Can Men and Women be "best friends"?? | Work Wife's?? Setting CLEAR Boundaries..Ep. 6
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- Опубликовано: 4 окт 2024
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The moment you set your partner aside for another person for whatever reason, it can become a problem for your relationship.
Great advice!
Omg. Jonathan is wise beyond his years! Y'all are so cute and amazing together!
I peeped the “But we friends tho” & couldn’t stop laughing!! So happy y’all are being consistent with this podcast 🤍👏🏾
Thank you for tuning in!
lol BUT WE FRIENDS THOOOOOO haha (not Jonathans first response being stale lolll)
@@BetweenTheWallsPodGirlll I already knew it was him because we’ve keke’d in the comment section on your main page so no worries, he’s so much like my boyfriend & I’m you 😂😂❣️❣️
I love this y’all are having this discussion because this just happened to me recently. I’m a 19 year old female and just last month I had to cut ties with my boy bestfriend because I caught feelings and was tired of hiding it. In the beginning I was constantly trying to convince myself that this feeling was just admiration but boiii was I wrong. It got so bad to the point that it physically hurt to see him interested in other people (and not gonna lie… I did a lot of sabotage that I’m not proud of😬) I prayed a lot about it and God revealed to me that this wasn’t the person he intended for me to be with mainly because we aren’t equally yoked. Although I was tempted to confess how I felt, I knew it wouldn’t help the situation so I let it go.
That takes maturity to be real with yourself for sure!!!
I get this completely. I have a guy best friend from undergrad where we’ve never kissed, hugged or anything he’s literally just been like a big brother that I’d go to when I had craziness going on & vice versa. Now we’re both married & instantly my best friend started hanging out & talking to my husband. So now more than my friend he’s my husband’s friend. We all hang out together his wife, myself, my husband & him. I definitely understand where y’all coming from though.
My husband and I were best of friends for years…helping and giving dating advice, then 1 day we went to dinner for our bday (12/15) and we discussed dating each other becuz we cared for each other so much…we waited for almost another yr, then it just seemed natural to be together❤❤❤❤
Love that story!
Jess's response to work wife😂😂😂..I'm single but I hate it when someone thinks I'm their work wife. I have boundaries already 😂😂, they would expect you to do things for them.
I think that somebody does always secretly have feelings. Just because they haven't said anything doesn't mean feelings aren't there...
Big facts!
Soul ties are real. I didn't know what it was until much later. I think Musiq would agree it's hard to come back (song "Halfcrazy"). ...and the movie Love & Basketball. Also, my pastor has talked about that if you are being friends with somebody else (male or female), and they are sowing into you that part that you're missing from that spouse. Then now they're fulfilling something that you are lacking, and that's where the intimacy is...that "come- into-me-and-see."
No lies told lol
Work wife/husband??? The devil is a liar. That is foolishness in the height. People think it sounds cute but it’s only cute until an affair happens then you’re wondering how it got there. Hard no from me.
I agree 😂 every guy I thought was my friend ruined it by trying me at one point . It only works if both are not attracted
I agree with Jonatban . The friendships have a shift . Your spouse becomes the main person and it's not that u dont remain friends with the others
I second this 👏🏽👏🏽
Me and my husband both have best friends of the opposite sex. But honestly all our friends are either married or in long term relationships so everything becomes a group thing. But even before the merge like Jess said I knew the vibe from the women was platonic but I have boundaries.
With the married and group friends, it’s definitely the easiest for establishing good boundaries
Now that I've been married 21 years my answer has shifted to no they can't. Friends yes; best friends NO. I think movies like "My best friend's wedding and The best man" should give a clue about that. 😅 Also, I used to be the work wife but I was single and they only called us that because we argued all the time about everything. 😂
Girl, that look on your face when he almost cut you off 🤣🤣🤣. This was really good guys! Bravo 😉
Thank you!!
Lmao about the arguing cuz it’s true 😅
@@NannyDiaries23 I have no idea why we always disagreed. I know my coworkers were tired of us 🤣
@NannyDiaries23 so it's a thing about singles 😮. I thought I have issues because I argue about everything with my coworkers
@@Grace-y6o9 🤣 It's definitely a thing
“Big dawg” 🤣
I grew up very tomboyish so I've always had male friends. I think the issue with males & females get blurry when you start to do things you would normally do in a relationship within said friendship. I believe certain boundaries should be set in the beginning of the friendship so no one gets led on. My best friend also won't ever take precedence over my relationships ever. So all in all Like Jess said I believe its more about boundaries than anything. And like Johnathan said the friendship dynamics shifts once the other party is in a serious relationship.
Great topic. Create boundaries and don't cross them..... Trust and True Fidelity is needed. 😊
Absolutely!
This is a case-by-case situation. I've had a guy best friend since I was 19, I'm now 33. It's never been an issue with either of us catching feeling or wanting to explore something more. I think it boils down to when we became friends (collage, so if something was going to happen it would have happened then), and we're not attracted to each other in that way. He has a girlfriend now, and we get along great.
Boundaries and respect is the key to any successful relationship. And stop lying to yourself about your feeling for someone.
Boundaries are everything for sure, agreed 😊
This topic and mindset is considered such an anomaly now with the way this worlds just so open to any and everything but i agree with you both my covenant and vows to my spouse supercedes any relationship or promises made before marriage. That's a grownup mindset👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽I'm so happy for yall stand on business and doing what's best for yall and what yalls personal convictions my cuppa tea ain't meant for everybody to sip on!
That last bar is fire!
@@BetweenTheWallsPod 🫣 haha ayyyye 💪🏽
I believe that boundaries goes up naturally when u start getting serious with ur bf then after u get married the things u talk with your best friend of the opposite sex u start talking those things with ur spouse . That's how it happened with me and my husband .
I think boundaries should go up, but they don’t always do automatically for everyone
Also it's really important to check your motives, like to your ownself be true lol why are you so close or seeking out that person to confide in or text w/ and don't ignore the signs of someone who is catching feeling and be honest with the friend too. Personally, it's so not worth it to me in my relationship to have those kinds of friendships. Also, I'm the overreact girlfriend and had to learn the hard way (over time) I can't project or accuse it has the opposite effect than what I truly desire.
I’m so glad you brought up the topic of secrets. Once my husband and I stopped keeping secrets that we had with our BFFs, whether it was ours or about them, we were able to incorporate our BFF into our lives. Incorporate them fully, free without secrets, free without judgment of each others BFFs.
I loved this topic. I had one guy that I called my bestfriend but he certainly wasn't 😂😂😂. We definitely had feelings for each other so yeah no I don't believe in it idc😂😂😂😂
You and me both 😂
Yea I dont do opposite sex friendships😂 , theres always feeling son their end. Like Jonathan, Im. Very friendly and man very giggly. Because im cute and bomb personality I never wanted to send the wrong messages. Im cordial with lots of people but to be like my bff nope. Never!
Great topic. I had a male "best friend" when I was a kid, but it was a running joke. Everyone knew he liked me but I wasn't allowed to have a boyfriend so he stayed in the friend zone until I was 18 and sure enough he asked me out but it became weird eventually because we didn't have the same feelings. My husband and I started off as friends in college. I told him I wasn't interested in dating, and he said he would wait until I was. We've been married for 15 years now, lol. Maybe men and women can be platonic friends, but that has not been my experience. My husband and I do not have friends of the opposite sex and that works for us in our marriage, but to each his own, I guess.🤷🏾♀️
yes, you can have an opposite-sex best friend cause been having one for over 36 years since middle school and our friendship is strong.
it's not impossible, its just doesn't commonly work lol
Same for me! I’m 27 now, been best friends with mine since the 6th grade
I have two males Best friends and we’ve been best friends for decades!
Hello beautiful couple, I tell you Johnathan can write a book, the wisdom that he speaks can truly help many many many men that are twice his age, he reminds me of Salmon in the Bible continued blessings.
Thank you :)
@@BetweenTheWallsPod you're welcome
Trust me, the relationship that we have with our BFF did not start out all hunky-dory. It took time to solidify the relationships among us. But my husband and myself decided that we did not want to lose our BFF relationships, even though we made a life commitment. so it was upon us to do the work to ensure that we could maintain healthy relationships with our BFFs that did not jeopardize our marriage. We were challenged many times with trying to incorporate that into our lives, but persistence paid off and almost 30 years later we enjoyed life as we get older with our friends from almost 40 years ago.
I don’t believe in opposite sex friendships especially when you’re dating for marriage. Everything you would talk about or do with your friend, you do them with your significant other. I really don’t think it’s that important to value opposite sex friendships. If you have questions or concerns regarding relationship advice etc ask your male/ female family members if absolutely needed otherwise talk it out with your partner.
I had a male friend from 3rd grade and when I met my husband FINALLY!! I respectfully told him what time it was and he understood. I also feel opposite sex friendships can hinder you from finding your future spouse and I personally didn’t want anything in the way of that.
Where I’ll probably disagree, is I don’t see a problem with friendship in general. But the proximity of a best friend is a whole different thing imo. Thanks for your insight! - Jon
I feel your spouse can have opposite sex friends especially when they were around before the relationship but best friend tends to cross the emotional cheating because your spouse is your boy best friend so if another man is knowing things and being told things your spouse aren’t giving them a run up and to know parts of you your spouse doesn’t. Also as boundaries they can’t act in the same capacity as your same sex best friends as in being up late night together overindulging in alcohol together spending the night together because that leaves too much opportunity for things to happen and break your marital boundaries. Because like yall said when you get too comfortable thinking it will never happen things happen so in a marriage it’s important to set boundaries not just with best friends or opposite but even same sex friends just to ensure you are never put in a situation that would question your intentions or loyalty/respect for your marriage.
This is true! I am still friends with my male bestie BUTTTT we use to be single and hang out all the time. Once we got older you have to set boundaries based on your partner. We are both now married to different people 😂 and we both will check on each other throughout the year but I’m not hanging out solo with him. I respect and love his wife and that’s weird we cool but grown. Only man I’m hanging with solo is my husband or men in my family.
I agree there are several types of couples. Some are healthy and many are not healthy. The goal is to create a healthy couple amongst the two of you such that once you incorporate people outside, it can remain healthy and everyone benefits.
Jonathan be spitting FACTS everytime! 🗣️
Y'all are AWESOME
ah thank youuu!!
In fact, to be honest, it was our BFF that helped us get through a major marital hurdle around year seven when we had three children under the age of seven and we were approaching our midlife crisis. Life was busy. We had no time for each other. Our BFFs helped us get over that hurdle. 20 plus years later, as OGs, we often talk about our years when we were new to marriage and acknowledge what we now know, but we did not known then. Our BFFs have since married their own individual life partners, and our village has grown, I would not change a thing in my past that got me to this present time.
I think it works if they’re not attracted to each other. My best friend is a guy. National track star. Former NFL player. Very handsome. But I’ve never been attracted to him. We’ve known each other since we were 3 years old and now we’re 34/35. I really think we beat the odds. The problem is, people see us and they don’t believe that we’ve never crossed even the smallest of boundaries with each other. There were a lot of girls who wanted him to cut me off, and there were men I’ve dated who wanted me to cut him off. None of those people are here now (for other reasons)! I can’t imagine losing my best friend 😕
I love Y’all and these conversations are so needed , I’ve never been married but I was a job wife , mother as well, he was single and so was I , I’m 62 and learning since I’ve moved back to Mississippi that the guys I grew up with was my best friends, didn’t have a clue that they were interested in me. I didn’t see them in that way, but all the years in Pennsylvania my job husband was white hispanic and black, the white one flirted all the time he was married but the other two just said I was wifey because I fed them all the time lol, I never cross boundaries because I had too much respect for his wife whom I never met❤❤❤❤❤
I absolutely love this!
Whew, a little storytime...Had a friend that had a "play brother". When I met him he was married and my friend was living in the home with him and his wife and kids...she had financial issues and they were helping her out. When she showed me a pic she said isn't my brother fine?...I thought it was weird but brushed it off. 3 years later...she and I were no longer friends and her play brother called me out of the blue. He had my number because I had a nanny service. He called to let me know that he was divorced and asked me out for coffee...we began dating seriously about 6 months later...he told her and she cried and asked why did he pick me...she asked what did I have that she didn't. I told him that I thought she liked him but he didn't believe me until this happened... needless to say after 34 years of friendship they are no longer friends. He and I are happily married for 7 years. Jonathan is right!!
This is a story alright! Well congrats on your marriage though :)
Wonderful podcast as always!! Keep them coming! Great conversations
Thanks for listening!
I personally don't believe that a male and female can be best friends . Them male friends be waiting for their chance
I agree
Exactly!💯
I love watching you guys. I’m not going to stop watching your podcast or Only one Jess channel. I’m old enough to be the mom of both of you so this comment could be an age thing but I think you guys use the word “like” way too much. I hope this comment is ONLY taken as constructive criticism.
thats fair lol cant promise itll change but def something to work on! thank you!!
Love ya'll ❤
Yes, I had a male best friend. We met in high school. He always made me laugh. No chemistry. No one catching feels. We were so close that I made him my son's godfather. He died due to a motorcycle accident 😢. HE never interfered in my relationships but would give me advice. His wife was ok with us being best friends. So yes male and females can be friends especially since the boundaries are there and the friendship is real.
Sorry for your loss 💙. Thanks for sharing.
@@BetweenTheWallsPod Thank you 😊
YAY! Just in time for me to eat dinner. I'll be chiming in again after I watch 🤓
Waiting on it!
I had missed y'all 😩🥹
This was such a refreshing conversation, I love yall so much. Agreed 100, as for me and my 🏠 babyyy❤😂
I agree with Jess, it is more about boundaries.
They can me and my husband are BEST FRIENDS 😅
lol as it should be 😂
I honestly needed this conversation, thank you guys 💜 #Boundaries,Respect/Compassion & Accountability!!!
Yes!
Your hubby is a keeper!!
Your spouse becomes your priority and friendships have to shift. Nothing is wrong with having friends. Your partner should now become your best friend. Leaning to much any person and not your significant other when there is a situation will become a problem. Speak to each other
The Schoeller family husband and wife always out their daughter first. And they seem happy to do so. As it seems to come across in their vlogs. Many of their vlogs features the dad and the daughter. He gives his daughter a lot of attention. I used to think she was a daddy’s girl, but in some videos you see she loves her mom just as much. They just bond differently; and most of the activities they do center around where the dad would be more involved with her. He often carry her around on his shoulders, and she has a lot of energy so he is usually catching her jumping off something, throwing her in a pool...etc And the mom records the vlog, often times being very silent in the background and giving them the platform. Selfless! Well that’s the definition of a mom, straight up selfless, the gift that keeps on giving...etc. At least to me it is. She is secure in herself and her relationship with her husband; her daughter is never a threat.
The mom in their vlog bond with their daughter when she washes and style her hair or when they prepare cooking recipes.
In one vlog Jon jokingly and playfully scolded his wife for not getting their daughter a drink from Dunkin‘ Donuts. Her reason is because she never drinks it, sounds reasonable to me. But Jon said babygirl gets whatever she wants even if she doesn’t drink it, mom walked back to get babygirl a drink.
Upon realizing babygirl didn’t have a drink, Jon instead handed his drink to his daughter, and she said to her dad, we can share. That was so sweet. When dad asked where is babygurl’s drink, his daughter ran behind mom’s leg, hugging one of her leg. Even in that moment it was a sweet reaction. I think babygurl understood mom’s reasoning but still felt sad about not getting a drink. Maybe she felt left out, because it is always the three of them. And I think that’s the reason why mom decided to go get the drink for her, even if she know babygirl may not drink it; they always want her to feel included.
I think they make personal one in one time for each other while she is asleep. But once she is up most of the time is dedicated to nurturing and loving her.
I used to do that when I parented my little cousins, I was their guardian for some time. I had a strict 8PM bedtime; meaning by 8PM you are already in bed, not getting ready to be for bed. Because I needed a couple hours to myself to have a glass of wine if I wanted, talk to my friends, watch a movie...etc. See all day it’s about them, heck even when I sleep; I be thinking of what I need to do for them in the upcoming days. So yes at the time; I put myself first by enforcing 8PM bedtime. So I thought; Ha! It turned out that it is still about them and not truly about me; because I take a couple hours most nights to myself because I need to be balanced so that I can be my best self for them. See, children...they always come first; even when you put yourself first.
See Jon, in my eye is a real man. He gave babygirl his drink, he put himself last. Both mom and dad were laughing about the ordeal. They both always put that child first. Selfless. So no
my husband won’t always come first. But he will be okay with that. He will know that I love him and that he is my only romantic love, partner, and mate. That is the only area where he will always be the one and only. The rest depends on the situation. There are other people who love me and who I love, and they need to know that I value them and they are very important to me as well; we all can share time and space either together or at different times. I never understood why people had to choose. That’s what society lead people to believe that’s what love and marriage is, but that isn’t love and neither is it marriage. Most people don’t know themselves and are battling with traumas and insecurities. A well balanced and adjusted person don’t need to do that.
Anyone who fool themselves to believe their mate always comes first are steps away from marriage counseling and destroying the other important relationships in their lives. Keep it up and you won’t have anyone to celebrate life with; not even your own children; just two tired and miserable people in a marriage that is so co-dependent in toxic behaviors.
If I have to constantly fear losing you to someone else than we weren’t ready to get married, and just May not be the one for one another.
Great information! Very balanced & wise views. Thank you
Love the content!!! Keep em coming!! Would love to see one about asking for reassurance and strengthening communication!!
Great suggestion!
Great show!!!!
Great episode!🤎🖤
I think is depends on the stage of life you're in. My husband is my best friend...so my closest friend is a male. He is also my husband's friend, we became friends when he was already married. I have no attraction at all. I have so much respect for his wife and his family and I strongly believe it is the same on his part. So for us it works
I know what you are saying Jonathan. It’s difficult for many men to get into deep emotional conversation with a guy-guy conversation, or guy-girl conversation. Women are more in tune with their emotions and can emotionally get deep about a topic to bring the meat of the matter to the surface; so that it could be dealt with; unless a man is innately like that or was breaded to be like that it is something that’s foreign to most men.
We all have feminine and masculine energy. These next statements are intended with the highest level of respect and loving way possible; Jonathan is in tune with his feminine energy and that is why he is well articulated and can get to the meat of a situation. He is very introspective and sensitive to the emotions of all; and that is why he is great at what he does; and that’s what makes people gravitate towards him for advice.
I am very much like that, strangers tell me their deepest secrets. I have worked on being supportive and kind throughout the years. Mindfulness. Just because something doesn’t bother me doesn’t mean it doesn’t bother someone else; and that is why I love to have conversations so that I get to learn someone’s triggers and sensitivities so that I stay on the safe side of that. But as a female no one thinks twice about it because this is a common thing for women to be in tune with their feminine energy; but given the society we live in some people don’t welcome a man being in tune with his feminine energy The same way they might be if a woman was in tune.
I personally love my man to be in tune with his sensitivity. For example the Schoeller family on RUclips; I love the way the husband Jon, I think, just started following them, is with his daughter and his wife. He sometimes tear up on camera when talking about sensitive topics regarding their daughter. And is never afraid to show his love and admiration for the 2 special ladies in his life.
And Jonathan you have been exemplary when it comes to showing sensitive to your wife’s needs. I can count many instances in this video alone where you have done that. I can see that being one of the many great things about you that Jess fell in love with, and I hope the best for your union always. I love that you two have these conversations. I hope you two continue to grow with each other.
Great topic. Love this podcast❤❤❤
Love your channel ❤
Thank you so much!!
Very true! Unless the friend is queer, the men end up becoming limerant over me!😒😏😒😏
SAT word alert!
I have a male good friend and he has never compared me to his wife and I never would fathom comparing myself to her because it is a completely different relationship. The way I look at him is very platonic and my expectation of him is very minimal. So no there’s no comparison to ever be made. He rarely bring his relationship issues to me but there were a couple times where he did and I gave him the woman’s perspective on the issue. It was finding the delicate balance in parenting their child. Where the mom who carried this child to term for many months to delivery, and win also felt the discomfort of carrying this child as it is growing inside of her belly, the bonding from day one it is very different than a fatherly love. It usually becomes a topic of someone being too rough and the other being too tolerant. I have yet to carry and birth a child; but I am very connected to my potential maternal instinct, nurturing instincts and female instincts; which is why children are drawn to me and I them.
I explained to him how I felt when my nephew burst out crying after receiving the backhand from his father. I immediately had a knee jerk reaction as if I were his mother; when my nephew burst into loud cries it was as if I felt the direct pain my self; my heart just hurt so badly for him. I immediately followed behind my beige as he headed to my sister’s room (his mom) to be consoled by her. I picked up my nephew and consoled him and explained what happened as he was sobbing so hard that it was very difficult for him to form words. I couldn’t imagine what my sister would have done had she been the one who witnessed her husband backhand my nephew in the mouth because he thought he was out of line with something my nephew said.
My friend wants his son to be tough and don’t want him to come out soft. I helped him to understand although you are raising a man; she is raising a man who will one day be a husband to a woman, and knowing how to be sensitive to a woman is necessary for a healthy relationship; that’s how he will learn how to treat little girls, women, and eventually his own daughter. His son by nature is a lil Casanova. Sensitive lil guy; and nothing is wrong with that; there are ways to teach him to be strong in order to protect himself but sensitivity is also necessary for all beings regardless of gender. Having sensitivity is what helps as to empathize, care, and feel for one another as human beings and that should be encouraged. Unless one’s goal is to raise a psychopath.
I think he understood where I was coming from and I think it helped him understand his wife’s perspective when it comes to raising their son together. I think sometimes he thinks I take up for his wife; but it’s really that I am offering a woman’s perspective.
I think greasing is Florida 😂
lol I knew it 😂
The danger in cutting your friendship because of a new relationship is that when you fall on hard times then turn around wanting to turn to old friendships; you may not get the support you want/need. Because it becomes a relationship of convenience and not a true friendship.
I don't think it's ever smart to completely sever friendships for a relationship unless the friend is constantly crossing boundaries, but it is important that when getting into a marriage you understand that your spouse comes before anyone else.
I will never let anyone think that he/she comes above all. It’s a lie and everyone knows it. People say it because it sounds good. In reality priority constantly shifts depending on the situation. There are times where other important people in my life will come first because the situation calls for it; and he should be okay with that. Or sometimes I will need to put myself first... People are either outright being untruthful or they are not really looking at what they are saying and matching it with their actions; because just saying I my husband comes first sound so good and that’s what a wife is expected to say. SMH 🤦🏾♀️!!!
Like I have heard some women say they will plate their men food before their children. I for one would never do that; except if my children aren’t home. Any man who thinks he should go above his children isn’t a real father. My children would come before my husband, I will make time for my husband but he needs to know nurturing them is my priority and if we can’t do it together where we all are enjoying each other’s company then he wouldn’t be the man I thought I married.
My sister and her then boyfriend came to pick up my nieces from my house. I had had them over for the weekend. She came so late to pick them up; way later than we initially communicated. She kept changing the time throughout the day; ugh!!!! I was forced to feed them dinner unexpectedly. Just as I finished I was plating their food, the baby daddy was never my favorite person; but he was my niece’s father; so I asked if he wanted me to fix him a plate. I fixed everyone a plate. I noticed my niece’s father didn’t touch his food . He had left his plate on the side, his food getting cold as he fed his then 10-month old daughter so patiently and lovingly. While my sister made sure she fed herself first, scuffing down her food. Had I known he was going to do that, I would have plated his food last. I had expected my sister to feed my niece. He only ate after my 10-month niece was done eating. He earned my respect that day as a father.
A lot of men put themselves above their children and their wives; and their wives let it happen. I am traditional when it comes to that, a real man put his family first and himself last; and that’s how he will earn the submission and admiration of a real woman.
Often times people marry these insecure partners with narcissistic or abandonment issues. It is time people work on their insecurities and co-dependency issues. I don’t have insecurity issues so being with someone who does wouldn’t be ideal for me. My partner need to have the same quality in that regard, free to be and I am free to be. We are two healthy individuals who have love for one another and have established trust in our relationship. Other than that, he is someone else’s husband not mine. I am very clear on who I am and who I want to be in my life. #nocuttingcorners #Allornothing
It’s exhausting to constantly be validating someone’s worth, walking on eggshells my entire life isn’t my ideal relationship situation. There will be times where we need to reassure each other for whatever reason; but I need to know you are secure within yourself, me, and this relationship or else I will let you know it isn’t working. But to each their own.
It’s been long ❤
Happy Tuesday 😊
My husband and I have opposite sex bestfriends. BUT after 10 years together, we have become each other's bestfriends. We're still close to our friends, but it's just different now. And ain't no work nothing! We both work from home, but still. Lol.
Men and women can be aroused just by looking at the opposite sex, strangers or persons known to them. So bestie with the opposite sex is rare. I agree 100%. Feelings can potentially develop. The nature of human design for sure.
Grease is definitely in Florida 😂
lol I figured 😅
As the only girl in the group chat, it’s possible lol
LOLLL you are the exception
I don't think that is safe to be best friend with the opposite sex. I think that your spouse should be their best friend because that's who they should be sharing everything with. If I was married it'd be a no for me❤
First!!❤
Yes you are!
Looking at 40 and having a guy best friend of 20 years, no one has ever caught feelings. Perhaps may be its b/c it was an arranged friendship. We didn't casually meet based on a common interest. I think that is what the difference is because of how we met. Also, you can know someone soooo well that you DONT want it😂
lol maybe you’re not the one with the feelings 👀
I used to think they could be friends until.the guy "friend" made an inappropriate comment. I had to cut it off. My now husband then boyfriend tried go tell me and I thought he was being controlling. Boy..... I should have listened.
😂😂😂
I mean … Jess told me I was her best friend? 😮 so does mean it’s not true? 🙋🏽♂️🧐
T pleaseeee LOLLL
So let’s say I’m dating a guy. He’s saying he’s ready to marry and that I’m the one in month 2-4 months of dating. He gives his number to a girl or two at a gas station. He’s also messaging a girl on a social media platform that stays in another state but goes to the same church he attends in NC. He said they are just “associates” and all they talk about is how their day is going and basic things. He gave his number out within month 2 of us dating. He had been talking to the girl on FB for a few months before we met. What is this lol😂😂?
Tomfoolery, my sister in Christ
How do yall feel about a guy who refuses to let go of a friend when they know their wife is uncomfortable with it. Feel like they messed up cause you committed to the wife then showed her that the friend is more important. Though luck
I was dating a guy years ago who had a girl best friend. I thought I really resembled the best friend. Years later they are now married lol.
Those are the breaks sometimes 😅
I have a male best friend. Friends for almost 30 years. Backstory: He had a crush on me in middle school, but we became great friends. We NEVER did anything sexual. I'm cool with his wife and all. We genuinely love each other like brother & sister.
Edit/Adding:
My significant other can have female friends - I'm not bothered. HOWEVER! 🔊 He betta NOT bring a chick around me he has slept with talking about this my friend. I would knock his head between the dresser and the garage door cuz that's disrespectful.
lolll as you should sis!! but im sure he not tryna play with his life like that
To be honest that best friend is dead to me I’m been hurt to many time’s by my partner and his girl best friend where I found many appropriate text messages between them and when I talk about how I’m not comfortable about it I get called crazy jealous so no. If it works for you it works for you
Some people actually prefer male friends than females friends I guess.
What about staying cool with an ex? Like if his ex got close to his family while they were together and they broke up and she just stayed close to them and still came over and spent the night and and was just chilling?
spent the night??? if you not in a relationship then i guess but if you're in a new one then that for sure aint it.
If your gf is uncomfortable with your friendship then it’s time for her to talk about feeling secure in the relationship. The gf should not force the issue for him to choose; at this point; you as the gf should reflect on whether this is the best situation for you.
I personally would never dump a good friend for anyone irrespective of the gender. If my friend is being respectful and I feel nothing but love, support, and true intent then brother the gf or the friend have to speak to one another; but you will respect each other, hopefully, because of the love you both have for me. There are people in my life that I truly don’t vibe with but am respectful to because of a mutual person that we both care about and love.
Anyone who ask you to choose or give you an ultimatum isn’t in your life for the reason you may think. They want to exercise power and control over you and you should be careful of such relationships. It usually end up in “I have told you so” after they wreaked havoc in all of your relationships.
Bottom line if your significant other have gone out of his/her way to create boundaries and prove his/her loyalty; there should be no reason for the other partner to trip. If trust was not established beforehand then it’s time to have these important conversations and build stronger foundation. Or part ways.
If there is still baggage being carried over from one relationship to another; perhaps you didn’t give yourself enough time to heal. And the idea of a relationship or marriage being property or ownership only reveal that much needed healing still awaits.
Get to the root of one’s insecurities. Pretty much! #selfwork #Selfworth
Only 7 min in… but by trying to date and seeing where things go that best friend title is dead… especially if it doesn’t work out .🤷🏿♂️
Wow you guys covered that seconds later 😅
lol I just peeped who this is, love brother
@@lharvey0587 way ahead of ya lolll
Wait! Kissing your friend isn’t sexual ?????
You can be friends with the opposite sex but best friends, no. And, why do you need a male/opposite sex bestfriend?
I Can promise you it’s not the homie 😅
the verdict is in sis lol
❤❤❤
I personally hate the title “----... wife” anything, if this person isn’t really your wife. When I admire someone at work, usually males because I vibe better with the masculine energy. If I bring that person lunch; it’s because I am showing love and appreciation. That is it. Not expecting anything out of it.
There was this security guard in the building I worked at that I took some platonic liking to, because he was just a beautiful spirit with old school upbringing. I hadn’t seen that in like forever. He was about 10 years My senior. I forgot who did it first, but one day I went to pick up lunch and brought him lunch as well. And one day I didn’t have enough time to pick up lunch and I walked through the door starving, and he handed me a bag that had food that he brought for me. It’s almost as if he knew. I think we had each other’s contact but rarely talked outside of when we were at work.
This man was married with two children, one already in college. During breaks I often would go downstairs to the lobby to talk with him. It was something about his spirit and energy that I connected with; but It had only been that. Two people having clean admiration for another. He never came out of line with having romantic feelings for me, and neither did I. Because I truly never did.
There were other security guards that I spoke with in the building on my way up to work, but I would never have that level of admiration for them because their spirit and energy I didn’t vibe with. Many of them try to come sideways with me, and some were in relationships.
We all have discernment, many of us chose to ignore them. A persons energy tells you who’s who, and since I don’t fall in the category of side orders, I for one for sure would never fall for a friend because there is something that automatically click off or fail to exist in me once I know you are married. I equate it to one of my sisters introducing some guy to me as her boyfriend; there’s no way I could ever have feelings beyond sibling-like for that person EVER!!!! That’s why I used to think shows like Maury and Jerry Springer to be fake; I could never fathom siblings or parents being intimate with their family members significant other. GROSS!
.Y'ALL FORGOT THE LINKS!!!!!!!!!.. 🤣 🤣
Oh boy lol, it’s in now! Thank you!
So I can’t have a guy best friend? Lol I don’t but dayuummm 😅no hate or shade i absolutely love my good sis Jess
lol I mean you can, but just know some feelings may develop 😅
Work wife/husband??? The devil is a liar. That is foolishness in the height. People think it sounds cute but it’s only cute until an affair happens then you’re wondering how it got there. Hard no from me.