Gastor Almonte - Brooklyn Batman - This Is Not Happening - Uncensored
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- Опубликовано: 17 апр 2017
- Gastor Almonte's cousins freak him out with their Joker mask, so he takes matters into his own hands.
Watch full episodes of This Is Not Happening now: www.cc.com/shows/this-is-not-h...
Follow Gastor Almonte on Twitter: / gastoralmonte 
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Think your family is messed up? Think again. Watch comedians share their most ridiculous family stories on “This Is Not Happening:” ruclips.net/p/PLD7nPL1U-R5pgIBSOJV-fL4uIWR-DZbfI
Comedy Central Stand-Up it’s amusing how much y’all probably spend on the cringey pointless intros on this show. I always skip them lol.
Who cares not funny
Pataganja danny gonzalez
"Y'all crushing this parenting thing btw"...Beautifully adorable story. Props to dad.
"You know your father once stabbed somebody over snapple?" is quite possibly the best start to a bit I've ever heard lmao.
"I was Michael Keaton fighting Michael Keaton" - brilliant
Indeed it is!
😂😂😂😂
"I was Alfred" 😭😭😭
Fire with fire lol
haha dude best comment ever
Mexican got on boots
Lol
Somebody call cici you gonna need knife
Practice the rock and lean
I just wayched that one
😂 I love the internet
He's a master at set ups and pay offs. That's how comedy is done right.
You speak the truth sir.
i know! entirely true!!
👍👍
"This my daughter's room."
"I know, you're welcome."
" that's the kid who thinks he's Batman " " no that kid is Batman "
🤣🤣🤣
"... I ain't solve that last one, but I was entertaining enough for Them to end it amicably" 😂😂😂
Fuckin r.i.p.
👍👍👍👍
The pay off on that story was worth it. Emotional and humorous... invite him back again
Charles Gordon his story for next season is even better
He has a new one called reverse drive by.fillmed bout a week ago
So true
ashien miller I seen him do that in a bit before and it was hilarious, the best was when he was talking about the time he was on a ledge half naked talking to the cops.... guys hilarious
I love his dad! ❤️
"My 2+2 game was crazy."
Had to pause for a couple minutes while I proceeded to lose my shit.
Yeah bro... he four loko
explain
I lost it after he made a callback saying he had 3 + 3 next week
That's amazing. "Just make sure my son never wants to hang out with you". That's love right there.
Him being a kid but talking as a grown man is hilarious 😂😂😂
This guy is a comedian, but above that, he's a fantastic storyteller. Props to this young man.
Those are the best among all comedians!
Great story telling is the highest form of comedy imo. Keeping people's undivided attention is extremely difficult.
“THE RATCHET GASTOR, I KEEP A GUN IN EVERY HOUSE”😂😂😂
These intros need to lose funding
Ted _ FACTS
Yea those shits are trash
Right, I WAS NOT expecting that 😨
For real! Weird as shit. I don't want to watch the clip anymore
Seriously a waste of money and just get in the way of what we came for
Doug Smith, Ali Siddiq, and Gastor Almonte are my favorites so far.
plus I AM THE MACHINE
Do It Fix It
Fuck that bitch this is rUsSIa
@@mkilic10 FUCK THE MACHINE that story is bullshit
u gotta see bombing in sears and cumin
The One Who Laughs agreed. Both much funnier than Bert’s dumb story. I just don’t think that man is funny. Never have, never will.
Went to high school wit Gastor 💯he always been funny
OK...? Sure
@YOU AINT GOT NO PANCAKE MIX cause it's extremely easy to lie on the internet
Hahaha I bet he was the class clown. It's always the bigger guys
Thats really cool!
fun kicks laughter and no education?
“You’re crushing this parenting thing by the way” lmao
"I wasn't even scared of the joker i was scared of Beetlejuice." 😂😂😂
This was actually a very beautiful story with great comedic delivery and joke writing. So glad I decided to click on it!
Why did you have to say actually is it hard to believe a black comedian could tell a beautiful clean story
Phillip Edwards he was probably not interested with the title but you don't have to bring race into it especially because he didn't say anything about his race.
Phillip Edwards he is fucking Hispanic you idiot!!! Stop struggling so hard to pull your overplayed race card out of your pocket loser.
@@roberttidwell7864 you realize you can be more than one race or ethnicity tho right
IMALEO93 yes I totally know and understand that, yet that isn’t the case here. My comment remains valid.
You had me at snapple.
phattony32 FACTS
I second those Facts!!
Allen Ayler you just waisted your time!!! ; )
Lol his dad basically was the big villain behind the scenes after a wild plot twist 😂
The Ratchet? I'm not a rapper. I don't know what that is? - dead
STLGOODS BEWARE. ...I guess I'm not a rapper either😕😅... Have to google it
I learned what a ratchet was from a future song
Got nothing to do with rap it's slang you stupid shit
if you not from the region or in that area where they use the slang you learn it from pop cultural i.e rap music you stupid shit.>,
nassim zway Well, he is just repeating exactlty what the comedian said in his story.... And we all know that the comedian said it to make fun of a stereotype... Which is something that comedians do all the time.
i love it.the way he calls his father his hero. it’s beautiful.
Gastor Almonte is the alias that Batman uses when he goes undercover in the hoods.
"Cuz when the joker laughs that means some crazy shit is about to go down"😂💀
Performed on the same show as Gastor at Comix at Mohegan Sun last year. Funny dude, super humble, and the dude can spit! Talented like a mufucka! Good shit Gastor! #respect
"damn yall crushing this parenting shit! keep it up!"
BEETLEJUICE! Michael Keaton fighting Michael Keaton Hahahahaha! Rate this guy, never heard of him but Imma keep an eye out!
Storytelling skills are on point, perfect timing too. 💯💯💯💯
Gastor, brother we are waiting for a net flix special!!!!
I think his dad is more of "flashpoint series batman"
Justin Whu Thomas wayne
this killed me thank you lmao
We don't talk about his Pops ... no smoke wanted
definitely one of the top 3 stories ever on this show
yeah! Ali Siddiq. I've watched that one like 10 times lol
Not a simple comedian but a amazing comedy writer and story teller. nice one!!
Yep, Joey Diaz's story was pretty cool too!
Sean Patton's Cumin story is my favorite one. Maria Bamford's was really good too. Got me to watch her Netflix show Last Dynamite.
Yes
Who else always fast forwards to 1:00 so you don't spoil the punchline for yourself?
this guy speaks like a poet. :)
"But this is my daughter's room."
"I know. Your welcome."
Very dope story, could connect with this being a younger sibling seeing the "grown folks" doing their thing but keeping me distracted with activities..or having my brothers scare the shit out of me with costumes or teasing. Much respect keep grindin!
I hope my son can talk about me like that one day. Every kid should look at their dad as Batman
Yeah, we all want the same thing
I've never actually heard of this dude before seeing this. I like him. He's real polished with his storytelling. Is he at the half hour special level or have CDs yet?
Great dad. Well minus the gun in the daughters room lol. Sometimes directly telling a kid not to do something only tempts them to want to try it more, and they end up needing to learn for themselves the hard way. That was an incredibly thoughtful way for him to keep his son uninterested in ever wanting anything to do with gangbangers or drug dealers.
Big Shout to East New York, my once upon a time home, Born and raised. Cypress Hills
i’ve watched this video so many times now and it still makes me laugh. he is super funny and an amazing storyteller. by far my favourite one they should invite him again!!
Props Gastor..congrats on making it to Comedy Central!
How have I not heard of this guy? He's tremendous!
Tanpopo okayyy joey
Sorry but the Intro Of "The baby coming."
Has me terrified.😂
2+2 game is crazy!!, ain't nobody seeing me but 3+3 is next week!!!
Excellent comedian. Insulted no particular group, was extremely funny, and told a great story. That is how you do it.
This guy and so many others doing these This Is Not Happening comedic storytelling series are SO GOOD!
I loved this set so much. His delivery and writing is incredible. his adlibs through out the set were perfectly placed.
This might be one of the Greatest STORY EVER TOLD 😂😂😂💯💯👏👏 and the delivery was prolific👏👏👏👏
I loved this stand up from start to finish and after. 😭❤️
That Michael Keaton line was hilarious
THIS DUDE IS HILARIOUS!!!! THE END HAD ME DYING
What a blessing to have a family like that. It’s so many amazing black fathers no one could ever touch their teaching style for their boys to men.
They got a real shitty habit of scarin the shit outta me
This is hands down one of the best ones yet. in my top 3
"I'm not scared of The Joker, I'm scared of Tim Burton movies." Hunny. Hilarious story, gotta show everyone this guy.
Gastor, this holds up as one of the best I've watched. It'd be dope to see you in my town.
I think the best part of this story is that he accidentally became just like Batman. In Batman begins they say he's gotta become what he fears to not be afraid and that's why he's a bat. This dude became Micheal Keaton to get rid of his fear of Micheal Keaton and didn't even know it
This was beautiful. Beautiful and HILARIOUS!
This guy.. for real ... we need more of him EVERYWHERE.
I can't be the only one that sees he is a straight king. Funny af, had a kid and wife young, got a real G dad that did his thing as a dad raising this king , he got property in flourishing Brooklyn and mans up... I see you 👑
You know, I've watched dozens of these but not a single one ever captivated my interest like this fine storyteller.
Yo this guy is talented. Great storyteller.
this is how you tell a story
Dope, he taught his son to be a business owner.
That was the best story put to humor and made real by real life. Standing ovation from Texas.
Yoo lets get more of this dude real shit 😂💯
I had to hang on for a moment leading up to the third part, but it was way worth it. Hilarious.
One of the best stories ever.bring him back!
*pushes glasses up* Actually, sir, Joker does not fear Batman. He craves his attention and - in some ways - loves him.
I have a the punisher as my photo. But what you just wrote, is really nerdy.
I pretend to be a Knight Templar
Danongorf well actually when they first created Batman, joker was definitely scared of him.
If the Joker is afraid of anyone... it's Batman. Although he may be too insane to even properly realise his own fear. *straightens pocket protector*
I love his stories about his dad lol.
I watched this thousand times and im still laughing 😂
I can listen to this man talk all day.. 😍😍😍
He is so likable, wanna hear more from this guy!
This guy needs a full on show, like an animated series about his life or something
I want something easy like this parenting thing 😂😂😂. Amazing storytelling and super funny.
Never would have imagine there was another Real Batman out here. It's a blessing to have good parents ❤️
This man story telling is on another level
Your dad knew the first place youd go in an emergency, your heart. Thats where id safely and securely and super openly with spouse etc put the ratchet in my house if i had a child too. Good dadding
Yup, like when your daughter hits the wall with her toy or during a tantrum and cuts herself. Or finds the gun and accidentally shoots a friend. Great parenting
Ir0n Zulu yeah you always got extra time to go grabbing stuff from the upstairs room under the heater - fast response time. Oh wait, you say these things can be portable? Maybe he should carry it
This man is a genius 💯💯😂😂
This deserves an animation 😂😂😂
Dude is seriously an amazing story teller! 👏🏾👏🏾 Props big man!
Literally the best story I’ve ever heard
Son from my hood here in BK. This is dope.
East New YUK!
This was a beautiful, heartwarming story that also happened to be funny. Wow!
Mitchell was spooked 😂😂😁
Wow he funny as hell🤣😂🤣😂 I like when a comedian is funny without being loud and over the top! Loving this guy!!
This guy is a great story teller. I gotta look up some more of his stuff.
Yeah definitely, looks like he's a new on the comedy scene. You see his White Castle bit?
I did! that and the knickerbocker love story. this dude has a bright future in stand up.
The white castle story is incredible.
"thats the kid that think he batman.. nah he is batman"
I honestly just love his voice... ☺️
Wow you pretty......r u single?
@@antoniom9470 my boy starving 😂
this man did everything right. not many comedians can tell a captivating story that is both humorous and lands emotion especially not for a solid 10 minutes. i hope my guy is making business rn bc he’s showing what standup and comedy is about
"Ya'll crushing this parenting thing, btw." Lolololol
I think alot of people missed the joke "my cousins had a beef with rival drug dealers up the block...I didn't solve that problem but the point is I was entertaining enough to end it amicably" That was brilliant...every bit I've ever seen him do has masterful story telling
Why am i barely finding this comedian right now? His story telling and delivery is insane.
Now this is one of my favorites in the series! Top 3, DEFINITELY!!!! That was so good, I love this guy! I’m looking up his podcast!
This is one of the best stories I've ever seen on this and I've seen alll of them At least top ten.
Brilliant. Three punchlines to the SAME joke!
He is adorable & super cute & frickin funny! 😅😍👏
This skit is original, hits close to home, inspiring, intelligent and at the same time it manages to make a bitch laugh!
This guy is comedy batman and no one's coming for his style of comedy! Its great!