The Case Against the Sexual Revolution | Louise Perry 165
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- Опубликовано: 30 июн 2024
- In this episode, I spoke with Louise Perry. Louise is a writer, journalist, and a campaigner based in London. In 2022 she co-founded a non-partisan feminist think tank called The Other Half, where she serves as Research Director. She's the author of the debut book, "The Case Against the Sexual Revolution: A New Guide to Sex in the 21st Century," which was released in the U.S. in August 2022.
Together, Louise and I discussed common sense feminism, the sexual revolution, the feminist case for marriage, the digital harem, and much more.
Thanks for tuning in. If you enjoyed this conversation, be sure to subscribe!
-Links-
Buy Louise Perry's Book: amzn.to/3e6e9Md
Follow Louise Perry On:
Twitter: / louise_m_perry
The New Stateman: www.newstatesman.com/author/l...
The Daily Mail: bit.ly/3Ee3vxH
UnHerd: unherd.com/author/louiseperry/
Her Website: www.louisemperry.co.uk/
Follow Me On:
All Platforms: linktr.ee/mikhailapeterson
Facebook: / mikhailapetersonpodcast
Twitter: / mikhailafuller
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Telegram: t.me/mikhailapeterson
TikTok: / mikhailapeterson
Chapters
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[0:00] Intro
[1:55] What is Common Sense Feminism?
[4:06] The Sexual Revolution and Aspiring Toward Masculinity
[9:18] Economic Trade-Offs of Women Being in the Workplace
[14:12] Consequences of the Birth Control Pill
[19:22] The Feminist Case for Marriage
[20:36] Sexual Asymmetries Between Men and Women
[27:31] The Main Beneficiaries of the Sexual Revolution
[32:18] IVF and the Limits of Medical Technology
[35:23] The Digital Harem of Online Dating and High Status Men
[40:19] Tradition as a Solution to a Failed Sexual Revolution
[46:10] Maternal Parenting Instincts
[51:46] Shifting Early Family and Motherhood Norms
[1:02:15] Outro
#commonsensefeminism #sexualrevolution #motherhood #trad #mikhailapeterson
Episode Timestamps. Please support this podcast by checking out our sponsors.
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[0:00] Intro
[1:55] What is Common Sense Feminism?
[4:06] The Sexual Revolution and Aspiring Toward Masculinity
[9:18] Economic Trade-Offs of Women Being in the Workplace
[14:12] Consequences of the Birth Control Pill
[19:22] The Feminist Case for Marriage
[20:36] Sexual Asymmetries Between Men and Women
[27:31] The Main Beneficiaries of the Sexual Revolution
[32:18] IVF and the Limits of Medical Technology
[35:23] The Digital Harem of Online Dating and High Status Men
[40:19] Tradition as a Solution to a Failed Sexual Revolution
[46:10] Maternal Parenting Instincts
[51:46] Shifting Early Family and Motherhood Norms
[1:02:15] Outro
You can't knock Canadian Netflix too much, Kim's Convenience was a pretty great show.
I am a dad with two young kids. Having a family is unbelievably expensive. Also the incentive system right now is geared towards keeping you from being successful because if you get any kind of assistance, you will lose it if you make too much money. The incentive systems are all wrong.
you probably just made a drinking game with your beef stick add lol
It wasn't sexual FREEDOM that didn't work. It was a pressure to behave in one way that didn't work. That isn't freedom-- freedom is ALWAYS good.
Mikhaila, do you know how much you sound like your dad? In a good way.
Certain phrases and words and nods. Kinda cool 😎
Interesting to hear Louise say that the washing machine did more to free women than other things; my grandmother told me that the happiest day of her life was getting her first washing machine because she no longer had to spend an entire day scrubbing my grandfather's filthy overalls on a washboard. I believe that the traditional wash day routine was the equivalent of running a half marathon.
That explains why women are so obese these days.
My grandmother said similar things about washing machines, along with something I think we take even more for granted. Hot water systems. My grandmother would speak of how many daily things, doing the dishes, cleaning the floor, having a bath, meant heating large amounts of water on a stove.
People or I should say women complain about the past about women not being able to be x or y totally forgetting that for 99% of the population work was just that and physical, more physical the further back in time. In such societies work split by gender being a very logical position. In my experience on the edge of this type of society men getting up at app 4 am yo go off to do hard physical work for 8/10 hours travelling app 4 hrs a day and doing it 5/6 days a week. On the female side running a home etc was also more physical.
White goods
The other day I saw a Spanish documentary, in which the women met in the laundry and began to talk and converse with other women, washing clothes had a social aspect, I think we are assessing from a material point of view but many things from the past have more than one edge
I’m 21 and I can’t describe how much I appreciate this conversation. Thank you.
I'm happy you appreciate this. Your profile pic and username are hilarious
How you feel will change throughout your life. This is a great conversation. From my view now I think the feminist movement is what ruined this country. I am so glad I did not fall into that trap called feminism. It really isn't feminine. Being a wife and a Mother is being feminine. And I do not have children. But I see the importance of Mother's raising their children. The more money a family makes the more they want. No one ever seems to go back once they fall into that trap. I could go on.. but she is so spot on about everything.
That's one unhealthy cat!! You need to go to work too as mummy does.
Most sheeple are unaware that the Rockefeller family was one of the major backers of the women’s liberation movement for the sole purpose of taxing the other half of humanity while at the same time injecting the work force with cheaper labor rates. #fact
21 year old woman or man?
I was one of those women who was prepared to give up motherhood for the benefit of the world. Luckily at 35 I fell pregnant against all odds and within a stable relationship and he was so delighted we changed our minds. Having children has been the most fulfilling experience of our lives. We had wonderful lives before children but it is incomparable to being a family.
Some gen X man toyed with my precious time at 28 and it made me suicidal and now I am 34 and going to get pregnant this year from a wonderful man 💕
I'm 70 now and I'd decided not to have kids because of overpopulation, pollution, etc and my partner agreed, but after being an uncle to many kids and learning more about demographics, both
she and I wish we'd had kids now that it's too late.
Well, such is life....
@@helenarichard What happened to your prime years 18-26?
This made me feel sooooo much better about being a stay at home mom! My little girl is almost 2 & staying home with her has been more awarding than working for a title company, a pharmacy, & in retail. My whole family looks down on me for being a stay at home mom, but it has been the only time in my life that I feel like I have a purpose in this life ❤
I want that for myself
@@DivyaRaviraj I believe you can ❤🥰❤
My mother stayed at home and had no economic independence. As soon as he could, my father found a younger model and left my mother high and dry with no marketable skills and no money of her own. I will take working and having my own money any day over having to grovel to a man to survive.
I don't have kids and not sure if I will, but I saw my younger siblings growing up and you're doing one of the hardest and most noble jobs. Mothers' work should never be looked down on.
I wouldnt look down in you. You are living my dream 💕
As a man. I wish to acknowledge that there may be sanity in our future, the more this level of wisdom is perpetuated.
Thank you both.
Your message warms my heart.
As a man Balance is one of the most important factors in Life. I believe that EVERYONE is both Masculine and Feminine however most often it takes Until Full Maturity for you to develop the Opposite Genders Proclivities.
@@GhostlyNomad130 ok
Here I’m another men that is thankful with these wise women trying to share the truth. I have more faith in the future too
Facists the lot of u.
Im a 25 year old man and I can’t describe how thankful I am with these wise women who are not afraid sharing the real truth. You’re helping both us men and women who are just trying to live a simple life, to have a family or just a stable relationship. Is so difficult with these crazy modern society rules and high expectations. From my side I’ll try to be the best men I can. Thank you!
Lots of people I know have long term relationships and children, this attitude isn't unusual at all.
@@powderandpaint14 bruh you really gonna just give an anecdote and then assert your own beliefs with it?
@Jane B Robbins Absolutely right.They are spreading these theories with a purpose and an agenda.
@Jane B Robbins am I missing some comments here? maybe, maybe not. one thing I know for sure is your comment has no context and is almost impossible to understand. I don't agree or disagree I'm just saying your grasp on the English language is slipping. it's always annoying to see someone take an authoritative stance then write some convoluted nonsense that takes four reads to get to the point.
@Jane B Robbins again you could've made a good point but you totally missed it. You're either wrong or make no sense lol. The idea of hookup culture being the norm is a myth. It absolutely exists and seeps into the normal dating culture on a fairly regular basis. It happens enough to say its a problem and the problem lies with a few men and every woman he's ever slept with. Women want relationships with the men who don't. The men lie to the women to hook up with them, that's the man's fault, the woman is at fault for not choosing better men. Whether or not someone wants a relationship but was lied to doesn't change the fact that they hooked up. If you've ever been on a college campus or lived near one you'd understand how dumb your comment is.
When she said that the bit about how the only people who have truly benefited from the sexual revolution were high status men i could have cried.....it's so true and it's so appalling to me that people don't see that
The average guy has seen it for a long time now. Its nothing new.
She's wrong, but probably because she's young and lacks historical context. My mother was born in 1936 and she certainly benefitted in many ways from the sexual revolution. I was born in 1965 and women of my generation had many more opportunities than previous generations. They were also mostly getting married and having children in their 20s/early 30s.
@@jrd33 Huh? What you said needs clarification. Where is the benefit?
@@realalexmackenzie Lol, come on bro. Don't split hairs. If you have many applications, it is likely that you have a highly desirable partner in waiting. The average man has little to no choice in partner, so I'd say you're in a strong position. To be able to say you don't want loads of women just one meaninful relationship. Privilege is invisible to those who have it.
Five percent of men and zero percent of women.
This was a fantastic conversation, as a young married women its nice to hear people talking about marriage and children in a positive way. Rather than insinuating you are throwing you life away by having kids and/or getting married.
@@kc6810 How can you say “you don’t matter anymore” and then in the very same breath say that your husband and children need you constantly, and not see the massive contradiction there? You matter more than anyone else in the world to them. Who else, if not them, are you supposed to matter to?
@@kc6810 what’s possibly more rewarding than a close and loving family to share experiences with??
It's the wage slaves that throw their life away, toiling daily for those who don't give a damn about them.
@@central_scrutinizr kids and you first , then teach respect to him
As far as women being taken advantage of because they are usually more naturally agreeable. It gives me a new view of the tradition of a father giving away the bride (walking her down the isle). The father was not meant to be her owner but instead, her body guard and protector. Not because she is less of person but because she naturally wants to see other people happy from her agreeable nature. So having a more disagreeable father watching for the guys who would take advantage of her is incredibly helpful. So sad when we missread tradition.
Fathers are suppose to protect their daughters, but let's not forget their are fathers today that sell their daughters "marriage " in the u.s .. and initially that's what it was you marry my daughter you give me this land or cow .. so at 10 years old a girl would be married off ro a man well over 30 and that child will give birth and die from giving birth
AMEN. It’s also why fathers and brothers historically were the ones taking out vengeance on men who had taken advantage of or abused women.
Absolutely.
@@vivienneb6199 respectfully, I don’t think this practice necessarily has anything to do with TEACHING a girl to be agreeable. I believe evidence suggests women tend to be that way biologically. However, not all of us are all that agreeable (myself included). We are however smaller and weaker than men anyhow, agreeable or not, so having the men in the family traditionally protect the women is no bad thing. Of course, there have been plenty of bad fathers, but I think the point was that tradition isn’t all about negativity…there is some function and care behind it.
Or instead of labeling and limiting the masculine to an owner (authoratorian) or protector. See it for what it is a father giving apart of himself away to another man. That's it, no inversion from a cultural/societal perspective. Then see it as a ritual honoring natural law the Holy Atom/Trinity. Marriage is the exchange of electrons between atoms.
I was called a “prude” by girls in high school and college and when I met my husband (he was 25 and I was 20) he was soooooo relieved to meet a “prude.”
Yeah it's a long term payoff.
@@monikagolab8892 that by itself doesn't mean much to me personally. you can definitely find a man who does value respecting yourself sexually and setting high standards to who you allow to have "access" to you physically, without him basing all of that on virginity.
@@monikagolab8892 A mans value is assessed if he is a virgin also, being, women see him as a bit of a loser lol
@@monikagolab8892 It's more of a sad statement on the direction society is taking when that is actually so rare that it is sought after.
@@monikagolab8892 It ain't a matter of property, everything is a matter of investments, not just objects.
Sure you invest money in objects (like houses), but you also invest money and time into people (be it friendships or relationships). A bad investment is putting more into something and getting less out of it.
Putting time, money, or emotional attention to someone who put out to 50 guys around the block at the drop of a hat is a bad investment of said emotions, time, and money.
I am 42 and live with the daily pain of being childless. I am happily married but was very sick in my 30s so couldn't try for kids until I was 37. If I had been exposed to information like this I would have perhaps been able to overcome the brainwashing I constantly heard about how awful it is to have kids in your 20s. Louise is doing God's work.
@@apatheticnoncombatant7750 Good for you. I wonder how you will feel when you are old without kids though. It's a very different experience to being childless while working, holidaying, socialising etc.
I asked my ex when I was 28 if he could give me children. He made me wait...and wait... Asked again at age 30. I was such an idiot. I felt guilty because I wasn't making a lot of money... But the relationship anxiety made it impossible to work. Ended up suicidal, childless, broke up with him. Worked on myself. Found a much better man at 33 and immediate had a sit down on marriage and children because I want to know EXACTLY where I stand with any man now. Getting married and kids this year it is!
You can still have children, you still have time. My mother made me when she was 45, it was a very good pregnancy and I turned up very healthy. I also had a very good academic performance, so you don't need to fear the child being retarded or with physical disabilities, if you take care of yourself and the pregnancy properly.
My sis conceived at 46 miracles happen.Have faith.
My Grandmother gave birth to my dear Dad when she was 43½ years old back in 1929.
I sincerely hope that you have your child at the most opportune time.
As a 25 yo male who’d given up a lot of hope on getting married or having kids, this gave me some of it back
marriage 😂 ur crazy there is literally no benefit to men…enjoy being bossed around and then screwed in divorce court!
As a man you are at your prime at 35! I am a 21 year Woman... and my husband is much older and we suit each other perfect
@Daria Ahlm do you live or are from the west though?
@@metaphysicalfractionals8751,,, I live in Germany.
25? Jesus what a sad sack.
My baby was the first I held.. at 32. My husband grew up with lots of family, babysat nephews and nieces. I felt so embarrassed he was the one showing me how to do basic baby care.
When I became a mom immediately understood that we shouldn't wait till 'last minute ' to have a baby. I remember sleepless nights not being a big deal on my body/mind in my early 20s and thought THIS is what I was supposed to be doing with that ability,. Also, so many of my friends have no chance of becoming mothers due to infertility issues and now regret putting their careers first or having abortions during their 20s.
We were sold a narrative that's not true and now paying for it. We cannot just wait till later
Such a good comment about the ability to deal with sleepless nights easily in Your 20-s and what this skill historically has been used for and probably should still be used for.
Never heard anybody else comment on it in this way.
100% agree. I will be encouraging my daughters to find a good man and have a family in their early 20s and use the 30s to pursue a career if they wish to. I feel the exact same, I had my first child at 31, my 2nd at 33 and now I'm 34 trying to decide whether I want to have another child or whether this is it. pregnancy takes such a toll on the body, I wish I had met my partner and started our family earlier.
I had my children at 32 and 34. I’ve totally had the same thought that it would have been better for me to have them in my 20’s. But I was too busy building a career and getting degrees….which I happily left behind at 40 to be more present with my kids!
@@PictureItPF And I see a lot of women having kids in their early 20s ..not having careers and their husbands left them for some 20 yrs younger model or because whatever reason..so they are in their late 30s or early 40s with no job (women in 40s are not easy to employ here) and no money to support their kids...husbands do not care for kids much. I also do not see mature 21 yrs women really being able to take care of kids psychologically... It seems that u ppl think only about the physical challenges to take care of the kid and assume that someone else will provide for you. Partner can die...or leave..or get sick so well...u do need a degree to make some decent money to take care of him and kids if needed.
@@milicarajkovic1220 no where in my comment did I suggest women shouldn’t work, or that they should choose a shitty mate who would dump them for a younger model.
Mikhaila is a wonderful interviewer. She listens, doesn't interrupt and gives her guests time to answer. Always a pleasure to watch. 😍
Completely agree!
So what you’re saying is Cathy Newman should be drawn and quartered?
Didn’t realize until I read your comment you’re so right!
She seems to have very little life experience. I appreciate that she is trying to bring very actual topics though.
Better than her dad
Saw Louise on JP and man, what a top notch speaker honestly. She's so damn sharp and professional and her word choice is very efficient yet neutral. She isn't picking a fight with anyone, she's just spittin facts! It's like a good lecture!
My husband and I got married when I was 18 and he was 21. I was pregnant with our daugther. It made more sense for me to stay home. He joined the military when we found out we were pregnant with our second child. I worked part-time throughout at coffee shops and then doing tax preparation. My schedules were always supportive of my family. I went back to school to finish my BS when my youngest 2 were in high school. The youngest just graduated and I'm now halfway through a MS in Marriage and Family Therapy. I'm considering pursuing a PhD. You can have it all the feminist just got the order wrong. We've been married for almost 24 years and have successfully raised 3 winderful kids.
Thats an interesting perspective!
True me too.i did my career later after 4 kids when I was mature and thought about what I wanted. The kids moved out and the career took off . One Job at a time . How it's supposed to be
Have you read any feminist literature by any chance? My issue as a feminist is that your labour isn’t valued economically and your life without feminist policies and laws is at the will of your husband.
@@Coastpsych_fi99It looks like she worked part time after the kids grew up a bit, so she isn't economically destitute like most sahms, but otherwise yeah, I think she doesn't recognise to what extent her life is enabled by feminism.
Sad to denounce something before checking how much you'd lose without it.
@Coastpsych_fi99 yeah no. That's false. You might see it that way but it's not true.
My boyfriend told me that he wanted to have children and take care of me while I was a stay at home mom and I didn't know at the time if I wanted to do that but this discussion has definitely helped me make up my mind. Thank you. I know it's semi rare to find a man like that that I know will be a good father and provider, especially knowing that he did not come from that kind of background but he wants better for his family.
You are lucky to have a man like that
Think Before You Sleep discusses traditional relationships quite well if you wanted to see more discussions on the topic (from the male perspective in this case)
Maybe he just wants you to be dependent on him.
If you’re not married that is a hugely risky move. You have no protection and no compensation if he decides to leave.
@Just Chill it’s not meaningless if you have a a higher purpose, in my case that’s Jesus, I’m going to raise my children to follow Him and be lights in a dark world. Also, I was raised that way so I already know what it’s like and you never get bored with children around.
I just SCREAMED.
I have been hoping and praying to see you two have a conversation. Louise Perry is so wise and smart and so influenced by your Dad.
Best match up EVER.
No reason to scream. Excitement is warranted, screaming- not so much.
@@janicetribbiani7535 bless your heart.
@@janicetribbiani7535 is today your first day on the internet, janice? 🤡👵
So much fun. I love seeing these realizations about our culture come about.
Be honest Ruth, you didnt really scream, did you?
Had my first daughter when I was almost 21. My mother was livid and didn't want me to have her, but I did. I finished college, got a good job, and married her dad. We have 2 girls now. It's crazy how much women are bashed on for having children in their 20s because for me, there was the expectation you finish college and focus on your career. Other expectation was to party and do what many other city dwelling 20 year Olds do. Motherhood is seen as a burden for young women.
As a 53 year old non Conservative man, I really enjoyed this conversation.
Cheers, Ladies.
Bravo.
The sexual devolution is one of the worst things to happen to our culture in a long time. Absolutely devastating. We're seeing the consequences of it right now.
Absolutely disagree.
I cannot express how deeply this interview saddened me. I’m a mother of three grown children now. I had my first daughter at age 21 and Absolutely loved every moment of it. Unfortunately I had her out of wedlock . My married girlfriends were starting to have children also which was the norm. Although I had to go to work because I was single I still hung with my married friends. I was so grateful to have them as a group of women to confided in and support while we muddled through our first experiences with motherhood
together. It was 1980 and having children without a husband definitely not not the norm and many repercussions came with that. I never regretted having my first born. 11 years later I married my husband and has my second child at age 32. The year was 1992 and I was blessed. My husband and I chose for me to leave the work to stay home with my son and later also my youngest daughter. It was like night and day. I I knew my oldest missed out and many things because I had to work and couldn’t be home with her even though she was cared for by family members in my absence. Attitude about having children and staying home with them rather than working in a career was clearly in place. I can’t tell you the number of young women who looked down on me for choosing my children over a job. I stand by my choices however, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that the best decision I made was to make the sacrifices of material things to be at home wiith my children. All my children are adults now and often praise me for Choosing them over a career.
The pressure definitely came.from.women and weak influenced men.
"I wish I could "
"What do you do all day"
I used to answer..
"I make my own decisions what's best for my family I suggest you make the best decision for uours"
It's nice to hear the perspective of someone who has experienced both. Thanks for sharing. :)
My wedding only cost $4000. 20 children and 50 adults. I rented a country community hall that was used as a daycare during the week, so there were tones on toys. We put gym mats and toys in one corner, and everyone could watch the kids play during the reception. We had it early enough so parents could leave early and still have had a full evening. It was so easy and fun to accommodate the kids.
My husband and I were much more frugal. We drove to the church in my husbands car on a Saturday morning. We held the reception in a private room in a small pub. Being morning we had a champagne brunch rather than a formal sit down dinner. Which was quite child friendly. And cost about $400.
I live in a small town in Australia. Our local Italian restaurant hires a lady to carry babies around the dining room so the mum can enjoy her meal. We also piloted an idea to stop mothers feeling isolated. It has a huge room for along with an outdoor space designed for babies and preschoolers. There is a nurse for mother's with serious concerns, but there are also mature women who are employed to carry babies and play with toddlers so mothers can relax and enjoy a cup of tea with other mums. It's been such a success the state government is building more of them. If communities are serious about promoting families and motherhood, I think this is a great idea.
Nice. Nothing wrong with that.
It’s crazy to see these two mothers bonding over the shared stress of constantly battling with the need to check if their infant is breathing. As a mother who went through this myself, it doesn’t bode well that our culture has taught us to ‘doubt our mental stability’ for checking on our young children’s welfare when our society should have told us ‘this is just what moms naturally do’.
I had my first child right after I turned 20 and young motherhood was the greatest blessing in my life, although it was a struggle many times in the earlier years. I don’t regret it at all even though many of my peers are still childless. I am turning 40 this year and I still feel like I am able to relate to my teenagers, and my 20 year old daughter has become my best friend. Looking forward to my 40s and 50s with my husband so we can travel and do all the fun things everyone else around us did during all the years we were at home raising 6 kiddos.
#makeyoungmomscoolagain ❤❤
AWESOME.
I think if we can take away one thing from this interview is how complicated humans are and how that nothing is absolute. Surely there are a lot of downsides, negatives, and pitfalls to young motherhood, especially just after 20. But glad things worked for ya, well done.
@@rightcliquegod7653 I had many of those complications of young motherhood. I still wouldn't have changed it for any other age. I was too young to know any different and found ways to make it work. I think if I had my children when I was older, I would not have been as flexible as I was then. I'm 55 now, and my son's are 35 and 31. They are good men. I am very lucky.
You will love your 40's and 50's with your husband and adult children! I'm 55 and my children are 35 and 31. While I am no longer married, I am relishing my life and my relationship with my grown sons. Getting married and having children young for me was a "win" and I'm from New York. In the late 1980's my friends were off to college and I was married and had my first son at 20. I still wouldn't change it. There was judgement,but I didn't really care. I was living my life. 🙏💕
I am 58 and enjoying my grown children but they are a bit more spread out due to infertility issues on both sides. Ages…36,34,28,22
Thank you for addressing age related decline. Age extension does not equal quality of life. I would love to see this topic addressed. Many of my clients whom are in good health at 80+ who aren't on medications and have health issues are completely ignored by the medical model. They are also pressured to behave like a 40 to 60 year old by their families. How do you gague healthy natural aging (what is normal emotional and/or physical changes) and why do we treat aging as a disease that needs to be treated?
I enjoyed this conversation so much. As an older woman I am thankful to hear you both speaking of the joy and wonder of motherhood.
The two incomes came FIRST!!! As women entered the workforce, the married couples competed for the housing, dramatically raising the house prices. Our house in the San Francisco area went from $30,00 to $178,000 in 3 years during the late 1970s. Followed by double digit inflation in the latter 1970s and early 1980s. This gets ignored in "politically correct" history.
Nobody talks about this! For better or worse we need to acknowledge cause and effect.
@@Kate-rv6kxwe are and have been talking about this and more, but public servants follow 🪙, not their people, as do media, corporations, and governments
I met my husband when I was 19, he was 24. When we first started dating I told him I wanted to be a stay at home mom. I would finish my degree, but I would be taking time off work to raise my children. He understood the importance stay at home mothers and thought it was a great idea. We got married when I was 24, he was 29. We worked on becoming debt free before our children. It took a while and we had to be disciplined, but we did it. At 29 and 34 we had our son. I had an easy pregnancy and was able to work up till he was born. Now our son is 3 and we have a 1 year old daughter. I’ve been a stay at home for 3 years and I’m so thankful for the time I get with my children. I have a small side business I run during nap times and at night. It’s mostly a hobby to keep me busy. We save the money or use it for vacations. We waited to have children until we know we could survive on one income and I stoped using birth control at 20 when I realized how terrible they are for women’s bodies.
Younger sister is 28 and single. She bought into the feminist lies and is completely lost. She’ll never have children, doubt she’ll ever get married, and she lives a very unhappy life.
To all the young ladies who might still be reading my rant, it’s okay to want to be a stay at home mother. It’s not beneath you want to be with you’re children. It makes you a good mom. You’re biologically designed to want to be with you children and no one will love and care for them as you will. It’s the most challenging and rewarding thing you’ll ever do.
@Jane B Robbins - if you never want to grow up then that’s on you. It might be why you are depressed. Ignoring biological reality is not normal.
Totally agree with everything you said. Women have bought into this and are now paying the price. Women are so unhappy these days it is so sad. Glad to see there are some realists out there. You can't go against mother nature. 😍
@Jane B Robbins balance , yin Yang , a team in which people have different strengths and different roles but the same end goal. It’s not that complicated…
@Jane B Robbins Jesus is the perfect companion with the perfect balance between empathy & mercy, and helping you be strong, healthy, and virtuous ... if that becomes your aim.
Including being a good wife & mother.
If we've produced a shitty society, with an unhealthy worldview ... definitely GO TRAD
I read stories like these and I gotta wonder where the hell these gals are. Were you raised in church, by any chance?
I'm 31 and grew up in Chicago. I moved to rural Texas three years ago. Here in rural United States, the culture of family DOES exist. I go to parties and events with three kids, two under 5 and one a my lap. Here, I am the one late to the mom game. Most of my mom friends around 31 already have 4 to 6 kids. That culture doesn't only exist in other countries; it just doesn't exist in cities.
I've started to notice this too, that urban rural divide is real and lately I've realised, coming from a city to the country with 4 kids at 32, more people out in the country with 3 or more kids is more common. City people don't have many or any and seem to have that disconnect from nature and reality, tend to lean left because they don't understand how things outside the city work, like how food gets to their plate. Just daydreams.
Have your kids build up cities there, then! I've had enough of this anti-human culture in California. Facilitate investment and free trade as well as free speech and the importance of tolerance of all values, and boom, it'll be the richest and happiest place in all of the country. Progressive group think is destroying wealth over here and concentrating it into incompetent filmmakers and politicians. It won't be long now before out state is done for. Our population is already decreasing. Economic freedom is so important. That includes letting immigrants work by the way. Not paying them ludicrous government benefit structures, but letting them create value for everyone. That's liberty. That's the American Way.
The problem is not that women don't make enough babies in the western world (things are pretty balanced )... The problem is that our expectations on life are higher than the masses of uneducated people on third world countries where having more children is a tool for survival...... If a guy can't provide to his kids at least what he have received from his parents ... it's failure... and what we have received from our parents ...good food , shelter , university studies ...a young man (at least in South Europe where I live) is very unlikely.... On top on that there are a lot of people that don't like the life they are living ...so why they bring a baby in their world?? I totally agree with you...but your environment is the one that made you believe that having babies is a good things ... So we have to fix the context before we promote a baby boom agenda to people
@@kpax4345 Children create wealth when they enter the workforce, far more than they use up, if they are allowed to in a free society. It's economics. All those issues are not from too much population, but from too little freedom / too much government control as opposed to individual choice. Expectations don't align with what the government permits us to do as it literally steals our money through excessive taxes and market manipulation.
@@kpax4345 except replacement rates is first world countries are horrendous, you are just ignorant of that fact, so it would benefit most people to have kids. its also natural to want to reproduce. This Anti-life mentality we have in the west is not helping anyone.
Gday, I am an old professional Infantry Australian Soldier almost 80 years old and I am learning a lot from you two ladies, thank thank thank YOU !
Yes! She is correct! I’ve been watching this. My mother went to work in 1970. This created so much turmoil in our family. Yes. We had a better house and better clothes with 2 incomes. However, we children did not learn proper communication skills, self confidence, or emotional security.
This interview is refreshing. Hoping the book title will be listed below.
Thank you so much!!
She's completely correct. I spent the last ten years going to school to persue a career, but now I'm done with college and I just want to have babies. What a weird time to be alive.
@Jane B Robbins it's not weird at all, but I think what she means is the dichotomy between doing what was expected of her versus now experiencing typical female biological urges even though she prepared for the career route. At least, that's what I took from it!
@Jane B Robbins She never said it wasn’t :). I think She’s saying that once the educating is done, her biological duty is still existent and strong at that.
Young women are made to believe getting educated and working is everything + fulfills us fully. However, it only fulfills a large part of our survival needs(money) but another big part of a woman’s needs is children…
Weird time? No. Bad? Yes.
@Jane B Robbins Its neither feminine nor masculine. What a weird question to ask. Though, now that I think of it, the argument can be made that its actually more masculine since of the two, feminine and masculine, one has to be the bread winner, and it can’t be the feminine.
Can a woman become educated and still conduct her roll? Of course. But being educated doesnt, and shouldn’t, mean a 10 year degree for these women. It could of simply been a 4 year (or less) classical liberal arts degree. Where she can educate herself to communicate effectively and think critically (the supposed aim of a classical liberal arts degree) the rest of her intellectual curiosities can be easily pursued on her free time. The rigidity of going down this assembly line of high school - college - career - marriage - kids - retirement makes you think something as absurd as whether education is either feminine or masculine.
Great response! I agree
The hardest thing I've had to deal with being a stay at home mom for the past 7 years has been the lack of social support. It's been really lonely. I've wanted to go back to work simply to be around other women.
Go to the playground! There a tons of moms there looking for other moms to be friends with. What’s great too is that you’ll find other moms that want to have play dates if your kids get along. And you’ve found other moms who care about their children socializing and playing. It’s a great place to go to meet other moms.
Younger kids are usually there in the mornings and older kids are there in the afternoons.
@@umiluv I definitely do go to playgrounds!! I've just found that with 3 kids at different ages, with different sleep schedules and educational needs and activities, and the necessities of running a home, that it's actually really difficult to load everyone into the car, make it there, then make it back home in time to do naps and chores. I work with what I've got and do meet lots of people, but I've definitely longed for family or even a neighborhood where the neighbors are active in our lives and act like a community.
Agreed
Only a few generations ago women would've been socialising while raising their kids every day. Conversations over the fence if there was even a fence, hanging out washing together, kids playing together on the doorstep. Community has eroded as populations has shot up and cultures have changed - fast.
One smart policy that Louise should be pushing, is things to address your concerns of social isolation. Perhaps tax credits for mothers to organize themselves in local communities, online. Our cities are horribly designed for women. Lack of personal contact. I grew up on an old farm community, in a small town. The women helped each other all the time. Tons of women in the neighborhood had kids. It was magic.
I'm a guy and I'm really scared of binding myself to someone I love but isn't as serious as I am about it. I want a marriage for life. I think there is something uniquely beautiful about 2 people actually commiting to each other with their entire lifespans. I work hard. But if I constantly have to worry that the moment things become a bit uncomfortable she'll decide, "well my feelings aren't as strong as they once where, we have some problems, I guess I'm not happy anymore, we should divorce" it's worthless and a lot of modern people treat it exactly like that. A shallow promise that transcends nothing
Till death to us part! I know I have avoided relationships since my divorce 20 years ago because commitments are typically not kept!
one tip i would give you is not to 'play the field' because you'll be training yourself to be nonmonogamous. a lot of men think they just need to sow their wild oats and get it out of their system to marry, but all you do is train yourself to prefer variety over substance. i also think it's important for you to do the emotional work to maintain a strong relationship. women are more likely than men to view their marriage in regretful terms. this surprised me until i was with a group of women in their 50s, and all but one said they regretted marriage, and if they could do it again, they wouldn't. they just had a lot of built-up resentment because of the deferral of their dreams and ambitions for everyone else. you have to make sure that there's some balance in your marriage so those kinds of resentment don't build up. i should add that this was about 10 years ago and most of those women are still married, so just because two people stay married it doesn't mean that their marriage is a good one.
Strangely while together you still have to build you life for yourself (body, mental, financial) strange times inderd
Yep. Is there is any chance that your spouse will just sudden opt out, it's definitely not worth the risk. Mainly for men.
Love her, just don't fall in love
As a 23 year old man preparing to marry a 24 year old woman, I really agree with SO many of the things that were said here, but when it comes to child-free weddings I believe that one important thing was not mentioned.
While babies and young children who run around and make a certain amount of noise has always been a thing, I have a hard time believing that there has ever been a time in history with more poorly behaved, undisciplined, and spoiled children between the ages of 5 and 12 than there is now.
You can allow children to run and play and make noise, that’s not a problem, but the level of bad behavior and attention-seeking disruptions that occurs is not okay. If people would actually parent their children and raise them to behave and be respectful from the beginning, then I believe there wouldn’t be nearly as many child-free weddings.
But that’s just my personal opinion.
I am a father of 7. All well behaved. Apply love and discipline in equal measure. Give them plenty of love and discipline them early in their life Then they know your word is law. Never had to smack my children beyond the age of 4. Some were never smacked. Some were smacked half a dozen times aged 3 to 4. Don't negotiate. Lay down the law. But remember plenty of love and attention and games, reading books etc
Congratulations!!
@@greggrimer1428 awesome advice! Thanks for sharing 😊
I'm one of 9 children, and while I consider us a wild bunch all of our growing years, we were never insufferable! We were disciplined and showed respect.
Great! more parenting advice from non-parents.
One of your best interviews ever in my opinion. Louise is a blast to listen to and she's so good at articulating her points and building a picture across historical and current events.
I always smile when a baby cries in church, it is a reminder of new life, and always worthy to be celebrated!
That is good. New Life strong family bonds. Opportunity to raise the child in a moralistic light. 👍🏾
I was once told that if you couldn't see or hear children in church then they (the church) must be doing something wrong.
@@mariahcb9305 So if a baby is loud and the mother shows to the rear or back room of the church and you cannot see her child. That is an omen to you?
@Zoll SM no, if you cannot see a single young person or a child in church there is a problem. And I go to a church where we have mothers sitting all around the place, including myself because I also have young kids. Why would we be sitting in the back? And if mine or another's gets fussy we do tend to them and walk out until they calm down, but having kids in church is a blessing. And they are also bound to make noise because thats what babies and small children do, just saying.
Genuinely from a man’s point of view I am overjoyed to hear that conversations like this are taking place.
I've literally been mocked by women for being honest about wanting a committed relationship and building a family together.
I've been contemptible at times but I can't help but laugh these days.
I'm firm in what I want. I won't settle for any less. I have no doubt the more I continue enhancing myself in every level within and around me I will find a good woman for me.
But fuck! It can be so disheartening at times. Watching other people laugh and hookup with each other. Even the situationships can leave me feeling a little envious. But I still have at time for myself at the age of 25. I won't let any wind move me wherever it pleases.
I am a 25 year old woman and I am also the same, I always looked for a committed relationship rather than waste my time with low quality miserable people who hump each other for a living. There are many of us and things will change so I am stating positive
Being firm in what you want is not necessarily the issue in finding love. Relationships often involve compromise and the ability to understand and adapt to each other's needs and desires. It can be frustrating if you have been mocked by women for being honest about your own desires. However, it's important to remember that everyone is different and has different preferences when it comes to relationships. It's okay to explore and have different experiences, and to learn more about yourself in the process. A good partner is someone who shares your values and beliefs, and who can support you through the ups and downs of a relationship. It's not necessary to follow a certain "correct" way of being a good partner, as everyone's needs and desires are different. It's okay for some people to enjoy hooking up and exploring different experiences, and to commit to a relationship when they feel ready for something more.
wtf? never heard a woman complain about a man wanting a committed relationship. That is crazy.
@@leedlbagginshield8492 yes it's a bit delusional, maybe they didn't want commitment with him.
Maybe it was your shitty personality.
Her book is the most pro-woman thing I have seen (and read) in the past 20 years. It is excellent. I highly recommend it.
Also read Marry him by Lori Gottlieb
Love what she says about becoming a mother & how it changes your whole perspective. It really helps me understand how some woman i know can be supporting such apposing lifestyles for the upcoming generations. "Mothers cannot be autonomous"
thank you ladies!
Mothers many times need to be autonomous, specially if they become widows or divorced . Too many women from the generation that suffered the world wars or any other war did not had the privilege of having their husbands return alive and had no other option that becoming autonomous.
@@carolinaarrillaga3721 thank you for widening my perspective!
The discussion on differences and the need to factor these in to medical treatment is fascinating. If we feel it necessary to take into account something as obvious as height in this, then its blindingly obvious that there are so many other factors we cannot ignore. Great discussion.
One of the most refreshing and insightful podcasts I have heard in months. As a mother I needed to hear this and I wish I heard it sooner. Yes, women want to be there for their babies instead of going back to work after a few months (not to mention sooner)
Humanity will right itself, we always have. So happy I found this conversation, it was really eye-opening
Thank you Mikhaila and Louise, this was an extremely eye opening episode, really important information. My wife and I want to have kids in the next few years (I am 29 she is 27) but we both work full time, she is the higher earner, and we can't imagine affording it now that we bought a townhouse. This has highlighted to me that Children should really be a priority and not an afterthought or something we hopefully get to later, at least for me. Always appreiate the different voices you host on your podcast. All the best to you and God bless!
I'm 35 and my wife is 32. We've struggled for years to have children because we waited too long. Don't make that mistake. My wife is pregnant now, but it took alot of time and money. Don't put this on the back burner.
@@vivienneb6199 that's the plan!
@@vivienneb6199 it's just an economic reality might change in reality but we cannot get by on my income and we could possibly on hers if I supplement it with weekend jobs etc. Some people don't have the luxury to decide that. Definitley dont when you live in Vancouver, BC Canada where townhouses are selling for near $1M and gas prices are over $2/Liter ($7 or $8/gallon basically) everything is on the brink of being unaffordable on two decent incomes.
Don’t wait until too late. I got lucky and had a child at 35/36 without complications. I had to beg my husband to have kids because he didn’t want any. Now he’s finally realized how awesome kids are and we are in our early 40s. I’m sad it took him so long to figure out that it’s cool to have more than one lol. He has the ability to keep having kids but I don’t have that luxury. God willing, we can have another.
@@josephreusch - it’s a good idea to move honestly. Your family should be the priority in your life. We stayed in Los Angeles because our parents were there but my mother in law ended up disowning us for political differences anyway so we left.
We’re much happier not having to rent and having a nice big plot of land and a bigger home for $1k less than we were paying. I get to stay at home and raise our son, have a garden, etc. Even though my husband took a pay cut we moved to a state that has no state income tax so he actually brings home the same amount as he did in Los Angeles.
Don’t stay for friends and family like we tried to. You should prioritize your own family and well-being. My mom is thinking about moving out to where we are now because LA is becoming so wild.
Be the change you want to see in your life. Maybe the ppl will follow you.
Monotone voice makes people sound smarter as well. I love how much thought and care was taken in the discussion, and it felt totally natural and unscripted!
This women is amazing. Calm, balanced, thoughtful, feminine, articulate, smart. She's done so much research on this subject.
She doesn't yell, scream or push down the agenda.
She's sat down and thought about every aspect of this conversation.
The bit about 'marriage being a good for women' makes total sense. To summaries...
Women are more agreeable on average, more neurotic, men are more Sexual. Post Sexual revolution, women being encouraged to behave like men thanks to feminism. Only exception is high status men.
Men are flexible with long term vs short term strategy. This CAD mode - men's promiscuity.
Hyoergamy cluster towards high society men.
10% of men get 60% of likes on social media.
High status, serially Monogamous. Digital Harems. They set the terms.
This last line is absolutely spot on from my observations in Sydney over 30 years.
Thank you for your efforts and output. God bless.
Thanks so much for this episode!!!! I was feeling kinda lonely about my way of living motherhood and listening you, just gave me the best experience of my -still warm- tea tonight. Thanks a lot !! To both of you ❣️✨
Thank you for discussing this and please continue to get these discussions out there. ❤
Shout out to Louise Perry. Fantastic in articulating the truth of our times.
She’s got a wonderful voice wow. Hope she narrates her own books.
@@vivienneb6199 well if it works it works 🤷♂️
It isn't even just elite or high status men expecting sex early on even before defining the relationship. Men of all backgrounds on dating apps expect sex before even agreeing to be exclusive to you.
A week into talking to one man after going on 3 dates, he was pressuring me into sexting even after I told him I want to take things slow. He told me he was fine with going at my pace, but that was a lie
Some guys are like that. But there are some that are pretty nice too. It took me a while to meet my husband but it did happen eventually. We have been together for 5 years. It's doable. But it does take some extra searching.
@@jester7038 hey, thats not my fault. Thats how I was taught to kiss. I don't have a whole lot of experience 😂
@@jester7038 i just found it funny you replied with that because I ended up going tongue on the first kiss I had with that guy and he told me that was unexpected.
Youre not the problem, I am. My first kiss was during a hook up because I have trouble finding men who wanna date me and i caved. So I didn't know thats not what youre supposed to do. It is strange the women you've went on dates with do that tho
You have to understand that men know that chads/Tyrones are smashing on the first or second dates with little effort and guys are like "why should I be doing all this waiting and effort when the other guys can get it for doing basically nothing". Most females nowadays just use guys for free meals and attention.
@@thegreataynrand7210 I did tell this guy I hooked up before, but it was with a man I loved and knew for years. He didnt feel the same way so I was moving on.
I guess guys will hear that, think im easy, and expect things to move fast. Fair enough. All i want is to finally be in a relationship, but all i get is men begging me for nudes and then they have a sudden change of heart once they get what they want
This woman is the ray of light in this woke darkness
Amazing conversation, amazing guest with brilliant ideas. It changed a lot of my views. I was thinking for some time that something is not right with this liberal values regarding marriage and sexuality, now after watching this it made me understood how important the family values are and why it has been in this way through human history! Thank you for this amazing talk!
Women were thrown under the bus and lied to. She is correct. It was about lowering the cost of labor by forcing women into meaningless jobs. My wife told me from the start that she expected me to work for her so she could stay home and raise the kids. We have had hard times in the past but we stuck to what was best for our kids.
I hope to have this some day! I keep praying to God that if He will it be, He will send me a man that can provide for me while I provide at home!!! There will be bumps of course but nothing that can't be worked through. thank you for sharing this. I feel that there's still hope.
So they believed the sweet words of the 🐍 yet again?
You are absolutely right. Follow the money....
So do you guys homeschool?
that reality is non existent for the majority men and women now, the bed has been made gotta lay in it.
It is sad to think that many adults have never spent time around children. I could definitely see that being a big contribution to the chronic depression of our society.
Indeed. The fact that many adults in this generation are even disgusted by children is frankly a tragedy and a testament to how cruel society can be to itself.
Meanwhile, other adults refuse to have children because they were aound children, and didn't see the advantage of having them. Urbanization and industrialization eliminated the need to have children for survival. Now children are either accidents or genuinely wanted and planned.
I haven't been around them much. We were looking at having some but with a surprise divorce I don't think I will have any at all. I don't really see the need or point.
I don't hate kids but a lot of them are misbehaving little shits.
I spent lots of time around them when I was one. That was enough for me. :-D
What a great conversation. Thank you both.
Outstanding interview. Perry is excellent, on top of her game and I wish her every success.
So many brilliantly articulated points, non stop - so much good stuff! Needed so much to balance the confusion propaganda. Thank you both for this.
You’re awesome
I heard Louise Perry talking to men before so it's so good to hear her talking to a woman and fellow mother. I felt very emotional hearing things I have been thinking and felt like there was no one who agreed with me before now. I started questioning a lot when I became a mother almost 13 years ago so it's been lonely.
Mikhaila, your right that soft British voice is amazing! I could listen to her for days! I also appreciate her perspective on things. She almost makes feminism sound sane. And to hear you guys talk about motherhood was just beautiful. Even as a man I really appreciated that. So thank you!
I believe everyone should watch this discussion, and just be aware. I don't even care who agrees or disagrees, rejoices or mourns about the present social developments and standards. Just be aware of these realities.
Louise Perry is such a force for good imo. A long overdue antidote to the damage done to male and female sexual dynamics.
@@mewk4261 I don’t agree that she is. I think she’s first helping women to ‘wake up’ from the feminist induced lie we’ve been raised on. After that it’s up to both woman and men to recognize how we’ve both been affected by toxic social engineering. Men have been target in different ways.
Too goddam late to reverse this hell that your sex has endorsed.
@@effygram8159 you know how to avoid that question well
@@mewk4261 not at all
@@mewk4261 “why does everything gotta be about men?”😩
Wow, I so appreciated this video. It is just so full of practical wisdom, and it validated my own personal experiences as well. As someone who got married at 19 and had four kids by age 26, everything that you said about social acceptance of young motherhood (especially as a stay at home mom) is just spot on. It’s sad and honestly makes me tear up, but at least I know that this isn’t all in my head. It’s not all my fault that it has been impossible to make friends as a young mom.
Thank you 💕
Hopefully now they've grown a little you have been able to have some friends
@@cattan4696 My youngest is only 2 now, but I am hopeful that it will get easier as they age!
Damn did people not call you crazy?
The loss of status is painful. I felt so valued as a student in high school and in college. My skills and talents were recognized regularly with verbal praise and grades. Not so when I became a mother. The endless chores and lack of finished tasks/accomplishments was so hard. I also had a huge loss of identity as a mother. The loss of body autonomy was super hard too especially as a sexual abuse survivor.
Intellectually I know motherhood is deeply valuable and being a present stay at home mother is something I wish I had had. Sometimes my feelings have other ideas. I’ll sort it out eventually.
I can understand that. I decided to do both. I kept working, but not full-time. (Neither did their father btw. We both reduced our work hours)
Balancing work an family is possible, but you can’t do both 100%. In two years I will go back to full time work because my children are getting older. And I’m not looking forward to it 😅 even though I love my job.
Let me reassure you: you most likely were praised and valued for being a young pretty woman. It’s the same with employees - when you see a girl struggling a bit, you praise her and help her, when you see a male not quite making it you just fire him lol
@@georgeshomodi3498 it’s nice that you assume I was a pretty teen. I was not. Braces, acne and frizzy hair meant zero suitors. I was praised for my academics and artistic skill not my looks. I admit I did not have a solid foundation of internal confidence or sense of worth.
I think many people have a hard time when their identity is based on what they do/produce/achieve and then cannot do that thing. Isn’t that part of why it’s so crushing for men when they become unemployed? Or why it’s so hard for women when they become mothers and can no longer do the things that made them feel like themselves.
@@casdraws haha you’re right, that was just an assumption
It is crushing for men to be unemployed, I suppose, because they understand that from that point on they are worthless. Like literally, I can swear on anything that nobody cares about you if you’re a man. I have quite a story, actually: if you’re a Ukrainian woman, you’re a welcomed refugee anywhere in the world. If you’re a Ukrainian man you’re locked up in your country, conscripted and got killed :3
But also, men generally don’t care if a woman has a high paying job or anything. So while a woman may suffer for a hit to her self-assessment, she will not be bullied out of social life / dating opportunities etc after losing her job (regardless of what was the reason, childbirth or something else)
@@georgeshomodi3498 yep. Men and women have different challenges or disadvantages.
I love that you said traditional motherhood and fatherhood needs to be made cool again. YES! YES! 🙌
It's not cool
So glad you had Louise Perry on. Her book is gold.
Co sleeping is the way to go! When my kids were little in the 90s it was called the Family Bed. My ex husband is a fabulous father but he didn't really get into any of the kids until around age 2 while I listened to the breathing.
I can relate to your experience. My husband was always fascinated by our babies but couldn't really figure out how to socially interact and understand them until they were around 2 years old, and then increasingly more as they grow.
Yes! I used to feel so hurt, like, "don't you love our baby", with each one, but once they turned 2 he was all in, and I now realize that's just natural.for fathers to not be all gaga over babies.
Loved this interview, very important conversations that people are not having. The future of the generations is not completely lost as long as there are people like you bringing comman sense to light! Thank you!
More of these conversations, please. Two women talking about being a women and the female experiece is exactly what this world needs right now.
My daughter wasn’t trying to wait to get married, she just didn’t find a decent young man who would commit to be good to her. She had very disappointing relationships, some causing trauma.
Yea, generally young women need to look for older men, it seems. especially in the west. So much of todays culture is about sex and partying that a lot of young men simply have no understanding of, or interest in commitment and settling down.
What an excellent conversation. As a 25 year old childless woman, I'm starting to feel the pain & grief of the requirement for 2 incomes just to survive. I don't want my future children raised by day care & school, but I struggle to see the alternatives. It's saddening.
Stay strong ! Keep Your eyes on the prize.
I wish You the best of luck in getting the kind of family and life that You truly desire !
There ARE alternatives, but you have to make compromises or be creative to make it work. For starters, if you don't want to have the same "requirements" as everyone else, stop living like everyone else! Live simply and save your money. Start a side hustle you can do from home when you do have children. Move to an area with reasonable wages and home prices. It's become more difficult to live comfortably with only 1 income, but if it's what you truly want it can be done.
@@cassie1264 You are right, there are compromises to be made - but both parties have to be okay with those compromises. Moving to a place with lower COL also means less work. Here in Canada, cost of living is virtually the same everywhere.
Im almost 25 and in the same boat as you
There is always a way. Lowering your standard of living is one.
Louise Perry is so lovely! I didn't know of her before this but will be checking her out. She's so thoughtful and intriguing. Great conversation.
I love that someone is finally having this conversation.
I am from South Africa and we have TONS of restaurants and "eat and play spots" all over the country. Some are better than others but it isn't difficult at all finding a spot like this when you need it. Very common and so appreciated as a parent of 2. These places usually cater for kids from toddler age to pre-teens.
As a male I loved this interview very informative I learned a lot very good questions were asked... Love the guest speak so nice love the voice thank you great interview
Agreed, very good interview!
Great interview, it's so nice to see a rational approach to such ideals.
God bless you and yours
Im 50 years old. Mmy mother is 71 . She has a masters degree in chemistry. She was a workaholic and will happily tel you that she ony got married and had children because that was what society demanded in her day. I had the only mother that worked when I was in elementary school. I resented greatly that she worked.. I got married as a teenager and raised 4 children. Its interesting how childhood experiences affect your life
Honestly, I find it very hard to say no in circumstances as well which is why I really try to choose wisely before putting myself into certain situations. I dread the confrontation that I believe would come from me stating my boundaries and saying no so it would in theory be easy for me to be almost bullied into agreeing to something I’m not comfortable with
What a breathe of fresh air. Also I started bawling for some reason when you spoke about Serbia because I yearn for something like that so bad. I get nervous just leaving my house with my baby from the disapproving looks i get from older women (im a 26 year old stay at home mom).
To heck with them. You are doing it right and shouldn't ever be embarrassed by that. You are prioritizing your family and should be PROUD of yourself for doing so. Keep it up and find others like yourself for support- we are out there! Blessings on you.
What the heck?! 26 is a good age to have kids. I wish I had started sooner. I don’t know where you are but a) ignore those ppl or b) move lol.
It’s funny because in Los Angeles it’s the dream for women to not have to work and raise their kids at home. You’re considered super wealthy because your husband can afford to take care of the family without the wife having to work.
I have no idea why ppl look down on that. The Boomers are a bit weird like that. My mom and mother in law both told me to go back to work so we could have more money but a) I didn’t want a stranger to raise my child and b) all the money I earned would have gone to taxes, daycare, maid service, and ordering food so what would be the point?
People think they know better but you can save a LOT of money supporting your husband at home by extending the money he brings in.
Plus, you get to know the neighbors and create a community around you and that does not happen when the wife also works. I know because we’ve done both - I worked before we had kids.
ignore those old hags...they're THE WORST
❤❤
It’s defensiveness from older women in so much pain because of so many abortions and working so hard to get ahead or survive.
Thank you SO much for this interview. What a relief to hear this perspective! I feel like the odd one out for having a conservative perspective -- for thinking family, monogamy/lasting meaningful relationships, mother in the home, etc. is sacred. Sexy's important but within the right context. Your Dad (JBP) touches upon this subject at times & I always wish he'd say more -- or that someone would say more about this (although I understand why he doesnt). Birth control changed the western world significantly in every possible way & hardly anyone ever mentions this. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Im DEFINITELY sharing this one! THANKS, MIKHAILA -- I LOVE YOUR PODCAST.
💖🙏🏼💖🙏🏼💖🙏🏼💖
Agreed! I'm also one of the few women in my social circle who feels this way. It's such a relief to see those perspectives shared by other women. 💞✨
This was such a nice conversation! Thank youu for all the love and support ❤
Fascinating. What an absolutely fascinating and informative discussion. Glad it came up on my recommendations.
I'm so proud to be a stay at home mom, pregnant with #4. My husband and I started very poor, but we are both dedicated to being a one-income household. It means we will have to move to a less than desirable state to afford a house, but we had to prioritize our needs: our family culture, homeschooling, a home to raise the kids in.
If you had less children you would be able to afford more. Has this ever occurred to you?
@@wyleecoyotee4252 that's assuming that I want more stuff rather than a family.
@@flynnmorrow6945
You can provide better quality for less individuals than spreading everything out thin.
Do you want your kids to be successful and get higher education or would you rather the girls be only qualified to be just a housewife?
@@wyleecoyotee4252 higher education is not the only way to get a lot of money. In fact, it's a barrier in many cases to actual intelligence.
And there's nothing wrong with preparing young women to be mothers. 🙂
@@sw3783 Do you homeschool? It's one of my favorite things, and I was so daunted by it in the beginning. It's put my fancy private school education to the test (turns out my knowledge of history was seriously lacking) and has made me much more disciplined. I end up enjoying time with my kids a lot more, too. Highly recommend!
I loved this conversation. I really wish I had known this in my teens and twenties, but better late than never…
This was such a interesting podcast. Thank you so much. Really helpful. Clarified a lot of things. ❤
Wonderful episode, Mikahila. Love Louise Perry's journalism. Look forward to reading her book.
Great conversation / topic. I'm looking forward to reading Mrs. Perry's book!
This was a great listen, I finished her book in a few days. I highly recommend it!
This is a great podcast. I'm studying all aspects of all of the issues you are discussing.
Louise is a real gem. Good job having her on
wow this one is one of best interviews so far! thank you
American stay at home mom living in Serbia here, thank you for reminding me why i want my son to grow up here! It's so true, American society almost forces parenthood to be difficult and lonely
👏🏻👏🏻 bravo
Nice to hear ladies! Thank you. As a decent, successful man who cannot get the time of day from most women, it is good to hear someone on that side of the fence be honest about it
This podcast was fascinating to listen to. Louise Perry is so articulate, and composed and knowledgeable. I really learned a lot listening to the both of them. Like she said there was definitely positive and negative things that resulted. What I do think that benefits women in today’s society is that we do have a lot more options. Dating, marriage, college, when to have children or not. (I was reading a lot of comments people debating when was the best time to have children) And women/couples can do what works best for them and their family and situation. Also I was reading a few comments about women felt they were sold a narrative, and I get that.
”like modern woman can have it all” And yes I believe you can have it all, whatever that looks like for you. But not at the same time. Which takes a lot of pressure(and maybe guilt) off of women.
I’m definitely interested in reading her book.
I am with my partner since we were teens we had our first son just shy of twenty , we stepped up and became the parents we needed to be went on to have 3 more kids in a short amount of time , it was the making of both of us , the best thing about having kids young is the motivation it gives us and the surreal refeltion of your own behaviour true your kids that most young people dont have now days they can act how they want talk how they want think what they want and dont care what they means for their own sense of who they are , also from what I can see we have so much more energy physically then our friends with kids the same age in there 40s , mentality we went from being kids to having kids we know what they need , older parents in my expirance seem to struggle more with having to put another human being before themselves after spending half a life time putting themselves, their carrer, their social life first .... the HUGE downfall is that we each have one or two friends our own age that we have know since before having kids ....other then that all our friends are ar least 15 years older then us , and especially as a mom and as a 28 year old women I'm not treated the same way as the rest of the friend group are ,they mother me and while I love the wisdom I get from these older ladys and they are really kind to me I don't feel like we are real friends I wish I had other young mom's with young husbands to go true life with , but the only other type of young mom's I've seen online or in person are the type to drop their kid off at the grandparents for days at a time and the kid is practically being raised by the grandparents... the mother has basically kept her baby but carriered on with life as usuall waiting for the day she starts her real family ,
or they only see their kids from when they pick them up at 5:30pm till 7pm when the go to bed otherwise their kids in daycare from 7am that morning being raised by sombody else , I wish their was a community for sombody like me it gets painfully lonely somtimes 👍
This podcast was amazing. Just re-listened.
I learned so much about myself as a woman in this podcast! Thank you!
like what? the fact that you were being lied too
I was going to comment with an academic bent, but feel it is perhaps more fitting to simply thank you both dearly for having such a well rounded conversation that in no way comes across as an ‘all men’ attack. Which (rightly or wrongly) can be perceived in such conversations (phenomenologically speaking).