I Found Out My Girlfriend Was Married

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  • Опубликовано: 3 фев 2025
  • I Found Out My Girlfriend Was Married
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Комментарии • 546

  • @Aminah6623
    @Aminah6623 10 месяцев назад +1228

    Sir, if your girlfriend has a husband she's not your girlfriend. She's her husband's wife and you're her side piece.

    • @80sbrunnette
      @80sbrunnette 10 месяцев назад +73

      I’m the mistress ? - Michael Scott

    • @snsn7251
      @snsn7251 10 месяцев назад +13

      I was literally coming to make this comment. Well said

    • @texan903
      @texan903 10 месяцев назад +43

      At this point, she's neither a wife nor a girlfriend. She belongs to the community.

    • @Username0467
      @Username0467 10 месяцев назад +10

      @@texan903 Still a person, goddamn.

    • @texan903
      @texan903 10 месяцев назад +15

      @@Username0467 Still loose and has become property of the community.

  • @dudeorduuude5211
    @dudeorduuude5211 10 месяцев назад +527

    With 8 billion people on Earth, there is no need to settle for messy situations.

    • @kimberlyfloyd1009
      @kimberlyfloyd1009 10 месяцев назад +4

      So true!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • @RepentImmediately
      @RepentImmediately 10 месяцев назад +6

      Married people are the main people settling

    • @romans52345-cy3tq
      @romans52345-cy3tq 10 месяцев назад +19

      A woman would never date a man who lives with his mother but she would date a man who lives with his wife

    • @shanandananscoo
      @shanandananscoo 10 месяцев назад

      @@romans52345-cy3tq unrelated to this situation. LOL

    • @shanandananscoo
      @shanandananscoo 10 месяцев назад +10

      Is this so? 8 billion?
      For a given human, narrow that down to the number of single people of the preferred gender who live close enough and actually cross-paths with enough to start flirting...... I'd say the number is more like 2 or 3 at best.

  • @ufchighlights1
    @ufchighlights1 10 месяцев назад +222

    This dude is smart. I think he just got caught up in what the heart wants. Sometimes logic goes out the window

    • @bruderfaust5021
      @bruderfaust5021 10 месяцев назад

      Sometimes the nuts want what the nuts want

    • @JohnWilliams-cx3ip
      @JohnWilliams-cx3ip 10 месяцев назад +23

      Not his heart but maybe another piece of his anatomy.

    • @inthesameuniverse
      @inthesameuniverse 9 месяцев назад +1

      @@JohnWilliams-cx3ipoh!

    • @kidsyx
      @kidsyx 4 месяца назад

      Hes not smart. This is like when someone breaks something, they fix it, then claim to be the one the remedies the situation. Uh, you also made the situation messed up in the first place... you dont get to be the villan of the story then claim to be the hero when all you did was reverse the situation.

  • @SiGr10614
    @SiGr10614 10 месяцев назад +714

    A, she is a liar,
    B, she will cheat and Lie to you,
    C, get her out of your life, FAST!!

    • @its_just_me_acb
      @its_just_me_acb 10 месяцев назад +11

      What? She told him and he still dated her

    • @probablynot1368
      @probablynot1368 10 месяцев назад +21

      Yes, so he knows the inevitable:
      D. If she does it with you, she’ll do it to you

    • @mikef2811
      @mikef2811 10 месяцев назад +13

      If she cheats on her husband, she will cheat on you later on if you stay.

    • @JakeStewart1343
      @JakeStewart1343 10 месяцев назад +11

      "D" is her hobby

    • @daletrautman2626
      @daletrautman2626 10 месяцев назад

      And they always have a roster of guys they are texting and you are being moved up or down on that list.They are basically whores.

  • @joywebster2678
    @joywebster2678 10 месяцев назад +101

    To all single people, when someone claims they are " leaving their current spouse" and you will be the new partner, RUN. If they are truly interested they can look you up when they have completed their OLD business. Stop playing side/chick/dude to a married person who has no interest in leaving their current situation, but LIES and gaslights you that it will happen. So make them demonstrate its done. 9/10 the spouse has no clue that their marriage is going anywhere and side person ends up the fool.

    • @Zahnclassof95
      @Zahnclassof95 10 месяцев назад +4

      Amen ❤ I agree 💯

    • @thequirkychristian
      @thequirkychristian 9 месяцев назад +7

      Agreed! I got jumped on in a Facebook singles group for saying that I would never date someone who is separated. I was told that I could be potentially missing out on a great guy just because I’m judgmental. 😂 But I have seen too many situations where people say they are separated, but never actually get a divorce. Or it takes a few years to get the divorce. I don’t even understand why anyone would want to start a new relationship when they’re still attached to an old one, even if it’s just legally

  • @droptozro
    @droptozro 10 месяцев назад +473

    If I listened correctly, he didn't "found out"--he knew almost immediately upon meeting up with her in person after messaging her online... and went into it anyways.

    • @melanieb2132
      @melanieb2132 10 месяцев назад +33

      Well, she was evasive, and he didn't push hard enough for the info.
      Ultimately, it's on him...

    • @truthreigns3465
      @truthreigns3465 10 месяцев назад

      Typical simp

    • @ForAncientKingAndElvishLord
      @ForAncientKingAndElvishLord 10 месяцев назад +3

      Yes, exactly.

    • @yoloswagthuglifeselfie568
      @yoloswagthuglifeselfie568 10 месяцев назад +13

      @@melanieb2132it’s the man’s fault of course

    • @IrishFrank22
      @IrishFrank22 10 месяцев назад +46

      ​@@melanieb2132It's the wife fault. She is married and should not be with other men except her husband.

  • @angryox3102
    @angryox3102 10 месяцев назад +130

    Even without the moral concerns, that’s a dangerous spot to be. You do not want a scorned spouse angry at you.

    • @montecarlo4294
      @montecarlo4294 10 месяцев назад +4

      You’re right. However, years ago, an angry spouse was something to definitely be concerned about. But these days, men who get cheated on don’t do anything. Not like they would have years ago. I wish they still did do something to put the fear of the Lord in the hearts of the men who sleep with their wives. But, sadly, in most cases now, they just let it roll right off like water off a duck’s back

    • @genelewis2481
      @genelewis2481 10 месяцев назад

      ⁠@@montecarlo4294it happened to me and the only reason I didn’t end him is because I wanted to continue to be a father for my son. Hard to do that from prison but it has nothing to do with acceptance or “letting it roll”!! Some things are more important than revenge or pride.

    • @FreeSpirit47
      @FreeSpirit47 10 месяцев назад

      @@montecarlo4294 Vigilante justice, sometimes is called for. It can be done, legally, people simply don't care enough to implement it.
      A law was passed in New York in 1907 making it legal for SOs to sue for cheating on them. 15 US states also have laws that have been used where one spouse sued another for cheating on them.
      If a person gathers the evidence, wants to go through the anguish of a lawsuit, it has been done successfully.

    • @kellywade8275
      @kellywade8275 10 месяцев назад

      @@montecarlo4294 Please get some help.🙏🏾

    • @mvubu6823
      @mvubu6823 10 месяцев назад +9

      ​@@montecarlo4294
      Not dice i would ever want to roll...
      This lady is DANGEROUS herself

  • @MartilyRamagado
    @MartilyRamagado 10 месяцев назад +149

    GF got herself a Grandpa-Husband and Sidedude-Lover. She didn't play him, she played the old man.

    • @francestaylor9156
      @francestaylor9156 10 месяцев назад +24

      Or she played everyone.

    • @Mica-e4p
      @Mica-e4p 8 месяцев назад +5

      The old man knew exactly what he was getting in to.

  • @betty5799
    @betty5799 10 месяцев назад +43

    I think it’s good that he actually feels bad, it means he is a good human being. You have no idea how much a man that makes You.

  • @lorainefleeman6011
    @lorainefleeman6011 10 месяцев назад +110

    The caller is actually very wise. He realized even before this call that she will cheat on him, and wants to end it.

    • @Cafeallday222
      @Cafeallday222 7 месяцев назад +1

      He knows he did something wrong. He is wise for sure. I don’t think he’ll repeat this. She was probably tempting because he had a hubby so she felt more disconnected in a way whereas single women, who are actually available, make him run because it’s more realistic he’ll actually end up with her. He knew the married woman wasn’t so easily obtainable and so it’s less scary. It all adds up.

  • @figgityfly
    @figgityfly 10 месяцев назад +52

    This guy needs to run. My son’s father(an ex) just got a marrried woman pregnant. She lives with her “estranged” husband and their 16 year old son in the same home. My son’s father is a wealthy man and now this woman got her meal ticket to financially exit her marriage and acquire child support. This woman chased him all year even while he was with other women and told him she couldn’t get pregnant at 42 years old due to endometriosis. He fell for this and made decisions with the wrong head. Please leave married and red flag women alone.

  • @wikitaeu
    @wikitaeu 10 месяцев назад +16

    I truly adore how John listens without judgement.

    • @FlappyBelly
      @FlappyBelly 9 месяцев назад

      And why no one will fix themselves... people need judgement.

    • @FlappyBelly
      @FlappyBelly 9 месяцев назад

      No regerts...YOLO... Puke

  • @BillTheConquerer
    @BillTheConquerer 9 месяцев назад +16

    This is the kind of therapy men need. Honest. Direct. Supportive. Practical. The caller takes responsibility for choices, but doesn't know how to move forward. I wish more therapists did this with men. We might see a positive change in the internal narratives men carry. Thank you, Dr. John.

  • @Annie-ex3ge
    @Annie-ex3ge 10 месяцев назад +43

    "I'm usually running from relationships, self- sabotaging..." she was great as long as she was married. Now she is available for him, he is sabotaging the relationship and running again...

    • @tcggggg
      @tcggggg 10 месяцев назад +8

      He self sabotaged accepting her into his life knowing she had a husband. This isnt a “relationship” to even be running from.

    • @-glitch-8195
      @-glitch-8195 10 месяцев назад +5

      He's suffering from a deep kind of self-hatred. One that tells you that you don't deserve to be loved. He was deprived of it when he was younger. So he still carries that around. He was attracted to her because in some ways, she reminded him of his mother's situation. He's still taking the hit for that. Poor guy.

    • @Cafeallday222
      @Cafeallday222 7 месяцев назад

      Ding ding ding

  • @commanderbarbie2550
    @commanderbarbie2550 10 месяцев назад +168

    Time to run away. Fast.

  • @stephenwishburne1034
    @stephenwishburne1034 10 месяцев назад +14

    I’ve been a little critical of your approach Dr. John with some of your previous sessions. But the advice you gave here and the treatment you gave this man makes me happy to call you a brother in our effort to decrease suffering in the world! I’m proud of you John!

    • @mrv2308
      @mrv2308 7 месяцев назад

      He’s way to soft. This dude is going to get karma bad.

  • @ntDR1313
    @ntDR1313 10 месяцев назад +39

    Alexander, you are worth more than that, I wish you much love, healing and self forgiveness.

  • @JeremyS86
    @JeremyS86 10 месяцев назад +88

    he kinda sounds like myself not long ago. its tough to have a healthy relationship, when you've never seen one personally.

    • @Lauren-i8i
      @Lauren-i8i 10 месяцев назад +12

      How Not to be Married:
      My Dad was abusive and our family was extremely dysfunctional.
      In my 20’s it took me awhile to figure out that it would be a good idea if I picked someone opposite of my Dad.
      In other words, someone who wasn’t a dictator who ruled with an iron fist & cheated on their Spouse.
      Learning the finer nuances of good communication & things like conflict resolution came later.
      Growing up I never saw a healthy relationship but it didn’t seem like rocket science:
      How to Be Married:
      1. Don’t abuse your partner.
      2. Don’t abuse the kids.
      3. Give your Spouse the same respect you want to have.
      4. Don’t be selfish.
      5. Don’t cheat.
      6. Get professional help with any personal issues you can’t resolve on your own.
      28 years later & it’s worked in my marriage.
      💕

    • @lillybethford1915
      @lillybethford1915 10 месяцев назад +4

      I agree to extent, because you don’t need to do drugs to know it’s bad for you. Having good character won’t allow you to be with a married man/woman.

    • @addiskassa5165
      @addiskassa5165 10 месяцев назад

      ​@user-ex3mx7hk4l good for you! You are so wise! God blessed!🙏👍👊🙌

    • @Suzette-gb7uj
      @Suzette-gb7uj 10 месяцев назад +2

      I am sad that you have never had role models to show you what healthy relationships looks like.

    • @JeremyS86
      @JeremyS86 10 месяцев назад +1

      @Xzy-rv2nu not my thing

  • @annelouise-qz9vx
    @annelouise-qz9vx 10 месяцев назад +15

    If you ask the question, "do you have somebody" and the answer is, I do, but it's complicated", the person is NOT AVAILABLE!!! Do not , do not, do not get involved with anyone is not 100% available. If you do, be prepared for heartache. Do not settle for an unhealthy situation.

  • @NotGwenNotWalton
    @NotGwenNotWalton 10 месяцев назад +8

    Thank you!! This show really helped me in my inability to forgive myself for my stupid mistakes. I have some letters to write!!

  • @rz8753
    @rz8753 10 месяцев назад +7

    I like the way dr John explains guilt and shame , this is very helpful

  • @bisi1980
    @bisi1980 10 месяцев назад +37

    A lot of people from broken homes chose toxic relationships that they know will fail to justify their belief that relationships are harmful and they hurt.

    • @MikeyPaper
      @MikeyPaper 10 месяцев назад +1

      This is too true.

  • @felisleo101
    @felisleo101 10 месяцев назад +43

    “So you’re saying…there might be a chance!” 😂

  • @Charlies1970TA
    @Charlies1970TA 10 месяцев назад +32

    Wow, I was buying into his story until John pointed out this talk was about her and not him. Progress was made once the caller understood he needed to focus on himself!

  • @spricket24
    @spricket24 10 месяцев назад +8

    He deserves so much better than this and deserves to be loved and held in a high status - I hope he gets some help to see the light and starts to value himself. He will attract someone who treats him so much better than this if he does resolve his issues ❤ I wish that for you all as well.

    • @jones2277
      @jones2277 10 месяцев назад +3

      why does he deserve better? he knew going in that she was marrried.

    • @spricket24
      @spricket24 10 месяцев назад

      @@jones2277 because of his childhood trauma he suffered through

    • @evelyndaisy9722
      @evelyndaisy9722 10 месяцев назад +1

      He knew she was married and still pursued her.

    • @spricket24
      @spricket24 10 месяцев назад +1

      @@evelyndaisy9722 Yup - and he deserves to be with someone who is not married and to heal his trauma.

    • @spricket24
      @spricket24 10 месяцев назад +1

      @@jones2277 Because he deserves to be with someone who is not married and to heal his trauma - hence - deserves better.

  • @OasisWullie1872
    @OasisWullie1872 7 месяцев назад +2

    I'm a self saboteur; it's ruined my life and in maturity, I realise it was all down to abandonment issues from childhood...I found this so relatable.

  • @fordkd1
    @fordkd1 10 месяцев назад +25

    I had a relationship similar, not married but with a friend ex. Totally regretted it and beat myself up about it for years. Finally, I asked God to forgive me and I had to forgive myself. I wasn't in a good place when I got into the relationship. Took time to get over and then I heard the song, I'm clean by Natalie Grant. I realized I was and owe none of those people in that process anything. The guilt was lifted off my shoulders

    • @thomaspugh9969
      @thomaspugh9969 10 месяцев назад +5

      You don't owe the friend an apology?

    • @Dogscatsbikes
      @Dogscatsbikes 10 месяцев назад +1

      You heard a song

    • @waynepolo6193
      @waynepolo6193 10 месяцев назад +3

      Jesus might have sacrificed himself for your sins, but your friend did not.

    • @fordkd1
      @fordkd1 10 месяцев назад

      @@thomaspugh9969 I actually did, but that's a story for another day

    • @mrv2308
      @mrv2308 7 месяцев назад

      You are gojng to get yours had too! Karma is coming for you and you deserve it.

  • @Hello_jo
    @Hello_jo 10 месяцев назад +71

    Gosh I am so glad I’m not in a relationship. So much energy.

    • @jenna_bee_you
      @jenna_bee_you 10 месяцев назад +14

      For real! It’s solving problems constantly…problems you wouldn’t have if you were single 😂😂

    • @davidharman7245
      @davidharman7245 10 месяцев назад +2

      Are you devoting that energy into something else which is rewarding to you? Or are you pursuing a simpler life? (both have benefits)
      p.s. That is a rhetorical question.

    • @RepentImmediately
      @RepentImmediately 10 месяцев назад

      Being single is always the simpler way of living regardless of how you're using your time ​@@davidharman7245

    • @Hello_jo
      @Hello_jo 10 месяцев назад +3

      @@davidharman7245 Which question is rhetorical?

    • @StrongerThanBigfoot
      @StrongerThanBigfoot 10 месяцев назад

      @@Hello_jo You close to West Virginia? You'll fall in love with me. I'm gods gift to women

  • @c.ro.w8191
    @c.ro.w8191 10 месяцев назад +32

    Ok the fact that she is 35 and married to a 60 yr old man should raise a lot of questions. Especially since she seems to lead a completely different lifestyle than her husband. So many red flags with her. She is probably pretty wild and needed someone who would offer stability. Like a father figure. He should walk away and get some support. She needs to figure her sh#$ out.

    • @merricat3025
      @merricat3025 10 месяцев назад +8

      I am wondering if he had money

    • @what.the.whatever
      @what.the.whatever 10 месяцев назад +5

      Look I'm 32 and wouldn't be with someone that old. My dad is 70 and just because you can doesn't mean you should... the thought of being with someone thirty years younger than me makes me cringe

  • @mwhe3111
    @mwhe3111 10 месяцев назад +38

    Yep...if she'll cheat with you, she'll cheat on you. Dude...gain some self-respect.

  • @Roaming725
    @Roaming725 10 месяцев назад +6

    That part about *how* to forgive yourself is really helpful, thank you.

  • @biolife3274
    @biolife3274 10 месяцев назад +37

    It's definitely not over. Only over if she decides. He'll go back.

  • @katyedwards3935
    @katyedwards3935 10 месяцев назад +97

    Break up with her.

  • @debrarobinson-x6s
    @debrarobinson-x6s 10 месяцев назад +2

    I don’t think we forgive ourselves enough. That’s great advice and something I’ll take with me, thank you!

  • @fivespeed3026
    @fivespeed3026 10 месяцев назад +6

    This happened to me except we were dating first. She met an older doctor and married him and I had no idea until he contacted me. It was heartbreaking for both of us. He ended up drinking himself to death. I moved on.

    • @mrv2308
      @mrv2308 7 месяцев назад

      Karma will hit you.

  • @EmilyLucille523
    @EmilyLucille523 10 месяцев назад +15

    I almost choked on my gum and broke out laughing when he said, “I should’ve known then when she said ‘I do, but it’s complicated’”! 🤣🤣🤣Red flags for sure! Hello!!! 🚩🚩🚩

  • @Teachloveandkindness
    @Teachloveandkindness 10 месяцев назад +9

    I was extremely disappointed in the comments here. If the roles were switched y'all would have been making every excuse in the book. He obviously has a lot of childhood trauma he needs to heal and grow from. I come from a very similar background and I hope and pray you heal sir. I wish you all the best and please ignore the nasty comments. Most of them sound like they need God or a good talking to from Dr. John themselves.

  • @kadaessig1459
    @kadaessig1459 Месяц назад

    I don’t know why but when you said “that’s a good dude that did a dumb thing” it really hit me. Shame is so hard to deal with, thanks for the videos John!

  • @ceciliaaznaran3317
    @ceciliaaznaran3317 10 месяцев назад +5

    At least he recognized he made a mistake and felt that it was not ok. Deep down infedility issues stem from situations from our upbringing. In my belief as long as you honestly regret and ask God for forgiveness, you will feel much better.

  • @genxx2724
    @genxx2724 10 месяцев назад +7

    Some people who have commitment issues purposely choose relationships they know will not work out. That way the relationship fails without their having done anything wrong or ended it, and they can keep believing that they want a relationship and they were wronged.

  • @tigernotwoods914
    @tigernotwoods914 10 месяцев назад +8

    She’s for the streets bruh. Let it go. Run.

  • @mewgiah8057
    @mewgiah8057 10 месяцев назад +18

    The comments are being way too hard on this caller. It's true he should have known better and is responsible for his actions. But people are missing the part where the girl said "it was complicated" and implied to him that the relationship was over (or on the way to being over). The caller is also using hindsight to say "i should have known better" because yeah the way she worded that was sketch. But it doesn't take into account that she lied when they first met and persuaded him that her relationship was on its last legs. Its only after the fact he realizes it was a complete lie and he should have picked up on it.
    Also most cheaters or people who do bad things, don't give it a second thought. They don't feel any guilt. This guy does. He's actually taking responsibility for his actions and recognizes he did a bad thing. He's taking steps to fix himself. Again, I'm not saying people cant be critical of him. But I just don't get why so many are kicking him while he's down and acting as if he doesn't already know he messed up.

    • @alissonvonderlane862
      @alissonvonderlane862 10 месяцев назад +2

      I think he heard what his heart wanted him to hear...

    • @DuffyGabi
      @DuffyGabi 10 месяцев назад +4

      No, it wasn’t complicated. He crossed the line with a woman who was still married and then he went farther and farther across that line. He was not a victim or manipulated. He knew exactly where this could head because he was thinking with his small head from day one.

    • @nimbzclowd
      @nimbzclowd 9 месяцев назад

      You must be new here. This channel bashes men for breathing wrong and puts women on a pedestal no matter what. He doesn't have them take accountability. The same stuff he'd say to a man he wouldn't a women even if they had similar stories

    • @Albertdoessomething-df9vr
      @Albertdoessomething-df9vr 9 месяцев назад

      "its was complicated" is the reason not to engage. Let them first be single/divorced legally, mentally, emotionally etc

    • @mrv2308
      @mrv2308 7 месяцев назад

      No he knew exactly what was up. He dresses everything bad that is coming his way. He is going to fall in love hard after working on himself and she will cheat.

  • @Hope4Life26
    @Hope4Life26 10 месяцев назад +3

    This is why therapy is important for some people. Childhood trauma is real and needs to be dealt with before entering a relationship if you want a HEALTHY relationship.

  • @AnimsOnDemand
    @AnimsOnDemand 10 месяцев назад +17

    Sounds like he hasn't thinking with the right head and now he's realizing not that she was married but that he messed up.

    • @mrv2308
      @mrv2308 7 месяцев назад

      Karmas going to come for him.

  • @RealAnimeBadGuy
    @RealAnimeBadGuy 10 месяцев назад +22

    Motorcycles and bodybuilding? I'd be hypnotized too.

    • @Mr_Santo5
      @Mr_Santo5 10 месяцев назад +15

      I don't know but that's masculine energy to me. I prefer feminine women.

    • @RealAnimeBadGuy
      @RealAnimeBadGuy 10 месяцев назад +5

      @@Mr_Santo5 it's just people liking what they like, no “masculine energy”

    • @morgancardinale6098
      @morgancardinale6098 10 месяцев назад +8

      ​@@RealAnimeBadGuy Women into bodybuilding and motorcycles definitely harness masculine energy. You can like whatever you like, but it doesn't make the statement wrong.

    • @RealAnimeBadGuy
      @RealAnimeBadGuy 10 месяцев назад +6

      @@morgancardinale6098 it does though a motorcycle is a mode of transportation not a men-only thing. Neither is bodybuilding. That's exactly why there are male and female competitors. Getting from point A to be or building your body is not gender based

    • @GIRLINA101
      @GIRLINA101 10 месяцев назад +5

      ​@@morgancardinale6098She's a firefighter, too. Interesting.

  • @santafilipina9020
    @santafilipina9020 10 месяцев назад +33

    Get her out of your life completely. Block her on social and phone. Avoid the same gym and biking friends circles. Don't look her up. These are easy to do if you get a life. The weakest time is when you're lonely so make sure you have a couple of good friends you can call when this happens.

    • @HaydeeNunez
      @HaydeeNunez 10 месяцев назад +1

      This is excellent advice! I hope he sees your comment and actually implements it in his life.

    • @hollyj2925
      @hollyj2925 10 месяцев назад +1

      Great advice!

  • @JulietActual
    @JulietActual 10 месяцев назад +27

    I feel bad for the chick's husband who can't defend himself. Both are at fault. Unfortunately we hear these stories all the time where people get hurt because they decided to keep the affair going. Stop the bs. You knew what she was about from the jump. You're not innocent in this as you took ownership of and thats great. But dude. Forgive yourself and tell her husband.... work on yourself & dont get into relationships until you heal. end the relationship. Save a brother or sister in this situation. Stop fkn with people's feelings.

    • @RepentImmediately
      @RepentImmediately 10 месяцев назад +2

      Why would he tell the husband? 😂 He would probably get his ass kicked.

    • @genxx2724
      @genxx2724 10 месяцев назад

      Don’t tell the husband. That’s looking for drama.

    • @JulietActual
      @JulietActual 10 месяцев назад +2

      @auemmjee real men does these. I highly doubt he'll want to throw hands unless hes a simp. You telling me you wouldn't tell another man his wife I cheating on him?

    • @JulietActual
      @JulietActual 10 месяцев назад +3

      @genxx2724 you ain't looking for drama. I'd want to know if someone was cheating. But I guess some people rather not know it's on them I guess

  • @snowflake2910
    @snowflake2910 9 месяцев назад

    You deserve better. You deserve someone who will be honest and committed and you’re wasting time with someone who doesn’t deserve you. She is keeping you from who you’re meant to be with.

  • @KiingShooter24
    @KiingShooter24 9 месяцев назад +2

    I’m Dominican, close to his age and I felt that when he spoke of our culture, it’s true.

  • @joycephillips831
    @joycephillips831 10 месяцев назад +4

    Great advice Dr John.

  • @KristelD
    @KristelD 10 месяцев назад +5

    1:47 "I do but it's complicated". So she was honest from the beginning that she was in a relationship, he ignored that and now is upset about the situation he has put himself in?

  • @celitacantrill10
    @celitacantrill10 10 месяцев назад +3

    Alexander, please do write that letter to yourself. I've done that particular therapy, which is very helpful. I wish you peace Alexander and best regards, Celita

  • @alexandereisen3486
    @alexandereisen3486 8 месяцев назад +3

    Nothing he can do other than forgive himself, try to learn from his mistakes, and move on.

    • @mrv2308
      @mrv2308 7 месяцев назад

      He’s going to fall in love and karma is going to hit him bad. And he deserves it.

    • @alexandereisen3486
      @alexandereisen3486 7 месяцев назад

      @@mrv2308 maybe but it still doesn’t negate what I said. Even if that happens all he can do is accept that he’s been humbled and keep walking.

  • @SavageSweetie
    @SavageSweetie 2 месяца назад

    Words of wisdom I heard is " how they enter your life is how they will leave your life." Choose to use this wisedom as you wish.

  • @alissonvonderlane862
    @alissonvonderlane862 10 месяцев назад +4

    You loose 'em how you get 'em!

  • @sa_ly
    @sa_ly 10 месяцев назад +5

    Who loves you and respect YOU, and themselves will never put into a triangle. 😪 .

  • @domirican81
    @domirican81 10 месяцев назад +15

    He added her on facebook, he definitely knew she was married. She’s a 304, nothing new.

  • @ponygirlusa
    @ponygirlusa 10 месяцев назад +8

    Sure. The old "my spouse doesn't understand me" trope. If they'll cheat on their spouse they'll cheat on you.

  • @alluringbliss4165
    @alluringbliss4165 10 месяцев назад +46

    Soul ties, not fun. Gotta pray on it.

    • @Youtubedeltesallmycomments
      @Youtubedeltesallmycomments 10 месяцев назад +3

      Nah karmic ties.
      The nasty gotta go ones 😂

    • @JakobPGrau
      @JakobPGrau 10 месяцев назад +4

      Soul ties are not biblical.

    • @Youtubedeltesallmycomments
      @Youtubedeltesallmycomments 10 месяцев назад +2

      @@JakobPGrau
      They are that is why there is confusion 😂😂😂

    • @coriemmett1363
      @coriemmett1363 10 месяцев назад +5

      Yep I’ve had to do that and give to Jesus.

    • @alluringbliss4165
      @alluringbliss4165 10 месяцев назад +5

      @@JakobPGrau it certainly is. God himself delivered me.

  • @wenchyfoodwench4098
    @wenchyfoodwench4098 10 месяцев назад +8

    She’s an adulterer. He’s participating in it shame on him.

  • @ColletaMaloba.
    @ColletaMaloba. 4 месяца назад +1

    Side note. I love his accent 😮😊

  • @DaniiiDaniii8
    @DaniiiDaniii8 10 месяцев назад +5

    If she cheats on her HUSBAND... What do you think she 'll do to you??? 😮 Walk away from that mess

  • @evelyndaisy9722
    @evelyndaisy9722 10 месяцев назад +4

    She told him ,” she’s married and it’s complicated “. He should’ve walked away right there. She has drama. She’s probably using them both .

  • @genelewis2481
    @genelewis2481 10 месяцев назад +3

    Dr John is right again! We’re all human!!

  • @Crypt007
    @Crypt007 9 месяцев назад +1

    This is exactly the way I feel when I look in the mirror

  • @DEE-o4v
    @DEE-o4v 10 месяцев назад +8

    Once a cheater..always a cheater. Run from this woman.

    • @mrv2308
      @mrv2308 7 месяцев назад

      Right she told him she had an affair before and he will got with her while married. Karma is gojng to hit him bad.

  • @LeahMarshals22
    @LeahMarshals22 10 месяцев назад +6

    Don’t get involved in a marriage. Period.

    • @7beers
      @7beers 5 месяцев назад

      Why are you anti-marriage?

  • @oraclepanda
    @oraclepanda 10 месяцев назад +19

    This is why it's hard to pick a forever life partner. You can be tempted to infidelity much easier if you're not really into the partner. It sounds like this woman has a personality disorder and she's seeking security while also not being happy. Be careful who you marry, no matter what position you're in.

    • @ntDR1313
      @ntDR1313 10 месяцев назад

      She was upfront about her "complicated" situation.... there's always 2 sides to the story. Perhaps she's trapped in a Narcissistic/controlling or manipulative "unloving" relationship. Perhaps she is seeking a bit of love and validation which she so rightly deserves and not getting at home 🤔 ... just a thought ❤

    • @Dansyoung
      @Dansyoung 10 месяцев назад +4

      @@ntDR1313If she was in a relationship she isn’t happy with she should end it and not start a side relationship/affair. If you are a victim of something that doesn’t mean you get a free pass to hurt other people around you.

    • @RepentImmediately
      @RepentImmediately 10 месяцев назад +1

      There's no reason to pick a forever partner.

    • @Dansyoung
      @Dansyoung 10 месяцев назад +2

      @@wordsalad01Agreed, this is a manipulation thing where they can twist and contort anything to justify bad actions.

    • @ntDR1313
      @ntDR1313 10 месяцев назад

      @@Dansyoung 100% I do agree there's no free pass.

  • @iamlovingawareness2284
    @iamlovingawareness2284 10 месяцев назад +7

    My now wife was in a relationship before me. When we became friends she was married to an abusive man. We started to have feelings for each other during their separation. For better or worse, we’ve been married for 10 years now with 3 kids. We are best friends and our relationship only has gotten better through time. I understand people’s judgement about people in my situation, I suppose I justified our initial relationship by saying to myself that her then husband was an awful person and she was already escaping. Maybe I did the wrong thing but we’ve built a life, a homestead, and 3 wonderful children from that situation. How can I regret it? Given the subject of this video.

    • @proudatheist2042
      @proudatheist2042 10 месяцев назад +4

      The fact that your wife's ex husband was abusive is a gigantic factor. I think people will judge your wife less harshly because an abusive relationship destroys people in it, so her ex-husband never would have been a decent husband to begin with. She left to save herself, not for the thrill of forbidden "kicks."

    • @lpl433
      @lpl433 10 месяцев назад +3

      Sounds like that marriage was dead and only needed to be sorted legally. Most cases people shouldn’t involve themselves romantically with married people no matter how bad the marriage is. Happy urs worked out.

    • @JourneyDestination
      @JourneyDestination 10 месяцев назад

      @@proudatheist2042this is the same excuse all Women use for cheating

    • @cdw5176
      @cdw5176 9 месяцев назад

      nah brah ur a home wrecker and should be ashamed

  • @karendickman3208
    @karendickman3208 3 месяца назад

    Great advice. I forgave myself over 20 yrs ago. There's freedom in forgiveness of self & to the other person.

  • @timlamb1156
    @timlamb1156 18 дней назад

    You know we all know what he did was wrong, but goodness you have mercy on people when their life’s have been so heavily hurt by their parents. I love how John helps them clearly see they are wrong and then showing them the way forward. Don’t stay were you are because your afraid to change.

  • @theslavemotivator3571
    @theslavemotivator3571 10 месяцев назад +13

    I love you john

  • @nancygorman
    @nancygorman 10 месяцев назад +3

    Jesus loves you and forgives you! ❤❤❤ Writing the letter to self is so powerful. Love it.

  • @LS-ry5ey
    @LS-ry5ey 15 дней назад

    That news should be ENOUGH EVIDENCE to literally cut all contact/block absolutely everywhere and never ever speak to this person again. You didn't deserve the lie, but you owe it to yourself to dust yourself off and never speak to this person again.

  • @Aminah6623
    @Aminah6623 10 месяцев назад +6

    Sounds like he thought it would be short-term and fell for that thang. He won't leave.

    • @jones2277
      @jones2277 10 месяцев назад +1

      exactly.

  • @SnowFoxParty
    @SnowFoxParty 4 месяца назад

    Him owning up to this and calling you is a true man there and he understands he saw the red flags

  • @MisterKilogram
    @MisterKilogram 10 месяцев назад +5

    Walk away and block her. If you mess around with another man's wife, you're going to find out. (Proverbs 6:34) For jealousy is the rage of a man: therefore he will not spare in the day of vengeance.

    • @lynette599
      @lynette599 Месяц назад

      Ssme goes for women.

  • @qfbaby22
    @qfbaby22 10 месяцев назад +2

    Damn. I’m almost going through this exact situation and it’s ruined me.

    • @mrv2308
      @mrv2308 7 месяцев назад

      So you knew the person was married?

  • @23kppadilla
    @23kppadilla 10 месяцев назад +1

    Sht happens so you either work around it or you leave 😂😂😂
    She has an appetite for life😂😂😂

  • @keywestfan2503
    @keywestfan2503 9 месяцев назад

    It’s clear why he did it.
    When someone has a void, and then along comes someone who is beautiful, is fun, is laughing at your jokes, is looking at you a certain way no one else has….
    Man, you’re going to take every bit of that energy in.

  • @21truthbetold
    @21truthbetold 10 месяцев назад +3

    How could he say she was fake if HE knew she was married the whole time? He is just as fake! He knows he’s not a genuine person but he’s blaming her for it. And after she left her husband, he no longer wants her, so he was only attracted to the fact she belonged to someone else so technically the woman wasn’t available. Like he said he self sabotages, and only wanted her when she wasn’t available.

  • @matrixxxx6263
    @matrixxxx6263 4 месяца назад

    My partner once was in the same situation. He loved a woman that was still married. He got rid of her....I am still disgusted of it 🤮

  • @OneandonlyD
    @OneandonlyD 10 месяцев назад +3

    Sounds like he's a big guy who is desperate for love.

  • @EtoCobra
    @EtoCobra 10 месяцев назад +1

    Run.

  • @mae1097
    @mae1097 10 месяцев назад +4

    You have a gentle soul. That is a gift from God. Go and find out what this means:
    “So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.” John 8:36

  • @blueseptember2174
    @blueseptember2174 10 месяцев назад

    Alexander has my respect for righting his wrongs 🙏 ❤

  • @9liveslisa
    @9liveslisa 10 месяцев назад +18

    He's human and love is a drug. He just needs to get back on track.

    • @andrewmarshall7569
      @andrewmarshall7569 10 месяцев назад +2

      Lisa, it's more than him just "getting back on track". This man is delusional and he needs a father figure to step in and set him straight immediately. In a loving way of course.

    • @9liveslisa
      @9liveslisa 10 месяцев назад +3

      @@andrewmarshall7569 You take comments way too seriously, but ok, if you say so.

    • @andrewmarshall7569
      @andrewmarshall7569 10 месяцев назад

      @@9liveslisa I was adding on to what you were saying. I'm not disagreeing with you at all, but if you have sons, you'd be doing them a favor by jumping all over this, even if they are adults.

    • @devadii24
      @devadii24 10 месяцев назад

      This sounds more like lust to me… which is even harder to overcome imo

  • @0annonymous
    @0annonymous Месяц назад

    This is why deep and thorough background checks are vital
    Had this person done a background check before dating, something like this, would have a lower chance of ever being able to happen in the first place

  • @Kwk16534
    @Kwk16534 10 месяцев назад +1

    ❤❤ dude you have this Antonio Banderas voice hot as hell you just need to ask whether the woman is married first before you proceed

  • @annjensen795
    @annjensen795 10 месяцев назад +2

    You made a mistake...but I think that the vast majority here has made a dumb mistake like this in life..BUT even more so I believe the vast majority can hear that you are a GOOD MAN! ❤️

    • @jones2277
      @jones2277 10 месяцев назад +1

      that's not a mistake. that's what's called a choice.

  • @om617yota7
    @om617yota7 10 месяцев назад +12

    Ahhh he knew from the very beginning. Alright, I'm out. Sorry bro, you did this to yourself.

  • @mmmd3429
    @mmmd3429 10 месяцев назад

    Ride it out and have a good time.

  • @leonidaslopez170
    @leonidaslopez170 10 месяцев назад +2

    You reap what you sow. You don't feel any guilt; that's a lie. You are simply now suffering, knowing that the woman you fell in love with has zero morals, same as you. And she might say to another man that her relationship with you is complicated, the same way she said that to you.
    Let's face it, you are clearly not suffering for the marriage that you helped to wreck, since the beginning you knew she was married and you did not care, you are suffering because deep down you know that no one can expect to put his hands on fire and not get burned.

  • @FreeSpirit47
    @FreeSpirit47 10 месяцев назад +3

    Alexander is a himbo with someone who is in limbo.

  • @ozzycortes
    @ozzycortes 10 месяцев назад +30

    Never ignore the 🚩🚩🚩🚩

    • @dennischiapello7243
      @dennischiapello7243 10 месяцев назад +1

      You’re so right, but I never recognize the red flags except in the rearview mirror. I see them, but my brain is high on dopamine or whatever! But the other person being married is more than a red flag. It’s a brick wall!

    • @dextermcgrubbin
      @dextermcgrubbin 10 месяцев назад

      Where's the fun in that? XD

    • @dahliaherrod4301
      @dahliaherrod4301 10 месяцев назад

      That's not even a red flag. It's just a hard boundary that he chose to bust through for his own selfish desires.

    • @ozzycortes
      @ozzycortes 10 месяцев назад +1

      @@dahliaherrod4301 Did you even listen to the video ? She's married, on social media interacting with other Men. Had an affair with a co worker. How are you going to tell me that's not a red flag ?

    • @dahliaherrod4301
      @dahliaherrod4301 10 месяцев назад +2

      @@ozzycortes A person being married isn't a red flag. A red flag is a hard stop on a relationship. There is no relationship because she's married. He's just delusional and tried to hold onto something that never existed. The woman is disgusting and deserves whatever consequences come her way, but that doesn't negate the caller's issues.

  • @mystearicanohr9521
    @mystearicanohr9521 6 месяцев назад

    I wish my dad would call and talk to Dr. John. He has issues with my mom that he occasionally lets leak out to me. But he shouldn’t. He needs to talk to someone though.
    He’s not originally from the US, so I don’t know how well he’d take to this podcasting thing.

  • @kekejefferson9219
    @kekejefferson9219 10 месяцев назад +1

    "Maybe next lifetimeeeee"

  • @christineskead1663
    @christineskead1663 10 месяцев назад

    Write two more letters....one to the husband + children and one to OUR FATHER as he graciously gave us his SON ....by HIS GRACE we are forgiven.

  • @Lucik3
    @Lucik3 10 месяцев назад

    Is this TJ mack?

  • @trey8872
    @trey8872 10 месяцев назад +6

    She wanted to spice up her life with a Latin lover. 🕺🏽

    • @hmmm2564
      @hmmm2564 10 месяцев назад +3

      How do you know that she is not Latin

    • @SaystheTruth3
      @SaystheTruth3 10 месяцев назад

      😂