Writing down all my questions has helped me.. i can let the urge go to ask a question better when Iv written them somewhere like on my phone and I know they’re there and not going anywhere.. then im able to move on with my day easier thinking, ok, they’re written down let them go, I don’t need to ask these questions today… and I keep pushing day by day & forget most of them eventually. But the thing is when I spiral then I want to wip them out and have them all answered in one go🙈 The compulsions and waiting to ask for the reassurance is spot on Thank you for this advice so greatful for you! 🙏🏼
This crazy mental thing came to me now after 20 wonderful years of feeling her incondicional love towards me since day 1. She told everything about her past relationship and it never bothered for a second. But now, out of nowhere so many years later came this RJ that is killing me. I’m managing and doing the right thing Eva tell us to do. When I mentioned this to my wife her first reaction was that I was talking about people she hasn’t heard or think about in over 30 years. I know I’ll come out this stronger
I've found your channel by chance but I must admit I'm really growing into liking your contents. It's not just what you say, but the calmness, the warmth, the tenderness in your voice and attitude that makes what you say so relieving. I'm a guy from Italy, I'm 35, and I've been heavily suffering from RJ for a long time, but I haven't really ever decided to go to therapy and try to fix it, because the time between relationships where I was hit by RJ gave me the illusion that RJ was behind me. My English level is B2-C1 and I wonder if that could be ok to book an appointment with you, I'm really thinking about it. I'm also looking for a psychotherapist here in Italy (Milan) but the research process alone is so demanding and frustrating, because you see these many doctors who will all have their references and different approaches (gestalt, psychoanalytic, cognitive behavioral etc) and I really can't see through it. Anyway I hope you get this message.
My partner told me on our first date about an uncomfortable part of his sexual history and I’ve not stopped thinking about it since. I look back on what should be happiness in our relationship and it’s not it’s regret and sadness. It’s killing me. Every day I’m plagued with thoughts and images and questions comparing myself. I feel like he is who he is because of the person from his past which makes me feel like I can’t be with him because he “is the past” if that makes sense. Please can someone help me
To be fair to him, deserves a lot of credit for his honesty by telling you on the first date, I wish I had been shown such respect. You need to get out of the relationship now, don’t wait a moment longer. If you stay, you’ll never be happy and constantly in a world of pain, it will ruin your life. Believe me ‘I know’. Don’t make the mistake I made by staying and trying to make it work. After 43 years of torture and agony, so far, I can only long for the day I’ll be free, if you know what I mean. Please save yourself!
I really want to get a hold of this. I am absolutely happy and in love with my current girlfriend and have even talked about getting married someday. But, the RJ is driving me crazy because she has much more broad past than I do, with a lot of casual hookups and friends with benefits. I know it was before me and shouldn't matter, but it is driving me crazy.
What would you say if RJ makes you really depressed or even suicidal? I have a history of depression and anxiety. Feels like I am so much better on my own but the second i am in a relationship that’s it… I am really trying but I have more bad days than good ones, its so draining, it affects my health, mood..
I would recommend seeking help and working with someone one on one. We offer a discovery call, the link is in the description or maybe you prefer to work with a professional in your area, either way I recommend seeking help if this is how you feel.
Hi Eva, I am currently in a relationship with an amazing girl whom I really connect with on a deeper level. I want to address it immediately that I have a huge hsitory (way bigger than her) when it comes to relationships, partying, one night stands etc. The thing that bothers me is of course RJ, I can't stand the fact that she had some weird stories before me. It keeps destroying my humor and it makes me even wanna break up with her, which I believe is not a good idea. We are currently having a long distance relationship, hence I can't just let it go and enjoy the tme with her. What could I do to feel a bit less stressed about RJ? I am completely not afraid of the present situation, I am not jealous about "now" i am more disgused about the past. Thank you for the answer and keep up the good work!
Thank you for your comment! Start by educating yourself and working on the root cause. This varies depending on the individual. I have a webinar on how to do this, the link is in the description:)
One on One Sessions:
Book your one on one discovery call here: calendly.com/overcomingrelationshipanxiety/45min
😊ähnlich übrigens wie üäü😊😊😊
Writing down all my questions has helped me.. i can let the urge go to ask a question better when Iv written them somewhere like on my phone and I know they’re there and not going anywhere.. then im able to move on with my day easier thinking, ok, they’re written down let them go, I don’t need to ask these questions today… and I keep pushing day by day & forget most of them eventually. But the thing is when I spiral then I want to wip them out and have them all answered in one go🙈
The compulsions and waiting to ask for the reassurance is spot on
Thank you for this advice so greatful for you! 🙏🏼
eva you're such a blessing. thank you for making all these videos for free!
Thank you I’m so happy you find them helpful ❤️
This crazy mental thing came to me now after 20 wonderful years of feeling her incondicional love towards me since day 1. She told everything about her past relationship and it never bothered for a second. But now, out of nowhere so many years later came this RJ that is killing me. I’m managing and doing the right thing Eva tell us to do. When I mentioned this to my wife her first reaction was that I was talking about people she hasn’t heard or think about in over 30 years. I know I’ll come out this stronger
Thank you for this 💚
I am happy it helped:)
Thank you so much for making these videos, they are helping me a lot
I've found your channel by chance but I must admit I'm really growing into liking your contents. It's not just what you say, but the calmness, the warmth, the tenderness in your voice and attitude that makes what you say so relieving.
I'm a guy from Italy, I'm 35, and I've been heavily suffering from RJ for a long time, but I haven't really ever decided to go to therapy and try to fix it, because the time between relationships where I was hit by RJ gave me the illusion that RJ was behind me.
My English level is B2-C1 and I wonder if that could be ok to book an appointment with you, I'm really thinking about it.
I'm also looking for a psychotherapist here in Italy (Milan) but the research process alone is so demanding and frustrating, because you see these many doctors who will all have their references and different approaches (gestalt, psychoanalytic, cognitive behavioral etc) and I really can't see through it.
Anyway I hope you get this message.
Amazing explanation. Makes all my feelings make sense
So happy to read this! Thank you for your comment:)
My partner told me on our first date about an uncomfortable part of his sexual history and I’ve not stopped thinking about it since. I look back on what should be happiness in our relationship and it’s not it’s regret and sadness. It’s killing me. Every day I’m plagued with thoughts and images and questions comparing myself. I feel like he is who he is because of the person from his past which makes me feel like I can’t be with him because he “is the past” if that makes sense. Please can someone help me
To be fair to him, deserves a lot of credit for his honesty by telling you on the first date, I wish I had been shown such respect.
You need to get out of the relationship now, don’t wait a moment longer. If you stay, you’ll never be happy and constantly in a world of pain, it will ruin your life. Believe me ‘I know’. Don’t make the mistake I made by staying and trying to make it work.
After 43 years of torture and agony, so far, I can only long for the day I’ll be free, if you know what I mean.
Please save yourself!
I really want to get a hold of this. I am absolutely happy and in love with my current girlfriend and have even talked about getting married someday. But, the RJ is driving me crazy because she has much more broad past than I do, with a lot of casual hookups and friends with benefits. I know it was before me and shouldn't matter, but it is driving me crazy.
she is just a w*ore
The higher her partners, the lower her satisfaction in a marriage.
great breakdown , thanks
Thank you for the video and for your work Eva !
Thank you for your comment! It means a lot :)
What would you say if RJ makes you really depressed or even suicidal? I have a history of depression and anxiety. Feels like I am so much better on my own but the second i am in a relationship that’s it… I am really trying but I have more bad days than good ones, its so draining, it affects my health, mood..
I feel exactly the same way as you
I would recommend seeking help and working with someone one on one. We offer a discovery call, the link is in the description or maybe you prefer to work with a professional in your area, either way I recommend seeking help if this is how you feel.
Hi Eva, I am currently in a relationship with an amazing girl whom I really connect with on a deeper level. I want to address it immediately that I have a huge hsitory (way bigger than her) when it comes to relationships, partying, one night stands etc. The thing that bothers me is of course RJ, I can't stand the fact that she had some weird stories before me. It keeps destroying my humor and it makes me even wanna break up with her, which I believe is not a good idea. We are currently having a long distance relationship, hence I can't just let it go and enjoy the tme with her. What could I do to feel a bit less stressed about RJ? I am completely not afraid of the present situation, I am not jealous about "now" i am more disgused about the past. Thank you for the answer and keep up the good work!
Thank you for your comment! Start by educating yourself and working on the root cause. This varies depending on the individual. I have a webinar on how to do this, the link is in the description:)
what if my boyfriend feels like this too?
How does he feel?