Why the DISMISSIVE AVOIDANT attract but can't keep partners
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- Опубликовано: 6 дек 2023
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Why the DISMISSIVE AVOIDANT attract but can't keep partners
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coach court, breakup, ex back, avoidant ex, fearful avoidant, mental health 
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It's taken me almost 2 years to accept the end of an unhealthy relationship. Accepting reality is very hard but necessary.
I am with you... I have been wracking my brain for a long time trying to figure out what keeps going wrong on our relationship. After two years, I discovered the attachment styles and it was a light bulb moment for me. I am in the process of walking away and it's like a dagger in my heart, but I know the relationship will not be successful if he doesn't get help. I'm so glad these videos and groups exists so that we can support one another. This is hard ish...
I am literally right there with you. It was almost 2 years for me (a failed engagement) and officially gathered the strength to walk away. I wonder, has anyone in this world been successful to even marry a dismissive avoidant??, since they're so freaking scared to be in a serious relationship with people. This attachment style is honestly so very ridiculous to me. It's extremely childish.
At this point, I think that I should send an attachment quiz before going on a date with someone 😂
Although i’m a fearful avoidant, I healed most of my avoidant style, but it’s harder to heal my anxious side and dating an avoidant is too triggering for me.
Great video though!!❤️
😂😂😂I joke about that sometimes
This video was definitely spot on, I used to date a DA and I was left in such a way that to this day a year and half later, I am still broken and confused. These videos on DA's definitely help me connect the dots and give me more clarity, but why do I still love this man knowing this is just in his DNA? It still hurts, it still stings. I honestly have never met a soul like his. It's hard to shake off. But I appreciate your videos. They are very helpful to navigate through this breakup I wish never occurred and if it did I wish he just communicated with me. That's all. I understand it's hard for them to and I fully accept him, but I suppose thats what hurts, that he knew I accepted him as is and he still left. Tried to give him his space, guess it wasn't enough. It's been hard to move on. No guy measures up to him. I see content on DA's coming back, and honestly, I'm pretty sure mine won't. It's been a year and a half. I genuinely just miss him. It's been a long road to let go, but I know it's necessary. For what it's worth, I do wish him so much happiness regardless of him breaking my heart. I'll never hate him.
I'm with you I walked away in February and in 6 months he tried to come back. I went no contact so we started back talking and I thought we would work on it well yesterday he called me and said it was over. All I'm going to say is this if they are not working on them selves stay away from them.
So accurate. The DA would talk about trips and all. Never took one. I do think in his mind he wants relationship things.
The part about them wanting to stay in the dating stage hit home for me. We would see very rarely and she would never initiate anything. And when I wanted to spend time with her, it was automatically "yeah let's go out". I haven't seen you in 3 weeks and you want me to go sit a bar and then send me home, great.
I am trying to get out of a year long cycle with a DA. I just figured out what’s been happening. I am feeling so many things. I don’t ever want to experience this in the future 😔
You’ll be educated
How do the secure folks react? We deal with DAs as well but there are never any hints or scenarios for us.
We just walk away I suppose? Idk 🏃🏿♀️🏃🏿♀️🏃🏿♀️
Dont waste your time if they don't change..... And not everyone they discard are anxious
I have been no contact 10 months to me that healing for me i left him and i didnt tell him why i left i dont know if he feel confused now about it but now im doing fine ,im healing and i Thank God for that Thank you for helping people understand 🙏🏽🙏🏽
🙏🏾🙏🏾
I appreciate your fairness and humility. What I also usually see in each and every professional is highlighting the dismissive's traumas ,fears, etc and forgetting that if anxious partners are anxious is due to abuse/ neglect and rejection in their earliest years from those who are supposed to do the opposite. Another issue is that not all anxious partners act out verbally and behaviorally E.g: clinginess, neediness, demands.
I found my ex on Tinder again (he matches the DA style). He’s now looking for an open relationship (he didn’t want that before and never expressed that to me). He’s rightfully on block and staying on block. 1 month of no contact.
Solid analysis of dismissive avoidants.
Thanks my man 🙏🏾
This is on point! So wise, ty
OMG Coach Court, you hit the nail on the head with this one! The last man I dated has absolutely NO PROBLEM finding women to date. He just can’t maintain a healthy, safe relationship long term. He even admitted it to me in a FaceTime and I called it out. That was DEFINITELY the writing on the wall. It lasted 7 months. 😢
Same here. 9 months then monkey branched to the next just before Xmas. He’s probably happy as anything right now while I’m breaking. 😢
@@Moving_on_2 Stay strong and run straight into the heartbreak. FEEL IT! Get mad, sad, adn everything in between. The sooner you feel it, you can heal it! Hopefully, you are in no contact and can take this time to focus on YOU! It does get better. I've been in no contact for 9 months and I finally feel like myself again. Trust me when I tell you his "happiness" will not last! It will hit him at some point. And you will be completely over it by then! I'm rooting for you!🙏❤🩹
Thank you for this. So needed!
Absolutely
Great vid 🙌
Thanks for watching 🙏🏾
BRAVO!
Thanks for watching!
Thanks for this. I am an avoidant trying to learn more.
You got it!
As a 53 dismissive, gorgeous ginger lady, already married and divorced, plus 2 previous finacées, a dozen boyfriends... I drop out every time I feel controled or put in a lower position in the couple (witch I think must be equal). Now I'm hanging out with 2 beatiful men, I learn that the better for me is not to be exclusive, to be free - witch doesnt is a problem at all, since I have a very strong nerwork of friends and family. I put my sons as a priority and respect my partners priorities to! I just whant total honesty and kindness in my relations. Sorry my bad english, I'm typing from Lisbon, Portugal. PS. I'm succefull in my job, never depended on anyone for pay my bills. Love travelling, starting new projects, and been a volunteer in social programs.
Girl. I need you as a mentor. I'm a DA and I'm struggling so bad.
This is helpful, but what are tips for when this happens to get through this with the DA?
IMO is stating your needs and boundaries, and stick with them. Don't wait until they are ready to come out of the shell if it's damaging your mental health.
Da struggles as much as AP do .. not good being insecure
You’re awesome.
Thank you 🙌🏾