Being lonely in Thailand…
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- Опубликовано: 1 сен 2023
- Loneliness in Thailand is something I deal with regularly, and I think talking about this is important…
Life in Thailand after leaving the UK.
Join me on my Thailand adventure as I attempt to create a fruit farm on five acres of land, build a house, dig a well for my own water source and install solar panels to become completely off grid!
Watch me generally fumble my way through every process, trying to keep positive and upbeat throughout 🧘♂️
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✅support the farm by becoming a member on our Patreon page. We plant your choice of fruit tree and attach your name to it, so that you can watch it grow over the years. Choose from Mango, Banana, Avacado or Lime trees… just $5
patreon.com/LifeinThailand777
✅our holiday rental villa in Southern Spain, if you’d like a relaxing and peaceful holiday away from the hustle and bustle
abnb.me/t5RcAVwSKub
✅if you’d like to generously buy me a coffee I will love you forever 🥰 www.buymeacoffee.com/benthailanZ
Chin up mate I’d rather be in Thailand lonely than in the UK lonely😊
Right? Or Canada.
Or Australia!!
I see Ben you are becoming a psychology consultant-adviser!!! Great !!
Don't forget to put Flamboyants trees around your mansion ! They grow quickly giving good shadows.
Keep calm and carry on.
What you say about liking your own company is very true. I spilt my time between the UK and not to far away from you in Kumpawapi, Udon Thani. Six mths - Six mths. I was a hgv driver living in my 🚛 truck six days a week. So being in rural Thailand wasn't a problem. Having a good bird helps la.
I love Asia. I enjoyed watching your videos in the rural areas - reminds me during I lived during the Khmer Rouge --I was about 6/7 years of age. The rains are the reminiscences of the past during the years Zero. We used to live in several Thai camps before immigrating to the USA in June of 1982’s.
Appreciate your thoughts and honesty for talking out about this. It can be a bit of a risk on the you tube , because people are seeking videos for information or feel good etc. However this channel is about the move to Thailand and everything that goes along with it. It’s great that you opened up and had the guts to talk about how you are feeling to a set of you tube clicks and strangers.
I moved from the UK Yorkshire to Australia and feel exactly the same, I spend a lot of time in Thailand travelling moto biking, sight seeing and love the place. I understand, you love to push yourself and feel accomplished at what you do and feel self development in the process, however some days you just need a wing man or someone to bounce ideas off / talk to reassure.
Recently found this channel and really enjoy the relaxed vibe , edits aren’t bad either. Keep it up mate , top job so far 👍🏻 🍹 🚜 🌱 ☀️
After being in Thailand many years, be your own person around other foreigners, it’s very difficult to be friends with others where interests and cultures are different.
Seems like you found an outlet for your
communication loneliness… with the videos and it works for you.
Why not join a local organic farming group (Thai or Farlang organised). Good way to meet people, learn more about farming, and sell your surplus production.
I haven’t spent enough time in Thailand yet to be lonely but I see your point! Great Video appreciate your openness!!! I do miss the guy banter when I’m their. Plus no one get my jokes 😂
I am still building my house 5 years from start and it is not even a big house.
I stopped building when I cam back to the UK 3 years ago.
There are many Farangs in Udonthani (Central Udonthani).
Problem is in Thailand you have a limited number of farangs living in any given area, and they are not necessarily from the same country as you. Even in your own country you probably only have a very limited number of close friends so being "forced" together with other farangs is similar to being at work where you probably find 90% of people insufferable and wouldn't give them the time of day outside of a work setting. I was lucky in that I had a Canadian friend over there a few years back and despite him being my parents age we got on great, unfortunately just before covid he had been back to Canada and then came back to Thailand and was killed in a traffic accident, I discussed it with his wife that I think he had Canada in his head when he tried to cross the road and looked the wrong way and stepped straight into an oncoming car. I still miss him whenever I'm over in Thailand but good meaningful friendship is rare, I can count on one hand the number of truly close friends I have in the UK every one else are just people I know. Hopefully you will find someone who is on your wavelength. Maybe there should be some kind of group in Thailand of expats where you can add your interests and it pairs you up with someone fairly local. I'm sure it will be a big help when you get moved in to the house and you can finally spread your stuff out and make it yours, can't be that much longer now 8 weeks or so ??
Oh god that’s awful about your Canadian mate. Bloody hell. You’re right, in Uk I was part of a small group of close friends, luckily we all still chat most days on wattsapp etc. Yes I’ll be so busy once we finally move in I won’t ever be lonely again 😇. Thanks for the nice comment
Very sad to hear that 😢
Go to Bangkok for a while, you will soon want to be lonely again.
😂😂😂
It probably doesn't help your bouts of loneliness to be on the farm away from a lot of activity & human interaction but you can be just as lonely in a city center. Having spent time on my own on several trips to Thailand, I would suggest getting involved with different hobbies or groups that you might have expertise in. You will find there are many others in the same situation & as the old adage goes, "you have to kiss a lot of frogs to find your prince." I also found drinking & loud music not my activity choice but I did find common ground with learning how Thais make & build things. Their ingenuity & creativity is something I found many of them willing to teach if you show a little interest.
I was sippaced by two huge hurricanes in 2017. I have been I. The USA since 2019, then COVID, then war, then economy…I feel lonely often in the USA. Have had the same neighbors and ai still don’t know their names, they wage, when they must. Just unreal how secluded life is a college town in the usa
Yep. Chin up mate. You are doing a great job!!!!
Love your videos and honesty!! You are 100 percent right about recommending folks start there own vlog to get express themselves and let it out.. keep it up! Hope to meet you in the land of smiles some day..
Cheers Steve 👍
Hang in there. I’m in Bangkok if you ever visit. 😊
Social media does help, I like FB because I like photography and writing. If you are not actually doing something together it can feel forced to talk with people you have nothing in common with. If you are here awhile you will probably find that Thailand is a very transient place with a tremendous turnover. Most people I have known over the decades have moved elsewhere or died.
I think it is normal top feel lonely at times. One thing, you have made a major change. I thought about retiring in Thailand but there are some things that bother me. I won't list them but it is enough for me to decide not to retire in Thailand. I will come back as a tourist every few years. My wife is Thai. For me, I think I am too old to start over.
Cilla Black in a Thailand video - now I've seen it all !! Good vids, keep it up
Living in Issan as well, arrived here, full time, 2021 and also "playing" with 19 rai of land though nowhere near along the journey as you are. Fascinated to follow what you are going to do with the land as we also find growing rice a total waste of time as it barely breaks even. Only recently discovered your channel, keep up the good work and a lot of what you have discussed resonates as I also avoid the farang bar scene... my wife, Issan lady, took me to a German bar in the Pullman hotel and never again 😲
😆😆😆
Nearly 5 years out in the country side of japan , hell I don’t even see other foreigners unless I go to a drift / track event which is let’s just say maybe once every 4 months but even if you make friends it’s japan they all end up leaving cause this place is hard to live in. So even if you make friend you end up having to say bye to them. And those that do stay well their let’s just say a little bit different. It’s not easy and even for me 5 years it’s getting to me too. It’s just being human we need people to interact with that are on the same level. I work remotely so my clients are in Australia but still face to face is important type of contact we all need.
I feel lonely too, at times , I have a Thai gf who I see 3/4 nights a week , it’s great, but I feel a bit detached due to the cultural differences & sometimes language barrier to have a good old chat and express how you feel sometimes .. I like my own company yes but it’s difficult to interact with other foreigners when you live in areas without many about ..
Hello Ben, another great topic to discuss. I do crave speaking to other farangs after a while of being immersed around Thai's and not being able to conversate with them. A cousin to my wife married an Irish man and we get on good together, however, I speak New Zealand english and he speaks Irish/ English. So we speak totally different languages and I have to listen extremely closely and try to piece together what he is saying, it can be lots of laughter. However, when I come across a kiwi or aussie it is great as we can understand each other right away. The nearest city has lots of farang but most are not friendly which I find strange as saying hello seems a normal way of life to me.
Living here 15 year in Bangkok most of my friends are Thai and sometime we come together in some Thai resto, i am never alone i have my partner my thai family and my thai friends, but i also love the alone time like you have.
I'm the same way- Retired here from u.s with my Thai lady for 7 yrs. Have more Thi friends than ex pats. and to be honest I'm happier-
True friends are hard to find yet are some of the most important people in your life. Talking to a camera isn't the same as having a conversation with another person. Take the time to meet and greet with others and build some relationships there. yes, being alone is a treasure sometimes. Having friends is also vital.
Totally understand what you are saying. You have to click with people, like any relationship, you're usually drawn to people because of things in common, same sense of humour etc... But to be put together with someone who you just don't gel with would be like an arranged marriage (sure you may learn to love them but they aren't you first choice)
Ben. We are not far from you. In Ban Huay Ham Tang. You and Anna are welcome anytime. Anne and I would love to have you over. I'm still going up and down from Perth but next year will be home full time. Will make sure to invite you next time I'm there. I am not a bar person either but enjoy good company a good meal
Cheers Bernard. Yes let me know when you’re back over this way 🙏🙏
One of the best parts of being an expat is that people have a tendency to drop social rules. You'll find friend groups that have big age ranges, and people tend to be friendlier up front and therefore easier to make friends with. To me, this is the best part of being an expat. But I seem to be the polar opposite of you 😂, having a big group of friends to go to the bar with is my number one priority🤦😂. Once your house is finished you'll have your home base to invite people over, then you'll be in your home base and still be able to make friends. Let your wife make the play dates for couples! I've been in the US for all of covid, and it's been horrible... I miss people and people watching😂😂😂
Great tourist selfies here! You obviously really love filming yourself when visiting , so interesting to see.
Keep up the good work!
Hi, Steve here. I know exactually how you feel
I moved to rural Thailand 3 years ago.Built a house very much like yours.Quote build time was 6 months. Real time was 2 years.
A long way from Forigners. Only non thai for 100klms. Yes normal to feel lonely. Wifes thai family would visit at times, i would sit in the corner as they all laugh and joke in Thai.
I have lived in Gated estates in Hua Hin, as many different nationalitys lived there, always fighting.
Chin up, things will only get better.
Remember No where is 100% perfect.
Love your vids
I'm a 40 year old cockney. 19 years around here and have never found anyone who I 'bounce off'. Most foreigners you can't trust, others its like going on a date with a woman who catfished you from Tinder. Be nice to have real mates but I'm happy with my kids and sometimes an interaction.
Great video.
That’s what you call living a life
You and I are slightly younger than the normal expats around these rural areas, I moved here sept 2020 too but have spent many months in the same area over 10yrs so have a few friends in the area, I like a a beer or 2 but can’t think of anything worse than stopping at a bar with a table full of unknown forangs because they are normally older and have had different experiences then they proceed to interrogate your life and tell you everything you are doing wrong 😂
The more men like you speaking up around mental health and well-being is needed. All your thoughts and feelings are so valid and real for many people living in a foreign country. Actually, they are valid and real for many people living in the country they were born. It seems to get harder making new friends as you get older. However, we are all social creatures and I truly believe that we constantly look for others that we can connect with and share experiences. The greatest laughter is that laughter that you have with friends who share your humour and views. We all remember that time when tea squirted out of your nose because a mate did or said something so funny you almost broke a rib. Those days don’t have to be lost.
Great video. I'm a retired expat from the US, been in Thailand five plus years.
My Wife of 40 years passed in 2017. Came here in 2018. Was fortunate enough to meet a great Thai lady; we've been together ever since.
Lived jn Phuket 4 1/2 years. Was good. Made some foreigner friends. Then got too crowded and needed a change.
We moved back to her hometown. Trang, southern Thailand. Relaxed place, people nice, things to do. Great base for traveling.
But few foreigners. And none where we live.
But don't miss them. Stay in touch with friends and family on social media. And talk to some on trips.
But all ok. Thai People friendly. Relaxed, peaceful and happy.
Congrats. It sounds idyllic 🙏🙏
@LifeinThailand777 Thanks. All good. Good luck.
Great video Ben…I’m lucky enough to live in Thailand..close to Ubon Ratachani…I occasionally get lonely..it’s normal …I think you will naturally find friends yourself without help from anyone. Your videos are marvellous ..👍
I'm not far away from you. I'll give you a buzz when my place is built, I won't have bar but you can come round for a barby, plant some banana trees and drop a line in the pond 😅
👍👍👍
Love Meiji.
My Thai wife and I don't live in Thailand full time yet but spend 3 months a year using our house in Korat as a central base. I have expat friends that like catching up and drinking in sports bars - not my seen neither ! I miss having conversationd in English but I speak to my work colleagues and friends in Australia from time to time which helps. I assume you doing your you tube helps you in a similar way? I love the loneliness but I reckon it's Sabai not loneliness and should be embraced. I prefer to have dinner with expats friends together with my wife as I don't drink much neither. I do have a tendency to say good day to farangs at the lotus/ homepro etc some speak to me but some can't speak English anyway. My wife and I love what you're doing. Keep it up 👍 Chok Dee Khulp 🙏
What a lovely comment, thanks for that 🙏
I know you said. No rush with house.
But Ben you need to be in that House.
Seeing the house the same everyday. Plus all the extra 10.000 amonth.
Do you think being a Chef in the kitchen makes you liking your own company.
Ben with Respect Get your Thai Licence. Enjoy the Vlogs
Should be this month we’re in there 😆
Hi Ben. as you know I run a radio station here, so am lucky in as much as I have a reason to get up, at 4.30, daily and got to work. and its a very time consuming business, as I see your farm to be. 16 yrs now here, and when I started it was just me. I didnt have any pals or social life, which actually helped as I become a workaholics. which is a a joke as I came here to slow down. I see you are learning a few phrases in Thai. If I could give you one tip it is to to keep at that. slowly you can start, with hands and signals, talking to thais, and especially those working for you. and slowly you build a network of people. as to Farang. a pal of mine told me when I cam here. meet the foriegner and chat. if he isnt someone you would want to talk to if you met them in a British pub, then move on. a small handful of good pals is worth far more than a large collection of fair weather friends. I have probably 8 people now that I trust. thats more than enough for me. keep yer chin up. Tommy
Kind of feelin ya. There are no other farang anywhere near me I’m aware of. I don’t drink, smoke, don’t even do sugar 🤣 and don’t do bars unless I’m gigging as a musician. So often like at Central Festival I see others but most by far are not interested in engaging. Frankly, a fair amount are pretty miserable people! Met an okay dude today.
But I think many farang are not super social. Many here have families or are lonely loners. 🤷♂️
So I think you’re right, engaging is hard when Thai language is weak, that one’s starting to bug me.
I travel for few weeks /months back to UK/Europe . It helps me deal with the issue plus appreciate more the two countries/cultures. Also deals with rain, food, visa issues
Wherever you are you have times you feel lonely and then a friend or family contact you and you forget what your problems were. My Thai partner moved here 4 years ago, just before coved hit, and my biggest concern was that she felt comfortable and secure here. She joined the Thai local Facebook group and we had some bbq’s with Thai girls with ferang partners she has a few friends now who I get on with their partners some of the guys and girls weren’t ‘our types’ but all good. I have a big family and they all love her and respect her so that makes it easier. She amazes me that she moved to a foreign country didn’t speak much English and had no idea of our culture yet she persisted and tells me she is very happy. The first year was her hardest. We are going to build in Thailand next year and split our time between oz and Thailand.
You seem like a pretty happy guy , you know what you like and want , you seem to like your own company ?
That's more than enough for everybody else , they can please themselves .
You did say you didn't want neighbours that's why you built your dream house where you did .
That is fine as long as you are happy .
Great comments 👍
Food in Bangkok is considered cheap, but food in the provinces is even cheaper. Or Most prices are 10 baht and 20 baht. or 0.3 - 0.6 dollar / prices 😊🫰❤️
I really enjoyed this love the cila black 🎉 moement each to there own I think . I think your right people can have lonely ness . And people can be difficult to get along with even if it’s just a brief moement . It’s good to talk about it . Thank you for sharing this 👍🏻🇬🇧
Hi Ben I've never been to Thailand and would love to visit sometime but i think you have got the life i would love. I live on my own and have the same thoughts on loneliness enjoying my own company but every now and again i make the effort to talk to people and it makes me feel better.
You seem "well suited" for this life in Thailand. Good on you.
Feeling lonely is normal, it takes time to get used to it. Lucky my wife speaks great English and we can have a conversation. We are surrounded by Canadian, German and English people but we chose who we mix with. Some people living here are false. I would not mix with them in the U.K. so why would I mix with them here. It is true the pool of friends you have here is much smaller than in your home country. Great channel you’ll be in your house soon.
Best wishes.
Funny comments about feeling lonely in Thailand. I feel the same at times. I enjoyed the video about your excursion to the mountains of Phetchabun. Next time you come out this way pop in to meet me and my gf. Cup of tea, don't worry not a man date
Managed a year in nakhon sawan . We had a shop but I was very bored . Been back in UK for 9 years or more but we are planning to return soon this time will hopefully be different.
U have a lovely place there and keep yourself busy ...
Luv the you tube videos
Thanks for being truthful. I suppose if I was in my 20’s or 30’s I would be missing my mates and socializing. But now in my “senior years” I am enjoying my solitude doing my “own thing “ ( my excitement is working in my tropical garden and temple hunting). I am also not a fellow that likes the bar scene… or one to sit around my peers and complain about the locals… or hear an expat bragging how his house, investments, or whatever is “perfect”. Finding true buddies is hard anywhere. Fortunately I can always go on Skype and talk to my true friends in my home country.
You’re right William, and I’m very similar 👍
You say the same as I feel , but I’d rather be a bit down here at times than in the uk 🇬🇧 being like a hamster on a wheel going nowhere in life. I’m 59 , healthy and feel happy but at times a bit in limbo questioning myself .. all my in uk have sadly passed away.. we solder on 👊 🙏
I NEVER WANT TO LIVE IN A EXPAT COMMUINITY, WE LIVE IN FARMALAND I FEEL YOU WITH FORIENGERS WE SRRV RETIRED PERNMENT RESIDENTS
I know what you mean, I have the same feeling.
If I'm speaking honestly, a big part of the problem with expats in Thailand and Isaan as well is.....alcohol.
I did a video on this you explained it / put it across so much better than me. I understand it mate. I like being on my own a lot but sometimes you certainly need some interactions. I'm very similar it comes in small doses and goes away very quick
I'm not to far away if you ever feel down or lonely and wanna meet up (I know that wouldn't happen but the offer is there)
Ricky said something similar too mate. I’m up for getting together for lunch one day somewhere in the middle of all of us.
Hi Drew maybe if you're up for it we could all arrange a meet up aswell as wives/girlfriends? I'm in Udon, Ben's near nong Bua Lam Phu and if my memory of your videos serves me correct your not far away in Sakon Nakhon area.
Cheers Ben . Loving the videos as ever and actually wait for them lol. Great topic today and it's 1 that worries me should we move to Thailand ?.??
It’s certainly not enough of an issue to taint my experience here, so definitely move over here yes 👍
I lived in Nong Khai with ex wife 12 years ago, go to those town fairs celebrations, and they have those BBQ street foods, especially the field rats and gophers on a stick BBQ….. ‘ taste like chicken’ …..
I lived near your castle for ten years, back in London with my Thai wife, and will be in Thailand later this year. What's your gmail as I have travelled this path for twenty years. I love your accent "bargain"! I am a retired chartered accountant and treasurer, the good life is the luxury of avoiding UK winter, the cool season in Isan, and high in the bangkok condo which bans dogs. Like you I was bitten by dogs and bugs. I learnt not to complain, criticize or compare. I paid the builders a bonus not to work!
😂😂😂😂 benthailand777@gmail.com
Being in the hospitality business like you were I'm sure your just enjoying not having to deal with people .if your anything like me who had his own Thai food takeaway with the wife in blighty I'm glad to leave it all behind 😊
I can relate, I live in my wife's home country, and although the language barrier is not a big problem, sometimes it makes it harder to get along. But at the same time, when I have my own free time, I do things that make me not feeling lonely at all. On the contrary, it is in more social situations that I wish to "escape". But as you said, you have to find your own way to get the best out of yourself. For a lot of people, I would look lonely, but I do not feel it at all :)
Big difference between being alone and loneliness, I could quite easily lock the front gate and never see anyone again, my wife feels the same, happy with nature and my dogs. As I get older (58) I am getting less sociable, 15yrs ago we bought 56rai of land, its was a 1hr drive to a main road, 2hrs to the city, my wife would have loved to have lived there but it was a bit too remote for me. My attitude now has completely changed and I regret not setting up there, it's so peaceful and we would never see anyone unless we visited them.
😂😂😂😂😂 I love this comment
I get it. But I need some social interaction. Don't really need foreigners, the Thais are friendly. All good!!
You won’t have to worry about being lonely once you get into your house and you can enjoy the creature comforts that’ll make life a living in Thailand a whole lot better than what’s been going on lately you had one year that you had planned to build your house, and then it ended up being three years and still not done Don’t give up the worst is over and you’ll soon be enjoying everything that you want to enjoy.😊
Very different Video Ben. I spend my time between working in Europe and family time in a small village 50kms north of Phayao, Thailand. Been doing this for 20ish years and married for 15ish. I never mix with my wifes farang friends even when in the UK and i think this is the same with us all. The only thing i differ is i love alone time. Having said that im in Thailand for all of Sept if you get bored.
Just be true to yourself and what makes you happy.
Im retiring to Thailand on Wednesday and im having the same thoughts already. Language and cultural differences make it hard to fully fit in with locals....im 65 and will try my best to learn Thai but realistically i know im never going to get to a competent level. I too will be living in rural Thailand with my partner and im happy with my own company but it would be nice to have a few English friends to chat to without going into bars. As you say you cant force friendships and meeting the right people isnt easy. Im coming with an open mind and learning not to over think as many westeners do....were programmed that way 😂... where as Thai people live in the moment . Finding friends with same interests gets harder the older you get....relax and let things happen naturally. If im ever around the area maybe we can find time for a coffee .....im heading up North possibly towards January until then i will be in Nonthaburi. The house is looking good and it looks like you will soon be living there and once you get your creature comforts you will feel better....as you say its taken a long time. Keep up the vlogs i enjoy listening to your rambles. Pete.
I’m excited for you Pete. It’s all good mate 👍👍👍👍
LIFE HAPPENS ENJOY THE EXPERIENCE
Hen Duey.... I have been married to my fabulous Thai wife for 23 years and been to Thailand many times. even being here for a few weeks used to be torture as nobody other than my wife spoke English. When I saw an English looking tourist I would babble away like the village idiot just because I hadn't spoken to anyone for 3 weeks.
Now that I am living here, I don't seem to bother so much, as like you, I enjoy my own company. I have had friends before and they always seem to want something or let you down in the end. We have concluded that we are fine as we are and don't need anyone else.
We meet folks often, randomly, strike up a conversation, enjoy the hour or two then move on without exchanging numbers. Whenever we have changed numbers, the people never get back in touch or if they do, they want something like a Farang boyfriend for their little sister lol.
I am like you, not into bars, or golf or clubs, never go out past sunset and have phases like this where you feel you should have friends. Then it passes and I am happy on my own again. I am older than you and I think a few more "poor friend" experiences will teach you that your gut has been right all along - hence you buying a farm.
friends are over-rated!
😂😂 this is a great comment thanks you 🙏🙏🙏🙏
Ben mate, if you're ever down and wanna catch up for a feed and chat let me know. Meet ya halfway in Khon Kaen City, I reckon Isan Drew would drop everything to come too 👍 I also enjoy the alone time but the isolation definitely hits you some days/weeks.
Defo up for that one day mate yeah 👍👍
Yeah, I know what you mean. I love being on my own. Well, not alone, with my Wife it's fine. But I'm not really interested in becoming friends with other people. It becomes like a chore to meet up to do something 😂
Hi Ben. I've lived in Malaysia/Brunei/South Korea/Thailand for around 20 years now (12 in Thailand), and I can honestly say I've never really missed 'foreigners'. I have had a few western colleagues and friends, but these relationships have been rather superficial. I have always worked with Thais, Koreans, etc. and this has given me enormous satisfaction. It might be different when I retire and move away from Bangkok. Then I will try to seek out a few farang friends whom I can visit and invite to my new home in Phon Pisai. I have a few projects in mind (different forms of gardening, learning computer gaming, continuing my home brew and cooking), which i hope will keep me occupied. As I have said before, I will continue to follow your channel and sincerely hope we will meet one day. I wish you continued good luck. The house is a frustration, but your farm is developing and becoming more established each day. SU SU! (as they say in Thai).
Great comment, thanks michael 👍
G'day Ben, we just like to let you know that, you're not lonely mate, because we're in Melbourne Australia watching your contents and ❤love every single one of them. We are really appreciate your hard work enjoy watching your farmhouse and the progression of what you are doing now with your life in Thailand 🇹🇭. Keep up your hard work mate and thank you so much for doing what you are doing 👍 😀 😊. If we're going to Thailand 🇹🇭 one and we would love to catch up with you mate. We just feel that you're our friend even though we have not met yet. Lol ❤ cheers 🍻 👏 Ben
What a lovely comment ! Yes visit anytime guys 👍👍
❤👍🏼Understand.Just returned after year in UK. Getting rid of family home. Nothing there was mine. I slept on a madrass last month. Seems to me you have got everything with house well thought of. Sorry about comments on bank around house. So excited for you both to be soon moving in. Have a great weekend both of you. 💞💞
Ps just ❤yr down to earth attitude . Yes loneliness isn’t easy, but at least you have Anna.
Wendy you’re totally right about the grass to support the banks - I just sometimes struggle to reply properly to all the comments that’s all 🙏🙏
Understand! 💞
I know what you mean Ben. My first 4 months in Thailand I spent with my wife's Thai family and unlike how my wife was treated by my family and friends in the UK I was treated a little like a dog turd. They just ignored me and walked around me.
I was surrounded by people that had nothing on common and saw me as an oddity.
That's one of the reasons I moved to Pattaya, but the ex-pat bar scene didn't suit me either. Just not my thing.
I get solace from my kids, and hobbies, fishing is one of my favourite pastimes and it's fairly easy to connect with ex-pats who have something in common. At least then you get to speak your native language.
Only last week, as I have a move coming up, I posted an "Any kayak fisherman in the Rayong area that might be willing to show me around" post on Rayong ex-pat groups.
I had about 6 people get back to me within a few days..
I am looking forward to starting to meet with some of them, talking and doing a bit of fishing..Problem solved!
I plan on doing a similar thing with off grid, groups in the local area, it's a great way to get to know people and learn a bit of the local knowledge from people that speak English.
Good luck mate, you're a very easy person to talk to and your views on life should attract the right kind of friends. Anyone that does not tick the right boxes will drift away. ;)
I’m looking forward to seeing your new land Leon
@@LifeinThailand777 for sure Ben. I have been over this weekend. The builders started setting up camp this morning. I think I told you they work for our architect. I just found out they came down all the way from Udon Thani just for our build.
I am hoping that having them camp on site will ensure they will focus on our job 100%. But only time will tell.
I have rented a house locally just to be sure. 🤔😉
I'm still on track to move to Thailand in 3-5 years (Hua Hin). I'm going to be in the same boat, I won't have a Thai girlfriend or wife (though I would love to have one LOL). I'm going to have to break out of my solo mold and find people from the US or English speaking to hang out with. There has to be XPat groups out there to join in. Groups that meet up for different reasons like group traveling for food choices or resorts. Alot of learning curve I'm sure for myself, hell I'll even reach out to you and ask to come see the house. Grin
You’re welcome to visit, just drop me an email when you’re around 👍
Lonliness us not part and parcel of being a foreignor. My parentsemigrated to the US from GErmany and had a zillion friends (American and German). In the US where everybody is from somewhere else or where everyone's parents or grandparents came from somewhere else, and so nationalities are actually hobbies. My parents enrolled us in German kids choirs,, and in German cultural clubs, etc. My dad sang in a chorus in Chicago comprised of German singing bakers, all from southern Germany. 500 of them. My mom had kaffeeklutches with Norwegian and German ladies. She went to WEight watchers with her friend Marge.
The point is, sharing a cultural background is comfortable and you should pursue that. But it is never the only thing. Youo have to find other things to talk about.
Hi Ben, I like my own company. But I do also like to get to know people and hopefully become friends. You have been on some mandates, and not click with anyone as yet, you and these guys have to have something in common and likes, if you dont have that, that would make it a problem, hope this helps.
Man dates with foreign men in Thailand are usually painful. I met with a local 'group' a couple years ago, within minutes I was nearly exchanging blows with one of them who accused me of saying something 'anti Thai' jumping about going on about how he has Thai citizenship etc etc. All his friends turned on me and no one spoke to me for the whole evening. I never went back to the group and have avoided them like the plague ever since.
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 I’ve just laughed out loud at that Jeremy
Intersting to hear your thoughts on this Ben. I will be starting to produce some content on my channel soon. I am moving to Thailand to be with my wife. We have both been bouncing backwards and forwards between Australia and Thailand for the last 12 years. Now I am in a position wher I can move to Thailand perminantly. I arrive on the 29th September. I have been thinking about lonelynes. Like you, I genuinly enjoy my own company too. But I know at times I might feel a little lonely, I figured that RUclips would be an outlet for me and a great hobby to keep myself busy. My days of hanging out in bars are well and truly over. I'm looking forward to spending time with my wife when she isnt working, and when she is working I can spend time on creating videos.
Also I would like say that I realy enjoy your content. You and a few other Thailand RUclipsrs have inspired me to start a channel. Thanks for creating great engaging content.
Thanks so much, and congrats on the upcoming permanent move. I’ll make sure to give you a follow 👍👍👍
@@LifeinThailand777 Please do Mate, every sub counts. My first propper video is still probibly a couple of months away.
Subscribed to your channel. Awaiting your content now 😎
@@RN-fd5tr Thank you so much. 👍🏻
WOW LONELY, REALLY? NOT ME LOVE THE PEOPLE AND KNUCKLEHEAD EXPATS LOL SHOUT OUT FROM GERONA TARLAC PH
Hi Ben. Up here in Samoeng there are a few expats that I’m cordial with, but with 35 chickens and two cats, I find my best friends are animals. I do drive in to Chiang Mai to watch the F1 races, but even then I can’t have a beer because I have to drive back through the mountains to home. Maybe a hamburger or pizza that I can’t get where I live. Chit chat while watching the F1, not really ! Just be who you are, and adopt a lonely rooster. Cheers
I forgot about f1, thanks for the reminder.
@@pensionandapassport tomorrow night, 8 pm thailand time. Watch verstappen make history. 10 in a row maybe
It’s probably almost universal to feel lonely from time to time, in someplace like Isaan, it’s harder to distract yourself from that for a quick fix. Forcing yourself to spend time with people that you would probably never be friends with back in your birth country is not going to fix that, it’s generally just a distraction too.
What you are indirectly doing with the RUclips channel, putting yourself into contact with other people who are more likely to share some of your worldview and priorities will do much more to address the need for relatable human interaction. It may also help others who are in the same situation for that reason. Added benefits - you get to avoid the echo chamber with the presence of trolls, haters, and people who see things a little differently and are vocal about it! Ok, maybe not always a benefit….
Great points 👍👍
I generally try to stay away from farang in Thailand, that's the reason why I moved to Thailand in the first place. Definitely stay away from the whiners, whingers, mongers and scammers. As long as you know why you moved, and not moved for the sake of moving, everything will fall in place eventually.
Great point
I get where you are coming from. I also am totally fine with my own company and keeping myself busy. However it has dawned on me a bit now that since emigrating to Udon Thani in my mid 30s that it is just literally me as the only farang as I don't know anyone else at the moment. I have my wife and daugthers which is great but there's times where you just want another farang to chat with. The language barrier makes it difficult. I see plenty of farang out and about but they're always my dad's age or much older and just blank me 🤣. Thinking of going through the Facebook groups and seeing if there's any local meet ups to meet some people. If yourself Ricky or Drew are ever in Udon Thani it'd be cool to say hello 👍.
100% I’m up for this. I’m only an hour from udon. If you want to send me an email we can sort something out mate 👍
@@LifeinThailand777 I'll send you an email over mate 👍
Hey. I live 45 minutes east of Udon in Nong Bua Lam Phu. If you ever head in this direction, let me know!@@LifeinThailand777
Common hobbies and interests are the best bet I think.........gardening, woodworking, fishing, geopolitics , whatever. I also think learning the language is invaluable..........this coming from someone who learns only one or two new Thai words a week. Lol
Two words are better than none Brian
awesome vid as usual, could you PLEASE 🙏🏼 give me details to ship my belongings to Thailand? that would be so helpful because its seems to be quite difficult to find pros from here :/
I used a company called Anglo Pacific. It was all picked up from a storage unit in Manchester and dropped off at our rented house in northeast Thailand about 90 days later. We paid for a 20ft shipping container. Hope this helps 👍
I think periods of loneliness are a big part of the sacrifice you made to have the type of life you now live and enjoy. I'm sure it's worth it.
GREAT VIDEO I DO NOT MONITIZE MY RUclips, I VIDEO WHEN I WANT, I DONT EDIT STAY STRONG YOU APPEAR TO BE A GREAT GUY.
Thanks so much 🙏
Hi.did you use a shipping container to get all your gear over from uk? What sort of cost is that process & was there any other costs for importing your items? Gaz.
We paid over the odds but it was because it was in the middle of covid restrictions. It was around £4000 door to door (north of Uk to north of thailand). We were caught out with import taxes on silly things because I didn’t research properly - fitness equipment and tools etc. We would have been better off throwing yoga mats and cheap screwdrivers in the bin before we packed them 😂
@@LifeinThailand777 yeah.. I've just sent a 26 kg box with DHL cost £255 but had to pay customs 22000 baht import taxes & what not.. glad was only a one off.. 😂
Been watching since the start and can't help but feel that the builder has been taking the piss out of you guys . Perhaps if you had gone through with the late clause you set up then you would have been in the house 6 months ago . But the main thing is if your happy with how the builds gone that's all that matters . The house looks great all the same
YT as therapy... don't work for me, maybe for aou...
In my opinion, you don't feel lonely. Sometimes you're alone but that not means you're lonely. The difference is immense in my eyes. As you know I'm from Germany, not English native speeking, so sorry if I understood you wrong.
You can and could be the happiest man, even if you are alone. Don't let loneliness take place!
Ben, I have a question for you regarding how you shipped your things from the UK to Thailand. I’m in Japan for the moment, but I am retiring from the Marine Corps next year. My wife and I built a home in Sisaket and will be moving there after my retirement. I have several decent size boxes I need to ship over. Any suggestions?
We looked at the cost of shipping our most cherished items over in a few boxes, but eventually decided to go for a 20ft shipping container. It meant we could bring everything we have. I’m not sure i would do the same again, but at the time there were constant restrictions in the Uk due to covid. Tryin to sell furniture etc would have been a nightmare, so we just brought it all lol. One big tip - check the list of heavily taxed items for import into Thailand. Alcohol is an obvious one, but things like tools and fitness equipment are massively taxed also. We were stung with a large import bill because of stupid things like yoga mats and cheap screwdrivers 😂😂😂😂
@@LifeinThailand777 Ben, thanks for the information. Luckily I’m not very sentimental, and only have documents, clothes, photos, and fishing gear. That said, I’m sure the Thai government will find something to tax. Thanks again, and keep up with the videos, they keep me motivated to retire and get over there!
Been in Thailand over twenty years retired three years use to get bored and pissed off not into the bar scene and only expat living in my area but I'm married to love of my life 35 years To be honest I couldn't have met a better women Got my own property in Northern Thailand ( obviously wife's name) money behind me and pension stopped thinking negative thoughts years ago Worked for everything had my downers especially with Thai builders but accept everything that comes around as Thais seem to if you can't beat them join them Enjoy your life with your family I'm sure you will
Great comment. Thank you. And congrats on 35 years 👍👍👍
Get some more dogs of your own, seen you talk more to your dog friends on vids than humans, they will always be your best mates and you will never be alone
Give me a bit of time to settle my retirement and you won't be lonely anymore 😉