I Found Out My Girlfriend Was Married

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  • Опубликовано: 4 апр 2024
  • I Found Out My Girlfriend Was Married
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Комментарии • 510

  • @Aminah6623
    @Aminah6623 3 месяца назад +937

    Sir, if your girlfriend has a husband she's not your girlfriend. She's her husband's wife and you're her side piece.

    • @80sbrunnette
      @80sbrunnette 3 месяца назад +58

      I’m the mistress ? - Michael Scott

    • @snsn7251
      @snsn7251 3 месяца назад +11

      I was literally coming to make this comment. Well said

    • @texan903
      @texan903 3 месяца назад +32

      At this point, she's neither a wife nor a girlfriend. She belongs to the community.

    • @Username0467
      @Username0467 3 месяца назад +8

      @@texan903 Still a person, goddamn.

    • @texan903
      @texan903 3 месяца назад +13

      @@Username0467 Still loose and has become property of the community.

  • @SiGr10614
    @SiGr10614 3 месяца назад +568

    A, she is a liar,
    B, she will cheat and Lie to you,
    C, get her out of your life, FAST!!

    • @its_just_me_acb
      @its_just_me_acb 3 месяца назад +9

      What? She told him and he still dated her

    • @probablynot1368
      @probablynot1368 3 месяца назад +18

      Yes, so he knows the inevitable:
      D. If she does it with you, she’ll do it to you

    • @mikef2811
      @mikef2811 3 месяца назад +12

      If she cheats on her husband, she will cheat on you later on if you stay.

    • @JakeStewart1343
      @JakeStewart1343 3 месяца назад +10

      "D" is her hobby

    • @daletrautman2626
      @daletrautman2626 3 месяца назад

      And they always have a roster of guys they are texting and you are being moved up or down on that list.They are basically whores.

  • @dudeorduuude5211
    @dudeorduuude5211 3 месяца назад +357

    With 8 billion people on Earth, there is no need to settle for messy situations.

    • @kimberlyfloyd1009
      @kimberlyfloyd1009 3 месяца назад +3

      So true!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • @RepentImmediately
      @RepentImmediately 3 месяца назад +3

      Married people are the main people settling

    • @romans52345-cy3tq
      @romans52345-cy3tq 3 месяца назад +12

      A woman would never date a man who lives with his mother but she would date a man who lives with his wife

    • @shanandananscoo
      @shanandananscoo 3 месяца назад

      @@romans52345-cy3tq unrelated to this situation. LOL

    • @shanandananscoo
      @shanandananscoo 3 месяца назад +6

      Is this so? 8 billion?
      For a given human, narrow that down to the number of single people of the preferred gender who live close enough and actually cross-paths with enough to start flirting...... I'd say the number is more like 2 or 3 at best.

  • @ufchighlights1
    @ufchighlights1 3 месяца назад +146

    This dude is smart. I think he just got caught up in what the heart wants. Sometimes logic goes out the window

  • @lorainefleeman6011
    @lorainefleeman6011 3 месяца назад +80

    The caller is actually very wise. He realized even before this call that she will cheat on him, and wants to end it.

    • @Cafeallday222
      @Cafeallday222 25 дней назад +1

      He knows he did something wrong. He is wise for sure. I don’t think he’ll repeat this. She was probably tempting because he had a hubby so she felt more disconnected in a way whereas single women, who are actually available, make him run because it’s more realistic he’ll actually end up with her. He knew the married woman wasn’t so easily obtainable and so it’s less scary. It all adds up.

  • @user-co7ph1rm9z
    @user-co7ph1rm9z 3 месяца назад +101

    GF got herself a Grandpa-Husband and Sidedude-Lover. She didn't play him, she played the old man.

  • @droptozro
    @droptozro 3 месяца назад +392

    If I listened correctly, he didn't "found out"--he knew almost immediately upon meeting up with her in person after messaging her online... and went into it anyways.

    • @melanieb2132
      @melanieb2132 3 месяца назад +29

      Well, she was evasive, and he didn't push hard enough for the info.
      Ultimately, it's on him...

    • @truthreigns3465
      @truthreigns3465 3 месяца назад

      Typical simp

    • @ForAncientKingAndElvishLord
      @ForAncientKingAndElvishLord 3 месяца назад +3

      Yes, exactly.

    • @yoloswagthuglifeselfie568
      @yoloswagthuglifeselfie568 3 месяца назад +7

      @@melanieb2132it’s the man’s fault of course

    • @IrishFrank22
      @IrishFrank22 3 месяца назад +37

      ​@@melanieb2132It's the wife fault. She is married and should not be with other men except her husband.

  • @angryox3102
    @angryox3102 3 месяца назад +101

    Even without the moral concerns, that’s a dangerous spot to be. You do not want a scorned spouse angry at you.

    • @montecarlo4294
      @montecarlo4294 3 месяца назад +4

      You’re right. However, years ago, an angry spouse was something to definitely be concerned about. But these days, men who get cheated on don’t do anything. Not like they would have years ago. I wish they still did do something to put the fear of the Lord in the hearts of the men who sleep with their wives. But, sadly, in most cases now, they just let it roll right off like water off a duck’s back

    • @genelewis2481
      @genelewis2481 3 месяца назад

      ⁠@@montecarlo4294it happened to me and the only reason I didn’t end him is because I wanted to continue to be a father for my son. Hard to do that from prison but it has nothing to do with acceptance or “letting it roll”!! Some things are more important than revenge or pride.

    • @FreeSpirit47
      @FreeSpirit47 3 месяца назад

      @@montecarlo4294 Vigilante justice, sometimes is called for. It can be done, legally, people simply don't care enough to implement it.
      A law was passed in New York in 1907 making it legal for SOs to sue for cheating on them. 15 US states also have laws that have been used where one spouse sued another for cheating on them.
      If a person gathers the evidence, wants to go through the anguish of a lawsuit, it has been done successfully.

    • @kellywade8275
      @kellywade8275 3 месяца назад

      @@montecarlo4294 Please get some help.🙏🏾

    • @mvubu6823
      @mvubu6823 3 месяца назад +6

      ​@@montecarlo4294
      Not dice i would ever want to roll...
      This lady is DANGEROUS herself

  • @commanderbarbie2550
    @commanderbarbie2550 3 месяца назад +155

    Time to run away. Fast.

  • @sassytoez
    @sassytoez 3 месяца назад +394

    Like my dad always said, “If they’ll do it with you, they’ll do it to you.”

    • @davidblaske6911
      @davidblaske6911 3 месяца назад +2

      Remind them don't forget to take alot of pictures because how else will you know they didn't.

    • @romans52345-cy3tq
      @romans52345-cy3tq 3 месяца назад +4

      Not always, people do tend to fall in love with other people, it happens but yeah it's not something you want to chance

    • @marysaltlife1427
      @marysaltlife1427 3 месяца назад +1

      Yep, I say the same.

    • @marjoriejohnson6535
      @marjoriejohnson6535 3 месяца назад +4

      At one time I was to arrogant to believe he would do it to me...and after all he wasn't married he just lived with her for 10 years ...guess what..I married a serial cheater....mistake,...

    • @hollyj2925
      @hollyj2925 3 месяца назад +1

      True words!

  • @figgityfly
    @figgityfly 3 месяца назад +30

    This guy needs to run. My son’s father(an ex) just got a marrried woman pregnant. She lives with her “estranged” husband and their 16 year old son in the same home. My son’s father is a wealthy man and now this woman got her meal ticket to financially exit her marriage and acquire child support. This woman chased him all year even while he was with other women and told him she couldn’t get pregnant at 42 years old due to endometriosis. He fell for this and made decisions with the wrong head. Please leave married and red flag women alone.

  • @joywebster2678
    @joywebster2678 3 месяца назад +63

    To all single people, when someone claims they are " leaving their current spouse" and you will be the new partner, RUN. If they are truly interested they can look you up when they have completed their OLD business. Stop playing side/chick/dude to a married person who has no interest in leaving their current situation, but LIES and gaslights you that it will happen. So make them demonstrate its done. 9/10 the spouse has no clue that their marriage is going anywhere and side person ends up the fool.

    • @Mszahnclass95
      @Mszahnclass95 3 месяца назад +4

      Amen ❤ I agree 💯

    • @thequirkychristian
      @thequirkychristian 3 месяца назад +5

      Agreed! I got jumped on in a Facebook singles group for saying that I would never date someone who is separated. I was told that I could be potentially missing out on a great guy just because I’m judgmental. 😂 But I have seen too many situations where people say they are separated, but never actually get a divorce. Or it takes a few years to get the divorce. I don’t even understand why anyone would want to start a new relationship when they’re still attached to an old one, even if it’s just legally

  • @betty5799
    @betty5799 3 месяца назад +30

    I think it’s good that he actually feels bad, it means he is a good human being. You have no idea how much a man that makes You.

  • @Annie-ex3ge
    @Annie-ex3ge 3 месяца назад +34

    "I'm usually running from relationships, self- sabotaging..." she was great as long as she was married. Now she is available for him, he is sabotaging the relationship and running again...

    • @tcggggg
      @tcggggg 3 месяца назад +6

      He self sabotaged accepting her into his life knowing she had a husband. This isnt a “relationship” to even be running from.

    • @-glitch-8195
      @-glitch-8195 3 месяца назад +3

      He's suffering from a deep kind of self-hatred. One that tells you that you don't deserve to be loved. He was deprived of it when he was younger. So he still carries that around. He was attracted to her because in some ways, she reminded him of his mother's situation. He's still taking the hit for that. Poor guy.

    • @Cafeallday222
      @Cafeallday222 25 дней назад

      Ding ding ding

  • @JeremyS86
    @JeremyS86 3 месяца назад +85

    he kinda sounds like myself not long ago. its tough to have a healthy relationship, when you've never seen one personally.

    • @user-ex3mx7hk4l
      @user-ex3mx7hk4l 3 месяца назад +10

      How Not to be Married:
      My Dad was abusive and our family was extremely dysfunctional.
      In my 20’s it took me awhile to figure out that it would be a good idea if I picked someone opposite of my Dad.
      In other words, someone who wasn’t a dictator who ruled with an iron fist & cheated on their Spouse.
      Learning the finer nuances of good communication & things like conflict resolution came later.
      Growing up I never saw a healthy relationship but it didn’t seem like rocket science:
      How to Be Married:
      1. Don’t abuse your partner.
      2. Don’t abuse the kids.
      3. Give your Spouse the same respect you want to have.
      4. Don’t be selfish.
      5. Don’t cheat.
      6. Get professional help with any personal issues you can’t resolve on your own.
      28 years later & it’s worked in my marriage.
      💕

    • @lillybethford1915
      @lillybethford1915 3 месяца назад +3

      I agree to extent, because you don’t need to do drugs to know it’s bad for you. Having good character won’t allow you to be with a married man/woman.

    • @addiskassa5165
      @addiskassa5165 3 месяца назад

      ​@user-ex3mx7hk4l good for you! You are so wise! God blessed!🙏👍👊🙌

    • @Suzette-gb7uj
      @Suzette-gb7uj 3 месяца назад +1

      I am sad that you have never had role models to show you what healthy relationships looks like.

    • @Xzy-rv2nu
      @Xzy-rv2nu 3 месяца назад

      You used to date married chicks?

  • @BillTheConquerer
    @BillTheConquerer 2 месяца назад +4

    This is the kind of therapy men need. Honest. Direct. Supportive. Practical. The caller takes responsibility for choices, but doesn't know how to move forward. I wish more therapists did this with men. We might see a positive change in the internal narratives men carry. Thank you, Dr. John.

  • @mwhe3111
    @mwhe3111 3 месяца назад +28

    Yep...if she'll cheat with you, she'll cheat on you. Dude...gain some self-respect.

  • @ntDR1313
    @ntDR1313 3 месяца назад +34

    Alexander, you are worth more than that, I wish you much love, healing and self forgiveness.

  • @Charlies1970TA
    @Charlies1970TA 3 месяца назад +28

    Wow, I was buying into his story until John pointed out this talk was about her and not him. Progress was made once the caller understood he needed to focus on himself!

  • @felisleo101
    @felisleo101 3 месяца назад +40

    “So you’re saying…there might be a chance!” 😂

  • @bisi1980
    @bisi1980 3 месяца назад +30

    A lot of people from broken homes chose toxic relationships that they know will fail to justify their belief that relationships are harmful and they hurt.

    • @MikeyPaper
      @MikeyPaper 3 месяца назад +1

      This is too true.

  • @katyedwards3935
    @katyedwards3935 3 месяца назад +87

    Break up with her.

  • @c.ro.w8191
    @c.ro.w8191 3 месяца назад +24

    Ok the fact that she is 35 and married to a 60 yr old man should raise a lot of questions. Especially since she seems to lead a completely different lifestyle than her husband. So many red flags with her. She is probably pretty wild and needed someone who would offer stability. Like a father figure. He should walk away and get some support. She needs to figure her sh#$ out.

    • @merricat3025
      @merricat3025 3 месяца назад +6

      I am wondering if he had money

    • @what.the.whatever
      @what.the.whatever 3 месяца назад +3

      Look I'm 32 and wouldn't be with someone that old. My dad is 70 and just because you can doesn't mean you should... the thought of being with someone thirty years younger than me makes me cringe

  • @stephenwishburne1034
    @stephenwishburne1034 3 месяца назад +9

    I’ve been a little critical of your approach Dr. John with some of your previous sessions. But the advice you gave here and the treatment you gave this man makes me happy to call you a brother in our effort to decrease suffering in the world! I’m proud of you John!

    • @mrv2308
      @mrv2308 27 дней назад

      He’s way to soft. This dude is going to get karma bad.

  • @annelouise-qz9vx
    @annelouise-qz9vx 3 месяца назад +7

    If you ask the question, "do you have somebody" and the answer is, I do, but it's complicated", the person is NOT AVAILABLE!!! Do not , do not, do not get involved with anyone is not 100% available. If you do, be prepared for heartache. Do not settle for an unhealthy situation.

  • @wikitaeu
    @wikitaeu 3 месяца назад +8

    I truly adore how John listens without judgement.

    • @FlappyBelly
      @FlappyBelly 3 месяца назад

      And why no one will fix themselves... people need judgement.

    • @FlappyBelly
      @FlappyBelly 3 месяца назад

      No regerts...YOLO... Puke

  • @biolife3274
    @biolife3274 3 месяца назад +35

    It's definitely not over. Only over if she decides. He'll go back.

  • @AnimsOnDemand
    @AnimsOnDemand 3 месяца назад +17

    Sounds like he hasn't thinking with the right head and now he's realizing not that she was married but that he messed up.

    • @mrv2308
      @mrv2308 27 дней назад

      Karmas going to come for him.

  • @fordkd1
    @fordkd1 3 месяца назад +23

    I had a relationship similar, not married but with a friend ex. Totally regretted it and beat myself up about it for years. Finally, I asked God to forgive me and I had to forgive myself. I wasn't in a good place when I got into the relationship. Took time to get over and then I heard the song, I'm clean by Natalie Grant. I realized I was and owe none of those people in that process anything. The guilt was lifted off my shoulders

    • @thomaspugh9969
      @thomaspugh9969 3 месяца назад +4

      You don't owe the friend an apology?

    • @Dogscatsbikes
      @Dogscatsbikes 3 месяца назад +1

      You heard a song

    • @waynepolo6193
      @waynepolo6193 3 месяца назад +2

      Jesus might have sacrificed himself for your sins, but your friend did not.

    • @fordkd1
      @fordkd1 3 месяца назад

      @@thomaspugh9969 I actually did, but that's a story for another day

    • @mrv2308
      @mrv2308 27 дней назад

      You are gojng to get yours had too! Karma is coming for you and you deserve it.

  • @Hello_jo
    @Hello_jo 3 месяца назад +63

    Gosh I am so glad I’m not in a relationship. So much energy.

    • @jennabryan1658
      @jennabryan1658 3 месяца назад +9

      For real! It’s solving problems constantly…problems you wouldn’t have if you were single 😂😂

    • @davidharman7245
      @davidharman7245 3 месяца назад +2

      Are you devoting that energy into something else which is rewarding to you? Or are you pursuing a simpler life? (both have benefits)
      p.s. That is a rhetorical question.

    • @RepentImmediately
      @RepentImmediately 3 месяца назад

      Being single is always the simpler way of living regardless of how you're using your time ​@@davidharman7245

    • @Hello_jo
      @Hello_jo 3 месяца назад +3

      @@davidharman7245 Which question is rhetorical?

    • @StrongerThanBigfoot
      @StrongerThanBigfoot 3 месяца назад

      @@Hello_jo You close to West Virginia? You'll fall in love with me. I'm gods gift to women

  • @user-wh7ue2mt1t
    @user-wh7ue2mt1t 3 месяца назад +5

    Thank you!! This show really helped me in my inability to forgive myself for my stupid mistakes. I have some letters to write!!

  • @domirican81
    @domirican81 3 месяца назад +12

    He added her on facebook, he definitely knew she was married. She’s a 304, nothing new.

  • @alexandereisen3486
    @alexandereisen3486 2 месяца назад +3

    Nothing he can do other than forgive himself, try to learn from his mistakes, and move on.

    • @mrv2308
      @mrv2308 27 дней назад

      He’s going to fall in love and karma is going to hit him bad. And he deserves it.

    • @alexandereisen3486
      @alexandereisen3486 27 дней назад

      @@mrv2308 maybe but it still doesn’t negate what I said. Even if that happens all he can do is accept that he’s been humbled and keep walking.

  • @rz8753
    @rz8753 3 месяца назад +4

    I like the way dr John explains guilt and shame , this is very helpful

  • @genxx2724
    @genxx2724 3 месяца назад +6

    Some people who have commitment issues purposely choose relationships they know will not work out. That way the relationship fails without their having done anything wrong or ended it, and they can keep believing that they want a relationship and they were wronged.

  • @EmilyLucille523
    @EmilyLucille523 3 месяца назад +14

    I almost choked on my gum and broke out laughing when he said, “I should’ve known then when she said ‘I do, but it’s complicated’”! 🤣🤣🤣Red flags for sure! Hello!!! 🚩🚩🚩

  • @mewgiah8057
    @mewgiah8057 3 месяца назад +18

    The comments are being way too hard on this caller. It's true he should have known better and is responsible for his actions. But people are missing the part where the girl said "it was complicated" and implied to him that the relationship was over (or on the way to being over). The caller is also using hindsight to say "i should have known better" because yeah the way she worded that was sketch. But it doesn't take into account that she lied when they first met and persuaded him that her relationship was on its last legs. Its only after the fact he realizes it was a complete lie and he should have picked up on it.
    Also most cheaters or people who do bad things, don't give it a second thought. They don't feel any guilt. This guy does. He's actually taking responsibility for his actions and recognizes he did a bad thing. He's taking steps to fix himself. Again, I'm not saying people cant be critical of him. But I just don't get why so many are kicking him while he's down and acting as if he doesn't already know he messed up.

    • @alissonvonderlane862
      @alissonvonderlane862 3 месяца назад +2

      I think he heard what his heart wanted him to hear...

    • @DuffyGabi
      @DuffyGabi 3 месяца назад +3

      No, it wasn’t complicated. He crossed the line with a woman who was still married and then he went farther and farther across that line. He was not a victim or manipulated. He knew exactly where this could head because he was thinking with his small head from day one.

    • @nimbzclowd
      @nimbzclowd 3 месяца назад

      You must be new here. This channel bashes men for breathing wrong and puts women on a pedestal no matter what. He doesn't have them take accountability. The same stuff he'd say to a man he wouldn't a women even if they had similar stories

    • @Albertdoessomething-df9vr
      @Albertdoessomething-df9vr 2 месяца назад

      "its was complicated" is the reason not to engage. Let them first be single/divorced legally, mentally, emotionally etc

    • @mrv2308
      @mrv2308 27 дней назад

      No he knew exactly what was up. He dresses everything bad that is coming his way. He is going to fall in love hard after working on himself and she will cheat.

  • @santafilipina9020
    @santafilipina9020 3 месяца назад +31

    Get her out of your life completely. Block her on social and phone. Avoid the same gym and biking friends circles. Don't look her up. These are easy to do if you get a life. The weakest time is when you're lonely so make sure you have a couple of good friends you can call when this happens.

    • @HaydeeNunez
      @HaydeeNunez 3 месяца назад +1

      This is excellent advice! I hope he sees your comment and actually implements it in his life.

    • @hollyj2925
      @hollyj2925 3 месяца назад +1

      Great advice!

  • @ponygirlusa
    @ponygirlusa 3 месяца назад +8

    Sure. The old "my spouse doesn't understand me" trope. If they'll cheat on their spouse they'll cheat on you.

  • @mrshappywife8468
    @mrshappywife8468 3 месяца назад +7

    I was extremely disappointed in the comments here. If the roles were switched y'all would have been making every excuse in the book. He obviously has a lot of childhood trauma he needs to heal and grow from. I come from a very similar background and I hope and pray you heal sir. I wish you all the best and please ignore the nasty comments. Most of them sound like they need God or a good talking to from Dr. John themselves.

  • @JulietActual
    @JulietActual 3 месяца назад +26

    I feel bad for the chick's husband who can't defend himself. Both are at fault. Unfortunately we hear these stories all the time where people get hurt because they decided to keep the affair going. Stop the bs. You knew what she was about from the jump. You're not innocent in this as you took ownership of and thats great. But dude. Forgive yourself and tell her husband.... work on yourself & dont get into relationships until you heal. end the relationship. Save a brother or sister in this situation. Stop fkn with people's feelings.

    • @RepentImmediately
      @RepentImmediately 3 месяца назад +2

      Why would he tell the husband? 😂 He would probably get his ass kicked.

    • @genxx2724
      @genxx2724 3 месяца назад

      Don’t tell the husband. That’s looking for drama.

    • @JulietActual
      @JulietActual 3 месяца назад +2

      @auemmjee real men does these. I highly doubt he'll want to throw hands unless hes a simp. You telling me you wouldn't tell another man his wife I cheating on him?

    • @JulietActual
      @JulietActual 3 месяца назад +3

      @genxx2724 you ain't looking for drama. I'd want to know if someone was cheating. But I guess some people rather not know it's on them I guess

  • @RealAnimeBadGuy
    @RealAnimeBadGuy 3 месяца назад +21

    Motorcycles and bodybuilding? I'd be hypnotized too.

    • @RafaelSantos-vg3jd
      @RafaelSantos-vg3jd 3 месяца назад +12

      I don't know but that's masculine energy to me. I prefer feminine women.

    • @RealAnimeBadGuy
      @RealAnimeBadGuy 3 месяца назад +4

      @@RafaelSantos-vg3jd it's just people liking what they like, no “masculine energy”

    • @morgancardinale6098
      @morgancardinale6098 3 месяца назад +5

      ​@@RealAnimeBadGuy Women into bodybuilding and motorcycles definitely harness masculine energy. You can like whatever you like, but it doesn't make the statement wrong.

    • @RealAnimeBadGuy
      @RealAnimeBadGuy 3 месяца назад +4

      @@morgancardinale6098 it does though a motorcycle is a mode of transportation not a men-only thing. Neither is bodybuilding. That's exactly why there are male and female competitors. Getting from point A to be or building your body is not gender based

    • @GIRLINA101
      @GIRLINA101 3 месяца назад +4

      ​@@morgancardinale6098She's a firefighter, too. Interesting.

  • @Roaming725
    @Roaming725 3 месяца назад +4

    That part about *how* to forgive yourself is really helpful, thank you.

  • @spricket24
    @spricket24 3 месяца назад +7

    He deserves so much better than this and deserves to be loved and held in a high status - I hope he gets some help to see the light and starts to value himself. He will attract someone who treats him so much better than this if he does resolve his issues ❤ I wish that for you all as well.

    • @jones2277
      @jones2277 3 месяца назад +3

      why does he deserve better? he knew going in that she was marrried.

    • @spricket24
      @spricket24 3 месяца назад

      @@jones2277 because of his childhood trauma he suffered through

    • @evelyndaisy9722
      @evelyndaisy9722 3 месяца назад +1

      He knew she was married and still pursued her.

    • @spricket24
      @spricket24 3 месяца назад +1

      @@evelyndaisy9722 Yup - and he deserves to be with someone who is not married and to heal his trauma.

    • @spricket24
      @spricket24 3 месяца назад +1

      @@jones2277 Because he deserves to be with someone who is not married and to heal his trauma - hence - deserves better.

  • @user-eq6wb8zt8l
    @user-eq6wb8zt8l 3 месяца назад +2

    I don’t think we forgive ourselves enough. That’s great advice and something I’ll take with me, thank you!

  • @fivespeed3026
    @fivespeed3026 3 месяца назад +4

    This happened to me except we were dating first. She met an older doctor and married him and I had no idea until he contacted me. It was heartbreaking for both of us. He ended up drinking himself to death. I moved on.

    • @mrv2308
      @mrv2308 27 дней назад

      Karma will hit you.

  • @ceciliaaznaran3317
    @ceciliaaznaran3317 3 месяца назад +4

    At least he recognized he made a mistake and felt that it was not ok. Deep down infedility issues stem from situations from our upbringing. In my belief as long as you honestly regret and ask God for forgiveness, you will feel much better.

  • @OasisWullie1872
    @OasisWullie1872 Месяц назад

    I'm a self saboteur; it's ruined my life and in maturity, I realise it was all down to abandonment issues from childhood...I found this so relatable.

  • @Hope4Life26
    @Hope4Life26 3 месяца назад +2

    This is why therapy is important for some people. Childhood trauma is real and needs to be dealt with before entering a relationship if you want a HEALTHY relationship.

  • @joycephillips831
    @joycephillips831 3 месяца назад +4

    Great advice Dr John.

  • @wenchyfoodwench4098
    @wenchyfoodwench4098 3 месяца назад +7

    She’s an adulterer. He’s participating in it shame on him.

  • @alluringbliss4165
    @alluringbliss4165 3 месяца назад +46

    Soul ties, not fun. Gotta pray on it.

    • @Ytdeletesallmycomments
      @Ytdeletesallmycomments 3 месяца назад +3

      Nah karmic ties.
      The nasty gotta go ones 😂

    • @JakobPGrau
      @JakobPGrau 3 месяца назад +4

      Soul ties are not biblical.

    • @Ytdeletesallmycomments
      @Ytdeletesallmycomments 3 месяца назад +2

      @@JakobPGrau
      They are that is why there is confusion 😂😂😂

    • @coriemmett1363
      @coriemmett1363 3 месяца назад +5

      Yep I’ve had to do that and give to Jesus.

    • @alluringbliss4165
      @alluringbliss4165 3 месяца назад +4

      @@JakobPGrau it certainly is. God himself delivered me.

  • @evelyndaisy9722
    @evelyndaisy9722 3 месяца назад +2

    She told him ,” she’s married and it’s complicated “. He should’ve walked away right there. She has drama. She’s probably using them both .

  • @MisterKilogram
    @MisterKilogram 3 месяца назад +4

    Walk away and block her. If you mess around with another man's wife, you're going to find out. (Proverbs 6:34) For jealousy is the rage of a man: therefore he will not spare in the day of vengeance.

  • @KristelD
    @KristelD 3 месяца назад +3

    1:47 "I do but it's complicated". So she was honest from the beginning that she was in a relationship, he ignored that and now is upset about the situation he has put himself in?

  • @21truthbetold
    @21truthbetold 3 месяца назад +3

    How could he say she was fake if HE knew she was married the whole time? He is just as fake! He knows he’s not a genuine person but he’s blaming her for it. And after she left her husband, he no longer wants her, so he was only attracted to the fact she belonged to someone else so technically the woman wasn’t available. Like he said he self sabotages, and only wanted her when she wasn’t available.

  • @kristiiiiiiiii
    @kristiiiiiiiii 3 месяца назад +7

    Dude you walked into that one, knowing she had someone. That was your mistake. You’re now the red flag.

  • @celitacantrill10
    @celitacantrill10 3 месяца назад +3

    Alexander, please do write that letter to yourself. I've done that particular therapy, which is very helpful. I wish you peace Alexander and best regards, Celita

  • @Aminah6623
    @Aminah6623 3 месяца назад +5

    Sounds like he thought it would be short-term and fell for that thang. He won't leave.

  • @snowflake2910
    @snowflake2910 3 месяца назад

    You deserve better. You deserve someone who will be honest and committed and you’re wasting time with someone who doesn’t deserve you. She is keeping you from who you’re meant to be with.

  • @sa_ly
    @sa_ly 3 месяца назад +4

    Who loves you and respect YOU, and themselves will never put into a triangle. 😪 .

  • @LeahMarshals22
    @LeahMarshals22 3 месяца назад +5

    Don’t get involved in a marriage. Period.

  • @alissonvonderlane862
    @alissonvonderlane862 3 месяца назад +3

    You loose 'em how you get 'em!

  • @tigernotwoods914
    @tigernotwoods914 3 месяца назад +3

    She’s for the streets bruh. Let it go. Run.

  • @Gabster1990
    @Gabster1990 3 месяца назад +5

    So many single people in the world and he chooses a married woman.

  • @oraclepanda
    @oraclepanda 3 месяца назад +18

    This is why it's hard to pick a forever life partner. You can be tempted to infidelity much easier if you're not really into the partner. It sounds like this woman has a personality disorder and she's seeking security while also not being happy. Be careful who you marry, no matter what position you're in.

    • @ntDR1313
      @ntDR1313 3 месяца назад

      She was upfront about her "complicated" situation.... there's always 2 sides to the story. Perhaps she's trapped in a Narcissistic/controlling or manipulative "unloving" relationship. Perhaps she is seeking a bit of love and validation which she so rightly deserves and not getting at home 🤔 ... just a thought ❤

    • @Dansyoung
      @Dansyoung 3 месяца назад +4

      @@ntDR1313If she was in a relationship she isn’t happy with she should end it and not start a side relationship/affair. If you are a victim of something that doesn’t mean you get a free pass to hurt other people around you.

    • @RepentImmediately
      @RepentImmediately 3 месяца назад +1

      There's no reason to pick a forever partner.

    • @Dansyoung
      @Dansyoung 3 месяца назад +2

      @@wordsalad01Agreed, this is a manipulation thing where they can twist and contort anything to justify bad actions.

    • @ntDR1313
      @ntDR1313 3 месяца назад

      @@Dansyoung 100% I do agree there's no free pass.

  • @KiingShooter24
    @KiingShooter24 3 месяца назад +1

    I’m Dominican, close to his age and I felt that when he spoke of our culture, it’s true.

  • @user-tl7mj2bm4m
    @user-tl7mj2bm4m 3 месяца назад +4

    Once a cheater..always a cheater. Run from this woman.

    • @mrv2308
      @mrv2308 27 дней назад

      Right she told him she had an affair before and he will got with her while married. Karma is gojng to hit him bad.

  • @lpl433
    @lpl433 3 месяца назад +2

    No matter how long they’ve been separated they’re still married. RUN it’ll never end well.

  • @theslavemotivator3571
    @theslavemotivator3571 3 месяца назад +13

    I love you john

  • @qfbaby22
    @qfbaby22 3 месяца назад +2

    Damn. I’m almost going through this exact situation and it’s ruined me.

    • @mrv2308
      @mrv2308 27 дней назад

      So you knew the person was married?

  • @iamlovingawareness2284
    @iamlovingawareness2284 3 месяца назад +6

    My now wife was in a relationship before me. When we became friends she was married to an abusive man. We started to have feelings for each other during their separation. For better or worse, we’ve been married for 10 years now with 3 kids. We are best friends and our relationship only has gotten better through time. I understand people’s judgement about people in my situation, I suppose I justified our initial relationship by saying to myself that her then husband was an awful person and she was already escaping. Maybe I did the wrong thing but we’ve built a life, a homestead, and 3 wonderful children from that situation. How can I regret it? Given the subject of this video.

    • @proudatheist2042
      @proudatheist2042 3 месяца назад +3

      The fact that your wife's ex husband was abusive is a gigantic factor. I think people will judge your wife less harshly because an abusive relationship destroys people in it, so her ex-husband never would have been a decent husband to begin with. She left to save herself, not for the thrill of forbidden "kicks."

    • @lpl433
      @lpl433 3 месяца назад +3

      Sounds like that marriage was dead and only needed to be sorted legally. Most cases people shouldn’t involve themselves romantically with married people no matter how bad the marriage is. Happy urs worked out.

    • @JourneyDestination
      @JourneyDestination 3 месяца назад

      @@proudatheist2042this is the same excuse all Women use for cheating

    • @cdw5176
      @cdw5176 3 месяца назад

      nah brah ur a home wrecker and should be ashamed

  • @keywestfan2503
    @keywestfan2503 3 месяца назад

    It’s clear why he did it.
    When someone has a void, and then along comes someone who is beautiful, is fun, is laughing at your jokes, is looking at you a certain way no one else has….
    Man, you’re going to take every bit of that energy in.

  • @DaniiiDaniii8
    @DaniiiDaniii8 3 месяца назад +2

    If she cheats on her HUSBAND... What do you think she 'll do to you??? 😮 Walk away from that mess

  • @9liveslisa
    @9liveslisa 3 месяца назад +16

    He's human and love is a drug. He just needs to get back on track.

    • @andrewmarshall7569
      @andrewmarshall7569 3 месяца назад +2

      Lisa, it's more than him just "getting back on track". This man is delusional and he needs a father figure to step in and set him straight immediately. In a loving way of course.

    • @9liveslisa
      @9liveslisa 3 месяца назад +3

      @@andrewmarshall7569 You take comments way too seriously, but ok, if you say so.

    • @andrewmarshall7569
      @andrewmarshall7569 3 месяца назад

      @@9liveslisa I was adding on to what you were saying. I'm not disagreeing with you at all, but if you have sons, you'd be doing them a favor by jumping all over this, even if they are adults.

    • @devadii24
      @devadii24 3 месяца назад

      This sounds more like lust to me… which is even harder to overcome imo

  • @ozzycortes
    @ozzycortes 3 месяца назад +29

    Never ignore the 🚩🚩🚩🚩

    • @dennischiapello7243
      @dennischiapello7243 3 месяца назад +1

      You’re so right, but I never recognize the red flags except in the rearview mirror. I see them, but my brain is high on dopamine or whatever! But the other person being married is more than a red flag. It’s a brick wall!

    • @dextermcgrubbin
      @dextermcgrubbin 3 месяца назад

      Where's the fun in that? XD

    • @dahliaherrod4301
      @dahliaherrod4301 3 месяца назад

      That's not even a red flag. It's just a hard boundary that he chose to bust through for his own selfish desires.

    • @ozzycortes
      @ozzycortes 3 месяца назад +1

      @@dahliaherrod4301 Did you even listen to the video ? She's married, on social media interacting with other Men. Had an affair with a co worker. How are you going to tell me that's not a red flag ?

    • @dahliaherrod4301
      @dahliaherrod4301 3 месяца назад +1

      @@ozzycortes A person being married isn't a red flag. A red flag is a hard stop on a relationship. There is no relationship because she's married. He's just delusional and tried to hold onto something that never existed. The woman is disgusting and deserves whatever consequences come her way, but that doesn't negate the caller's issues.

  • @NHatemN
    @NHatemN 3 месяца назад +1

    Run.

  • @blueseptember2174
    @blueseptember2174 3 месяца назад

    Alexander has my respect for righting his wrongs 🙏 ❤

  • @23kppadilla
    @23kppadilla 3 месяца назад +1

    Sht happens so you either work around it or you leave 😂😂😂
    She has an appetite for life😂😂😂

  • @om617yota7
    @om617yota7 3 месяца назад +12

    Ahhh he knew from the very beginning. Alright, I'm out. Sorry bro, you did this to yourself.

  • @kara2162
    @kara2162 Месяц назад

    Guys sounds really smart. He deserves better than leftovers.

  • @Songbird36able
    @Songbird36able Месяц назад

    Stop ALL contact! Delete her from your, phone and all social media platforms and move on. If you live in the same area, you may have to move. LEAVE HER ALONE SIR!

  • @kylemedeiros6907
    @kylemedeiros6907 3 месяца назад +5

    When people comment without watching the full video: 👇🏻

  • @Thomas116-m2n
    @Thomas116-m2n Месяц назад

    If you didn't know and then find out, it's on her. If you knew and dated her anyway, it's on both of you. If you try to stay with her, you're likely risking your life.

  • @nancygorman
    @nancygorman 3 месяца назад +2

    Jesus loves you and forgives you! ❤❤❤ Writing the letter to self is so powerful. Love it.

  • @trey8872
    @trey8872 3 месяца назад +5

    She wanted to spice up her life with a Latin lover. 🕺🏽

    • @hmmm2564
      @hmmm2564 3 месяца назад +3

      How do you know that she is not Latin

    • @SaystheTruth3
      @SaystheTruth3 3 месяца назад

      😂

  • @leonidaslopez170
    @leonidaslopez170 3 месяца назад +2

    You reap what you sow. You don't feel any guilt; that's a lie. You are simply now suffering, knowing that the woman you fell in love with has zero morals, same as you. And she might say to another man that her relationship with you is complicated, the same way she said that to you.
    Let's face it, you are clearly not suffering for the marriage that you helped to wreck, since the beginning you knew she was married and you did not care, you are suffering because deep down you know that no one can expect to put his hands on fire and not get burned.

  • @annjensen795
    @annjensen795 3 месяца назад +2

    You made a mistake...but I think that the vast majority here has made a dumb mistake like this in life..BUT even more so I believe the vast majority can hear that you are a GOOD MAN! ❤️

    • @jones2277
      @jones2277 3 месяца назад +1

      that's not a mistake. that's what's called a choice.

  • @matkiley17
    @matkiley17 3 месяца назад

    They teach you these things in rehab too. Think about that. (Drug rehab) the guilt and the shame speach. The letters. And a bunch of other things. He even says its like drugs. These keep getting me feeling more and more like they're not just call ins but maybe... scripts? But i don't want to put that on this man.

  • @mystearicanohr9521
    @mystearicanohr9521 21 час назад

    I wish my dad would call and talk to Dr. John. He has issues with my mom that he occasionally lets leak out to me. But he shouldn’t. He needs to talk to someone though.
    He’s not originally from the US, so I don’t know how well he’d take to this podcasting thing.

  • @magma1647
    @magma1647 3 месяца назад

    Is this about Alex Pereira? Guys call in name Alexander, age 36 just like him, ex gf was still married ? Both are Latin people ! It doesn’t sound like him talking but it sure sounds like his story !

  • @mae1097
    @mae1097 3 месяца назад +3

    You have a gentle soul. That is a gift from God. Go and find out what this means:
    “So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.” John 8:36

  • @teabrown02
    @teabrown02 3 месяца назад +1

    Got DAYUM!!! The first three minutes of this call was nails on a chalkboard... Dude! Get to the meat and potatoes already.

  • @genelewis2481
    @genelewis2481 3 месяца назад +3

    Dr John is right again! We’re all human!!

  • @youcancallmemaurice
    @youcancallmemaurice 3 месяца назад +2

    If she would cheat with you, she'll cheat on you. Walk.

  • @kekejefferson9219
    @kekejefferson9219 3 месяца назад +1

    "Maybe next lifetimeeeee"

  • @Kwk16534
    @Kwk16534 3 месяца назад +1

    ❤❤ dude you have this Antonio Banderas voice hot as hell you just need to ask whether the woman is married first before you proceed

  • @mmmd3429
    @mmmd3429 3 месяца назад

    Ride it out and have a good time.

  • @FreeSpirit47
    @FreeSpirit47 3 месяца назад +2

    Alexander is a himbo with someone who is in limbo.

  • @experimentalbaker
    @experimentalbaker 3 месяца назад +3

    If they’ll do it with you, they’ll do it to you. And sure she’s never done it before……