Bill Burr | "I'm 38, She's 19"

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  • Опубликовано: 12 сен 2024

Комментарии • 3,4 тыс.

  • @RobertMichael
    @RobertMichael 4 года назад +4045

    “As she put down her book bag” 😭😂😂

    • @maxshibe5665
      @maxshibe5665 4 года назад +26

      She's also wearing tartan!... lol

    • @FalconPUNCHXXX
      @FalconPUNCHXXX 3 года назад +4

      🤣🤣🤣🤣💀💀💀💀💀💀💀

    • @hairyfishcakes
      @hairyfishcakes 3 года назад +3

      Why do you not wear a shirt.... I bet the girls love you

    • @Sapientiaa
      @Sapientiaa 3 года назад

      LMFAOK

    • @TCt83067695
      @TCt83067695 3 года назад +5

      She's the studious kind

  • @bjrns.saaiman6293
    @bjrns.saaiman6293 3 года назад +7646

    "I would raise that kid."
    Which kid? The 19 year old?

    • @joaosas
      @joaosas 3 года назад +162

      Ok, THOSE kids

    • @mafaapineru4613
      @mafaapineru4613 3 года назад +36

      Hahahahaha - good one

    • @ZoMbIE1623
      @ZoMbIE1623 3 года назад +7

      XD

    • @goodmen4173
      @goodmen4173 3 года назад +15

      Fucking awesome reply

    • @boufns8
      @boufns8 3 года назад +11

      You call her a kid but she probably earns way more money than you.

  • @13lood13ath
    @13lood13ath 3 года назад +2833

    "I've been with 1000 women"
    Seems legit.

    • @rocketduck44
      @rocketduck44 3 года назад +273

      No shit, that's a new girl every weekend for 17 and a half years straight. Who does this guy think he is, Fidel Castro?

    • @FluffNCrunch
      @FluffNCrunch 3 года назад +234

      I mean, it’s very realistic, obviously! Assuming he lost his virginity at age 10, like any normal red-blooded male, he just needed to sleep with one completely new woman every single week for 21 years straight AND he also has 8 years to commit to multiple long-term relationships like he suggests he did. Boom. Over 1000 women and relationships accounted for. Easy! And that’s not even considering that this awesome stud could’ve slept with multiple women per week either! What a stud-Chad-studly-definitely-real guy!

    • @Badtown1988
      @Badtown1988 3 года назад +122

      Maybe he literally means “been with.” As in worked with, went to school with... 🤣

    • @at6686
      @at6686 3 года назад +9

      Hasn’t everybody?

    • @evictedpelican497
      @evictedpelican497 3 года назад +15

      @@FluffNCrunch you should try to meet a couple of pilots, 1000 would be on the low end of the spectrum

  • @callisoncaffrey
    @callisoncaffrey 4 года назад +7591

    I'm 36, and I can't believe someone would date a girl half their age. I mean you have to draw the line somewhere. When I told my girlfriend about this, she was so shocked she wanted to postpone her 20th birthday party.

    • @abean5
      @abean5 4 года назад +154

      Tell that to my ex. She’s 29 he’s like 55(her moms age)

    • @callisoncaffrey
      @callisoncaffrey 4 года назад +93

      @@abean5 Well, my more or less buddy is 41 and his girlfriend is over 60. So I guess nobody cares around here. My first female companion's mother was also 20 years younger than her significant other. Probably because we live all healthy and look young forever!

    • @rafirahman4883
      @rafirahman4883 4 года назад +46

      Dam that's funny

    • @n0odles86
      @n0odles86 4 года назад +29

      The ralph retort. He's mid 30s, she's 19 and pregnant. He's an absolute knob.

    • @callisoncaffrey
      @callisoncaffrey 4 года назад +7

      @@n0odles86 I would have knocked up my 19 year old a while ago, but she says it's too early. What can you do?

  • @NAConen
    @NAConen 3 года назад +1495

    “This guy is a ****ing creep.”
    🤣 Bill I love you. Never change.

    • @josephstalin7389
      @josephstalin7389 2 года назад +1

      I think he would say at to u too

    • @harrambou9468
      @harrambou9468 2 года назад +12

      @Joseph stalin Oh grow some balls

    • @chdh6556
      @chdh6556 2 года назад +27

      @@josephstalin7389 awww you empathize with the creep lmfaooo

    • @rishaa682
      @rishaa682 2 года назад +2

      why is it funny

    • @DawryMike
      @DawryMike 2 года назад +5

      @@rishaa682 Because he refuses to hold his tongue even with a fan writing in to ask for his help

  • @johnsmick7976
    @johnsmick7976 2 года назад +1526

    I’m 27 and today I was thinking about how much debt I’m in and I’ve been stressing over a plan to get out of it. I felt so hopeless all day. After hearing this guys problems I consider myself lucky. I’m gonna kill all this debt and still not have a kid with a 19 year old 👍

    • @GabrielBandini2024
      @GabrielBandini2024 2 года назад +39

      U will beat it king!!

    • @johnsmick7976
      @johnsmick7976 2 года назад +8

      @@GabrielBandini2024 Thanks brother 🤘🏻

    • @arkhammemery4712
      @arkhammemery4712 2 года назад +27

      And my problems seem minuscule compared to yours. Thanks for sharing brother. Knowing we’re all more or less fucked really helps

    • @johnsmick7976
      @johnsmick7976 2 года назад +4

      @@arkhammemery4712 😂😂😂

    • @RegisteredNurse926
      @RegisteredNurse926 2 года назад +1

      Yo, I'm in the same exact spot.

  • @leagueleaders
    @leagueleaders 4 года назад +2670

    No way that was real. He wrote it like a 13 year old high school freshman. He's plowed 1000+ huh lol

    • @aberamagold7509
      @aberamagold7509 4 года назад +100

      1,000 girls?
      Maybe if you include everytime you're pulling your goalie

    • @tony76484
      @tony76484 4 года назад +184

      I was a whore. I got to 200.
      No way he hit 1000

    • @jameshuang2677
      @jameshuang2677 4 года назад +5

      What if he's a pornstar though?

    • @arisingtide4974
      @arisingtide4974 4 года назад +144

      I knew a guy who had slept with like 160 women by the time he was 18/19, so 1000 by 38 is definitely not impossible. The part that sounds ridiculous to me is being AFRAID OF TALKING TO A GIRL after all that lol

    • @leagueleaders
      @leagueleaders 4 года назад +214

      @@arisingtide4974 so this guy you knew was sleeping with a different girl every week since he was 15? Sure buddy and I got a bridge to sell ya cheap.

  • @noellyons7016
    @noellyons7016 4 года назад +8057

    So nice of Chris D'elia to write in..

  • @rael7298
    @rael7298 3 года назад +1431

    She's 19 and fresh out of high school, but she's spent the last few years being an influencer flying between Sydney and LA? - This is fake

    • @mac8911
      @mac8911 3 года назад +265

      I would also think an influencer would be a little more cautious about not getting knocked up seeing as her body is what pays the bills.

    • @Alaryk111
      @Alaryk111 3 года назад +257

      @@mac8911 You are giving them way too much credit.

    • @punani_slayer4209
      @punani_slayer4209 3 года назад +111

      bruh some of the most famous tik-tokers are 16-year-old kids and they travel all over the world doing crazy shit.

    • @simonaspalovis1204
      @simonaspalovis1204 3 года назад +39

      @@mac8911 on the other hand, some of these influencers legitimately think that being on Onlyfans is entrepreneurial and a respectable business plan. So you know - some of them aren’t as gifted in their brains as in their looks.

    • @jcdenton7261
      @jcdenton7261 3 года назад +27

      Most states in Australia you graduate at 17. Its not uncommon for people to drop out after year 10 at the age of 15-16. Judging by her life choices id say thats quite likely

  • @MrB1923
    @MrB1923 4 года назад +1016

    I'm calling BS.

    • @AV4Life
      @AV4Life 4 года назад +22

      Me too. I mean come on. Many of these are definitely fake. And I’m saying this as someone who has listened to hundreds of hundreds of these.

    • @effortlessawareness8778
      @effortlessawareness8778 3 года назад +2

      @@AV4Life Think the first ones that used to be emailed in were honest now they seem to get outrageous

    • @honestbajan6877
      @honestbajan6877 3 года назад

      The way Bill Burr is reading the letter/email...I would say that it's real.

    • @justmyopinion1098
      @justmyopinion1098 3 года назад +15

      @@honestbajan6877 nah it’s fake how do you sleep with 1,000 women but yet you’re afraid to approach a chick
      (And take 3 months to approach as well)

    • @tseeker5578
      @tseeker5578 3 года назад +3

      @@justmyopinion1098 you beat me with this comment by 11 hours👍

  • @randazza
    @randazza 4 года назад +4739

    A collective "ohh. geez-us" when we read the title lol

    • @gabriel_talih
      @gabriel_talih 4 года назад +52

      Hahaahahahah, hundred percent

    • @williebeck3875
      @williebeck3875 4 года назад +18

      Big facts lol

    • @oigomieggo24
      @oigomieggo24 4 года назад +11

      steven randazza my brain is saying “ohh geezus,” but my curiosity made me click

    • @itsokay7989
      @itsokay7989 4 года назад +8

      Lmao bang on

    • @MrDeshrine
      @MrDeshrine 4 года назад +5

      Ha. Totally did!

  • @TeamForehead
    @TeamForehead 2 года назад +615

    I had a similar experience. I was out with my girlfriend for dinner, and these lads on the next table kept shouting things like “Pedo!”, “Wrong’un”, or “Nonce”. It was horrible, just because I was 36 and she was 20. It really put a dampener on our 10 year anniversary.

    • @reddasher3061
      @reddasher3061 2 года назад +33

      lmfao it took me a few sec to get this joke XD

    • @luisr109888
      @luisr109888 2 года назад +15

      Nice punchline lol

    • @andrejohnson6731
      @andrejohnson6731 2 года назад +3

      Nice.

    • @jvo8068
      @jvo8068 2 года назад +1

      Bruh 💀

    • @OGRH
      @OGRH 2 года назад +3

      Stopped reading... don't know and will never find out if it was worth it... but I know one thing that is for sure... I will never look back and give a shit! Do better!

  • @davidalexander9240
    @davidalexander9240 4 года назад +1472

    He’s lying out his ass. This sounds like one of those stories people put on tumbler and they always end with and everyone applauded

    • @Nikkeels
      @Nikkeels 3 года назад +50

      And then everyone stood up and clapped

    • @therockbottom5256
      @therockbottom5256 3 года назад +75

      Clearly a reddit story, the way it’s written there’s no way it’s not a troll. The ‘friends’ saying “dude you’re a king!” would be too corny in a movie, let alone real life

    • @kimnuyen4628
      @kimnuyen4628 3 года назад +5

      He's a liar! He pulled a number out of the air and multiplied it by ten.

    • @suakeli
      @suakeli 3 года назад +16

      That bus drivers name? Albert Einstein.

    • @butWhyDad
      @butWhyDad 3 года назад +5

      I don't see how he is lying there is way more crazier things that happened and happens. Example bishops, priests raping 6y old boys and getting caught. So how is this story so insane that it can't be real ?

  • @RagnarLoudpak
    @RagnarLoudpak 4 года назад +3399

    38 year old man: “I told my besties.” Wtf

    • @seth_5394
      @seth_5394 4 года назад +17

      A Goodloe truth

    • @kamanha746
      @kamanha746 4 года назад +85

      australia.. is wtf is..

    • @dopedrums
      @dopedrums 4 года назад +12

      Could be Bill's choice of words. I think he adds to it.

    • @fatguyonthc
      @fatguyonthc 4 года назад +34

      Aussies put a y after every thingy.

    • @honkytonkinson9787
      @honkytonkinson9787 4 года назад +5

      BluntCruiseChronicles except for fruit and veg lol. I guess we Americans already claimed that y!

  • @bbarnhouse9022
    @bbarnhouse9022 3 года назад +1183

    "I'm 38, She's 19"
    That's ok. That just means when you are 76, she will be 57 and angry that you have a new 19 yr old girlfriend

    • @jibbymarket
      @jibbymarket 3 года назад +19

      clint eastwood

    • @alexrosario423
      @alexrosario423 3 года назад +23

      What an absolute Chad.

    • @serious7179
      @serious7179 3 года назад +11

      I'm sure she'll leave him well before either of them reach that age.

    • @haselbasil2488
      @haselbasil2488 2 года назад +19

      Please, no 19 year old is going to be interested in some gross old man like that, most aren't interested in a 38 year old, feels like dating your Dad. 😅

    • @andressaleite1642
      @andressaleite1642 2 года назад +6

      she won't be angry cause she problably found a guy her age too.

  • @thereisnosanctuary6184
    @thereisnosanctuary6184 4 года назад +554

    "Ohjeezus"
    Bill's reluctant sympathy.
    "Ohjeezuschrist!"
    Bill's Dad anger starting up.

  • @blackdynamite5016
    @blackdynamite5016 4 года назад +486

    As she puts down her bookbag 😂😂😂

    • @JWonn
      @JWonn 2 года назад +6

      The way she holds that protractor.. lol

  • @NARKISDUDE
    @NARKISDUDE 3 года назад +60

    He's a dad since he's 20 and he still describes women like that, damn

    • @256alexdt
      @256alexdt 3 года назад +2

      Yeah he's trash lol

    • @arobertpetersen
      @arobertpetersen 3 года назад +6

      And with an 18 yo daughter? Sounds like BS.

    • @matthewstephens6848
      @matthewstephens6848 2 года назад +8

      'She's gonna keep IT' hit me. How you could have two kids and think of your third unborn child as an 'it' is beyond me.

    • @duckyoutube6318
      @duckyoutube6318 2 года назад +6

      Just because he made a kid doesnt mean he is a dad.

    • @NARKISDUDE
      @NARKISDUDE 2 года назад +4

      @@duckyoutube6318 true. he's just a father, not a dad

  • @Fineb
    @Fineb 4 года назад +1209

    Sounds like his friends are 19 as well.

  • @josec1538
    @josec1538 3 года назад +615

    “Dude, you’re the king!”
    Are his besties 18year olds ? Haha

    • @HobokerDev
      @HobokerDev 3 года назад +16

      The king of fucking your life up.

    • @flowonthego
      @flowonthego 3 года назад +5

      @Anal Farmer Young women.

    • @jllamb88
      @jllamb88 2 года назад +7

      That’s an insult to most 18 year olds bro lol

    • @dannysplace7
      @dannysplace7 2 года назад +2

      They're Australian, so close enough.

    • @inath101
      @inath101 2 года назад

      @@dannysplace7 Australians are 18 years Olds aye?

  • @TheNitroG1
    @TheNitroG1 3 года назад +97

    the humble brag vibes off of this are seismic. "I've been with over a 1000" sure thing bud.

  • @Overton_Windows
    @Overton_Windows 4 года назад +189

    “Let’s not blame the Irish for this too” 😂

  • @johnspence8141
    @johnspence8141 4 года назад +102

    Wow, I had 20 "bullshit" alarms go off during that email.

  • @dandini0698
    @dandini0698 3 года назад +108

    I love how Bill handled a story that sounds like adult fiction with bad ending. I mean, i wanna say its troll but Bill has large audience and there may be someone who did that on earth.

  • @yours2313
    @yours2313 4 года назад +287

    The guy sounds like he's far deep in his imaginations. It's like his wet dream translated into paper and Burr is reading it.

  • @youngjiggymf1704
    @youngjiggymf1704 4 года назад +116

    The difference between his “oh Jesus” when he read the age & when he read pregnant was hilarious😭

  • @Dirt-McGerk
    @Dirt-McGerk Год назад +3

    Already howling at the valid disgust coming from the ''Awh geezus Christ'' at the beginning lmao

  • @jaykapolka6111
    @jaykapolka6111 3 года назад +83

    I love Bill's "proud of himself laugh" after a good joke lol

  • @snakeypuffs6154
    @snakeypuffs6154 4 года назад +134

    “Dear Penthouse, I want to tell you about an experience I recently had. As an avid reader, I’ve always wondered if the letters are real...”

    • @nvlarcht
      @nvlarcht 3 года назад +3

      Ahahahaha. Thanks for the chuckle buddy.

    • @Palerax
      @Palerax 2 года назад

      This is exactly what I was thinking.

  • @sikari72kukur
    @sikari72kukur 3 года назад +15

    "That's not Murphy's law dude..." 😂

  • @christophercobos2464
    @christophercobos2464 4 года назад +44

    My heart skip a beat as she puts down her book bag 😂😂

  • @GamonKills
    @GamonKills 4 года назад +440

    This sounds fake to me

    • @austinpowers9340
      @austinpowers9340 4 года назад +18

      He’s Australian I’m leaning towards real 😂😂

    • @NathanCassidy721
      @NathanCassidy721 4 года назад +1

      I have a suspicion the details described are hyperbole.

    • @ArisenMind
      @ArisenMind 4 года назад +4

      @Alex Pearson I'm black and I approve this joke. Lol.

    • @sena167
      @sena167 4 года назад +2

      @@ArisenMind wha is the joke?

    • @stevensanchez1061
      @stevensanchez1061 4 года назад +2

      Lets remember this is the guy who impregnated a girl half his age and is asking a random guy for advice. He's not a smart guy!

  • @at6686
    @at6686 3 года назад +40

    “I’m 38, she’s 19. She’s pregnant”.
    “Ok, who’s the father?”

  • @bimmerben7686
    @bimmerben7686 4 года назад +450

    Murphy’s law: after finding out she’s pregnant he learns that she was really 16 all along...

    • @dirtydangler
      @dirtydangler 4 года назад +9

      lmfao

    • @azimpetra
      @azimpetra 4 года назад +15

      38 Upside down is 38, 19 upside down is 16. Just things down under.
      I too have been in this trap, I was 20, she looked 20+, came to find out she's in primary.
      Immediately abort mission. This happened 10 years ago just after a breakup, and yes in Sydney no less.

    • @toshikosatoru8483
      @toshikosatoru8483 4 года назад +12

      @@azimpetra how does a primary chick look like she's 20+?!!?

    • @JiveDadson
      @JiveDadson 3 года назад +4

      Sixteen is legal in most of these United States.

    • @Dubbsteppa21
      @Dubbsteppa21 3 года назад +22

      @@JiveDadson legal doesnt make it any less creepy

  • @deathstar754
    @deathstar754 4 года назад +547

    This is the most unbelieveable story I've ever heard in a long time. 1000 women? What kind of supermodel is this guy, and how does he not have every std in the book? In what universe does a hot 19 year old influencer desire to have a man literally twice her age ask her out?

    • @sangredelic
      @sangredelic 4 года назад +152

      Many. Daddy issues are real.

    • @Fineb
      @Fineb 4 года назад +43

      19yo missing her/a dad in her life is the sad truth

    • @ythandlerandom1278LK
      @ythandlerandom1278LK 4 года назад +23

      Go to Monaco bud

    • @NathanCassidy721
      @NathanCassidy721 4 года назад +70

      A lot of young girls of the 18 to 24 range prefer older men nowadays. Mainly because, unlike boys their age, they tend to actually have money and experience.
      I suspect a lot of the details of this story, such as the "1000 women", though is exaggerated for effect. I'm not a psychologist, but I suspect this guy has a sex addiction problem that's gotten out of control.

    • @art2736
      @art2736 4 года назад +30

      "We're talkin whores people, they're everywhere!"

  • @ottomatic3123
    @ottomatic3123 2 года назад +21

    Bill ends it with a golden moment. It was hilarious and straight-up good advice.

  • @punishercork
    @punishercork 3 года назад +15

    "This is just reading like this isn't real." I love you Bill.

  • @FernandoCantuLoera
    @FernandoCantuLoera 3 года назад +18

    Stranger: Hey Bill! I need life counseling.
    Bill Burr: Comedy Material!

  • @anthonyambrose8783
    @anthonyambrose8783 3 года назад +28

    Words of wisdom from Billy red-balls. "What would you do?" Bill: "I'd raise that kid." That is a man's answer right there, folks. Not a dude. Not a guy. A man's answer. You be responsible for your actions.

  • @Cuzko_
    @Cuzko_ 3 года назад +14

    If you had a kid around that age, how could you look at any girl around the same age any different. This guy is one sick unit.

  • @MrJreed1000
    @MrJreed1000 3 года назад +85

    This guy sounded less like he was concerned and more like he was bragging?🤔

    • @c.s.70
      @c.s.70 3 года назад +12

      Exactly, well said. It was pathetic, I was cringing listening to that. That guy's a POS and a joke.

    • @patriciofernandez2711
      @patriciofernandez2711 3 года назад +11

      He was bragging about his daydreams, there's not a chance in hell this is real.

    • @jandersen6802
      @jandersen6802 3 года назад +3

      @@c.s.70 You are pathetic. 19 year old girls are really hot.

    • @c.s.70
      @c.s.70 3 года назад

      @@jandersen6802 Creep.

    • @user-ol5bj4dm2v
      @user-ol5bj4dm2v 2 года назад

      @@c.s.70 Why deny how you feel? What're you, homosexual?

  • @NayokeHenji
    @NayokeHenji 3 года назад +2

    "As she put her bookbag down." LOL i laughed so much

  • @MoonShroomMan
    @MoonShroomMan 3 года назад +6

    "as she put her book bag down" LMAO
    when she took her binky out and hoped out the stroller

  • @dragonrabbit7410
    @dragonrabbit7410 3 года назад +41

    "Ah I'd raise that kid and wear a condom." That's why we love bill burr.

  • @billysinge8977
    @billysinge8977 2 года назад +48

    The guy’s a troll, and a master at it. I’m laughing til I can’t breathe. Funny as hell.

  • @blackdynamite5016
    @blackdynamite5016 4 года назад +246

    This guy gets zero cool points for this if it's real

    • @littlefrog9553
      @littlefrog9553 4 года назад +20

      He gets 1k moron points. For someone who claims to have banged a thousand girls, he didn't follow proto by rawdogging.

    • @blackdynamite5016
      @blackdynamite5016 4 года назад +5

      @@littlefrog9553 Exactly 😁😁😁

    • @Caedarva
      @Caedarva 4 года назад +20

      This guy’s life story went from being funny to pathetic, to just plain pitiful in a few minutes lol yikes

    • @codetafoya9763
      @codetafoya9763 3 года назад +1

      Why? Don’t act like you wouldn’t do it guy.

    • @blackdynamite5016
      @blackdynamite5016 3 года назад +1

      @@codetafoya9763 Obviously I wouldn't if I made the comment. Not all grown men are trolling the streets looking for young ass girls to bone. I'm 36 and have had convos with 21 year olds and it's infuriating!!!! I know they're legal but it's the mentality for me. They still don't really know shit, can't go into bars (19 year olds) and need to mature. I don't have time to school a young buck on who Method Man and Wu-Tang Clan is🤦🏿‍♂️

  • @MrChannelnamehere
    @MrChannelnamehere 4 года назад +68

    and she's 19... oh jeezus.. and she's pregnant... OH JEEZUS CHRIST

    • @PkGregor
      @PkGregor 4 года назад +5

      And I have a 18 years old daughter... WADDAFACK

  • @whatthecluck6874
    @whatthecluck6874 2 года назад +7

    I’m 25. dating a person half my age is a crime. i think this should be a standard..

  • @lhongkho1091
    @lhongkho1091 3 года назад +23

    Bill sounded like he almost wanted to try to be a nice guy here answering this freaking creep. I respect you Bill.

  • @thomaschristopherwhite9043
    @thomaschristopherwhite9043 4 года назад +213

    This is a poorly written Adam Sandler movie. And as far as Adam Sandler movies go that's saying something.

    • @dantheautoman3821
      @dantheautoman3821 4 года назад +5

      This dude is played by Rob Schnieder

    • @adamstime
      @adamstime 4 года назад +1

      Adam Sandler’s movies are never this entertaining.

    • @ThirdGradeProductions
      @ThirdGradeProductions 4 года назад

      You should watch Uncut Gems, you wouldn't even recognize it was him. He might actually be stepping up his game after 20 years

    • @thomaschristopherwhite9043
      @thomaschristopherwhite9043 4 года назад +1

      @@ThirdGradeProductionsThat movie is pretty dope. The Safdie brothers are the new gifts to cinema.

    • @M613M
      @M613M 3 года назад

      Every Adam Sandler movie seems like a poor attempt at a bro thats in the closet trying to convince everyone hes straight.

  • @baron7755
    @baron7755 3 года назад +19

    He thought she was 26, but didnt talk to her until he found out she was 19

  • @RoleyChiu
    @RoleyChiu 4 года назад +15

    "Pick an apartment right in the middle of all of them." HAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH

  • @The_Darrell
    @The_Darrell 3 года назад +31

    He may be 38, but he has the brain of a 13 year old.

  • @colins3688
    @colins3688 2 года назад +9

    I was 28 and she was 19.. and I could see why one shouldn't date someone who is not mature enough to have a proper thought.

  • @EpicCoolGuy21
    @EpicCoolGuy21 4 года назад +290

    Bill needs to screen his letters for fake BS like this.

    • @bigmac7077
      @bigmac7077 4 года назад +13

      Someone else does we’d be getting fake reactions

    • @longwoolcoat2266
      @longwoolcoat2266 4 года назад +21

      Yeah but it's fun so who cares really.

    • @EpicCoolGuy21
      @EpicCoolGuy21 4 года назад +1

      Puckered
      This one is too fake. I can handle a level of BS, but this is way too much.

    • @bigmac7077
      @bigmac7077 4 года назад +8

      JustinBieber Lmfaooo where’d that come from

    • @MatteR8
      @MatteR8 4 года назад +1

      @@bigmac7077 my guy saw Fredo in the cut

  • @Jesterofthecourt
    @Jesterofthecourt 4 года назад +60

    As an Australian, when he said "Stunna" in an Australian accent,
    I immediately Nodded at the screen like
    "Yes, excellent, you are one of us now Bill"

  • @benm4985
    @benm4985 2 года назад +1

    "this is just reading like this isnt real...." IM LIKE YEAHHHHH FINALLY LMAO the point of no return

  • @jimmyboy1123
    @jimmyboy1123 4 года назад +81

    Fake or not, I really wanted to hear what Nia had to say on this.

    • @landonic81
      @landonic81 4 года назад +22

      Too busy watching Real Housewives of whore island 🏝️

    • @Nasmr1
      @Nasmr1 4 года назад +11

      Tbh I wouldn't mind if Nia went in on this bullshitter

    • @nodiggity9472
      @nodiggity9472 4 года назад +19

      I expect Nia writes half these letters, just to wind Bill up.

    • @thereisnosanctuary6184
      @thereisnosanctuary6184 4 года назад +2

      She would get a passport, apply for duel citizenship, get a membership at a gym, meet him at a motel, and cut his dididgeradoo off.

    • @dongquixote7138
      @dongquixote7138 4 года назад +1

      Said no one ever

  • @mtmotha
    @mtmotha 4 года назад +47

    A few seconds in and I'm already cracking up😂

    • @AndrewWright1998
      @AndrewWright1998 4 года назад +11

      His tone at the start was hilarious “oh jesus christ...” 😂

    • @Licensedbeast
      @Licensedbeast 4 года назад +1

      The second "oh Jesus" killed me

    • @Chekkafred
      @Chekkafred 4 года назад

      Oh Jesus Christ 😂

    • @alexlilley2805
      @alexlilley2805 4 года назад

      @@AndrewWright1998 I swear I was wheezing 😂😂😂

  • @Doofenshmirtz1088
    @Doofenshmirtz1088 Год назад +1

    "Were you still wearing your highschool jacket?" lmaoo

  • @idaliakulik
    @idaliakulik 3 года назад +11

    This is surely one of Bill's best ones yet

  • @issavirgo4838
    @issavirgo4838 3 года назад +147

    I couldn’t fathom what kind of engaging conversation any 40 year old could have with a 19 year old.

    • @charleyfleming9037
      @charleyfleming9037 3 года назад +3

      Zero

    • @BurningUp99
      @BurningUp99 3 года назад +25

      I disagree I'm friends with a 21 year old and we have great conversations. I'm over 40. Stop being so judgy. No I don't sleep with her, but we're both single.

    • @runly1
      @runly1 3 года назад +9

      Maybe they're both passionate about the same hobby, sport, music, etc. I've had friends 30+ years in both directions, younger and older than me. Remember when Bill said you should hang out with everybody?

    • @asummerday4448
      @asummerday4448 2 года назад +30

      there are a lot of engaging conversations a 19 and 40 y.o. could have, but I'm thinking father son or uncle nephew conversations, not hooking up with someone your child's age

    • @schawdaya
      @schawdaya 2 года назад +8

      She's prolly trying to piss off her ex or her dad lol

  • @jordanpharr3441
    @jordanpharr3441 2 года назад +1

    The juxtaposition of the oh jesus murdered me😂😂😂😂

  • @knightyknight4837
    @knightyknight4837 3 года назад +4

    That first "GEEZUS!" was his standard reply to shenanigans. The second "oh jesus christ" was the real one😂

  • @T91here
    @T91here 4 года назад +188

    I was still on bord with the 19yo thing but jumped off when he said ‘influencer’.

    • @thereisnosanctuary6184
      @thereisnosanctuary6184 4 года назад +34

      Not the 1,000 women?

    • @travisjohnson7065
      @travisjohnson7065 4 года назад +8

      Well, who knows. Attractive women can get a lot of followers just by being attractive.

    • @TheTwinkiefoot
      @TheTwinkiefoot 4 года назад +6

      @@travisjohnson7065 you can't build anything with women like that

    • @thereisnosanctuary6184
      @thereisnosanctuary6184 4 года назад +23

      "What's your job?"
      I'm attractive.
      "OK, but what do you do?"
      I'm attractive.
      "I mean, like, your skills?"
      I'm attractive and I can talk.
      "What do you talk about?"
      Doesn't matter. I'm attractive.

    • @TheTwinkiefoot
      @TheTwinkiefoot 4 года назад +3

      @@thereisnosanctuary6184 You had me up until the part when you suggested attractive people can talk. Most people are morons....it's especially true of most attractive people/women.

  • @floydcomstick5960
    @floydcomstick5960 Год назад

    i had to pause for a few minutes to laugh off that excellent line which is "as she put down her book bag"
    fuckin brilliant shit hahahah xD

  • @dantesblood9516
    @dantesblood9516 3 года назад +4

    My heart skipped a beat wen she walked in and put down her book bag😆😆😆

  • @bjkarana
    @bjkarana 3 года назад +35

    TLDR: "I owe child support to yet another woman."

  • @maverickonthemic
    @maverickonthemic 2 года назад +2

    Came here for "Ow jeezuz". Wasn't disappointed.

  • @barryg528
    @barryg528 3 года назад +9

    Gotta love how straight forward Bill is

  • @anthonyhill3194
    @anthonyhill3194 4 года назад +7

    i love the obligatory "ohhh geezus" when he read the title and the genuine "oh jesus christ" when he read the "and pregnant" part

  • @daganisoraan
    @daganisoraan 3 года назад +9

    Your 38, she's 19... Are you both happy? If yes, then why the fuck do you care what other people think. Just being with someone else and being happy is way better than the situation of a ton of people out there.

  • @oghren6617
    @oghren6617 4 года назад +24

    Let’s not blame the Irish for this one too 😂

  • @RTMcFly-ni4qy
    @RTMcFly-ni4qy 3 года назад +14

    Should be titled "She's 19. and I'm a moron."

  • @RS23000
    @RS23000 Год назад +1

    I love the differences between the first Oh Jesus and the second 🤣🤣

  • @ronniemiller3568
    @ronniemiller3568 4 года назад +6

    We're you still wearing your highschool football jacket lol

  • @TravisFont
    @TravisFont 3 года назад +4

    he was for sure trolling. your execution was solid with a straightforward response

  • @eme.261
    @eme.261 3 года назад +22

    When I was 19, I dated a 36 year old man. At the time, I thought it was perfectly fine. 20 years later, it hit me that there was something very wrong with him. I was a baby with daddy issues. By the time I arrived at the age he was when he dated me, I had well and truly resolved those issues. It's disturbing that at 36 he hadn't come even close to resolving his.

    • @haroldplum923
      @haroldplum923 3 года назад

      Let's campaign to make that illegal, shall we?

    • @tommo8321
      @tommo8321 3 года назад +11

      No he is just a guy pushing middle age who wants to go out with a young good girl.not uncommon

    • @sallyjrwjrw6766
      @sallyjrwjrw6766 2 года назад

      OMG, same!

    • @lotuseater7247
      @lotuseater7247 2 года назад +5

      You can't assume he had issues. He just saw an easy fuck and took it. It's not good, but doesn't mean he has issues.

    • @wadepo1
      @wadepo1 2 года назад +7

      Stop blaming the dude for your adult choices.

  • @pez_dispensary
    @pez_dispensary 4 года назад +136

    This type of guy is the reason why religions got started

    • @Nopanop
      @Nopanop 4 года назад +7

      Underrated comment

    • @tipilot3791
      @tipilot3791 4 года назад +3

      The greatest overcorrection in history

    • @romariomejia5396
      @romariomejia5396 4 года назад +10

      You're right, so they could access even younger ones 🤮

    • @NathanCassidy721
      @NathanCassidy721 4 года назад +2

      By jealous men with zero charm, attractiveness, or money?

    • @thereisnosanctuary6184
      @thereisnosanctuary6184 4 года назад +1

      Ohjeezus. Unattractive people have bred more. Its just now attractive people have a monopoly because of science, technology

  • @Angel-kl1ml
    @Angel-kl1ml 3 года назад +42

    Sometimes I underestimate Bill. I started expecting him to atta boy this guy but he was confused, grossed out, and concerned. I love unfiltered Burr. You genuinely don't know what to expect but whatever you get it's somehow deeply in character.

    • @evanreid8935
      @evanreid8935 2 года назад +9

      The one thing I've come to understand about Bill is that no matter how crass he is, he's a pretty decent human being. Honestly, knowing that makes his comedy funnier.

    • @el_mal_de_ojo
      @el_mal_de_ojo 2 года назад +1

      Why would he 'atta boy' this clearly fake story (which he called out after reading the message)?

  • @hereticerik
    @hereticerik 3 года назад +6

    Bill Burr tells it like it is. That's why I adore him.

  • @Zinnshady
    @Zinnshady 4 года назад +5

    >if its real = a sad story id rather not hear
    >if its not real = a sad story id rather not hear
    im just here because bill burr was in the title lol

  • @thereisnosanctuary6184
    @thereisnosanctuary6184 4 года назад +80

    19, beautiful, shapely. She's a Keeper.
    Trapper-Keeper.

    • @Sam-xu3xq
      @Sam-xu3xq 4 года назад +1

      South Park ??🤣

  • @thiago.c123
    @thiago.c123 2 года назад +5

    Bill you're amazing! Keep doing this until the wheels fall off!!!

  • @whiterook8483
    @whiterook8483 3 года назад +8

    I’m 62 my wife is 39. We’ve been married 13 yrs next March 21. We have a 12!yr old son and a 7 yr old daughter. He needs to up his game.

  • @Lucid_Waking
    @Lucid_Waking 4 года назад +8

    I fucking love his opening. Classic bill. "I'm 38 she's 19." Oh geezus!" (Uh oh, here we go)
    "She's pregnant. ..oh Jesus."(oh for fucks sake)

  • @WesleyNiman
    @WesleyNiman 7 дней назад

    I read the title before clicking and said to myself, "Oh Jesus" 😂😂

  • @carter9449
    @carter9449 4 года назад +57

    He should probably go to therapy if it isn't true too

  • @ryanbury9577
    @ryanbury9577 4 года назад +103

    "If my daughter was seeing a dude my age, it would be the last day she saw him alive."
    Because of that comment right there, I'm really hoping that her father has the same mentality, and is REALLY looking forward to meeting you first thing after getting parole.

    • @davidjd123
      @davidjd123 3 года назад +13

      Yah ok, a girl that shows her ass to over 2 million people a day has a dad that’s going to care about her dating a older guy. She’s of age so no laws where broken just mistakes made

    • @mrsnakesmrnot8499
      @mrsnakesmrnot8499 3 года назад +22

      Shouldn't the father be more angry with himself for not raising the girl to practice safe sex? The father is taking out his anger or laying blame (scape goating) on someone else.

    • @deviljho4260
      @deviljho4260 3 года назад +2

      @@mrsnakesmrnot8499 don’t be an idiot, the father has plenty of time to talk to her during parole.

    • @DragonboltBlastter
      @DragonboltBlastter 3 года назад +8

      @@mrsnakesmrnot8499 I agree with you. Ryan Bury (OP) litterly says *if my daughter was seeing a dude my age, it would be the last day she saw him alive*.
      Ryan is a typical case of ''My daughter has no free choice and man above her age are B A D'' ...

    • @ely0335
      @ely0335 3 года назад +2

      @@davidjd123 by theway, almost ANY girl that had sex as a teenager regrets it and wishes that she would have waited longer

  • @Skillet98
    @Skillet98 3 года назад +31

    Even when I was 25, I thought dating anyone with "teen" at the end of their age was fucking weird. 21 is my barely legal...

    • @Rauxanhdauma
      @Rauxanhdauma 2 года назад +4

      now they get triple digits notch count before reaching 20 are you sure you should consider them underage (unexperienced, innocent)?

    • @UserName-us1nm
      @UserName-us1nm 2 года назад +2

      @@Rauxanhdauma ability to fuck doesn't equal maturity. For a one night stand it's different, but dating 18-19 year olds in my mid 20s would feel super gross.

    • @freedommatters7677
      @freedommatters7677 2 года назад

      Round unfair circle split

  • @HDA_III
    @HDA_III 4 года назад +16

    Post-nut clarity hits ya hard every time

  • @koopa6_412
    @koopa6_412 4 года назад +63

    Did he have to explain her body type, that made it infinitely more creepy.

  • @chrisv1674
    @chrisv1674 2 года назад +3

    Here's a guy that's had 3 accidental kids while a few of still raise families responsibly. There's so many stories like this it's amazing so many people have the psychological issues they do from childhood.

  • @darcys9597
    @darcys9597 4 года назад +23

    Is this the "good morning julia" guy?! Will he build her a ceiling fan?!

    • @jdw1114
      @jdw1114 4 года назад

      I guess this means Julia made the right decision

    • @kieran6615
      @kieran6615 4 года назад

      those Momstralians am I right?

    • @DDmegadoodoo
      @DDmegadoodoo 4 года назад

      Naw, cause at least Good Morning Julia can fix things around the house and build shelves. This guy is an "influencer" so he's completely useless.

  • @vaxan5126
    @vaxan5126 2 года назад +17

    19 yr old influencer dying to talk to a middle aged guy, everyone needs an escape from their boring lives, but delusion buddy? lmao

    • @jamiestwrt
      @jamiestwrt 2 года назад

      38 is not middle aged lol

  • @smallmediumatlarge
    @smallmediumatlarge 2 года назад

    I’m still dying at the “she walked in…and dropped her book bag”

  • @mikal
    @mikal 3 года назад +11

    There's literally a song called "The Weight of Her" by Butch Walker that addresses 19 year old girls trying to get with 38 year old guys. It's about how they have nothing to talk about. He wrote it about groupies.

  • @EpicCoolGuy21
    @EpicCoolGuy21 4 года назад +15

    Sure, buddy.

  • @brand0n801
    @brand0n801 2 года назад

    “I don’t think that’s Murphy’s Law buddy, I think that’s the law of nature.” 🤣

  • @JanFWeh
    @JanFWeh 4 года назад +21

    He doesn't have commitment issues, he has contraception issues.

    • @Dubbsteppa21
      @Dubbsteppa21 3 года назад +3

      i think hes got alot of issues tbh