I'd differentiate it like this: - Cognitive empathy: ablility to recognize someones emotions and the ability to understand why someone is feeling a certain way - affective empathy: ability to feel someones emotion WITH them - sympathetic empathy: a mix of both cognitive and affective. You recognize the emotion and feel the need to help them out of negative emotions. You offer support because you understand and feel their emotions. I myself lack everything but cognitive empathy. I understand emotions and their causes, but never have felt someone elses emotions or have had the urge to actually console someone who is having a difficult time. I still try to help those people i like alot because i dont want to be seen as a bad person, but in truth i dont actually do it because i feel like it
I lack of everything. It’s difficult for me understand and feel emotions. When I see someone sad, angry or happy I need first to find out what is it, why and what should I do. It starts first as curiosity, then it is like a survival instinct. I always end up consoling the person or letting it be. If I think my words are gonna be useful for that person I do it, if that person is not open to listen others then I cannot help
Let me play out an “empathetic” situation. Hurt: I feel like I’m worthless! Not hurt: you seem upset. H: what?? I know, I’m the one feeling it? Let me play out a sympathetic situation. H: I feel worthless. N: that sucks. H: wow.. thanks. Let me play out a situation with both. H: I feel worthless. N: you seem really upset about this, but I went through something similar and so I’m able to relate, and I got through it too! I know you can do this! H: thank you so much! I’ve got this! This person’s definition of sympathy is quite odd. It seems like they’re just pitying them, and the way that they describe empathy. Stating facts can be very frustrating to the hurt person and make it worse.
I can relate, i dont want to get mopped on my face about the very situation i am in, though someone who relates and truly understands me can help, tips and advice help the most though. But a bit of understanding and company is always necessary, i dont want to get a lecture either
It's nice to see this happening very often in the comments of mental health videos. People discussing if given advice actually works in real life and how the real world's complexity should never be underestimated. I hope this encourages people to not stick to only one way of thinking.
I see its a year since your comment and I guess you were feeling confused and maybe wanting clarity in relation to empathy at the time? I am curious as to where your at now?
Some misinformation here. That’s not empathy, that’s paraphrasing. Therapists do it a lot. And while it can work to find another perfective on a bad situation, depending on the situation a person can feel more alone, or even enraged by paraphrasing since it often sounds incredibly removed and disingenuous. It’s important to evaluate the problem. If the problem is loneliness paraphrasing will push someone further away. That’s because paraphrasing is a tool in communicative mediation. To help someone you need to practice both empathy, the reflection of genuine emotion, and communicative toolsets like paraphrasing. However, if a person knows about paraphrasing the likelihood it will help decreases as a person may feel like you’re just using your toolset on them.
An empathetic person is actually more likely to do the former of this vid, they are going to respond in a more emotional way to the person in question. Because empathy is the literal emulation of the emotions of others within the brain - it is by definition emotional. The action they labelled as "empathetic" seems extremely cold and detached, it is the opposite of empathy. It actually seems very much like how a psychopath would handle the situation. That and if an empathetic person saw the other person in a literal pit they would not be talking about it, they would fetch a ladder.
It's not about pity, putting yourself in other shoes or carrying them through a difficult time. It's about active listening, understanding how the people feels and reflecting back to them to help themselves
When someone states the obvious to me, like “I can see you’re upset” it takes all my willpower not to be sarcastic with them. Like “Noooo whatever gave you that idea? I have such a big smile on my face right now!” I want guidance, not pity. What good does pity do other than dig you a deeper hole? I'm tired of it.
Yeah, it makes me feel worse if someone dispassionately says “I see you’re upset” or “Your feelings are valid” unless they’re a therapist. Then I feel like I have to convince them that my problems are real and important. Then, I’m too drained to try and solve them. I want the people who are close to me to say “That’s terrible! Of course you’re upset! You shouldn’t have to be in that pit!” That energizes me and inspires me to climb out.
@@BulbasaurLeaves Yes, exactly. I actually had this become relevant as of recently. I am having trouble with a teacher who is grading assignments wrong, and treats me like crap. Everyone just tries to validate how I feel about it, whereas my parents and best friend actually give me insight on the situation. They assure me I'm not the problem, and that she does deserve to be held accountable for what she's done. It is much better than just having that "Welp, it sucks, but you're kinda stuck so I'm just gonna tell you it's okay and leave."
Sounds like you need to mature even more. That doesn't help them help you. At least they reached out and made an effort. Even if it wasn't the response you wanted. Only thing you can change is your response to things and very rarely the situation itself.
@ I refuse to believe that I can never change the situation. If all someone is going to do is pity me, then they can leave me alone. When I complain, I’m not doing it to gain sympathy. I’m doing it to ask for advice or insight on the problem I’m facing. I see no point in complaining for validation, for it gets nothing done. If I want validation, I’ll get it from myself, not everyone else. For example, that teacher I am having trouble with. I swear and whine to myself, but I ask for advice from others. I hate it when people point out the obvious, because it feels like a waste of time. Can’t we just skip the “I can see you’re upset” part? Like I KNOW I’M UPSET, now get to the point. Your pity doesn’t get anything done.
8 дней назад
You lack empathy. In others eyes, you are a moron who can’t solve his problem. Why in the world should anyone assume you are smart?
I do believe the title is misleading, as there are situations that are truly hopeless where sympathy works better than empathy. Of course for most people those situation will most likely consist of things of low importance, but the distinction is important in an informative video such as this.
@@halahlo8046 While I wrote my initial comment with things like spilling tea on your shirt or messing up a minor task in mind, there are some severe examples where sympathy would work best. Terminal illnesses are one major and easy one right off the top of my head. The point of trying to help a person in such a situation should be to make them feel better, where sympathy excels. Another would be situations that are terrible now, but have an end date that the people in it are waiting and planning for. Anything ranging from bad traffic to people with abusive parents that aren't bad enough to warrant CPS and risk foster care. Do keep in mind that the plans and thoughts about what happens during/after that end date should be met with empathy instead, as it leads itself better to any criticism that may need to be given. But yes, empathy is overall better outside of such edge cases. Since you asked for examples of both a friend going through a breakup would be one where empathy works better, since your friend will need to reflect on what went wrong. Do keep in mind that I am not educated in pscyhology and my comment was made with the intent of going through the filter of someone who is.
@@halahlo8046If you find out your best friends husband is dying of terminal cancer I really don’t think you can nor should you try to fix that. That’s a good time for sympathy. The best you could do is help her make plans to preserve his memories or plan the funeral.
@ using sympathy tells them they’re meant to keep feeling the sadness they do. Empathy, with a little sympathy for a short period of time like said it the video, is used to guide them out of those emotions as being sad is a coping strategy, but not a life style.
This is really quite simple... Empathy= feeling someones feelings, whether you have experienced yourself is irrelevant, whether you do something to help is irrelevant. The point is simply that you have the ability to FEEL someone else's feeling (positive and negative feelings) Sympathy= feeling sorrow because someone is hurting, or in a difficult/painful situation. Regardless whether you help them or not or have been in a similar situation or not, you feel your own sadness for their pain. E.g I feel in my heart a pain (empathy) for my neighbour who has been evicted and is struggling to find a home, but i don't feel sorry (sympathy) for her as she probably shouldn't have broken all the windows and spray painted on the walls.
Kind of... in the case of empathy I might feel a bit of or a lot of what your going through...but it's not necessary... I could feel irritated that you got yourself into the same mess AGAIN (!) but still be conscious enough of what's doing on and to want to assist by simply using my recall or imagination to think myself into your situation (because I know that it will probs help you and perhaps even me to stop feeling so irritated...and therefore more able to apply my mind to your predicament
Sympathy doesnt always mean feeling sad and someone hurting is not always a part of the equation...Sympathy means to agree...Its the (feeling) you get right (before) you make a decision to join or provide help or assistance wherever you feel its needed or speak in favor of someone or something or align yourself in correspondence with someone or something...When a person place or thing that you sympathize with is hurt or in trouble it bothers you...Whether you intervene directly or not is another subject...
@@novelcoronaheads I'm sorry but sympathy does no means to agree.... "My friends Dad died in a car accident, I have so much sympathy for his family" does not translate to.... I have so much agreement for his family. Sympathy literally means to feel sorrow or distress, so "sad" may have been not quite the right word but the premise is the same... But then you basically repeated me 😊 "When a person is feeling hurt or in trouble it bothers you, whether you intervene directly or not is another subject"
@@paulfurey4122 maybe 🤔 I personally think that irritation is its own feeling irrelevant to empathy... You could have empathy for someone while being pissed off by them, you could have empathy for someone while feeling happy also (this is probably reserved for psychopaths tho😊)
That’s compassion… you help them get out of the pit, but they’ll never learn much from it. Giving them hope and the willpower to do it themselves will end up better for both of you.
@@FureyPaulEmpathy is for emotional losers who want to find good in all humans. Nope. Sorry! Humans are horrible people. Please tell me why I should be empathetic to a child molester?
You're earning barely enough to pay your most essential bills, working for people who are exploiting you and all your time to the absolute max, and who have literally billions of dollars to your every one... Figure your way to equality [*on your own]. The truth is that BOTH qualities are important. It's about how you EXPRESS (manifest) your sympathy and not about the fact that you shouldn't have any at all. Saying that one should haver no sympathy is a very shortsighted and overgeneralized perspective. (and there are many even much worse situations where one just can;t be given simple advice to pull themselves out.)
From what I understand, sympathy is being polite. For example, if your co-worker's dad has passed away, you would say, "My condolences". Doesn't necessarily mean you experienced the same thing. Another example is when your friend's house got burned you feel sorry for them. You sympathize. On the other hand, empathy is feeling the other person's feelings as if it's your own pain. It could be because you experienced the same thing or you are highly emotional being.
1:20 All good, except for "it's not your fault" belongs in empathy IMO, as that's constructive and allows someone to let go of the self-blame and become unstuck from established patterns.
To state that it’s not someone’s fault is to suggest that any blame needs to pointed at anyone at all… “we’ll if it’s not my fault then whose fault is it?!”
@@FureyPaul No... not everyone thinks in terms of fault. It can just be noones fault. Unless YOU make it about fault by telling someone that they are the one causing the problem. I mean what kind of person would hear 'It's not your fault' and immediately jump to 'Well, it has to be SOMEONE'S fault'? Like, no, that's a completely illogical assumption of you and quite hurtful if you use it against someone who's actually suffering.
The archaic (1960’s) definition of empathy is the vicarious feeling of another’s person’s emotions and pain. This is based on a false reality, i.e., that one can feel another’s pain and the empathetic person will often say or think they feel your pain but this is fortunately impossible. True sympathy and its cognate pity seek to alleviate the pain and sorrow of another’s pain without identifying with it. The replacement of the word sympathy with empathy in current usage is typical of the hypocritical element that has overtaken popular psychology. Why has an attack been made on the meaning of pity when it used to be considered an important element of one’s character. To be pitiless has always meant to be cruel and unfeeling.
The difference is between being “nice”, and being “kind”. Being “nice” focuses on validating emotions, while being “kind”, focuses on what is in the best interest of the other person, even if it doesn’t FEEL good.
Well, technically we can't say if sympathy is better or empathy coz it purely depends on the situation of a person, so we should show that behaviour which is appropriate for that particular situation... Coz it doesn't matters if we show sympathy or empathy or both.. coz whatever works, works...
Yeah but don't forget you should show understanding and compassion so they don't feel like they are in court on the accused bench. A reasonable amount of sympathy is not a bad thing, just shift the message into empathy after the person has vented, feels understood and that they are not alone in their struggle. Am I wrong?
Not quite right. There is nothing wrong in feeling pity for themselves when the situation is horrible. It is the right of the victim to feel sorry for themselves. That is why they are the victims. There is no really difference between sympathy or empathy. It is more or less the same. The right thing to do is to express empathy/sympathy, give help and encouragement. And I would say, the other side is obliged to give help and learn to feel with the person. Otherwise, go away.
No, when you sympathize with people who tell them you feel the same. When you empathize with people, you say you once felt the same and you got out of it, and so can you
It might be right but it's addictive, I've been through the same, the endless cycle of craving for pity, it's not a healthy one, I would have been better if people told me “You're overthinking, idiot. Go out and do something like meditation and then think about it"
Just to be clear: you can't feel someone else's feelings. You can only feel your own. Ever. Period. That said: Empathy = imaginative act, putting yourself in someone's else's shoes, and conjure up the feeling; how you feel is going to be probably similar to how they feel. Not the same, but probably similar. You imagine how they feel. It is entirely within your head, of course, so what you may actually be entirely differently from how they actually feel. But you go through the imaginative process. Sympathy = shared judgment. No imaginative act required or involved. I simply feel the same way about X as you do. We come to the same conclusion, however we get there. Empathy is a process, sympathy a conclusion. Empathy can yield sympathy. But not necessarily. e.g. if your mother dies, I imagine my mother dying, feel sadness; I conjure up that feeling in myself, and assume you must have the same feeling. That is empathy. But I may be wrong. Maybe your mother was an awful oppressive person and you're actually feeling delighted. So we don't come to the same conclusion - I feel sad, you feel elated. So I empathize, but I don't sympathize. We don't have the same judgment about your mother's passing. But tying it to the video, empathy is more functionally important. I am not merely agreeing with your grief, I am imagining your grief. But I am not actually grieved. That is, I can imagine your grief, I can conjure up feelings of grief in myself, but I am not actually burdened by grief, and so have a clearer head and can help you get out of it. I am more apt to help you, as I wish someone would have helped me if I was in your situation (imaginative act again). But I have the advantage that I am not actually in that situation, so I am not emotionally burdened by fears or fog of confusion, and more capable of seeing and guiding your way out. Sympathy is just agreement. Agreement doesn't imply anything. Empathy is an imaginative act. And action too requires imagination.
I'm autistic so empathy really doesn't always come easy,and I can often get led into all kinds of trouble by following my heart/sympathy! Kinda why I'm here lol
I find your predicament relatable, and being in that situation must be tough, confusing, and full of challenges. Viola, that is an example of empathy - remember how it makes you feel and how it was done.
(well done). Yup. You'll have to find workarounds and get good at looking for clues since you don't have the luxury of the emotional connection of dots that comes easy to some of the rest of us. When I can't tell how someone is feeling i tell them just that: "I'm trying to figure out how you're feeling about this... I suspect it's not great but I can't actually tell..."
"Human beings are members of a whole; In creation of one essence and soul; If one member is afflicted with pain; Other members uneasy will remain; If you have no sympathy for human pain; The name of human you cannot retain." Saadi Shirazi
My hand doesn’t suffer because I stubbed my toe nor do I lose vision, because my nose is stuffed. As above so below. Empathy is fear function it is something activated in the basal ganglia in a response to potential unpleasant and or threatening events or stimuli. For example if I see someone chop off his finger while using a particularly sharp knife I might feel a hollow or sinking sensation in my gut, cold sweats, and/ or accompanied by sudden flushing itchiness, and a racing heart. I do not mistake this for the other persons experience there pain is there own it doesn’t effect me. The body was merely attaching the memory of the event with a painful experience because that will be easily recalled if I ever use the knife. Most everybody has this form of empathy hard wired in there brain and attach it to a learned and cognitive empathy which is what a psychopath has to rely thus development of it is prioritized in the brain for survival. Because a psychopath generally lacks the fully functional inhibitory pathways in the brain having to do with fear reaction and reward or relief. Normies therefore lack empathy and a backbone and are deluded and irrational.
I remember reading a book years ago the difference between Sympathy and Empathy. While both terms relate to understanding someone else's emotions, "sympathy" means feeling sorry for someone's situation, essentially just acknowledging their pain, while "empathy" means actively sharing and experiencing another person's emotions as if they were your own, requiring a deeper level of understanding and perspective-taking; essentially "feeling with" someone, not just "feeling for" them. If you want a real Biblical example from a Catholic Perspective, think of the difference between Zechariah and Mary. In the Bible, Zechariah and Mary differ in their responses to the angel Gabriel and in their roles - Responses to the angel Gabriel. Zechariah: Questioned God's word and focused on obstacles, which led to him being made mute until the prophecy came true Mary: Responded with awe and faith, asking how the birth would happen I hope this helps. Mary, Mother of God, pray for us. The Immaculate Heart of Mary will Triumph.
Nope. ‘Oh I can see you are hurt about this..’. Ew. Sounds like what I heard in nursing school. You have to open your heart. It takes courage and honesty, including facing the fact that not all human ills can be fixed or changed by anyone, including the sufferer.
To Me, The Real Reason For Sadness (Or Despair They Like To Say Here) Should Be Considered First, And Efforts Should Be Made To Overcome That Reason. Persons Can Overcome Their Difficulties, But Their Core Reason For Sadness Must Be Recognized At First And Dealt With Honesty Up To The Level Someone Can Personally And Selflessly Afford.
From what I understand empathy is to feel that person while sympathy is to feel sorry for them (this definition is not the 100% of how I see it, it's like a simpler version)
I always thought that sympathy was being able to feel and understand the other person feelings based on the situation. while sympathy was feeling bad for them, without necessarily understanding how they feel (or maybe the don't feel bad, but you feel bad for them anyway)
People mostly don't see the depth of the problem some people are in and are only looking for temporary solutions for them. Sure temporary solution are ok, But people have to understand life will always not be easy and sugar coated words won't work all the time. In the name of solution for a single problem you should check you are not creating more problems. Every human being will not respond the same for all situations. What works for one will not have the same effect on the other.
When you have too much emotions you need empathy. To start solving the problem. When you have too much rationality you need sympathy. To start seeing the problem.
I think crying is our purest form of empathy. Boys are taught not to cry, so we stop doing it. We're told to stop crying about our own pain and the pain of others, often animals, when we're little. So we eventually stop crying about the pain of others unless they die. We are taught to bury our empathy.
"Stop being so sensitive" yeah, I guess we'll just stop being emotionally motivated to masculine things like protect and serve the people around us. We'll just have to start doing things for our own benefit instead of doing acts out of bravery and passion. Plenty of high performance Athletes are extremely emotional people. I wonder how they managed to get to the top by being apathetic and cold all the time. Having innate and intense feelings of responsibility to their teams and present/previous coaching staff might have had something to do with it but I guess breaking down in tears in the locker room while you tell everyone how much you love them all isn't manly and mature behavior. From tears of compassion, reckoning, justice, and loyalty are born. Those are emotions that drive what we consider to be ethical.
@@junehansen9749 I Don't think you quite get what affective empathy is or sympathy for that matter. They're not singular emotions, they are an entire complex of emotions and despair is most definitely not excluded from empathetic and sympathetic response. That's like saying "that's not fear, that's just anxiety" as if fear didn't cover and build off of a wide range of more simple emotions. Empathy is an umbrella term and a system built on systems and the whole debate between what empathy is and what it isn't is fruitless considering a large portion of the population are unaware that they don't even experience it. Things like empathy are where empirical science starts to leave off and other conceptual expressions step in.
We really gonna say people will have one of two responses, and just disregard the massive amounts of people who will have neither sympathy nor empathy for you
You can only feel empathy when youve experienced somethimg, and sympathy is an admittance of there being an individual wronged. You need both in order to be a comforting light.
I really wouldn’t recommend using the line “I can see you’re upset.” unless you’re a school teacher for toddlers or a therapist. Sympathy is appropriate if you’re reading a news article about a random stranger you’ll never meet. Empathy is better reserved for people you are speaking face to face with
Simple wisdom but I get in situations like this and I think I yield to the impulse to help them with my own ideas rather than the Holy Spirit asking and discerning where they are at and then bring a heart of empathy. Just want to fix them.
This video really helped understand empathy. It took a while for it to click but I talk my journey to be empathetic on my RUclips channel. I’m not there yet but I have a long way to go
I'm spellbound by this. I read a book with similar content, and I was absolutely spellbound. "The Art of Meaningful Relationships in the 21st Century" by Leo Flint
I can tell you that. If you have low sympathy you just dont give a care of others if you dont know them quite well. If you see an article that people die from a terrorist attack normal people sympathise with the victims. If you have no sympathy you dont care about the victims and the aftermath as long as it doesnt involve you or close people to you
I feel like both can be interpreted as bad, and it depends on the situation and the person. Saying "things will get better" implies that the other person didn't figure out a solution yet, which is very anoying to hear when you see a clear picture already. Me personally I would rather have someone acknowledge my pain in a quick way or offer a solution, rather than trying to consolidate me with the vague "things will get better" talk
empathy: i understand what you feel sympathy: i feel bad for you empathy without sympathy: i see where you're coming from but i don't feel bad for you apathy (lack of empathy): i don't care + who asked
Yes you’re right. I guess, in this case it’s because those are the ones that people find the most difficult to handle. I do get your point though… it’s really important to pay attention to positive feelings in others as well… such as when they have a success and are trying to share it with us. It can be demoralising when someone doesn’t ‘get’ just how pleased/relieved/proud we are and why.
Isn't empathy's in that case just sympathy wirh extra steps? How I understood is that sympathy is just agreeing with someone's shortcomings, but empathy is agreeing but also giving them advice on how it could be solved rather then just accepting it as it is.
sympathy is a facade. Empathy is the capacity to simulate yourself being in the position of another, the more empathetic you are the higher the accuracy of the simulation. (And as any tool it can be used maliciously)
Because its misleading...empathy loves company like misery...Sympathy is what leads to a solution...Empathy breeds pride in bad things...If you fall and break a leg...Sympathy leads one to help out without knowing how it happened...Empathy may lead one to say been there done that...
@@novelcoronaheads quite the reverse my friend. Everything you said there is the problem with sympathy. Thanks for contributing to the conversation though 😀
From my perspective, pity and sympathy are kind of synonymous. Pitying someone reinforces the belief and identity with a victim complex, but in the long run, people need to take responsibility for themselves and their life choices, even when "bad things happen to them". I'd argue it's easy for teenagers to beat the drum of being a victim, because you're in a stage of life where you have some authority that's developmentally appropriate, but you do not have the maturity to handle all authority over your own life just because you have a menstrual cycle and a driver's license. The degree to which you can take responsibility for your choices, you can have freedom. The problem is, lots of parents don't do this in balance, so you either end up with freedom or responsibility that's developmentally inappropriate. This imbalance can lead to feeling like things just "happen to you" outside of your influence. When you hit your 20s, the victim mentality stops being a crux of your identity, because you begin to understand what your choices lead to in life. This leads to a drop in wishing to be reinforced as a victim and a profound desire for emotional understanding as a person, which allows us to be fully seen.
This is not what sympathy or empathy means. These are emotions not the words you use. It is about the intention behind the words not how the other person responses to them. When people say ''i'm sorry, that sucks.'' with sympathy they do not care about helping you, it is pity. They might even be saying it just to make you stop talking. When someone says the same sentence with empathy, they are trying to connect and make you feel seen. Might not be the most affect sentence, but the intention is different. Then it is up to the upset person to respond. If the relationship is strong and they truly know you care it will be more affective, if it feels fake it will make the person feel more worthless. Tone of voice, relationship history, location, body language etc. If you give out love the person will feel loved. The words ''i hate you.'' can be said a loving undertone, and the words ''i love you.'' can be said with hatred.
Empathy was invented as a concept a hundred years ago. We were a more logical society before it was pushed over sympathy. It's about emotion whereas sympathy cares more about the facts. This isn't just my opinion; there have been in depth analyses about this.
When i was young my dad minimized. Just about any problem i may of been going through you know some one else always has it worse I think maybe that's were i first began to be empathetic to feel others pain because of what he said last 5years i guit listening to thst tape in head minimizing my emotions im just as important an good as any one else ill tell you one thing most of tgese tarto readersdont have a inch of empathy or sympathy. The things
Me: Fell in a ditch Friend 1: Wow. Sucks to be you, I guess. Friend 2: Now my misery seem small by comparison! Thanks! Friend 3: Leave him, he's worthless now. Hey, Friend 1 and 2 wanna go grab something to eat?
And here I thought that: Empathy was ACTUALLY FEELING what another was feeling, both good or bad feelings. Often times, with the latter, it leads one wanting to lessen the bad feelings in another in some way (because you are hurting along with them). While sympathy is about UNDERSTANDING their feelings or situation, and why another may be hurting. IF there is any motivation to help the hurt person out, it's more likely from an intellectual or compassionate point of view. Silly me!
Not silly at all. You had both concepts perfectly - just with labels swapped! It really doesn't matter what we call them, it only matters when and why we do them.
Empathy-Well I came from a poor family too and im successful now...Those people are just lazy...Thats why they are still poor...Sympathy-Well I dont know everything about their situation but if its any way I can help out let me know...I wont assume I understand their situation...
@@ATLIEN333 Are you feeling well today...If so then maybe you should revise empathy vs sympathy again for yourself...Me personally I prefer sympathy from others...Empaths are manipulative people from my experience...
"Empathy-Well I came from a poor family too and im successful now...Those people are just lazy...Thats why they are still poor.." That's not empathy. That's judgmental assumption but empathy is actually non-judgmental. What you said is "your perspective" and not "their perspective". What you are doing is simply asserting your position, opposite from empathy in everyway. You understand that they are poor from your perspective but you do not understand why they are poor from their perspective. If you are going to empathize with them, you will have to show what they think e.g. "they feel that it's almost impossible to be rich" or "they don't feel confident in pursuing success", etc. Your statement doesn't contain their thought at all, it's just your thought so it's not empathy. And most importantly, you can't know what they actually think unless you ask them.
The constant redefinition and retardation of these two words irritates me more than it should. How i understand it is simple. Sympathy is emotional mirroring, meaning you are reacting to someone as impulse and that bounce of is often not reassuring, An example of this is seeing a girl crying and then crying with her on the same thing. Empathy is not just giving them the solution but emotionally guiding them to it through framing it in a manner that feels most clear to the person it is being relayed to, For instance, a guy who hates being a burden is in misery and a woman in a state of deep frustration are both harrowing and damaging to both of their psyches... But the empathic response is not to simply tell them "you know how they feel" but show it through how you frame it, when they see how much your framing relates and connects to their own struggles, they actually begin to feel their trust build as you give your judgement and solutions to them. Effectively, empathy is not just sharing that you know, but sharing exactly how you know and how willing you are to stand alongside them to in their struggle. It's hard, which is why people prefer to obfuscate it because they want to feel better while effective refusing to exercise such burden.
Video: The way you show empathy is acknowledging people have emotion Mentally unwell person: I don’t think I can keep on living The advice from this video: I can see that you want to unlive yourself Mentally unwell person: that’s literally what I just said. A normal human being: “can we talk this out I know your in a tough spot right now but I’m your friend and I’ll help you get out of this” This video: “BAD BAD NO NO”
sympathy = you acknowledge the pain and you might offer help empathy = you feel the pain and you're likely to offer help apathy = didn't ask + don't care sociopath = you acknowledge the pain and you're happy that they're suffering
Being a sociopath doesn’t mean you like people suffering, that’s called a sadist. Sociopath/Antisocial personality disorder are people who feel little to no empathy/sympathy towards others, they will harm others if it can benefits themselves.
I think this is a misinterpretation..... sympathy is THINKING you know how someone else feels because you yourself feel bad seeing them. So you become tactless and add onto the other's despair. Not helping. Empathy is already, actually, knowing how that person feels, but you are already moved on from those bad experiences, so you have hindsight and can better understand their feelings and therefore offer real consolation, real help. You are missing half of the definition.
No. Sympathy is feeling responsible of their feelings, thinking that you HAVE to solve their problem. Empathy is BEING there with them, offering your presence and understanding.
Sympathy is when you feel the need to help a person or thing in distress or you are in a state of agreement..Empathy is thinking you understand everything about why and how someone feels but not necessarily willing to help...Empathy might even make one less inclined to help others...
Your definition of empathy is still wrong. You don't need any hindsight or even similar experiences in your life to empathize with someone at all. Empathy is not about thinking that you know how someone feels just because you have similar life experiences. Thinking that you know how they feel is always a bad assumption to have because everyone has different feelings even on the same experience. Empathy is about being curious to truly understand what someone actually feels and demonstrate it by vocalizing their feeling out loud. It's a loop of asking questions, demonstrating your understanding, and letting them correct you, until you truly understand the nuance.
You see, empathy is a difficult subject. Even people get definitions wrong all the time, no wonder why empathy is a rare skill. There are 2 components to empathy: 1. perspective taking: see the world through someone's eyes 2. non-judgemental expression: tell them how the world looks like through their eyes as accurate and neutral as you can, without judgment Most people think they can do 1 but completely neglect 2. By neglecting 2, it cause them to do 1 poorly also because you can't understand someone more if you don't express your understanding and let them correct you.
I understand empathy as being able to imagine oneself in another person's shoes, sympathy is looking at another person in those shoes and thinking "oh that must be terrible, poor you." I think a good example is probably gender. I think people, generally, empathize best with their own gender, but less so with the opposite gender. It's a problem in gender politics (when discussing issues like feminism or men's rights), heterosexual dating, etc. I can honestly admit, as a woman, I have a hard time empathising with men on many issues, whereas other men can. Men often can't empathise with women, I'd argue they're even less able to do it than vice versa.
This is a very biased description of both sympathy and empathy. Sympathy is understanding someone else's pain, empathy is feeling someone else's pain, so in that light, you almost got it backwards. Furthermore sympathy keeps us from falling into the pit with someone else, whereas empathy puts us right there with them. You can do better to get your actual point across without using fallacy to bash people with low empathy, but high sympathy.
I'd differentiate it like this:
- Cognitive empathy: ablility to recognize someones emotions and the ability to understand why someone is feeling a certain way
- affective empathy: ability to feel someones emotion WITH them
- sympathetic empathy: a mix of both cognitive and affective. You recognize the emotion and feel the need to help them out of negative emotions. You offer support because you understand and feel their emotions.
I myself lack everything but cognitive empathy. I understand emotions and their causes, but never have felt someone elses emotions or have had the urge to actually console someone who is having a difficult time. I still try to help those people i like alot because i dont want to be seen as a bad person, but in truth i dont actually do it because i feel like it
Hey, atleast you do help others... You're a good person.
I lack of everything. It’s difficult for me understand and feel emotions. When I see someone sad, angry or happy I need first to find out what is it, why and what should I do. It starts first as curiosity, then it is like a survival instinct. I always end up consoling the person or letting it be. If I think my words are gonna be useful for that person I do it, if that person is not open to listen others then I cannot help
U r Neuro atypical, welcome to the club
@@luckyluca4720 sympathy/empathy moment
You might be a psych,opath
Let me play out an “empathetic” situation.
Hurt: I feel like I’m worthless!
Not hurt: you seem upset.
H: what?? I know, I’m the one feeling it?
Let me play out a sympathetic situation.
H: I feel worthless.
N: that sucks.
H: wow.. thanks.
Let me play out a situation with both.
H: I feel worthless.
N: you seem really upset about this, but I went through something similar and so I’m able to relate, and I got through it too! I know you can do this!
H: thank you so much! I’ve got this!
This person’s definition of sympathy is quite odd. It seems like they’re just pitying them, and the way that they describe empathy. Stating facts can be very frustrating to the hurt person and make it worse.
I can relate, i dont want to get mopped on my face about the very situation i am in, though someone who relates and truly understands me can help, tips and advice help the most though. But a bit of understanding and company is always necessary, i dont want to get a lecture either
Or the hurt just says
H: This isn't about you!
It's nice to see this happening very often in the comments of mental health videos. People discussing if given advice actually works in real life and how the real world's complexity should never be underestimated.
I hope this encourages people to not stick to only one way of thinking.
@AlexChampion-n3l there's more answer than these options because it's Based on their Own Emotional, feelings and Personality tho
Well. Your definition is stupid
Why must everyone have a different definition and explanation for each of these?
@@brandonyafanaro9710 I thought it was the opposite! ruclips.net/video/L9lZOxnItCM/видео.html
This is really confusing lol
I see its a year since your comment and I guess you were feeling confused and maybe wanting clarity in relation to empathy at the time? I am curious as to where your at now?
Because there is a clear difference in definition of each of these terms lol. They’re way different
@@buildingemotionalintelligence haha good bit of empathy there!
@@brandonyafanaro9710 Like no yeah Empathy is about Feeling someones else’s Emotions,while sympathy is understanding someones emotions
Some misinformation here. That’s not empathy, that’s paraphrasing. Therapists do it a lot. And while it can work to find another perfective on a bad situation, depending on the situation a person can feel more alone, or even enraged by paraphrasing since it often sounds incredibly removed and disingenuous.
It’s important to evaluate the problem. If the problem is loneliness paraphrasing will push someone further away. That’s because paraphrasing is a tool in communicative mediation. To help someone you need to practice both empathy, the reflection of genuine emotion, and communicative toolsets like paraphrasing. However, if a person knows about paraphrasing the likelihood it will help decreases as a person may feel like you’re just using your toolset on them.
An empathetic person is actually more likely to do the former of this vid, they are going to respond in a more emotional way to the person in question. Because empathy is the literal emulation of the emotions of others within the brain - it is by definition emotional.
The action they labelled as "empathetic" seems extremely cold and detached, it is the opposite of empathy. It actually seems very much like how a psychopath would handle the situation.
That and if an empathetic person saw the other person in a literal pit they would not be talking about it, they would fetch a ladder.
It's not about pity, putting yourself in other shoes or carrying them through a difficult time. It's about active listening, understanding how the people feels and reflecting back to them to help themselves
When someone states the obvious to me, like “I can see you’re upset” it takes all my willpower not to be sarcastic with them.
Like “Noooo whatever gave you that idea? I have such a big smile on my face right now!”
I want guidance, not pity. What good does pity do other than dig you a deeper hole? I'm tired of it.
Yeah, it makes me feel worse if someone dispassionately says “I see you’re upset” or “Your feelings are valid” unless they’re a therapist. Then I feel like I have to convince them that my problems are real and important. Then, I’m too drained to try and solve them.
I want the people who are close to me to say “That’s terrible! Of course you’re upset! You shouldn’t have to be in that pit!” That energizes me and inspires me to climb out.
@@BulbasaurLeaves Yes, exactly. I actually had this become relevant as of recently. I am having trouble with a teacher who is grading assignments wrong, and treats me like crap. Everyone just tries to validate how I feel about it, whereas my parents and best friend actually give me insight on the situation. They assure me I'm not the problem, and that she does deserve to be held accountable for what she's done. It is much better than just having that "Welp, it sucks, but you're kinda stuck so I'm just gonna tell you it's okay and leave."
Sounds like you need to mature even more. That doesn't help them help you. At least they reached out and made an effort. Even if it wasn't the response you wanted. Only thing you can change is your response to things and very rarely the situation itself.
@ I refuse to believe that I can never change the situation. If all someone is going to do is pity me, then they can leave me alone. When I complain, I’m not doing it to gain sympathy. I’m doing it to ask for advice or insight on the problem I’m facing. I see no point in complaining for validation, for it gets nothing done. If I want validation, I’ll get it from myself, not everyone else. For example, that teacher I am having trouble with. I swear and whine to myself, but I ask for advice from others.
I hate it when people point out the obvious, because it feels like a waste of time. Can’t we just skip the “I can see you’re upset” part? Like I KNOW I’M UPSET, now get to the point. Your pity doesn’t get anything done.
You lack empathy.
In others eyes, you are a moron who can’t solve his problem.
Why in the world should anyone assume you are smart?
I do believe the title is misleading, as there are situations that are truly hopeless where sympathy works better than empathy. Of course for most people those situation will most likely consist of things of low importance, but the distinction is important in an informative video such as this.
Could you give some examples of when sympathy or empathy is best for a situation?
@@halahlo8046 While I wrote my initial comment with things like spilling tea on your shirt or messing up a minor task in mind, there are some severe examples where sympathy would work best.
Terminal illnesses are one major and easy one right off the top of my head. The point of trying to help a person in such a situation should be to make them feel better, where sympathy excels.
Another would be situations that are terrible now, but have an end date that the people in it are waiting and planning for. Anything ranging from bad traffic to people with abusive parents that aren't bad enough to warrant CPS and risk foster care. Do keep in mind that the plans and thoughts about what happens during/after that end date should be met with empathy instead, as it leads itself better to any criticism that may need to be given.
But yes, empathy is overall better outside of such edge cases. Since you asked for examples of both a friend going through a breakup would be one where empathy works better, since your friend will need to reflect on what went wrong.
Do keep in mind that I am not educated in pscyhology and my comment was made with the intent of going through the filter of someone who is.
@@halahlo8046If you find out your best friends husband is dying of terminal cancer I really don’t think you can nor should you try to fix that. That’s a good time for sympathy. The best you could do is help her make plans to preserve his memories or plan the funeral.
@@halahlo8046
When someone is unalived you can’t help so I guess sympathy is better
@ using sympathy tells them they’re meant to keep feeling the sadness they do. Empathy, with a little sympathy for a short period of time like said it the video, is used to guide them out of those emotions as being sad is a coping strategy, but not a life style.
This is really quite simple... Empathy= feeling someones feelings, whether you have experienced yourself is irrelevant, whether you do something to help is irrelevant. The point is simply that you have the ability to FEEL someone else's feeling (positive and negative feelings)
Sympathy= feeling sorrow because someone is hurting, or in a difficult/painful situation. Regardless whether you help them or not or have been in a similar situation or not, you feel your own sadness for their pain.
E.g I feel in my heart a pain (empathy) for my neighbour who has been evicted and is struggling to find a home, but i don't feel sorry (sympathy) for her as she probably shouldn't have broken all the windows and spray painted on the walls.
Kind of... in the case of empathy I might feel a bit of or a lot of what your going through...but it's not necessary... I could feel irritated that you got yourself into the same mess AGAIN (!) but still be conscious enough of what's doing on and to want to assist by simply using my recall or imagination to think myself into your situation (because I know that it will probs help you and perhaps even me to stop feeling so irritated...and therefore more able to apply my mind to your predicament
Sympathy doesnt always mean feeling sad and someone hurting is not always a part of the equation...Sympathy means to agree...Its the (feeling) you get right (before) you make a decision to join or provide help or assistance wherever you feel its needed or speak in favor of someone or something or align yourself in correspondence with someone or something...When a person place or thing that you sympathize with is hurt or in trouble it bothers you...Whether you intervene directly or not is another subject...
@@novelcoronaheads I'm sorry but sympathy does no means to agree....
"My friends Dad died in a car accident, I have so much sympathy for his family" does not translate to.... I have so much agreement for his family. Sympathy literally means to feel sorrow or distress, so "sad" may have been not quite the right word but the premise is the same...
But then you basically repeated me 😊
"When a person is feeling hurt or in trouble it bothers you, whether you intervene directly or not is another subject"
@@paulfurey4122 maybe 🤔 I personally think that irritation is its own feeling irrelevant to empathy... You could have empathy for someone while being pissed off by them, you could have empathy for someone while feeling happy also (this is probably reserved for psychopaths tho😊)
Yes and this video poorly explains that. Also there's apathy where you don't care at all
I always thought empathy was really feeling a person’s hurt while sympathy was acknowledging it.
That is the gist of it yes
That’s really only cognitive empathy. True empathy is when you grab some gear, climb down into the pit of despair, and offer to help them get out
Nope - that’s just rescue… in life or death physical situations that is obvs the right thing to do…
That’s compassion… you help them get out of the pit, but they’ll never learn much from it. Giving them hope and the willpower to do it themselves will end up better for both of you.
@@FureyPaulEmpathy is for emotional losers who want to find good in all humans. Nope. Sorry! Humans are horrible people. Please tell me why I should be empathetic to a child molester?
You're earning barely enough to pay your most essential bills, working for people who are exploiting you and all your time to the absolute max, and who have literally billions of dollars to your every one...
Figure your way to equality [*on your own].
The truth is that BOTH qualities are important. It's about how you EXPRESS (manifest) your sympathy and not about the fact that you shouldn't have any at all. Saying that one should haver no sympathy is a very shortsighted and overgeneralized perspective.
(and there are many even much worse situations where one just can;t be given simple advice to pull themselves out.)
Very well said!
I just differentiated it by sympathy being more passive, and empathy being more active, as you're trying to provide a solution
2:30 only empathy has the power to get someone up and running again
From what I understand, sympathy is being polite. For example, if your co-worker's dad has passed away, you would say, "My condolences". Doesn't necessarily mean you experienced the same thing. Another example is when your friend's house got burned you feel sorry for them. You sympathize. On the other hand, empathy is feeling the other person's feelings as if it's your own pain. It could be because you experienced the same thing or you are highly emotional being.
1:20 All good, except for "it's not your fault" belongs in empathy IMO, as that's constructive and allows someone to let go of the self-blame and become unstuck from established patterns.
To state that it’s not someone’s fault is to suggest that any blame needs to pointed at anyone at all… “we’ll if it’s not my fault then whose fault is it?!”
@@thisguyhere1 yes sounds very sensible
What if it is truly their fault
@@FureyPaul No... not everyone thinks in terms of fault. It can just be noones fault. Unless YOU make it about fault by telling someone that they are the one causing the problem. I mean what kind of person would hear 'It's not your fault' and immediately jump to 'Well, it has to be SOMEONE'S fault'? Like, no, that's a completely illogical assumption of you and quite hurtful if you use it against someone who's actually suffering.
The archaic (1960’s) definition of empathy is the vicarious feeling of another’s person’s emotions and pain. This is based on a false reality, i.e., that one can feel another’s pain and the empathetic person will often say or think they feel your pain but this is fortunately impossible. True sympathy and its cognate pity seek to alleviate the pain and sorrow of another’s pain without identifying with it. The replacement of the word sympathy with empathy in current usage is typical of the hypocritical element that has overtaken popular psychology. Why has an attack been made on the meaning of pity when it used to be considered an important element of one’s character. To be pitiless has always meant to be cruel and unfeeling.
The difference is between being “nice”, and being “kind”. Being “nice” focuses on validating emotions, while being “kind”, focuses on what is in the best interest of the other person, even if it doesn’t FEEL good.
Well, technically we can't say if sympathy is better or empathy coz it purely depends on the situation of a person, so we should show that behaviour which is appropriate for that particular situation... Coz it doesn't matters if we show sympathy or empathy or both.. coz whatever works, works...
My view on these kind of topics is empathy= to feel others emotionally
Sympathy = is when you experienced same pain there at before
0:37 and apathy, and jugment, and pragmatic sugestions
Yeah but don't forget you should show understanding and compassion so they don't feel like they are in court on the accused bench. A reasonable amount of sympathy is not a bad thing, just shift the message into empathy after the person has vented, feels understood and that they are not alone in their struggle. Am I wrong?
Empathy leads to correct action regarding others ... whereas sympathy often does NO such thing.
Not quite right. There is nothing wrong in feeling pity for themselves when the situation is horrible. It is the right of the victim to feel sorry for themselves. That is why they are the victims. There is no really difference between sympathy or empathy. It is more or less the same. The right thing to do is to express empathy/sympathy, give help and encouragement. And I would say, the other side is obliged to give help and learn to feel with the person. Otherwise, go away.
No, when you sympathize with people who tell them you feel the same. When you empathize with people, you say you once felt the same and you got out of it, and so can you
It might be right but it's addictive, I've been through the same, the endless cycle of craving for pity, it's not a healthy one, I would have been better if people told me “You're overthinking, idiot. Go out and do something like meditation and then think about it"
Just to be clear: you can't feel someone else's feelings. You can only feel your own. Ever. Period. That said:
Empathy = imaginative act, putting yourself in someone's else's shoes, and conjure up the feeling; how you feel is going to be probably similar to how they feel. Not the same, but probably similar. You imagine how they feel. It is entirely within your head, of course, so what you may actually be entirely differently from how they actually feel. But you go through the imaginative process.
Sympathy = shared judgment. No imaginative act required or involved. I simply feel the same way about X as you do. We come to the same conclusion, however we get there.
Empathy is a process, sympathy a conclusion. Empathy can yield sympathy. But not necessarily.
e.g. if your mother dies, I imagine my mother dying, feel sadness; I conjure up that feeling in myself, and assume you must have the same feeling. That is empathy.
But I may be wrong. Maybe your mother was an awful oppressive person and you're actually feeling delighted. So we don't come to the same conclusion - I feel sad, you feel elated. So I empathize, but I don't sympathize. We don't have the same judgment about your mother's passing.
But tying it to the video, empathy is more functionally important. I am not merely agreeing with your grief, I am imagining your grief. But I am not actually grieved. That is, I can imagine your grief, I can conjure up feelings of grief in myself, but I am not actually burdened by grief, and so have a clearer head and can help you get out of it. I am more apt to help you, as I wish someone would have helped me if I was in your situation (imaginative act again). But I have the advantage that I am not actually in that situation, so I am not emotionally burdened by fears or fog of confusion, and more capable of seeing and guiding your way out.
Sympathy is just agreement. Agreement doesn't imply anything.
Empathy is an imaginative act. And action too requires imagination.
You explain interesting take.
I'm autistic so empathy really doesn't always come easy,and I can often get led into all kinds of trouble by following my heart/sympathy! Kinda why I'm here lol
I would say don't worry but that's going to be a problem for the rest of your life lol.
I find your predicament relatable, and being in that situation must be tough, confusing, and full of challenges. Viola, that is an example of empathy - remember how it makes you feel and how it was done.
Dude same. I’m autistic as well and I have no damn clue what the difference is
(well done). Yup. You'll have to find workarounds and get good at looking for clues since you don't have the luxury of the emotional connection of dots that comes easy to some of the rest of us. When I can't tell how someone is feeling i tell them just that: "I'm trying to figure out how you're feeling about this... I suspect it's not great but I can't actually tell..."
"Human beings are members of a whole; In creation of one essence and soul; If one member is afflicted with pain; Other members uneasy will remain; If you have no sympathy for human pain; The name of human you cannot retain."
Saadi Shirazi
My hand doesn’t suffer because I stubbed my toe nor do I lose vision, because my nose is stuffed. As above so below. Empathy is fear function it is something activated in the basal ganglia in a response to potential unpleasant and or threatening events or stimuli. For example if I see someone chop off his finger while using a particularly sharp knife I might feel a hollow or sinking sensation in my gut, cold sweats, and/ or accompanied by sudden flushing itchiness, and a racing heart. I do not mistake this for the other persons experience there pain is there own it doesn’t effect me. The body was merely attaching the memory of the event with a painful experience because that will be easily recalled if I ever use the knife. Most everybody has this form of empathy hard wired in there brain and attach it to a learned and cognitive empathy which is what a psychopath has to rely thus development of it is prioritized in the brain for survival. Because a psychopath generally lacks the fully functional inhibitory pathways in the brain having to do with fear reaction and reward or relief. Normies therefore lack empathy and a backbone and are deluded and irrational.
I remember reading a book years ago the difference between Sympathy and Empathy. While both terms relate to understanding someone else's emotions, "sympathy" means feeling sorry for someone's situation, essentially just acknowledging their pain, while "empathy" means actively sharing and experiencing another person's emotions as if they were your own, requiring a deeper level of understanding and perspective-taking; essentially "feeling with" someone, not just "feeling for" them.
If you want a real Biblical example from a Catholic Perspective, think of the difference between Zechariah and Mary. In the Bible, Zechariah and Mary differ in their responses to the angel Gabriel and in their roles - Responses to the angel Gabriel.
Zechariah: Questioned God's word and focused on obstacles, which led to him being made mute until the prophecy came true
Mary: Responded with awe and faith, asking how the birth would happen
I hope this helps. Mary, Mother of God, pray for us. The Immaculate Heart of Mary will Triumph.
Someone can actually be in a situation so difficult that they can not solve their own problems, though.
Nope. ‘Oh I can see you are hurt about this..’. Ew. Sounds like what I heard in nursing school. You have to open your heart. It takes courage and honesty, including facing the fact that not all human ills can be fixed or changed by anyone, including the sufferer.
To Me, The Real Reason For Sadness (Or Despair They Like To Say Here) Should Be Considered First, And Efforts Should Be Made To Overcome That Reason. Persons Can Overcome Their Difficulties, But Their Core Reason For Sadness Must Be Recognized At First And Dealt With Honesty Up To The Level Someone Can Personally And Selflessly Afford.
Found this very enlightening, thank you!! 😊
Oh good. I'm pleased. Did my PhD. research on this very topic!
From what I understand empathy is to feel that person while sympathy is to feel sorry for them (this definition is not the 100% of how I see it, it's like a simpler version)
So how does the dog cross it?
I always thought that sympathy was being able to feel and understand the other person feelings based on the situation.
while sympathy was feeling bad for them, without necessarily understanding how they feel (or maybe the don't feel bad, but you feel bad for them anyway)
Hey... Thanks for that nice and vague example.
Explained well and very creative graphics
People mostly don't see the depth of the problem some people are in and are only looking for temporary solutions for them. Sure temporary solution are ok, But people have to understand life will always not be easy and sugar coated words won't work all the time. In the name of solution for a single problem you should check you are not creating more problems. Every human being will not respond the same for all situations. What works for one will not have the same effect on the other.
You are exactly right! Listening is probably the only thing that almost always works.
When you have too much emotions you need empathy. To start solving the problem.
When you have too much rationality you need sympathy. To start seeing the problem.
I thought sympathy is about others problems whereas empathy is about a shared common problem
I think crying is our purest form of empathy.
Boys are taught not to cry, so we stop doing it.
We're told to stop crying about our own pain and the pain of others, often animals, when we're little. So we eventually stop crying about the pain of others unless they die. We are taught to bury our empathy.
Wow! What an insight!
"Stop being so sensitive" yeah, I guess we'll just stop being emotionally motivated to masculine things like protect and serve the people around us. We'll just have to start doing things for our own benefit instead of doing acts out of bravery and passion.
Plenty of high performance Athletes are extremely emotional people. I wonder how they managed to get to the top by being apathetic and cold all the time. Having innate and intense feelings of responsibility to their teams and present/previous coaching staff might have had something to do with it but I guess breaking down in tears in the locker room while you tell everyone how much you love them all isn't manly and mature behavior.
From tears of compassion, reckoning, justice, and loyalty are born. Those are emotions that drive what we consider to be ethical.
crying has nothing to do with empathy. crying comes out off despare, not empathy.
@@junehansen9749 I Don't think you quite get what affective empathy is or sympathy for that matter. They're not singular emotions, they are an entire complex of emotions and despair is most definitely not excluded from empathetic and sympathetic response.
That's like saying "that's not fear, that's just anxiety" as if fear didn't cover and build off of a wide range of more simple emotions.
Empathy is an umbrella term and a system built on systems and the whole debate between what empathy is and what it isn't is fruitless considering a large portion of the population are unaware that they don't even experience it.
Things like empathy are where empirical science starts to leave off and other conceptual expressions step in.
I don't think crying shows that you can feel someone's pain (empathy)... crying shows that you feel sorry for their pain (sympathy)?
0:35 "people either respond with sympathy or empathy"
my responses are either laughter or straight up just a cold staredown
You’re so alpha sigma wolf
@@DevMan2342 no im serious
@@leotronk well I don’t laugh at people but I’d definitely laugh at you. You’re not allat buddy you’re not the cold main character
@@leotronkthat’s called apathy tough guy
We really gonna say people will have one of two responses, and just disregard the massive amounts of people who will have neither sympathy nor empathy for you
You can only feel empathy when youve experienced somethimg, and sympathy is an admittance of there being an individual wronged.
You need both in order to be a comforting light.
I really wouldn’t recommend using the line “I can see you’re upset.” unless you’re a school teacher for toddlers or a therapist. Sympathy is appropriate if you’re reading a news article about a random stranger you’ll never meet. Empathy is better reserved for people you are speaking face to face with
Simple wisdom but I get in situations like this and I think I yield to the impulse to help them with my own ideas rather than the Holy Spirit asking and discerning where they are at and then bring a heart of empathy. Just want to fix them.
Sympathy = understanding someone's feelings
Empathy = feeling someone's feelings
Perfect, so if I was a rock climber? That be okay right... Lmao. This video is perfect.
Narration and animation really goes well and amusing to watch ❤
This video really helped understand empathy. It took a while for it to click but I talk my journey to be empathetic on my RUclips channel. I’m not there yet but I have a long way to go
I'm spellbound by this. I read a book with similar content, and I was absolutely spellbound. "The Art of Meaningful Relationships in the 21st Century" by Leo Flint
what if someone has low sympathy but high empathy..? i am always curious about that
I can tell you that.
If you have low sympathy you just dont give a care of others if you dont know them quite well. If you see an article that people die from a terrorist attack normal people sympathise with the victims. If you have no sympathy you dont care about the victims and the aftermath as long as it doesnt involve you or close people to you
Empathy more knowledgeable to solve problems than Sympathy is that what u mean?
I feel like both can be interpreted as bad, and it depends on the situation and the person. Saying "things will get better" implies that the other person didn't figure out a solution yet, which is very anoying to hear when you see a clear picture already.
Me personally I would rather have someone acknowledge my pain in a quick way or offer a solution, rather than trying to consolidate me with the vague "things will get better" talk
empathy: i understand what you feel
sympathy: i feel bad for you
empathy without sympathy: i see where you're coming from but i don't feel bad for you
apathy (lack of empathy): i don't care + who asked
Why all the videos about these topics are always around negative emotions and situations?
Yes you’re right. I guess, in this case it’s because those are the ones that people find the most difficult to handle. I do get your point though… it’s really important to pay attention to positive feelings in others as well… such as when they have a success and are trying to share it with us. It can be demoralising when someone doesn’t ‘get’ just how pleased/relieved/proud we are and why.
I'm curious... What positive situation do you think would involve sympathy please 😊
Isn't empathy's in that case just sympathy wirh extra steps?
How I understood is that sympathy is just agreeing with someone's shortcomings, but empathy is agreeing but also giving them advice on how it could be solved rather then just accepting it as it is.
Me : dying from pain after accident
Empathatic person: seems like ur dying.
Me : no shit sherlock
well understood sir,
but here I was, thinking both were the same
sympathy is a facade.
Empathy is the capacity to simulate yourself being in the position of another, the more empathetic you are the higher the accuracy of the simulation.
(And as any tool it can be used maliciously)
Why does this not have more views? lol
Because its misleading...empathy loves company like misery...Sympathy is what leads to a solution...Empathy breeds pride in bad things...If you fall and break a leg...Sympathy leads one to help out without knowing how it happened...Empathy may lead one to say been there done that...
@@novelcoronaheads quite the reverse my friend. Everything you said there is the problem with sympathy. Thanks for contributing to the conversation though 😀
From my perspective, pity and sympathy are kind of synonymous. Pitying someone reinforces the belief and identity with a victim complex, but in the long run, people need to take responsibility for themselves and their life choices, even when "bad things happen to them". I'd argue it's easy for teenagers to beat the drum of being a victim, because you're in a stage of life where you have some authority that's developmentally appropriate, but you do not have the maturity to handle all authority over your own life just because you have a menstrual cycle and a driver's license. The degree to which you can take responsibility for your choices, you can have freedom. The problem is, lots of parents don't do this in balance, so you either end up with freedom or responsibility that's developmentally inappropriate. This imbalance can lead to feeling like things just "happen to you" outside of your influence.
When you hit your 20s, the victim mentality stops being a crux of your identity, because you begin to understand what your choices lead to in life. This leads to a drop in wishing to be reinforced as a victim and a profound desire for emotional understanding as a person, which allows us to be fully seen.
Thank you doctor
Fantastic explanation😊
The truth is that the dog would simply jump into the hole without thinking twice. 🤣🤣🤣🗿
I expected a more detail on empathy. Sounded too short and brushed off
This is not what sympathy or empathy means.
These are emotions not the words you use. It is about the intention behind the words not how the other person responses to them.
When people say ''i'm sorry, that sucks.'' with sympathy they do not care about helping you, it is pity. They might even be saying it just to make you stop talking.
When someone says the same sentence with empathy, they are trying to connect and make you feel seen. Might not be the most affect sentence, but the intention is different.
Then it is up to the upset person to respond. If the relationship is strong and they truly know you care it will be more affective, if it feels fake it will make the person feel more worthless. Tone of voice, relationship history, location, body language etc. If you give out love the person will feel loved.
The words ''i hate you.'' can be said a loving undertone, and the words ''i love you.'' can be said with hatred.
Take 3: become a chill cat with apathy and laugh maniacally
If you have the power to spawn wings to fly. Then you can just stay in the hole and cry.
As an autistic person I really appreciate your explnation:)
Don't take this explanation for anything. It's so off that it hurts, tbh.
Empathy was invented as a concept a hundred years ago. We were a more logical society before it was pushed over sympathy. It's about emotion whereas sympathy cares more about the facts. This isn't just my opinion; there have been in depth analyses about this.
There's a third one (arguably most common): Apathy.
Thanx it help me for my project😮
What about Apathy
amazing video, thanks for explaining the difference
My pleasure
My pleasure
Sympathy - Passive 😐
Empathy - Feel the same 😢
Empathy is better.
When i was young my dad minimized. Just about any problem i may of been going through you know some one else always has it worse I think maybe that's were i first began to be empathetic to feel others pain because of what he said last 5years i guit listening to thst tape in head minimizing my emotions im just as important an good as any one else ill tell you one thing most of tgese tarto readersdont have a inch of empathy or sympathy. The things
This was a great video! Thank you so much for posting it.
My pleasure. Wrote my doctoral thesis on empathy… this is a much easier ‘read’!
@@FureyPaul that’s awesome! Thank you for the reply. Are empaths a real thing?
Thank you!
I still don't know the difference
I remember watching this in school in 6th grade or so
Me: Fell in a ditch
Friend 1: Wow. Sucks to be you, I guess.
Friend 2: Now my misery seem small by comparison! Thanks!
Friend 3: Leave him, he's worthless now. Hey, Friend 1 and 2 wanna go grab something to eat?
Easy empathy is emotions logic is narcissism don't worry 99% of people have both, but more empathy
Empathy shares, Sympathy bares.
How about both sympathy and empathy
And here I thought that:
Empathy was ACTUALLY FEELING what another was feeling, both good or bad feelings. Often times, with the latter, it leads one wanting to lessen the bad feelings in another in some way (because you are hurting along with them).
While sympathy is about UNDERSTANDING their feelings or situation, and why another may be hurting. IF there is any motivation to help the hurt person out, it's more likely from an intellectual or compassionate point of view.
Silly me!
Not silly at all. You had both concepts perfectly - just with labels swapped! It really doesn't matter what we call them, it only matters when and why we do them.
It rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again.
Empathy-Well I came from a poor family too and im successful now...Those people are just lazy...Thats why they are still poor...Sympathy-Well I dont know everything about their situation but if its any way I can help out let me know...I wont assume I understand their situation...
WHAT? You have it in reverse..
@@ATLIEN333 Are you feeling well today...If so then maybe you should revise empathy vs sympathy again for yourself...Me personally I prefer sympathy from others...Empaths are manipulative people from my experience...
Read the comments...Look how many people get this confused...
@@novelcoronaheads Nutter
"Empathy-Well I came from a poor family too and im successful now...Those people are just lazy...Thats why they are still poor.."
That's not empathy. That's judgmental assumption but empathy is actually non-judgmental. What you said is "your perspective" and not "their perspective". What you are doing is simply asserting your position, opposite from empathy in everyway. You understand that they are poor from your perspective but you do not understand why they are poor from their perspective.
If you are going to empathize with them, you will have to show what they think e.g. "they feel that it's almost impossible to be rich" or "they don't feel confident in pursuing success", etc. Your statement doesn't contain their thought at all, it's just your thought so it's not empathy. And most importantly, you can't know what they actually think unless you ask them.
Ok, now explain sociopathy.
The constant redefinition and retardation of these two words irritates me more than it should.
How i understand it is simple.
Sympathy is emotional mirroring, meaning you are reacting to someone as impulse and that bounce of is often not reassuring,
An example of this is seeing a girl crying and then crying with her on the same thing.
Empathy is not just giving them the solution but emotionally guiding them to it through framing it in a manner that feels most clear to the person it is being relayed to,
For instance, a guy who hates being a burden is in misery and a woman in a state of deep frustration are both harrowing and damaging to both of their psyches...
But the empathic response is not to simply tell them "you know how they feel" but show it through how you frame it, when they see how much your framing relates and connects to their own struggles, they actually begin to feel their trust build as you give your judgement and solutions to them. Effectively, empathy is not just sharing that you know, but sharing exactly how you know and how willing you are to stand alongside them to in their struggle.
It's hard, which is why people prefer to obfuscate it because they want to feel better while effective refusing to exercise such burden.
Video: The way you show empathy is acknowledging people have emotion
Mentally unwell person: I don’t think I can keep on living
The advice from this video: I can see that you want to unlive yourself
Mentally unwell person: that’s literally what I just said.
A normal human being: “can we talk this out I know your in a tough spot right now but I’m your friend and I’ll help you get out of this”
This video: “BAD BAD NO NO”
Great video. Succinct and spot on.
woah wait so therye not the same word?
sympathy = you acknowledge the pain and you might offer help
empathy = you feel the pain and you're likely to offer help
apathy = didn't ask + don't care
sociopath = you acknowledge the pain and you're happy that they're suffering
Being a sociopath doesn’t mean you like people suffering, that’s called a sadist.
Sociopath/Antisocial personality disorder are people who feel little to no empathy/sympathy towards others, they will harm others if it can benefits themselves.
So don't feed into the mindset got it.
Gosh... just realised that I need a shrink
Oh great, now even being sympathetic isn’t good enough? 🙄
I think this is a misinterpretation..... sympathy is THINKING you know how someone else feels because you yourself feel bad seeing them. So you become tactless and add onto the other's despair. Not helping.
Empathy is already, actually, knowing how that person feels, but you are already moved on from those bad experiences, so you have hindsight and can better understand their feelings and therefore offer real consolation, real help.
You are missing half of the definition.
No. Sympathy is feeling responsible of their feelings, thinking that you HAVE to solve their problem.
Empathy is BEING there with them, offering your presence and understanding.
@@human7491 so, everything I just said. ok
Sympathy is when you feel the need to help a person or thing in distress or you are in a state of agreement..Empathy is thinking you understand everything about why and how someone feels but not necessarily willing to help...Empathy might even make one less inclined to help others...
Your definition of empathy is still wrong. You don't need any hindsight or even similar experiences in your life to empathize with someone at all.
Empathy is not about thinking that you know how someone feels just because you have similar life experiences. Thinking that you know how they feel is always a bad assumption to have because everyone has different feelings even on the same experience.
Empathy is about being curious to truly understand what someone actually feels and demonstrate it by vocalizing their feeling out loud. It's a loop of asking questions, demonstrating your understanding, and letting them correct you, until you truly understand the nuance.
You see, empathy is a difficult subject. Even people get definitions wrong all the time, no wonder why empathy is a rare skill.
There are 2 components to empathy:
1. perspective taking: see the world through someone's eyes
2. non-judgemental expression: tell them how the world looks like through their eyes as accurate and neutral as you can, without judgment
Most people think they can do 1 but completely neglect 2.
By neglecting 2, it cause them to do 1 poorly also because you can't understand someone more if you don't express your understanding and let them correct you.
The dogs deceased isn't available anymore...
I understand empathy as being able to imagine oneself in another person's shoes, sympathy is looking at another person in those shoes and thinking "oh that must be terrible, poor you."
I think a good example is probably gender. I think people, generally, empathize best with their own gender, but less so with the opposite gender. It's a problem in gender politics (when discussing issues like feminism or men's rights), heterosexual dating, etc.
I can honestly admit, as a woman, I have a hard time empathising with men on many issues, whereas other men can. Men often can't empathise with women, I'd argue they're even less able to do it than vice versa.
Why are some definitions like this and other ones other way round? What is going on? Why can't humanity just agree on what words mean? 😮
You're so right. Main thing is that we care for each other. Doesn't really matter what it's called.
@@paulfurey4122 Well, the video is making a point that it does matter. It also does matter how we help and if what we offer is helpfull.
This is a very biased description of both sympathy and empathy.
Sympathy is understanding someone else's pain, empathy is feeling someone else's pain, so in that light, you almost got it backwards.
Furthermore sympathy keeps us from falling into the pit with someone else, whereas empathy puts us right there with them.
You can do better to get your actual point across without using fallacy to bash people with low empathy, but high sympathy.
very obscure and low resolution take on both words.