out a few more years to set up a great retirement and I'll be out of Oz like a shot. The government here basically hates men.
Completely empathize with this guy.
Where would you go? Asian countries are starting to hate all the old white men going there....not to mention the unruly tourists.
@@kramrollin69 I'm 45.
Mate you couldnt put it better, literally Australia wants to erradicate men.
@@seansingh8862 Sweet.....where you off too?
@@kramrollin69 that's not true. i live in thailand but I'm australian. nobody hates white people here
If you can get out of the sinking ship get out.
Australia is going down the toilet and if you can get to another country do so.
If you can communicate with your girlfriend and convince her that she would be going to a better place it would be brilliant, however by the sounds of things, it doesn’t look like you could.
It’s a sh🤬t go.
Spot on!
If you don’t like it…
F:;k off then.
Easy. 🇦🇺🇦🇺
Syria and Afghanistan ?
@@perpetualgrin5804 Australia will be just like Syria and Afghanistan soon. Our government is making sure that happens.
Dunno to all of Australia being woke
Australia is going downhill fast but you’re a high earner and you’ll be fine so don’t take the easy way out. You signed up for parenthood and you can’t just opt out for selfish reasons. Harden up and finish the job because your kid needs YOU, everything else runs a distant second.
Well said good on you
5:24 Australia is like a pool of piranhas for fathers when relationships break down. Talk to a group called Parents Beyond Breakup. DONT HAVE ANOTHER KID.
Born and live in Australia currently going through divorce.
I hope for your sake you can leave. Australian divorce could kill you !
If I didn't have kids I definitely wouldn't be here. Philippines sounds great.
Wrong. I know 2 people who have had terrible divorces from phillipinos
@@willleslie2745 interesting.
Did they live in Philippines or move back to a western country?
@@willleslie2745 divorce can happen anywhere but as long as divorce law isn't unfair.
Vietnam is the go, forget the Philippines.
The divorce law in Australia is always on the women's side. It is why I'm terrified of marrying the wrong woman.
This is one side of the story.
The other side is when she put out, he didn’t decline nor did he wear protection.
Look after your son. He needs his father.
I was in a similar situation but living in NZ, divorced, shared custody. Went to Australia and my ex was going to follow me soon after. Half a year later she changed her mind and now I have to fly to NZ to see my daughter. Such is life
Sadly she was never going to follow you. She just wanted you to go and get a higher income.
@@SenorTucano They are leeches.
Chur bro I feel for you cuz. Such is life
I was born in NZ and met my ex wife there. She convinced/manipulated with my unborn son for me to move to Australia and later have a second child. I've been seperated for 6 years and haven't been home in 10 years. I hate it here but have been sticking it out for my 2 boys. They are about to turn 8 and 10. I don't know if i will continue to live in Australia till they're both 18 or if ill leave at some point and see them in the school holidays via a plane ticket. My best advice to guys still with the woman is to start increasing her attraction to tou so she does what you want, competition anxiety, get in better shape, get a better job, be a bit distant etc. To guys who are sperated like me, stay strong be a good father, don't make the same mistake again and realise you messed up, thats unfortunately the consequences, don't chase your ex. To guys not in this situation dont be in this situation in the first place. Learn from us. Do things on your terms.
My kids live in another country because my wife left me and took them back to her home country with her. My advice is, stay in the same country as your kid at least until they're 18 and just live with the tax problem. Everyone has to pay tax and it sucks, but being there for your kid is an option I wish i had. Dont throw that away.
🎯🎯🎯🎯✔️
The only suggestion I'd have with this situation would be that if your still keen on keeping the relationship with her is say you'll agree to a second child if she agree's to moving to a new desired location (Somewhere she's happy to 'settle down' at)
He started out in Spain, moved to Australia, and is now considering moving to Eastern Europe. The kind of person who can do this is someone who is very independent and holds the importance of friends and family at a very superficial level. There's nothing wrong with being a person who can't develop roots or an appreciation for the concept of "home", but don't try to be both by getting a wife and kids. That's only going to cause you problems like here.
Excellent point. He made a commitment by starting a family. Unless his life is in danger or something severe, guess what….? He should stay and show he is the kind of man his child will respect as an adult. If he wants to move to Eastern Europe, bring them with him. By leaving he is abandoning his obligation, which is a sh*tty thing to do.
Yep. He played the wanderlust nomad too long, has itchy feet and wants to uproot his 'wonderful' girlfriend and child. He should have wrapped it up and not got her pregnant but what's done is done.
Feels like a boy not a man. It is hard... because I feel the same.
Yes, he is coming across as a spoilt boy.
@@GBU61 you are another feminist Marxist
Rich please expand on this topic.
actually met many fathers in a similar situation in Australia.
They all feel stuck and guilty for not taken the journey they wanted.
Divorce or unhappy married men in a foreign country is a terrible position to be in.
I have wanted to leave and even contemplated marrying my ex again just so she could follow me out of there.
I couldn't even get a girlfriend or she would try to leave with my kids to a third country where i didnt speak the language.
Always chasing my purpose, always good with women then you have kids and you cannot be in charge again. Learn that folks
Speaking from experience, you can always lodge a departure prohibition order against your ex in Australia to prevent her disappearing with the kids.
Your child needs you! The stats are clear. Raising a good child is the most important thing you can do for posterity.
Thank you Rich for always supporting men who need help to include myself. I’m grateful for your honesty and experience. My prayers are always with you my friend. God bless you amen 🙏.
For F sake..... don't have a child if you are not willing to do the domestic "stuff" and take responsibility. "We" (as in men) often complain about women not taking responsibility for their actions... but it cuts both ways brother.
Agree. Chooses to impregnate an older woman in AUS. Kid is 5. Woman has nested into the area as a mom. He comes off foot stomping, whiny, I wanna nomad more! Needs to grow up and sit in the result of his choice, which was to bring a child into the world.
You are another feminist Marxist
It’s not a heartbreaking decision. It’s heartbreaking stupidity.
He was 19 years old when they met, something is off.
He has to walk away happy king happy kingdom!
Every divorce father know the strugle of having to limit their opportunities and overall well-being to stay close to their kids. Rich made a great point. Australia is hostile towards fathers but does give you 50/50 custody. Similar situation here. Thought about leaving multiple times but i cannot face the sadness of my children and the suffering of them been without me. Mothers cannot discipline or guide them properly.
However, knowing what a man sacrifice to be in a foreign country or hostile environment, I can now understand men that leave their kids behind. Self protection
I just dont have the courage because if something happen to my daughters, i would never forgive myself
It doesn’t give you 50/50
@@willba3516 it does. I have it.
Obviously it would be hard for you to have if your child is a baby. But you can still get as I know dozen of guys that had. But most guys are more concerned about getting some new checks than to spend nights and weekend with their kids
At age 4 yo+ you can easily fight and get joint child custody and a schedule
It is better to fight and get 50/50 than to have all your salary going to a lazer mom that barely care for the children
@@willba3516 Yeah my brother has zero because the mother was a psycho and the courts are corrupt.
@@Arasakapoor dude. It’s a woman’s world in woke Australia. I only have 20% time with my sons and am financially destroyed
@@willba3516 Chin up brother your sons love you ❤
My friend, you’re hanging in the wrong circles. You cannot abandon your son. There’s plenty of absence of wokeness in a lot of the Eastern European diaspora here in Australia. If you don’t want to commit to her, break it off with her & stop her leading you on. You’re living a woke, modern relationship, ‘You’re not married!!!’ Your child has 13 years to go until they’re adult. Do what you want then. You need to man up, & take this boy through to manhood. Women can birth them but we can’t take them to manhood, that’s your #1 job & responsibilities. When he’s a bit older, you can have some fun travel holidays. Money isn’t everything, no one says at someone’s funeral, oh they were so rich & good with money, but a 💩dad that abandoned his son for his own whims. It’s your relationships that live on after you gone.
Similar situation, fought real hard in the Canadian court system to gain access rights to my kid, got 50/50 custody, constant on going headache to deal with her mom, however I am part of my daughter's life and plan on staying here till she's older. Like Rich mentioned, tough situation, personally I can not abandon my little girl.
On ya bike mate.
If you can’t value your family over paying taxes then you’re probably not going to be the best father anyway.
Love it well said he’s bailing out
So he’s concerned about conservative values and rights as a father - yet is contemplating abandoning his family. Makes no sense.
Aussie here. Guy sounds like a bit of a sook. $250K annual profit is pretty good, most Australians earn nowhere near that. Overall it's a great country. He needs a better accountant. It seems he has relationship issues to deal with, not business problems.
Yeah there are things about the country that piss me off but overall it’s a great place to live. Had a few friends that moved to the US but moved back within 5 years.
I’ve had my own experience of living overseas (the UK and US) and chose to live here. Once your kids are grown you are still locked in because then grandchildren are in the mix. For a lot of people the grass always looks greener but you really have to stay positive and make the best of your situation.
Australia still a great country even though its expensive as fuck to live in at the moment running away also will no help the issue
Hmmm. This is a tough one. I have two by two different women. My D discipline was not very good in my younger years. I was away and still work away from both of mines. One is an adult now, and I was never physically there much due to military service and working along side the military currently. The kids in that situation will resent you, even when you provide for them, which I have done. Frankly, you're not gonna be happy being there, and you'll probably have to submit to her will if you stay. If you go, you'll chase your dreams and be a great dude contributing to the good of society. But a piece of you will always be missing. The only true answer is to have better D discipline and have children with women that you plan to be with. Anything else will truly leave you unfulfilled.
Rich I'm proud of you for staying with your daughter. It means the world to her, you have no idea. If I had a daughter, I know I'd do absolutely anything for her
Sounds complicated because he cares which is his biggest mistake right now. This isnt as hard as it seems. 1) take all feelings and put them aside bc his feelings are being disregarded anyway. 2) she wants another kid then she follows you first offshore otherwise she can stay back and raise that one on her own 3) if she goes to another guy to have another kid, she was probably planning on that anyway - remember women dont regard our feelings only their own feelings - and she was trying to be the leader when her role is supposed to be follower… you cant have two leaders… and she wants him to stay to milk his bank accounts while he is still there and put it on lockdown…. Prob want to move the biz or “sell it” to “another company” on more favorable shores… maybe even liquidate it to protect the revenue stream… and pay yourself like a crappy employee to minimize on any child support (aka girl’s trips and the like). There’s my thoughts… for full disclosure: women love me but they also call me an a$$hole bc i am a ruthless negotiator with them… 😉👍🏻 hey let’s be honest, they are master manipulaters so serve is up
"Prob want to move the biz or “sell it” to “another company”
Selling your company to an offshore company means he has to pay tax over the transfer price. It's not that easy unfortunately.
Western countries also have guidelines & laws to when it comes to a "fair price"
*AUSTRALIA-VANUATU in 3 hours*
*ZERO TAXES* and you can see your kid as much as you want!
What is stopping you from moving to an apartment, staying in the same State, as well as different apartments in different countries? I say this because my uncle has been married to the same person over 30 years he works for Microsoft, has 3 children who are now adults and now also working for Microsoft as IT developers, he would be away for 4-6 weeks at a time had his own apartment, when he wasn’t staying there he would sub let to co workers, he had a place in the UK and NZ it seemed very strange in the 80s and 90s but makes a lot of good sense, think outside the box. Many people live apart and still have great marriages get on well with their kids, you set your own rules and boundaries, doesn’t have to mean all or nothing.
You're her safety net. Stay in Australia for your kid don't have anymore kids! If she's not your cup if crazy then find a better women (go younger it will piss her off). Best advice, good luck brother.
Great advice. I would have to stick with my kid. It would kill me to be thousands of miles away from my son (it would be even worse if I had a daughter). I don't how some people could even consider this especially considering state sanctioned pedophiles and not being their/able to guide them through the pitfalls of our societies.
I feel for you brother but as a man you have a responsibility to your child
Message for the guy writing in - suck it up and be a man, and see good on your duty to your son. You're really in a dilemma about taxes vs raising your son? I'm disgusted. Stay the course, your life comes second to his.
You must stay for your child, it is crazy to even consider leaving
Get a paternity test hell u just never know if it's yours or not. If it's yours stay be a father
Nah I would tell her if that she wants another kid she has to leave and if she goes crazy threaten to leave. You can fix the kid later
Ozslavia aka Australia has become WOKE central add the housing and taxation system its a tough gig!
After all the sacrifices, your son will say ,, fuc.y..” if you don’t give him money 😂
Make sure wherever you are going doesn't have a reciprocal child support agreement with Australia. If it does then those higher Australian taxes will look good in comparison. Secondly, if you dont pay child support voluntarily ( in the case of a no reciprocal agreement country) then you cannot visit Australia as you maybe arrested. So once you leave you will not be able to visit. Its all a lose lose for you. They need to start teaching this to boys in high school so that they learn to avoid getting woman pregnant. Make sure that you understand how much child support you will be paying...it will be huge if you are earning 250k per year.
What is success without someone you inherit to..stay with ur son
Much respect to you for verbalizing your commitment to your child.
Steven Lechner
Busy Bee Farm
Larkspur, Colorado
Of course she wants to remain in Australia. Everything there is rigged to her advantage. All the reasons he gave are the same ones that led to me leaving the US. However, I have sole custody of my child. For me, leaving without her would not have been an option. Very difficult choice. At the very least, do not have another child with her. That's just even more years she will have you by the balls.
Tough spot! I would say do the best that you can with what you have and be a good father to your son. I would avoid the extra kid. Only you can look at yourself in the mirror and make that decision.
If he’s in Australia moving to Bali, Indonesia might be a good move. Lower taxes and very close to visit your kid.
Direct flights to most Australian cities; may as well be a local flight.
no rights there.
Him vs her and the government, either way it’s a loss. Leave while you still can get a job without anyone intercepting or smearing your job applications! they will send you to broke loser if the heat begins then they will call you a loser. Go get the job and money in a good country that will support and protect your work. People here don’t understand how bad people are in Australia.
Man is 29 and woman is 37. There is the biggest red flag I've ever seen.
dude had a kid with her in a foreign country. I don't think the guy gets it
Yes it is! Been there and done that. He needs to get out!
Australia is one of the most toxic, and woke countries on the planet.
Too late for him. He has kid and needs to provide.
@@P01234y he needs to leave gulag Australia immediately!
My advice would be to accept the fact that you've screwed up and own it, don't blame your woman or your son for your poor choices and the position you find yourself in. Then decide what's more important to you, your own desires or being a father to your son. More important than the choice you make is being honest with yourself, because self-deception will only lead to resentment and disaster for your family. Good luck, brother.
You do not abandon your child under any circumstances. You commit to staying where you are for the next 10, 12, maybe 15 years and then you are free to do what you want to do. Under no circumstances, should you have another child with this woman.
You have no idea of how bad gulag Australia is!
I agree with most of the comments here. What is it to be a man? If he leaves for his selfish goals would he be able to live with himself ? A good man won’t be able to. But definitely DON’T have another child.
Leaving your son is not an option. It cannot even be considered. if you are the main breadwinner, then you decide it’s not up to her. You take your boy and you go. She comes with you unless she’s gonna be the main breadwinner. It’s not a debate.
The good - you make a lot of money - which gives you choices ! The Bad - yes - they have the power and 50% of your money ! Stick around for your son as it's the same in most places around the world ! If you leave - your son will resent you - you will regret not knowing and seeing him - being in his life ! Also it will be harder to fight her in court etc if you are not in the country. She wqill take every opportunity once you are gone for more money and to cut you off from your son ! Good luck - no easy path !
1. A father should never abandon his child, assuming the child is his. Maybe, get a paternity test.
2. Get a top gun accountant, financial planner, tax lawyer and family lawyer. Know what you want to achieve and ask the right questions.
Did he Make Sure that CHILD IS HIS first ?? All this dilemma is a waste if it's Not his Son.
He was 19 and she was 27 when they met and she was 32 and he was only 24 when the Boy was born. Something is sus to me here.
New Zealand flag on the thumbnail Rich.
That is like the flag of Indonesia and Poland. Or Texas and Chile.
They both look the same.
I live in Sydney Australia life is not easy housing is very expensive average house is 1.6 million we have the 2 nd most expensive property market in the world .
then don't buy in Sydney its not rocket science.... go regional!
If your not willing to put your life on the line and fight i would leave, the west is deteriorating fast
He should live 6 months in Australia and 6 months abroad. Best of both worlds. Taxes are high everywhere and Australia has some great weather and other positives.
You have the NZ flag in thumbnail
Great advice Sir
This guy needs to find a way to minimize his taxes. His business is online, so he should be able to set up an offshore company, an offshore trust and get an offshore business partner.
It's not that easy ever since CFC laws became a thing.
Long answer but this is a difficult situation that however can be successfully negotiated.
Divorced Aussie single dad here with a good knowledge of Australian women and Australian laws.
I’ve also just returned from the UK where my son was born to a Spanish speaking mother so I have recent first hand experience of citizenship, residency and legal custody requirements.
The key to a successful outcome for his son lies in understanding the psychology of the Australian mother and offering a solution that is appealing to her. It is better to have a win/win rather than a combative custody dispute.
As a warning, Australian family law is extremely hostile to men. Child support agency is even worse. If the father is unable to convince the mother to move he will find himself being literally held to ransom by the Australian government who will prevent him from leaving the country until they get paid.
The father must therefore leverage his strengths to play a long and patient game to win the best outcome for his son. He must make the situation appealing enough to convince the mother to move elsewhere with the kid for an extended period of time long enough to qualify for residency.
A little bit of understanding Aussie cultural psychology is in order… due to the deliberately poor education (indoctrination) system, Aussies are generally culturally naive, parochial and have little appreciation of other countries. Aussie women in particular are fearful of non-English speaking countries.
So I would suggest moving the family to an English speaking country long enough to acquire residency. The woke USA and even worse CAnada have ruled themselves out for obvious reasons. England is a much better option because:
1. As EU/Spanish citizens it should be relatively easy for you to acquire residency in the UK.
2. Your business is already European based.
3. Health care arrangements for you and your son will also be easily transferable from an EU nation to the UK.
4. Australia also has a strong cultural affinity with the mother country and the mother will find it relatively easy to plug into the culture there. living and working in the UK is also seen as a right of passage to young Aussies. This is something that could be leveraged.
Firstly he will need to determine what citizenship the son has. At the moment I would assume it’s only Australian. If the son does not have Spanish citizenship (and a passport) that must be in place before following this advice as it will give you a lot more legal rights and, as an EU citizen, make acquiring UK residency much easier.
I will assume the father is not already a British citizen or resident so I would consult an immigration specialist in order to establish your right to remain permanently in the UK. The UK government actually has a hotline where you can talk to an immigration lawyer on the phone and get advice on which type of visa application is best. The UK government website is actually quite efficient at responding to applications (completely unlike the Australian government). As a business owner it should be relatively easy to establish a UK subsidiary and acquire residency that way.
It will take a little bit if money (I think the application is around £2,500) and a few months for the visa application to progress so try to lodge this in advance. The dependant child can also be included in the application. All of this can be done quietly in advance. I would not include the mother in that application for reasons I will outline below.
Importantly, UK government bases residency on the parents not the dependant child. Therefore individual UK residency (for the father) can be established in advance by buying or renting an apartment and paying a UK council tax bill. The child may arrive later but his residency will be based on when the father’s residency began.
the whole scheme can be sold to the mother as needing to establish a UK subsidiary of the online business for tax reasons (This could legitimately be done by the way) and it could be pitched to the mother as taking an extended holiday overseas for 6-12 months with the child.
As to the Aussie mother, she can enter the UK for up to 6 months as a tourist without needing a visa. This visa does not permit her to work and she must leave after 6 months - if needed he can take her to Paris for a weekend on a visa run. Crucially she will be a tourist and not a resident.
Not applying for a residency visa for the mother can. E explained away as being costly and unnecessary.
It may take 6-12 months to fully establish official residency in the UK but remember that the father is playing the long game to ensure the best future for his so . once his residency is established his parental rights as a father are much stronger. The aim should be to place the child in a British school once you move there as this will be important in any divorce / custody battle.
I would hope the relationship improves in this situation but in the event it does not then the father can separate. At this point the father and
child are a legal residents of the UK (with favourable access to the legal system) whilst the mother is merely a tourist with no right to remain.
Crucially, the father can apply to a court (probably through a solicitor) to prevent the mother taking the child out of the country back to Australia. With no right to work she will either have to play happy families, apply and pay for a visa of her own and commence working in the UK, or she will move back to Australia without the child.
My advice to people is when you decide to have a kid with someone be prepared to stay in that country for a long time. Period. I have given this advice to many people that have shacked up with other people in other countries. I gave this advice to a female friend who had gone to Germany and they wanted to have kids. She was lonely in Germany. I said do not have kids with him in Germany unless you want to be stuck there. People Im sorry get all luved up at the time and dont think of what if this goes wrong. You are stuck there unless by some crazy reason the other partner allows you to go. I know of someone that did let his ex go back to the UK with the child as she was struggling here. But he was also from Europe and by all accounts had another kid over there. So, Im not sure he was too fussed since he seemed to be breeding his way through the world.
Once you have had a child to the citizen of that country, pretty hard to leave.
@@mgrahamization yep - the ties that bind…
That’s why the guy has to play it very carefully and set things up in advance before massaging her ego to get her to go on an ‘extended holiday’.
Yes mate you're 100 percent correct.
I'm 29 living in South East Melbourne and had a daughter around 4 years ago and it was a stressful custody battle at court.
Especially with my past and going to Prison in my 20's... Luckily I had a fair judge that said she had faith in me after turning my life around and staying out of trouble ever since my daughter was born, Having a female judge I felt defeated at first thinking she was gonna favour my ex straight off the bat.
I did everything I could to get some custody, Even quit alcohol which is what landed me in prison twice, I attended Alcohol/Drug Counselling, Went to AA meetings, Worked out got super fit, Saved heaps more money and proved it to the judge, I believe having my mother alongside me helped sway the judge in a big way.
It was a long and tedious process, There were many days and nights where I felt like giving it up and ending it all
I'll admit me and the ex used to have very toxic verbal arguments especially when I was drinking, Which she tried to claim I would've been a physical danger to my daughter if I continued to drink, Even though I never assaulted my ex, What I used to say to her was probably more painful, I knew words would hurt her more
In the last year me and her mother have finally become civil which makes things a lot easier, Had a couple mediation sessions which really helped, She matured a lot once I got custody, And she's happy that I wanna see my daughter as much as possible .But I guess I'm one of the very lucky ones mate.
90% of my mates who have had a custody battle have lost, my best mate at 25 committed suicide because he was so depressed due to not being allowed to see his 2 kids, And the sick thing is the mother had actually celebrated his death and posted it all over Facebook and then removed it when people didn't agree with her views, Even her female friends were ridiculing her.. She's an evil fkn b!tch, She always used to bring him back for a few months suck him dry for his money and then get another AVO against him... She was ecstatic that she played the main role in destroying him
I still hold an immense amount of hatred towards her and I'll never forgive her for what she said and did.. I cried writing this because I miss my best mate so bloody much, I literally got no mates at all anymore but that's fine with me I guess.
She used to message my ex trying to convince her how much of a bad person I am and told her to not "Dare let him be a part of your kids life" My ex actually bashed her for posting the celebrations about my mates demise.
I saw my mates ex in town around 3 months ago she was calling out my name wanting to talk, I had to walk away as fast as I could before I did something I would've forever regretted, I had to go regain my composure. That's the first time I seen her since my mate passed.
On the rare occasion my mate will visit me in my dreams which is very bitter sweet.
I do have to agree that the court system for families drastically favour women, If I lost in court I honestly don't know how I was going to continue, It was a real dark and raw time in my life
All the best in the UK and that my bro, I hope everything works out for ya mate.
The UK? you have got to be joking....are you not aware of all the problems over there...Its much worse than Oz. Why do you think most of the British are breaking their necks to leave the place and go to Australia mainly. What culture do we have here?, especially all the Italian, Greeks, Eastern Euros, Asians, Indians and Local Natives...oh and us UK mobs. I think you have been away too long.
As much as it sucks to stay in a crap situation it's better to come through for your child and figure out the best way to stay and endure until the kid is on their own or can move with you. Times flies so use that as your crutch.
You should love your kid dearly and that will get you in the feels hard if you leave not to mention how bad it will be for them. Raising children is no joke and requires great sacrifice.
I live in Australia & I feel sorry for this guy.
Best option: Live most of the year in a country with better taxes and spend a month or two a couple times a year in Australia. Maybe pick the cooler time of year.
Can't leave you're kid dude. You choose to knock her up now you got to live with it. Just keep most of your assets outside of Australia's jurisdiction--could even move your company or get another tax residence and spend a little more than half the year outside of the country.
👏 to Rich for sharing about your commitment to your daughter. This man 1) so willing to break up with the mother over this, which signals more to the story 2) the child is 5. Relocate after they graduate HS. The parenting over a distance thing when the other parent lives in another COUNTRY is terrible if it can be avoided, it should. Children need their dads. This boils down to a young adult man making a decision to impregnant a woman before he was ready. She wants stability and nothing indicating she is a bad mom. Also, he never made her a wife. Both played stupid games, got stupid prizes. The best thing out of it is their child.
He needs to stay for the sake of his son. No more kids, however. He should in principle agree to participate, but passively resist. E.g. Vasectomy and prove a low sperm count to her later. "look honey, I tried, etc". Then she's not let down, and she's not able to trap him either. About the taxation in Australia? It's bloody high for wage earners.
I live in a Latin American country and have a friend from Australia who has dual citizenship with another Latin Ameican country. Right after C19, he came here and when he went through customs, he left his Australian passport on their counter, like "Nope, don't need that anymore, you can have it. There's no way in hell that I'm going back."
Western world haa nothing else but money
That is a main dilemma with Australia, Australia is a hybrid country with a mix of capitalism and communism mashed together.
You can still run a business here but once your business takes off it makes less sense, however on the flip side it is a great place to raise a family.
One more thing, Australia is far away from everyone and everything so cost of living is already higher. Oh and it barely makes a difference which state you live in when it comes to taxes.
Australia is massively changing, even ultra conservative religious are being Feminist even like Muslims, Roman Catholic , Orthodox etc especially in Big Cities like Sydney, Melbourne, Canberra.
I will probably never step and Australia. Eastern Europe is literally paradise, especially if you know places and you have friends. No woke virus , not tax slavery. Etc..
But, for how long? Remember, after WW II, Eastern Europe CHOSE to be not just Communist, but Stalinist, as well. Yikes!
Reading all your comments, makes me happy about me 😊I have 2 cats 🐈 ❤….. sorry that the rest of you are struggling, depressed, and or frustrated with women….
Impertinent narcissistic viewpoint. I pity your cats.
What a disaster brother! I was 15 yrs in a relationship with a New Zealand lady, I am Cubano-Italiano so our values were displaced. She went radical woke Arden brainwashed. I broke up 2 yrs ago was destroyed found Rich, Rolo and gym, cars and self respect. I am done with relationships !!!
Huh, this bald guy who advices others on how to live is divorced despite having children. It's funny how the loudest people are often the biggest failures.
I would take this step by step. First Decide in the ideal world what you need to do for yourself and your child. Your needs to live your life are critical - it’s like an oxygen mask, I would assume your child comes before what your girlfriend wants. Then figure out how to get to where you want to be and carefully plan it, step by step. Went through something like this, kids were taken to a third world country. Got divorced with custody, kids were brought back to the US while I built my life to go forward. This is all comes down to what scenario you are willing to live with and not live with figure that out, and build your plan.
Suck it up and stay with the kid..................
another femminist marxist
Sad, but you must remain here for your son, with him knowing that you are out there. My case is similar, thou I'm not allowed to see my 2 daughters until they are 18, yet I have not done anything wrong nor been charged with any offence, just false allegations made against myself. Australia 2024, its ALL political to give idiotic lesbian nazi legals jobs, keeping their labor party mates relevant.
I also migrated to Australia (originally from El Salvador) and sadly I can't fit in this culture, this country is extremely liberal, they praise LGBTQ and Feminism here, and I've heard the comment on how happy they are that men are more tamed these days. Strongly considering my future in this country.
Unfortunately it’s not a good idea to leave your boy behind.
Perhaps Western Australia would be a compromise
I’m Australian divorce ruined my life
the mother got restraining orders moved away with the kids slapped 100% child support on me I started living in Asia now she’s blaming me for not seeing the kids enough
🤷🏿♀️ lady you set this all up sorry but I’m not changing a thing I went from total deviation 3 houses to homeless
I left Australia 8 years ago. Particularly, workplace culture is the worst. Housing costs are also a big problem. Life is much easier in the US.
Don't be a jerk or take it for granted. Like many aussie immigrants I know.
As an Australian who has lived in the USA for 16 years, I will say that absolutely no country will be 100% ideal.
I'd like to go to a country that has more of a frontier type flavour if that makes sense. A place that's a little bit edgy but not downright dangerous.
We all have our predilections.
What are the benefits over there? What about their crazy tipping system, now bad service, property taxes, hidden state taxes, racial issues, hatred, guns, filth, drug scene, etc etc. How is it better? Other than all the drag strips and cheap V8 parts/cars/gasoline....their country side is much nicer though.
I’d stick it out for your kid…that’s a must! You have very solid income, so it gives you options. Have you thought about trying to set up a corporation in the US or another country so you can avoid the taxes? A good CPA might be able to help your situation from that standpoint at least
Walk away and start a family. Put yourself peace n happiness first. Save some for the left behind kid for his future.
Get out of that socialist high tax high cost of living hell hole...and don't go back to Spain either. LOL
I know I miss out but glad I never had a child. I don't really miss out if I'm honest.😅
“Numerous Arguments” … I’m out
It sounds like he cares more about taxes than his kid.
You CANNOT leave your child. I honestly don't even understand how a dad could consider it.
Right??? I have zero respect for men (if we even want to call them a man) who can abandon their child. NOTHING comes before my daughter.
Exactly.
Leave ASAP
Some men are Like that unfortunatly
Yeah unfortunately I couldn't leave my three kids. I can see it already as I'm currently going through a divorce after 16 years. Me ex is having trouble with the kids in ways I never imagined, they need me a lot right now whether they know it or not, and I can't imagine leaving them altogether.
He could take his kid with him and leave him girlfriend behind
She doesn't give a rat's behind about you. She's in mommy mode and that's all that matters right now. I see a divorce in the future. Have a backup plan ready to go.
I don't think she doesn't care about him.
Maybe she just doesn't want to move to Eastern Europe away from all her family and friends? Maybe this 5 year old should have access to their grandparents/aunts/uncles? Maybe she doesn't want to live in a country where she doesn't speak the language, slavic languages are very difficult and their English usually isn't great. Maybe this guy should have thought about that before having a child in Australia? All of these are reasonable objections.
It actually seems more like he doesn't care about his child..