When she's talking about the things that make her happy and how grateful she is to be alive, her tics vanish almost completely. I think that's unfathomably beautiful.
When she was speaking on Reckful passing I completely forgot she suffered from Tourettes. It seems like she tics less when she has a good train of thought going.
I noticed that too! It's so cool to see! I'm currently quite early in the video, and I am now wondering if she is not sleeping to compensate for being better to herself in other ways... inner bullies can be tricky that way
Yeah! First thing i noticed were the decor on the background and i laughed out of joy! I don't know, these little things mean so much to me knowing the bits of things I know about her so far. 🤗
@JonnyC 289 well, the way she explained that it works in the first interview is that her mind rushes to think of all the things that would be inappropriate to say so that she doesn't accidentally say them. Ironically, her Tourette syndrome causes her to just spout out exactly what she's most afraid of saying at a moment of stress. That was my very loose paraphrase, so I might have used a few wrong words.
@johnmann / Is it really that difficult for you to see other combinations of skeletal, muscular, nervous systems, and thought as other people? They are humans just like you with personal desires. Not everybody falls under your baseless & mindless umbrella you degenerate.
@@Yanimalyan yeah, it is tough but my friends are used to it and used to me dropping brutal truth bombs on them lol. I'm doing ok, just have a tough time understanding people sometimes.
1:03:36 he totally nailed it. She is basically to kind for her own good. Despite popular belief, kindness and forgiveness don't necessarily lead to good consequences. You need to be able to be stern with certain people in certain situations or they will continue to pursue you / exploit you. She needs to get in touch with her shadow (as Carl Jung puts it)
To be fully honest, yeah, I'm sure that her forgiveness, kindness and openness to awkward people is incredibly appealing to stalker types; but the other half is her vulnerability and all the bad stuff that has happened to her. Humans are programmed to want to be close to and to protect vulnerable people (that's a primal emotion associated with taking care of children). Unfortunately, it's not always altruistic, the thought pattern can also go "If I'm the only good thing in her life, then of course she'll love me and be dependent on me and need me. Then I can keep her in a tiny little box and have her all to myself". It's a bit of a power fantasy, in a way. It can be extremely appealing to someone to fill the role of being "THE good person. The savior", it's a huge ego boost.
Funny, this is literally me. I've known about this aspect of me for pretty much my whole life, and I'm still working on fixing it. It's weird having my tendencies written out in a comment like I'm some sort of boogeyman or something.
@@Hedeyasu2 strive for that free honest love that can reflect the purest of your being on others and learn to let go and enjoy life in its whole. that is the key my brother
Vulnerable people = liability I’m gonna have to call bullshit on wanting to take care of vulnerable people, especially if we’re talking about it through the context of instincts. Everything you said is subjective and a huge generalization.
"Suffering is a privilege" at base value that might sounds weird but when you contextualize it the way Anita did, she made it a very profound way of viewing life. As finite life is it is a privilege to experience things good and bad. And I think her outlook on everything is so smart and wise. She's really dope.
I would add that "Choosing your suffering is a privilege". There is no meaning in a life full of meaningless suffering like if you were kept by the fbi and tortured 24/7. But being able to choose your suffering like sacrificing your time and mental energy to get a degree is what gives people meanings. It's working toward a goal and making progress that gives positive emotion
@@authentic_path well the idea is choice and even the choice of how u choose pain to an extent is privilege u gotta learn to contexualize these like this comment
Dr. K was leading her to the answers he wanted to get out of her. It's very clear she is adverse to in anyway putting herself first. I think you guys are missing the point. She's not this ultra do gooder who only cares about others. It's a coping mechanism she's a people pleaser because people and life have been extremely cruel to her so she does it to protect herself from people adding more pain to her life by placating them. That doesn't make her a bad person by any means but I don't see the point in putting her on a pedestal. I don't think she is necessarily doing it for reasons other than it makes her feel at ease.
@@user-un8jx8yo7z Well what would you consider a good person. She has been unhealthily conditioned to please those other than herself. She has no agency for defense and can't innact lasting change on her mind-state, yet she has good self reflection practices. I personally think she would he more well-rounded if she were to be assertive and asses what she requires as a human being rather than to appease others. She is a wonderful person with inherent desires to care for others that fostered from childhood (considering her rabbit story). It also looks like her body punishes her for her own indulgence and relaxation. She vomits 6-7 times a day which likely discourages regular eating habits. And she is prone to lung pain and checking if she sleeps while vomiting. Her ticks also increase when her mind isn't constantly thinking intensely. She has been conditioned, bullied, abused and alienated due to her condition and it has subsequently exacerbated her issues.
She's so wise, she has seriously gotten the best out of the circumstances she has been dealt with. She gives me new motivation that I can do stuff even if I was dealt bad hands. Thank you Anita
Such a strange thing to hear somebody talk about, people being drawn to you....I'm the opposite, I feel invisible which I think I secretly enjoy. It feels like life is almost something I'm looking at through a screen. I also find it really easy to isolate conversations in a busy environments which definitely keeps me entertained.
Same here ...it's a very weird thing. While it has its benefits, it also kind of annoys me 🤷🏻♂️ .....also the screen thing is also true for me though that changes when I meditate.
I can't say if that's healthy or not, but maybe experiment with the other way around if you haven't ? Try a life style where you are a center of attention. Easier said than done but it might make you way happier.
I see too many men claiming they're in love with a streamer or RUclipsr. Rookie mistake. Do not mistake lust for love. Love at first sight is mostly a bunch of bullshit. You can't love someone and not actually know them.
With Anita though going by this video, I feel it’s her intoxicating attitude as Dr. K says, that people fall for. Not the appearance. So if people fall for her on stream, it does make sense to a point.
@@AshWickramasinghe It's a combination of looks and personality, but it's also the fact that she comes off as more accessible because of her disability. She herself has spoken about this. The people "falling for her" are not actually falling for her but they aren't experienced enough to know the difference. It's just a lot of insecure or emotionally damaged young men who think she's perfect for them because she's flawed too and seems more open and understanding of their flaws. The honest truth is, if she wasn't physically attractive, most of them wouldn't feel the same at all. Anita is a perfect storm for these guys. Flawed, attractive, intelligent, understanding and she's a streamer, so you have the parasocial thing.
@@AshWickramasinghe lust isn't just about looks but personality as well. Confusing love for someone you never met with genuine connection is just what a stalker would think
the start of the “why are you happy?” section was just so... genuine? it made me cry seeing how anita clearly has gratitude and a genuine, real attitude towards how she lives and appreciates her life. to see someone so genuine and passionate about something, it really triggers an emotional avalanche. at least for me.
Dude she's like my dream best friend. She's literally so inspiring and cool. I hope one day I can get through to the other side of my mental health issues and flourish the way she seems to have been able to. It's really admirable how she can be so open about her struggles, and I hope that she knows how much of an impact that has on others that are struggling and can relate.
I had very similar experiences with men when I was in my early 20's And I did actually have someone tell me I needed to be better at controlling the "energy" I gave off which really offended me, but I eventually basically became jaded and guarded to the point where I stopped being so open and friendly towards others. I felt like I was being too warm and nice and people either tried to take advantage of that or people thought that meant their was a chance my feelings would eventually evolve into something more. Its sad. but I completely understood what she was going through in that regard.
The ones who are geniunely nice give off an energy that is seen as so special in western culture, we misinterpret it as flirting or sexual energy often because we are insecure and deprived of good geniune friendships and nice casual interactions.
@@Enderboii47 I see your point, I just disagree; I feel we interpret such energy as someone being a person of values we'd like to get closer to. Potentially to have that person around us as friends, potentially someone to spend our life with as a partner. Keep in mind; even though most of people feel that way about such energy, only people that have bad knowledge of boundaries turn out as stalkers/ dangerous creeps of other kind.
I love how K imedietely had diagnosis for the stalkers. I had it too. And I was wondering why woudln't he just say it straight. But here the experience in therapy showed... he simply waited. Dropped the topic and let her engage in a long monolog where she said it straight herhelf. And then she realized. K is class.
It seems obvious why people can't resist her. She is attractive. She has a good personality, she's very caring, kind, mature and articulate. And obviously she's the type of personality to attract insecure people because her kindness puts them at ease in a way it doesn't necessarily with others. When you feel really good around someone it is VERY intoxicating and you actively crave that experience. Insecure people gravitate towards her and consequently become infatuated. This can happen with confident people too but I'd generally say it's probably insecure people that go after her more.
Her experiences with friendship and family sound so tough and traumatizing, it's honestly insane that she's able to find a way to live a happy life and persevere despite everything. It's also very motivational.
Watched this live and was a fantastic interview. Anita has such a great aura and goodness about her we should all want to emulate. Looking forward to more with her!
@@ChairmanMeow1 I was thinking the same while watching this and the previous interview with her. It is very rare to find someone with so much introspection, especially being that young. I feel like an emotional idiot when listening how she is analysing herself and her own thoughts so well.
I'm so excited to listen to this followup! I couldn't help but notice there's art on Anita's walls and last time they talked, she said she never makes time for herself to the extent that she didn't put up the art she would enjoy.
I'm also an adult with Tourette's, I also live alone, and I also sometimes worry that I might choke on my food (or some other tic for that matter). This is the first time I've heard someone else mention the same thing. Thanks for making me feel less ridiculous.
I found myself glued to this interview... She comes off as a very sweet and caring person that is battling her own demons as most of us do all the time. I've never heard of her until now but I'm blown away by her intestinal fortitude allowing herself to lay it all on the line here on a somewhat public forum.
I am writing this long-ass comment to thank Anita, because as I barely discovered her channel a few days ago, she may have removed a huge stone in the way of my mental health journey. I want to thank you for having the balls to expose your vulnerabilities to such a degree and allow us to witness your self-reflection. It has been a few months that I am contemplating going to therapy, but I just discovered that what was blocking me was the fear of the unknown. Through this podcast, you revealed a part of what therapy could be like and what type of reflexions it could bring. It confirmed the intuition I had that it won't be easy, but it also felt really relieving in a way. Now, I feel like I am not only at a point where I think I should go to therapy, but I also want to. Thank you for being such an articulate and thoughtful being, and for raising awareness on Tourettes (another topic I learn alor about thanks to you). I genuinely hope that you get to a confortable place mentally-wise, but as you mentionned you feared to disappoint others' hopes, I also want to add that you have the right to be unokay and to share it with your community ♥️ Finally, thanks to Dr K, it is the first time I encounter your content, but you seem to be doing some great and important work here. (English is not my 1st langage, I hope what I wrote makes sense...)
I've only just found these interviews, but I've learned a lot from each one. I very much appreciate the gift you both have given by sharing your chats and being so open to complex conversations! Thank you.
Man, you're such a good interviewer and listener. And Antia, I've watched her channel and streams for a little while now, she's so interesting to listen to. This is a quality interview. I've learned a lot! Man I could really do with a chat with you guys...
I cried so much to this one. I never felt so seen. Despite our incredibly different backgrounds I found so many relatable moments and insights and she helped me recognize some things in myself that need healing. I cant thank her enough. I wish Dr K and Anita the absolute best
Having a difficult life do make you more smarter, nicer and wiser. I'm glad that even tho Anita have a lot of distractions in her life she keeps on rocking the right path. You miss Anita should be proud of yourself, since you seams to be better than at least 50% of the people. I wish all the best for you.
I watched this whole thing live ... When Anita realized that her "pheromones" that drive people crazy were most likely her forgiving personality at fault... That was crazy. Dr. K took all the clues and figured out a reliable answer. She is so forgiving because she knows that she will screw up sometime in the future since humans are not perfect, so she tends to put that mindset on everyone that gets too flirty or too close ... O_O
I think maybe her tourettes plays in a little bit. I think maybe if she says and acts very forgiving and gives good advice to people, she'll help change their mindset on life, and be more forgiving for people who also have tourettes. Like if she is out in public and her tourettes yells something stupid like "I have a b*mb", people would recognise it's not really her saying it, it's her tourettes. But people can be quick to judge sometimes.
@@sophiekerr8964 Her main tourettes seemingly being "blop, wink, whistle" (=pay attention > sexual invite > cat calling) might also send out massive invitation messaging to people. They might intellectually know that is is just tourettes but on a subconscious level people might get overwhelmed and almost hypnotized.
yeah but people who "mess up" direly ,like crossing boundaries, neeed to be taught that that is not an acceptable behaviour. Rejection and loss is a veeery good teacher especially when done right. In a way Anita is taking away people's lessons by forgiving them. If only she could see it that way, I bet she would learn to be more just than forgiving if she realises that that is what will incentivise the people to become better which in turn would make the world a better place
@@CapeEniEer 100%. Yeah, her forgiving people for doing those types of things makes those people think it is alright. Then that behavior gets put towards the next person.
I like how you (example around the 20:00) switch between an analytical approach ("this is what your words make me think as a professional") and an empathetic approach ("this is what your words make me feel as a person") with a clear demarcation. I haven't been able to find a therapist who does that but I think it's very helpful and that at least some semblance of emotional communication is necessary in this kind of work. I hope others in the field will see and follow your example.
You can really tell that Anita has utilized her adversities to make her a stronger person. Not many people can look within to get useful lessons and learn how to apply it to their life in a constructive way. Most people would blame the world and ask why me and maybe she has at some point with the amount of BS she's had to deal with I wouldn't blame her but out of that darkness she has seemingly found a light and I'm so glad Dr.K has given her a platform to talk about it. Very powerful stuff. Subscribed.
I remember when I found my little brother who'd hung himself. During that time I took care of everything (arranging the funeral, making calls, ect.). It was like I went in to a crisis mode, where I could do a lot with almost no sleep, and I felt fine. Things went back to normal after
That's fucking awful, I can't even fathom seeing anyone I know dead. You're really strong for having made it out the other side of an experience like that.
I find it so amazing to watch two incredibly intelligent people have such a deep conversation like this. I tend to play around in something like Rocket League while listening to talks, but with Dr. K and Anita it is like a constant stream of incredibly well put together thoughts that demands attention from A to Z. God damn are they amazing people :)
That came out of nowhere, I burst out laughing :D Espacially since her ticks were on the rare and light side throught the conversation it made it even more unexpected and funny :D
I love Anita, she's so genuine, kind and eloquent. Twitch and the world need more people like her. It's sad that she feels she can't trust or form connections with people because of her previous experiences. She's deserving of genuine, meaningful friendships.
Anita is so empathetic and kind-hearted that I think it allows her boundaries to be crossed. I've been there, it hurts to build barriers that aren't natural to you. I've also for some reason had people drawn to me that just don't have good intentions. At one point in life when I became more aware of this, I cut off nearly everyone in my life and started fresh. I am now cautious to who I allow to be a part of my life, and I am trying not to be skeptical of every person. Being social is a process when you've been through so much and were never given guidance on what is healthy or toxic. I now have a wonderful partner, great friends and I am very comfortable in my own skin and surroundings
Part of a conversation from one of my favorite books: "They do not offer pity. They offer sympathy." "The difference must be subtle indeed." "Pity is what we offer those who are so unfortunate we cannot conceive of living their lives. Sympathy is what we offer when we have lived their life, or when we've feared to have no choice but to live it. We offer it because we understand what the other person now faces."
Another great interview, Dr K! Thanks for what you do. Also thank you Anita for participating. Your story is very intriguing. I first heard of Anita from Dr. K's first interview and was very interested in who she is. This led me to her youtube highlights channel and it's one of the best things I could have done. After a long day and needing to unwind, I can watch one of her videos and always count on it making me smile, laugh, and brighten my day. LOL but that's probably just the pheromones, right? Thank you for that, Anita, in the off chance that you read this. And thank you again, Dr K, for the work that you do. I certainly hope you bring Anita back on for future interviews.
Anita: Im trying not to die in my sleep or choke to death when I eat, everyone around me tries to rape me and my mom is dying... Chat: OMG SHE SO PWETTY!
It is often the people who have been through pain that give the most amount of love in the world. It's a very very unfair and yet somehow beautiful thing in a very bizarre way. I just wish people did not have to reach such points in their lives to reveal the beauty a human heart can exert in the world.
Wow I also was depressed pretty much constantly for 13 years too and pretty suicidal for a few of those too. I've recently been a lot better. I don't feel depressed and I tend to be a lot more positive, fingers crossed it continues :)
Dont cross your fingers and hope, bro! Cultivate your mental garden to facilitate good vibes avoid negative things outside of your control. Keep up the good work, tho
I love interviews with this woman. She is very inspiring and introspective. I worked with a man who has turrets for years. This all seems very normal to me. Keep up the great work.
Thank you for sharing your experience Anita! I know Dr K said that he has never heard of an experience like this before. Anita, you are not alone. It IS terrifying, my experiences reflect yours very closely. From the stalker to the roomate panty stealers to not cutting off friendships before they became toxic, while displaying such justification of the empathy I based my forgiveness but also enablement on . You are such a ray of hope for anyone who has experienced trauma or gone through auto immune disorders. Hearing your story and your self reflection is so inspiring. Thank you Anita and Dr K. All the best from Canada.
1:24:45 and at the detriment of others. People gotta realize that responding with forgiveness about any and every action around us hurts the forgiver short term (in the way that these actions are allowed and wont stop), they hurt the forgiver in the long term (in the way that you'd allow them in the future, with more people and more scenarios) but also hurts the abuser long term by letting him get away with it, which reinforces a habit.
Dr. K is what I think of an ideal therapist. He has genuin concern and an inviting way of speaking, like he is interested in your thoughts. I'm sure I'd be able to trust my full thoughts with him and go out like I've had a massage for my mental environment.
Big respect to both of you, this is so heart warming, I actually really needed this, I'm at the age and point in my life where I'm beginning to question and philosophize deep life subjects etc and it's a lot of stress, thank you :)
1:06:58 "Why are you so forgiving?" she already answered that a couple of minutes before that, she literally said: "If I want to be forgiven, I have to forgive"
It kinda scares me how similar my mindset is to hers. I analyze my emotions so much that when I actually need them, or to express them, it leaves me monotone and numb. After having childhood trauma, which I believe she had as well(?), it was much easier to regulate and overanalyze my emotions (especially with a PTSD diagnosis that can fuck emotional regulation) than actually experience them. Burying myself in school and burnout to avoid my overworking brain is just kinda how I learned to cope with so little emotional assistance after my trauma. Fine is better than extremely depressed.
Listening to her speak during the Why are you happy? Section of the video was such a well thought out and deep reflection on her life and life in general that I understand when earlier she said people believe she scripts what she is saying. This was one of the better interviews on Dr K channel
Lol, I know this "being too good for your own good" thing. Coming from an abusive home with a narcissistic mother, struggling with boundaries etc. Abusive people instinctively find me, they sense my vulnerability.
As always this show invoked a lot of questions of myself and traumas and issues I'm dealing with. Was surprised she came back on so quick. Her streams on her channel too can often cause self reflection on my part. That's both a good thing and a bad thing as sometimes I'm not always ready to go diving within. I always come out better for it though with some new insights on life.
Based on what Anita says in this interview in regards to how she's tried being very direct and up front about just wanting friendship and not romantic relationships and clearly stating that if people hit on her she can't or might not be able to be friends with them anymore yet still forgiving them when they break these rules or boundaries, suggests to me (and i could be wrong) that Anita is very good at setting her boundaries but where she struggles is in enforcing them. . They dive into this near the end where they talk about Anita fearing reverting back to her past self by losing too many friendships and becoming someone who can't connect with people and this totally makes sense however, i think paradoxically or maybe just counter-intuitively this fear of losing friendships by being more judgmental or less forgiving might possibly be at least a part of the reason why some of her friendships go awry over time. . Anita also mentions how she realized that she was deserving of respect and that in the past she had allowed a lot of people to treat her poorly but didn't stop them and that realization was part of what allowed her to improve herself and her life yet it seems to me like she's doing this in regards to her friendships still to some degree. And just to be clear, i don't think Anita working on enforcing her boundaries more makes her a "less good person" in fact it's the opposite, i think it makes her a better person if she can manage to overcome this obstacle. Being able to enforce your boundaries is a good trait and quality to have. . While my wording or phrasing might not reflect it, i wanna be clarify that i don't mean or intend for this to be me blaming Anita. I simply want to share my observations in the vain hope that maybe it can help Anita or others in similar situations. (The dots in between paragraphs are simply there to space them apart because RUclips won't let me do it otherwise for some reason)
I wonder if there is another level to this tho. If she sets boundaries and confidently enforces them, then she will be even more attractive to others. That would mean she would once against attract those who are interested romantically rather than a place of friendship. Maybe that might be an additional component that (unconciously) prevents her from enforcing boundaries. Because it does not seem like the solution to what she truly wants.
@@SETHthegodofchaos good boundaries push away people who take advantage of vulnerabilities. Thats not a bad place to start, might eventually help attract more secure and trustworthy relationships. I see what you mean though how there could be a false perception which hinders change in behaviour. Hopefully things will get figured out in due time.
@@TheLionrazor Sure, but there are also vampires out there who idolize certain traits which they themselves dont have and believe if they attach themselves to someone, some of that trait will rub off onto them or the other person would teach it to them (believing they could do that in the first place and its not just part of their unconcious being). Its basically taking the easy way to get what they want. But usually that leads to disaster because the vampire tries to more and more suck the trait of the person while the other person with the trait is more and more shutting themselves off (essentially protecting themselves) which obviously is exhausting and frustrating for all involved and everybody will end up unhappy. And indeed it is still worth pursuing because in the ideal case you find someone who is on eye level with yourself and that person is attracted to those traits because they themselves value them on their partner and not primarily wanting to see them on themselves.
5:29 I think that sometimes after a long period of depression and feeling like shit, "settling" for a "just fine" life is a much much safer bet than trying to get something more, because there's a fear of possibly ending up in that crappy place again, and it can be too much of a risk
I think she could also benefit from not just laying down rules regarding her private relationships, but rules AND consequences. So not just "I'm not trying to hit on you, and I ask the same from you", but "if you're going to try to hit on my despite me saying no, then you'll need to leave the house and look for a new roommate" or something. Or "Listen, I told you not to try to hit on me, if you do anything like this one more time, then you'll need to move elsewhere" etc. It's not just laying down the rules for others, but for herself as well. Anyway, lovely content as always
I've received so much clarity about myself from watching these and I wanted to say thank you so much to both of you for giving this to us. ❤ AoE Healing ❤
Anita's tics over here reminding me to eat. Lol I've had my underwear stolen before. It's really a weird experience. Unfortunately he started stalking me not long after Those of us that feel we need extra forgiveness and kindness tend to give too many chances. She has what I learned to call "Pollyanna thinking". Finding something to be grateful for in any situation. Ex. In the book she gets crutches insteaf of a doll or toys and so she said that she was glad she didn't need them. The knee jerk reaction is to forgive, and then later realize we could have been, or were, in danger. Often I then brush it off. "But it wasn't that bad" sort of thing. This has gotten me hurt. We're too nice for our own damn good, basically. Also feeling "I'm not important" is pretty common I think, sadly. Feeling that loss of a relationship is almost worse than the assault. I handle that way better than grief. This was all so familiar; even down to not touching people for fear I'll give any kind of signal I'm interested. A bunch of this comes from trauma for me. Only speaking for myself, probably differs for everyone.
What a wonderful discussion between the two of you. It was so intoxicating to listen to, as with every minute, I felt like I could advance my own issues and personality. Thanks to both of you for making this available for everyone.
honestly.... I feel so bad for anita because some of the things shes worrying about or had problems with I am struggling with or did so in the past. It's nice to see that despite all the hardships shes doing fine with everything thrown at her. I'm not quite through the whole video but I just felt the need to say this. You rock! you've been through more many won't even go through in their whole life and you're more grown up than 90% of the people walking outside.
One thing in her, as a first impression is attractive to me is her "sad puppy eyes" and smooth voice and open expression. But the more she talks about various topics, it is apparent to me (in my opinion) she uses it as a strategy so other people don't hurt her, even if they don't know her. But that in fact accomplishes the opposite. It gives way to predators and/or gives the impression she is open to many more things than she in reality is willing to do.
very impressed with dr. k. hes a very smart guy. also nothing would make me happier than to be her friend and give her the love she deserves and try to help make life a little bit better for her. i have some issues myself ive never been able to deal with and has kind of paralyzed my life and not let me get the most out of my talents and have trouble with my own self esteem sometimes.
I think ALOT people would love to 'help' her, and might even end up liking her too much (especially if they feel lonely or have a lack of attention), which maybe causes one of her problems. Selecting the right people I think is very important for her, and then stay in that bubble a bit, or staying mostly alone (which isn't the ideal situation for her probably).
This dude knows what he's doing. Did not take long before he got her to tell the real reason why she is not sleeping. Hope she meet a truly nice person, so she can catch a break, and not deal with everything alone. She is seriously smart, be nice, and not a creep, if you cross her path. Please.
i was disappointed in Dr. K during all the talks he had with Anita, he does not have the guts to confront her on some of the lies she is telling about all the sexual harassment, he just goes along with, "yea it must be your pheromones, you must be super attractive to everyone yea makes perfect sense". instead of being a good psychologist and bursting that bubble of bullshit and confronting her about the destructive behaviour that causes these people to harrass her, because she is inviting these people into her life, she does not set up boundaries, she only complains when the damage has already been done, and then the cycle continues with the next creep she will befriend and let too close to her. she is clearly sending the wrong signals to the wrong people..
Her description of her experience with her flatmates, I relate to so much. Not for me personally, but my best friend in the world was like this. Not even necessarily what everyone would immediately call conventionally attractive, but everyone she met would fall for her eventually except me. I genuinely was the only person in her life who managed to be friends with her for 10 years without ever wanting to be with her in a romantic or sexual way. There were men who started out planning on just having casual sexual relationships with her only to try to propose a year later. Female friends who considered themselves straight found themselves obsessed with her. Even a gay male friend once told me got very confused after one of her birthday parties. Some people just have something about them. Maybe it's pheromones or maybe personality or a mix, idk. Tw domestic violence, death It didn't end well for her. It got her into dangerous situations a few times, but anytime she was particularly vulnerable she would be targeted by the worst abusive people who wanted to own and control her, but they would pretend that they just wanted to take care of her and protect her. The last one got so jealous because he knew some of their work friends liked her, he killed her then himself. But it was never something she had control over or even really wanted.
She said she was socially awkward, so I guess she's giving benefit of the doubt to other "socially awkward" people she needed. She's not being "overly generous", she just wants to help herself helping other people in "her situation"
![I.N "HALLUCINATION" | [Stray Kids : SKZ-PLAYER]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/n5B5q1Hwt_U/mqdefault.jpg)
When she's talking about the things that make her happy and how grateful she is to be alive, her tics vanish almost completely. I think that's unfathomably beautiful.
stay away from her underwear drawer!
This guy sounds like he would be a problem roommate for sure
@Joshua Whitt I know right, I see nothing wrong with his comment.
When she was speaking on Reckful passing I completely forgot she suffered from Tourettes. It seems like she tics less when she has a good train of thought going.
@@johnnyparsnips7641 You don't think she has Tourettes?
I have noticed she's putting up more and more decor since their last conversation. That makes me happy 💕
I noticed that too! It's so cool to see!
I'm currently quite early in the video, and I am now wondering if she is not sleeping to compensate for being better to herself in other ways... inner bullies can be tricky that way
right. as long as one learns from things they learn, then it shows how great such a person is
First thing I noticed as well
Same!
Yeah! First thing i noticed were the decor on the background and i laughed out of joy! I don't know, these little things mean so much to me knowing the bits of things I know about her so far. 🤗
"Worrying about it won't change whether or not it happens, it would just mean I suffer twice."
I'd like to start thinking like this.
Another way of putting it is:
"We can't always choose what happens, but we can always choose how to react to it."
I'd love to get to the point of just suffering twice, that would be nice.
or like that bob marley song
"when you worry you make your trouble double"
@@Goldy01 Why worry before it happens
Yeah, that attitude has helped me with my anxiety quite a bit. Why should i worry if it hasn’t happened yet?
0:57
Dr K: What are you doing?
Anita: Uh, Your Dad.
God bless this woman haha
not even a minute in i cant control my laughter
@JonnyC 289 well, the way she explained that it works in the first interview is that her mind rushes to think of all the things that would be inappropriate to say so that she doesn't accidentally say them. Ironically, her Tourette syndrome causes her to just spout out exactly what she's most afraid of saying at a moment of stress.
That was my very loose paraphrase, so I might have used a few wrong words.
EX0stasis honestly that sounds exhausting and stressful, props to her for being positive, I guess she kind of got used it? Still sounds stressful
ahahahaha
@JonnyC 289 nah jokes like that happen alot because of her tourettes
ok but can we acknowledge how CHILL the bunny was through this whole thing
Just vibing
Its the pheromones lol
@johnmann "real purpose as a women" yikes dude, lay off that shit
@johnmann / Is it really that difficult for you to see other combinations of skeletal, muscular, nervous systems, and thought as other people?
They are humans just like you with personal desires. Not everybody falls under your baseless & mindless umbrella you degenerate.
@johnmann / Take your beliefs back to AD: 500, whenever reproduction was necessary.
One of my favorite sayings is "Do not light yourself on fire to keep other people warm."
"Pity is when you're glad you're not someone. Empathy is when you feel with someone." - Sweet Anita 2020. Welp, now I have tears in my eyes.
I've never felt empathy and I want to feel it but my stupid brain doesn't let me so I just fake it most of the time
Sophie Kerr that sounds tough and must be confusing to deal with most people who are different
@@Yanimalyan yeah, it is tough but my friends are used to it and used to me dropping brutal truth bombs on them lol. I'm doing ok, just have a tough time understanding people sometimes.
Sophie Kerr Same bro, I've always lacked empathy severely and have no idea why
@@darthinvaderzimm hmm. Do you tend to daydream a lot? Feel uncomfortable in social situations?
I love the rabbit just looking at her like "Its my mum and she loves me" I hope this girl gets a break in life
1:03:36 he totally nailed it. She is basically to kind for her own good. Despite popular belief, kindness and forgiveness don't necessarily lead to good consequences. You need to be able to be stern with certain people in certain situations or they will continue to pursue you / exploit you. She needs to get in touch with her shadow (as Carl Jung puts it)
Based but complex
This and the michael reeves video have really helped me figure out what the next step to take in my mental health journey, thank you so much
same here
Good for you☺️
Good luck my friend
Im happy for you! Wish you the best in your journey, man!
@Jeff B what do you recommended for people not in a position to get professional help? Stay where they are at mentally or try to help themselves?
To be fully honest, yeah, I'm sure that her forgiveness, kindness and openness to awkward people is incredibly appealing to stalker types; but the other half is her vulnerability and all the bad stuff that has happened to her.
Humans are programmed to want to be close to and to protect vulnerable people (that's a primal emotion associated with taking care of children). Unfortunately, it's not always altruistic, the thought pattern can also go "If I'm the only good thing in her life, then of course she'll love me and be dependent on me and need me. Then I can keep her in a tiny little box and have her all to myself". It's a bit of a power fantasy, in a way. It can be extremely appealing to someone to fill the role of being "THE good person. The savior", it's a huge ego boost.
Yeah agree massively. Also her name is "sweet" anita - which further compounds the imagery of her being petite, childlike, needing protection etc
Funny, this is literally me. I've known about this aspect of me for pretty much my whole life, and I'm still working on fixing it. It's weird having my tendencies written out in a comment like I'm some sort of boogeyman or something.
@@Hedeyasu2 strive for that free honest love that can reflect the purest of your being on others and learn to let go and enjoy life in its whole. that is the key my brother
Vulnerable people = liability
I’m gonna have to call bullshit on wanting to take care of vulnerable people, especially if we’re talking about it through the context of instincts. Everything you said is subjective and a huge generalization.
I have someone try that on me, it is really pathetic and disgusting
I forgot how freakin smart this woman is. It’s fascinating to her her talk for these long stretches!
Hear* I hate to correct ppl but this comment has top comment potential so yeah
Smart? you have low standards
@@oliverbrinker8730 She's pretty smart bro, what does that have to do with standards?
@@user-vq1op2zg6w give it time, the pheromones didn't act yet
@Seppo hmmmmmmmmmmm.
"Suffering is a privilege" at base value that might sounds weird but when you contextualize it the way Anita did, she made it a very profound way of viewing life. As finite life is it is a privilege to experience things good and bad. And I think her outlook on everything is so smart and wise. She's really dope.
I would add that "Choosing your suffering is a privilege". There is no meaning in a life full of meaningless suffering like if you were kept by the fbi and tortured 24/7. But being able to choose your suffering like sacrificing your time and mental energy to get a degree is what gives people meanings. It's working toward a goal and making progress that gives positive emotion
People need to stop calling every little thing a privilege. It’s really getting old now.
@@authentic_path well the idea is choice and even the choice of how u choose pain to an extent is privilege u gotta learn to contexualize these like this comment
Absolutely but pros and cons to everything
Imagine she has those problems and those ticks and she wasn't that attractive then no guy would be making your type of comments lol
She is really emotionally intelligent, i dont even think she understands just how much.
I think she understands
She definitely understands. Children who have Tourette's struggle a ton socially.
Relatable, thanks for the insight
"I think they want to see the rabbit" ahh Dr. K a man of the people
watching her pet the rabbit was calming
Saw 399 likes couldent resist there
He's a cute bun.
😄
Anyone else notice how when presented with options for topics, Anita immediately jumped to the option that Dr. K said would likely help most people?
Yeah that was amazing, as soon as she heard that she went with that option
That makes a ton of sense if you watched her first interview
This whole stream is so interesting!
Dr. K was leading her to the answers he wanted to get out of her. It's very clear she is adverse to in anyway putting herself first. I think you guys are missing the point. She's not this ultra do gooder who only cares about others. It's a coping mechanism she's a people pleaser because people and life have been extremely cruel to her so she does it to protect herself from people adding more pain to her life by placating them. That doesn't make her a bad person by any means but I don't see the point in putting her on a pedestal. I don't think she is necessarily doing it for reasons other than it makes her feel at ease.
@@user-un8jx8yo7z Well what would you consider a good person. She has been unhealthily conditioned to please those other than herself.
She has no agency for defense and can't innact lasting change on her mind-state, yet she has good self reflection practices.
I personally think she would he more well-rounded if she were to be assertive and asses what she requires as a human being rather than to appease others.
She is a wonderful person with inherent desires to care for others that fostered from childhood (considering her rabbit story).
It also looks like her body punishes her for her own indulgence and relaxation. She vomits 6-7 times a day which likely discourages regular eating habits. And she is prone to lung pain and checking if she sleeps while vomiting.
Her ticks also increase when her mind isn't constantly thinking intensely.
She has been conditioned, bullied, abused and alienated due to her condition and it has subsequently exacerbated her issues.
She's so wise, she has seriously gotten the best out of the circumstances she has been dealt with. She gives me new motivation that I can do stuff even if I was dealt bad hands. Thank you Anita
Pressing "F" for breakfast
F
F
This is genuinely one of my favourite things to say now.
I'm hearing this comment
F
She's an incredible person and an inspiration. He said to tell a pitiful story and she started out way stronger than I expected.
Such a strange thing to hear somebody talk about, people being drawn to you....I'm the opposite, I feel invisible which I think I secretly enjoy. It feels like life is almost something I'm looking at through a screen. I also find it really easy to isolate conversations in a busy environments which definitely keeps me entertained.
Same here ...it's a very weird thing. While it has its benefits, it also kind of annoys me 🤷🏻♂️ .....also the screen thing is also true for me though that changes when I meditate.
damn "It feels like life is almost something I'm looking at through a screen" this one hit me hard
This is the way
Mr Celophane.
I can't say if that's healthy or not, but maybe experiment with the other way around if you haven't ? Try a life style where you are a center of attention. Easier said than done but it might make you way happier.
I see too many men claiming they're in love with a streamer or RUclipsr. Rookie mistake. Do not mistake lust for love. Love at first sight is mostly a bunch of bullshit. You can't love someone and not actually know them.
Amen
With Anita though going by this video, I feel it’s her intoxicating attitude as Dr. K says, that people fall for. Not the appearance. So if people fall for her on stream, it does make sense to a point.
@@AshWickramasinghe It's a combination of looks and personality, but it's also the fact that she comes off as more accessible because of her disability. She herself has spoken about this. The people "falling for her" are not actually falling for her but they aren't experienced enough to know the difference. It's just a lot of insecure or emotionally damaged young men who think she's perfect for them because she's flawed too and seems more open and understanding of their flaws. The honest truth is, if she wasn't physically attractive, most of them wouldn't feel the same at all. Anita is a perfect storm for these guys. Flawed, attractive, intelligent, understanding and she's a streamer, so you have the parasocial thing.
You can love someone without knowing that person, should you do that? No
@@AshWickramasinghe lust isn't just about looks but personality as well. Confusing love for someone you never met with genuine connection is just what a stalker would think
the start of the “why are you happy?” section was just so... genuine? it made me cry seeing how anita clearly has gratitude and a genuine, real attitude towards how she lives and appreciates her life. to see someone so genuine and passionate about something, it really triggers an emotional avalanche. at least for me.
Good talk. Thanks Anita for being this honest! Cheers from Poland :)
Hmm
wish polish was as ez as english
@Chillis Lets start with 'dzien dobry' and 'dziekuje' :)
@@TheGr8Ruz the numbers mason what do THEY MEAN
@@chillis8267 english is not easy.
I swear... its impossible to just watch 30 minutes of these streams. You JUST gotta watch the whole thing.
I watch like an hour then click "save to watch later" , but yeah if I'm not busy I can't stop watching
Heh. I guess I’m doing the impossible. Awesome
i was glued
I find myself having to frequently taking breaks during these streams to process whats said.
@@matthewtrebs9738 yeah I do that too
It's a lot at once and my ADHD brain can't deal with it all at once 😂
Dude she's like my dream best friend. She's literally so inspiring and cool. I hope one day I can get through to the other side of my mental health issues and flourish the way she seems to have been able to. It's really admirable how she can be so open about her struggles, and I hope that she knows how much of an impact that has on others that are struggling and can relate.
Just be mindful of those pheromones
@@asmo_1929 Haha She's stalking the panty drawer already😂
Her stalker is an absolute creep. He threatened to kill her, went to her house with a knife and she has a restraining order against him.
every stalker is a creep by definition
Yikes
She should enjoy
I had very similar experiences with men when I was in my early 20's And I did actually have someone tell me I needed to be better at controlling the "energy" I gave off which really offended me, but I eventually basically became jaded and guarded to the point where I stopped being so open and friendly towards others. I felt like I was being too warm and nice and people either tried to take advantage of that or people thought that meant their was a chance my feelings would eventually evolve into something more. Its sad. but I completely understood what she was going through in that regard.
The ones who are geniunely nice give off an energy that is seen as so special in western culture, we misinterpret it as flirting or sexual energy often because we are insecure and deprived of good geniune friendships and nice casual interactions.
@@Enderboii47 I see your point, I just disagree; I feel we interpret such energy as someone being a person of values we'd like to get closer to. Potentially to have that person around us as friends, potentially someone to spend our life with as a partner.
Keep in mind; even though most of people feel that way about such energy, only people that have bad knowledge of boundaries turn out as stalkers/ dangerous creeps of other kind.
I love how K imedietely had diagnosis for the stalkers. I had it too. And I was wondering why woudln't he just say it straight. But here the experience in therapy showed... he simply waited. Dropped the topic and let her engage in a long monolog where she said it straight herhelf. And then she realized.
K is class.
It seems obvious why people can't resist her. She is attractive. She has a good personality, she's very caring, kind, mature and articulate. And obviously she's the type of personality to attract insecure people because her kindness puts them at ease in a way it doesn't necessarily with others. When you feel really good around someone it is VERY intoxicating and you actively crave that experience. Insecure people gravitate towards her and consequently become infatuated. This can happen with confident people too but I'd generally say it's probably insecure people that go after her more.
Her experiences with friendship and family sound so tough and traumatizing, it's honestly insane that she's able to find a way to live a happy life and persevere despite everything. It's also very motivational.
Watched this live and was a fantastic interview. Anita has such a great aura and goodness about her we should all want to emulate. Looking forward to more with her!
She's smart as hell
@@ChairmanMeow1 I was thinking the same while watching this and the previous interview with her. It is very rare to find someone with so much introspection, especially being that young. I feel like an emotional idiot when listening how she is analysing herself and her own thoughts so well.
Siiiiimp
@@biggiesmallsgamerle4she276 Mate you're 8 at best, get off the Internet
@@ZZ-xo1ss Jesus Christ you fucking killed him dude 🤣🤣🤣🤣
I'm so excited to listen to this followup!
I couldn't help but notice there's art on Anita's walls and last time they talked, she said she never makes time for herself to the extent that she didn't put up the art she would enjoy.
Yea I actually forgot about that. That makes this more satisfying.
Having just watched their previous conversation- I'm glad Anita has art and decorations on the wall and bookcase😊
her part on "why are you happy?" is the most beautiful speech i've ever heard
I'm also an adult with Tourette's, I also live alone, and I also sometimes worry that I might choke on my food (or some other tic for that matter). This is the first time I've heard someone else mention the same thing. Thanks for making me feel less ridiculous.
What a warrior. Sleep issues like that would destroy most people. Im comatose when it happens to me, not helping charities.
Making a second yt vidéo any time soon?
i know right, anita is a fucking beast im amazed tbh
i feel so weak lmao, damn sometimes i think i could've of use a harder childhood but thats kind of stupid idk
I found myself glued to this interview... She comes off as a very sweet and caring person that is battling her own demons as most of us do all the time. I've never heard of her until now but I'm blown away by her intestinal fortitude allowing herself to lay it all on the line here on a somewhat public forum.
I am writing this long-ass comment to thank Anita, because as I barely discovered her channel a few days ago, she may have removed a huge stone in the way of my mental health journey.
I want to thank you for having the balls to expose your vulnerabilities to such a degree and allow us to witness your self-reflection. It has been a few months that I am contemplating going to therapy, but I just discovered that what was blocking me was the fear of the unknown. Through this podcast, you revealed a part of what therapy could be like and what type of reflexions it could bring. It confirmed the intuition I had that it won't be easy, but it also felt really relieving in a way. Now, I feel like I am not only at a point where I think I should go to therapy, but I also want to.
Thank you for being such an articulate and thoughtful being, and for raising awareness on Tourettes (another topic I learn alor about thanks to you).
I genuinely hope that you get to a confortable place mentally-wise, but as you mentionned you feared to disappoint others' hopes, I also want to add that you have the right to be unokay and to share it with your community ♥️
Finally, thanks to Dr K, it is the first time I encounter your content, but you seem to be doing some great and important work here.
(English is not my 1st langage, I hope what I wrote makes sense...)
The bunny is looking at her like: ''I'm gonna fix your every problem mommy
The way that bunny just chills there looking at her is so sweet
Im thankful I discovered anita, just like 2 days ago
she's so resilient and brave and so intellingent. hope things go well for her
I've only just found these interviews, but I've learned a lot from each one. I very much appreciate the gift you both have given by sharing your chats and being so open to complex conversations!
Thank you.
Man, you're such a good interviewer and listener. And Antia, I've watched her channel and streams for a little while now, she's so interesting to listen to. This is a quality interview. I've learned a lot! Man I could really do with a chat with you guys...
I cried so much to this one. I never felt so seen. Despite our incredibly different backgrounds I found so many relatable moments and insights and she helped me recognize some things in myself that need healing. I cant thank her enough. I wish Dr K and Anita the absolute best
Wow, she defines her friendships by what happened within them rather than how they ended. That’s beautiful
Having a difficult life do make you more smarter, nicer and wiser. I'm glad that even tho Anita have a lot of distractions in her life she keeps on rocking the right path. You miss Anita should be proud of yourself, since you seams to be better than at least 50% of the people. I wish all the best for you.
Even her rabbit is obsessed with her - look at how calm he is and how he stares at her!
I watched this whole thing live ... When Anita realized that her "pheromones" that drive people crazy were most likely her forgiving personality at fault... That was crazy. Dr. K took all the clues and figured out a reliable answer. She is so forgiving because she knows that she will screw up sometime in the future since humans are not perfect, so she tends to put that mindset on everyone that gets too flirty or too close ... O_O
I think maybe her tourettes plays in a little bit. I think maybe if she says and acts very forgiving and gives good advice to people, she'll help change their mindset on life, and be more forgiving for people who also have tourettes. Like if she is out in public and her tourettes yells something stupid like "I have a b*mb", people would recognise it's not really her saying it, it's her tourettes. But people can be quick to judge sometimes.
@@sophiekerr8964 Her main tourettes seemingly being "blop, wink, whistle" (=pay attention > sexual invite > cat calling) might also send out massive invitation messaging to people. They might intellectually know that is is just tourettes but on a subconscious level people might get overwhelmed and almost hypnotized.
yeah but people who "mess up" direly ,like crossing boundaries, neeed to be taught that that is not an acceptable behaviour. Rejection and loss is a veeery good teacher especially when done right. In a way Anita is taking away people's lessons by forgiving them. If only she could see it that way, I bet she would learn to be more just than forgiving if she realises that that is what will incentivise the people to become better which in turn would make the world a better place
@@CapeEniEer 100%. Yeah, her forgiving people for doing those types of things makes those people think it is alright. Then that behavior gets put towards the next person.
I like how you (example around the 20:00) switch between an analytical approach ("this is what your words make me think as a professional") and an empathetic approach ("this is what your words make me feel as a person") with a clear demarcation. I haven't been able to find a therapist who does that but I think it's very helpful and that at least some semblance of emotional communication is necessary in this kind of work. I hope others in the field will see and follow your example.
You can really tell that Anita has utilized her adversities to make her a stronger person. Not many people can look within to get useful lessons and learn how to apply it to their life in a constructive way. Most people would blame the world and ask why me and maybe she has at some point with the amount of BS she's had to deal with I wouldn't blame her but out of that darkness she has seemingly found a light and I'm so glad Dr.K has given her a platform to talk about it. Very powerful stuff. Subscribed.
I'm glad there's a part 2 to this because the first talk was my favourite Dr. K talks.
One of the best talks in a long time. Really, really good!
I remember when I found my little brother who'd hung himself. During that time I took care of everything (arranging the funeral, making calls, ect.). It was like I went in to a crisis mode, where I could do a lot with almost no sleep, and I felt fine. Things went back to normal after
That sound terrible. Are you doing good?
I'm sorry about your brother, hope you're doing ok friend :)
When you say back to normal, what do you mean
That's fucking awful, I can't even fathom seeing anyone I know dead. You're really strong for having made it out the other side of an experience like that.
That sounds horrible. That would’ve really messed me up. How are you doing?
She's amazing at whistling.
Okay after hearing all that she has/is going through she's just amazing period
I find it so amazing to watch two incredibly intelligent people have such a deep conversation like this.
I tend to play around in something like Rocket League while listening to talks, but with Dr. K and Anita it is like a constant stream of incredibly well put together thoughts that demands attention from A to Z. God damn are they amazing people :)
The Bunny. patiently listening to her problems while sitting on her lap. xD
With big bunny eyes just staring intently while she spits gold. You can tell he loves her and is vibing w her energy.
1:16:05
Dr. K: Can I highlight a couple of things?
Anita: No. Get out
:'D lmao
That came out of nowhere, I burst out laughing :D
Espacially since her ticks were on the rare and light side throught the conversation it made it even more unexpected and funny :D
*Dam it's funny but like I really feel bad for her , dam man that's hard*
@@Proger-sj8cj the sleep deprivation sounds like the worst part of having tourettes. I wonder if she takes meds to fall asleep
@@Proger-sj8cj i been there
I wasn't even sure if that was a joke or a tick.
I love Anita, she's so genuine, kind and eloquent.
Twitch and the world need more people like her.
It's sad that she feels she can't trust or form connections with people because of her previous experiences. She's deserving of genuine, meaningful friendships.
Anita is so empathetic and kind-hearted that I think it allows her boundaries to be crossed. I've been there, it hurts to build barriers that aren't natural to you. I've also for some reason had people drawn to me that just don't have good intentions. At one point in life when I became more aware of this, I cut off nearly everyone in my life and started fresh. I am now cautious to who I allow to be a part of my life, and I am trying not to be skeptical of every person. Being social is a process when you've been through so much and were never given guidance on what is healthy or toxic. I now have a wonderful partner, great friends and I am very comfortable in my own skin and surroundings
Part of a conversation from one of my favorite books:
"They do not offer pity. They offer sympathy."
"The difference must be subtle indeed."
"Pity is what we offer those who are so unfortunate we cannot conceive of living their lives. Sympathy is what we offer when we have lived their life, or when we've feared to have no choice but to live it. We offer it because we understand what the other person now faces."
Isn't that empathy you're describing, not sympathy?
Another great interview, Dr K! Thanks for what you do. Also thank you Anita for participating. Your story is very intriguing.
I first heard of Anita from Dr. K's first interview and was very interested in who she is. This led me to her youtube highlights channel and it's one of the best things I could have done. After a long day and needing to unwind, I can watch one of her videos and always count on it making me smile, laugh, and brighten my day. LOL but that's probably just the pheromones, right? Thank you for that, Anita, in the off chance that you read this.
And thank you again, Dr K, for the work that you do. I certainly hope you bring Anita back on for future interviews.
Wow she’s really cool! Her speech about how life is cool actually made me really happy.
just wanted to say this was one of the most important episodes i've seen
Anita: Im trying not to die in my sleep or choke to death when I eat, everyone around me tries to rape me and my mom is dying...
Chat: OMG SHE SO PWETTY!
Can’t get enough of these helpful talks thank you healthy gamer fam
It is often the people who have been through pain that give the most amount of love in the world. It's a very very unfair and yet somehow beautiful thing in a very bizarre way. I just wish people did not have to reach such points in their lives to reveal the beauty a human heart can exert in the world.
I've met kind people who didn't struggle with pain. It's not a necessary ingredient.
Wow I also was depressed pretty much constantly for 13 years too and pretty suicidal for a few of those too. I've recently been a lot better. I don't feel depressed and I tend to be a lot more positive, fingers crossed it continues :)
Nice job, good luck!
Dont cross your fingers and hope, bro! Cultivate your mental garden to facilitate good vibes avoid negative things outside of your control. Keep up the good work, tho
Stay strong homie 🔥
Glad to hear that and wishing you the best
happy to hear youve been feeling better lately
That has to be the most chill bunny I’ve ever seen 🐰
I wish I could find a woman who looks at me, like that bunny looks at Anita.
I love interviews with this woman. She is very inspiring and introspective. I worked with a man who has turrets for years. This all seems very normal to me. Keep up the great work.
58:58 That was very wise, I'm really impressed with those words, and they have resonated with me a lot.
Thanks Anita.
Anita "I wake up pretty happy, excited for the day"
God I wish that were me
You'll get there
57:10 The "Why are you happy?" part was so good, exactly what I needed. Thank you so much!
Thank you for sharing your experience Anita! I know Dr K said that he has never heard of an experience like this before. Anita, you are not alone. It IS terrifying, my experiences reflect yours very closely. From the stalker to the roomate panty stealers to not cutting off friendships before they became toxic, while displaying such justification of the empathy I based my forgiveness but also enablement on . You are such a ray of hope for anyone who has experienced trauma or gone through auto immune disorders. Hearing your story and your self reflection is so inspiring. Thank you Anita and Dr K. All the best from Canada.
1:24:45 and at the detriment of others.
People gotta realize that responding with forgiveness about any and every action around us hurts the forgiver short term (in the way that these actions are allowed and wont stop), they hurt the forgiver in the long term (in the way that you'd allow them in the future, with more people and more scenarios) but also hurts the abuser long term by letting him get away with it, which reinforces a habit.
Dr. K is what I think of an ideal therapist. He has genuin concern and an inviting way of speaking, like he is interested in your thoughts. I'm sure I'd be able to trust my full thoughts with him and go out like I've had a massage for my mental environment.
So kind of not important but I’m impressed with the bunny staying calm on her for about 40 minutes straight throughout the stream.
The bunny is also obsessed with her.
Big respect to both of you, this is so heart warming, I actually really needed this, I'm at the age and point in my life where I'm beginning to question and philosophize deep life subjects etc and it's a lot of stress, thank you :)
My new binge channel. Seeing streamers as real people is interesting.
1:06:58 "Why are you so forgiving?" she already answered that a couple of minutes before that, she literally said: "If I want to be forgiven, I have to forgive"
It kinda scares me how similar my mindset is to hers. I analyze my emotions so much that when I actually need them, or to express them, it leaves me monotone and numb. After having childhood trauma, which I believe she had as well(?), it was much easier to regulate and overanalyze my emotions (especially with a PTSD diagnosis that can fuck emotional regulation) than actually experience them. Burying myself in school and burnout to avoid my overworking brain is just kinda how I learned to cope with so little emotional assistance after my trauma. Fine is better than extremely depressed.
Listening to her speak during the Why are you happy? Section of the video was such a well thought out and deep reflection on her life and life in general that I understand when earlier she said people believe she scripts what she is saying. This was one of the better interviews on Dr K channel
1:16:09 "no get out yeah go for it" was awesome haha
Lol, I know this "being too good for your own good" thing. Coming from an abusive home with a narcissistic mother, struggling with boundaries etc. Abusive people instinctively find me, they sense my vulnerability.
"I am not gonna define our friendship the way that it ended, i am gonna define it by all the things i was lucky to experienced."
.
...
As always this show invoked a lot of questions of myself and traumas and issues I'm dealing with. Was surprised she came back on so quick. Her streams on her channel too can often cause self reflection on my part. That's both a good thing and a bad thing as sometimes I'm not always ready to go diving within. I always come out better for it though with some new insights on life.
Based on what Anita says in this interview in regards to how she's tried being very direct and up front about just wanting friendship and not romantic relationships and clearly stating that if people hit on her she can't or might not be able to be friends with them anymore yet still forgiving them when they break these rules or boundaries, suggests to me (and i could be wrong) that Anita is very good at setting her boundaries but where she struggles is in enforcing them.
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They dive into this near the end where they talk about Anita fearing reverting back to her past self by losing too many friendships and becoming someone who can't connect with people and this totally makes sense however, i think paradoxically or maybe just counter-intuitively this fear of losing friendships by being more judgmental or less forgiving might possibly be at least a part of the reason why some of her friendships go awry over time.
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Anita also mentions how she realized that she was deserving of respect and that in the past she had allowed a lot of people to treat her poorly but didn't stop them and that realization was part of what allowed her to improve herself and her life yet it seems to me like she's doing this in regards to her friendships still to some degree. And just to be clear, i don't think Anita working on enforcing her boundaries more makes her a "less good person" in fact it's the opposite, i think it makes her a better person if she can manage to overcome this obstacle. Being able to enforce your boundaries is a good trait and quality to have.
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While my wording or phrasing might not reflect it, i wanna be clarify that i don't mean or intend for this to be me blaming Anita. I simply want to share my observations in the vain hope that maybe it can help Anita or others in similar situations. (The dots in between paragraphs are simply there to space them apart because RUclips won't let me do it otherwise for some reason)
I wonder if there is another level to this tho. If she sets boundaries and confidently enforces them, then she will be even more attractive to others. That would mean she would once against attract those who are interested romantically rather than a place of friendship. Maybe that might be an additional component that (unconciously) prevents her from enforcing boundaries. Because it does not seem like the solution to what she truly wants.
@Jeff B you have to apologize for everything you say these days.
@@SETHthegodofchaos good boundaries push away people who take advantage of vulnerabilities. Thats not a bad place to start, might eventually help attract more secure and trustworthy relationships.
I see what you mean though how there could be a false perception which hinders change in behaviour. Hopefully things will get figured out in due time.
@@TheLionrazor Sure, but there are also vampires out there who idolize certain traits which they themselves dont have and believe if they attach themselves to someone, some of that trait will rub off onto them or the other person would teach it to them (believing they could do that in the first place and its not just part of their unconcious being). Its basically taking the easy way to get what they want. But usually that leads to disaster because the vampire tries to more and more suck the trait of the person while the other person with the trait is more and more shutting themselves off (essentially protecting themselves) which obviously is exhausting and frustrating for all involved and everybody will end up unhappy.
And indeed it is still worth pursuing because in the ideal case you find someone who is on eye level with yourself and that person is attracted to those traits because they themselves value them on their partner and not primarily wanting to see them on themselves.
Listening to you talk to her has made me realize just how bad i need to speak to a professional.
The eye openers for me.. my god.
Damn bruh the thing about feeling isolated also felt insane to me, it’s actually so relatable
5:29 I think that sometimes after a long period of depression and feeling like shit, "settling" for a "just fine" life is a much much safer bet than trying to get something more, because there's a fear of possibly ending up in that crappy place again, and it can be too much of a risk
I think she could also benefit from not just laying down rules regarding her private relationships, but rules AND consequences. So not just "I'm not trying to hit on you, and I ask the same from you", but "if you're going to try to hit on my despite me saying no, then you'll need to leave the house and look for a new roommate" or something. Or "Listen, I told you not to try to hit on me, if you do anything like this one more time, then you'll need to move elsewhere" etc. It's not just laying down the rules for others, but for herself as well.
Anyway, lovely content as always
I've received so much clarity about myself from watching these and I wanted to say thank you so much to both of you for giving this to us. ❤ AoE Healing ❤
Anita's tics over here reminding me to eat. Lol
I've had my underwear stolen before. It's really a weird experience. Unfortunately he started stalking me not long after
Those of us that feel we need extra forgiveness and kindness tend to give too many chances. She has what I learned to call "Pollyanna thinking". Finding something to be grateful for in any situation. Ex. In the book she gets crutches insteaf of a doll or toys and so she said that she was glad she didn't need them.
The knee jerk reaction is to forgive, and then later realize we could have been, or were, in danger. Often I then brush it off. "But it wasn't that bad" sort of thing. This has gotten me hurt. We're too nice for our own damn good, basically. Also feeling "I'm not important" is pretty common I think, sadly. Feeling that loss of a relationship is almost worse than the assault. I handle that way better than grief.
This was all so familiar; even down to not touching people for fear I'll give any kind of signal I'm interested. A bunch of this comes from trauma for me. Only speaking for myself, probably differs for everyone.
What a wonderful discussion between the two of you. It was so intoxicating to listen to, as with every minute, I felt like I could advance my own issues and personality. Thanks to both of you for making this available for everyone.
46:55 this just breaks my heart
honestly.... I feel so bad for anita because some of the things shes worrying about or had problems with I am struggling with or did so in the past.
It's nice to see that despite all the hardships shes doing fine with everything thrown at her.
I'm not quite through the whole video but I just felt the need to say this.
You rock! you've been through more many won't even go through in their whole life and you're more grown up than 90% of the people walking outside.
One thing in her, as a first impression is attractive to me is her "sad puppy eyes" and smooth voice and open expression. But the more she talks about various topics, it is apparent to me (in my opinion) she uses it as a strategy so other people don't hurt her, even if they don't know her. But that in fact accomplishes the opposite. It gives way to predators and/or gives the impression she is open to many more things than she in reality is willing to do.
You sound creepy.
very impressed with dr. k. hes a very smart guy. also nothing would make me happier than to be her friend and give her the love she deserves and try to help make life a little bit better for her. i have some issues myself ive never been able to deal with and has kind of paralyzed my life and not let me get the most out of my talents and have trouble with my own self esteem sometimes.
I think ALOT people would love to 'help' her, and might even end up liking her too much (especially if they feel lonely or have a lack of attention), which maybe causes one of her problems. Selecting the right people I think is very important for her, and then stay in that bubble a bit, or staying mostly alone (which isn't the ideal situation for her probably).
This dude knows what he's doing. Did not take long before he got her to tell the real reason why she is not sleeping. Hope she meet a truly nice person, so she can catch a break, and not deal with everything alone. She is seriously smart, be nice, and not a creep, if you cross her path. Please.
i was disappointed in Dr. K during all the talks he had with Anita, he does not have the guts to confront her on some of the lies she is telling about all the sexual harassment, he just goes along with, "yea it must be your pheromones, you must be super attractive to everyone yea makes perfect sense". instead of being a good psychologist and bursting that bubble of bullshit and confronting her about the destructive behaviour that causes these people to harrass her, because she is inviting these people into her life, she does not set up boundaries, she only complains when the damage has already been done, and then the cycle continues with the next creep she will befriend and let too close to her. she is clearly sending the wrong signals to the wrong people..
@@hisdudeness6688 Ik it's been a while but did you watch this whole interview? because it seems that you interpreted a lot of stuff incorrectly....
Her description of her experience with her flatmates, I relate to so much. Not for me personally, but my best friend in the world was like this. Not even necessarily what everyone would immediately call conventionally attractive, but everyone she met would fall for her eventually except me. I genuinely was the only person in her life who managed to be friends with her for 10 years without ever wanting to be with her in a romantic or sexual way. There were men who started out planning on just having casual sexual relationships with her only to try to propose a year later. Female friends who considered themselves straight found themselves obsessed with her. Even a gay male friend once told me got very confused after one of her birthday parties. Some people just have something about them. Maybe it's pheromones or maybe personality or a mix, idk.
Tw domestic violence, death
It didn't end well for her. It got her into dangerous situations a few times, but anytime she was particularly vulnerable she would be targeted by the worst abusive people who wanted to own and control her, but they would pretend that they just wanted to take care of her and protect her. The last one got so jealous because he knew some of their work friends liked her, he killed her then himself. But it was never something she had control over or even really wanted.
I'm sorry for the loss of your friend.
She said she was socially awkward, so I guess she's giving benefit of the doubt to other "socially awkward" people she needed. She's not being "overly generous", she just wants to help herself helping other people in "her situation"
This makes so much sense