Bill Burr - Being Home Alone

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  • Опубликовано: 29 сен 2024
  • / themmpodcast and billburr.com/

Комментарии • 313

  • @dre857
    @dre857 10 лет назад +626

    This is the voice of a happy man.

    • @lequack7399
      @lequack7399 5 лет назад +16

      In the style of late Patrice O'Neal, best thing a woman can do to a man is to shut up, or in this case-leave from time to time.

  • @sladekayastha6455
    @sladekayastha6455 8 лет назад +206

    and that.....LAAAADDDDDYYYYY

  • @Messyman16
    @Messyman16 11 лет назад +19

    Any time he yells away from the mic its so much funnier

  • @mvpshooter22
    @mvpshooter22 10 лет назад +72

    Bill singing my birth date just had me grinning ear to ear haha

    • @UniqueDev1
      @UniqueDev1 9 лет назад +7

      mvpshooter22 my birth date too

    • @longtailgar
      @longtailgar 9 лет назад +6

      Kevin Tillman and mine!

    • @grilledtortilla
      @grilledtortilla 9 лет назад +11

      Nick B Not mine, still enjoyed it!

    • @Chilpayate67
      @Chilpayate67 Год назад

      Yeah, That’s cool. It's my bday too but it's Aug 5, 2023😅

  • @maximillianosaben
    @maximillianosaben 8 лет назад +8

    Good call! Chicken & Broccoli is the standard go-to Chinese food order in NYC. Simply can't beat it. And he's talking Upper East Side? Bill is scoring major points right now.

    • @evanream6878
      @evanream6878 8 лет назад +4

      Maximillian Osaben last week I got chicken and brocoree in Brooklyn and it was the best I've ever had

  • @wildazcat25
    @wildazcat25 7 лет назад +3

    HERRO,NUMBA WAAN! 😂😂

  • @brnlei
    @brnlei 10 лет назад +43

    " mind your P's and Q's ', is Pint's and Quart's...not to drink to much

    • @MikeRoePhonicsMusic
      @MikeRoePhonicsMusic 10 лет назад +3

      P & Q are also sub-codes embedded into Red Book audio CDs (music CDs.) They store track start/end times, ISRCs, MCN, pre-emphasis flags, copy protection flags & more.

    • @carrrexx7190
      @carrrexx7190 5 лет назад

      This cat watched the Sopranos too.

    • @varanasiwalks1451
      @varanasiwalks1451 5 лет назад +4

      mom always said it meant "*P*lease and thank *Q*"

    • @_booth7992
      @_booth7992 4 года назад +2

      @@varanasiwalks1451 mom was right

    • @seanmartin5056
      @seanmartin5056 4 года назад

      @@varanasiwalks1451 Mommas wrong againnnn

  • @brendanbalanced1945
    @brendanbalanced1945 7 лет назад +2

    "Fuck the Ozone layer PAM"!?!?!??! Lol

  • @Yoman1289
    @Yoman1289 7 лет назад +7

    lol anytime bill sings its an instalike for me.

  • @nickdipaolofan5948
    @nickdipaolofan5948 6 лет назад +1

    Men, you need to NEVER act like you are helpless without your woman because this eventually leads to your wife being super condescending and acting like you are a moron or "just another one of her kids". I am very mechanical and also an avid woodworker, I know how to do basic plumbing, electrical, and other home repairs as well. I am also the only one who works so when my wife and I got married she cooked and cleaned the house and although I never said I didn't know how cook or clean, I just let her assume I was not very good at it. After about a year she would tell me shit like "that's not how you wipe that down" or "you would starve without me". So I decided to stop that shit real fast. That Saturday she was gone for a few hours and I cleaned the house from top to bottom (this usually takes her several days) and it looked ten times better because I actually put some muscle into scrubbing the bathroom and kitchen and used the correct stainless steel cleaner on the sinks. Then that night I cooked her a chicken pot pie from scratch, I made the dough and everything myself. Also made appetizers and the works. She was shocked. afterward I explained "honey I didn't want to be rude but you forced my hand on this, I am ten times better of a cook than you and ten times better cleaner. The reason why you do these things is because I am busy doing things your are not remotely capable of doing, such as fixing the car, maintaining the house, the yard, and oh yeah, making the money. I need you to do these things in the same way a parent needs a child to hand him tools so the child feels useful"
    NEVER let your women act like you are inept when it is she that is not able to do half the things you do.

  • @SpankinMyDough
    @SpankinMyDough 6 лет назад

    "June 25th in this motherfuckaaa" I fucking cried laughing

  • @hkhat19
    @hkhat19 2 года назад

    7:00 sounds like it’s the origin of his mass murderers bit in “I’m Sorry You Feel That Way”

  • @wrxhex
    @wrxhex 8 лет назад +6

    I live near Hartford and it does suck lmao

  • @multiestonian
    @multiestonian 5 лет назад

    He sounds soo happy xD

  • @scp--yv1hv
    @scp--yv1hv 4 года назад +1

    If you've seen bill burr live you know he doesn't pander.... he roast your city

  • @hockeyed
    @hockeyed 5 лет назад +1

    The Hartford 🐳ers!!!

  • @michaelappel9725
    @michaelappel9725 2 года назад

    Brass Bonanza is the Hartford Whalers song

  • @dababybackribs1000
    @dababybackribs1000 8 лет назад +2

    p's and q's is actually a reference towards keeping track of people's drinks.. pints/quarts

    • @rad4life1
      @rad4life1 8 лет назад

      +dababybackribs1000 Interesting. I always thought it stood for "please and thank yous". As it is used in reference to being polite.

    • @TheDayZCowboy90
      @TheDayZCowboy90 8 лет назад

      +dababybackribs1000 you're a douche

    • @Oozywolf
      @Oozywolf 8 лет назад

      Various ideas. Pints and quarts is one, please and thank you's, and finally - people think it was an expression that was used for typewriters since P's and Q's were simply reversed on the keys and easy to mess up (remember, typing was a new thing and memorizing the keys isn't too easy). Had to google it haha. It was always an extra credit question on my goofy professors math tests in college though! Though I always forgot what it stood for.. (I think it was the pints/quarts and the please and thank you's was wrong).

    • @Player-wp6fp
      @Player-wp6fp 5 лет назад

      dababybackribs1000 I figured it was not to mix up p and q pretty much making sure your not backwards same as cross your t’s and dot your i’s

  • @LordHypnos4
    @LordHypnos4 11 лет назад

    In the world of logic they set up sets of arguments that mean certain things especially in mathematical proofs. It's been a long time since I took the class but you can have arguments such as p if q or p if and only if q and there are millions of different arrangements, p and q only stand in for a statement. Mind your p's and q's is a phrase meaning pay attention to your phrasing and make sure you are using the right logic to prove your proof

  • @jeffg2226
    @jeffg2226 4 года назад

    At 4:23 hilarious old freckles crack me up with that ditzy female voice he always does.

  • @eutue
    @eutue 12 лет назад

    i ate from the No. 1 Chinese Restaurant around my way, back in the day.

  • @scotmccormack5064
    @scotmccormack5064 9 лет назад

    You shit on Ottawa before every show here and then compliment the crowds. Every time.

    • @jasondyrkacz8270
      @jasondyrkacz8270 8 лет назад

      Don't take American ribbing of Canada seriously, eh?

  • @gregthompson4373
    @gregthompson4373 4 года назад

    It’s when he said ‘And that’s my goal’ right after the Hitler stuff and my dumb ass thought his goal was to become Hitler 😂👍🏻💯

  • @wafflestew4606
    @wafflestew4606 2 года назад

    chicken brocorrrreeeeee

  • @adrastea
    @adrastea 12 лет назад

    just looked it up "mind your p's and q's" comes from "mind your pints and quarts". something bartenders would say to drunk patrons. in another era, William would've heard that all the time.

  • @wotshish
    @wotshish 4 года назад

    mind your p's and q's has an unknown origin. The most plausable reason could be from the fact that d b p and q are all circles with a line placed in slightly different spots. another theory is that p and q stands for "pleases and thankyous" since "thank you" has a q noise in it (than-Q). another theory is that it is a phrase originating in pubs where a bartender would tell you to be careful about drinking, where p stands for pints and q stands for quarts, or possibly that p and q were used by bartenders on tally sheets to show how many pints and quarts of alcohol they sold.
    TLDR; nobody fucking knows, but we have some ideas as to what it is.

  • @davidwoods2111
    @davidwoods2111 4 года назад

    Don't know how I know. But p's and q's stands for mind your pints and quarts oh, it's an English thing

  • @fistoffries
    @fistoffries 12 лет назад

    I laughed from time 0:00 at the way to 10:26

  • @jimpowers13
    @jimpowers13 7 лет назад

    pints and quarts

  • @nameisakam758
    @nameisakam758 9 лет назад

    Chicken Brocery

  • @No1_Inpa_Ticular
    @No1_Inpa_Ticular 4 года назад

    Mind your pints and quarts

  • @Megalodon987
    @Megalodon987 4 года назад

    "Muhfuckin chicken" as a black man I'm proud to hear him say it like we would

    • @stonedjesus9887
      @stonedjesus9887 4 года назад

      Lmao shit I'm white and I say it like that too, I grew up in a neighborhood where I was token white boy, I'm not complaining I learned alot of life lessons from the guys i used to chill wit

  • @carrrexx7190
    @carrrexx7190 5 лет назад

    Bill Jackson Browne Basher Burr

  • @benjochambo
    @benjochambo 5 лет назад

    Ps n Qs Piss n Queef. Don’t quote me on that.

  • @mr.miller317
    @mr.miller317 3 года назад

    Pints and Quarts...it’s an old bartending phrase. Mind your Ps & Qs.

  • @Te4RHyP3
    @Te4RHyP3 12 лет назад

    it's not entirely his fault, when someone thinks it's realistic to cook TV chef style shit every night there's a problem.

  • @jasprologikhall2775
    @jasprologikhall2775 8 лет назад +10

    for all who wants to know what it stands for: P.riorities & Q.uintessentials, you're welcome.

    • @DEFDEFDEF5162
      @DEFDEFDEF5162 8 лет назад +6

      Douche

    • @jasprologikhall2775
      @jasprologikhall2775 8 лет назад +1

      LOL, don't know why I deserved that, but humans will always react negatively to facts. It's the #1 reason why humans are willingly being led to slaughter by the controllers.

    • @JM-ll6hd
      @JM-ll6hd 8 лет назад +5

      pints and quarts actually.....douche.

    • @jasprologikhall2775
      @jasprologikhall2775 8 лет назад

      +Jason Mcdevitt don't miss your A.A. meeting booze bag.

    • @JM-ll6hd
      @JM-ll6hd 8 лет назад +5

      Jas ProLogik Hall what a douche.

  • @mojobassyo
    @mojobassyo 4 года назад

    Billy Ballz head.....learn to use THE GOOGLE!

  • @dahomieMays
    @dahomieMays 12 лет назад

    bounce a quarter off my face

  • @DrunkenCokeHead421
    @DrunkenCokeHead421 11 лет назад +1

    FINE i will. fuckin rude. jeezus

  • @sowhazupguy
    @sowhazupguy 7 лет назад

    Is it a good thing for him to be so happy when his LADY is not in the state he's in?

  • @iceflameproductionz
    @iceflameproductionz 8 лет назад +1

    hartford is terrible

  • @lupooflunarorigin120
    @lupooflunarorigin120 8 лет назад

    Ps and Qs is please and thanKYOUs

  • @nialls1048
    @nialls1048 5 лет назад +171

    Nia has reverse psychology-d Bill into cleaning the house. Outstanding move.

    • @dr.j7542
      @dr.j7542 4 года назад +8

      Wow!
      "...Gosh, i never looked at it that way."

    • @jonjone661
      @jonjone661 3 года назад +9

      Somewhere I hope Bill read this comment and he brings it up with Nia 😂

    • @dianapennepacker6854
      @dianapennepacker6854 2 года назад +2

      My mother and grandpa are also oppressive in the Kitchen.

    • @seanm7539
      @seanm7539 Год назад +1

      Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha oh my God you’re not wrong ha ha ha ha oh shit

  • @anthonymiller934
    @anthonymiller934 8 лет назад +252

    Love when he goes off topic, and then realizes and says "idk" "idk what the fuck I'm talking about
    Cracks me up everytime.

  • @joshuataylor3523
    @joshuataylor3523 8 лет назад +227

    I crack up every time he says lady idky I find it so funny

    • @anonchen7656
      @anonchen7656 8 лет назад +8

      +Joshua Taylor Great fucking taste, Sir. (there are no ladies and sirs anymore, that's why it's fun)

    • @Twobarpsi
      @Twobarpsi 5 лет назад +2

      He's imitating Jerry Lewis in case you didn't realize that.

    • @ysavelacorral6491
      @ysavelacorral6491 4 года назад +3

      Ladddddiesssss

    • @philorgneopolotin8762
      @philorgneopolotin8762 4 года назад +2

      LAAAAADY

  • @ImBoredAsHell21
    @ImBoredAsHell21 10 лет назад +88

    "Some muh-fuckin' chicken!" xD

  • @timmian85
    @timmian85 11 лет назад +153

    Bill Burr cleans the house out of spite... Thats hardcore Irish..

  • @doctorHOUSE
    @doctorHOUSE 8 лет назад +170

    One guy just chatting on his own can be so fucking funny

    • @A6Legit
      @A6Legit 3 года назад +6

      Not just any guy.

  • @alicat1564
    @alicat1564 8 лет назад +113

    I love bill's women's voice

  • @StephNuggs
    @StephNuggs 8 лет назад +211

    "chicken and broccori!!"

    • @GASMANGWAP
      @GASMANGWAP 5 лет назад +2

      He said it right when I came across yo comment.

    • @Poxymonkeypox
      @Poxymonkeypox 5 лет назад

      Ohhhh I thought they were saying cheeky broccoli this whole time....

    • @petergriffin4629
      @petergriffin4629 4 года назад +1

      Shitty wok, taka orda prees.

    • @JungleJuiceJoey
      @JungleJuiceJoey 3 года назад

      Whats up Steph Nuggs

    • @StephNuggs
      @StephNuggs 3 года назад

      @@JungleJuiceJoey sup mellow

  • @kingqp
    @kingqp 7 лет назад +61

    Some muuuhfuggin chicken LMAO

  • @FreakyKong
    @FreakyKong 9 лет назад +131

    BROCK-OH-REE!!

    • @k4ir0s
      @k4ir0s 5 лет назад

      CHEE-KIN!

  • @Rurne
    @Rurne 9 лет назад +75

    If you leave it spotless, she'll assume you can handle it, so it's off her responsibility list and permanently on yours.

    • @rupin
      @rupin 9 лет назад +13

      prophet.

    • @ArronLukeMusic
      @ArronLukeMusic 8 лет назад +2

      +Rurne someone i know says they do the ironing and cooking crap on purpose so their SO does it. LOL

    • @sanjeetsingh3854
      @sanjeetsingh3854 8 лет назад +11

      +Rurne The "everybody loves Raymond" strategy

    • @phillytheflyerable
      @phillytheflyerable 7 лет назад +3

      or he had a booty call

    • @rawsko0316
      @rawsko0316 5 лет назад

      Yep

  • @aMANinaSUIT
    @aMANinaSUIT 8 лет назад +55

    "Chicken and brocori". freaking killed me.

  • @kellyd4535
    @kellyd4535 10 лет назад +40

    Its so fucking awesome to be home alone. I feel Bills joy!

  • @dylanjones1617
    @dylanjones1617 9 лет назад +31

    "I haven't cooked in Yeeeeeears"

  • @bijujacob7060
    @bijujacob7060 10 лет назад +14

    The dude is totally improvising, yet hilarious. Funny man.

  • @wheremakeysat
    @wheremakeysat 9 лет назад +34

    5:49
    AH DIN HEY YOOH

    • @reid69uk
      @reid69uk 3 года назад

      That had me rolling 🤣😂

  • @furleysbrain
    @furleysbrain 11 лет назад +11

    Ps and Qs - FROM METAL TYPE PRINTING PRESSES back in the day, when you had to lay every letter out individually to create a press.
    A lower case 'p' and 'q' would often be confused.

  • @ErwinSchrodinger64
    @ErwinSchrodinger64 7 лет назад +33

    "Bbbrrraaccc-ccccooorrrrriiieeeEEEE!"

  • @dgilbertson10
    @dgilbertson10 8 лет назад +15

    chicken and broccori. *yelling away from mic

  • @yellowmelancholy4875
    @yellowmelancholy4875 5 лет назад +2

    Lmao “Bounce a fucking quarter off my goddam face.”

  • @khat1397
    @khat1397 10 лет назад +10

    eversince I started listening to Bill I will randomly start quoting him doing the dollar shave club read "Easy shave buttahhh"

  • @taylormoulton8424
    @taylormoulton8424 7 лет назад +8

    "Whenever you're failing at what you do, you teach it" shout out to acting coaches hahah

  • @reynam2576
    @reynam2576 8 лет назад +7

    my favorite comedian hands down.. always on point

  • @GAZAMAN93X
    @GAZAMAN93X 7 лет назад +7

    "I don't even know how to make cereal" 😂

  • @elisanchez5480
    @elisanchez5480 8 лет назад +27

    I noticed something. He was so happy until he mentioned Nia nagging him in the kitchen, then he immediately went back into "Married Man Mode". Good luck Bill-da-Burr Workshop. :(

  • @ericcam5556
    @ericcam5556 7 лет назад +5

    "You could come over here and bounce a quarter right off of my god damn face"

  • @richmound5145
    @richmound5145 7 лет назад +7

    "Like a muhfucka" lol

  • @reinforcedpenisstem
    @reinforcedpenisstem 9 лет назад +115

    Can imagine Bill's neighbors over-hearing "Chicken and Broccery!" and thinking "Fuck. We've gotta' move..."

  • @SpasmFingers
    @SpasmFingers 6 лет назад +2

    Perks and querks?
    Pandas and quasars?
    Pill Qurr?
    People and questions?
    Pepper and quality salt?
    Pasta and quiz?
    Please and quotes

  • @spyfoxguy
    @spyfoxguy 9 лет назад +7

    00:59 nice Joe Rogan impression

  • @a1be31s8x9
    @a1be31s8x9 10 лет назад +2

    I'm a douche, so here's what the P's and Q's are all about. p and q look like each other, so minding them means to not mix them up. pqpqpppqpqpqpqpq

  • @sladekayastha6455
    @sladekayastha6455 8 лет назад +6

    and that.....LAAAADDDDDYYYYY

  • @ScubaGolz
    @ScubaGolz 8 лет назад +2

    "fuck the ozone layer pam"

  • @LaylaSpellwind
    @LaylaSpellwind 5 лет назад +1

    Mind your P's and Q's. "Pleases and Than Q's" ... I hate that... That's not how that is spelled...
    I googled it.

  • @jl.7739
    @jl.7739 4 года назад +1

    Bill should have been playing „chic: le freak“ in the background.

  • @Paddy.C
    @Paddy.C 7 лет назад +2

    I can relate to the broccoli thing.
    My buddy lives on Rowland Road, but because we always phone for Chinese food when we're there, it's become 'Woahlah Woah'.

  • @adrastea
    @adrastea 12 лет назад +2

    that hitler fade line had me laughing all day. just saying. thanks paper.

  • @christhomas1708
    @christhomas1708 9 лет назад +3

    watch you p's and q's:
    watch your manners aka prime qualities or for english bartenders watch your pints and quarts
    actually i don't know nor does anyone else know for sure. i looked it up on wikipedia.

    • @ctdieselnut
      @ctdieselnut 8 лет назад +1

      from the days of printing pressed, letters would all be backwards so ps look like qs and vice virsa. just means mind the details

    • @ctdieselnut
      @ctdieselnut 8 лет назад

      from the days of printing pressed, letters would all be backwards so ps look like qs and vice virsa. just means mind the details

    • @ctdieselnut
      @ctdieselnut 8 лет назад

      from the days of printing pressed, letters would all be backwards so ps look like qs and vice virsa. just means mind the details

  • @chebre1291
    @chebre1291 6 лет назад +1

    Use butter.. But cook the eggs on about medium they only stick when you cook the eggs on high heat low and slow equals less sticking to the pan

  • @mattanz9
    @mattanz9 11 лет назад +2

    i love it when he yells way from the mic.
    it makes my dayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

  • @0INFERNO1
    @0INFERNO1 7 лет назад +1

    I am not a douche, just because I like to read and enjoy information. And Ps and Qs stand for mind your Pints and Quarts

  • @sherwoodccm
    @sherwoodccm 7 лет назад +1

    Brass bonanza. And as much as I want to be a homer, Hartford really is a disappointing wasteland of liberal policies. Kinda like Detroit, Jr.

  • @SomeWeimsi
    @SomeWeimsi 8 лет назад +2

    Like you need capital letters in an email address Bill :D

  • @acdcfan6
    @acdcfan6 11 лет назад +2

    Those who cant do, teach.
    Those who cant teach, teach gym.

  • @whodoyouwanttobe7979
    @whodoyouwanttobe7979 11 лет назад +2

    chicken and BROCCOLREEEEEEEEEE!

  • @Matthiacle
    @Matthiacle 11 лет назад +2

    "There's nothing good about hartford" Chappelle said the same damn thing

  • @UhideNcryWhileIseek
    @UhideNcryWhileIseek 6 лет назад

    Why the fuck would someone go on to get married and have kids lol it's terrible. But go ahead have fun 😂😂😂

  • @Francesco-cj3oi
    @Francesco-cj3oi 6 месяцев назад

    "What the fuck?!"
    "You know what, what the fuck right back at ya!"
    I'll start using that one

  • @TYoung90125
    @TYoung90125 11 лет назад +1

    p's and q's doesn't actually stand for anything.
    It is a typography idiom. During the printing process (long time ago) you used blocks with protruding letters and had to arrange each individual letter into the press. Problem is that p's and q's look very similar so if you turn one upside down and mix them up you'll mess up the spacing between letters. Same issue with b's and d's actually.
    The more you know =D

  • @jimmybonez8928
    @jimmybonez8928 3 года назад

    I KNEW he was gonna mention the HARTFORD WHALERS!!!!! I KNEW IT!!!!

  • @Guitarfreak931
    @Guitarfreak931 6 лет назад +1

    If I can throw dirty change at a blanket
    Hahahaha

  • @balqeesbaloch5213
    @balqeesbaloch5213 Год назад

    In case anyone was wondering, it stands for minding your pleases and thank-yous.

  • @hahahaha-ut6ir
    @hahahaha-ut6ir 4 года назад

    Put some butter in the fucking pan bill! O-zone saved!

  • @tmalonso
    @tmalonso 10 лет назад

    I'm one of those douches!!! I think it means pints and quarts...heard something about bartenders saying it back in the day as a way of telling people not to get too smashed or something along those lines...could be bullshit but sounded legit

  • @13shokey
    @13shokey 11 лет назад +2

    "there we go, we just insulted teachers" hahah

  • @Thinkforyourself1997
    @Thinkforyourself1997 Год назад

    Boil the pan with the cooked egg for a few mins. It peels right off.

  • @NaturalCanopy
    @NaturalCanopy 7 лет назад

    who the fuck uses pam to make scrambled eggs all you need is some butter