5 Comments that Easily Trigger a Narcissist's Rage

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  • Опубликовано: 18 окт 2024

Комментарии • 1,1 тыс.

  • @narcabusecoach
    @narcabusecoach  Год назад +74

    Here is the link to all my best resources:
    beacons.ai/narcabusecoach/

  • @sherrylivering4149
    @sherrylivering4149 Год назад +926

    "You can not have any conversation with a narcissist" That is 100% spot on!!! You can be talking about buying toilet paper and it will turn into a sh&t show!

    • @jpsmcmahon9320
      @jpsmcmahon9320 Год назад +17

      YES!!!

    • @nmHispana
      @nmHispana Год назад +18

      And bagging food at the grocery store.

    • @pinapple60
      @pinapple60 Год назад +17

      Oh my goodness that is completely true no way now I know I’m not going completely mad!! Lol!

    • @pinapple60
      @pinapple60 Год назад +7

      @@nmHispanaYES no way!!

    • @brookescott9598
      @brookescott9598 Год назад +13

      That actually happened to me about toilet paper! I bought some when we had some left! Boy, oh Boy! I am out now.

  • @Jay-rw3hn
    @Jay-rw3hn Год назад +719

    “Banging your head against the wall produces a better result than talking to a narcissist.” 🤣😂🤣😂 So true… painfully true.

    • @nmHispana
      @nmHispana Год назад +30

      You start off attempting resolve one main topic and in a matter of a few minutes they'll be off onto all sorts of different topics that leave your head spinning all over the world.

    • @annstar2793
      @annstar2793 Год назад +7

      So true !!!!!

    • @pinapple60
      @pinapple60 Год назад +3

      😂

    • @theGalaxyfox75
      @theGalaxyfox75 Год назад +4

      Indeed...exactly what I said to myself after awhile

    • @laurencochran2201
      @laurencochran2201 Год назад +6

      Literally had an intense argument and I ended up saying and doing it then I was the crazy one

  • @cici2562
    @cici2562 Год назад +228

    For #4, the opposite is also true. Narcissistic parents blame their child for everything that goes wrong in their world. Which makes the child start to doubt his or her decisions until she no longer has the courage to make decisions at all. It’s soul destroying.

    • @finehowareyou
      @finehowareyou Год назад +16

      yes. the 2008 economic crash was my fault as well. i mean - how could i be so stupid.

    • @juliettewood2969
      @juliettewood2969 Год назад +16

      That sounds exactly like my childhood. Still working on that.

    • @BossMama381
      @BossMama381 Год назад +6

      So true. I watched this happen and still happening today .

    • @debbieschultz9768
      @debbieschultz9768 Год назад +11

      I can attest to this. Everything was always my fault where my mom was concerned. Not a fun childhood!!!!

    • @nezkeys79
      @nezkeys79 Год назад +1

      The opposite is also true for most of them tbh

  • @RapturereadyforJesus
    @RapturereadyforJesus Год назад +149

    The worst reaction I got from the narc is when I was telling him how intelligent my dad was. The narc thinks he is the smartest person in the whole world. Yet, he can’t pay his bills or wants to work.

    • @foreverlv311
      @foreverlv311 Год назад +9

      Same here, no job, no money, no car, no prospects or real plans..zero yet talks as if he's the fountain of knowledge and wealth 😂🤦‍♀️ I have all of the above. He has a daughter and everyone can see she's not his! It's cringeworthy and he's so jealous of my kids. He owes me money and now it's time to pay up he's ghosted me but I suppose it's better I walk now rather than later. Was even trying to convince me to get rid of my dog so he could move in with his nasty, hissing cat! fml I'd rather have my sweet doggo anyday over him and his nasty moggy😂 keep the money and adios 🤡

    • @christianbenn316
      @christianbenn316 Год назад +3

      & your dad would put him in his place.

    • @ronjones8981
      @ronjones8981 Год назад +7

      Run, don’t walk! Staying with the narc will make your life miserable.

    • @blessedlonewolf5518
      @blessedlonewolf5518 11 месяцев назад +2

      I wish there were a LOVE button for your comment!!! Awesome insight!🥰

  • @guyseeten2755
    @guyseeten2755 Год назад +726

    It goes even further. Whenever she asked me to do something for her, buy something, etc., the unconscious raising of my eyebrow was enough to trigger her narcissistic rage. She immediately interpreted it as a NO. There really is something human missing from the narcissist's DNA.

    • @mukttamahajan524
      @mukttamahajan524 Год назад +25

      Agreed

    • @johnnycassell4338
      @johnnycassell4338 Год назад +25

      100%

    • @laminage
      @laminage Год назад +40

      You 👀 got that right ✅️. No 👎 is not part of their vernacular. They grew up in an environment 😢 where they get everything that they want no matter what. They are also very spoiled and entitled 🙄 whose parents never set boundaries with them and as grown ups they have no lifeskill lessons and they still feel that friends should take care of them. The friends are like second parents who spoil them

    • @pamelaheriges3654
      @pamelaheriges3654 Год назад +29

      My deceased ex was a true casebook narcissist. He was abusive, and had little ways of of inciting me to anger so that he could fight, make me feel wrong for my anger, and remorseful for my over reaction to his sly goading. He was in control of the finances. ALL the household monies were his. When ever I asked him to make a purchase, he raised his eye brows, silently in an unspoken questioning look. The look was how much do you really need this item? Sounds to me like you are the narcissist, with all of your trigger mechanisms set to go. Seems to me you knew how to trip her trigger, so that she looked crazy and volatile.

    • @guyseeten2755
      @guyseeten2755 Год назад +24

      @@pamelaheriges3654 [Sounds to me like you are the narcissist, with all of your trigger mechanisms set to go. Seems to me you knew how to trip her trigger, so that she looked crazy and volatile.] Yes Pamela, that's what we need, narcissism victims accusing each other of being a narcissist. And the true narc walks away while roflol. Your wrong assumption about me is based only on your experience, without knowing my situation. (To avoid her anger, I stopped saying NO when she made another wish / demand / command. It was all about serving her, and keeping my mouth shut.) So may I rate your comment 'below zero'? Thank you.

  • @biljanarajs5461
    @biljanarajs5461 Год назад +104

    "It's better to bang your head against a wall then to talk to a narcissist." 🤣 ... so true!!!

    • @JebidiahKrackedyetagain-xv9hc
      @JebidiahKrackedyetagain-xv9hc Год назад

      Uh....Excuse me....I don't see any marks or bumps on your head, no blood either...You mind banging your head a little harder? Here....A nail instead for you to bang your head against it, so I can hang this picture of ME up! Thanks.🤣🤣
      ---From a "troll" and a narcissist🤣

    • @Muchjoy..
      @Muchjoy.. Год назад +1

      Don't that, been there , got the t shirt..
      And I am still questioning myself...😢

    • @Mypage28
      @Mypage28 Год назад +1

      So true

  • @earthsign6305
    @earthsign6305 Год назад +10

    "You cannot, have a conversation with a narcissist"😂😂😂😂😂 You are completely, right. You will never, get anywhere.

  • @johnschuster1770
    @johnschuster1770 Год назад +46

    You are so right. Working or living with one is dealing with a "Psychic Vampire". They mentally drain you. It's exhausting.

    • @seameology
      @seameology Год назад +1

      I call my daughter an emotional black hole. But this works, too!

  • @frchka7164
    @frchka7164 Год назад +121

    The most horrifying thing is when nothing you say can trigger a narcissist because they feel content that they’ve thoroughly destroyed you.

    • @zazu3006
      @zazu3006 Год назад +10

      from experience with my father, it’s in the body language. he was always watching like a predator his prey. when i worked and worked and focused elsewhere on being calm n on getting out n getting stronger, not concerned with him and even laughed attacked him for being ridiculous, he reacted with rage, he lost his cool- but left me alone since.. well next few weeks i had to be a round this monster. ..but before, when i had to consciously get all my powers to not be scared- tension was still there and he smirked with glee, add being stressed and he attacked- easy unsuspecting subject, with precision and two words only delivered a bullet,

    • @reesedaniel5835
      @reesedaniel5835 Год назад

      @@zazu3006 The fiery darts of the enemy (per the Bible).

    • @patrickjanecke5894
      @patrickjanecke5894 Год назад +1

      ​​@zazu3006 That happens. Still, ignoring him is your best bet. Give him nothing, and you win the long game. He needs your fear in order to exist, and rejection, even (or especially) through your fear will eat at him like acid.

    • @montanabirdmommy
      @montanabirdmommy 6 месяцев назад

      Or perhaps it wasn’t a narcissist. Sociopaths can also be very high in narcissism, and you cannot trigger them.

  • @ronmortimer252
    @ronmortimer252 Год назад +40

    One phenomenon I've noticed is: as discussions invariably turn into arguments she gets energized and I get exhausted/depleted. You would have more chance stopping Niagara Falls than stopping the words coming out of her mouth when she goes full tilt mode. Life's interesting isn't it!

  • @carparthero
    @carparthero Год назад +164

    5 comments that easily trigger a narcissist's rage
    1- no
    2- i know many people who don't behave like you
    3- i feel like i have to walk on eggshells when i'm around you
    4- you always like to blame other people except yourself
    5- do you think i am that stupid?

    • @nathalieduverna6963
      @nathalieduverna6963 Год назад +2

      Thanks

    • @BobbiGail
      @BobbiGail Год назад +12

      BUT, 1, 2, 3 and 5 have been told to me BY the Narcisist. I probably have traits too that make my family feel they have to walk on eggshells. It's tough bc they dont want to discuss anything. They just want a lovely life status quo with no struggles to work through... as long as they get what they want.

    • @ilexevergreen5405
      @ilexevergreen5405 Год назад +5

      This should be pinned!
      Annoying when they don't put it in the description.
      Giving the written content doesn't mean that people don't watch the video!

    • @carparthero
      @carparthero Год назад +5

      @@ilexevergreen5405 thanks for your kind words.
      glad to be a bit of help.
      keep fighting the good fight.
      -cheers, steven.

    • @ilexevergreen5405
      @ilexevergreen5405 Год назад +1

      @@carparthero ❤️

  • @TheJinxe15
    @TheJinxe15 Год назад +135

    I totally agree with all your points. I have a narcissist very close to me.
    He is exactly like this and since I know better now about narcissists - I put up a fight and say No - he hate my guts and belittles me all
    The time but I don’t give a flying ****!! 😂

    • @AchillesRage501
      @AchillesRage501 Год назад +6

      Ironic They think they have power but there not the senate

    • @TheJinxe15
      @TheJinxe15 Год назад +14

      @@AchillesRage501 true and as we all know it’s all in their head. In reality they are powerless, needy , insecure and basically without consciousness. I think I can write a book about them 😅

    • @peachesandpoets
      @peachesandpoets Год назад +6

      My story

    • @samiyaaftab1
      @samiyaaftab1 Год назад +3

      Same story here with as well

    • @benitalong8785
      @benitalong8785 Год назад +1

      Exact!

  • @southerncatlady
    @southerncatlady Год назад +95

    GAH!!! That whole, "That's not my fault," and "I didn't ask you to do that" absolutely DID make me crazy. Over time, I began engaging in reactive abuse. I am so ashamed of myself, because I have NEVER behaved that way. Now, I see how it happens. I just wish I could get someone to see what REALLY happened!

    • @foreverlv311
      @foreverlv311 Год назад +14

      Ahh yes but if you don't ask them to said event or happening cos you've had enough, they whine like a baby🙄🤷‍♀️the irony, pathetic. The narc owes me money, guess what..silence, ghosted. Well he can keep it, I'd rather have my freedom and peace of mind😊😉👍

    • @southerncatlady
      @southerncatlady Год назад +14

      @@foreverlv311 omg, YES!! They are overgrown children, only with the MOST malicious intentions.
      I'm so sorry you ended up losing money. But I think you're right. Your freedom and peace of mind is worth more! 🤗

    • @catherinedonnelly1025
      @catherinedonnelly1025 Год назад

      @@foreverlv311-mine just absconded with a lot of our money and of course he denies it
      But when I bring it up, he gets furious, so I know he did take it all
      HE CAN HAVE IT
      I HAVE PEACE NOW

    • @lovejumanji5
      @lovejumanji5 Год назад

      @@foreverlv311. Hey , I lent someone a hundred dollars , haven’t seen them since. This was the cheapest way I’ve bought myself out of a headache.
      Seriously…..it’s awesome!

    • @lovejumanji5
      @lovejumanji5 Год назад +2

      Don’t be ashamed, the real blessing is when you know .
      Really know . No doubts . That’s your freedom that can’t be bought!
      People think what they want !
      The real soul journey is by YOU ❤

  • @patterson1rox
    @patterson1rox Год назад +30

    AMAZING!!! I'm about to get divorced, and I now realize why. In this video, you called out 5 for 5 characteristics of my wife. She always put it back onto me, saying I'm the issue. I'm a trucker. When most of the problems happened, I wasn't even there! But, it was still my fault... I'm not a wizard. If I was, I wouldn't be driving a semi! THANK YOU for this video!!! My soul thanks you! I can truly start to heal myself.😇

  • @rogermason8287
    @rogermason8287 Год назад +206

    When I listen to you I think you know my wife personally. That is exactly her reaction to those 5 things. Whenever I'm done trying to have the simplest discussion with my wife I feel like half my life has left my body. Thanks for all the help may God bless and keep you.

  • @prant8998
    @prant8998 Год назад +193

    I was a world class expert at walking on eggshells. I could walk on hardwood floor strewn with marbles carrying a bottle of nitroglycerin on my head. It doesn’t matter. My honey-bunny would pull some slight out of her butt, as if I had slapped her in the face. In fact, I could have told her, “You’re the most beautiful woman on earth.” This could get turned around as a “slight" worthy of a hysterical psychotic meltdown so off the charts that I would have to leave for fear of some neighbor calling the cops thinking someone was in mortal danger, (and they would be me.) Bottom line, the whole, "walking on eggshells," only helps the narcissists victim, giving them a sense of control that only lasts until the narcissist get’s angry at you again for no reason. It’s a cycle of abuse, and there is nothing a partner can do to prevent it.

    • @nmHispana
      @nmHispana Год назад +15

      Well, my daddy always use to say that the devil didn't like noise.

    • @Sorchia56
      @Sorchia56 Год назад +3

      Hi dad! 😂😂😂

    • @trollhunter6934
      @trollhunter6934 Год назад +6

      Divorce will prevent it

    • @phoenixmode6909
      @phoenixmode6909 Год назад +6

      Yup, leaving and divorcing will absolutely reduce, and after the divorce, prevent that. If anything, those two actions will definitely make it easier to ignore.
      I have so much more peace in my life now.

    • @sharondoan1447
      @sharondoan1447 Год назад +12

      The partner must leave the relationship in order to find relief. Reading on the subject of narcissism it appears that the ones of us who are not narcissists are sentenced to a lifetime of abuse from those who are. We are told not to challenge them, to “ gray rock” them, to walk away without interacting, blah, blah, blah. I believe it is possible to refuse to be a verbal punching bag. Moving far, far away from the abuser is at least a chance.

  • @m.pellicier
    @m.pellicier Год назад +113

    The few times I said no to my husband, now ex-husband, I got physically assaulted; torn clothes then physically thrown out the door, and down the stairs, picked up and thrown across the room, screamed at and threatened; plates of food and or drinking glasses thrown towards me.

    • @JJ-pf3ok
      @JJ-pf3ok Год назад +43

      Glad you took the trash out😎

    • @forensicbadassprofiling
      @forensicbadassprofiling Год назад +1

      Exactly girl. This is why we have to be very careful about taking advice from these so-called narcissistic abuse experts. They have no idea what level of psychopathy we personally are dealing with. I'm lucky to be alive, surviving three near-death experiences because I said no to a psychopath I was married to.
      The channels that refused to go further in-depth about narcissism and psychopathy, are channels you should immediately stop supporting. They do more damage than good. Because you can see by the comment below yours, she didn't even catch that because you said no, you were thrown down the stairs. Instead with her cognitive dissonance, she clearly saw that thank God you got out. She didn't see the dangers of saying no. That's proving my point how vulnerable the brain is of a victim Survivor who cannot think logically enough to see through the damages of channels giving general advice. I unsubscribe from this gentleman today because I've watched enough of his videos to know how General his information is. That he's missing huge components, and leading survivors down a very very very dangerous path. Some people are truly in it for the right reasons to educate, and some just want subscribers.

    • @lorrainefrasier4096
      @lorrainefrasier4096 Год назад +36

      Wow, they are just over the top. Bunch of babies. Can't accept no. I hope you aren't in any contact with him. Keep healing.

    • @m.pellicier
      @m.pellicier Год назад +19

      @@lorrainefrasier4096 Thank you so much. I am healing more and more

    • @sandrapatriciaoriguarios4589
      @sandrapatriciaoriguarios4589 Год назад +25

      Sorry to hear you've gone through that.
      It's unbelievable how they overreact when they are told 'NO'.

  • @erickonassis6310
    @erickonassis6310 Год назад +47

    Calling them a professional victim works well too...I remember having an argument about what each one would do if we won the powerball, it turned into a full blown argument. I said I would use three different banks to put the money in, she called me dumb, she would just use one. I said its a preference, nobody's wrong..glad shes gone

    • @cindytrayer4279
      @cindytrayer4279 Год назад +2

      That is exactly the type of conversations that would set off arguments with my ex. The most innocent comments would turn into ridiculous arguments bc , of course, their way is THE only right way. Black and white thinking in full force. That is when you want to bang your head into a wall! Or theirs!

    • @reapsgrimley
      @reapsgrimley Год назад

      amen

  • @timward3116
    @timward3116 Год назад +8

    Just a reminder: Some narcissists are also sociopaths and psychopaths. Before you trigger their rage, as yourself whether you're prepared to have your tires stabbed, your windows broken, or your coffee poisoned.

  • @betsysorrell1357
    @betsysorrell1357 Год назад +11

    It's true. They have to be told that they are right. They imagine that they are perfect.

  • @JessicaJLandi
    @JessicaJLandi Год назад +44

    It's wonderful when a growing number of people in a community become aware and awake to the narcissists among them. And, terrified of exposure and lack of supply, of course the narcissists eventually move.

    • @sarahwagland1559
      @sarahwagland1559 Год назад +1

      My narc neighbour is so obsessed with controlling me that she is refusing to cooperate with a problem with the deeds leaving us unable to sell our house and move. It's ironic that, in the process, she is risking exposure. She can't see that her incredible lust for control is going to be her undoing. If we don't get resolution soon next stop is the small claims court. She, no doubt, will laugh it off firmly believing that, as the superior being she has nothing to fear but, she should be afraid, very afraid. I would much rather move and put this whole sorry episode behind me but I can't see her ever cooperating because she would see it as losing.

    • @JebidiahKrackedyetagain-xv9hc
      @JebidiahKrackedyetagain-xv9hc Год назад

      Nope, I'm still here.🤣🤣🙄

  • @suhinahiralal8056
    @suhinahiralal8056 Год назад +79

    I never had the courage to confront him with any of this. I was so terrified of his rage, vindictive behaviour and the feelings I experienced during the silent treatment- I avoided all kinds of confrontation. I always tried to keep the peace, I was aware I was walking on eggshells and could never express myself freely- but I never had the guts to tell him that

    • @Find-Your-Bliss-
      @Find-Your-Bliss- Год назад +11

      I hope you have the ability to leave him.
      You deserve better.

    • @HipHop-vg7cd
      @HipHop-vg7cd Год назад +11

      Yep they condition you so that you don't dare question them, esp when it involves their feelings, behavior or God forbid their precious time to spend with you! They will Never admit any wrong doing, they try to make you out as being negative or in the wrong, regardless of what subject you bring up. It's exhausting!!!

    • @lizh1988
      @lizh1988 Год назад +8

      They are just not normal and will never give you a satisfying answer or reaction. It's all about them in a way we probably can't understand.

    • @braytonhougland8505
      @braytonhougland8505 Год назад +2

      Just tell him. If you don't do anything and say nothing of course nothing will change. Gotta learn to take responsibility for your own decisions and even the actions you don't take.

    • @sharondoan1447
      @sharondoan1447 Год назад +3

      Wasted effort on your part. My heart bleeds for whatever belief or custom has forced you to accept this man’s treatment. You always deserved better.

  • @cj3055
    @cj3055 Год назад +79

    You are always on point! I knew something was off with my ex, but now that you point out of the key points I can totally see how he would always twist everything on me! Omg! Wish I had found you years ago! I am so thankful for people like you that spread awareness to help us heal from traumas in our life!

  • @LMarie_
    @LMarie_ Год назад +17

    The thing that made my narcissistic ex the angriest was when he cheated and I calmly left him, it’s almost like he WANTED me to be angry and emotional. He became unrecognizable and had this look in his eyes that I can only explain as being monster or reptilian-like.

  • @jacob98264
    @jacob98264 Год назад +25

    This is so true, no matter what I would say or how I would say it she would go off. If I told her no then all of a sudden she would want to go home. I feel so pathetic and embarrassed

    • @annbond5040
      @annbond5040 11 месяцев назад

      Please don’t feel pathetic or embarrassed. You are kind and caring and were taken in. Lesson learned. 💕

  • @jadegreen1554
    @jadegreen1554 Год назад +47

    What an adorable kitty 😌

  • @m.pellicier
    @m.pellicier Год назад +95

    In my experience of narcissistic abuse from ex-husband, he has NEVER showed any shame in anything he said and done. His arrogance actually grew and grew. Are narcissists really capable of shame?

    • @mukttamahajan524
      @mukttamahajan524 Год назад +23

      No

    • @jasonhaynes2952
      @jasonhaynes2952 Год назад +36

      No. They feel no shame, because shame would require them to feel less than perfect or to have done something wrong. We know that narcissists are never wrong! We also know that anything they do that might be considered wrong (should they be faced with indisputable evidence) that it was justified, and in fact, someone elses fault!

    • @thehotcoffeehouse6081
      @thehotcoffeehouse6081 Год назад +15

      @Jason Haynes one actually told me, " shame is not a big 20th century concept", this was in the 1990s.

    • @forgiven5919
      @forgiven5919 Год назад +31

      No remorse ever because they are a demon.

    • @prant8998
      @prant8998 Год назад +37

      No empathy, no apology. They never want to give you ANY validation.

  • @goldenautumn3073
    @goldenautumn3073 9 месяцев назад +1

    You are SO right about the sense of entitlement, which I found absolutely infuriating. I actually had to demand of this 'friend' (covert narc) that she stop pestering, phoning, emailing, contacting, visiting me unannounced (received some 30 emails over a few days at one time, all telling ME she had the 'right' to contact me, even though she knew I was at the stage of getting a restraining order on her!). It's like once they get their claws into you, they will do ANYTHING to stop those claws (or bloodsucking fangs!) from being retracted. Thank GOD my doctor told me to RUN and DON'T LOOK BACK! I did, as soon as I was able - yet she still pursued me!!! And I know, even though this was now about 3 years ago that if I came in contact with her again, it would immediately start all over again!! A total CURSE on the earth, all of them. I believe only God can heal and change them into sane human beings.

  • @lindamoore9729
    @lindamoore9729 Год назад +8

    I don't know how many times my narc has said to me... well if you would say it this way, if you would have approached me that way, If YOU, if you, if you. Never him that just wouldn't listen no matter what way it's said. Another great video. Thank you.

  • @samiyaaftab1
    @samiyaaftab1 Год назад +34

    You are a heaven sent to me everything you say in bang on and no one understands narcissism like you do

    • @smitha1867
      @smitha1867 Год назад +4

      Many do understand. But good if he's helping you.

    • @solid9999fine
      @solid9999fine Год назад

      Absolutely 💯 ty

  • @josekanucee1428
    @josekanucee1428 Год назад +3

    As a 6’6” man, I literally look down on narcissists and they can’t do any about it. Makes em uncomfortable and it’s glorious for me and my small ego.

  • @SsAa-pb3nx
    @SsAa-pb3nx Год назад +15

    I like the banging your head comment. So true!

  • @imagineit8909
    @imagineit8909 Год назад +9

    After an over twenty year so called marriage it took about thirty years to heal from his behaviour.
    The red flags 🚩 were there before we even married and proved correct with him and his family.
    Thank you for an EXCELLENT CALL OUT!
    God bless you and yours.
    🙏💝🙏💝🙏

  • @skylarrussell7242
    @skylarrussell7242 Год назад +8

    The “walking on eggshells “ and “why do you never blame yourself?” question are both big ones I was in a an emotionally and physically abusive relationship with a a textbook narcissist for almost 10 years. Still living with the after effects from that trauma love the video

  • @The_Joker_
    @The_Joker_ Год назад +31

    My brother is a narcissist, he scammed me out of €74,000 I’m a paraplegic and amputee, when I finally said no to him he freaked out and tried to blame me for everything. I’m now taking him and his wife to court for fraud and I will make it as public as possible. I’m an empath I Will enjoy destroying this delusional creature.

    • @HansHeinShorts
      @HansHeinShorts Год назад +4

      @the_Joker_ " I Will enjoy destroying this delusional creature." You sound like a good person

  • @kristibrown5899
    @kristibrown5899 Год назад +8

    Great information, thank you!
    I've gone no contact with 2 narcissists in my life. My emotional and mental health are all the better for it.
    It felt like the girl in the movie Labyrinth when she realizes and says, "You have no power over me." 😅❤

  • @joanieatherton5034
    @joanieatherton5034 Год назад +47

    Thank you Danish for this episode. You touched on the absolute for me in this episode.
    I have resigned at this point to withdraw from any communication of any substance with him. It is always a futile effort and there is never a compromise or a sharing of thoughts. There is always blame . I call it the blame game. I also call the behaviours of the narcissist the how great though art game. Still trying to find a therapist that understands this to help me. I look forward to the next time you post.

    • @susanparker9877
      @susanparker9877 Год назад +9

      How great though art.....yes!
      That's one of my favourite hymns, and I relate to your comparison.

  • @freespirit5234
    @freespirit5234 Год назад +6

    It intrigues me that children actually survive in these environments......I just hope that they can completely heal from these devils.

    • @PatGusoff
      @PatGusoff 2 дня назад +1

      Yes. I am amazed that I did. I knew my family was not normal at age 10. Mother telling my brothers"Love them and leave them! No one can take care of you as well as me!"
      Her boys were perfect aside was someone else's fault if they got into trouble. If I had something my brother wanted I had to give it to him even though my name was on it. We were never taught to care for each other as she pinned one against another. Women had to enter house through back door since they are 2nd class.Really screwed up the family!

  • @patriciajohnson6653
    @patriciajohnson6653 Год назад +16

    REVELATION; THEY DO ( BELIEVE ) THEY'RE *perfect* look at themselves in the mirror akl day if they could. OMG. Thank You, Counselor.

  • @QX-xq5uj
    @QX-xq5uj Год назад +4

    Absolutely! They do not take any credit for their bad behaviour. They try to show they are ALWAYS right🙈

  • @jpsmcmahon9320
    @jpsmcmahon9320 Год назад +16

    How is it possible that you were in my house, in my life, taking notes. Thank you, Danish, I learned from each of your podcasts about the insanity of my past life. I am so happy to be in recovery from it.

  • @mrfarax4944
    @mrfarax4944 Год назад +5

    Since I was a child I battled when I hear how people reacted versus how I reacted I feel like a brave lil dude I mean even as 10 year old I remember instinctively saying no talking back breaking rules cuz I knew mom was messed up I could see it but I couldn't name it so I decided the hell with her am gone fight you on everything it took a part of my soul cuz now I can escalate quickly without wanting to sometimes cuz it's ingrained behaviour but now looking back am proud of the lil me and by saying that I healed a trauma I had I teared up at the thought of lil me in this new light

  • @timefoolery
    @timefoolery Год назад +16

    I learned one thing that would enrage her. One day back when I first got out of college and was substitute teaching, I started having an earache with the accompanying dizziness which led me to throwing up. I got sent home and replaced with another sub. When I got home, my mother acted all pissed off about it and suddenly decided SHE was sick, too. Then she started ordering me around like I wasn’t getting dizzy every time I stood up. I got angry and grumbled, “I guess YOU’RE the only one who gets to be sick around here!” Oooh, her eyes turned black and her face turned red and she demanded I repeat what I said, and I was mad enough to do so. She didn’t hit me or anything, but as soon as I finished doing what she ordered me to do, I disappeared into my room and locked the door. She HATED me closing and locking my door and I have no reason why other than she wanted to keep me off the computer because I was meeting new people online. There was another time when I was maybe 12 when I popped off at her and she got out an electrical cord and just started whaling on me. Wish I could remember what I said cuz it must’ve been pretty sarcastic for her to child abuse me. Which, btw, I knew there was no point in telling anyone about it then. She would’ve just told everyone I was crazy and a liar. 🤦‍♀️😔

    • @gretavains8707
      @gretavains8707 Год назад +2

      My mother all over😢 crazy woman. Like Sinead O'Connor's mother😢

  • @louisesultana2431
    @louisesultana2431 Год назад +8

    It seems to me if you bust them directly for some odd behavior, that triggers them the very most. They fly into a rage immediately

  • @susanfromthemountains1754
    @susanfromthemountains1754 Год назад +8

    Does anyone else find that you can't ever work alongside happily, lovingly, peacefully, co-jointly with your spouse narcissist? That they won't let that happen?

  • @radiationraven
    @radiationraven Год назад +24

    I’m so glad I clicked this. You see, I have been looking in the mirror hard wondering why everything had always failed. This has helped me see that I have had a lot of narcissistic traits, and I have been working hard on myself. I put myself in therapy. I DO want to be a good person. And I am willing to change, and I know it’ll probably heave my world over but I don’t care about “my” world anymore. It’s time my “family” become my world. Thank you for this. These would’ve sent me over the edge, exactly how you described. Keep up the good work.

    • @JebidiahKrackedyetagain-xv9hc
      @JebidiahKrackedyetagain-xv9hc Год назад

      You should probably narcissisticly rejoice that you engaged in such refreshing CANDOR...In an "information age" that actually consists of so much bullshit and/or intellectual dishonesty, such is becoming very rare. (Or perhaps has ALWAYS BEEN rare??)

    • @smoly37
      @smoly37 Год назад +2

      Congratiolations! Seriously.
      I was always told, that a narcissist can't be treated through f.i. psychotherapy, because it would mean, that they recognized their own problem. And that is not how a narcissist's mind works.
      So again seriously: Well done and keep it up!

    • @sweetbeep
      @sweetbeep Год назад +3

      Maybe you are not a true narcissist if you can see reality?

    • @aquateal384
      @aquateal384 Год назад

      A narcissist doesn't have the self awareness or humility to see their own part in a problem. More likely, you have Borderline personality disorder, if anything.

    • @alabama.worley
      @alabama.worley 11 месяцев назад +2

      ​@@sweetbeepThey didn't claim to have NPD. They shared that they have narcissistic traits. Most everyone has narcissistic traits, which is perfectly healthy and socially acceptable. It's when multiple pathological traits and maladaptive behavioral patterns are present, coupled with a lack of empathy and remorse, that personality disorders and disordered personalities form.

  • @maggie6
    @maggie6 Год назад +12

    A look or not looking triggers them because no matter which move you make it’ll be the wrong one. No matter what you say, it’ll be the wrong thing. If you said and did everything the way they had it in there heads they wanted it said and done - they’d move the goal posts and you’d still be wrong. The only pleasure in life they have is making others wrong because by default that according to the narcissist makes them right.

  • @carladejonge4951
    @carladejonge4951 Год назад +3

    Man, I wish I had had this teaching in my early 30’s! I married a police officer, who was an alcoholic & a narcissist! He had me so messed up in my head! I recognize so much of what you are saying, in his behavior!

  • @jillhudgins3210
    @jillhudgins3210 Год назад +13

    Excellent video, Danish! These people are so difficult to be around.

  • @hairbag4096
    @hairbag4096 Год назад +1

    Those type of people don't understand the cruel things they say hurts worse than punches, and you can never take them back. Even though you let it go, it's never forgotten.

  • @taraarrington2285
    @taraarrington2285 Год назад +21

    I remember asking my mom if she really thinks I'm that's stupid because I was confronting her on the phone about her hiring a private investigator.😂 Of course she gas-lit me and tried to turn it around on me somehow telling me I'm paranoid. I was right the whole time.

  • @risikasalifu6885
    @risikasalifu6885 Год назад +16

    You are absolutely awesome amazing thank you. You know this narcs very very well.

  • @dianevitale1214
    @dianevitale1214 Год назад +19

    I'm on pins and needles expecting THE SKY TO FALL DOWN from covert narc estranged husband's retaliation. I've taken steps to try to make him accountable for his vile behaviors that greatly harm/damage. It will be a sneaky, calculated non violent attack(s) to level me. FEAR: He may wiggle out of it using his fake demeanor with artful persuasion, convincing others of authority he is the victim. YOU ARE SUPERB, DANISH. tyvm

    • @mtc-j9i
      @mtc-j9i Год назад +3

      I could have written this myself!

    • @dianevitale1214
      @dianevitale1214 Год назад +1

      @@mtc-j9i I have much empathy for you. God help us to help ourselves to never see these demons again

  • @fingerscrossed2453
    @fingerscrossed2453 Год назад +11

    I said no to the narcissist.
    They hit me.

    • @lizh1988
      @lizh1988 Год назад +1

      Do what you need to do to stay away.

    • @fingerscrossed2453
      @fingerscrossed2453 Год назад +2

      @@lizh1988 thanks I'm in a mess at the moment.
      I'm praying for a miracle.

  • @brettedgar6733
    @brettedgar6733 Год назад +7

    YOU DON'T HAVE TO TRIGGER
    A NARCISSIST, THEY ARE A LOOSE CANNON, OUT OF THE BOX.

  • @evequeen8282
    @evequeen8282 11 месяцев назад +1

    Please have your cat in the videos EVERY TIME! such a calming presence

  • @LoveSource1111
    @LoveSource1111 Год назад +12

    He tried hoovering me through the animal hospital after 3 months, and I blocked the number.

  • @OleIrishReb
    @OleIrishReb Год назад +2

    3 favorite words of a Narcissist, Me, Myself and I.

  • @christinerobertson9596
    @christinerobertson9596 Год назад +3

    Mother's caretaker- I left the house we share because I can't take the gaslighting, being hit, yelled at , etc... When I say I can't take your abuse anymore, she says, " You're not innocent." I moved into my RV until she dies. I'm ignoring her texts and won't be in our house alone without my husband present. No More. She is a tyrant. Hope she goes soon. Narcissists have no limits to what they say or do because there is no conscience there.

  • @rhuiah
    @rhuiah Год назад +1

    The only thing they'll ever take responsibility for is 'someone else's accomplishments.'

  • @gorriondeestepa
    @gorriondeestepa Год назад +9

    Nice great video! I have a parent this pure narcissist with all the words! Follow you from Spain 🇪🇸

    • @DebbieLee-dr3hr
      @DebbieLee-dr3hr Год назад +2

      I was totally blindsided when my elderly narc mom began using her wordsmith capabilities. It's as if she gets her strategies by tuning into the narcissistic information being given through social media- It's like spot on

  • @shaistaijaz2019
    @shaistaijaz2019 Год назад +1

    Waoooo 👏👏👏I’m amazed how well u explain the Narcissistic Behavior n traits ur doing a tremendous job educating ppl in general n spreading awareness to help those who’re effected n suffering from narcissistic abuse

  • @almondleslie1410
    @almondleslie1410 Год назад +10

    Could not stop laugh/crying at the head banging stuff.. It's so true 😂😢...

    • @HUYI1
      @HUYI1 Год назад

      i always say it's a still titanium wall that's impossible to penetrate

  • @Linda2
    @Linda2 Год назад +1

    You explained Narcissistic behaviour beautifully. The latest one in my life, (now gone from my life), said to me, " it's my way or the h'way") ,I replied, "the h'way never looked so good " she didn't expect that! Throw her of her high fence. It is a big problem, so many people are narcissistic . Or it's just I seem to attack them. I'm learning, hopefully, learnt 🙏. I throughly enjoyed your video,thankyou.

  • @franziskastadelmann6556
    @franziskastadelmann6556 Год назад +12

    Your videos are excellent. I also love your cat so much!

  • @Joshua-o6g9b
    @Joshua-o6g9b Год назад +1

    I was laughing so hard at your sense of humor and probably confirmed at least five narcissist that i know personally..

  • @rasheenturpin
    @rasheenturpin Год назад +30

    There are so many people in the world, why even play these mind games with narcissists or anyone else abusing you? Simply leave, divorce, breakup, take the kids with you. Get out of that unhealthy situation.
    People have got to learn to love themselves enough to let go of those harmful to their lives.

    • @zm7674
      @zm7674 Год назад +3

      Sometimes the narc is your dad providing you with food n shelter.

    • @rasheenturpin
      @rasheenturpin Год назад

      @obscurum6 Where did I mention Parental Restriction or Parental Alienation? Would you leave your children with an unfit parent, or take probationary custody until the court determines the terms of custody?

    • @montanabirdmommy
      @montanabirdmommy 6 месяцев назад

      I see a strawman argument from someone who can’t stand to be wrong. Hey, guess what? Minor children cannot automatically “simply leave” their narcissistic parents. We all leave as soon as we can. How dare you sit there and denigrate us who survived a narcissistic parent.

    • @montanabirdmommy
      @montanabirdmommy 6 месяцев назад

      Rasheen has got to learn to let go of incorrectly dictating other peoples lived experiences. GTFO With that gaslighting.

  • @alexsie3012
    @alexsie3012 Год назад +1

    The big lie and the rejection of facts are hallmarks of harmful narcissism. Saying no to it is the best response.

  • @hgibbs2588
    @hgibbs2588 Год назад +5

    30 yrs in LE.. Scary thing?. If you suspect a narcissist.. Just run.. The odds are great they're a psychopath too..

  • @Kimberly-iy3cl
    @Kimberly-iy3cl Год назад +11

    Best best episode ever
    I feel so secure
    Happy clear strong
    I told the person when we first met
    I said
    You I do not barely know myself
    And how could I marry you
    Don’t rush it
    How do you know?
    I don’t even know myself
    It was the love bombing

  • @myownchannel247
    @myownchannel247 Год назад +6

    Call them out! I say it so everyone nearby can hear it “ you’re a narcissist “ and watch what happens 👍

  • @avalerionbass
    @avalerionbass Год назад +8

    I've never met a personality archetype more consistently predictable than a narcissist. The irony is that they all think they are the most unique human beings that ever existed, yet EVERY single one is exactly the same as every other narcissist.

    • @tammystours5171
      @tammystours5171 Год назад +3

      So true.. demons

    • @anneofgreengables1619
      @anneofgreengables1619 Год назад +1

      Right on!

    • @sandrathomas2893
      @sandrathomas2893 5 месяцев назад

      Yeah...once you break the code you know exactly what they're going to say or do! Their vocabulary is very small.

    • @majaza45
      @majaza45 4 месяца назад +1

      When he realized I knew ahead of time what was happening and why , he got enraged. He hated that he was being predictable. They think they are so stealthy and we are so stupid.

  • @myrtenuman621
    @myrtenuman621 Год назад +2

    Very insightful. Thank you. What has worked best for me in dealing with narcissists, is to take responsibility for my own feelings. If they ‘played’ me, I’d say something like: ‘all of a sudden I feel very cranky, I think I need some time alone to ponder, and get it out of my system, because I don’t want to take it out on you.’ That way you don’t put blame, but the narcissist will think twice before playing the same trick again, because it denies them their fix.

  • @josefasevilla1654
    @josefasevilla1654 Год назад +4

    I should have known this years ago! Why just now where have you been all this time? Thanks I have learned so much about my narcissistic husband.

  • @aaronzero4033
    @aaronzero4033 Год назад +7

    Narcissistic wife and almost every nail on the head. She accused me of being the narcissist. She couldn't do any wrong and NOTHING was her fault.

  • @blessedlonewolf5518
    @blessedlonewolf5518 11 месяцев назад

    EVERYTHING you say in comment #5 resonated so deeply in me. I no longer engage in any contact with the narcissist, but I shared your video with all of my siblings who still visit and listen to his garbage. Thank you so much!!!

  • @HossLUK
    @HossLUK Год назад +4

    I wonder how many other people watched this video and it made them realize their ex is a huge narcissist

  • @Hellonan635
    @Hellonan635 Год назад +2

    Such a great feeling to find validation through your videos. It seems as if you know my husband personally. Even though divorce is not an option at this point, I have chucked him out of my life completely and I’m living my best life with my kid! He doesn’t exist for me and it is so satisfying to see him completely powerless in front of me. My only regret is I didn’t realise who he was earlier and wasted 10 years on trying to “make our marriage work”! He controlled me emotionally because I was so deeply in love with him. Now he can burn in hell and I wouldn’t even raise my eyebrows 😅

  • @SlabHardcheese
    @SlabHardcheese Год назад +7

    This is so common a problem they should teach several of the standard mental health issues likely to face us in life through-out school. I thought humans were aliens when I was growing up because I could not figure out people's motivations for the life of me. Until I finally realized many people had sick childish motivations (bullying) or other mental issues. Would have prevented me from learning the hard way in a couple early relationships.

  • @godsstruggler8783
    @godsstruggler8783 Год назад +1

    Best tactic - ignore and walk away. As their behaviour worsens, keep walking. The worse they get the further away you are until you cannot hear anything they are now screaming.
    She found somebody else and went out of her way for me to meet him. It was wonderful to feel absolutely nothing.

  • @germainetriplett7124
    @germainetriplett7124 Год назад +4

    I have been doing a deep dive into this topic. Your content as well as others, have helped me take my power back. Thank you

  • @sylviaanne2320
    @sylviaanne2320 Год назад +2

    This is on point with everything on the list. Great job describing the reactions to these comments so well.

  • @spiritlevel7353
    @spiritlevel7353 Год назад +11

    Brilliant, beautiful cat 😻

  • @MountainsBU
    @MountainsBU 9 месяцев назад

    You are SO exact in what you are saying!!! I am exeriencing all of this with him! You have complete understanding on these situations - one video after the other! Please keep them coming - helps me understand I'm not alone! Thank you.

  • @ls-kk4pq
    @ls-kk4pq Год назад +3

    I can love these videos they are so clear and concise, and they basically nail it to the wall! Thanks!

  • @jenifaburnley1385
    @jenifaburnley1385 Год назад +1

    Thank you. I'm starting to understand, learn and heal from your teachings. God bless.

  • @dsmusicbird
    @dsmusicbird Год назад +7

    It never makes sense. How they fear rejection and get all enraged by it or do a sneak attack, yet they reject you!!!! Your wants!!! Your neeeeeds!!!! And your goodness!!!! Sex, intimacy, on and on, Just all of you!!! Over and over and it hurts like hell and messes with your head and emotions, but the moment they perceive you to reject them or slight them or unmet their needs, all hell breaks lose!!! But don’t you dare get mad at them for naturally doing that Shiz to you!

  • @homeschooljunkie
    @homeschooljunkie 6 месяцев назад

    Collective supply. That is big! Thank you for enlightening me. I have been so lost for so long. You have taught me to at least garner my self back. I am still in the weeds. Being better!

  • @michelleelfazzate178
    @michelleelfazzate178 Год назад +4

    You are the best teacher on RUclips thank you for your help and guidance and making me feel i wasn't insane after all ❤

  • @passinthru4788
    @passinthru4788 Год назад +2

    So right you are with this vid! Even the kitty is exhausted from the description of the narc behavior you so accurately describe! Kitty had to turn from the narc too, no doubt contemplating banging it’s head against the wall, screaming enough already! Much like all of us have done. You do such a great job portraying the madness of narc behavior in a comedic way, that it makes their insanity most entertaining! Thanks!

    • @JebidiahKrackedyetagain-xv9hc
      @JebidiahKrackedyetagain-xv9hc Год назад

      I thought the cat quite appropriate given how utterly narcissistic THEY can be as pets....I mean no such thing as a "crazy DOG lady" is there....Kind of makes you WONDER, no??🤣🤣

  • @mdh8884
    @mdh8884 Год назад +18

    Thank you so much for your videos. Very helpfull ❤. Can you make a video about financial abuse during a relationship with the narc?

    • @lizh1988
      @lizh1988 Год назад

      This seems nuts but I heard it in Al-Anon (alcoholics are self centered as anyone, and that's a support group for their friends and family): a couple who attended meetings there were starting to undergo such difficulty regarding their business that they were having to use their savings for bills and they just didn't know what to do.
      A counselor told them that money is one of the easiest things they ever had to deal with, getting enough. I don't know why but that seemed comforting and true.
      That helped them just relax and know it was going to be okay. They were able to focus on their needs and find solutions.
      It's the other stuff in life that is the real obstacle.

  • @stephanieSean0
    @stephanieSean0 11 месяцев назад

    One of the best coaches who explains it so good that I slowly understand how there mind works. Thank u

  • @Isabela2024-yr
    @Isabela2024-yr Год назад +5

    Thank you Danish. You're on point all the time.

  • @seameology
    @seameology Год назад +2

    I had a narcissistic neighbor once tell me, "you might have four kids but I have more experience than you taking care of kids". She had one toddler and was an only child. I had a teenager and toddlers. Plus I'm the oldest of eight kids. I spit my drink out and couldn't stop laughing.
    WHY was that comment even necessary?

  • @lindajorgensen2580
    @lindajorgensen2580 Год назад +4

    You are spot on. My sister is exactly this.

  • @kwetinka0170
    @kwetinka0170 Год назад +1

    The fifth comment made it for me. Brilliant answer and also eyes opening for both sides. Do you really think that I would believe that with all that bulling you "just meant to do good for me"? Hell no! Thank you, Danish!

  • @vacationeyes6430
    @vacationeyes6430 Год назад +12

    My narcissistic uncle yelled and screamed at me for having a poker face when he was bragging about his achievements.

    • @cassiebennet4262
      @cassiebennet4262 Год назад +1

      😂 I'm sorry. I don't mean to laugh at a serious thing like that. They really are toddlers throwing a temper tantrum when they don't get their way. They are totally dependent upon other's validation.

    • @vacationeyes6430
      @vacationeyes6430 Год назад +2

      @@cassiebennet4262 In hindsight, it is funny. Imagine a grown man who needs a stamp of approval from someone 3 decades younger than himself and expects them to act impressed whether or not they are.

    • @natashametedad5165
      @natashametedad5165 Год назад +2

      😂😂😂 I always laugh at them. I really can't believe these people the way they see things is so ridiculous.😂😂😂

  • @funkingfuss9724
    @funkingfuss9724 Год назад +1

    Thank you. I now have a better understanding of the Alphabet + community. And why denying there assertions causes such rage.

  • @Enjoymentboy
    @Enjoymentboy Год назад +1

    I learned that a narcissist doesn't want to have a conversation, they only want to be heard. But they are not the least not interested in hearing what anyone else has to say unless they can directly benefit from what they hear. But even better than telling them "no" tell them "no thank you". If you REALLY want to cut them just say "whatever" and turn away from them. They can't abide being dismissed.