Should A Christian Date A Non-Christian? | Jefferson & Alyssa Bethke

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  • Опубликовано: 25 фев 2014
  • Discover God's better way for sex, dating, marriage, and love in our new book here: amzn.to/2tecrvz
    Here's me and Alyssa explaining why we think it probably isn't the wisest decision to date someone who doesn't love Jesus, if you do.
    Subscribe here: ow.ly/t8bDw
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    Signed & personalized books by Alyssa & me: ow.ly/xgi8U
    My poems on iTunes here: t.co/PHtz59boqf
    Alyssa's new book: www.jeffbethke.com/alyssa
    Alyssa & I had a blast with our two live streams we did earlier this year. We thought we'd change it up a little, and make them shorter videos with better video quality and answer one of your questions for each video! Feel free to leave questions or suggestions on dating, relationships, temptations, etc in the comment section. We hope this particular one is a blessing and leads you to dating more intentionally which can drastically change your relationship. I know it did for me! We love y'all! You can also shoot us questions on our social media below!
    MY INFO
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    Email: jeffersonbethke@gmail.com
    ALYSSA'S INFO
    Alyssa's Book: ow.ly/sR2nV
    Website: www.alyssajoy.me
    Twitter: / alyssajoybethke
    Facebook: www. alyssajoybethke
    Instagram: / alyssajoybethke
    Alyssa's Recommended Reading: ow.ly/hqhnr
    Get my audibook FREE here: www.jeffbethke.com/audible

Комментарии • 3,6 тыс.

  • @riverdrop777
    @riverdrop777 10 лет назад +785

    I was raised in an atheist/agnostic home and was taught that Christians are only brainwashing hypocrites. Then I met the man that is now my husband. He taught me what Christianity is really about. With his love and guidance he opened my heart so that I could let God in. I believe God led me to him so that I could ultimately join Him in heaven. Sometimes people are so broken that they need a person to love them before they can believe that God could possibly love them.

    • @marissag.8607
      @marissag.8607 6 лет назад +32

      Stephanie Iglesias aw that’s beautiful

    • @jessiska2468
      @jessiska2468 6 лет назад +19

      Stephanie Iglesias beautiful story Steph! God bless always

    • @Cschmidtdrummer
      @Cschmidtdrummer 6 лет назад +52

      I know this was 4 years ago but reading this brings tears to my eyes. I'm in a relationship with a girl that is a non believer. I love her so much and want to to have salvation. She asked God into her heart but I feel that was just for me. Your testimony gives me hope that I can truly save my girlfriend and hopefully wife.

    • @tunzlunz
      @tunzlunz 6 лет назад +43

      Chris Alan hey so I just read your comment and thought I could give you some insight. I was in a similar relationship as yours. I loved this guy but he didn’t love the LORD and I stayed with him because he showed “promise”. He tried because he knew how badly I wanted it for him. It was never really true though because it was never for the right reason. We dated for three years and in that relationship I compromised so much of myself because I was dating and non believer. And because he wasn’t a believer he couldn’t encourage me in things of God because he didn’t understand them. In the end that relationship left me damaged and hurt and it’s honestly one of my biggest regrets. Fast forward to now. I’m in a relationship with a man that loves the LORD and I’m almost certain this will be my husband. I have something that I never had in my past relationship and that’s peace. Peace that’s transcends all understanding. My heart was in such turmoil when I was with my ex because deep down the Holy Spirit was telling me I needed to get out of that relationship. Now I’m in an edifying and loving relationship and I’ve never been happier with anyone in my life. This is the man I’ve been waiting for. Stephanie’s story above is wonderful but it’s an exception to the rule. Just like the video said it’s divine providence that the relationship worked out. Usually when you date someone who is unsaved you end up like I did. I hope that put some things in perspective for you. I’ll be praying for you and your girlfriend.

    • @brownjordan0523
      @brownjordan0523 5 лет назад +7

      You found yourself a keeper young lady. I wish you guys the best.

  • @maribelburrows1792
    @maribelburrows1792 10 лет назад +57

    I was not a christian when I met my now husband in highschool and thanks to him being Christian and mentioning church and christ to me I came to know jesus and gave my life to the lord

  • @Shieldwolf27
    @Shieldwolf27 10 лет назад +88

    I agree to an extent. I was drawn to my wife when she was a non-believer. We were dating and she respected my love for God and she wanted to know more about my faith. About five months into our relationship, my grandfather passed away and I hit rock bottom. I struggled because my grandfather was a prayer warrior in his church and really helped me in my walk with The Lord. That's when she started to steer me back in the direction of God. That's also when she decided in her heart the she wanted to know The Lord and accepted Christ in her heart.
    Fast forward and we are now married with a beautiful two month old son who we are raising in a Godly home. So I believe that just because you're dating a non-believer, doesn't mean you're sinning. Sometimes you're what helps lead them to God.

    • @priyankabarigela6310
      @priyankabarigela6310 2 года назад +5

      Thanks. This is what I needed.

    • @gogozeppeli9267
      @gogozeppeli9267 Год назад +1

      God thank you this is what i needed

    • @secretsuperstar9409
      @secretsuperstar9409 Год назад +1

      Can I ask you something about love marriage?

    • @Shieldwolf27
      @Shieldwolf27 Год назад

      @@secretsuperstar9409 I mean, you can ask, but I am no longer married. I was cheated on five years into our marriage which caused our separation.

    • @secretsuperstar9409
      @secretsuperstar9409 Год назад +1

      @@Shieldwolf27 but why you cheated on her

  • @aprilzemail
    @aprilzemail 9 лет назад +142

    I have never commented on a RUclips video but this one I had to comment. I met my husband he was not at all what I had imagined when I imagined a husband. He was not faithful in his other relationships, he didn't NOT believe in God but he was not even on his list of priorities and defiantly didn't entertain the thought of church. My brain told me to run, my heart said DONT MOVE!! Being divided internally I prayed about it and realized something wouldn't let me let go. I had to trust that and hope it was not a mistake but if it didn't turn out to be what it should I obviously needed to learn something. I am gentle with those who don't believe, and my goal is to bare witness gently. There is a reason they fear, horrible past experiences. Long story short my children and myself spending time with him and his children who also were not convinced that God even existed. The change in them over a short period of time and with the extended time all were shocking The lord was all my husband spoke of, when planning our wedding the first thing he said when I said I would love a beach wedding is, NO WAY. I will marry you in a church no where else, I want this to be right with HIM, and it means something to me. I agreed of course touched and shocked at the bold statement. Long story short his daily speech was never lacking mention of God and all that this life has blessed him with he told our children everyday that God made him the richest man in the world to have them and me. We were on top of the world for 8yrs. Then one day our lives drastically changed my husband was involved in a car accident 11months ago and died of his injuries the next day. I have been told more than once, and over and over how grateful the ones who love him are that they KNOW he is in heaven without a doubt. The man he was prior might not have been there. I was fearful that my step children would now become angry with God and change their feelings, shockingly they think like myself and we discuss it often God has a plan and it is most definitely the most painful thing I have had to endure, and I don't know how to function most days. I trust him and I am trying, through my pain through my tears through the ache, and the kids who are mostly all adults now right beside me. I think we are here to make a difference. I don't think that its for everyone to date someone who doesn't believe but I think that you can bare witness which is more powerful than most things actually.

    • @inkonparabl3l
      @inkonparabl3l 5 лет назад +10

      April Butz your story truly touched me. I pray that God continues to bless you and your children. I can’t imagine what that must feel like and I’m 3 years late now but May God’s love cover you.

  • @tayloretoria8619
    @tayloretoria8619 7 лет назад +200

    as someone who has had 2 boyfriends...both non Christian...the answer is NO. the difference in values & traditions will cause a lot of stress!!

    • @dvferyance
      @dvferyance 5 лет назад +20

      I agree you can't have a happy marriage if you don't share the same values.

    • @MegaErnieMAN
      @MegaErnieMAN 5 лет назад +5

      Your logic makes so much sense

    • @ayumintal9398
      @ayumintal9398 4 года назад

      MegaErnieMAN lmao

    • @LordPoppy
      @LordPoppy 4 года назад +20

      My boyfriend is extermly supportive of my relgion even though he's a non-beilver.

    • @rolandnapitupulu
      @rolandnapitupulu 4 года назад +16

      This is God’s command, and it is also wise, because God tells us that the marriage relationship is one that should help us to grow in godliness, not hinder us. In fact, husbands are commanded to love their wives and help to make her holy. (See Ephesians 5:25-33) How can a muslim man do this for his wife if he does not even know Jesus?
      If you are a Christian yourself, I encourage you to think more deeply about your relationship with God. Are you someone who follows Jesus, or do you just call him Lord without doing God’s will in your life? Are you sure that you will have eternal life when you die?

  • @AmberxCamp
    @AmberxCamp 7 лет назад +231

    It took my husband 11 years into our marriage to become a believer. I prayed very hard before we got married, asking God what to do about wanting to marry this man who wanted absolutely NOTHING at all to do with religion. He clearly and I mean clear as day, told me, "Give me a decade one and one, and He will be mine once again." My husband is the most amazing God fearing husband and Father now. This is something for YOU and GOD to discuss....not let a video make the decision for you. Totally love Bethke and his teachings. But my husband is proof that you can lead your spouse to Christ, and that might even be the reason as to why God paired you two together.

    • @emmanuelsebua1445
      @emmanuelsebua1445 5 лет назад +8

      Ultimately God is love, it's His essence and character. God's ways are not known to man. We try to rationalise the plans He has for us...
      If the motives are pure and centered in love, God searches our hearts and knows what we truly desire.
      Finding a partner who doesn't truly make you happy, is also considered "settling".
      We cannot change people's hearts, only God can.
      And ultimate we are all His children and He loves us all.

    • @hockey4life4me
      @hockey4life4me 5 лет назад +3

      Why does he fear God?

    • @KayBee_Prod
      @KayBee_Prod 4 года назад

      Kris she means that fear by disobeying the lord because of how much we love him

    • @DiariesOfMarla
      @DiariesOfMarla 4 года назад +10

      Thank you for this. I got so discouraged by this video but you're right when you say it's between you and God and not a video. Thank you for speaking out, I really needed that .

    • @gutturalbanshee72
      @gutturalbanshee72 4 года назад +2

      I will never fear God. I may love him some day but if I am ever meant to fear him, I will do anything in my power to tear down his kingdom. I will never fear my creator period.

  • @anmcvey311
    @anmcvey311 9 лет назад +193

    I love the part where he says "There are so many Christian boys but not many MEN of God." I couldn't agree more. So many people are disagreeing with this video because he is stating his opinion on dating non-believers. He isn't saying that it is against the Bible or that it is a bad thing to do, he's just simply stating how he feels, which honestly I agree with 100%. When you're head over heels for Jesus, you WANT the person you share your life with to feel the same way. That's how I am and always have been. Not that I try to shut out potential boyfriends/husbands based on their religion, but Christianity to me is such an important aspect. I don't think he is saying to avoid the situation, because so much good can come from it too. Growing together, possibly helping them get into the Bible and God. But personally, it's easier to have a Christ-centered relationship when both of you believe in Him and that's what I think Jefferson is trying to say in this video. He also isn't saying that it CANNOT work. I know a lot of non-believers that are still amazing people and have "forever" kind of qualities when it comes to marriage. Some people can see past religion and not worry about whether or not their partner believes. I think it's just for him personally, and other people, including me, it's hard to see past. You want your partner on earth to share life with you in heaven. And you want to raise your kids under God's word. That's how I interpreted the video. Loved it!

    • @felixlagemann8109
      @felixlagemann8109 6 лет назад +4

      The main reason this condescending slur "there are so many christian boys but not many men of god" is nonsense, is because most "boys" don't make the choice to be christian and are rather born into christian families where religion is more or less forced on them. So they might have no real affinity with it, but you are still stamped as christian because you got baptised and did confirmation. That doesn't disqualify them from being a real man. But you're right, in case you are head over heels for Jesus, you probably should marry someone that feels the same way.

    • @janelleallen1081
      @janelleallen1081 5 лет назад +1

      Right on

    • @THE-WAY_THE-TRUTH_THE-LIFE.
      @THE-WAY_THE-TRUTH_THE-LIFE. Год назад

      How can you call yourself a Christian MAN though when you're not man enough to follow God's law?

  • @adl1578
    @adl1578 9 лет назад +94

    Watching this video, I at first was a little mad. But then I realized that as an Atheist, I wouldn't really want to date/marry a religious person. It is a very important thing to agree or disagree about.

    • @TheChangeYT
      @TheChangeYT 9 лет назад

      Erin L I think you're right, BUT no one should say you shouldn't date with none cristians. Because there are also people who are dating the opposite site of religion, and they're totally happy with that. It personally think no one should limit or isolate themselves to sth good because of jesus or religion

    • @TheChangeYT
      @TheChangeYT 9 лет назад

      Ukekon Also do I disagree on the role behaviour of Alyssa.

    • @adl1578
      @adl1578 9 лет назад +1

      Ukekon You're right. We definitely should not not give people a chance just because of their religious beliefs.

    • @AnotherEpicName
      @AnotherEpicName 9 лет назад

      Erin L I'm an atheist and dating a christian girl..
      We understand eachother and just respect eachother
      this vid just pissed us both off

    • @TheChangeYT
      @TheChangeYT 9 лет назад

      m2

  • @JeffersonBethkepage
    @JeffersonBethkepage  10 лет назад +156

    NEW VIDEO! Should a Christian date a Non-Christian?

    • @cames9301
      @cames9301 10 лет назад +8

      1 Corinthians 7:15

    • @jacquegriffin9540
      @jacquegriffin9540 10 лет назад +3

      Love this video! Quick question, I noticed you have a tattoo on your wrist. What does it say? :)

    • @dakotastirneman3730
      @dakotastirneman3730 10 лет назад +4

      Jacque Griffin If you watch his video that says "Are Tattoos Sinful" he explains it. I think they're on both wrists. One says "Forgiven" and the other says "Loved" in the original Greek translation.

    • @LaurenSWatersInersession4Life
      @LaurenSWatersInersession4Life 10 лет назад +4

      What do you do if you have done married one?

    • @cames9301
      @cames9301 10 лет назад +8

      My husband and I are a mixed faith couple. Can you allow him to have his faith? Each person finds their own path to God and you should concentrate on your's while encouraging but not pushing his.

  • @brigadierharsh1948
    @brigadierharsh1948 10 лет назад +74

    His hairline keeps distracting me, how on earth is it so straight like that?

    • @KyleAlexanderkneeGrowPlz
      @KyleAlexanderkneeGrowPlz 10 лет назад +24

      it's called going to a barber.....lol

    • @quantezwatts436
      @quantezwatts436 4 года назад +2

      It's awkward and bulky

    • @lavettalocaa4727
      @lavettalocaa4727 3 года назад

      His hair is super thick so he has it buzzed but having no length on top it would be uneven lookin to keep the hairline untouched

    • @jayfreeman5117
      @jayfreeman5117 3 года назад

      My barber gave him the hook ups.

    • @Pinkie4
      @Pinkie4 3 года назад

      @@KyleAlexanderkneeGrowPlz 🤣🤣

  • @EdGloss
    @EdGloss 10 лет назад +286

    I'm an outspoken atheist. My wife of nearly two decades is a believer. We have an awesome relationship. In fact, I'll put our relationship up against the relationship of any believer. We have children who are being raised to be either believers or unbelievers, whatever they choose. My wife is a believer and good for her. We discuss it quite often and actually have a great time with it. I don't think less of her because she believes and she doesn't think less of me because I don't. 

    • @Ashiraskye
      @Ashiraskye 10 лет назад +40

      I salute you being open minded ^_^

    • @forgettem
      @forgettem 10 лет назад +33

      Encouraging an open mind to people's differences.... this is what really makes a relationship work. Ed hit the nail on the head. And for anyone to close off their heart before truly knowing that person.... you might be missing out on the greatest love of your life. Stand by your beliefs, but please respect other people's ideas as much as you wish for them to respect yours.

    • @mjawilson1779
      @mjawilson1779 10 лет назад +20

      Awesomely said! I am a believer and my husband is Buddhist, not only do we accept each others believes, but we also attend events together at my church and I go to the temple with him. I understand why people stress it is better to date a believer if you are because yes I agree having someone to share the same values as you is important. However, my husband and I share many of the same believes/values. In fact, we have a lot in common with what we think and believe and I find that I listen to more sermons online now, then I ever did before meeting him and I have become closer to God since my husband, not further away. I truly am blessed! AMEN

    • @EdGloss
      @EdGloss 10 лет назад +45

      Anthony Trivisano I saw the movie. It's a ridiculous strawman of atheists. It was laughable. If one wants to know what an atheist believes, ask one. Don't watch a movie about atheists written by a Christian.

    • @ThePedrodude
      @ThePedrodude 10 лет назад

      Ed Gloss So Ed, what do you believe? :)

  • @thevigilantlamb8522
    @thevigilantlamb8522 7 лет назад +157

    The girl has natural anime voice LOL

  • @alyssssssaaaaa
    @alyssssssaaaaa 10 лет назад +24

    Amen. I'm 18 years old and I've never had a boyfriend because I won't settle for a guy who just calls himself a Christian. Thanks for making this video.

    • @entrenchpodhost
      @entrenchpodhost 10 лет назад +2

      Same here, I'm waiting for the one God sends me! (= p.s. is that Cameron I see? (=

    • @stelareally5311
      @stelareally5311 3 года назад

      Did you end up getting a boyfriend?

    • @patricksanders2219
      @patricksanders2219 Год назад

      Then date a man of god

  • @DenitsaHristova
    @DenitsaHristova 10 лет назад +68

    My mom is a Christian and my dad is an Atheist. They've been happily married for more than 20 years. I think it's possible to be (not only date) with someone who is Non-Christian as long as both people are kind to each other and very open-minded.

    • @Julio2Tube
      @Julio2Tube 10 лет назад +22

      I do not think you are understanding what a Christian is. Did your mom seek God? Has your mom ever been involved in anything that has to do with Jesus? Well if not she is not a Christian because she is not a "Christ Follower". Instead she is part of the population that says they are but don't care enough to seek God. It is not a good idea for a Christian to date or marry an Atheist, not because the Atheist is good or bad, but rather because she will not have a husband or a relationship that is centered on Christ. She most likely has not gotten closer to God and therefore is not a Christ follower or a Christian.

    • @xTheUnknownTruthx
      @xTheUnknownTruthx 10 лет назад +24

      Julio Suarez You are really going to go about telling someone that their mom isn't a Christian, pretending that you somehow how have the authority to judge someone's heart and decide whether they are going to hell or not? Really? That's not Pharisaical or anything....

    • @Julio2Tube
      @Julio2Tube 10 лет назад +5

      I think you should look a little closer, I asked questions in the beginning of my statement. and said... "WELL IF NOT" meaning IF NOT.. meaning if the answers to my question are "no" then my statements are correct... not judging but correct.

    • @ThePaperPatch
      @ThePaperPatch 10 лет назад +7

      Julio Suarez It's still not your place to state those things.

    • @TheRichAntArt
      @TheRichAntArt 10 лет назад +15

      He is actually right.

  • @MatheusAlves-zs3hj
    @MatheusAlves-zs3hj 8 лет назад +41

    My mother started dating my father while he was a non-believer, she would cry out everyday that my Dad would have and encounter with Jesus and she NEVER stopped going to church, praying, reading the bible, didn't drank, until one day, while she was praying, my father felt a burning in his heart and had his first encounter with God, since then he is a HUGE man of God, honestly, its more about you then it is about the other person, the common sense is to avoid it, but thats not a norm.I'm dating a girl who loves Jesus, but if I thought in my heart that dating a girl that doesn't know Jesus yet is the right thing, if I felt peace in my heart I would do it.

  • @Remyangel26
    @Remyangel26 7 лет назад +75

    What if person decide to want to learn about Jesus when meeting you ?

    • @ashleyr3333
      @ashleyr3333 5 лет назад +15

      get in prayer dear ask Jesus for confirmations because we need to be led by God first always

    • @calabis
      @calabis 4 года назад +3

      Not in my case, I was destroyed and was interested in that part of her life. I always have believed in GOD, just not to the extent u are suppose to, but I was willing, I just feared failing him

    • @suzttehayles6634
      @suzttehayles6634 3 года назад +3

      Ask someone who you know who loves the LORD, to talk to that person, stay clear and allow GOD'S will to be done. Surrender your will to GOD. Seek to have a godly motive when deeling with the person. The fact that you stay clear is evidence and a witness the person, that you trust GOD and HIS Word.

    • @ANIVIABLUE
      @ANIVIABLUE 3 года назад

      I'm in that situation now hence why I'm on this video lol (I'm a non Christian) but I respect his views and I'm trying learning about God for him and myself too.

  • @bupbeinc
    @bupbeinc 7 лет назад +259

    But guys like that are so rare....

    • @J.C.90
      @J.C.90 7 лет назад +22

      Really....??? 🤔😉

    • @christinadavis3612
      @christinadavis3612 7 лет назад +5

      Ikr!

    • @ramonawhitaker4503
      @ramonawhitaker4503 7 лет назад +6

      BUPBE INC like unicorns😊

    • @femmeeluetv4930
      @femmeeluetv4930 7 лет назад +25

      trust in the will of the lord for it is said "i know the plan i have for you ,plans to give you a hope and a future. just like when it seened that sara could not become pregnant,sge had abaham sleep with another women but the lord had a plan. so just like then the lord has a plan for you all you got to do is be patient

    • @thepsalms2806
      @thepsalms2806 7 лет назад +21

      Is your name Eve, cause your the only girl in my world😉

  • @KellyAddyimperfectlyperfectka
    @KellyAddyimperfectlyperfectka 9 лет назад +12

    This makes no sense, that's like saying you can't be friends with an atheist.
    I've been with my boyfriend for going on two years now and we've been best friends for 8 years. I've never shoved my beliefs down his throat but he came to me the other day with his heart in his hands and many questions about god. How can you turn something like that away?
    Everyone has potential.

    • @eviesingssongs
      @eviesingssongs 9 лет назад +1

      I agree with you. My boyfriend is muslim and we hav only been dating a few months but I've been talking to him abt Jesus and I'm hopeful one day he will come around. We are supposed to be the light of the world and help everyone see Jesus

    • @seanarmstrong1156
      @seanarmstrong1156 9 лет назад +5

      eve m no offense, but your relationship doesn't sound very healthy based on what i'm hearing so far. Are you saying your relationship hinges on the future prospect of your Muslim boyfriend converting to Christianity??
      What if he doesn't? What if you married him and after 30 years you realize he is never going to convert?
      What if he becomes an atheist?
      What if he doesn't want to go to your church and refuses to participate in your church's activities?
      How will you raise your kids? Which religion do you teach your kids? What Sunday school will your kids attend - Islam or Christianity?
      How do the parents feel? Are they ok with you dating a Muslim? What about his parents - are they ok with their Muslim son dating a Christian?
      What if he expects YOU to convert to Islam? Does he hold that expectation? Does his family hold that expectation? Does his family expect his kids to be raised as Muslims?
      These are questions you should talk to your boyfriend about. Have a SERIOUS conversation and actually write down what you guys said, and go back to it ever 6 month or so and make sure you guys are still on the same page.
      Best of luck!

    • @PresidentCamacho2024
      @PresidentCamacho2024 8 лет назад

      +Imperfectly Perfect (Kelly Addy) the devil is using him to seduce you!

    • @MrThinStax
      @MrThinStax 8 лет назад +1

      +Sean Armstrong love is not based on religion, it is based on the person. My buddy is an atheist and married a Christian woman over 20 years ago. Religion isn't needed as basis for a relationship. Trying to make them conform makes problems.

  • @giovannichambers2841
    @giovannichambers2841 4 года назад +16

    My ex of 10 months broke up with me 3 days ago via text because me being an agnostic was a major disappointment for her (I shared with her about me being an agnostic a year ago). Because she has a strong faith life, she wants a partner that does too. I've never talked badly about her beliefs, and we've shared values that were correlated to each other. I thought we understood each other well when we were sharing our faith in God, and how open minded I was about learning about his existence. We believed in the same things, had a lot of common interests, had a lot of deep conversations we enjoyed having, and had fun times together. We never fought nor argued about anything in our relationship. I'm currently staying on no contact, so she can have enough time and space to rethink about this unfair decision she made. I know she's a wonderful, sweet person from the inside and someone I see myself being with long term, but it's a shame she let religion destroy our relationship just because I'm labeled as agnostic. Didn't think it would be an issue till now. I think the Covid 19 Lockdown is what took a toll on her mental health, but I just hope she'll come back around to have an open communication with me about this.

    • @shafuimcoming5151
      @shafuimcoming5151 3 года назад

      oh!poor agnostic.

    • @beautywbri7540
      @beautywbri7540 3 года назад +3

      Don’t chase it. She won’t respect ur beliefs. There isn’t anything wrong w your beliefs she just isn’t tolerant of other people. Not ur fault

    • @reverie8223
      @reverie8223 3 года назад +3

      Your values just didn’t line up. She shouldn’t have ever agreed to be in a relationship with you if she could never fully handle your opposing beliefs in the first place...

  • @williamm.4915
    @williamm.4915 8 лет назад +62

    Christians: Date whomever you want; but, if your religious beliefs are vitally important to you be sure to talk about it and be clear on what your expectations are. Some Atheist-Christian Couples are successful, others are not. The *KEY* focus should be communication.

    • @breaisalive3424
      @breaisalive3424 5 лет назад +15

      William M. Christians ignore this comment and read your bible, we should not be unequally yoked with unbelievers!

    • @deathswurd6403
      @deathswurd6403 4 года назад +4

      @@breaisalive3424 my girlfriend is a Christian I don't believe in God she knows that I don't because I told her I fully respect her and her belief and we don't have any problems and god him self in the bible even says every one is equal so yeah and I'm not even religious but I have went to church with my girlfriend but I don't believe in God though I shall support my girlfriend

    • @solaceboy
      @solaceboy 4 года назад +2

      @@LiamLifts. You just proved William M.'s point. Your words are an example of what happens when a Christian dates an non-Believer. You don't care and just want things your way and failure in the relationship is inevitable.

    • @asterross
      @asterross 3 года назад +5

      I've been in a relationship where I don't believe in God, but my then boyfriend does. We worked because we communicated our boundaries, respected our differences, and loved each other regardless.

    • @Godovereverything8
      @Godovereverything8 3 года назад

      Your ideology is a WORLDLY one by MAN... NOT from God.

  • @chrisbessey358
    @chrisbessey358 10 лет назад +110

    Guys.
    Wait. On. God.
    Waiting 50 years for a spouse who loves God with all their heart is better than having a lukewarm spouse now.
    God's timing is perfect. You rushing headlong into a relationship without God being the center is evidence of your impatience with God's sovereignty and power.
    Go to God. Lay your heart out before Him. The Lord is good, and if a godly spouse is the best thing for you, He will bring one into your life. Wait on Him.
    "do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
    Phil 4:6-7
    I'm fighting alongside all the rest of you singles! Let's live our lives for God!

    • @rileygreen148
      @rileygreen148 10 лет назад +3

      Couldn't agree more! I just broke up recently and my parents told me to read Philippians. It's a really good book to read!!

    • @unissasi
      @unissasi 7 лет назад

      .

    • @elainejoycef
      @elainejoycef 5 лет назад

      Amen!

    • @suzttehayles6634
      @suzttehayles6634 3 года назад

      I respect you my Brother you are right.

  • @JaeTracie
    @JaeTracie 10 лет назад +201

    Scripture does talk about this, 2 Corin 6:14 - "Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers..." That means do not get "hooked up" with someone who doesn't believe what you believe and WALK the walk you do. We can be friends and hang out, we are to love EVERYONE, but not to get into UNIONS with just anyone. Can cause A LOT of problems! I agree with everything you said in this vid! :) Blessings! * Jae *

    • @jessicastfleur5748
      @jessicastfleur5748 10 лет назад +4

      Thank you! I stopped watching after the first few seconds because I knew at that point anything they was was not biblically based

    • @TerrellHarris
      @TerrellHarris 10 лет назад +22

      Sorry Jae Tracie, you are taking 2 Cor 6:14 out of context... that scripture has nothing to do with marital relationships.... please read 1 Cor 7: 12 To the rest I say-I and not the Lord-that if any believer has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her. 13 And if any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him. 14 For the unbelieving husband is made holy through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy through her husband. Otherwise, your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. 15 But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so; in such a case the brother or sister is not bound. It is to peace that God has called you. 16 Wife, for all you know, you might save your husband. Husband, for all you know, you might save your wife.
      The Holy Bible: New Revised Standard Version. (1989). (1 Co 7:12-16). Nashville: Thomas Nelson Publishers.

    • @TerrellHarris
      @TerrellHarris 10 лет назад +3

      Please google/read up on Rudy Rasmus pastor of St John's in downtown Houston.... If his wife believed in this unequally yoked thing the city would be without him... It's not as cut and dry as ***** points out.

    • @fizman22
      @fizman22 10 лет назад

      Terrell Harris Goes to show how annoying Bible interpretation is...
      No one can be certain what they mean.

    • @113renesmee
      @113renesmee 7 лет назад +4

      Terrell Harris
      Hey this is what I see in the Bible is that 1 Cor 7:12 is speaking on behalf of a couple who is already married. And also it clearly says it's Paul speaking since he wrote the letter to the Corinthian church. And not God.

  • @KatieBadger1
    @KatieBadger1 8 лет назад +3

    This is exactly what I needed today. Thank you for your ministry, Jefferson and Alyssa!

  • @fiona9747
    @fiona9747 7 лет назад +57

    I'm crying!!!! this is exactly what i needed to hear right now. i love you guys you always explain things sooooo well. Alyssa, when you said "it might be you're just settling" i burst, that's exactly what I'm doing and as much as it hurts it's exactly what i needed to hear. thank you, wish I could give you a hug xxx

    • @Taylor-io6eu
      @Taylor-io6eu 6 лет назад

      Fiona Lord Photographer I’m crying too!

    • @NancyKinyanjui.
      @NancyKinyanjui. 6 лет назад

      Me too. Settling so we are not alone even when someone can point out that they don't need to hear about my 'Jesus stuff'. Sometimes something is so obvious but we still insist on it. But God is so patient with us. He knows how to get through to us by His Wisdom.

  • @AgentMose
    @AgentMose 10 лет назад +62

    I agree partially, however God places people in your life for a reason. I disagree with not talking to a non believer about becoming a believer. My wife and I, I strongly believe we're brought together by God. When we started dating in college she did not believe, she did not have faith in God or believe in his works, but with me sharing my faith and what God has done for me, that started to bring about a change I'm her life. She gave her life to Christ and we are happily married. We are born in sin and shaped in iniquity, she wasn't a bad person, she wasn't on the fast track to hell so to speak, but had things to work on like we all do. She just didn't have the Christian upbringing that I had that would give her that faith in The Lord and the thirst to strengthen her relationship with him. I believe God place her in my life to help draw her to him, and as a Husband and a Man of God, it is very rewarding to know that I was able to assist him in adding a soul to the kingdom. So although your advice is good in some way, please be careful at how your message is brought forth, you could be hindering Gods will for two people that has already been predestined. Your shirt states "He > I" please don't forget that.

    • @vincentolvera2499
      @vincentolvera2499 4 года назад +7

      AgentMose amen brotha, I’m currently going through this right now with my girlfriend, but I will not give up on her I have faith that she will find god and that my love may be a stepping stone towards that

    • @binonkhilak6174
      @binonkhilak6174 4 года назад

      @@vincentolvera2499 hi dear..guess we are in same situation..m also in dilemma..stressed out,confused wat to do..how do you take your relationship with a non believer?m in a relationship with a non believer for 10 yrs now😓😓and i love him so much

    • @gabrielafenton3538
      @gabrielafenton3538 3 года назад

      On the same boat but my parents don’t accept him and would never give us their blessing in the future. I pray everyday and have full trust in God with this.

  • @xAphenx
    @xAphenx 10 лет назад +13

    Every time Alyssa begins speaking it catches me off guard.. Coming from Jeff's deep voice to hers is so crazy haha

  • @rebeccamerrill5124
    @rebeccamerrill5124 9 лет назад

    Absolutely loved this! I've been struggling with the issue for a while, and you guys really put it in perspective for me. Really needed to hear this, thank you guys so much!

  • @kisamugiwara2469
    @kisamugiwara2469 9 лет назад +38

    A woman's heart should be so deep in God that a man has to seek him just to get to her -max lucado

  • @jennacarmela5991
    @jennacarmela5991 10 лет назад +156

    I dealt with this once before, and it made me realize that i had been so selfish. To want a relationship with another person that i pushed Christ aside, and ultimately hurt the other person in the process when I had to tell him i could not see him anymore because he was not following the Lord and was not supportive of me in following the Lord. However, I hold onto God's promises because I know they are good and true!!
    Can't wait for your book Alyssa!

    • @JeffersonBethkepage
      @JeffersonBethkepage  10 лет назад +16

      ***** wow Jenna! Thanks for sharing! God is good. Nothing like His grace.

    • @wamblipadilla1513
      @wamblipadilla1513 8 лет назад +7

      +Jefferson Bethke From an intelligent human being perspective its both funny and sad to see an indoctrinated person. Its like seeing a drunk 3 year old baby walking and falling then vomiting then falling with his vomit.

    • @morganmcmanus2738
      @morganmcmanus2738 8 лет назад +4

      +Wambli Padilla I find it sad that you can be so mean. 'The indoctrinated' as you call them are people too.

    • @MysticBazooka
      @MysticBazooka 8 лет назад +2

      +Morgan McManus stupid "people", but yes I guess they can be qualified as people too. Unfortunately.

    • @yeziagabi7964
      @yeziagabi7964 8 лет назад

      That's amazing i love your faith, don't loose hope in this promises there are real Christians out there don't settle for the less.

  • @BethCoppard15
    @BethCoppard15 10 лет назад +16

    I find this the same with my non christian friends as well, I feel apart from them and like I'm drifting away when I am closer to god. Could you do a video on this?

  • @latuaho3423
    @latuaho3423 10 лет назад

    A friend just gave me the "Spoken for book" ! I am on the "You are of great value" chapter. I just want to say thank you so much for writing it. I absolutely love it. I truly believe now that I didn't get this book by accident. I cried when reading you (Alyssa) and Robin's testimony because I saw myself a lot in them. I recently ended a relationship with a guy and this book truly is ministering to me in this season of my life right now! God bless you Alyssa & Jeff

  • @HappyKidWorld
    @HappyKidWorld 9 лет назад +45

    I am not a christian, but I do not hate christianity or jesus (if he does exist) but 1 thing for sure is love who you want to love, don't let a book destroy your life, love who you think is right for u

    • @mishellyyyy
      @mishellyyyy 9 лет назад +4

      Just because you think someone is right for you doesn't meant they actually are.

    • @HappyKidWorld
      @HappyKidWorld 9 лет назад

      omfg -_- that's pretty much the whole fucking point of finding a mate and thinking someone you love!
      first of all you're not gonan find someone perfect if you just hangout for 1 - 2 days
      and if you hangout for 1 year and think that they are perfect and you want to live with them and marry them, then they are perfect with you!
      if YOU think someone is right for you, then they mostly are because it's YOU who needs the person and wants her/him, if she/him wasn't perfect then you wouldn't think she's perfect, many people like different types of people, no one will go for the same one

    • @mishellyyyy
      @mishellyyyy 9 лет назад +3

      No I'm pretty sure the point that I was trying to make flew RIGHT over your head. If a woman loves a man who abuses her does that mean he's right for her? Rihanna loved Chris Brown but he obviously wasn't right for her as I'm sure you know why. I never said anything about finding someone perfect, the whole point of finding a mate is loving an imperfect person who is capable of loving you the way you need to be loved.

    • @HappyKidWorld
      @HappyKidWorld 9 лет назад +3

      Michelle A
      what the fuck?!?! so you're saying if I marry someone and fuckign abuse her, it's 'okay' because she was looking for an imperfect mate! no the fucking point of it years ago was to produce offsprings and reproduce the population, and by that you would need a mate that would not abuse the children, wont get fucking drunk, and be a good model for their kids, not beat the fuck out of your wife.
      also another thing, I was talking about atheist/muslim/hindu/buddhist people can marry Christian, you are talking about people beating up wives is okay

    • @siennareb1124
      @siennareb1124 9 лет назад +3

      The Bible is a tool for understanding God's word. Think about the people who are unable to read. God reaches out to everyone in different kinds of ways.
      If you think Christianity is just an annoying 'book' that gets in the way of our 'oh so important love lives', then you have no idea what a relationship with God is, or what it means to people.

  • @Jkila25
    @Jkila25 10 лет назад +13

    Love Alyssas' voice. Not in a creepy way lol. I would just like hate to ever argue with her because she speaks so gentle lol. May God continue to bless you two! Your going to be great parents!

  • @Omoiyari23
    @Omoiyari23 10 лет назад +22

    WTF im sorry but fuck that, love who you truly love, you will see how sacred and profound love really is

    • @neophenxgaming
      @neophenxgaming 10 лет назад +39

      The problem with your reasoning is that you aren't using the same definition of love as is being discussed here. Your kind of love is one that just happens, that fills fairy tales. True love is work and dedication. You don't always feel loving, but the act of loving someone is just that: an act, and one that must be carried out despite your feelings.

    • @neophenxgaming
      @neophenxgaming 10 лет назад +5

      ***** News flash: Jesus wasn't a moderate fellow.

    • @Omoiyari23
      @Omoiyari23 10 лет назад +4

      Neophenx ahaha thats true love in you're perspective. In my opinion, remember its an opinion, everyone is entitled to choose their path; to enlightenment, God, spirituality etc. that should not effect if you love them or not. Its quiet close minded to think christians should only date other christians. There is not only one way toward the light my friend...

    • @nickolaiphoenix9347
      @nickolaiphoenix9347 2 года назад

      Worse advice ever lol

    • @poetryforthesoul5558
      @poetryforthesoul5558 Год назад

      @@neophenxgaming Your right. Jesus was a liberal back in the day. He was the definition of counter-cultural even to the religious leaders. He loved people. He loved spending time with people who didn't believe in him.

  • @jenellelynn4551
    @jenellelynn4551 9 лет назад +14

    I personally think it has less to do with religion and more to do with spirituality and a relationship with God. I don't identify as a Christian, or any religion, but I do believe in God and Jesus. I know this sounds very strange, but it's true. Every Church I have gone to, I just didn't feel much sincerity, and I wasn't feeling His presence in their sermons. And I haven't been able to identify with any sort of denomination of Christianity. My personal philosophy about God and Jesus is different than any organized religion I've experienced. But I fully believe and have a relationship with God. I don't identify as Christian, but a Christian and I could have many of the same beliefs and morals.

    • @isabelmarquez8804
      @isabelmarquez8804 5 лет назад +1

      I call myself a Non-denominational Christian, i have a relationship with God and I believe in him 100% I go to a church that is not based on religion but is based on a loving relationship with God and truly worshipping him and it is a beautiful thing

    • @marc-dl5mv
      @marc-dl5mv 5 лет назад

      Amen!!!

    • @reyesalejandra85
      @reyesalejandra85 4 года назад

      Go to church

  • @pc-nq6ws
    @pc-nq6ws 9 лет назад

    Loved Alyssa's part! It really connected with a lot of the recent recurring patterns in my life.

  • @awolfe14
    @awolfe14 10 лет назад +5

    I am sorry but my wife wasn't a Christian when we married but she converted through it. Sorry but you are way off point here!

  • @vassao29
    @vassao29 10 лет назад +4

    God bless u Jeff! i watch ur videos here in brazil! Edifying

  • @whoelesome6553
    @whoelesome6553 7 лет назад +2

    I actually just got out of a relationship that was with a non-believer. The reason I dated him was because I fell in love with his personality and who he was and I thought I could overlook the fact that we just weren't working because he didn't believe and I was caught between him and Jesus. But praise God. You two are so amazing for sharing God's love and spreading knowledge and peace. Thank you 😊

  • @MeghanRidgell
    @MeghanRidgell 3 года назад +1

    Thank you so much for doing this video!! I love this. Always makes me so happy to watch these types of videos. I cannot wait to talk more about it on my channel as well. Keep up the hard and amazing work!! :)

  • @nestfeathers88
    @nestfeathers88 10 лет назад +16

    I think it all depends on where you are in your own faith journey, though. Jesus loved us before we gave him our hearts, and we are called to live by his example. I feel that it is okay to have faith in God working in someone's heart, and loving them as they struggle with things we all struggled with as we chose to truly follow Christ. I have seen some amazing believer/nonbeliever relationships in which it was clear God's hand was present, and the transformations I have witnessed have been amazing. I am not saying that it is always an equation that will work out to produce two believers, and I think that most often if someone TRIES to make that happen, it will fail. The most important things are trust in the Lord and prayer. Praying that if this relationship is drawing you away from Christ, for the Lord to give you strength to step away. But also trusting. Trusting the Lord that if you feel His hand in this, to let Him do the work and not to try to change anyone with our own efforts. Continue to love Jesus, put Jesus first, and let God work in other hearts, and keep praying for guidance. Sometimes God works in mysterious ways. To 'limit' Him is sin. It is not impossible for an unlikely relationship to bring people closer to Christ; if you feel God's hand in a relationship, trust. Pray, and trust. Just remember to be honest with yourself and don't force a relationship just because you may WANT God to work through you.

    • @michaelajohnson8559
      @michaelajohnson8559 4 года назад +1

      Life with Lana this was so amazing , thank you !!! ❤️

  • @lalumierehuguenote
    @lalumierehuguenote 9 лет назад +53

    Don't date a non-Christian. It will make everything complicated if you want to have a real relationship with Jesus.

    • @namankumar9478
      @namankumar9478 5 лет назад

      Jesus was just a naive man

    • @e.n.6079
      @e.n.6079 5 лет назад +2

      @@namankumar9478 JESUS CHRIST ❤️❤️❤️IS LORD FOREVER AND IN ALL ETERNITY!!! GOD bless you richly! :-) Have a nice day!

  • @zachaviabayone4470
    @zachaviabayone4470 8 лет назад

    You guys are so awesome! I stumbled across this and am glad to see there are people bringing forth the truth according to the word!

  • @LeeChanel05
    @LeeChanel05 6 лет назад

    WOW THIS VIDEO IS JUST SOO BEAUTIFUL😩... I love how you guys explained everything 🙏🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿

  • @josuehdz0
    @josuehdz0 10 лет назад +14

    What do you believe if a guy is pursuing a non believer? The whole video was kinda addressing if a girl was interested in a non believing guy. Do you think its the same vice versa?

    • @WillSimmons15
      @WillSimmons15 10 лет назад +10

      I think it applies both ways. You want to share common goals in relationships and if the one you are pursuing doesn't love Jesus and you do, then that will cause major strain on the relationship. We should desire to be with someone who loves the Lord more than they love us.

    • @JeffersonBethkepage
      @JeffersonBethkepage  10 лет назад +12

      Josue Hernandez sorry if we didn't make it clear, but we'd say the same thing either way!

    • @Kirky753
      @Kirky753 10 лет назад +1

      I second Josue^^^ ***** Being a man and the different position he holds in a relationship, does it hold true for the same side if he puts Jesus first do you think it still follows the same thought you guys talk about in the video?

    • @josuehdz0
      @josuehdz0 10 лет назад

      ***** thanks bro. I was just wondering because I've heard that a man and a woman impact each other in different ways. I appreciate your reply! You should come down to Walla Walla sometime by the way! Just to hang out haha

    • @RileyWhittakerMusic1
      @RileyWhittakerMusic1 10 лет назад

      Definitely the same both ways man :) I think the reason the video addressed a girl a lot was because Alyssa was talking from her point of view.

  • @samrowlison2539
    @samrowlison2539 9 лет назад +8

    This video brought me out of a very dark and spiritually harmful relationship and it was exactly the words God intended for me to hear at the time. Thank you guys so much for speaking truth :)

  • @kkuczak0001
    @kkuczak0001 8 лет назад +3

    Thank you for being so real! God will bless your courage.

  • @MarkCox21125150
    @MarkCox21125150 6 лет назад +2

    WOW! Man i needed this! Thank you!! :)

  • @Angela-Renae
    @Angela-Renae 10 лет назад +11

    Spot ON Jeff and Alyssa!!!...Why would I want to date someone who is not a true Man of God..!!..That would be a losing battle and not fulfilling at all!!..I really enjoy these series and further affirms my decision to pump the brakes on dating right now and focus more on my relationship with the Father. Thanks for bringing it home with scripture!! Lamentation 3:25

  • @SophieMelissa
    @SophieMelissa 4 года назад +4

    My fiance is hindu, and I'm a Christian. He is the most respectful person I have ever met, and our life values are the same, the only issues we have had are our families wants for the wedding day itself! I don't want to convert him, and him neither to me, but we work well together, and I'm so happy and blessed to have him in my life!

    • @niya_n
      @niya_n 3 года назад +2

      I'm a Hindu dating a Christian. Lots of love. :)

  • @canadathailand1316
    @canadathailand1316 8 лет назад

    Love your videos and this is great advice, thanks for sharing.

  • @Niketa21
    @Niketa21 9 лет назад

    You guys should make more videos like this. Your messages are very inspiring and helpful

  • @Dusco25
    @Dusco25 10 лет назад +4

    Notice how Jefferson Bethke did not reply to my comment..

  • @Murrayed_Life
    @Murrayed_Life 9 лет назад +16

    I was not a Christian when I went on my husband and I's first date back when I was 18. One of the first questions he asked me was if I was a believer. I told him no. He then asked if I would go to church with him the following Sunday. I had always felt an urge to become a Christian but because of my upbringing and the group of friends I had, I didn't ever try hard enough to really explore my options on ways to learn about Jesus. 4 years later and we are married. He told me not too long ago that if I would have told him "no" to going to church with him on our first date, he would have never seen me again. My story is not very common and even though I do believe my husband brought me to Christ, I would never want to see my children date a non-believer. My situation is not very common and I wouldn't them to end up with someone with the thought process I used to have.

    • @alexeistrife56
      @alexeistrife56 9 лет назад +2

      So what you're trying to say is you agreed to do something to please someone else, and have now diluted yourself into thinking that they're right simple to make them happy? And if you're so disgusted by the idea of your children dating a non-religious person, then it's simple what you are.
      You're a bigot.

    • @AndreasDevig
      @AndreasDevig 9 лет назад

      May I ask, what was it that got you to start believing in Christianity?

    • @Murrayed_Life
      @Murrayed_Life 9 лет назад +4

      Alexei, I did not agree to do something to please him. He simply asked and I agreed. I had always felt a pull to go to church but because of the way I was brought up and the friends I was around I didn't necessarily have the best support to go and I wish I wouldn't have worried so much about what others would have thought of me. I didn't fake a belief. I am just open minded and am able to put myself in situations where I was not most comfortable to therefore form my own opinion of the world. Andreas, I remember the exact day. There was a message at church on forgiveness. It literally gave me chills. I knew at that very moment I wanted to give my life to Christ. I still remember the feeling I had to this day.

    • @AndreasDevig
      @AndreasDevig 9 лет назад +2

      Alicia Rodriguez-Murray Thanks for your civil response. You seem very easy going for a Christian. I, for one, can understand you not wanting your children to date people so different from your beliefs and values (as long as the choices of the children themselves are respected, of course).
      It's your life. You can do what you want. I was just curious about your story. It's hard, also, to understand or argue against internal feelings. But was it forgiveness that drew you in? I guess now you're drawn to all the aspects of it, huh?

    • @Murrayed_Life
      @Murrayed_Life 9 лет назад

      Andreas Devig I am very easy going, and even when it comes to communicating with people who may not understand or approve of my decisions. To each their own and I have to love everyone even if they don't like what I have to say. To answer your question, I guess since about age 6 I always felt like I "wanted" to believe in God. And I say it that way because I tried hard to believe in God because at that time I felt like something was wrong with me if I didn't. But as many others around the world I questioned and questioned. But that never gave me the "I will never try to open up to this ever again" mentality. Throughout my life I always felt like I should try harder and harder to study more about the Bible and go through discussions about Jesus. But like I said I couldn't share that with the people around me without getting judged for it and I wasn't a strong enough person to say "Hey, I want to look more into this, and I don't care what you think of me for it." Because unfortunately I did care too much. Looking back I can see how my life could have been so much better if I would have had the mindset I do now. Going to church has taught me how to care about people and overall live a more happy positive life. The forgiveness thing I think was just the cherry on the top that made me say "You know what, this makes since to me, I feel it in my heart, I don't have any doubts anymore." It was really an AHA moment. I also think that your environment may have something to do with it. Growing up I always assumed churches were filled with people who would judge you for what you are wearing and your status. Don't get me wrong, there are tons of people that go to church and judge you, but the church I got saved in was such a calm and serene environment and the pastor even told me when I got there not to tithe and don't get saved until I was ready. I think a lot of me getting saved has to do with the church I go to. I wear jeans, we have a rock band, all these things that I never associated with church. I hope this answers your question.

  • @blessedbythebest1003
    @blessedbythebest1003 5 лет назад

    Thank you for the motivation it’s needed as I wait.♥️

  • @britmcq309
    @britmcq309 6 лет назад +1

    Thank you guys for this!

  • @janafreakable
    @janafreakable 10 лет назад +18

    If you like or maybe even in love with the person you're dating, i don't see how religion can get between that? You're saying that just because they don't believe in god or whatever, then you can't be in love with eachother. Am i the only one, or is that complete bullshit?

    • @janafreakable
      @janafreakable 10 лет назад

      I don't see why that interfers with. So yes, if i loved the person so much that i would merry her.

    • @deathcyth1987
      @deathcyth1987 10 лет назад +1

      aBoughtLemon I love how on these videos people keep saying "western mindset"....that's...seriously something that occurs everyone there buddy not just in the west XD

    • @laciescaletta1008
      @laciescaletta1008 10 лет назад +1

      Uhm okay, so let's think of a hypothetical situation...say you're talking to a guy and you find out he's in a gang. Now idk if you're about that life or whatever but his life will be dictated by that...would u still be down or what? Christians live their lives based on scripture and try to make decisions that glorify God, now if you date someone who doesn't live their life like this...how are you supposed to still live your life as a Christian? Dating someone who rejects Jesus as their savior is not glorifying to God is it?

    • @deathcyth1987
      @deathcyth1987 10 лет назад +1

      Lacie Scaletta you're......you're actually serious aren't you? Ok first of all....about what life kiddo? gang life? you realize there are THOUSANDS of meanings to that. Oh and guess what. "gang" activity is not restricted to gang members, plenty of people murder deal drugs hurt others etc etc without a gang. Almost like....wait...wait a minute now...people can be good people without being Christian. HOLYCRAP MIND BLOWN. Also you didn't show how dating that person takes you away from living a Godly life...you just said it did. As for dating an unbeliever glorifying to God...I don't know....is being friends with a tax collector glorifying to God? seem to me like you're being pretty elitist. I wonder would you judge Jesus for the company he kept? cause it sounds like a pretty elitist argument you are presenting there.
      And hey guess what? not all gang members are the same person just like not all Christians are the same person same with non-believes cut the homogenized bullcrap. The church seems to want to do that these days....I swear guys like Bethke are harder and harder to tell apart from all the other "I'm gonna follow God while being a cool cat" guys out there. Stop with the generalization. And just see people for who they are not the label they wear

    • @laciescaletta1008
      @laciescaletta1008 10 лет назад +1

      justanother guy Ok dude, i see you're lookin for an argument. That gang reference was an analogy...Christians are dictated by the Bible and the teachings of Jesus...just as gang member's lives are dictated by the gang they're in..riiight? Just an analogy man, no need to take it out of context. Also, I said nothing about being a good person, I know there are bad people who call themselves Christian and good people who aren't Christian...not the point I was trying to make either. Obvz I'm referring to the Christians who actually follow and practice teachings in the scripture, not the majority of Americans who are actually nominal "christians". Idk why you're getting so offended...all i was saying was that if your significant other is not a Christian and you are I find it really unlikely to maintain the Christian life that God asks of you. If you aren't maintaining that life then no you are not glorifying him...how can you? You're putting him on the back burner. I will overgeneralize because most of the over generalizations tend to be true, sure there are exceptions but as a whole yah so true.

  • @MeticulousMaryy
    @MeticulousMaryy 10 лет назад +45

    Most of the time, I usually agree with your views and I really love the advice you two have to give, but I really must say that I disagree this time around.
    I was never very religious. When people asked what I believed in, I figured I would say that I was Christian since that's what my grandma said we were, but that's not even the right answer to that question. The truth is, I didn't know what to believe in.... I didn't know whether there was a God or not.
    When I started going though hard times in my life, I was so desperate for help. I turned to God for guidance, but I had never felt so alone. Finally, I decided that my prayers were useless and that there was no God.
    Then I met a boy.
    He spoke of Jesus all the time. He would tell me stories of the bible. He would tell me stories of his days as a youth leader. He bowed his head to say grace at meal times.... something so simple, yet it was something I had never seen.
    He eventually invited me along with him to church on Sunday. That was the first time I had ever been to church other than for funerals. He made me realize how wonderful the grace of God is. I was so thankful for him bringing me closer to God, but eventually, that turned around to me being thankful to God for bringing me to this boy.
    I know that it might sound terrible that this is what it took, a boy, for me to truly believe in God, instead of me finding God through my own free will, but the point is that now I believe. It shouldn't matter how you got on the road to being closer to Jesus, whether that was on your own or though the help of someone else.... the point is that you got there.
    And if you help someone come closer to Jesus, then isn't that a good thing?

    • @grandue23
      @grandue23 10 лет назад +13

      Finally someone who understands. My dad wasn't a Christian when he met my mom however with the right strategy, she got him to come to church. Sooner or later, he got saved and became a believer. So it's not really a question of whether it's a sin or not, but whether it's God's will in your life or not to date them.

    • @classy937
      @classy937 4 года назад +2

      You were willing to come to Jesus before marriage that is the difference.

    • @Godovereverything8
      @Godovereverything8 3 года назад +1

      It’s got to do mostly with marriage. Of course, you’ll meet someone, they may not be believers but, that’s part of the process. This is not saying “oh he’s an atheist” or he’s not a Christian, I can be with him or her or have a relationship with that person”. The whole point of the relationship is to spend the rest of your life with that person in marriage. If you’re not doing that, then you still have some maturing to do. This isn’t a game. It’s a commitment that you both will fight through all the wickedness of this world with God there to guide you both in marriage.

  • @sinaidacherubin2393
    @sinaidacherubin2393 8 лет назад

    Definitely needed to hear this today. Thank you guys.

  • @alidaterrazas3246
    @alidaterrazas3246 7 лет назад

    Thank you for making these encouraging videos

  • @debbie4613
    @debbie4613 7 лет назад +3

    I WAS a non christian girl when me and my christian boyfriend started dating. In the beginning i didn't see an issue in this. I thought we would figure it out, find a way to compromise... LOL! Today i am a christian, I've been reborn and got to feel the love and protection from god himself. My life has been forever changed and i couldn't be more thankful. I was a fool to ever think that we could last if i hadn't found the lord.. Me and my boyfriend truly believe god brought us together, to love one another, but mostly for us to love and serve him, to work for his kingdome together. I want to make clear that i never "decided" to become a christian to save my relationship. One day I just felt this overwhelming love, this protection, i felt save and i felt at home. That day was the day I met the lord, the day i felt his warm hand on my shoulder and i heard his word in my ears and his love in my heart. I'm still getting to know him daily and still need to ask my boyfriend a lot. I'm still learing about his kingdome and his word daily and i can honestly say, sometimes i stumble and it isn't always easy. But i truly believe that with the lord i'm destined to be and i couldn't be more thankfull to be a child of his.
    A relationship between a christian and a non christian is possible when it comes from god himself. When this is his plan for you and your future CHRISTIAN wife or husband. With god everything is possible. Spend time with him daily and listen to his word, only he will tell you and lead you to where you're destined to be.

  • @anmcvey311
    @anmcvey311 8 лет назад +5

    Jefferson, I really need your advice in a time like this. I am young, I have much of my life ahead of me. But I have recently met an incredible man, that has all of the qualities I am potentially seeking. Problem is, I do not believe he is very religious or strong in his faith in God. We haven't gotten into deep conversations over this. Nor have we really been on many dates, but I was feeling sick to my stomach for a while, thinking this can't be possible. This can't work. He is questioning God and that's just a deal breaker for me. But I just prayed and prayed, and I almost felt as if God spoke to me and lifted the burden I was feeling. I felt as if this person is being put into my life for a reason. I'm looking at it more as an opportunity to potentially bring someone closer to Him. I'm hoping it can work in that way, but I know that if my relationship with him is straying me from my relationship with Him, it's not a good idea.

    • @danielbarrios266
      @danielbarrios266 8 лет назад +8

      He doesn't need to be religious. What your goal should be is to tell him the love of Jesus Christ, because Jesus doesn't want us to be religious, he wants us to have a relationship.
      As for your lover:), just be an example of Christ. Trust me, he will want a taste of what you have. But make sure this man is what God wants for you ok! I wish you the best do luck Angel!

  • @BloggingRapperShow
    @BloggingRapperShow 8 лет назад

    Great stuff my brother! God bless you and your beautiful lady!

  • @Butterscotch9651
    @Butterscotch9651 9 лет назад

    Great video guys!!!!!! I wish I knew this when I was your age! May God bless you! Keep up the good work!

  • @Balthazar2242
    @Balthazar2242 10 лет назад +51

    What you think about God is the single most important thing about every person. It defines how you operate on a foundational level--whether you think He's great, or hates you, or doesn't exist, or doesn't care. It's vitally important to how you view the world.
    So this should be vitally important in a lifelong partner. You should at least agree on the foundational stuff. Tertiary things can differ, but not your core worldview, or else you will never truly relate to one another.

    • @ndseer1335
      @ndseer1335 10 лет назад

      Nah, I say it doesn't really matter. I could marry a Wiccan for all I care... I mean even God had Hosea marry an idolater... Just because you can't see, doesn't mean it isn't so.

    • @Balthazar2242
      @Balthazar2242 10 лет назад +1

      Jesse Lawhon
      Hosea isn't setting an example for all Christians. God doesn't say "go be like him and marry harlots."
      What you think about God is the most important part about you because it changes how you view the world. It is core to your human experience. You can say "He isn't real" or "He loves me" or "He doesn't care" and each of those things fundamentally change how you live your life.
      Does that make sense?

    • @Balthazar2242
      @Balthazar2242 10 лет назад +1

      You can be with someone different than you, but if you can't share with them your deepest thoughts and feelings about God (good or bad), and if you can't fully be honest with them about what you think about the world, then you're going to have problems.
      It is good to at least have _that_ basic belief in common so you at least agree on the most important thing first.

    • @ndseer1335
      @ndseer1335 10 лет назад +1

      Who says I can't share my thoughts and feelings about My God with a Wiccan? Who says I can't share with an Atheist my views on the world? If sharing is your reason then maybe that's the problem.
      It may be good to have that "basic belief" in common but it is no required nor is it the text book of a working marriage.
      God is Love and Love is the foundation of a good marriage, not bigotry and ignorance. Not looking at someone who says they don't understand religion and saying, well looks like there is no point wasting time on you.
      This is seclusion and God doesn't not seclude or divide his people, Satan does. God wants all his people and loves them for who they are.

    • @Balthazar2242
      @Balthazar2242 10 лет назад +1

      Jesse Lawhon
      I'm not saying you _can't_ marry someone with a different theology or religion than you. it is possible, even the Bible says so in 1 Cor. 7:12-14.
      But what I'm saying is that _ideally_ , you should have your religion in common with your spouse because you will understand eachother better, and you will be able to share that space with eachother.
      Here's an example in my mind: imagine a Christian woman is married to an atheist man. She is going through a really hard time and she really wants to pray with him and she needs him to pray for her and help her in her walk with God. However, since she knows he thinks her God is fake, she doesn't go to him for spiritual help. See how that can be difficult?
      In fact, how awful would it be to know that your spouse thought you were a fool for worshiping a "make-believe" God? I would never be okay with marrying a woman who didn't take my most personal relationship seriously.
      Does that make more sense?

  • @portialovee1720
    @portialovee1720 5 лет назад +5

    This truly helped me out this is something that I have been struggling with for a few months now me and this guy I have been on and off for almost a year I really felt a connection with him but once I gave my life to Christ I really felt like I had to make a decision this video really helps me out I was so confused but I know God wants what’s best for us which in the Bible it says do not be unequally yoked but because of Jesus and grace I was still confused about the matter this video really helped me out it wouldn’t be fair to me or him if we continued dating or even got married me being a follower of Jesus and him not believing I don’t think either of us would be as happy as we could be

  • @nicholasp4807
    @nicholasp4807 7 лет назад

    This is such an awesome video guys!

  • @domrivera386
    @domrivera386 9 лет назад

    You guys are amazing! You put everything that I was thinking into perspective! Thank you(;

  • @jessredmond5922
    @jessredmond5922 10 лет назад +5

    Jeff & Alissa
    Three Questions for you guys.
    1. Jeff you state in your book, your mom is in fact gay, and that even though she is, you still love her very much even though you may disagree on things. So my question is do you think same sex couples or relationship can also be considered a blessing from god if that person waits like you suggest, to find someone that god will bless them with?
    2nd question do you believe people who come from addictons can be saved & loved by god as much as those who never struggled with an addiction or a health problem?
    And thirdly, a lot of different religions feel different towards people with disabilities. What is your feeling towards disabled Christians & god, and do you think how some Christians who treat Christians with disabilities is fair?

    • @ChristonHan
      @ChristonHan 10 лет назад +10

      incase they don't reply to this, i'll try to answer some based on my Christian perspective and opinions (i'm not a priest btw)
      1. I don't think God blesses same sex relationships because that is not what He intended when He created us. In Mark 10:2-9, Jesus talks about marriage and divorce. He quotes Genesis when God made them male and female, and they became one flesh. Notice that Jesus said "male and female" indicating that this is the purpose He designed for marriage.
      2. Romans 6:23 "For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord."
      I believe we all were doomed to hell ever since Adam and Eve brought sin to this world. Some of the consequences of sin were addictions and health problems, but most consequential of all were death and separation from God. But God made a way for us to be saved. John 3:16 is a promise to anyone who believes in Jesus, will be saved. So yes, anyone who is or not addicted to anything can be saved.
      3. Jesus cured many disabled people in His day on earth. In fact, God tells us throughout the Bible to not only love the disabled, poor, widows, and orphans, but also our enemies. Therefore, all Christians are to love everyone, just as Jesus showed His love for us, who don't deserve to live, by dying on the cross so that we may live.
      These are my perspectives, which I hope they helped. God bless.

  • @MrEarthwaterwind
    @MrEarthwaterwind 10 лет назад +4

    Good video. Where do you get your T shirts from? Thanks

  • @sarahlacasse3489
    @sarahlacasse3489 9 лет назад

    I really love your dating series. Please do some more videos together!

  • @OmoItsekiri
    @OmoItsekiri 9 лет назад

    One of the best explanations I have heard; it just makes sense.

  • @Jkila25
    @Jkila25 10 лет назад +9

    People are like "Oh your being judgemental" or "Who are to judge". Its one thing to make a judgement call then to actually judge the person. People also mistake judging for Condemnation. That isnt the case. It's simply, Are they pursuing Jesus or not. Not are they a good and bad person. Will they build me up in Christ? Are we not to put God first? Is Jesus Christ not our identity and worship is the lifestyle we are suppose to live? Coming at this biblically remember that. Read his WORD!! You personally may see nothing wrong, but you see its not about how we feel when following Christ. Bible does not talk about dating specifically, but it does talk about how we are to live and how without Jesus we are nothing. This is what God says and as the popular saying goes "Only God can judge me" And his word is SET! We are to LOVE UNCONDITIONALLY! But we also need to know what is good and bad and what will help further us in our relationship with God.

  • @PriscillaMrtnz
    @PriscillaMrtnz 10 лет назад +21

    Do not be unequally yoked

    • @JoshuaLoftis
      @JoshuaLoftis 10 лет назад +1

      amen!

    • @TokinMystic12
      @TokinMystic12 10 лет назад

      Have ye not read how our fore father Jacob , his wife Rachel was fond of pagan gods ? (Genesis 31)

  • @Alexisaguirre7
    @Alexisaguirre7 Год назад +1

    I love the way she stares at him! ❤️🙏🏽 I feel like a lot of times we go with the flow instead of thinking if dating a non-Christian would be a good thing in the long run.

  • @SharpSniper10
    @SharpSniper10 9 лет назад

    God Bless you brother i needed to hear this so badly. i truly felt the lord using you two as a tool to speak to me and answer my prayers. Once again God bless you guys and keep doing what your doing!

  • @solbee350
    @solbee350 10 лет назад +10

    The best couple on RUclips!!!

  • @KBonilla
    @KBonilla 10 лет назад +4

    I don't know anything more impatient then this topic

  • @lizaduilioroll1304
    @lizaduilioroll1304 9 лет назад

    Wow! Nice presentation of this important topic for us all. I would like to share it with my kids at some point as they think about dating in the future.

  • @kat9473
    @kat9473 4 года назад +1

    i literally could listen to her talk all day

  • @ljubekillerzver
    @ljubekillerzver 9 лет назад +3

    how do you allow something not based in reality to control your life

  • @Arodfever
    @Arodfever 10 лет назад +6

    I think a reason why a lot of women aren't with Christian men is because our fathers aren't raising us up to be proper men.
    I watch a lot of guys that can't lead and take care of themselves and make themselves strong, much less love a woman...
    Then there are also a lot of girls who claim to be Christian that don't seem to be walking with The Lord if you look at their behavior and language.

    • @Arodfever
      @Arodfever 10 лет назад

      ***** Nahh bruh, both people are at fault in this situation. I'm just not a girl so I can't speak from a female's perspective.

    • @siribright7165
      @siribright7165 10 лет назад

      It looks to me like we both said there are problems on both sides. At least I think that's what we said. *sarcasm* I'm a female and I can say there are women that aren't right by God
      Plenty.

  • @gerryvyti4256
    @gerryvyti4256 8 лет назад

    Love this video! You just gained a new sub :)

  • @tmunoz1490
    @tmunoz1490 7 лет назад +1

    As someone who has been in a relationship for 12 years with a non-believer. I agree 100% on everything you guys have said. So many aspects of our marriage has been affected because we are unequally yoked. Unfortunately we began dating during a personal season of rebellion and then we married during that season...The comment you guys made about "either making God the center and then the spouse/partner is pushed to the side" or vise a versa DOES happen. Being like minded is so important. Through the Grace of God we are now in a position were I can listen to Worship music and discuss my beliefs with him, with out him having a negative reaction. I recently experienced death in a very personal way and through my grief and pain I poured my heart out to him on Why the Gospel is such an important part of my life and Why I believe in God!! He is an Atheist..since then his attitude toward God has changed. I thank the Lord every day for this small step, however I firmly believe in what you guys say about "flirt to convert". So very true! I really appreciate videos like this..I have a ten year old daughter and I know that in the near future these types of topics will come up and I hope to share these things with her.

  • @MauroEnfermoDeLepra
    @MauroEnfermoDeLepra 10 лет назад +27

    I love how you said you hate religion but you make a distinction between christian and non-christian while advocating for sectarism

    • @xXEnderDraonMasterXx
      @xXEnderDraonMasterXx 10 лет назад

      He hates religious but he never said he will stop following it.

    • @NaomiIris
      @NaomiIris 10 лет назад

      from God's point of view, there is an abyss between heaven and hell.
      That difference could be powerfully destructive when it comes to marriage. (it's not about religion, you can be a religious sinner, or a pious or whatever)

    • @MauroEnfermoDeLepra
      @MauroEnfermoDeLepra 10 лет назад +6

      He made a video a while ago saying he loves Jesus but hates religion. Because religion was divisive and Jesus came to abolish that. Now here he is promoting the same shit. People leting a relationship aside because his imaginary friend don't like it are insane.

    • @NaomiIris
      @NaomiIris 10 лет назад

      I wish people could have the right words to explain what they meant, but this whole world is supernatural, people think they could reach and understand God...waste of time guys :) (hope you recieved my messasge Tyrion)

    • @MauroEnfermoDeLepra
      @MauroEnfermoDeLepra 10 лет назад +1

      Well like I'm not a psychiatrist I may never understand you delusions nor your imaginary friends.

  • @peytontaylor184
    @peytontaylor184 8 лет назад +9

    I am a 17 year old girl and I do NOT date a non-Christian. I have liked a couple of non-Christians but I never dated one. God had my back big time.

  • @amandasparks6091
    @amandasparks6091 8 лет назад

    awesome stuff bro ....so inspirational

  • @muggle131
    @muggle131 9 лет назад

    Excellent points.

  • @grandue23
    @grandue23 10 лет назад +9

    It's preferable that a Christian dates another believer however that isn't always the case. My dad wasn't a Christian when my mom dated her and that's how he came to Christ. You have to be open to what God says to you and it's a matter of whether it's his will for you to date a person so they can come to Christ.

    • @ndseer1335
      @ndseer1335 10 лет назад

      ***** Hasea was told to marry an idolater... it's not rare case, it's the way the world works. Quit being so bigot and secluded of outside people who need people to be there for them. God detest those who reject others based on such little things.

    • @PunkyPink85
      @PunkyPink85 10 лет назад

      Same with my parents, but you have to remember to be cautious.

  • @dracoxephyr7481
    @dracoxephyr7481 8 лет назад +22

    Maybe you should try to love someone for who they are if you really feel a connection. Lousy reason to turn someone down.

    • @cabbagepatch777
      @cabbagepatch777 8 лет назад

      +Draco Xephyr That's true. The hardest part about dating if you are a Christian who doesn't believe in sex before marriage...non-Christians and Christians both expect sex before love, or before marriage. They don't even care to get to know someone or love them first, they just want sex. Even the ones who claim to be very religious. They will dump someone over no sex no matter how great the person is.

  • @JA_Peralta
    @JA_Peralta 10 лет назад

    i really like your videos very much! never had heard of you, but God bless!!

  • @Theloyl
    @Theloyl 8 лет назад +2

    This video truly helped me. I just broke up with a guy who isn't Christian and I am torn. I was settling and I came to that realization and I had to let go.

  • @RockinPrincess85
    @RockinPrincess85 10 лет назад +4

    I think it's also possible for God to lead you to a non Christian to possibly LEAD them to faith. Because I was friends with my husband before I fell for him, and he actually taught me A LOT about Jesus and Christianity because I was actually very bitter towards God when I met my husband. He definitely didn't flirt to convert, but I saw a light in him that pulled me towards the same flame like a moth and for that I'm thankful. Just a perspective to throw out there. :)

  • @danielle3409
    @danielle3409 8 лет назад +9

    To all of the atheists complaining about what they're saying in this video, I don't understand why you're mad about it. Why would a Christian date and possibly marry a non Christian? Most marriages lead to children and if one of the parents are a non believer, they're most likely going to be telling the children that there is no God which will cause many problems in the marriage. I dated an atheist for 2 years and it was the most dreadful thing I've ever had to deal with. I'm not talking about all atheists because I'm sure there are some decent ones out there, but based on my experiences with him and other atheists, they're usually disrespectful and get joy out of making people of the book feel ignorant for believing in a "fairy tale" as they call it. I respected them for being non religious, but it was so difficult for them to respect me for being religious. &Honestly, they talked about religion more than any religious person I know. It's sad actually. They hate religion and religious people so much, yet most of their conversations and thoughts were based on religion and religious people. It makes absolutely no sense to me. Why are they so worried about something that they don't even believe in? I loved him so much, but the more time I spent with him, the less I could see a future with him. &I truly believe that if a Christian is desperate to marry a non Christian for whatever reason it is, don't choose an atheist.. For the sake of the children.. Marry a Muslim or Jew. At least they're people of the book..

    • @nataliewalters2759
      @nataliewalters2759 6 лет назад

      Not even those either because they are not saved and don't know Jesus as your savior and Lord. If you are a Christian woman marrying a Muslim man is extremely dangerous! If he is devout you automatically become Muslim and loose your rights if you have kids. It's almost impossible in Muslim countries for women to divorce their husbands but men can. Plus the kids also are rights to the husband. Also you would have to where a hijab or burka.

  • @yb5rr
    @yb5rr 9 лет назад

    I love how they look at each other when the other ones speaking..

  • @lauragri4200
    @lauragri4200 7 лет назад +2

    As a Christian I'll always put God priority. But what if I date a Muslim guy, who respects all my choices and believes including Jesus? Is that a sin too?

  • @suvarenee
    @suvarenee 10 лет назад +11

    hmmm, I'm an atheist so I married another atheist.

    • @triniboy4418
      @triniboy4418 10 лет назад

      Your profile pic tho

    • @niazi12121
      @niazi12121 10 лет назад +1

      That means you won't be doing a orgy with Jesus))))))

  • @lorraine56289
    @lorraine56289 9 лет назад +4

    Amen to that may the Lord continue blessing your guys relationships and faith

  • @claudiuroman3161
    @claudiuroman3161 8 лет назад

    Your video helped guys. God bless you and keep you !

  • @MelanieKilsby
    @MelanieKilsby 7 лет назад

    Great video!