Depression & Loneliness | Military Spouses
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- Опубликовано: 14 окт 2021
- Hey Spouses! Grab a snack and a drink! Today Im going to talk about depression, loneliness, and the effects it has had on me through Seans military career. I do still struggle with these on a daily basis so I wanted to give you a little glimpse into what it's like for me and how I get through it every day. Please remember depression looks different on everyone and never judge, you just never know what they might be going through at home. Remember to subscribe and like this video! You guys are absolutely amazing thank you for all your support! Even if it's just because Sean said so (yes I know) lol but all and any support is appreciated! Let's get these videos out for all my military spouses and all my mommas! Stay humble and remember God loves you!
☆ I N S T A G R A M ☆ - @kindness.and.grace
FNG A C A D E M Y - // / fngacademy
The mood swing really gets to me, crying like non-stop!
Words from the male side of it:
My wife has been in for 3 years. She's on her 2nd deployment now, and she's been on 2 TDYs in between. It's so wild cos the last time she left on a TDY, I felt fine. But this deployment feels like the first time when she left for boot camp. It doesn't help that her schedule is different than my work schedule, she's at work when I'm off work, when I wake up, she's getting off duty so we have like 4-5 hours to talk, which is fine, but even at work I find myself completely zoning out. Since i work by myself, I'll watch Netflix while working which helps me stay focused, but as soon as I get in the car on the ride home, it hits me. So, so hard. I make it to the kitchen and start crying. Don't forget, just because you're a man, doesn't mean it's bad to have emotions. A lot of us male spouses get forgotten about. But I'm with you, brothers.
Hell yeah brother! No one ever talks about the male side, it's helpful to know I'm not alone! I've cried almost everyday. It's so hard to go on living without being able to talk to her, especially when we were almost inseparable in our relationship before she left
It's interesting what you said about getting back the person you are dating. I completely relate to this. My husband is also former military and a police officer. They have so much baggage and they come home and take out their bad mood on you. Sometimes I wonder why do I put up with this? But then he goes on vacation and he instantly turns back into the man I dated. It's like they don't know how to deal with the high stress level and taking time off snaps them out of it. The only reason I put up with the irritated moods is because I made a commitment through my marriage vows and I know the person I married is still in there buried under the stress.
My partner is stationed in Bahrain and I’m regretting this relationship because of the distance. I told him I hate long distance, but we’re somehow still together. I’m a veteran with anxiety, depression, and PTSD, so being here without him is worse. None of the advice I’ve come across is helping me, not even my therapist is helpful. I hate this.
Same here. I feel like we’re growing apart because there are so many pauses in the marriage. Almost like we’re becoming akward around eachother. I’m not even sure if he still likes me anymore or if he is just committed to this as much as I am.
As a single dad that had my wife leave me and left my kids with my mom on my 1st deployment. I feel you about not knowing what depression is when it first hits. Life happens way to fast at times, but there is always another day. Thank you for this candid insight Pamela! You're appreciated! Keep on keeping on Sister!
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@At Home With Me How long were you guys together before you got married?
My husband and I were together three months before he proposed. Then married at the six month mark after the proposal. Immediately after the wedding, he is sent to Europe on an unaccompanied tour that he signed up for prior to meeting me.
So we just got married, AND we had a whirlwind romance. Now he is gone for a whole year and I'm so sad and depressed
My husband just left for boot camp he’s gonna be gone for 5 1/2 months and I’m so depressed. I feel like I have nobody and I’m physically sick and can’t stop crying. Im trying to remain positive but I feel like I can’t talk to anyone. Last night was my first night without him and I got barely an hour of sleep 😞
Im so sorry love I was there too, it’s awful. Please don’t be afraid to reach out to Facebook military community pages for support or research any ways to join and apply your free time with some hobbies, that helped a lot!!!
Thank you for making these videos. My boyfriend got sent on his first deployment at the end of March and the loneliness has been really tough. I don't have anyone who has dated in the military, so there's no one really for me to talk to, and I was feeling crazy guilty about being so sad. We're not married so I think I also don't have access to some of the support systems I might have if I was a spouse? However, it's just nice to know that others feel like this too
Absolutely, I think I felt it to the max and I was so sad and just so lonely, there are many of us and just know you aren’t alone!
Going through this right now with my husband in tech school it sucks so bad because I’m still dealing with the depression from when he first left now I get to talk to him but I’m having such a hard time but I don’t want to tell him because I don’t want to bother him smh 😞
I'm going through it, I'm Army vet, wife is Active Navy, she's away and will be for the most part of the next 3 year tour as she will do three 8 month deplyments.. I'm getting older, I dont do so well alone anymore. Being a male dependant as far as the Navy is concerned has little value over all, along with dealing with all the family, in there minds I'm just not adding up. Iv worked hard all my life adding now 12 years of Navy spouce life, it has really taken it too me mentally. What else is there to say., I'm sorry your going through it, it's not a happy way to do it and that's being completly honest. Iv baisically begged my wife to get out, not happening. Blessings sister.
More videos like this pleaseee
You are a good source of information, esp for the spouses that are deployed or going to be deployed, you should have been doing this when I was currently in, at that time, so keep up the good work, SEAN is a LUCKY MAN TO HAVE YOU
Thank you!!
Dope
Honor and respect to you young lady. Thank you for your honesty, it shows great integrity! Keep up the great work. Hope you are keeping GOD in you life, HE will help you through any struggles.
Agreed! He is always there! 🙏🏼🙌🏼
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Thank you for this video. Really needed to hear this. I’ve been depressed all day today because we got through BCT and so far AIT has been going so well. We’ve been able to FaceTime every night and text here and there and I felt so positive after the rough time that basic training was. But just this morning one of my husband’s DS mentioned his unit (that he’s not even in yet, or guaranteed to even be stationed at) deploys a lot to a certain country and I just started spiraling and have had trouble feeling motivated or happy today. I just can’t even bear the thought of not getting to be with him and live with him after all these long long months of training. I just don’t want to feel lonely and sad forever. I’m wishing and hoping he doesn’t get deployed but I also realize it happens to alot of people in the military.
Your video helped me feel less alone. Thank you 🙏🏼 🩵
Hey I know this is kind of deep video, but my boyfriend watches your husbands channel and saw you had one and recommended it to me. He plans on enlisting in March and I have a couple questions..:
1. How did you cope with worrying about him getting hurt or not coming back? My boyfriend plans on being Ranger which is pretty dangerous from what I've heard and I've been really struggling with the idea of him deploying and not coming back or having a life changing permanent injuries.
2. When in his military career did you get married? I've been debating on getting married before or after basic/schooling, but I want to be married before his first station. I've heard people plan their wedding while their spouse is away and it gives them something to do while they're away, but I feel like it would be hard to plan a wedding without an exact date (because the military is always up in the air). Also you talk about how you were young, and we'll both be 19 when he leaves for basic and I'm really worried my family won't support us getting married so young, but by then we'll have been together for 3 years. My friend who is like a sister got married when her boyfriend joined, that was about a year ago and now they're struggling because he got hurt and wouldn't reenlist and stopped working and their rent got raised so she's trying to do this by herself because he doesn't seem to be interested in helping. My mom kind of talks down on their relationship and I worry how she'll react because she always says how my friend threw her life away for him because she stopped going to college on her full ride because they were supposed to leave the country. I didn't originally want this life, he wanted to be a pilot and we had our 5 and 10 year plan set out, however he lost motivation for it and went straight for the military. When he told me this I cried everyday and I felt helpless because I told him for the last 2 years that if he joined it would be the end because it wasn't the life I wanted, but after going to his recruitment meeting, and the recruiter told me he could be gone for 3-4 years on his first station my first thought wasn't "this is the end" or "we have to break up" but rather "I'm going with him". And ever since I made this choice to accept this life and support him the tears have stopped and I've been at peace. I've never seen him be motivated like this before, he struggled through high school along with college, and he drug out his flight school and eventually dropped out because he felt like too many people were pressuring him to do it and it wasn't something he wanted, however he's chose this and I'm so happy to finally see him care about something and have so much passion towards something.
Most of the people in my family have gotten married between 18 and 25, however I feel like they will all see me the way my mom sees my friend, that I have this great future ahead of me and I'm throwing it all away for him. However, not that I think it will be, but if it does end up being a mistake and we have a falling out, at least it happened while I was young and not in my 30's or 40's where I feel like I wasted all this time. I plan on going into real estate, which I can do wherever and if I choose not to do it while he's out there, it'll always be here when we get back.
I know this is long, but I've been struggling with a lot of outside opinions and I don't really have many friends to talk to about this. I try to not talk to much to my mentioned above friend about this because I don't want to be insensitive to what's going on in her life in a very similar situation. I know you probably won't respond, but I would appreciate any advice you can give...
Natasha, I’m going to make a video on this, such amazing questions, you deserve to have some guidance. Thank you for being strong and honest. These are attributes that will play in your favor in the long run.