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Watch this if your ex is a dismissive avoidant
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- Опубликовано: 2 окт 2022
- This is a video that will help you understand your dismissive ex and learn how to communicate with them for a desirable response and possible reunion
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Why doesn’t the Avoidant have to do anything to improve? It’s always everyone else that had to tip toe around them. They’re big babies. Way too much work.
They’re damaged souls. Not big babies. You have to have a lot of grit and tenacity to stick it out with a DA. A lot of understanding and patience too. It’s not for everyone
I always ask the same question: why do we have to change ourselves, but it seems as though they do nothing to prove they want our love.
Ok, I get that people with DA are emotionally traumatized and damaged. But they aren't they only ones who experience trauma, as they seem to think. Rather than doing the very grueling, painful, even excruciating work of seeking therapy and healing and growing, they instead CHOOSE to sink into their little sad safe place. They expect everyone to handle them with kid gloves and walk on eggshells around them. They are incredibly selfish, unable to empathize with others because they feel like nobody could fathom what their pain feels like. It's exhausting. It's like giving everything you have of yourself and getting shoved away once they've had their fill and gotten what they want out of you. When they're done with you, they blindside you rather than discussing emotions like adults. They play victim. They gut you and throw you out like trash and somehow it's still your fault. No. They're big babies who CHOOSE not to deal with the real world, or own their bullshit and who CHOOSE to be stuck in their woe is me melancholy with no regard for anyone but themselves. When you're someone who worked their ass off to work through and grow from a deep trauma, it's a slap in the face when these assholes dismiss your feelings and invalidate your experiences.
@jesicastefanski7782 that was the most thought out, accurate and powerful comment describing the mindset and attitude of a DA. You are spot on with everything you stated.
@konvict451 Thank you for your kind words. DAs really are the most frustrating, draining, toxic people you will ever meet. I guess I just lost compassion for them because they habitually treat people like crap and expect to be excused from responsibility for their actions simply because they're sad and bitter and they're perpetually the "victim" of their own circumstances. I hope you've healed from your experience with a DA. They tend to cause a lot of emotional damage.
Best advice.....run for the hills, secure people they aren't attracted to, so when you become secure they can't accept your boundaries
They are attractive yo you because they wanted to feel needed so they can run. Very few get success with this mind fuckery
DA are like chocolate bunnies, look good, but melt easy, and have nothing on the inside, and little healthy content. The more it gets touched, the more it gets deformed.
Lmaoooo this is perfect
Great analogy
You’re describing their behaviours not the person, because of the nature of their avoidant trauma they struggle to see it, they can change as all people do, even needy anxious types. So much criticism for people with trauma induced behaviour, they don’t like their triggers.
It's ok for DAs to be alone. What's not ok is starting relationships with people when they know all they'll do is drain you off your energy and NEVER pour back into you. They should date other DAs only and leave the rest of us alone.
I agree it’s all about the energy and being in the middle but let me tell you, when you’re secure you don’t want an avoidant anymore. They prefer someone who chases them and you don’t when secure so there is nothing keeping that together. You tend to attract a totally different type of person
Why do they block and come back if u dont chase?
@@michaelmich00 the moment you give them the time of day it’s the same pattern. Doesn’t work. The name of the game is they aren’t comfortable with being close so they chase when you don’t want them and when you do they push you away. The book attached goes into this a lot. It’s a great read
Dated a dismissive for almost 7 months. I ended up breaking up with him two weeks ago. I know i deserve better and i dont want to keep fixing or helping someone who doesnt need it or want it.
magicaljspiritualist
magicaljspiritualist
magicaljspiritualist
She help me restore my broken relationship back she is on instagram you can text her for help
@@Lolipop8686 yes dear
All these programs helped me get him back- but now I get kinda disgusted looking back at all these excuses being made for the avoidant. They're selfish & immature, period.
Top 3 Best video of DA on RUclips. period. The text was so helpful for overview. Thank you! I know I have done a lot to become more secure, and that asking for once a week a good call when my GF at the time was in Spain studying was NOT to much to ask. She could not meet our agreement, even when she said she was gonna. I have to know my self worth and my needs. If there is no way of even a small compromise on their part.... well. The answer is right here. I broke up but in hindsight, I should have stated my boundaries and my needs to meet in the middle. She couldn't. Good thing I learned insanely much from this. Thank you for your video it helps SO much!
Are you a mountain person or a beach person?
I understand what you’re saying about “limited conversation” with EX(Avoidant), but that’s not what I want! I am think about messaging her so that my friends can collect my belongings and possibly I will put a FULL STOP on this “sick” avoidant ex!! I don’t want someone like that and be ALWAYS in fear anticipating her “attack” again in the future, after marriage and/or kids!! That would be more disastrous and they can impact my kids too! Don’t want another “sick” people around me!! Let her live and enjoy her life and let her find the “disease” of her by herself!! I am so angry about her and our 3.5 yrs relationship!!!
Thank you Alexis for so much useful information!!
Are you a mountain person or a beach person
My avoidant was looking for a replacement during deactivation...looking back I thought we had a relationship but reality was it was fwb
Great content. How would you advise people to deal with an avoidant ex who somehow has come to believe you are incompatible (but this is largely because they can’t navigate inevitable differences or normal disagreements in any relationship in a healthy way, without leaving and needing “space” or “peace”). I’m other words, when they can’t see that they have a skewed view of what makes a compatible relationship!
I’d leave them alone and give them space. Don’t rush anything. Just work on yourself. I was with one for 5 years. We are now in separation and I’ve learned so much since the breakup. He’s slowly coming around again. He’s def the same. Claims I was unhappy, claims we may always be just friends bc we are just incompatible. Yet I know we love each other. I know there’s still something deeper there. I see small progress but he’s very distant. He doesn’t contact me. That’s for sure. And give him a lot of space. It’s been 8 months so don’t get discouraged. Just work on your anxious attachment and your neediness and desperation. Find something that you like doing and are passionate about. Just be cool and take it slow. Everytime you talk or see them just be calm and collected and into yourself. Not obvious but you know what I mean. Let them think what they want, work on your self concepts and see yourself as an amazing loved and wanted person. You’re the prize. 🎉
@@realmsofthespiritarts8557 Exactly my situation. 4 months after she suddenly said she isn't ready for a commitment. Its been hard "giving her space", but its the only thing we can do. Then wait, while working on your self for sure.
Yea I got the standard “we are just not right for each other”. That was AFTER he said the breakup was temporary, and he started seeing another woman. He blocked me suddenly, without any dialogue of why we are suddenly “not right for each other”. The lack of communication and empathy is astounding. I don’t even know this person. I could never do someone that way, avoidant or not. We lived together for 3 years!! I was his longest relationship by 2 years, and he’s 34.
Remember; they have a proclivity to think negatively of others and highly of themself. They tend to focus on little things about their partner that annoy them; or perceived things; imperfections; etc as a deactivating strategy to create distance. They almost make a laundry list of things over time to convince themselves you aren’t compatible. ( sometimes there isn’t compatibility for sure but they tend do this all relationships long term or short term ). The skewed view is there for protection. They often have an “ ideal “ woman. Unfortunately; that ideal doesn’t exist. I wonder if it could be the “ ideal “ love they never got from main caregiver. So they are always seeking the perfect love that will save them from themselves.
The best thing you can do is seriously focus on you. If you aren’t secure; focus on getting more towards secure like this coach explains in this great vid. I’m telling you; I did this and I wasn’t strong anxious ( AP; HSP ; rescuer ; parentification; empath) I’m. with my very very strong DA who leans FA. All of the betrayals; lies; secrets; continued throughout. Even after I found out about an LO. The unrequited love; the one he never got. Turns out she didn’t want him ; just a histrionic that sent fake pics to him and many others seeking attention. The betrayals continued with ogling ; that did stop ( at least when I was around) but he continued to be emotionally unavailable for holding space for me with all the betrayals. He ran; hid and numbed his pain through alcohol and occasionally P. While I’m suffering; from the trauma he caused. Yep; it’s about them. Always. When I started focusing on me ; plus ever since I found out about the betrayals; I deeply educated myself on attachment; psychology; relationships. After a long while I realized I was doing all the work; I was changing he wasn’t emotionally. He was able to treat us as a couple finally; spending time together; paying for things ( I always paid)so I had a buddy for a bf but no emotional connection. I did have connection; but continued to pull away after finding out everything; and the gap just got bigger and bigger as there was no repair in his part emotionally. It’s hard because I felt lonely after I moved in. I was connected but I now realize he never was to me. The loneliness is worse now because I had felt connection but it’s not safe to have it anymore. I stopped just running back and forgiving. It kept us in the same dance. Up and down and it’s exhausting and exasperating. I had to stop it. I had radical acceptance he won’t change. I continued therapy for a bit longer ; but I’ve mostly taught myself. I worked on me and I’m different now. Once you understand you are alone emotionally in this dynamic you are forced to take care of yourself. Now; I feel stronger towards being secure; I have boundaries ( never had any ) and I’m able to take care of myself emotionally ( like i had to in my marriage) I feel like I’m back to who I had to be in my long marriage to a diagnosed socio. ( divorced ) It’s not for me though. I need intimacy and connection so I understand why I’m lonely. I can’t get connection from my bf; not only does he not allow it; now I won’t allow myself to get connected in certain ways with him anymore as he has destroyed trust over and over again; I realize I deserve that connection and intimacy ( as imperfect as it may have been) I was able to have in my past; in the beginning of my relationships; until they betrayed me. Eventually I swayed avoidant as they continue to hurt me. It’s not natural for me. I need intimacy and connection. I have felt it before and it’s amazing. I am open and honest with him; I speak calmly and carefully chose my words and he continually gets defensive and wants to do circular off tangents blaming others that have nothing to do with the convo or topic. I let him know calmly that I’m not going around in circles; I stay on topic as it was something between us not the kids; ( mine tends to deflect often and circular stuff that always turns into argument; which is his operation to create heat; to get out and run and hide). I don’t get into it anymore. I don’t bite ; I just stay calm and relaxed and speak from my heart. I have always let him speak and repeat back what he’s saying so he knows he’s been heard. It doesn’t matter. I get accused of not listening. He admitted to therapist long ago that; I was kind; generous; thoughtful; attentive; understanding; patient; tried to meet his needs; responsive; and loving. That he wants closeness but would push me away when I tried to meet them. He admitted he stops himself at some point from getting close to me; although he says he trusts me ( had abusive ex’s) now that I know his way his ways are abusive too ; so who knows about those exes. He can it’s at about 15 seconds into a conversation ( he calls even a convo and argument he gets so escalated within seconds that he actually can’t hear me ( shuts down completely and can only hear himself). After all this admitting therapist tonight we could make some headway. After 2 years she released him as he just wasn’t willing to do the work and the relationship that was hanging by a thread 🪡 was held by me. Once you heal so much it’s so empowering you feel different; happier; stronger; healthier; and while lonely at times it’s not so painful. I have realized I’m just not attracted to him anymore emotionally; and I know I wouldn’t attract these styles anymore. I wish I had blocked him; and worked on myself a lot sooner as I lost so many years but what can you do ? 🤷🏼♀️ unless they are willing to do the work; it will most likely be you that ends up suffering and losing a lot. Wishing you all the best. 💛
@@realmsofthespiritarts8557 yeah I agree 100%
Avoidant I was seeing never said relationship is over. Just pushed away, still talks like normal on txt and ends it with hugs for now and kisses and says when she is free she will let me know. So odd
magicaljspiritualist
magicaljspiritualist
magicaljspiritualist
It was never a relationship to begin with. Think about it
Mine did the same thing. He hugged me and told me he loved me, paid for me to go to Vegas for a photography business trip I asked for, and the night I left (Friday to Tuesday) he went on a sugarbaby site looking for someone else. Went on dates and who else knows probably sex. Still texted me and called when I was in Vegas. Never communicated he wanted to be done. Yes I put him down a few months before this because I was upset we barely had time together. I always see him on his time. ( Tuesday at midnight then until 2 or 3pm) and then Saturday night at 9pm to Sunday night) never just because. Went I asked for his phone to use google, I saw him on the site and broke up with him. We agreed if I saw him back on the site we are done. He knew that and wanted to hid it. He justified it cus I hit him in the balls and hit him two times and I know I was wrong for it but he never took accountability for his part He said he was sorry but it was only cause he was caught. He would have kept it a secret while I still loved him. It was really cruel. Now he calls and texts but it’s not anything solid. No I am sorry for my actions, I want to change. It hurts me the most
It's very true. I pulled back completely and gave my ex time and space for 2 weeks, he initiated the talk. I could feel his love and his fear, so I'm being optimistic for the future. It's his battle to fight and I will watch him from far and give him some love and support. I'm a safe type so I'm emotional stable and independent.
What did you do when he reached out ? Did you expand the conversation or let him take the lead ?
magicaljspiritualist
magicaljspiritualist
magicaljspiritualist
........she can help you restore back your relationship back she help me few weeks ago
Would be interesting to have a video about the DA's psychology, thoughts and behaviours, when a secure person is breaking up with a dismissive avoidant one. Because there are other situations than an anxious being left by an avoidant...
I totally agree that a healthier and more secure relationship is possible. But only if the DA becomes secure as well. I pulled away because I could see that it wasn't the case. Is a more secure ex-DA able to initiate recontact, or is it too hard for them?
Also, if they come back, it's necessary to address the reasons why the secure partner left, at one moment or another...
When you're with someone who is at one extreme pole, their opposite features will come out in you. An example would be any type dating a Dismissive Avoidant would then be forced to show or develop Anxious tendencies because they push away. Even as a Fearful Avoidant, I was forced to be the anxious one, until I snapped and shut down - then becoming the avoidant one. If you were to date an Anxious Preoccupied type, their pulling nature and always available "on" switch would make you be the avoidant because the AP energizes off always being around others and wanting attention. The reason the Dismissive pole is stronger in driving relationships is the old adage that whoever cares less controls the relationship - and the DA is always ready to leave you because they're never 100% invested in anyone but themselves. Being secure (the middle ground) doesn't save you from developing tendencies of other types OR changing into another type if traumatized in life. He covered issues with DAs and mostly why people break up with them.
Now that I understand the dynamics and how she is I know for a fact I could make it work. I have never dated someone like this before so I was confused and treated it as if she was anxious like my other gfs. Looking back now I can see that I must have been totally overwhelming to her and she thought I was taking her away from her own time. If she ever will talk to me again🙏🏻 I know I will be able to calm her fears, at least I hope if I haven’t ruined it already.
Did she reach out?
rip.
Don't do it. You can't help her; she doesn't want to be helped. She'lll only drain you of every last bit of sanity then leave you high and dry with absolutely no remorse.
I confronted my avoidant after the break up, because he almost immediately started seeing someone he knew before we broke up. (We were living together 3 years) I broke no contact and blew up his phone with anxiety. He was so cold, and he blocked me. Completely different person. Yet he left me on ONE social media account, and still checks my page there. 2 months total of breakup, 1 month since I was blocked, still no word. He broke up with the rebound but is not contacting me. I’m assuming because the breakup was so bad. It hurts that he did this to us. 😔 on top of that, it took him 2 years to say “I love you” to me, and he told her he loved her 1 month in!! I was DEVASTATED. She broke up with him and ghosted him out of nowhere. I guess she was a karmic relationship for him, considering he did the same to me.
Sounds like a narcissist
Usually, DAs have multiple phantom exes and may stalk them on social media accounts (like my ex). They'll emotionally and mentally withdraw from a relationship beforehand and not indicate anything is wrong. And when relationships end, they can jump into another relationship and try to carry on at the level of where they were in the last relationship - skipping over the slow and warming up to get to know your partner phase. So that's why he told her he loved her so fast compared to you.
The problem with dating a DA is they come with so much baggage called previously dated gfs who they stalk, check in on, talk to, and keep as a future maybe, that you're starting off in a three way relationship with a ghost of ALL their past gfs and only their good attributes (none of the bad). So the phantom exes are on a pedestal and you're nothing. Defining anything would make those girls unavailable to him (and most of them are) so he avoids any commitment yet has "exes." And when you break up, you'll join the army of ghost exes even though you were never called girlfriend but will be remembered as part of the phantom ex. A collection of memories and people, expectations that no one person could ever possibly live up to.
Oh also - DAs keep one line of communication open for those they hope to reconcile with later as another future possibility so in order to send a message of FU and also really do no contact, I would sever that tie and block them. But fyi, my DA ex uses an alt account to watch my insta (the social media site most DAs use). Good luck.
It is not worth it at all
magicaljspiritualist
magicaljspiritualist
magicaljspiritualist
☝️☝️
I agree someone secure wouldn’t put up with any of this. I wouldn’t today. When I was younger and immature and more insecure yes. The whole point is when you’re healthy you attract healthier people and this type of person that’s avoidant is not healthy whatsoever. It’s not a match
Ours was a healthy breakup it turns out .i was not respecting her avoidant boundaries (i wasn’t aware of the boundaries and attachment style until after the fact)..she was avoidant but was trying to meet me in my need for more touch and time..
Not sure about scared and stressed. My DA was texting guys while in a relationship with me. One foot always out the door. I'm sure she is onto the next by now.
You’re anxious type right? So you were jealous and overly possessive of her, and now you accuse her of infidelity? Who’s to blame here? So many angry, anxious types on here running from their own destructive insecurities. I’m anxious too, I had the same reaction when my ex texted guys, when there is absolutely nothing wrong with her having guy friends! I own my mistakes, it’s not the 1920’s.
@norswil8763 OK I take what your saying and I agree jealous and possessive is not good. But when all her guy friends are one's she has been naked with before or others that just want her and she enjoys that attention and sends other married men inappropriate messages and texts and tries to hide these from you, I'm sorry it's just wrong. At the end of the day a dismissive will sabotage a good relationship no matter how good the guy. Apparently he ex was the most she ever loved and she cheated on him also. Even though you have a point, there's a limit to both sides and what's healthy in a relationship.
@@droflivelife my ex and myself would skinny dip with all our friends, one of them she used to causally sleep with before I came along and that would in itself make me jealous, without reason. Again, did she actually cheat? Are you assuming those messages were inappropriate? Or was the result of your jealousy the thing that blew up the communication. Your bad reaction would have triggered her and probably re-feed your own feelings. I understand this situation very well. You feel like she’s going to leave you and you freak out until you make it happen - I did this too. I only fixed things up and sorted myself out just as she left. A beautiful relationship wasted, she was avoidant but I definitely ruined things too, maybe more so.
If you genuinely catch her cheating, then that’s that. I only say all this because this is exactly how I acted, possessive and jealous, the first 2 years not at all, I was secure, then a dip in my self esteem and the last 1 year I was like this, jealous when she’s message a guy friend, jealous when she’s make plans without me - she’s not a slave and there isn’t many more things toxic than possessiveness and jealousy, my anxious behaviour literally feed her avoidant side, and she became busier, had less time and it got worse and worse. I regret not trusting her and not being able to handle my anxious side better, because before that we were perfect. She was always chatty and flirty, but I wasn’t concerned when was secure, all the guys loved her for sure… but I didn’t care, she wad mine and I knew she only had eyes for me - maybe our situations were a little different, I lost a genuine true love, it was at first sight too, hard to believe I somehow ruined something so important, reflection makes it all clear. I’m literally a week into the breakup too so I currently feel dead inside.
Anyway, all these angry anxious types on here, need to take some ownership for feeding their avoidant partners. Talking is hard with them, I know that, but a safe environment or trust means you can express needs and boundaries, not going to happen while you accuse her of cheating and acting jealous. Not trying to attack you, really attacking myself here.
Yeah, I was working in another place and travelled 900km a few times to meet her to try to repair the relationship but she said she was busy, didn't even have 1 hour to meet me, cancelled dates last minute. Told me to stop asking why, would not want to share her problems with me. I felt unwanted and useless. I gave her a deadline to find me back, because I want to get married next year. I couldn't go around banging my head against the wall. I invested time and money in this relationship. Its not bloody fair yeah, I think avoidants should burn in hell.
Are you a mountain person or a beach person?
I'm an avoidant who is in therapy, working on myself in an 8 week avoidant program. It's good to hear you speak on the various patterns of an avoidant personality, but I also feel that we avoidants NEED TO DO THE WORK! We cannot allow our patterns to keep creating these patterns of destruction. It's not easy. My journey is filled with emotional roller coaster to recognize my patterns and face myself. And most importantly, learn how to be mature in our relationship with the persons we say we love. Again, it's not easy, buy we need to do the work. Therapy. Men's groups. Learn how to stay grounded when we're in conflict with our partners, we need to grow as well so we can meet our partners at least half way.
@alexisfriedlander this is all very helpful information and its quite amazing how predictable and exactly exactly exactly like this they are. Text book accurate in every point. HOWEVER, why does it always have to be that the other partner has to always change or stop or accommodate the needs of the DA?! Avoid contact, avoid being anxious, build your own life, be secure.... Okay fine. BUT Why doesn't the DA ever accommodate what the other needs? ALL relationships need co-regulation, and this doesn't work if you always have to walk on egg shells with them, refrain from needing anything because "it's too much" for him. Fragile little baby, selfish and self-absorbed. Even if they wake up and decide to "come back", they will never fully be vulnerable, intimate, emotionally available... and you will always be on egg shells in fear of anything being difficult will drive them away. This is a selfish person who hasn't grown up. He should stay married to the comfort of his mother. GO FIND AN ACTUAL PARTNER.
Agree with this so much. I’m a person looking for an equal partner, not his mother. I’m searching for a partner, not someone who I’ll have to walk on eggshells for the rest of my life while trying to give them love and build a life.
In my view an avoidant needs to understand that the love they so deeply want comes with both good and bad emotions and communicating how they feel is key in finding a balance. Until they are willing to look at themselves, really look at themselves, they should just stay alone in that “peace” they so deeply crave.
Would be great to have a information video -for- DA:s so they can check and see if the recognize themselves but in a caution type of video.
Ok.. I have been in no contact with my ex for 7 weeks. I got ALL the typical DA's personality in the 7 months we were together ( as together as you can be with a DA ) This has been my time now to "process"
I'm such a happy go lucky guy.. This reason I cant let this go is she told me she had fallen in love with me andnit was the only time she had properly been inlove. The chemisty we had in the bedroom was on alnother level altogether for her. For me it was the only time I got sustained emotional substance from her. Who knows if she misses me now.. But I have a feeling she will be (at some point) . Unless it was so special!!.. Walk away and never look back.. But if it was love then consider reaching out.. Subtlety. Im a bit stuck in how to proceed. Better had than wish you had.
You have to distinguish if you are in love with her potential or in love with who she really turned out to be. It’s a very confronting and delicate question.
Thank you so much Alexis , I’ve watched a few videos on DA’s ( re: my ex ) who is coming back ! Your video resonated really well ! I’m a visual learner and your notes helped tremendously! Thank you so much 🙏🏾♥️
Have a look at what they are ? Dishonest, deceptive ect, who would want them back ? That’s not a relationship that’s narcissistic abuse
well i guess i already ruined my chance, I sent a long email calling her out for gaslighting me and sent a diatribe about how shes a fearful avoidant and that she needs to really look into itbecause its inredibly damaging to the people she cares about. guess that was too deep, i guess i need to cancel my appointment for tomorrow with elizabeth.
You look exactly like my dismissive avoidance ex. So interesting 🤔
Listen to me Kings, do not waste your time on these types. Life is already difficult and trying to deal with an avoidant is just going to lead to heartbreak. I literally got dumped two weeks ago to the day by an avoidant and it was a two month deal. I gave and gave and opened up and all I got in return was the initial love bomb and then cold and lack of texting and calling. I felt used and confused. I opened up two weeks ago and she said well you said a lot so this isn’t going to work. Stay away.
@MrReddington you are spot on. Sorry you had to go through all of that. I did too. Blindsided out of nowhere after a year. Planned a future together. One night, we just laughed and talked and it was all normal as we made dinner together but suddenly when we sat down, maybe 10 minutes later, he just said "I don't want to do this anymore." Wtf. I gave everything I had. I helped him move out of his apartment, took him to appointments, helped him with his kids, bought him a new bed, all sorts of stuff. I was his rock for support when he was depressed, gave him space when he needed it, and was always there when he needed me. I never asked for anything. I opened up myself completely and then in one damn instant it was like the entire thing never meant anything to him. It's f#@king exhausting and you feel so used. But you dodged a bullet, man. Imagine the mess if you'd married or had kids with her. Definitely stay away and find a woman who's willing to give as much as you give, work as hard as you work, and who knows what she wants and tells you exactly what she means when she says things. No wishy washy bullshit, no hot and cold. Just straightforward honest communication and the ability to balance give and take.
@@jesicastefanski7782 omg I am so so sorry that happened. After a year? That must’ve been heartbreaking and by the sounds of it you sound like an amazing woman. Any man would be lucky to have you. I’ll be honest she was a little bit of a rebound but I actually caught feelings since I was ghosted by an ex gf that I was with for 4 years in January. I’m not having good luck with the ladies this year lol.
I truly hope you meet someone that will love and care and treat you the way you deserve.
Also thank you for the words and for sharing.
@MrReddington 777 well damn, it's a shame we never met lol. You sound like a pretty awesome guy yourself, and I'm sure any woman would be lucky to have you. I'm sorry you went through all of that. It seems like genuine, caring people get taken advantage of too often and their kindness and willingness to give is misused. It's a damn shame, and it really makes it difficult to trust anyone again. I personally believe respect, reciprocation, and appreciation are the bare minimal requirements for any relationship but somehow these basic things just don't seem so common anymore, you know? But there are still good, genuine people out there. I truly hope you find a woman who respects, loves, and appreciates you the way you deserve. Thank you for your kind words. Good luck out there.
@@jesicastefanski7782 well damn you got me all blushing lol. Anywhere near NY? Lol
@mrreddington777 no, I'm in Illinois near Chicago. But I wouldn't mind chatting with you.
Wow! This has been so informative. So spot on!
Ex was avoidant with me, anxious with others. He spends inordinate amounts of time with his guy friends, no problem. Way less with us.
Think about this…if you have to study slides to learn to love someone…are they studying slides to learn how to love you too?
I'm sure some of them do.
This is helpful. Thank you!
It's interesting that you keep mentioning dating and relationships when most stronger swaying DAs are allergic to those words, but can outright tell you to your face that they like you or that what you have is special to them. Did you date? They denied defining it. Was it special to them? Yes. Will they be back? TBD.
Hello there. I have married apparently to an avoidant for 8 years. Six months ago she needed space, i became anxious and clingy. She means the world to me. We have been toguether for 14 years and have a 7 year okd boy who demands a lot of attention, its been six months and i did not know all that is in the video i just watched. I live in a separate home and just wish i had a chance at getting her back since she is such an amazing person. After 6 months i have only began working on no contact for a week maybe. Does this mean if i keep this up i have a fighting chance? Much respect and thanx for the info!
This was a great video thank you very much!
what does it mean when they dont even contact you in your birthday ? despite there is no conflict or pressure going on in relationship in fact it has been 2 or 3 weeks of no contact
Thank you 😊
What should I do when got blocked everywhere
You should do nothing! And if she comes around don’t jump into it but take it by the day and watch her actions. Words are pretty meaningless at this moment.
I accidentally said I’ll wait, how many months nc until it’s safe to break it
Don’t wait!
Why does the avoidant say there’s nothing to talk about yet still viewing my stories?
feeling their ego
magicaljspiritualist
magicaljspiritualist
magicaljspiritualist
❤️❤️
👏🏻👍thank You for your work!!! Very helpful information!!!