ABSOLUTELY.... there is a whole string of drop dead gorgeous, thin, successful women everywhere, but especially in Hollywood to prove that. Who's more beautiful (and thin) than Halle Barry, Anna Faris, Fergie, Jennifer Garner, Jennifer Lopez, Christina Aguilera, Mary J ... etc.. etc... etc.
I want to point something else out. Back when I was in the best shape of my life, my husband and I were going through a tough time. Now, I'm heavier, however, our marriage is in a much better place. So happiness and being full filled comes down to so much more than appearance.
thrilla72 That's not the case though. I had curves before. I'm overweight now and even though he tells me I'm beautiful, I know he does not prefer me at this weight. When you are in love with someone and truly care about them, you do t just walk away from them simply because their appearance isn't perfect.
I asked my husband to lose weight because his blood pressure was high. He’s a pilot and I didn’t want him to have to go on medication. He was unhappy in his own skin. It was affecting our relationship. I keep myself in shape because I want him to know I’m still INTERESTED! I don’t ever want him to look at another woman and think that maybe he could get somebody better than what he has at home. I want him to know that I appreciate him.
Tamar just needs her own show because she clearly loves to be the center of attention. And that’s not bad, everybody is not meant to have co hosts. It might just have to be one host
Ke'AmbriaLa'Trice what's not bad is to come to realization that you as a woman don't mesh well with other women, which means you may have to work on you a little. What is bad is to want attention in the way that she go after it that's bad that's a sign of insecurity and immaturity.
What you say! But who’s to say maybe the only women who can work with her must be women who are as outspoken as she is. She’s not the only woman on tv who loves to have her 2 cents put into each and every conversation. That’s why she would make a great host by herself unless some other women choose to speak their mind like she does.
Ke'AmbriaLa'Trice she's even this way with her sisters they can't get a word in edgewise unless they demand it without her over talking them you've seen it. I like Tamar but, you can't always want to prove your point or get the last word. a conversing is a dialogue between two people not one.
I think if you're genuinely worried your partner might leave because of outward appearance that ain't LOVE. I never want to be with a man that loves me because of my looks because once that's gone so is he! There's always a younger, sexier, tighter girl following behind so...love me for the person I chose to be, not the assets I was given.
There is a difference between you being completely indifferent to your appearance and your beauty fading due to age. I will not stay with a woman who suddenly gains 40lbs in a year and refuses to lose it. I will stay with a woman who takes care of herself, but beauty has since faded because of her age. Weight gain also strongly implies a lack of control and dignity, a personality trait that is also unattractive. Your beauty is what attracted me to you. If you decide to voluntarily discard it, I will discard you. If you don't like it, then that's good. I will no longer be around you, so you won't have to deal with it. I don't surround myself with people who lack dignity.
Liam Sunsinger what if she had a baby and just can't shake off the weight? Gaining weight can be an indicator of a health issues or other things like stress. Are you saying overweight people lack dignity and self restraint?? Your idea of love is very conditional and seems to lack empathy...
Deborah Adeyemi It’s about both looks and personality for most people, a combination of both. Just because looks matter doesnt mean youlli always be chasing the next best thing I doubt you would go for someone who is completely outwardly disgusting. So calm down SMH
Deborah Adeyemi if a person want to lose weight they will it’s honestly all up to a person. You can’t force anyone to change it’s up to them. But if it’s baby weight she gained I don’t think any man has the right to shame their wife for that. But if she didn’t have a baby and is just letting herself go and not making an effort than why stay. If you aren’t willing to making changes that will better you and your relationship than what’s the point.
Natalie Mahash EXACTLY!!! Ppl seem to miss that point!! Its like its impossible to have the mentality that yes you should want to "keep yourself attractive" for your mate but also keep in mind that ultimately if a person will cheat, that is a DECISION that person made PERIOD! Ppl can say what they want, please I don't feel like debating with nobody. Cheating is still a choice! Yea, folks will say it all day long about how "you not doing this or that can "CAUSE" someone to go looking elsewhere! Still at the end of the day men/women make a choice when they cheat! Marriage is a commitment! If you're not sure, not ready, having doubts, questioning yourself, just save yourself & the other person a lifetime of heartache & don't do it or get counseling/help if you're already married. Ijs
My husband has suggested that I go natural every time I complained about my hair for years. I always thought I would look like a boy. I was wrong. Going on year too natural and we both love it. As for the weight, I'm with Tamar. There's a nice way to say it and honestly I came to my husband who is very fit about me not liking my body. I asked him to help me and he told I didn't need it (might have been a nice lie lol) but agreed to and I'm looking good. We've also enjoyed working out with each other.
No no no women. Do Not Do anything for anybody. Please live your life, enjoy it, fear God and please Do what you really like, what makes you happy. If somebody has a problem with you , that is his business, period. Stop trying to "please" men. What is for you is "for you". You do not need to fight for it. We all unfortunately have only one life and why do we want to try so hart to please somebody who at the end of the day does not accept us for who we really are. How long are going to play that game and to be someone else? By the way Tamar is just an hypocrit because she tried for few years to be someone else in her marriage and where is she today? She shaved her hair. That is crazy , she should be the last person to give that kind of advice to women.
And be lonely 🤷🏾♂️. Don’t expect someone to go out their way for you if your not willing to do the same. I don’t mean to change yourself as a whole person. But you saying don’t do anything for anyone is bad advice for women leading them to an expectation that a man is go out his way to do everything to get a women but if your not willing to do anything for that man then you’ll end up alone.
Do it for your damn self. Because it starts from within and your partner can love you through it. It’s also important how it happened in the first place. Child birth? Sickness? Depression? These things take a lot of patience and self-love to get you out of it. To the partners that are watching this happen, love them but don’t force them. Doing something for yourself is a powerful thing!👍🏾
We all change though....what about when a man stops being romantic and thoughtful like he was in the beginning of the relationship?? How's a man going to be critical of a woman's looks, when he knows he's not the same person he once was either???
Jenny Eddins Yes, I could take it better, if this wasn´t so one sided and feel just an excuse. I think it´s nice if both parties more than anything try to stay healthy and attractive for themselves and maybe for each other. But life happens, people change, people have problems...You can´t own anyone. If guy leaves or cheats because of the looks, to me it says it was never true love. Good riddance for bad trash. I rather know it beforehand than be stuck with this kind of idiot.
Some of this advice is based on their relationships in the entertainment industry, and don't compare to realistic relationships in the average everyday world. And, there's a difference between telling someone what they need to do to their bodies in a relationship, and/or sitting them down and talking to them about it in a caring way. It also depends on if the relationship is in a dating stage, or if it's a professed long term and clarified committed relationship, life partner, marriage where both are in love with one another. Selfishness for being pleased on superficial aspects in a partner should not be encouraged, and can be confused as priority in a relationship. There's also a HUGE difference between being concerned of someone's health, and just wanting someone to look a certain way to please you. You should match yourself with someone who wants to take care of themselves, and you want to learn how to take care of them anyway.
sugabutterfly87 well look st Tamar and her sisters , they all have had fup marriages partners so advice from them is helpful to know I feel it might not play out as their lives but same factor in end .
monkeyluv Because Tamar and her sisters had/have f'd up marriages/marriage partners, I wouldn't listen to/take heed to her advice nor would I refer anyone to her advice on this topic. I stand behind my perspective, yet I get the point you're trying to make. Tamar's only speaking from her emotions and relationship damage...not wisdom from lessons learned in healthy relationships, and Steve Harvey made a bad attempt at trying to back her up. Again, they are both people speaking from a position of marriage and relationships in celebrity world forgetting their experiences of such don't apply to their audience. Just poor unrealistic relationship advice in this video all around.
Tamar is too much! Shut up and let people talk! Everytime someone has their opinion on something she doesn't agree with she yells lies and doesn't let them finish.
Essence D Yea she was kinda the same on The Real. Heck, this is the reason I had a love hate relationship with her. Sometimes she would have a good point and really add to the conversation but the minute someone said something she disagreed with it was just LIES LIES LIES!!! And she would make all those rude faces and shake her head no . . . it was childish.
Steve quit with that bs that "us men are visual people" as if women are blind! I work as a graphic designer, I AM a visual woman, where are my 6-pack at bruh?
👏👏👏thank you! i always roll my eyes whenever someone says that. why are we acting like women don't appreciate a man who puts an effort in their appearance
Yeah but it should go both ways..as if men are the only ones that can feel that way. I’ve seen way more men “let themselves go,” over the years than women.
My husband can't tell me what I don't already know. Tamar was right. You already know when you're slipping. Having said that...the love in my marriage is deep. I'm not about to leave my husband just because of an extra 40 or 50 pounds. I've struggled with my weight after having kids and it had not affected my husband's attraction for me. However, I am working to lose the weight so that I can feel better about myself. At the end of the day, putting on some extra weight shouldn't be enough to end a relationship if you're truly in love.
You don't need to change your looks in order to please your man. If your partner really loves you, he will accept everything about you. Also, I agree that you must continue changing for yourself not for everyone.
Right? He usually gives good relationship advice. Maybe he meant if you just completely let yourself go and you don't even attempt to look nice for your man anymore....and you're always looking like a slob. I can see a man maybe having a wondering eye, but he should never act on it. A real man would also notice that if his wife has let herself go that bad, maybe there's something deeper going on with her. There are ways he can help her and encourage her to feel better about herself, and then the rest can fall into place. It's not just "her" problem, it's THEIR problem.
Men are shallow! Sorry! Whether they admit or not. Some men will lie to a woman to spare her feelings and so that he doesn't seem shallow, but rest assured, men are VERY visual creatures.
Inspiration Station But I think women are just as visual. I like to look at nice looking things too. But if a man stops loving his wife because she put on a few pounds, I doubt he really loved her to begin with.
I do believe that there is a certain health concern if weight gets out of hand. However, if that wasn't the case, I would never ask a woman to lose weight for me. On the other note, if I happened to start gaining weight, I would want her to point it out.
My husband believes we BOTH need to lose weight and that is because we are BOTH overweight. Theres a difference between wanting your partner to look good versus wanting the best health for your partner. We arent forcing each other to lose weight nor threatening divorce, however, we are encouraging each other to make different lifestyle choices so that we can be healthy and live a long, happy marriage together :)
I wouldnt want to deal with a man who tells me to change my looks just to physically pls him. I would want him to tell me to lose weight for health reasons. Blessed to say i have a man like that. I have high cholesterol and he doesnt want me to die yet, im only 30 lol. And vice versa. If a man tells me to lose weight because im ugly to him, hellll nooo that man is out of my life.
I understand having physical preferences but she was also crying at the hospital over his health scares related to his weight. Can't have it both ways.
For all the women saying to not lose weight for their man, was it wrong of Gordon Ramsey's wife to ask that of him? I personally think that there's no better person to ask and encourage you to change for the better than your spouse. But it's also important in how they ask. There's a big difference between "lose 20 lbs or I'm leaving you!" and "I think we need to get in better shape. What ideas do you have on how we could do that? Would you exercise with me? What changes would you be willing to make for us to reach that goal?"
For us men if we like you the first time thats the way we want you to look all the time.we hate when behaviour and look change.but we can deal with any slow change like some extra weight here and there even the change with age we like that our girl turning to more mature look and mindset.but any quick change that not natural like getting boob don or buttlift of face we not big fan of it.we like when a women is healthy eating well and doing sport to be the best version of herself sad part not lot of people have.
I don't usually cuss but WTF kind of bs was Steve talking about at the end?!? "if you decided not to wear make up no more, that ain't got nothing to do with what we like. If I got to look for it outside of my house then om gon go outside of my house"?!?!? So rather cheat than just leave if you're dissatisfied and that doesn't make you bad? Shut all the way up. This whole panel needs Iyanla.
I would NOT change my look for my partner or ANYONE. If they dion't like what they see when they meet me than they should keep it moving. I was born into this world without them and I can live in it without them.
women have so much pressure in society...trust that we dont need nobody especially no man telling us if we need to lose weight, we already KNOW if we do, trust nobody is better at zooming in on their flaws than a woman. its just rude and hurtful to comment without being asked.
Can’t agree with you. If you can’t be communicate and be real with your wife the love ain’t that deep. You should be be able to say to your wife in a non offensive way that she should lose weight. Of course she’s gonna know because anyone should know that they gain weight when they put pants on one day and it doesn’t fit or they put their shirt on and it’s too tight. But some people needs to be called out or check and needs support to push themselves to do stuff. If I was to gain weight I would like to know and if she wanted me to lose it I’d like to know as well. It’s not a major sacrifice to lose weight. But you saying no man shouldn’t tell their women how they feel that’s not a good relationship. It should be both ways equally
I would absolutely take it into consideration. As long is it's not an over the top request its asked for respectfully (not demanded) and it aligns with my own vision, I wouldn't have a problem.
I want my future husband to be honest with me. If I gain way to much weight best way to help me is being honest with me and offer to help me in the journey
Only women have a responsibility towards their partner? What about men? They don’t have to reciprocate it? A relationship is not a one way street. One should never feel the need to change who and what they are to please someone else. A loving partner would accept and appreciate you as you are and encourage you to be the best version of yourself. If a man wants to be with you he will and if he gonna bounce he gon bounce sis. It’s not your responsibility to keep him there.
TRASH ADVICE!!! Do not live your life trying to please your mate. You should always be comfortable in the body you're in. The only time to talk about lifestyle changes is when it can medically harm you. If they want to leave a marriage cause you're not "cute" enough for RUN do not walk out.
For real. I can't stand that some men feel like as women we are *obligated* to wear makeup, do our hair a certain way, etc. Like, why do you get to feel comfortable in your natural skin, but I don't? Miss me with that. I'm so glad that my bf tells me all the time how beautiful he thinks I am on a daily basis whether I wear makeup or not, whether my hair is done or not, etc. Most days I just don't have the time or energy to bother with makeup, and I work in a warehouse setting, so there's really no need to wear it daily, and my skin has improved SO much...I kind of like that when I *do* wear it, it feels more special, like I'm really looking my *best* for date nights or whatever. Can't imagine having a man that is so concerned and uptight with my beauty choices.
yedaperry No most men don’t feel women are obligated to wear makeup. Most rather they don’t so they know what they’re getting into. I honestly don’t mind if a girl doesn’t wear make up it shows she has natural beauty.Women opt in to wearing makeup because its their choice. A lot of them I see wear it when they go out everyday and completely look different when they don’t wear it because you only see them with makeup on you’ve become accustomed to that look. I rather someone be comfortable with they natural skin and glad that you and your boyfriend are happy with you being if your natural skin. But I assure you I’m sure guys rather see women with out their make up because I’ve seen what makeup does to a women and it can change them to a completely different person
Sometimes my man tells me to dress differently sometimes, try new styles and I’m glad he can help me step out of my comfort zone. It’s a win win situation. Because if I’m in a relationship, the only person I’m more focused on to impress when it comes to what I wear or whatever it is, is myself and my man.
I think it's weird to get into a relationship then ask someone to change themselves and I think it's horrible to put that on the women that you have to "be what your man wants" 100% or hes going to leave like thats so weird to me
If you have to morph your apperance to be accepted by your mate. He or She may not be the best person. Your apperance will change over time, you will age, if your loyalty is based on superficial attributes your doomed anyway thus Tamar now being divorced and cutting her hair. Feeling finally free to be yourself. You should be able to be yourself with partner
Not everything though. Like change your hair color or eye color like come on if you have a wife with brown hair and eyes, would you tell her to change to blonde hair and blue eyes? Nope you wouldn't.
The 1 And only KK that is true as well but as women we are queens because of our strength are beauty. I say it because it is facts women are queens lol we dont need a king to be a Queen there were many female rulers who never had a king beside them but still got things done lol.
Even if you do lose weight that dont mean he won't leave you. So thinking like that kinda scares me and I don't feel like you should be telling younger adults this foolish stuff about "keeping in shape for your man". If he loved you like when he first met you he will love you ever after you gained some weight. If your physical appearance matters so much that he would divorce you then that relationship wasn't going anywhere in the first place.
What if I went through a phase in life (got hurt) and it made me look or act different? My husband tells me to change or else he’ll leave? GTFOH What happen to loving your partner for better or for worse? I’m starting to believe the only unconditional love is the one you have for yourself or for children.
Losing weight is not only about looking attractive but also about being healthy. If you're overweight, you must listen to him and if not then just leave him cause he'll always point out flaws in you.
The funniest thing is recently a guy posted a video about his wife being fat, and that he is not attracted to her anymore, so she should lose weight, and twitter went wild
Tamar has been giving me LIFE on Steve Harvey these past few weeks. I cannot WAIT for her own show. Honestly disagree with the hate and all the "what's wrong with Tamar?" acting like she hasn't ALWAYS been THIS outspoken in the past lol.
That's a load of lies. Tamar wasn't blond when she married him, she wasn't blonde when BFV first started, she only just started wearing those blonde weaves after she got famous from BFV. Even Vince pointed out to Tamar, "if I wanted that why would I marry you."
Like Steve said.As men,we are visual.We like eye candy.It about your whole everything.Looks and attitude.Not one in the comment section acknowledged what he said about what us men like or attracted to.Ladies ,if you want to attract a man.Kniw what men like.If you want a certain caliber of man.Understand what it takes to get him.
Advocating cheating because your spouse doesn't wear makeup is not exactly correct Steve. I think if a woman won't wear makeup for example when her husband loves a little makeup is wrong. She's saying she doesn't want you. Women are the keepers of beauty period. They should always strive to be the best they can be. That does not mean more money. Natural hair, a gym membership, glowing skin and a little makeup goes ALL the way home!
If you love your partner you will change, if you love your partner you won’t ask them to change. It’s a bit of a paradox but you still need to communicate with them that your unhappy about something. Just as long as you don’t then sit there expecting them to change.
But what's crazy is, when ur man MET u wearing make up, liked u so much then, but then tries to tell u he doesn't like u to wear it, so unless u stop he can't be with u, huh?????? OH, AND met u when u were thin, ur older now, now he's into larger women, so he wants u to be thicker, but ur not and don't want to be fat, so u tell him no. I don't want to be fat with no make up on. That's nothin but control, boy bye!
It's not necessarily about the fact that you tell your partner that you want them to lose wait. It's about whether or not you drop that bombshell and then leave them in it. As for me, don't tell me I'm looking a certain way when your not willing to walk this journey with me. Suggest going for a walk every night after dinner so that we both can exercise. Matter of fact, how about you make the dinner tonight and then you control what ingredients are put in; make me a healthy cuisine. If we're married and you just comment about my weight-gain...ooh, boy, you're in for a rough ride. That's not helping anyone. The one thing I would ask of my partner is that he tries to get me active before he starts the whole: "You're gaining weight." Don't start saying things that could harm your relationship without a back-up plan on how you can work through this together. Besides, what if my view of what a healthy weight looks like differs from his? Then we'd really have issues.
It depends.if you're too overweight,or underweight,then encouraging healthier habits is good.if they dress inappropriately,maybe guiding them is good. It really depends on the situation,and exactly what change you mean.would I get cosmetic surgery for a mate? No. If my husband says he's concerned that I've lost or gained too much weight,okay.if it comes from love and concern,then,no issue.
Depends how they say it and where there heart is. Same with everything in life, it's not what you say or don't say that matters, it's what your attitude is and whether you're coming from a pure heart.
Stay current for YOU! If that man wants to leave he will, no matter how skinny you are!
Tedra Daigre Amen
Thatz not true
ABSOLUTELY.... there is a whole string of drop dead gorgeous, thin, successful women everywhere, but especially in Hollywood to prove that. Who's more beautiful (and thin) than Halle Barry, Anna Faris, Fergie, Jennifer Garner, Jennifer Lopez, Christina Aguilera, Mary J ... etc.. etc... etc.
I think Keri Hilson said it best I want you stay as close to what you were when we meet.
blessbeloved Maybe their attitudes and/or communication skills aren't the best...
I want to point something else out. Back when I was in the best shape of my life, my husband and I were going through a tough time. Now, I'm heavier, however, our marriage is in a much better place. So happiness and being full filled comes down to so much more than appearance.
Jenny Eddins girl it depends on the man ...each man is different...u just lucked up and got a good one😁😁
I want a man that loves me beyond my appearance for real cuz all that will change eventually
Arleshia Goodman
Sure will I'm keep watching all these plastic lady's cause I want to see what it really looks like old 😂
For all we know he could just prefer you with a little more weight and curve on you. Being slim isn't ideal for everybody.
thrilla72 That's not the case though. I had curves before. I'm overweight now and even though he tells me I'm beautiful, I know he does not prefer me at this weight. When you are in love with someone and truly care about them, you do t just walk away from them simply because their appearance isn't perfect.
It's crazy that Tamar felt she should change for Vince, but Vince isn't exactly Idris or Shamar his damn self.
Fit2BJustMe LOL
He has money and connections
well she wanted to be a star and he is a successful songwriter, record producer, and record executive sooooo yea...
But her sister toni is a big connection to the industry
👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿
I asked my husband to lose weight because his blood pressure was high. He’s a pilot and I didn’t want him to have to go on medication. He was unhappy in his own skin. It was affecting our relationship. I keep myself in shape because I want him to know I’m still INTERESTED! I don’t ever want him to look at another woman and think that maybe he could get somebody better than what he has at home. I want him to know that I appreciate him.
Tieia Middleton That's a good thing RIGHT
Tieia Middleton ..... amen to that!!👏
Angelisa Hassan 🙄😏
Sooooooo Tamar is basically saying Vince likes white women. Fair skin and blonde hair? Yup that's what he likes.
Fit2BJustMe My question is why did he marry her?
Tamar is so loud! Quiet confidence...Believe in the power of your words not your volume...#fan
Her being loud I feel is a lack of confidence. She has to be seen and heard over everyone else to feel good about herself.
Tamar just needs her own show because she clearly loves to be the center of attention. And that’s not bad, everybody is not meant to have co hosts. It might just have to be one host
Ke'AmbriaLa'Trice true. I think she needs a Wendy type show. Not as the gossip queen but more of she's the only voice.
Exactly my thoughts... She should take over for Wendy Williams 👌🏼
Ke'AmbriaLa'Trice what's not bad is to come to realization that you as a woman don't mesh well with other women, which means you may have to work on you a little. What is bad is to want attention in the way that she go after it that's bad that's a sign of insecurity and immaturity.
What you say! But who’s to say maybe the only women who can work with her must be women who are as outspoken as she is. She’s not the only woman on tv who loves to have her 2 cents put into each and every conversation. That’s why she would make a great host by herself unless some other women choose to speak their mind like she does.
Ke'AmbriaLa'Trice she's even this way with her sisters they can't get a word in edgewise unless they demand it without her over talking them you've seen it. I like Tamar but, you can't always want to prove your point or get the last word. a conversing is a dialogue between two people not one.
The blonde wig thing is too much.
I think if you're genuinely worried your partner might leave because of outward appearance that ain't LOVE. I never want to be with a man that loves me because of my looks because once that's gone so is he! There's always a younger, sexier, tighter girl following behind so...love me for the person I chose to be, not the assets I was given.
There is a difference between you being completely indifferent to your appearance and your beauty fading due to age. I will not stay with a woman who suddenly gains 40lbs in a year and refuses to lose it. I will stay with a woman who takes care of herself, but beauty has since faded because of her age.
Weight gain also strongly implies a lack of control and dignity, a personality trait that is also unattractive.
Your beauty is what attracted me to you. If you decide to voluntarily discard it, I will discard you. If you don't like it, then that's good. I will no longer be around you, so you won't have to deal with it. I don't surround myself with people who lack dignity.
Liam Sunsinger what if she had a baby and just can't shake off the weight? Gaining weight can be an indicator of a health issues or other things like stress. Are you saying overweight people lack dignity and self restraint??
Your idea of love is very conditional and seems to lack empathy...
@@Da-Bor-ah girl..
I agree with both statements.
Deborah Adeyemi It’s about both looks and personality for most people, a combination of both. Just because looks matter doesnt mean youlli always be chasing the next best thing
I doubt you would go for someone who is completely outwardly disgusting.
So calm down SMH
Deborah Adeyemi if a person want to lose weight they will it’s honestly all up to a person. You can’t force anyone to change it’s up to them. But if it’s baby weight she gained I don’t think any man has the right to shame their wife for that. But if she didn’t have a baby and is just letting herself go and not making an effort than why stay. If you aren’t willing to making changes that will better you and your relationship than what’s the point.
You can make changes to please your man and he'll still bounce. The world we live in
Natalie Mahash EXACTLY!!! Ppl seem to miss that point!! Its like its impossible to have the mentality that yes you should want to "keep yourself attractive" for your mate but also keep in mind that ultimately if a person will cheat, that is a DECISION that person made PERIOD! Ppl can say what they want, please I don't feel like debating with nobody. Cheating is still a choice! Yea, folks will say it all day long about how "you not doing this or that can "CAUSE" someone to go looking elsewhere! Still at the end of the day men/women make a choice when they cheat! Marriage is a commitment! If you're not sure, not ready, having doubts, questioning yourself, just save yourself & the other person a lifetime of heartache & don't do it or get counseling/help if you're already married. Ijs
Natalie Mahash So damn true.
You’re damn right!
agreed
OMW exactly! these fools are so not appreciative, well some of the men.
My husband has suggested that I go natural every time I complained about my hair for years. I always thought I would look like a boy. I was wrong. Going on year too natural and we both love it. As for the weight, I'm with Tamar. There's a nice way to say it and honestly I came to my husband who is very fit about me not liking my body. I asked him to help me and he told I didn't need it (might have been a nice lie lol) but agreed to and I'm looking good. We've also enjoyed working out with each other.
Tamar out here looking like she auditioning for Black Panther 2
Ideal Queen 🤣
No no no women. Do Not Do anything for anybody. Please live your life, enjoy it, fear God and please Do what you really like, what makes you happy. If somebody has a problem with you , that is his business, period. Stop trying to "please" men. What is for you is "for you". You do not need to fight for it. We all unfortunately have only one life and why do we want to try so hart to please somebody who at the end of the day does not accept us for who we really are. How long are going to play that game and to be someone else? By the way Tamar is just an hypocrit because she tried for few years to be someone else in her marriage and where is she today? She shaved her hair. That is crazy , she should be the last person to give that kind of advice to women.
Thank YOU!!! Do things for you, if it's something you both want great, but never try and be something you're not.
And be lonely 🤷🏾♂️. Don’t expect someone to go out their way for you if your not willing to do the same. I don’t mean to change yourself as a whole person. But you saying don’t do anything for anyone is bad advice for women leading them to an expectation that a man is go out his way to do everything to get a women but if your not willing to do anything for that man then you’ll end up alone.
@@lovexoxo251 Did it ever occur to you that marriage is a triumph of compromise?
Marriage is a triumph of compromise??? That explains why they always come up out of it fatter and less attractive.
Do it for your damn self. Because it starts from within and your partner can love you through it. It’s also important how it happened in the first place. Child birth? Sickness? Depression? These things take a lot of patience and self-love to get you out of it. To the partners that are watching this happen, love them but don’t force them. Doing something for yourself is a powerful thing!👍🏾
We all change though....what about when a man stops being romantic and thoughtful like he was in the beginning of the relationship?? How's a man going to be critical of a woman's looks, when he knows he's not the same person he once was either???
Jenny Eddins
Yes, I could take it better, if this wasn´t so one sided and feel just an excuse. I think it´s nice if both parties more than anything try to stay healthy and attractive for themselves and maybe for each other. But life happens, people change, people have problems...You can´t own anyone. If guy leaves or cheats because of the looks, to me it says it was never true love. Good riddance for bad trash. I rather know it beforehand than be stuck with this kind of idiot.
No why didn't the real give miss Keri a guesthost spot.....I am feeling her energy.So eloquent and confident.
Tamar just look to be wanting all the attention. Attention seeking.org
Some of this advice is based on their relationships in the entertainment industry, and don't compare to realistic relationships in the average everyday world. And, there's a difference between telling someone what they need to do to their bodies in a relationship, and/or sitting them down and talking to them about it in a caring way. It also depends on if the relationship is in a dating stage, or if it's a professed long term and clarified committed relationship, life partner, marriage where both are in love with one another. Selfishness for being pleased on superficial aspects in a partner should not be encouraged, and can be confused as priority in a relationship. There's also a HUGE difference between being concerned of someone's health, and just wanting someone to look a certain way to please you. You should match yourself with someone who wants to take care of themselves, and you want to learn how to take care of them anyway.
sugabutterfly87 well look st Tamar and her sisters , they all have had fup marriages partners so advice from them is helpful to know I feel it might not play out as their lives but same factor in end .
monkeyluv Because Tamar and her sisters had/have f'd up marriages/marriage partners, I wouldn't listen to/take heed to her advice nor would I refer anyone to her advice on this topic. I stand behind my perspective, yet I get the point you're trying to make. Tamar's only speaking from her emotions and relationship damage...not wisdom from lessons learned in healthy relationships, and Steve Harvey made a bad attempt at trying to back her up. Again, they are both people speaking from a position of marriage and relationships in celebrity world forgetting their experiences of such don't apply to their audience. Just poor unrealistic relationship advice in this video all around.
I’m glad these ladies are spunky but they’re talking over each other!!
Tamar is too much! Shut up and let people talk! Everytime someone has their opinion on something she doesn't agree with she yells lies and doesn't let them finish.
Essence D Yea she was kinda the same on The Real. Heck, this is the reason I had a love hate relationship with her. Sometimes she would have a good point and really add to the conversation but the minute someone said something she disagreed with it was just LIES LIES LIES!!! And she would make all those rude faces and shake her head no . . . it was childish.
Dee Dee exactly. I thought she would've learned from her mistakes on The Real
"My husband keeps asking me to change my attitude but that's not happening so..." She's the best🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Steve quit with that bs that "us men are visual people" as if women are blind! I work as a graphic designer, I AM a visual woman, where are my 6-pack at bruh?
👏👏👏thank you! i always roll my eyes whenever someone says that. why are we acting like women don't appreciate a man who puts an effort in their appearance
purpletangish Exactly.. A relationship is a 2 way street. Why is that too hard to fathom?
Stop blaming steve when its those female panels and the female crowd that raised the issue.
@@wb8695 when did he say it wasn't? He literally said he would lose weight for his significant other.
Tamar has a point! Hell she has several point's.
yes and everyone else can take Several Seats!
Lisa Bolden If changing yourself to have a man is a point.
Yeah but it should go both ways..as if men are the only ones that can feel that way. I’ve seen way more men “let themselves go,” over the years than women.
My husband can't tell me what I don't already know. Tamar was right. You already know when you're slipping.
Having said that...the love in my marriage is deep. I'm not about to leave my husband just because of an extra 40 or 50 pounds. I've struggled with my weight after having kids and it had not affected my husband's attraction for me. However, I am working to lose the weight so that I can feel better about myself.
At the end of the day, putting on some extra weight shouldn't be enough to end a relationship if you're truly in love.
You don't need to change your looks in order to please your man. If your partner really loves you, he will accept everything about you. Also, I agree that you must continue changing for yourself not for everyone.
Keri Hilson needs her own show. Jmo
Carla Don't she though.
I disagree with what steve said in the end, i don't want a man that is that freaking shallow....
exactly
Right? He usually gives good relationship advice. Maybe he meant if you just completely let yourself go and you don't even attempt to look nice for your man anymore....and you're always looking like a slob. I can see a man maybe having a wondering eye, but he should never act on it.
A real man would also notice that if his wife has let herself go that bad, maybe there's something deeper going on with her. There are ways he can help her and encourage her to feel better about herself, and then the rest can fall into place. It's not just "her" problem, it's THEIR problem.
Men are shallow! Sorry! Whether they admit or not. Some men will lie to a woman to spare her feelings and so that he doesn't seem shallow, but rest assured, men are VERY visual creatures.
Inspiration Station But I think women are just as visual. I like to look at nice looking things too. But if a man stops loving his wife because she put on a few pounds, I doubt he really loved her to begin with.
Right because I feel beautiful with or without makeup, that's just dumb. A man should like you either way.
Im so happy we dont have to see those blonde wigs anymore yasss gawd !!!!
*_What?!! I thought she looked so pretty as a blonde!! I thought it fit her well.._* 🤷🏻♀️
Keri is slaying
I do believe that there is a certain health concern if weight gets out of hand. However, if that wasn't the case, I would never ask a woman to lose weight for me. On the other note, if I happened to start gaining weight, I would want her to point it out.
Tamar resembles magic johnson's son EJ
shaneldior lol!!!!
This is why tamar got fired from the real.She don't know how to act.
You should do your research. Tamar got fired cause her stupid manager
Tamer be yourself but stop being so loud !!! Stop over talking everyone
V Tara She can't.
V Tara this is why she was fired from The Real
She is being herself lol this is her in a nutshell loud and all 🤣
"Lookin a hotmess.org"
"Let's go on a fast hallelujah for the Lord."
😂😂😂 Love Tamer
My husband believes we BOTH need to lose weight and that is because we are BOTH overweight. Theres a difference between wanting your partner to look good versus wanting the best health for your partner. We arent forcing each other to lose weight nor threatening divorce, however, we are encouraging each other to make different lifestyle choices so that we can be healthy and live a long, happy marriage together :)
I wouldnt want to deal with a man who tells me to change my looks just to physically pls him. I would want him to tell me to lose weight for health reasons. Blessed to say i have a man like that. I have high cholesterol and he doesnt want me to die yet, im only 30 lol. And vice versa. If a man tells me to lose weight because im ugly to him, hellll nooo that man is out of my life.
??she was getting up set when Vince lost weight.
mona lee Hear! Hear!
Yep! Cause what she liked was a heavier man and that's what he was when she met him
She didn't want him to get sexy and leave her. So yea, insecurities.
I understand having physical preferences but she was also crying at the hospital over his health scares related to his weight. Can't have it both ways.
mona lee YUP
For all the women saying to not lose weight for their man, was it wrong of Gordon Ramsey's wife to ask that of him? I personally think that there's no better person to ask and encourage you to change for the better than your spouse. But it's also important in how they ask. There's a big difference between "lose 20 lbs or I'm leaving you!" and "I think we need to get in better shape. What ideas do you have on how we could do that? Would you exercise with me? What changes would you be willing to make for us to reach that goal?"
Is this the show tamar was raving about on insta from steve harvey? I thought he was giving her her OWN show?
wanderer thought the same 😂😂😂
Me too
For us men if we like you the first time thats the way we want you to look all the time.we hate when behaviour and look change.but we can deal with any slow change like some extra weight here and there even the change with age we like that our girl turning to more mature look and mindset.but any quick change that not natural like getting boob don or buttlift of face we not big fan of it.we like when a women is healthy eating well and doing sport to be the best version of herself sad part not lot of people have.
I don't usually cuss but WTF kind of bs was Steve talking about at the end?!? "if you decided not to wear make up no more, that ain't got nothing to do with what we like. If I got to look for it outside of my house then om gon go outside of my house"?!?!? So rather cheat than just leave if you're dissatisfied and that doesn't make you bad? Shut all the way up. This whole panel needs Iyanla.
I would NOT change my look for my partner or ANYONE. If they dion't like what they see when they meet me than they should keep it moving. I was born into this world without them and I can live in it without them.
I agreed with Tamar until the blonde wig statement. I’m not finna be something I’m not for someone else.
women have so much pressure in society...trust that we dont need nobody especially no man telling us if we need to lose weight, we already KNOW if we do, trust nobody is better at zooming in on their flaws than a woman. its just rude and hurtful to comment without being asked.
ilikemonkeys if he not attracted no more cause his mate got fat , he supposed to just suffer in silence?
if the only thing holding him in that relationship is her weight then he should leave and stop wasting her time.
ilikemonkeys Agreed....unless its a health concern , therefore its truly coming from a place of love
Princess D No, he's supposed to ask her what's going on with her. Encourage her, etc. Suffering in silence is reaching don't you think?
Can’t agree with you. If you can’t be communicate and be real with your wife the love ain’t that deep. You should be be able to say to your wife in a non offensive way that she should lose weight. Of course she’s gonna know because anyone should know that they gain weight when they put pants on one day and it doesn’t fit or they put their shirt on and it’s too tight. But some people needs to be called out or check and needs support to push themselves to do stuff. If I was to gain weight I would like to know and if she wanted me to lose it I’d like to know as well. It’s not a major sacrifice to lose weight. But you saying no man shouldn’t tell their women how they feel that’s not a good relationship. It should be both ways equally
Tamar y are u talking over everyone
Shari Parrilla
Trying get attition all eyes on her😉and her
LOL did u not watch the real sis?
Nikira Carter I did and she did it then but it's still annoying u can't hear anyone else talk
She always does that...She does it on her sisters' reality show too. Loud
Nina Star she wants so much attention.
I would absolutely take it into consideration. As long is it's not an over the top request its asked for respectfully (not demanded) and it aligns with my own vision, I wouldn't have a problem.
I like the balance of opinions in their conversation
I want my future husband to be honest with me. If I gain way to much weight best way to help me is being honest with me and offer to help me in the journey
Tamar's giving the most!! She mid as well get up and tap dance on the coffee table. Poor Keri Hilson can't get a word in edgewise. 😂😂😂😂 #extraisback
Only women have a responsibility towards their partner? What about men? They don’t have to reciprocate it? A relationship is not a one way street. One should never feel the need to change who and what they are to please someone else. A loving partner would accept and appreciate you as you are and encourage you to be the best version of yourself. If a man wants to be with you he will and if he gonna bounce he gon bounce sis. It’s not your responsibility to keep him there.
she right, sometimes you have to do new things, if your partner likes certain thing nothing wrong with doing it
TRASH ADVICE!!! Do not live your life trying to please your mate. You should always be comfortable in the body you're in. The only time to talk about lifestyle changes is when it can medically harm you. If they want to leave a marriage cause you're not "cute" enough for RUN do not walk out.
Tamar needs her own talk show her personality is to strong to talk with other people.
Kimberly, YESSS!! Be your highest self for YOURSELF and your spouse will appreciate it on both counts 💯💯💯
If you go outside of your house to look for what you like then you don’t love your wife to begin with. I can’t believe a grown man said that.
Jessica Valdes I do. Remember, he cheated on his first two wives.
For real. I can't stand that some men feel like as women we are *obligated* to wear makeup, do our hair a certain way, etc. Like, why do you get to feel comfortable in your natural skin, but I don't? Miss me with that. I'm so glad that my bf tells me all the time how beautiful he thinks I am on a daily basis whether I wear makeup or not, whether my hair is done or not, etc. Most days I just don't have the time or energy to bother with makeup, and I work in a warehouse setting, so there's really no need to wear it daily, and my skin has improved SO much...I kind of like that when I *do* wear it, it feels more special, like I'm really looking my *best* for date nights or whatever. Can't imagine having a man that is so concerned and uptight with my beauty choices.
yedaperry No most men don’t feel women are obligated to wear makeup. Most rather they don’t so they know what they’re getting into. I honestly don’t mind if a girl doesn’t wear make up it shows she has natural beauty.Women opt in to wearing makeup because its their choice. A lot of them I see wear it when they go out everyday and completely look different when they don’t wear it because you only see them with makeup on you’ve become accustomed to that look. I rather someone be comfortable with they natural skin and glad that you and your boyfriend are happy with you being if your natural skin. But I assure you I’m sure guys rather see women with out their make up because I’ve seen what makeup does to a women and it can change them to a completely different person
"LIES!" "AHotMess.org" 😂 I'm not even done watching the video yet, but I realize how much I have missed Tamar on daytime tv.
These women don’t know what real marriage is. You can’t change for nobody but yourself. You can’t tell a woman to lose weight like that.
Tamar looks like she got her makeup done by a cross dressing cirque du soleil performer in Vegas
Thanks Steve for the show
Men are attracted to what they see if you stop dress up and gain a ton of weight don't complain about him not wanting to take you out.
Sometimes my man tells me to dress differently sometimes, try new styles and I’m glad he can help me step out of my comfort zone. It’s a win win situation. Because if I’m in a relationship, the only person I’m more focused on to impress when it comes to what I wear or whatever it is, is myself and my man.
I think it's weird to get into a relationship then ask someone to change themselves and I think it's horrible to put that on the women that you have to "be what your man wants" 100% or hes going to leave like thats so weird to me
Tamar is pure entertainment.
If you have to morph your apperance to be accepted by your mate. He or She may not be the best person. Your apperance will change over time, you will age, if your loyalty is based on superficial attributes your doomed anyway thus Tamar now being divorced and cutting her hair. Feeling finally free to be yourself. You should be able to be yourself with partner
Forget your looks.... your attitude to me is the most important factor. Be healthy yes but what about kindness and respect.
If He Truly Loves You He Will Change For You, And If She Truly Loves Him She will change for him.
Not everything though. Like change your hair color or eye color like come on if you have a wife with brown hair and eyes, would you tell her to change to blonde hair and blue eyes? Nope you wouldn't.
I just love Keri ♥️♥️♥️
Its abt the delivery.. Never leave somebody over flaws cause most can be fixed
Honesty is the best policy... unless hurts my feelings
Tamar looks so beautiful bald!!!
lilian makori she looks fake since cosmetic surgery
Nah fam
lilian makori she really does you look gorgeous as well queen
A queen an only be a queen with a king so why do y’all call each other that lol
The 1 And only KK that is true as well but as women we are queens because of our strength are beauty. I say it because it is facts women are queens lol we dont need a king to be a
Queen there were many female rulers who never had a king beside them but still got things done lol.
Tamar just screaming on this entire show
Nope, my feelings would not be hurt. My husband should be opened to loosing weight too.
I'll change for him as long as he changes for me too cuz at the end of the day I'm sure we both got some things to work on
Even if you do lose weight that dont mean he won't leave you. So thinking like that kinda scares me and I don't feel like you should be telling younger adults this foolish stuff about "keeping in shape for your man". If he loved you like when he first met you he will love you ever after you gained some weight. If your physical appearance matters so much that he would divorce you then that relationship wasn't going anywhere in the first place.
Poor advice IMO
How you looked when your Partner met you, should be the ball park of how you look.
I don't Care about what people look like I don't judge
Wise words all around from everybody
Although I've never been overweight...I do check myself to make sure I'm not over eating.
What if I went through a phase in life (got hurt) and it made me look or act different? My husband tells me to change or else he’ll leave? GTFOH What happen to loving your partner for better or for worse? I’m starting to believe the only unconditional love is the one you have for yourself or for children.
Keri Hilson is so pretty!
Losing weight is not only about looking attractive but also about being healthy. If you're overweight, you must listen to him and if not then just leave him cause he'll always point out flaws in you.
The funniest thing is recently a guy posted a video about his wife being fat, and that he is not attracted to her anymore, so she should lose weight, and twitter went wild
Tamar has been giving me LIFE on Steve Harvey these past few weeks. I cannot WAIT for her own show. Honestly disagree with the hate and all the "what's wrong with Tamar?" acting like she hasn't ALWAYS been THIS outspoken in the past lol.
That's a load of lies. Tamar wasn't blond when she married him, she wasn't blonde when BFV first started, she only just started wearing those blonde weaves after she got famous from BFV. Even Vince pointed out to Tamar, "if I wanted that why would I marry you."
Like Steve said.As men,we are visual.We like eye candy.It about your whole everything.Looks and attitude.Not one in the comment section acknowledged what he said about what us men like or attracted to.Ladies ,if you want to attract a man.Kniw what men like.If you want a certain caliber of man.Understand what it takes to get him.
Advocating cheating because your spouse doesn't wear makeup is not exactly correct Steve. I think if a woman won't wear makeup for example when her husband loves a little makeup is wrong. She's saying she doesn't want you. Women are the keepers of beauty period. They should always strive to be the best they can be. That does not mean more money. Natural hair, a gym membership, glowing skin and a little makeup goes ALL the way home!
If you love your partner you will change, if you love your partner you won’t ask them to change. It’s a bit of a paradox but you still need to communicate with them that your unhappy about something. Just as long as you don’t then sit there expecting them to change.
Let's do a fast hallelujah, for the lord 😂😂😂😂 TAMAR
keri trying real hard to step her voice and perspective up with Tamar being on. u can sense the quiet competition. Tamar needs her own show fr
But what's crazy is, when ur man MET u wearing make up, liked u so much then, but then tries to tell u he doesn't like u to wear it, so unless u stop he can't be with u, huh?????? OH, AND met u when u were thin, ur older now, now he's into larger women, so he wants u to be thicker, but ur not and don't want to be fat, so u tell him no. I don't want to be fat with no make up on. That's nothin but control, boy bye!
“I don’t know a man that **STUPID**!!” 🤣
but but but that is Kerri! LMAO i AM LIKE WHO is this attorney general until I got the close up??? lol
It's not necessarily about the fact that you tell your partner that you want them to lose wait. It's about whether or not you drop that bombshell and then leave them in it. As for me, don't tell me I'm looking a certain way when your not willing to walk this journey with me. Suggest going for a walk every night after dinner so that we both can exercise. Matter of fact, how about you make the dinner tonight and then you control what ingredients are put in; make me a healthy cuisine. If we're married and you just comment about my weight-gain...ooh, boy, you're in for a rough ride. That's not helping anyone. The one thing I would ask of my partner is that he tries to get me active before he starts the whole: "You're gaining weight." Don't start saying things that could harm your relationship without a back-up plan on how you can work through this together. Besides, what if my view of what a healthy weight looks like differs from his? Then we'd really have issues.
It depends.if you're too overweight,or underweight,then encouraging healthier habits is good.if they dress inappropriately,maybe guiding them is good. It really depends on the situation,and exactly what change you mean.would I get cosmetic surgery for a mate? No. If my husband says he's concerned that I've lost or gained too much weight,okay.if it comes from love and concern,then,no issue.
Depends how they say it and where there heart is. Same with everything in life, it's not what you say or don't say that matters, it's what your attitude is and whether you're coming from a pure heart.
Keri 😍😍
That comment Steve made about stepping outside the marriage if you stop wearing makeup. Isn't something a changed man would say. Just saying.
Tamar is so beautiful w the cut. She look her age & so classy. But Tamar please don't let no sprigs of hair stand over the place.
Theirs a way to talk to each other. Don't say go loose weight. Do activities together. And have fun