Jake and Amir: Dog

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  • @jonathanmartin4667
    @jonathanmartin4667 7 лет назад +1960

    I hate trying to show ppl jake and amir because I feel like you have to show them like 50 episodes all at once for them to get how utterly brilliant everything these twonmade was

    • @julesk2629
      @julesk2629 6 лет назад +97

      Jonathan Martin true! When I first started watching I didn’t think it was funny, but the more I watched and got to know their personas the funnier it got! Now I’m obsessed!

    • @Nokpest11
      @Nokpest11 6 лет назад +29

      exactly! I dont know which is a suitable first episode to show to my friends. So in the end i sent them "nose job" "standing desk" and "butt chugging"..any recommondation?

    • @jeremyreed4558
      @jeremyreed4558 5 лет назад +12

      Julianna Kopa exactly I didn’t understand the humour at first but after many episodes I started to find it insanely hilarious

    • @MasonWilliamseskimorapfiend
      @MasonWilliamseskimorapfiend 5 лет назад +19

      muuly I’m having the exact same issue. There are so many episodes two there’s no clear starting point. Alas, I’ll continue to enjoy them alone

    • @emonoglesby
      @emonoglesby 5 лет назад

      Very true this has to be the first one i show them

  • @psolo3
    @psolo3 3 года назад +388

    I love how Amir says the "bitch barked a bit", knowing full well the dog killed 2 dogs, bit a lot of people, and was put down

    • @kolaornick
      @kolaornick 3 года назад +8

      Maybe he thinks everyone else’s mind is as impressionable as his

    • @WeeklyComedian
      @WeeklyComedian 2 года назад +5

      *ate 2 other dogs

    • @kamford-jx5tu
      @kamford-jx5tu Год назад +2

      Lmaooo him using that phrase to majorlyyyyy downplay what happened will always be hilarious

    • @TheGraphiteCovenant
      @TheGraphiteCovenant Год назад

      She is an angry bitch, but she is calm

    • @terryfoster1218
      @terryfoster1218 29 дней назад

      I never considered this and now I’m CRYING LAUGHING. THANK YOU!!

  • @Amethystasheryn
    @Amethystasheryn 4 года назад +314

    I come back here every time just to hear Amir say "gank a croissant and steal an empanada". It still gets me.

    • @acgm046
      @acgm046 2 года назад +10

      I love how the way he says "steal an empanada" makes him sound extremely gringo

    • @daleksec01
      @daleksec01 20 дней назад +1

      I think they reused/expanded this joke in a College humor skit with Trap Pat and Adam (tho for some reason it looks like Adam isn’t credited at all?)

  • @polo619652
    @polo619652 12 лет назад +175

    "I feared her that day"
    "You should fear her everyday"
    The way they said their lines was priceless.

  • @akashlevyismyhero
    @akashlevyismyhero 8 лет назад +428

    "Abusing a dog and setting it up as a killing machine for my personal fucked up reasons is illegal?" Best Amir quote

    • @jdsick6000
      @jdsick6000 Год назад +1

      It perfectly aligned that I read this comment exactly as Amir was saying it. He narrated for me 😂😂

  • @Winteramen
    @Winteramen 4 года назад +324

    “In a brazen act of cowardice.”

    • @yakiclone1
      @yakiclone1 4 года назад +13

      So happy people still watch my favorite comedians of all time ever

    • @Winteramen
      @Winteramen 4 года назад +15

      @@yakiclone1 these two dudes practically moulded my adult life. Watched them since middle shool, listened to their advice podcast in college. It's crazy every year o come back and find myself more and more understanding of Amir...even, somewhat becoming Amir

    • @yakiclone1
      @yakiclone1 4 года назад +5

      blue bird thats amazing. Yea i found them in the very very beginning and it was exactly my sense of humor and im so glad i got to witness every episode as it happened. They are truly the Golden Gods of comedy. No one else comes close. Youre awesome

    • @schuesslerlauren
      @schuesslerlauren 4 года назад +11

      I feared her that day

    • @yakiclone1
      @yakiclone1 4 года назад +5

      @@schuesslerlauren a lack of zero compression pants

  • @xxxdidmytimexxx
    @xxxdidmytimexxx 10 лет назад +155

    I love how Amir slowly folded his shorts after his" LONG STORY SHORTS!' line.

  • @iblame_nargles
    @iblame_nargles 8 лет назад +295

    "By this, by this, by this-"
    "Get it out."
    I love these guys.

    • @mudkipbatman6328
      @mudkipbatman6328 8 лет назад +17

      "this beast outta hell"

    • @dusk565
      @dusk565 8 лет назад +1

      "mudkip batman" has to be the best username ever. Hats off.

  • @AdamBaileyloltv12
    @AdamBaileyloltv12 9 лет назад +513

    "Last time I checked, Rotem can't talk!"
    "Last time I checked, Rotem was dead."

    • @sevenseveen1337
      @sevenseveen1337 9 лет назад +20

      +AdamBaileyloltv12 exactly

    • @ThePoptartster
      @ThePoptartster 8 лет назад +61

      +AdamBaileyloltv12 "And last time I checked... I'm have a pussy."

    • @Strummie
      @Strummie 7 лет назад +9

      Roetem. It’s meteor backwards.

    • @octopusph.d7737
      @octopusph.d7737 5 лет назад +4

      last time I checked..my internet was down so i couldnt find the answer

    • @kalebg.7507
      @kalebg.7507 5 лет назад +2

      Who the fuck is Rotem

  • @mournwatcher
    @mournwatcher Год назад +14

    It's so wild coming back to these videos a decade later. I watched these nonstop throughout my teen years. They absolutely shaped my sense of humor. I still know all the words to all the videos... so nostalgic and still so good.

  • @ExplodiumYGO
    @ExplodiumYGO 9 лет назад +466

    I randomly thought of the word "shnozzel" and had to come back here to pay tribute.

    • @niheathcote
      @niheathcote 9 лет назад +1

      +Pedrum Golriz kicking*

    • @Silverwind87
      @Silverwind87 9 лет назад +4

      +ExplodiumYGO My sister says it's called the schni-zol-uh.

    • @jobisrrael
      @jobisrrael 6 лет назад +1

      Mee too

  • @tardersauce3578
    @tardersauce3578 5 лет назад +34

    This might actually be my favorite Jake and Amir. I come back all the time and it makes me laugh so hard every time.

  • @sargberger
    @sargberger 9 лет назад +1054

    Tryna gank a ćròïsànt and steal an empiñada

    • @bunnyfaceperson123
      @bunnyfaceperson123 9 лет назад +10

      *croissant

    • @brunoclak
      @brunoclak 9 лет назад +21

      +Tanner Sargent *empanada

    • @Silverwind87
      @Silverwind87 9 лет назад +67

      +bunnyfaceperson123 HUAGH-SONT!

    • @FrillsAndFur
      @FrillsAndFur 8 лет назад +12

      +Tanner Sargent funniest part of the whole episode

    • @gayvideos3808
      @gayvideos3808 5 лет назад +10

      Tryna gank a xģàså' and steal an ëmpınađa

  • @TMWriting
    @TMWriting 7 лет назад +41

    Still, to this day, the single funniest sketch ever produced by this channel. It's just pure genius.

    • @53prime
      @53prime Год назад

      Idk. For the wolf. Quitting. eBay. There so many amazing ones.

  • @legoindy111
    @legoindy111 8 лет назад +585

    I'm sittin' there, trying to gank a muffin and a *kwaissant*

    • @chrisycee
      @chrisycee 8 лет назад +21

      stop saying it like that

    • @legoindy111
      @legoindy111 8 лет назад +40

      chrisycee What, *kwaissant*?

    • @yomom6092
      @yomom6092 8 лет назад +23

      Diva Roach yeah, you're not French.

    • @legoindy111
      @legoindy111 8 лет назад +30

      vignes yvon Does it sound like Amir knows how to spell any word, let alone croissant?

    • @tristantristan5896
      @tristantristan5896 7 лет назад +4

      Diva Roach how are you a top comment on so many make and Amir videos

  • @LoDacBiet
    @LoDacBiet 8 лет назад +269

    Who the FUCK is Rotem?

  • @epicsamurai5
    @epicsamurai5 9 лет назад +139

    I can't believe J&A is over. This one will probably always be my favorite

    • @thomasunitt2934
      @thomasunitt2934 9 лет назад +2

      pasqual Burdon Jake and Amir were the most popular videos on the channel and the longest running series. They stopped to move onto new stuff. In other news they have a Jake and Amir TV pilot so look forward to it:)

    • @Wren_the_Bird_King
      @Wren_the_Bird_King 9 лет назад +1

      I think this was my firsts.

    • @kenilazarus4260
      @kenilazarus4260 3 года назад +10

      Hey fellas, just making sure y'all know they just started posting new episodes!

  • @helminth_charger9165
    @helminth_charger9165 9 лет назад +126

    I love how Jake calls to say Amir abused a dog, instead of mentioning that he trained it to be a vicious monster and unleashed it upon a group of people.

    • @felynecomrade
      @felynecomrade 8 лет назад +18

      That would be part of the abuse.

    • @jeffbarrett3344
      @jeffbarrett3344 8 лет назад +18

      +felynecomrade And so would kicking it in the shnozzle or whatever the frick it's called.

  • @Katloft
    @Katloft 8 лет назад +45

    "She is an angry bitch, but she is calm."

    • @BeniM
      @BeniM 8 лет назад +3

      Wrong

    • @Redfield982
      @Redfield982 3 года назад +4

      This line kills me to this day

    • @ravencom1
      @ravencom1 2 года назад +2

      She is Grand, she is Canyon.

  • @korlaanthor1906
    @korlaanthor1906 9 лет назад +58

    "I hope you're calling them to turn yourself in, for being dirt."
    LOL

  • @juandiegoprado
    @juandiegoprado 4 года назад +47

    This semester I got a professor named Rotem and this is obviously the first thing I thought of

  • @not_henry_the_fifth
    @not_henry_the_fifth 10 лет назад +177

    this has to be the best jake and amir ever

  • @ZiggyDGaming
    @ZiggyDGaming 12 лет назад +188

    "No animals were hurt in the writing of this video."
    What about in the filming of this? D:

    • @Yaktopan
      @Yaktopan 4 года назад +10

      Animals were severely injured

    • @daftbanna7202
      @daftbanna7202 3 года назад +4

      You found the joke

    • @a.g.m.s_1916
      @a.g.m.s_1916 3 года назад

      @@daftbanna7202 😐

    • @Alex_Faux
      @Alex_Faux 3 года назад

      Bruh ZiggyD is a JandA fan.

  • @EndOfSmallSanctuary97
    @EndOfSmallSanctuary97 2 года назад +4

    Almost every single line in this episode is amazing and so memorable. One of the last truly great J&A episodes.

  • @boredrobot5502
    @boredrobot5502 10 лет назад +23

    "Long story, SHORTS!" I'm gonna cry, that's hilarious.

  • @lawgirl1444
    @lawgirl1444 4 года назад +13

    It’s been like 6 years since they went off the air, and I still laugh at these like the first time

  • @Thedarkknight2244
    @Thedarkknight2244 3 года назад +10

    “Brazen act of cowardice” might be one of the best phrases I have ever heard

  • @kylieh6304
    @kylieh6304 8 лет назад +54

    i just love: Who the F**K is rotem?!?!

  • @riedstep
    @riedstep 8 лет назад +236

    this is one of my favorites and its one of the most messed up ones

    • @shipwreck9146
      @shipwreck9146 8 лет назад +5

      I completely agree.

    • @CSGDuncan11
      @CSGDuncan11 7 лет назад

      Same here, I laugh every time I watch it

    • @dixiecronin7791
      @dixiecronin7791 4 года назад +1

      Although, Nose Job and Amir Faces the Harsh Realities of Dating probably take the cake lol

  • @ValensBellator
    @ValensBellator 6 лет назад +15

    "Brazen act of cowardice" is a new favorite line of mine lol

  • @user-vo2ik8gd7l
    @user-vo2ik8gd7l 8 лет назад +64

    I have this episode memorized. I recite it to my boyfriend. I don't think he likes it.

  • @knifeymcdont
    @knifeymcdont Год назад +2

    The slow and deliberate folding of the shorts while continuing this messed up conversation has got to be the best part

  • @brandonwilcox7411
    @brandonwilcox7411 5 лет назад +21

    I have a Rottweiler and I missed the golden opportunity to name him Rotem. He’s adorable and loves everyone though so it wouldn’t be accurate.

    • @Crazypixiness
      @Crazypixiness 3 года назад +1

      Metor

    • @thegreen8172
      @thegreen8172 2 года назад

      Punch her on the throat and kick her in the schnozzle or nozzle or what the frick

  • @ACriticalThought
    @ACriticalThought 3 года назад +4

    The RUclips algorithm suggested I go on a re-watch binge of Jake & Amir... This one had me out of breath from laughing so hard. The delivery mixed with the insane content was too much for me!

  • @alexpabloroy
    @alexpabloroy 11 лет назад +11

    I love that I had the same reaction Amir did. Oh! He called him a friend!

  • @fubar247
    @fubar247 12 лет назад +1

    One of my favorite Jake and Amir videos right away. Best description, amazing ending to a great story.

  • @SaltySteff
    @SaltySteff Год назад +5

    Best part of this video is when Amir gently folds the shorts back up after his "long story shorts" line

  • @JoshLikeCrazy
    @JoshLikeCrazy 9 лет назад +32

    are you going to finish that QWASSON

  • @Yaktopan
    @Yaktopan 4 года назад +4

    you can tell they shot this the same day as corduroy pant because jake is wearing Amir's flannel from the last episode, and i feel that serves good symbolism, like whoever wears the plaid isn't mad. but also amir begins this episode with jakes last line from the last one, which was clever on them.

    • @mevicky100
      @mevicky100 3 года назад +1

      I can’t believe you noticed that, you micey bastard. nice catch!

  • @kitty4502
    @kitty4502 10 лет назад +6

    Ths is definitely the best of their newer episodes

  • @FlyingCowRabbit
    @FlyingCowRabbit 8 лет назад +4

    Jake was the reason I started watching Jake and Amir, but Amir is the reason I keep on watching

  • @Aezoh
    @Aezoh 10 лет назад +10

    "who the fuck is Ro-tem?" hahaha

  • @lordhippopie9528
    @lordhippopie9528 5 лет назад +17

    This and snake bite are two of my favorite episodes. It is a bit concerning that they make animal abuse so funny.

    • @RaycrowX
      @RaycrowX 3 года назад +2

      Whooo gives a shit?

  • @CameronBaba
    @CameronBaba 8 лет назад +2

    I remember literally snorting and then bursting into laughter like 3 years ago at a piano lesson right after watching this video and now that's all I can think of every time I watch it lmao

  • @historicalsongarchive
    @historicalsongarchive 10 лет назад +21

    I love J&A so much but this episode is definitely my favourite. From start to finish I literally have to hold my sides xD

  • @rohittota
    @rohittota 9 лет назад +36

    Email of the fucking year.
    Oh wait wrong video.

  • @Fonnsterify
    @Fonnsterify 6 лет назад +11

    Amir’s mom is a French-Canadian Queen. So he is French!!!

  • @pandojustpando8204
    @pandojustpando8204 10 лет назад +18

    I feared her that day.

    • @schuesslerlauren
      @schuesslerlauren 5 лет назад +2

      You should fear her everyday! And I think you do because you locked yourself in a closet for two hours yelling 'Shoot her! Shoot the bitch for all I care!'

  • @alexpiper5242
    @alexpiper5242 10 лет назад +33

    Long story SHORTS! that was too much!

  • @emonoglesby
    @emonoglesby 5 лет назад +2

    My favorite Jake and Amir of all time

  • @DaBoxMonsta
    @DaBoxMonsta 8 лет назад +5

    "You don't even know the name of the body part you abused?!" Golden.

  • @CrusherX1000
    @CrusherX1000 3 месяца назад +1

    "How was that inadvertant? It was calculated. It was precise."

  • @StephenDeTomasi
    @StephenDeTomasi 10 лет назад +31

    I laughed way too hard at this shit

  • @ryanmcgillivary4791
    @ryanmcgillivary4791 2 года назад +1

    So many quotes from this one get stuck in my head

  • @gameguru1234
    @gameguru1234 8 лет назад +66

    Long story shorts

  • @s.o.k.1393
    @s.o.k.1393 Год назад +2

    I love how Jake called 911 to make a police report but not the day before when Amir's dog was biting people and eating other dogs

  • @thepixalwizard873
    @thepixalwizard873 2 года назад +5

    "brazen act of cowardice" is amazing

  • @MagmaSedusa
    @MagmaSedusa 9 лет назад

    I laughed so hard at this episode. I think Jake is awesome. The way he responds to Amir all the time and that look of disgust on his face! Priceless.

  • @MrGanjaBandits
    @MrGanjaBandits 4 года назад +5

    I still love these idc

  • @brandonwilcox7411
    @brandonwilcox7411 6 лет назад +5

    I'm watching this years later with my Rottweiler sitting next to me. He's chewing on a bone right now and I'm cracking up at the thought of him eating two other dogs

  • @dogspines1514
    @dogspines1514 9 лет назад +6

    This is one of my favorite episodes😂😂😂😂😂

  • @SibKalsbeek
    @SibKalsbeek 12 лет назад

    I personally think this is one of the best Jake and Amir episodes yet

  • @StevenRogers268
    @StevenRogers268 6 лет назад +4

    "No one's gonna love you... Including me" 😂

  • @forestman4629
    @forestman4629 3 года назад

    This still holds up, favourite jake and Amir

  • @EndOfSmallSanctuary97
    @EndOfSmallSanctuary97 9 лет назад +5

    "By this... by this... by this... by this..." "Get it out!"

  • @KevinOrzel
    @KevinOrzel 11 лет назад +1

    I love how Jake constantly calls the emergency response operators "911."

  • @elisabeth8609
    @elisabeth8609 11 лет назад +9

    uploaded on my sons day of birth

  • @alfredorodriguezdc
    @alfredorodriguezdc Год назад +1

    Have memories of being in high school waiting outside of class trying my hardest not to laugh while watching this in my headphones haha

  • @PinkManGuy
    @PinkManGuy 2 года назад +6

    "You know what? This is too fucked up. You crossed the line." The way Jake delivers this line always cracks me up.

  • @ErnestMouse
    @ErnestMouse 11 лет назад +1

    It's official, they're now friends.
    Amir's never going to forget this day.

  • @EmoEnteFEATEmoFisch
    @EmoEnteFEATEmoFisch 11 лет назад +12

    "Long story Shorts" hahahahahahaha

  • @laurenmcquaid01
    @laurenmcquaid01 11 лет назад +1

    'Who the FUCK is Rotem?' Best line hands down cracks me up every time.

  • @mariabaker221
    @mariabaker221 8 лет назад +6

    Oh my god. You called us friends

  • @ghidfg
    @ghidfg 4 года назад +1

    i love how he neatly folds away the shorts

  • @RecentlyAdults
    @RecentlyAdults 8 лет назад +416

    oh my god ... you called us friends LOL

  • @archiemarshall4368
    @archiemarshall4368 8 лет назад +4

    Did you bring those in for that joke ? :D

    • @jeffbarrett3344
      @jeffbarrett3344 8 лет назад +5

      +Archie Marshall I think it is funny how he carefully folds them up afterwards.

  • @ChildInLove
    @ChildInLove 12 лет назад

    This is my all time favourite beginner to a Jake and Amir

  • @WhyHide30
    @WhyHide30 5 лет назад +3

    The way Jake recounts the story 🤣🤣💀💯

  • @legit123456
    @legit123456 4 года назад +2

    I loved Jake's recaps.

  • @thatnerdj
    @thatnerdj Год назад +5

    My favorite easily.

  • @youngknowledgeseeker
    @youngknowledgeseeker 4 года назад +2

    Hands down one of the funniest eps

  • @jacquesterrei3554
    @jacquesterrei3554 9 лет назад +8

    Rotem in Hebrew is the name of a desert plant.

  • @sonicrushXII
    @sonicrushXII 5 лет назад +1

    I just realized the knife in the Amir doll. And ive watched this episode alot

  • @Pudgyface55
    @Pudgyface55 12 лет назад

    So glad i stayed up and found this!

  • @harshmudhar96
    @harshmudhar96 10 лет назад +20

    God too funny lost my shit xD

    • @roughryder5
      @roughryder5 10 лет назад +1

      Well, lets get a search committee ready.

    • @harshmudhar96
      @harshmudhar96 10 лет назад

      Is that what you do?

    • @roughryder5
      @roughryder5 10 лет назад +1

      Hey now, shits have feelings too. It could be lost in the cold wold roaming around without food or water.

  • @WhenLifeExpires
    @WhenLifeExpires 11 лет назад

    Does anyone know the Jake and Amir video where Amir "accidentally" drops stew or some sort of soup on himself? He says "yams" a lot. I've been searching for it everywhere and I can't find it.

  • @noahgoddard3565
    @noahgoddard3565 9 лет назад +31

    This is the best one.

  • @GablesStarlett
    @GablesStarlett 12 лет назад

    I don't know, this seems so much funnier than the last few J&A's episodes. I liked it!! Especially the end line, lol.

  • @MaliceInCandyland
    @MaliceInCandyland 11 лет назад +29

    A Rotem is a Ghost type Pokemon. XD

    • @SlyBentleyMurray2
      @SlyBentleyMurray2 11 лет назад +19

      Rotom*

    • @MaliceInCandyland
      @MaliceInCandyland 11 лет назад +9

      Thank you. Epic fail on my part.

    • @davetruth3872
      @davetruth3872 10 лет назад

      SlyBentleyMurray2
      Someone needs to grow up and get out more.

    • @harshmudhar96
      @harshmudhar96 10 лет назад +3

      ***** I dont know more adults play pokemon than children...

    • @SalvableRuin
      @SalvableRuin 10 лет назад +1

      Harshdeep Singh That was deep. And a little harsh.

  • @shadowmane55
    @shadowmane55 12 лет назад

    LOOOOOL Please college humour.. Please NEVER stop the jake and amir vids!!!

  • @QuadroNVS
    @QuadroNVS 5 лет назад +3

    "fort night" before Fortnight......good times.

    • @Yrenne
      @Yrenne 5 лет назад +1

      Fortnight is a normal word in the dictionary. It means "two weeks". It's used a lot in literature.

    • @BarginsGalore
      @BarginsGalore 4 года назад

      Nah, bad you

  • @hetherington2066
    @hetherington2066 4 года назад +1

    This is it, this is the best episode.

  • @truespartan33
    @truespartan33 11 лет назад +9

    Who the fuck is rotem lol just the way Jake said it lol

  • @legit123456
    @legit123456 4 года назад

    The delivery of, "who the [eff] is Rotem?", had me laughing more than warranted.

  • @shoveahamproductions2896
    @shoveahamproductions2896 6 лет назад +10

    Amir predicted Fortnite

  • @AlkisenSuper
    @AlkisenSuper 12 лет назад

    Amir: Oh my God... You called us FRIENDS!"
    Jake & Amir is truly awsome.

  • @hkid92orsnow
    @hkid92orsnow 7 лет назад +3

    I thought he was elergic to muffins

  • @Jonbutter
    @Jonbutter 3 года назад +1

    i still have every word of this memorized

  • @blakkpowa
    @blakkpowa 10 лет назад +8

    This is the story about how I got my ex boyfriend.

  • @ThaIceCreamz
    @ThaIceCreamz 11 лет назад

    Does anybody know which Jake and Amir or Hardly Working where Amir feels proud of him self and says "You gotta give me that daps, you gotta give me that attaboy"