3 Texting Mistakes That Keep You SINGLE
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- Опубликовано: 11 июл 2024
- Ever sent a text and immediately regretted it? Perhaps the other person didn't reply, and you spent hours over-analyzing it. We've all been there!
We've all made mistakes, but it's never too late to turn things around - press play and let's expose the major texting mistakes that may be keeping you single.
#relationship #dating #love #textingtips
Writer: Clarisse Delos Reyes
Editor: Michal Mitchell
Script Manager: Kelly Soong
Voice Over: Amanda Silvera ( / amandasilvera )
Animator: Krisha @MacchiusMoriatoStudios07
RUclips Manager: Cindy Cheong
References:
Hall, E. D. (2021). The role of communication technologies in relationship maintenance during the transition to college. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 38(1), 3-26. doi: 10.1177/0265407520964298
Finkel, E. J. (2020). The all-or-nothing marriage: How the best marriages work. Penguin.
Turkle, S. (2015). Reclaiming conversation: The power of talk in a digital age. Penguin Books.
You targeted the right audience😭
We hope this video helps :)
My friends said I am handsome until I open my mouth or in this case, moving my thumbs. This is what I needed. 🤤
Fr this is literally me with all my Friends
😢😢
Fr fr
First time I ever got actually pretty unhappy at my friend was through text.. and it was today. It's insane how timely this video was for me lol.
I can relate! What happened in your text exchange that got you feeling that way?
Maybe it was a misunderstanding, it happened to me too. Please don’t let a misunderstanding end a beautiful friendship ;;
@@Psych2go
>3 Texting Mistakes That Keep You SINGLE
Oh look, yet another problem that I am avoiding because I am on the Celibacy Train.
That's nice
algorithm.
Timestamps
1). Overwhelming with too many texts 0:14
2). Being too generic or boring 1:31
3). Misinterpreting tone or intent 2:32
Hope this helps you out. Hope you have a nice day. 💙💙💙💙💙💙
It does, and thank you.
I struggle with #2 idk how to keep it interesting
@@kuchiku-kanzo759 Just ask the most random Questions there are, look around in your Room, oh is there a Book? Maybe ask them what they think about books, look outside the window, oh there is a Bird, ask them about their favorite Animal. Its often better to ask the most random questions than being too boring, maybe if you are lucky enough you will get in a Chain of Topics and will find something you can talk about for hours!
@@miellauwu, good idea. thank you!
3. Is why I use tonetags 👍
"How to text first that isn't just "hey" or "hi"?"
- an overthinker
like literally, those who state this should name at least one example of desired opening message
Depends on who you're texting and why.
You can go
Hi,how are you doing today?
1:20 Don’t worry about spam texting. Some people like it some don’t. It’s about finding the right person for you that will love all/most parts of you.
It still shows a clear lack of independence, hobbies and respect for the other persons privacy
@@pepinillosexy9782…it’s not that serious 😂
I think in the end, it's about intention and balance :)
@@pepinillosexy9782bruh if i wann talk to you you should Listen or why else are you in a relationship?
@pepinillosexy9782 I mean. It really does depend on what generation, social preferences, social cues, even social media platform. Like. Totally cool over discord, as long as it's benign and chill, ans they've expressed truthfully that they're cool with it. But could be weird on Instagram. Time, place, mood, and the like are SUPER important.
Another red flag is when you text but don't respond for ages and its dry or they may seem interested but then not text you back for a day or 2. Inconsistencies equals unavailability
or they are busy...
Just don‘t text too much in the beginning when getting to know someone. Meet in person, pick up the phone. Learn how they see things and what kind of humour they have by their immediate reactions. Irony is often a trap while texting in case you don‘t know if the person at the other end knows that you are just kidding. Been on both sides - sending and receiving - and it just causes too much trouble at the beginning.
Great advice! Face-to-face interactions indeed reveal a lot. How do you usually approach transitioning from texting to in-person meetings?
It's honestly sad how society has come to almost fear face to face interactions over texting. Even just talking over the phone is scary to some people. If you can't stand to speak in person, then you might as well not be conversing at all. Texting leads to so many opportunities for things to be misinterpreted and damage relationships. Don't even get me started on people who will straight up reject you or roast you based on the phone you're using to text. "Android user? rEd fLaG 🚩"
@Psych2go Hey Psych2go, thank you for your response. 🙂 Hmm, you asked me how I proceed from text to real life…to be honest I don‘t do it that way round normally. Tried it the other way round but wasn’t happy with the outcome. When I grew up, there were no mobiles, internet and online-dating around. If you wanted to get to know a person closer you had to be around that person in school, leisure activities, disco and so on. You made eye contact and/or asked random things. While doing the smalltalk you could see how this person reacts to you and maybe you already had a good chemistry going on. And after that first revealing check you exchanged your phone numbers.
With texting first you have the ambiguity of how someone can stress a word or a sentence. Emoticons can help though. You can also have someone at the other side who is not that that talkative or funny in real life at all because they can take their time to answer when texting. And talking of online-dating you can have a person with not so good intentions disguising as your perfect match by texting only.
If I really had to text first I would proceed to phoning or even zoom calls as soon as possible. And if you meet, especially when it‘s someone you got to know online only, meet in public places in daylight.
@Grassphobic Yeah, a lot has changed. But believe me: You don‘t want to have people in your life that judge you based on your mobile. Or throwing tantrums if they are asked for a conversation on the phone. Chances are not quite high that this sort of relationship/friendship could work out in the long run.
My crush hates face to face so I had to start off with texting before moving to in person interactions. Now, she still hates going out with ppl she is not familiar with but is very comfortable with me. Soo I just feel that you have to use texting as a tool to move beyond online
Honestly, at this point, receiving any kind of message from a friend is enough for me, just knowing that they care about me is more than enough to make me happy.
I agree a lot
As someone who is adhd and autistic, I find that I really struggle with all of these, especially misinterpreting messages for those exact reasons, tone is a big one for me. So I wanted to thank you so much for this video, I finally worked up the courage to ask for someone’s number and I really hope that it goes well, and this really helped my better understand what I need to work on!
I am autistic, maybe adhd and maybe schizoid. This is a really struggle, our rigidity of mind doesn't help either, especially when something is uncertain. I always need to ask 120425 questions and i cannot get the thing out of my head. And i end up frustrating myself hahaha
@@RouxusLeGueux no it really doesn’t help at all, and honestly I do the same thing, it’s so frustrating hahaha
I understand completely! All of these made me realise how needy these things come across so I will be using this as well! I wish you goodluck!
I agree with you really Struggled myself
I recommend using/requesting the other person to use tonetags for the tone stuff. It really helps me out :')
As someone who has autism and really bad anxiety, this really hits the nail on the head as it’s been a frequent issue for me. However, I have been trying really hard to not make these mistakes yet it still remains a struggle for me. I think now that I’m more hesitant to talk to people because of all this.
I get what you mean. I'm autistic and it's difficult to even strike up a conversation sometimes, and most of the time, you're the one who has to initiate it, because nobody else will do it for you or even go back n forth with who begins the talking.
I remember 6 years ago when I finally got my crushes number and promised to hang out in the summer, but like any fantasy, it never happened, but getting her number was something at least. To this very day, I only have one real friend who I talk to sometimes and hang out with, he's mint.
Eventually, things will turn out for the better.
As a fellow autistic, the best thing you can do is to assume they are not talking because they're busy, and try to keep it to a minimum of one contact every 2 days (and a contact includes conversation; if a conversation happens, once you send a message, wait for them to reply, and don't try to constantly poke them to continue talking).
Texting scares me, more than any other social interaction. I’m pretty extroverted and have no troubles talking to people, one on one, but I’m always super anxious about texting. I think it’s because I can’t see them, and read their body language or know if I’m being a bother and they need to leave and go do something else.
These are almost my exact thoughts, although i’m mostly an introvert I feel that being face-to-face is bounds more comfortable if not completely.
i'm introverted too but i like texting more! It's like a level playing field where one voice is no louder than anyone else's. that said, it's WAY more reliable to hold a conversation F2F, and body language is fun to play around with!
0:15 Overwhelming with too many texts
01:33 Being too generic or boring
02:32 Misinterpreting tone or intent
Please give me a pin Psych2go love your videos, thanks for blessing us everyday, hope these timestamps help us.
Also make sure your texts are comprehensible. If youre someone who uses voice to text frequently and you never go back to make sure what you said makes sense before you send it, no ones gonna want to continue a conversation where they have to keep asking what you're trying to say.
Absolutely! Clarity is key in communication. How do you ensure your messages come across clearly when using voice-to-text?
@@Psych2go I basically talk like a robot 😂 it's very unnatural sounding but I say each word with a lot of diction and I make sure I'm not speaking as if I'm on the phone with someone, (like saying "umm" or "uhhh" in between sentences). And I don't use voice to text very often but when I do, I at least go back and read it to make sure my texts are readable 😂
Conversations are not meant to be held over text; the richness of verbal communication, with its tones and expressions, is better experienced through phone calls.
I've observed a shift in how people engage in conversations; it seems to lean towards small talk when boredom strikes, eventually resorting to the ease of texting due to its lower effort requirement.
My problem is that I don't text enough. Texting was after my time, like texting was still difficult on flip phones when I was 19. Luckily after spending time with a person I can quickly get past generic or boring responses probably within the first 2 or 3 days. Got past my days of making assumptions or misinterpreting texts. After a certain point you just get over it and realize your friendship or relationship with that person will never go anywhere with that mindset. Seems like most dating is done through apps these days and I am still a little nervous about it. At least use a VPN before using dating apps, never hurts to take extra steps to be safe.
I’m not totally sure that you understand what VPNs do or are for. Using one for a dating app is like trying to buy alcohol in a trenchcoat while standing on your friend’s shoulders: you still give them your ID lol
@@EllaBella-76 if you login into a public site via VPN you’re just giving a way to connect all your VPN activity to an account you own lol
@@EllaBella-76 to the internet, maybe (depending on whether your VPN is trustworthy or not). But to the dating app itself? Unless you are faking your profile info and your pictures then yes, you are still giving them your ID.
DONT have VPN for make-up+filters + not the best manners or way of being.
Date apps are such a beautiful way of make mistakes that u realise after taking the person to a date....
AND are few woman who take light heart just going out for a coffe just to check if "ure as cool as u seem on line".
@@EllaBella-76 comment got deleted for whatever reason but I’ll repeat: it just conecta your activity to accounts you own, connecting all your activity during that connection and making it possible to connect all activity.
As someone with texting issues, I should probably watch this! 🙈
We hope this video helps :) did you relate to any of these signs?
Did you end up watching it
@@omnacky yeah 😆
It helped me
Could we have a video of what you should be texting? I struggle with texting someone unless I know them well, and that has definitely stunted some of my relationships platonic and romantic
Thank you for the suggestion :) We will discuss this with the team
@@Psych2go You have no idea the amount of people that could post this comment but they don´t bc they know it´s probably not going to be seen.
@@ProtoGen-2K ahem.
As someone who has a crush on an introvert, when i text someone or message someone I usually wait for them to respond or give them a week to respond. Overanalyzing texts is something I tend to do but i usually just try to fill my time with something else until they respond.
I am older person so I dont text however this happens in e mail conversations too. Thank you and wishing you all a great 2024. and beyond! Blessings from Canada 😎🍁🙏🏻
God bless, brother. It's really nice seeing how many different people find those videos helpful!
Happy new year! :) thank you for sharing your thoughts on this video :)
I feel like anytime I’m going through an issue, one of your videos show up out of the blue and basically say “hey I’m here! Watching this will help!”. Thanks guys
The problem is everyones trying to get with people that are uninterested in them. Then it becomes an uphill struggle to make them like you.
The truth is we can't control the thoughts of others, or it is at least very very difficult
Get on a dating app and only reply to people who liked you first. That's what's worked for me
Oh the one who always lists the topics in the comments, bless us with your presence.
On a hour long video, sure.. but c'mon, its just over 4 minutes and you need 'timestamps' and and a list of each 1-minute topic... what? too difficult to figure it out?
It doesn't have to be this way. When both people feel that feelings it shouldn't matter... If this is happening to you the other end doesn't give 2 ducks about you, as simple as that.
I needed this, thank you
i just literally can’t talk to people
This has somehow helped me understand, because in the past I ended up doing those kinds of things which ended up loosening my bonds with other people that I come across whether through phone numbers or discord chats.
Thank you for sharing :) It's a learning process for everyone. What changes are you considering to build stronger connections moving forward?
This is my favorite video that you made because I made them even time that I texted a girl that I had a crush on! I love to hear more about this issue, like how do you recover from making the first texting mistake.
I related to some of the signs. Thank you for making such informative and relatable content ♥️👍🏻
The narrator's voice is so calm and relaxing to hear 🥰✨
I just felt that my messages had been ignored for 3 days, and I found this video
They might be going through alot.. and have been trying to sort out real-life issues first. There are many softer explanations for why a person might not respond to a friend. I hope you don't get bitter or resentful, because that’ll really push them away.
Just take it easy and back off, maybe come back and say something after a good while!
That's tough. Did the video help you address the situation with your friend?
@@snowarmth Thanks a lot that's very helpful
@@Psych2go yaaa of course, I feel calmer and know what to do, thank you
That can be tough. How are you feeling now?
You honestly opened my eyes. I think realize more of my experiences with past girls and I was mad at them of course but now I’m just I understand everything now
Thanks So Much
This vid came right when I needed.
When somebody truly likes you there is no texting mistakes everything gets resolved automatically because two people truly like eachother
Exactly. Sadly I haven't found a single person who likes me this way. It's so freaking difficult for me yet all of my friends are dating.
I think this is about when they still don´t know much about you to like you so first impressions matter, if someone I don´t know very well would be pushy with messages, I would probably be taken back and would be hard to give them a real chance. Even if I understand this, I did make the mistake of messaging too much the wrong person or the wrong timing, I don´t worry about this too much with people that know me well though
@@DeRez19 just don't think much about having a "romantic relationship" with someone when you're trying to have a conversation with them.
Just be normal, genuine and act like a person who is trying to communicate with people. Eventually, they will tell you if they like you or not.
Forcing things out especially in the world of social media where everything is literally accessible is just ain't good.
@@roggiepogi211 oh yeah, like most women have ever actually tried approaching men or being straightforward...
The truth is that men initiate and women will not.
@@DeRez19 you will only initiate if the other person is showing some signs, same energy and interests. Intentional or not.
This is so relateable. People don't click at the end of the day. Just keep moving forward.
OH MY, I LOVE YOUR VOICE ITS SO CALMING
you are my favorite Psych2Go speaker! Such a calming voice helps me listen for longer! Thanks for all the tips over the course of these videos :)
Regarding the second point, one can make the effort to find interesting stuff to talk about and avoid the conversation to become monotone, but it becomes hard when you're the only one initiating and carrying the conversation
HOW DO U KEEP RECOMMEND ME VIDEOS THAT IS AT PERFECT TIMING WITH THE ISSUES I HAVE RN.
HOLY MOLY R U STALKING ME?!?!
Great video, and I love your voice! 😁
But your back is amazing wtf !! I need the routine 😭😭
This channel is so useful and relatable
Glad you find it helpful! What topics resonate with you the most, or is there anything specific you'd like to see more of?
Thanks for adding subtitles ❤
You're very welcome!
This video was extremely timely. I just texted some of my very old friends and was about to do a crush and then saw this video. Very well done.
So helpful!
Make more vids about texting, I really liked this one!
Glad to know I already started tackling those issues lately. I’m not perfect yet, sure, but it’s a great improve over before, hehe
Genuinely perfect timing
I love talking to my crush but recently I've felt a bit anxious whenever I text her. I only realize I'm overreacting when they seem happy to see me in person the next day😭
This is so on point 😤🙌🏽
00:15 Overwhelming with too many texts
1:32 Being too generic or boring
2:34 Misinterpreting tone or intent
Her voice is so peaceful and calm😊💖 I kinda zone out while listening 😅😂
Very reliable and so accurate
Ouh the timing of this video is a blessing😭
Glad it came at the right time for you! What part resonated with you the most?
This showed up at the perfect time 🙏
i needed this
just as i wanted right now
ASMR and great advice. What more could I ask for
Thank you :) did you relate to any of these signs?
Thanks for the advice. I will keep making these mistakes more often to remain single.
this is very serious video, but animation is sooooo funny. good job and thanks
Mistake n 3 here today
Perfect timing
This video came in such perfect timing-
Wow i must say i have done those mistake and thank you for this video
Thank you. I learned something. 😊
Solid advice! Being mindful of texting habits is key. Dr. Elizabeth Dorren Hall and Dr. Eli Finle's insights are spot-on. Thanks for breaking down the pitfalls and offering practical tips. Kudos!
Glad it was helpful!
Very useful!😊
I was literally texting just now and this video's notification popped up 😭
LOL we hope this video helped you. Did you relate to any of these points?
@Psych2go yes I have, this video helped a lot thanks 💯
I hate that this video is calling me out in all ways possible 😭
Great video and thanks for making ❤
I like how they point out that people that text like this don't have malicious intent they're usually just anxious
so good i like the topic
Thanks for the great advice and video! You guys are the best!
You're welcome! Glad you found this helpful :) What's something you found particularly valuable from the advice you received?
@@Psych2go It helped with reinforcing giving partner space/not texting too often and remembering to stay interesting/open ended. I come back and watch your relationship videos to remember good strategies for dating and remember how not to turn off my partner with certain behaviors. I kinda wish you guys were around when I was just entering the dating pool so I knew what to watch out for and improve my own self to better connect with partners.
I really need this video in my life 😢😊
Now I need the person to see THIS! 😭
Here my sorry ahh comes back again with more dating advice thinking I’m gonna get closer to getting somewhere when I’m definitely not 😂😂
I feel called out.
Though I probably need help with this, so thank you 😭
Aahhh, the voice is so relaxing 😂😂😂
Great video.
I work with texting like spice up food.
There are dishes you can only spice up one way to be delicious. There are dishes you can spice up with different things to be delicious.
But sometimes it doesnt work, maybe because you add too much or miss something.
The only way, to find the right spice is by doing and caring.
Because if you care about your food and you take your time to practice to do it right and good, nobody will not like your food - especially yourself.
PS:I hope my english is working somehow ^^
So helpful, thanks! I was making all these mistakes and wondering why things aren't working. 😅
Happy to help! :) We all learn and improve over time. What changes are you planning to make moving forward?
The little character typing on their phone is the cutest thing 😭💗
Thank you for sharing 🌹🌷🌺
You are so welcome
I'm old fashioned. A phone call when you're both free is always better.
Solution for first scenario: Dont freak out. The person maybe doing something else, work, eating, cleaning, relaxing, taking a nap etc... Over texting is a sign of lack confidence and neediness. Understand that person has a life also. My rule of thumb is, they go ghost cool. They will get back later, people are always on there phone. If they get back to the message before bed time or evening, that means they still like you. If they didnt hit you up that one evening, they probably fell asleep. Hopeful they will text in the morning explaining. If they do this, they like you back.
Scenario 2 that was giving was an excellent solution.
Scenario 3: Instead of texting the whole day. Actually call them over the phone or if you have their IG account send them a voice message. Mix it up a bit. This builds stronger connection than a text. Also it reduces the chances of misinterpreting things and tone are said in text.
I needed that first solution! I forget to give people the benefit of the doubt sometimes and really think about how they have their own commitments in life, things they need to prioritise first, especially if you two are only in early stages of talking…but the internet makes out a guy HAS to make you his number one from the very beginning and if he doesn’t chase you like a dog after a ball, then he’s not interested at all, which isn’t always the case. Perhaps there is some interest there, everyone shows it in different ways. So thank you for this reminder! 🙌🏻
Balance is the key 😉
I had to teach myself not to overdo the verbiage with electronic communication. Very sweetly done thank you.
This is the only time I won't make fun of this channel and will take notes 🤠👍
Ok I'm lying but still
Definitely had my experiences of texting to my crushes. One I texted too much. Other I typed her a message when we were exchanging messages one time. After that. She's never responded to me again. So I knew it had something to do with the message. Because I actually did assume. It was a little off the wall I'd say after looking back at it. Especially when you haven't really talked to them in 2 years roughly. You live and you learn from your mistakes. Now I get avoided in public. Not a good feeling not gonna lie. But If I didn't have an experience like that. I feel like I'd be still where I'm at with that. So now I'm just more cautious when I say something over a message.
I learned all of these by myself. And it was really, really, really, hard.
Excellent ❤
Glad you like it! Did you relate to any of these points?
I kind of text too much, but more or less I give random updates through out the day with out expecting a response. Part of it is because I have a lot of free time right now, so on days when I am super busy I am super silent. Hopefully it wont backfire when I get more busy that they wont think I hate them x.x
Text always appears to be a stage worse than it actually is. Aka neutral sounding text can come off as brash or annoyed. I always add fluff to my text with emoticons ^~^ or punctuation ‽ Because I am generally always a happy person and it shows that I am never angry over text.
My best advice is I never take anything at face value. I like to figure out how the person acts in different situations, including texting, and only start to confront them if something changes. As a very loose example, if a friend messaged me at the same time everyday for a month, but then one day didn't message I would probably message them and ask what they are up. I don't assume anything negative, just trying to understand the once a month thing that causes them to break the other habit. Then I remember that for next month. Repeat that a few hundred times until you know everything about the person in all situations!
Do you animate all your own videos? I'm an animator, just curious. I love the fuzzy comforting art style you've developed
The last one is something I really relate to sometimes, that’s why I like rephrasing things to sound friendlier or adding emojis so the person I’m texting doesn’t misinterpret my intention:)
Thanks
Thank you very much for the tip and now i won't do the same mistake i used to do
Thank you.
Wow, I didn't know that I was actually doing these. No wonder why my relationships are getting better.
Damn this video got recommended to me at the perfect time lol
I watched this while sipping on Pepsi. Very informative.
O my god, the girl on a tumbnail looks almost exactly like one of my original characters😂
I would recommend her to watch your videos, she needs it😂
Yes finally something I'm great at!! Hahaha
If you regret texts you're sending and are over analyzing, she ain't the one mate. Either get to know her better before trying to get romantic or drop it. Get comfortable before you get flirtatious. Unless you're trying to hookup, then you do you.
Why would trying to hook up change the circumstances?
@@MarloMaverickk ...because it's just sexual lmao. Once you're sure the other person is interested, just hook up and be done with it. Not much to think about 💀
@nikhilnarayanan5949 I also think that there's also the possibility the person texting might just have a general problem talking to new people on text that they've never met before prior, like on Tinder it feels weird to say "if you're over analyzing its because she's not the one"
If you have a shyness problem when talking to someone, get to know them better. How do you expect to date someone you aren't comfortable texting? Also with regards to the tinder example, I genuinely hope for your sake that you aren't looking for serious relationships there.
@nikhilnarayanan5949 Tinders tough because I'm not a very flirty type with random people so that might be more my problem. When it comes to shyness I'm only really crippled by approaching but once I get a conversation going I seem to do ok
I’m not particularly close to my crush, but we have a group chat for my year group, and I take every opportunity I can get to talk to them there.
Oh my god thank you, if I never found this vid I think I’d break my connection with my crush
I have to text in Spanish because my boyfriend doesn't speak any English at all. Sometimes I misspell words because google translate doesn't use slang. It's very interesting to have someone who doesn't care about the small stuff. I think it depends on the person and age because they can do the same thing that you just did.
Great Tips! Now I just need someone to text to, to practice :(