He is sending me sad messages about being sorry for stealing from me and cheating on me. He just wants to talk. This is after 3 months of discard over the Holidays!! I blocked him. Period. Not doing this anymore. 😊
It sucks. It really sucks when it turns out that the person you know, isn’t the person they led you to believe they were. But it’s almost validating and reassuring to know you are smart enough and value yourself enough to know when to walk away from a toxic person, like this.
Yep. I feel deeply sorry for his childhood, but I had to chose me. I come from a background of trauma too, I get it but I CHOSE not to allow my past to dictate my future ❤️
This is a great video. I did feel that way because I know his childhood. I spent 13 years trying to get him to understand and get help but refused so I had to give up too. I can't feel bad because he wouldn't do the work.
It occurs to me now that anytime I left someone, due to their crappy behavior, I always got a guilt trip from them- even years after the fact- despite the fact that these very same people would never feel a moment of guilt for having mistreated me.
This is REALLY IMPORTANT!! I don’t hear this articulated many places, definitely not so clearly and not in this way. - that the narcissist victim story is mostly a convenient lie. Most of us spend years and years and years and years - analyzing ‘how wounded’ the narcissist must be, their traumatic childhood etc.. Almost nowhere is explained what’s actually going on, that the wounding is not deeper than anyone else’s, they’ve just found a really effective way to manipulate us - to get what they want. Yes they may have learnt it in the family.. but it’s still a lie. And a lie that gets us to ignore our own often more serious wounding - to serve them and give them what they want. That’s how I now see it anyway, after loosing years of my life, thinking I was helping severely traumatized people - only to discover I am in fact the severely traumatized person and all those people I helped, were actually doing pretty good! My first time to see your channel. Thank you
I know this is long after your comment, but thinking this way is helping me. I had a traumatic childhood, yet I strive to be a kind human, and I have a lot of empathy, maybe more so because of what I went through.
Thank you so much for this! My mom is a narcissist and I often feel so sorry for her because of how lonely she is and how everyone has distanced themselves from her.
She's abused me physically, emotionally and financially. She smeared me, nearly pushed me off a building and I still pity her. She's now 30, unemployed and a single mom cos we separated before she had our baby cos she admitted to cheating to spite me. Despite this, I feel sorry for her. I feel her life is in a really bad state now.
Now i understand why he got so weird when had a Day off not contacting him.. He freaked Out! Now i see it was Just Supply from me & Id taken back my power & was focussing on me He felt it...Wow. Despite the fact weve never even met yet... As its a long distance Online dating thing. His response was sooo passive aggressive to me I walked. Forever.
I do feel sry for him. He did have a horrible childhood. But that wasn't my fault. He was always jealous of my kids. He walked out on all 5 of his own kids by 4 different mothers. I'm sorry for me to that I didnt see who he was and stayed so long. I love//hate him but I'll never give my kids up for anyone. And he always trying to get me away from them instead of being a dad. It was and will always be his loss, they gave up on him long before I did. The wasted money on porn and whores was my last straw I deserve to be happy. His life no longer concerns me.
Hi there, I would like to invite you to our free masterclass to learn how to break free from toxic relationship - go to www.rawmotivations.com/masterclass
I am going through the phase that I am really angry with the 'world' that I lost my relationship and man I loved to a personality disorder (my ex). I never thought that would be something I would have to go through in my life. Although of course when I go into it, I was co-dependant and didn't let go soon enough.....its a lot of anger without a 'target'.
I endured 29 years of abuse from my narcissist husband and have finally summoned the courage to say Enough. He is pulling out all the stops. This video was very helpful. Thank you for putting them out there.
@@lesb9613 Going through the full repertoire of moods, manipulations and threats, that have always worked before, in order to get me to do what he wants.
I feel sorry for her not because I want her back but because the odds are greatly against. She's unemployed, a single mom now cos she proudly admitted to cheating on me with her ex etc etc. And she's 29 years almost 30 years. In my part of the world, this kinda really really affects your value as a woman. I know she's going to still blame me but I wasn't the one cheating or having violent and physical outbursts.
i cant find myself to sympathize with them it fills like they found happiness in their backwards views and they have everything and im just the butt of the joke there truly is no just in this world 100%
It took me a long time to realize that my narcissist husband cares 0% about me, but cares 100% about what I can do for him.
Sometimes I feel sorry for a narcissist when I can get above their behaviour and I look at them as a "child" who can't see their own behaviour.
I’m beginning to realize unhealthy love is just attachment. Healthy love is care. Sooooo. Choose people you can care about that care about you too.
So true
Brilliant. Thanks
He is sending me sad messages about being sorry for stealing from me and cheating on me. He just wants to talk. This is after 3 months of discard over the Holidays!! I blocked him. Period. Not doing this anymore. 😊
It sucks. It really sucks when it turns out that the person you know, isn’t the person they led you to believe they were.
But it’s almost validating and reassuring to know you are smart enough and value yourself enough to know when to walk away from a toxic person, like this.
Good job!! You are strong and you deserve better!!!
Yep. I feel deeply sorry for his childhood, but I had to chose me. I come from a background of trauma too, I get it but I CHOSE not to allow my past to dictate my future ❤️
Same.
Amen
This is a great video. I did feel that way because I know his childhood. I spent 13 years trying to get him to understand and get help but refused so I had to give up too. I can't feel bad because he wouldn't do the work.
Sameee 😔 it’s just not possible if they don’t have the ability or humility to listen and get help. I also left.
It occurs to me now that anytime I left someone, due to their crappy behavior, I always got a guilt trip from them- even years after the fact- despite the fact that these very same people would never feel a moment of guilt for having mistreated me.
This is REALLY IMPORTANT!!
I don’t hear this articulated many places, definitely not so clearly and not in this way.
- that the narcissist victim story is mostly a convenient lie.
Most of us spend years and years and years and years - analyzing ‘how wounded’ the narcissist must be, their traumatic childhood etc..
Almost nowhere is explained what’s actually going on, that the wounding is not deeper than anyone else’s, they’ve just found a really effective way to manipulate us - to get what they want. Yes they may have learnt it in the family.. but it’s still a lie. And a lie that gets us to ignore our own often more serious wounding - to serve them and give them what they want.
That’s how I now see it anyway, after loosing years of my life, thinking I was helping severely traumatized people - only to discover I am in fact the severely traumatized person and all those people I helped, were actually doing pretty good!
My first time to see your channel.
Thank you
I know this is long after your comment, but thinking this way is helping me. I had a traumatic childhood, yet I strive to be a kind human, and I have a lot of empathy, maybe more so because of what I went through.
@@Viktorious13 💫
Thank you so much for this! My mom is a narcissist and I often feel so sorry for her because of how lonely she is and how everyone has distanced themselves from her.
I'm in the same position. It's so hard..
@@lv4984 🫂
She's abused me physically, emotionally and financially. She smeared me, nearly pushed me off a building and I still pity her. She's now 30, unemployed and a single mom cos we separated before she had our baby cos she admitted to cheating to spite me. Despite this, I feel sorry for her. I feel her life is in a really bad state now.
Now i understand why he got so weird when had a Day off not contacting him..
He freaked Out! Now i see it was Just Supply from me &
Id taken back my power & was focussing on me
He felt it...Wow.
Despite the fact weve never even met yet...
As its a long distance Online dating thing.
His response was sooo passive aggressive to me
I walked. Forever.
Your brutal honesty about yourself and everything is extremely helpful. Thank you.
Thank you Ben. I needed to hear this. You're a blessing.
I am ready to make a decision.
Be safe and never look back 🎉 I left mine for the hundredth time this morning but it is the LAST !!
We spent 43 years together between dating and marriage I have feelings for him.
I do feel sry for him. He did have a horrible childhood. But that wasn't my fault. He was always jealous of my kids. He walked out on all 5 of his own kids by 4 different mothers. I'm sorry for me to that I didnt see who he was and stayed so long. I love//hate him but I'll never give my kids up for anyone. And he always trying to get me away from them instead of being a dad. It was and will always be his loss, they gave up on him long before I did. The wasted money on porn and whores was my last straw I deserve to be happy. His life no longer concerns me.
Perfect timing for this video. I need to leave but feel helpless to actually leave
Hi there, I would like to invite you to our free masterclass to learn how to break free from toxic relationship - go to www.rawmotivations.com/masterclass
I am going through the phase that I am really angry with the 'world' that I lost my relationship and man I loved to a personality disorder (my ex). I never thought that would be something I would have to go through in my life. Although of course when I go into it, I was co-dependant and didn't let go soon enough.....its a lot of anger without a 'target'.
I endured 29 years of abuse from my narcissist husband and have finally summoned the courage to say Enough. He is pulling out all the stops. This video was very helpful. Thank you for putting them out there.
Reach out for help. Www.Rawmotivations.Com/breakthrough
What do you mean pulling out all the stops?
@@lesb9613 Going through the full repertoire of moods, manipulations and threats, that have always worked before, in order to get me to do what he wants.
I needed to hear this. Thank you for honesty.
I LOVED this Video!!! Thank you, Ben.
Another killer video. Thank you!!
NEVER feel sorry for them, ALWAYS remember the indescribable hatred, complete contempt and utter disgust you have for them.
I feel sorry for her not because I want her back but because the odds are greatly against. She's unemployed, a single mom now cos she proudly admitted to cheating on me with her ex etc etc. And she's 29 years almost 30 years. In my part of the world, this kinda really really affects your value as a woman. I know she's going to still blame me but I wasn't the one cheating or having violent and physical outbursts.
Thank you 🙏🏼
Perfectly said Ben.
Excellent message, Ben! ❤Needed to hear this!
i cant find myself to sympathize with them it fills like they found happiness in their backwards views and they have everything and im just the butt of the joke there truly is no just in this world 100%
But i dont love him im just afraid of the unknown
That's why people don't leave a lot of times
First, think of you! ❤
❤️
Skip to 2:18
Thanks
Were you born female
? No judgement