For whatever it's worth, I like you. I appreciate the cleaver way you put your videos together! You are fun, energetic, infomative and down to earth. Love your mom, but take her criticism with many grains of salt.
Thank you Rickie; I'm working towards doing a daily program that deals with truly enlightened communication that stems from a place of compassion and mindfulness. This hateful speech and hatefully divisive actions will destroy our world. I believe it's possible to change the global dialogue one conversation at a time. At a minimum we can transform our own little area of the world, and that's a good start.
Going forward I am going to tell my mother how WONDERFUL she is because she is! Likewise my father (who has passed) was WONDERFUL and I know I told him that often. And my brother and my nephew and so many of my friends--and yes, you Jim--YOU ARE ALL WONDERFUL.
Thanks for clearing up the question "What do You think" I am guilty of criticizing when asked that question since I haven't been taught the true meaning of that question
Saaaaame. Are you neuro-divergent? (You don't have to answer that.) We have the "problem" of taking ppl literally, when they rarely mean it that way. Tends to get us into all kinds of trouble. Having someone spell it out like this is, indeed, quite helpful
Thank you for giving us the correct words to use. I’m aware there have been many times I used the wrong language and failed at conveying what I really meant. It’s so disappointing to realise that my compliment wasn’t heard in the way that I intended it to sooth & nurture. Great advice & tips Dan!
Your kindness and knowledge is very helpful. I am learning so many real life skills I wish I had in earlier years. Hoping young people are watching your videos 👍🏻
I use the marketing "touch the shoulder" along with the appropriate active voice when I praise my kids, and it works. There's a 180 change when I remember to do it.
You bet it works. Now if only MY mother would have done that. (Sometimes I write these things to get her goat--but lately she's been hiding it so well I can't get to it.)
U r absolutely a God given person to me..love all on what “u shld say n not say”. & on being nice..treat pple the way u want to b treated..I love how u speak & express ur speak I can watch u allll day😊
Thing is - what I really think is written all over my face! Oh God - as much as I love your videos - I have now watched 3 in a row - and I really don’t think I can show myself in public ever again.
Hey Rum Do! You're going to have to fill me in a little here. I know you're joking (I'm not as dense as I look) but--having said that--remember that whatever you're thinking, you can say it in a loving way. Now if you are thinking things that are not loving, well, go to my store at danoconnortraining.com and buy The Nine Principles. YOU WILL THANK ME.
@@TheWizardOfWords Thanks for your response Dan. I’ve had difficulties with people due to a lack of assertiveness and boundaries and vulnerability and empathy. But I suppose cynicism is not a long term solution! I browsed your shop - perhaps it would be better to become a member (and I would get The 9 Principles free) However it says your payment page is not secure (I’m in the UK) but I may just go ahead anyway. Thanks for your help. Xx 💋
This is something I have very conflicting thoughts/feelings on. I am a Virgo, and true to Virgo nature, I am very analytical & precise, and am always working on personal growth. Virgos tend to appreciate the tips & pointers, & info that will help guide us toward our never-ending quest for growth & improvement. When I ask someone their opinion of something, I truly WANT their opinion, whether positive or negative. To me, it is actually more hurtful for someone to respond with something positive simply to be kind rather than their ACTUAL thought/opinion, b/c that doesn’t actually HELP me. I’m not saying it’s ok to be mean or overly harsh; obviously wording is important. I’m simply saying that as someone who values honesty & true helpfulness over being disingenuous, it is EXTREMELY difficult for me to respond in a way that is conflicting to what I truly think whenever I’m asked. That feels like a lie and a disservice. However, clearly not everyone feels this way. Responding in a positive way just to be supportive without actually being constructive (IF it’s something that would actually be helpful to them) and finding the right words in which to do that is something I have struggled with my entire life.
There’s always room for tact & positivity when giving feedback. It doesn’t have to be critical, even if there are actually errors. Negativity is draining, there’s ways to deliver unfavorable information in a tactful way.
@@MamaBear0823 I definitely agree! I was just raised in a family who either didn't know better or didn't care, so I've spent my adult life trying to unlearn that method of communication and learn to be positive in how I deliver something. I think the combo of upbringing and my astro components just presents the facts on my brain without the niceties of the positive spin. As positive as I FEEL, I still struggle to get it across in a "sweet" way. My brain doesn't seem to offer me much "fluff". 😟
I think there's room for criticism in a kind, tactful way that's also helpful. If someone asks you what you think you can use positive comments along with places for improvement. In my mind, telling someone they tried hard and then letting them embarrass themselves in front of a group of people isn't kind at all. In fact, I think it's toxic positivity.
Many thanks. We choose whether to spread light or darkness, don't you think? In all circumstances, we can choose our reactions. I've never seen the benefit of spreading darkness-pain--hurt.
Can you do a video on facial expressions. I feel that people don't take me seriously because of my attitude. My emotions are expressed on my face even when I am saying something valid but is not taken serious because of these facial expressions.
Damn, this is such a great tip. My struggle is when I routinely get late work that clearly no one put any effort into and then I have to somehow turn that around with expectation management and positivity. It’s really hard to do cause to be honest with you. I feel like people take advantage and they don’t want the feedback they just wanna be lazy and not do their work and they know that if people are nice to them, they can keep up that crap and I constantly wrestle with that boundary because I do feel like the tools to deliver that are not always clear.
You are so good at breaking down general principles. I find that a lot of communication experts do not! Please could you break down why unsolicited advice is bad, and when you should give advise ?
I just discovered you this morning and have to say, I very much appreciate you for giving me these life/work lessons. You're pretty awesome... and I can tell you're genuinely a good human-being. Thanks again. Take care.
I think our society doesn't understand what differentiation is, hence the growing animosity (mostly in the workplace) socially. Definitely asking whether someone actually wants a critique or not will save possible hurt feelings!! Thank you. I'm generally very supportive of everyone, but this would help me know what is actually going on :)
Dan why couldn't you have been my brother; too old 2be learning this now. Yes am a boomer. 72 in June, still job hunting, so tired of all this nonsense but thank u!! ❤ Glad2 find You!!
Dan, this is one of my absolute favorite videos of yours. I have replayed this many many times. (I was an odd child, and even though I never cared about getting good grades, I WAS obsessed with sentence structure. I remember 7th grade vividly and diagraming sentences was my favorite thing to do. I left a comment a few months ago on a another video remarking on how essential these videos have been in my life, and restructuring my relationships. Things are still improving and I continue to refer clients to your videos(while they are stranded in my chair 😆)
Candice Berg thank you so much for your kind words and also for referring clients to this site--while they are stranded in your chair! :) OMIGOD--diagramming. My mother never let me hear the end of it. She had a nun in 8th grade that was big on diagramming and she loved it and forced it on me. I don't think I've thanked her for that lately. OK, WHERE DOES THE "LATELY" GO IN THE DIAGRAM? Tell me THAT, Candice!
@@TheWizardOfWords Absolutely! How can I not be subscribed and sharing your content. You're a rock star on here...the # 1 authority on communication. I share your videos every time I watch them.
Your teachings are life-changing & you are wonderful at what you do. NOW, tell us how to get skin and eyelashes like yours!😀❤️Oh, I love to diagram sentences!
I have been binge watching all your videos because I'm starting a new job outside the military and I really hope this helps because God knows none of this matters in the military haha. These videos are really well made and very enjoyable. I cant wait to put these skills to use!
Things were said. Mistakes were made. Things were forgotten, that ought not to have been forgotten. You're so right, and especially when communicating in an office environment, in a situation where I have to say something that is negative/critical, I will deliberately say/write it in the passive voice. I really have to be aware of what I say and how I come across, because I do tend to be critical (and am also a proofreader) (plus, I have RBF, which doesn't help, so I have to be sure to be extra-pleasant). But, hey -- I'm a work in progress, and with fine teachers like you, I'm sure to make progress! I'm proud to be a subscriber!
Rosetta, as I'm sure you know, we are all works in progress. Kudos to you for working on the areas in which you feel you need improvement. If we all did that, we'd all be a little better, a little kinder, and no doubt a little happier each day.
A friend of ours was always put on the spot when it came to folks newborn babies. Her response was “ just breath taking “ 👀 and left it at that. I always thought that was funny because- one could take that either way 😂 with or without a positive or negative opinion
Do you have any advice on practicing conversation skills by yourself in the pandemic, especially difficult situations? I cannot find anyone willing to help me practice during the pandemic.
I'm looking for someone to help me practice communication skills too. I'm lonely, isolated and looking for some one to talk to, some one to practice my communication and socialization skills on too.
Buffer and Each and Everything--press the notification button because I'm going to be doing regular live shows. You might not be able to practice, but I think it might help with the feeling of isolation.
At 4:56, made me think of Jenna Marbles and what happened to her. It was essentially what you were talking about at that time stamp. Was that a nod to her as an example? If not then, you accidentally made a brilliant little shout out to a wonderful person who people did pick at. Just wanted to note that, was a pretty neat and fitting little connection.
would that telling people how proud you are of them also count if you are in the middle of a conversation and they're telling you about something good that happened in their life and the thing I tend to say is wow that's so impressive that this event happened I'm happy for you and I'm cheering you on from where I am if I can't feel happy in my life I want to celebrate you in your life
What you are talking about, the passive or active voice is the difference between a genuine or bogus apology. For instance, if someone says, "I'm sorry for doing such and such" is genuine, but if they say "I'm sorry such and such happened.", that is not genuine.
Absolutely. The second is just a clever way of not taking responsibility in the first place. It reminds me of something my grandfather once said--tongue-in-cheek of course. "If I've done anything for which I'm sorry, I'm willing to accept your forgiveness." I laughed out loud when he said that because it was meant to be funny. HOWEVER, my mother used it once on someone who was on her last nerve--and he thanked her and that was the end of that. Go figure.
Rami, you think that unawareness lends itself to complete purity/humility/self-improvement? So if you are totally unaware, you are totally pure/humble/and improved? I would think the opposite might be true.
I have a family member who gives unsolicited advise and mentions how at fault I am. I responded that was not my intention,when they claimed I hurt their feelings. They play the victim. They responded with a comment on how they will remind me that it’s not the first time. They are angry because they are aggressive and I avoid them when they’re being aggressive. This family member is very manipulative and is very hard to deal with.
I struggle a bit with criticism, I like things done properly and I appreciate good quality…..and a lot of people just do as little as possible with minimum effort and just don’t care, this apply to any activity……I try to be kind about this, but still difficult when you see just a bad attitude
I hear you, Carlos. One thing you might bear in mind is that your criticism of a job poorly done isn't constructive or warranted unless what you are seeing impacts you. (Obviously it's different if your JOB is to inspect something; then critique away!) If, for example, the person in the cubicle next to yours is not doing his job as he should--it isn't your business unless his failure to perform affects you. Were it otherwise, you'd be critiquing and policing the world, and all that would do is make you stressed and send you to an early grave.
Every time I mess up or ruin whatever is that I'm working on, my dad asked me if I learn something and then he quotes Thomas Edison or Ben Franklin, and then he says if I learned something and I didn't really fail.
I have hard time finding a balance of not being to tell straight whats wrong with product and not acting like I am sugar coating, how do we develop a skill, specially in context when the product is going down hill and its clear that it will dead soon.
Ash, stop selling that product. There is no skill set for hiding product defects from potential consumers. You shouldn't do it in the first place. Stick to good products you can be proud to sell.
Exactly, most people are so resistant to complimenting people(outright), why? Because they're afraid you might be beating them in some way, or you might have the upper hand in some way, because everything is a competition, right? My therapist recently said: "you're kinda funny", not simply, "you're funny", in this example, it was immediately obvious to me, she was in a competition with me(she can't help it), this social jousting everyone seems to be in. Honestly, most people are trying to bring people down(not up), for the exact same reason I've illustrated above. I'd like to see you focus on specific cultures who seem to be all about bringing their people down. I watch a lot of combat sports and you'll see the obvious difference in nicknames by culture, some are very supportive and strong and others are very goofy and demeaning. One in particular, a fighter from Brazil, his nickname is "shoeface", in the US, I'd be hard to find a fighter with something comparable to "shoeface", but in Latin American, it's extremely common to see these types of nicknames. Another extremely rude thing specific to Latin America is people (usually females) will directly say to your face, you've gotten very fat, or you look too skinny. To me, these people are just simple minded and boring, obviously because they're so hyper focused on appearance instead of something interesting. My wife's mom recently said this to my sister in-law and it's definitely not helpful and only hurtful. This is a great channel but I have a passport with a lot of stamps in it, and from my extensive experience, most people are garbage, don't believe me, get your passport and get on a flight, go meet people, most people are trying to bring people down, because they're insecure and living in fear, the fear that you might have some advantage over them.
Victor, my passport is in tatters from use over the last 15 years. Having said that--I think most people are well-intentioned and have good hearts. I see things differently from the way you see them.
I am.. I’ve shared your content with people I care about. Your valuable information made a meaningful difference in regards to an overbearing family member. I was lucky to come across your channel several years ago and happily rediscovered it recently. I’m back looking for guidance regarding how to kindly encourage aggressive sales people to back up a bit, it’s a pet peeve for me when they breathe down my neck, especially when I’ve already decided to purchase clothing for example before even entering the store. Thanks again for sharing your expertise I’ll continue to recommend your content to the young adults in my family
Hey Living, I'm not certain that critiquing ABUSIVE (and I use the word advisedly) people is effective at any point. Leaving them would be much healthier.
@@TheWizardOfWords I usually try to use this appropriate communication you teach, but the world out here is way off track. Do you ever get inappropriate Birthday cards? Tell viewers if they lack empathy to take their cards to a sales person and ask for help. Not Having empathy maybe the problem with most cruel feedback.
Norwich, first I would like to thank you for your membership. It is much appreciated. Second I'd suggest you go to my YT channel and search out the shorts. Several deal with unsolicited criticism and inappropriate questions and comments. Once you find the short, click the link that will tell you the long from which the short was taken. You should find several--including coworkers who "think they're your boss" so they criticize your work--unsolicited criticism.
@@TheWizardOfWords 😂 It's OK - as one of those ppl who thought it was my personal job to go around correcting everyone in the universe, somebody has to tell us it's not! Plus, your training videos are so helpful! (As was learning that complaining is not a great topic for conversation... imagine that!)
My mom is friends with a woman who is needy! For example, my mom told me that this woman called the house 3 times in a day asking what my mom and dad thought of the cookies she made for them. Here's the problem: Cooking is not the woman's forte. Most of the food she cooks is terrible! Therefore, my mom struggles with the right words to say to her. Instead, my mom simply tells her that the cookies/food were wonderful, even though they're not. How can my mom handle this situation with more class and finesse?
Betsy, I think your mom is handling things with class and finesse. She is remembering that when you have to choose between being kind and being right--choose kind. :) No hurt feelings; friendship maintained; didn't cost Mom anything; friend feels good. Wins all the way around.
@@TheWizardOfWords after I wrote this, I thought about it for a moment and realized that she was handling it with class and finesse. Thank you for your reply!
@@TheWizardOfWords so whenever i say something to someone they reply with "urmom" but how can I respond on someone saying "urmom"... If you don't get it just forget it but thanks for the effort
OK I Thiiiiink I meant the 23 &24, not the 34 and 24 I think. Maybe that's why people don't like me. Maybe my mother has been right all along.
🤣
For whatever it's worth, I like you. I appreciate the cleaver way you put your videos together! You are fun, energetic, infomative and down to earth. Love your mom, but take her criticism with many grains of salt.
@@jimlowry2399 It's worth a lot, and thank you! I do love my mom; she provides me with not only entertainment--but so many communication topics! :)
@@fightintheshade :) :)
@@jimlowry2399 'cleaver'.>Lol spell checker gotcha
Your ability to focus on what is most important and guide us there, is a blessing ray of light. Thank You Dan!
You're welcome, Joyce.
You out did yourself on this one! I wish everyone followed you!
Thank you Rickie; I'm working towards doing a daily program that deals with truly enlightened communication that stems from a place of compassion and mindfulness. This hateful speech and hatefully divisive actions will destroy our world. I believe it's possible to change the global dialogue one conversation at a time. At a minimum we can transform our own little area of the world, and that's a good start.
Tactful, tasteful, full of insight, & flippin’ Hilarious to boot!!!! Love you & your videos, Dan!!! 😃👍🏼
Thank you Randi, and love right back at you.
@@TheWizardOfWords You’re very welcome.
Going forward I am going to tell my mother how WONDERFUL she is because she is! Likewise my father (who has passed) was WONDERFUL and I know I told him that often. And my brother and my nephew and so many of my friends--and yes, you Jim--YOU ARE ALL WONDERFUL.
Dan, you are so amazingly insightful and wise! I used to watch you and lost you for years...so happy RUclips popped you up in my screen today!
Hey Vanessa, subscribe AND hit the notifications button and we'll never lose each other again!
@@TheWizardOfWords you are so wise
Thanks for clearing up the question "What do You think" I am guilty of criticizing when asked that question since I haven't been taught the true meaning of that question
Dylan, we all have a great deal of growth ahead of us--that means everybody and always.
Saaaaame. Are you neuro-divergent? (You don't have to answer that.) We have the "problem" of taking ppl literally, when they rarely mean it that way. Tends to get us into all kinds of trouble. Having someone spell it out like this is, indeed, quite helpful
We are all just kids. THAT is 100% truth. I always remember them as a little boy or girl and it changes my perception of them or the situation.
I’m new here I’ve been watching a few videos a day for a couple days now and I’m growing so much. I’m learning so much.
Very happy to hear that Amandalorian. Please share these videos.
You delivered this lesson with amazing clarity. Thank you!
Thank you for giving us the correct words to use. I’m aware there have been many times I used the wrong language and failed at conveying what I really meant. It’s so disappointing to realise that my compliment wasn’t heard in the way that I intended it to sooth & nurture. Great advice & tips Dan!
Glad it was helpful, Annie.
7:07 soooo true!
8:18 I'm an English Teacher and I'm totally going to use it in my classes!❤️❤️❤️❤️
Your kindness and knowledge is very helpful. I am learning so many real life skills I wish I had in earlier years. Hoping young people are watching your videos 👍🏻
JustMeJo, I hope young people are tuning in and I hope older people don't tune out. We're never too old to learn and grow, right?
So brilliant. Very illuminating. I feel at the root of your teaching is kindness and that’s so amazing. Also, gorgeous skin. 😊
The skin--such as it is--is thanks to my father. And I hope I always live up to your comment, S.
I want to like this comment 100x
You are lovely. You are helping people so much! I know I am so flawed but I want to be more lovable.
Ronni, we're all flawed and we're all a work in progress. I think the trick is to always be trying to be the best version of you possible.
I love your professional advice, Dan.
I use the marketing "touch the shoulder" along with the appropriate active voice when I praise my kids, and it works. There's a 180 change when I remember to do it.
You bet it works. Now if only MY mother would have done that. (Sometimes I write these things to get her goat--but lately she's been hiding it so well I can't get to it.)
You are an amazing human being. Thanks Dan!
Omg I am so critical and seem to go down that negative vortex 😂 I’m learning so much such as remembering the passive voice and active voice.
You got this!
U r absolutely a God given person to me..love all on what “u shld say n not say”. & on being nice..treat pple the way u want to b treated..I love how u speak & express ur speak I can watch u allll day😊
Thanks much Willow Wind and I hope you watch and then spread these videos around liberally.
You know you’re changing lives everyday😊 good on you. Thanks alot
Thing is - what I really think is written all over my face! Oh God - as much as I love your videos - I have now watched 3 in a row - and I really don’t think I can show myself in public ever again.
Hey Rum Do! You're going to have to fill me in a little here. I know you're joking (I'm not as dense as I look) but--having said that--remember that whatever you're thinking, you can say it in a loving way. Now if you are thinking things that are not loving, well, go to my store at danoconnortraining.com and buy The Nine Principles. YOU WILL THANK ME.
@@TheWizardOfWords Thanks for your response Dan. I’ve had difficulties with people due to a lack of assertiveness and boundaries and vulnerability and empathy. But I suppose cynicism is not a long term solution! I browsed your shop - perhaps it would be better to become a member (and I would get The 9 Principles free) However it says your payment page is not secure (I’m in the UK) but I may just go ahead anyway. Thanks for your help. Xx 💋
This is something I have very conflicting thoughts/feelings on. I am a Virgo, and true to Virgo nature, I am very analytical & precise, and am always working on personal growth. Virgos tend to appreciate the tips & pointers, & info that will help guide us toward our never-ending quest for growth & improvement. When I ask someone their opinion of something, I truly WANT their opinion, whether positive or negative. To me, it is actually more hurtful for someone to respond with something positive simply to be kind rather than their ACTUAL thought/opinion, b/c that doesn’t actually HELP me. I’m not saying it’s ok to be mean or overly harsh; obviously wording is important. I’m simply saying that as someone who values honesty & true helpfulness over being disingenuous, it is EXTREMELY difficult for me to respond in a way that is conflicting to what I truly think whenever I’m asked. That feels like a lie and a disservice. However, clearly not everyone feels this way. Responding in a positive way just to be supportive without actually being constructive (IF it’s something that would actually be helpful to them) and finding the right words in which to do that is something I have struggled with my entire life.
My Virgo Moon and Capricorn rising resonates with this statement. Just tell me straight and then I know when you do give praise, it's earned 😊
There’s always room for tact & positivity when giving feedback. It doesn’t have to be critical, even if there are actually errors. Negativity is draining, there’s ways to deliver unfavorable information in a tactful way.
@@MamaBear0823 I definitely agree! I was just raised in a family who either didn't know better or didn't care, so I've spent my adult life trying to unlearn that method of communication and learn to be positive in how I deliver something. I think the combo of upbringing and my astro components just presents the facts on my brain without the niceties of the positive spin. As positive as I FEEL, I still struggle to get it across in a "sweet" way. My brain doesn't seem to offer me much "fluff". 😟
I think there's room for criticism in a kind, tactful way that's also helpful. If someone asks you what you think you can use positive comments along with places for improvement. In my mind, telling someone they tried hard and then letting them embarrass themselves in front of a group of people isn't kind at all. In fact, I think it's toxic positivity.
I just found you and I’m thankful.
Thank you, very good advice. YOU are a positive force for good in the world 😊
Many thanks. We choose whether to spread light or darkness, don't you think? In all circumstances, we can choose our reactions. I've never seen the benefit of spreading darkness-pain--hurt.
Can you do a video on facial expressions. I feel that people don't take me seriously because of my attitude. My emotions are expressed on my face even when I am saying something valid but is not taken serious because of these facial expressions.
Ay Yo, unless I could actually see your facial expressions, I don't think I can be of much help.
Damn, this is such a great tip. My struggle is when I routinely get late work that clearly no one put any effort into and then I have to somehow turn that around with expectation management and positivity. It’s really hard to do cause to be honest with you. I feel like people take advantage and they don’t want the feedback they just wanna be lazy and not do their work and they know that if people are nice to them, they can keep up that crap and I constantly wrestle with that boundary because I do feel like the tools to deliver that are not always clear.
You are so good at breaking down general principles. I find that a lot of communication experts do not! Please could you break down why unsolicited advice is bad, and when you should give advise ?
Give advice only when asked, Ay Yo. If you aren't asked, don't give it. And when you do give advice, give it kindly.
I just discovered you this morning and have to say, I very much appreciate you for giving me these life/work lessons. You're pretty awesome... and I can tell you're genuinely a good human-being. Thanks again. Take care.
I think our society doesn't understand what differentiation is, hence the growing animosity (mostly in the workplace) socially. Definitely asking whether someone actually wants a critique or not will save possible hurt feelings!! Thank you. I'm generally very supportive of everyone, but this would help me know what is actually going on :)
Happy to help, Katie.
Dan why couldn't you have been my brother; too old 2be learning this now. Yes am a boomer. 72 in June, still job hunting, so tired of all this nonsense but thank u!! ❤ Glad2 find You!!
Just be glad my mother wasn't your sister :() : JUST KIDDING, MOM.
I loved English classes n diagramming sentences , although I never would have admitted it in school.
:)
This behavior is what my boss does to me, after I was promoted to management. I appreciate these helpful nuggets.
Thanks Mc; I appreciate your message.
Dan, this is one of my absolute favorite videos of yours. I have replayed this many many times.
(I was an odd child, and even though I never cared about getting good grades, I WAS obsessed with sentence structure. I remember 7th grade vividly and diagraming sentences was my favorite thing to do.
I left a comment a few months ago on a another video remarking on how essential these videos have been in my life, and restructuring my relationships. Things are still improving and I continue to refer clients to your videos(while they are stranded in my chair 😆)
Candice Berg thank you so much for your kind words and also for referring clients to this site--while they are stranded in your chair! :) OMIGOD--diagramming. My mother never let me hear the end of it. She had a nun in 8th grade that was big on diagramming and she loved it and forced it on me. I don't think I've thanked her for that lately. OK, WHERE DOES THE "LATELY" GO IN THE DIAGRAM? Tell me THAT, Candice!
Your so smart...I just love your channel...thank you so much for the insight...God bless 😇❤
That was wonderful- lots to think about and practice!
Thanks, Diane, and thank you also for highlighting PRACTICE.
Another great video. Thank you
Thanks a million for the cutting edge information Dan!
You're welcome, Dave. Thanks for writing and I hope you subscribed and share.
@@TheWizardOfWords Absolutely! How can I not be subscribed and sharing your content. You're a rock star on here...the # 1 authority on communication. I share your videos every time I watch them.
@@TheFredrico77 Thanks much, Dave. I appreciate your comments :)
Your teachings are life-changing & you are wonderful at what you do. NOW, tell us how to get skin and eyelashes like yours!😀❤️Oh, I love to diagram sentences!
Well, let's see-- have you met my father??? :) :) :)
Your glowing! Looking so good!
My dermatologist thanks you and so do I Prissy. :)
The content is so great! It's very clear, simple and understandable.
My only question is how soon part 3 is coming?
I have been binge watching all your videos because I'm starting a new job outside the military and I really hope this helps because God knows none of this matters in the military haha. These videos are really well made and very enjoyable. I cant wait to put these skills to use!
Many thanks J2KO.
@@TheWizardOfWords no thank you for your videos
Man that hits hard... you put effort in and it shows... but it’s actually showing how little effort they put in so you not exactly lying or fibbing
Things were said. Mistakes were made. Things were forgotten, that ought not to have been forgotten.
You're so right, and especially when communicating in an office environment, in a situation where I have to say something that is negative/critical, I will deliberately say/write it in the passive voice.
I really have to be aware of what I say and how I come across, because I do tend to be critical (and am also a proofreader) (plus, I have RBF, which doesn't help, so I have to be sure to be extra-pleasant). But, hey -- I'm a work in progress, and with fine teachers like you, I'm sure to make progress! I'm proud to be a subscriber!
Rosetta, as I'm sure you know, we are all works in progress. Kudos to you for working on the areas in which you feel you need improvement. If we all did that, we'd all be a little better, a little kinder, and no doubt a little happier each day.
If I hadn’t already subscribed and purchased your product.. I would after watching this video. Game changer!🤩
Please do more videos like this, you really added value to my life. The audio quality doesn't even do justice to your message.
I intend to do regular live shows on topics such as this, Steve, so I hope you smashed the notifications button. :)
@@TheWizardOfWords the notification button got smashed
Thank you for covering these 3 topics. Very crucial which people take lightly and hurt others.
You're welcome, and once again--I'm working on the third video.
I've noticed critical people seem to think they are perfect. When it's far from that.
Thankfully NONE of us is perfect. It's hard enough to just do our best.
Maybe they are stuck...like Dan said....they aren't looking at it correctly....maybe???
🤣🤣❤️ Well isn't that the darn truth lol
Dan you are simply the BEST!!!!!!
Love your content! Thank you for shinning your light.
You are so welcome!
A friend of ours was always put on the spot when it came to folks newborn babies. Her response was “ just breath taking “ 👀 and left it at that. I always thought that was funny because- one could take that either way 😂 with or without a positive or negative opinion
The edit of this video is on point 😆😆 changing your voice Wishing I could do that in real life permanently 😝😝😝
Me too, Jose. However, some people might not be amused :)
Do you have any advice on practicing conversation skills by yourself in the pandemic, especially difficult situations? I cannot find anyone willing to help me practice during the pandemic.
I'm looking for someone to help me practice communication skills too. I'm lonely, isolated and looking for some one to talk to, some one to practice my communication and socialization skills on too.
Buffer and Each and Everything--press the notification button because I'm going to be doing regular live shows. You might not be able to practice, but I think it might help with the feeling of isolation.
This is so important, wow! I wish I saw this in Jan-2021.. specially in context of a product.
Please read my previous email response to you.
@@TheWizardOfWords Your videos have helped me so much, keep doing the great work, I am going to be VIP-member of yours soon...
Beautifully said :)
Yes 🙌 to a world 🌎 of more kindness!
Thank you Dan! 😉
Hey, YOU LIKE MY MOTHER, don't you??? I know you :)
If only we had you as our English teacher!
Hi. I'm liking this series. When is part 3 coming out?
I'm working on that, Rob. Not the next video, but the one after that :)
Thanks. I need this right now.
At 4:56, made me think of Jenna Marbles and what happened to her. It was essentially what you were talking about at that time stamp. Was that a nod to her as an example? If not then, you accidentally made a brilliant little shout out to a wonderful person who people did pick at. Just wanted to note that, was a pretty neat and fitting little connection.
Thank you this was very helpful.
Glad it was helpful, JMC.
would that telling people how proud you are of them also count if you are in the middle of a conversation and they're telling you about something good that happened in their life and the thing I tend to say is wow that's so impressive that this event happened I'm happy for you and I'm cheering you on from where I am if I can't feel happy in my life I want to celebrate you in your life
What you are talking about, the passive or active voice is the difference between a genuine or bogus apology. For instance, if someone says, "I'm sorry for doing such and such" is genuine, but if they say "I'm sorry such and such happened.", that is not genuine.
Absolutely. The second is just a clever way of not taking responsibility in the first place. It reminds me of something my grandfather once said--tongue-in-cheek of course. "If I've done anything for which I'm sorry, I'm willing to accept your forgiveness." I laughed out loud when he said that because it was meant to be funny. HOWEVER, my mother used it once on someone who was on her last nerve--and he thanked her and that was the end of that. Go figure.
Brilliant. Thank you.
Hi. Is video #3 still in the making? Cheers.
i cant lie and i dont want people to lie to me
besides my criticism comes from a place of unawareness and complete purity/humility/self-improvement.
Rami, you think that unawareness lends itself to complete purity/humility/self-improvement? So if you are totally unaware, you are totally pure/humble/and improved? I would think the opposite might be true.
Thanks for sharing
You're welcome Shagufta! And Hello from across the pond (so to speak)!
@@TheWizardOfWords I've learnt a lot from you.
I have a family member who gives unsolicited advise and mentions how at fault I am. I responded that was not my intention,when they claimed I hurt their feelings. They play the victim. They responded with a comment on how they will remind me that it’s not the first time. They are angry because they are aggressive and I avoid them when they’re being aggressive. This family member is very manipulative and is very hard to deal with.
people once had many children -to keep them at Bay and find reading time, we placed a bowl of soapy water nearby.
Good grief. I'm glad my mother didn't think of that :) :) OH WAIT--YOU DIDN'T MEAN TO WASH THEIR MOUTHS. whew
Exactly
:) ;) Thanks, Crystal.
I struggle a bit with criticism, I like things done properly and I appreciate good quality…..and a lot of people just do as little as possible with minimum effort and just don’t care, this apply to any activity……I try to be kind about this, but still difficult when you see just a bad attitude
I hear you, Carlos. One thing you might bear in mind is that your criticism of a job poorly done isn't constructive or warranted unless what you are seeing impacts you. (Obviously it's different if your JOB is to inspect something; then critique away!) If, for example, the person in the cubicle next to yours is not doing his job as he should--it isn't your business unless his failure to perform affects you. Were it otherwise, you'd be critiquing and policing the world, and all that would do is make you stressed and send you to an early grave.
I saw my mom crush a lady's soul once. Horrific. Totally oblivious.
You are so right!!
And soooo funny😂 gosh you make me laugh so much!!
Is part 3 available?
Every time I mess up or ruin whatever is that I'm working on, my dad asked me if I learn something and then he quotes Thomas Edison or Ben Franklin, and then he says if I learned something and I didn't really fail.
I love that♡
Thank God every day for that dad of yours, Martha. I'll bet you already do.
Me too, Hayley B.
Uploading new
I have hard time finding a balance of not being to tell straight whats wrong with product and not acting like I am sugar coating, how do we develop a skill, specially in context when the product is going down hill and its clear that it will dead soon.
Ash, stop selling that product. There is no skill set for hiding product defects from potential consumers. You shouldn't do it in the first place. Stick to good products you can be proud to sell.
Is Part 3 Exclusive for Patreon subscribers?
Exactly, most people are so resistant to complimenting people(outright), why? Because they're afraid you might be beating them in some way, or you might have the upper hand in some way, because everything is a competition, right? My therapist recently said: "you're kinda funny", not simply, "you're funny", in this example, it was immediately obvious to me, she was in a competition with me(she can't help it), this social jousting everyone seems to be in. Honestly, most people are trying to bring people down(not up), for the exact same reason I've illustrated above. I'd like to see you focus on specific cultures who seem to be all about bringing their people down. I watch a lot of combat sports and you'll see the obvious difference in nicknames by culture, some are very supportive and strong and others are very goofy and demeaning. One in particular, a fighter from Brazil, his nickname is "shoeface", in the US, I'd be hard to find a fighter with something comparable to "shoeface", but in Latin American, it's extremely common to see these types of nicknames. Another extremely rude thing specific to Latin America is people (usually females) will directly say to your face, you've gotten very fat, or you look too skinny. To me, these people are just simple minded and boring, obviously because they're so hyper focused on appearance instead of something interesting. My wife's mom recently said this to my sister in-law and it's definitely not helpful and only hurtful. This is a great channel but I have a passport with a lot of stamps in it, and from my extensive experience, most people are garbage, don't believe me, get your passport and get on a flight, go meet people, most people are trying to bring people down, because they're insecure and living in fear, the fear that you might have some advantage over them.
Victor, my passport is in tatters from use over the last 15 years. Having said that--I think most people are well-intentioned and have good hearts. I see things differently from the way you see them.
Amazing content
Thank you Honor. Please subscribe, like, and share--and there will be more coming.
I am.. I’ve shared your content with people I care about. Your valuable information made a meaningful difference in regards to an overbearing family member. I was lucky to come across your channel several years ago and happily rediscovered it recently. I’m back looking for guidance regarding how to kindly encourage aggressive sales people to back up a bit, it’s a pet peeve for me when they breathe down my neck, especially when I’ve already decided to purchase clothing for example before even entering the store.
Thanks again for sharing your expertise I’ll continue to recommend your content to the young adults in my family
Love the English lesson. I get it
:)
I can't find a third part of the series.... Help pls 😅
I'm afraid I stopped with two, Alesksey.
@@TheWizardOfWords Why.... 😭
My question is how does one respond to someone who comes in and does exactly what you said not to do.
What is your relationship to this person and what is the environment, i.e. home? Work?
@@TheWizardOfWords I’ve actually had both, home ( from a relative) & the place where I volunteer as an EMT (another volunteer)
@@janicekennedy2047 Aaaaaand no answer from him.
what happened to part three? I can’t find it
It is yet to be delivered.
@@TheWizardOfWords looking forward to it.
Interesting🤔So true.
I know! I wait until they are abusive
for 5 years. Then it ain't pretty when I critique them.
Hey Living, I'm not certain that critiquing ABUSIVE (and I use the word advisedly) people is effective at any point. Leaving them would be much healthier.
@@TheWizardOfWords I usually try to use this appropriate communication you teach, but the world out here is way off track.
Do you ever get inappropriate Birthday cards? Tell viewers if they lack empathy to take their cards to a sales person and ask for help. Not
Having empathy maybe the problem with most cruel feedback.
Awesome 👏
2:22 what do you say to someone who offers unsolicited criticism
Norwich, first I would like to thank you for your membership. It is much appreciated. Second I'd suggest you go to my YT channel and search out the shorts. Several deal with unsolicited criticism and inappropriate questions and comments. Once you find the short, click the link that will tell you the long from which the short was taken. You should find several--including coworkers who "think they're your boss" so they criticize your work--unsolicited criticism.
Where is part 3?
Coming video after next, General Videos.
Oh look! A video just for me!! 😂😂😂
OMIGOD I HOPE NOT!
@@TheWizardOfWords 😂 It's OK - as one of those ppl who thought it was my personal job to go around correcting everyone in the universe, somebody has to tell us it's not! Plus, your training videos are so helpful! (As was learning that complaining is not a great topic for conversation... imagine that!)
I'm going to make a counter video entitled "why I don't care that no one likes me".
No one likes you?
My mom is friends with a woman who is needy! For example, my mom told me that this woman called the house 3 times in a day asking what my mom and dad thought of the cookies she made for them. Here's the problem: Cooking is not the woman's forte. Most of the food she cooks is terrible! Therefore, my mom struggles with the right words to say to her. Instead, my mom simply tells her that the cookies/food were wonderful, even though they're not. How can my mom handle this situation with more class and finesse?
Maybe she could offer to cook/bake with her one day after covid is over and share a very special recipe with her.
Betsy, I think your mom is handling things with class and finesse. She is remembering that when you have to choose between being kind and being right--choose kind. :) No hurt feelings; friendship maintained; didn't cost Mom anything; friend feels good. Wins all the way around.
Lisa, that's a good one!
@@TheWizardOfWords after I wrote this, I thought about it for a moment and realized that she was handling it with class and finesse. Thank you for your reply!
Min 11:00
Perfect advise to deal with our current generation..😜😁
Whay I hate people soooo much?!!!!!!
that too
Perfect video.
👍
Many thanks, Priceless.
I was wondering if you could help me with this problem, so last days I'm having the problem of getting "ur mom" as reply but how can i respond on it
?
Not following you, 2 weeks, and I think Peace to all is flummoxed as well.
?????? Hi Peace. I'm not understanding this either :(
@@TheWizardOfWords so whenever i say something to someone they reply with "urmom" but how can I respond on someone saying "urmom"... If you don't get it just forget it but thanks for the effort
Proverbs 9:8