You all prolly dont give a damn but does someone know of a way to log back into an Instagram account? I somehow forgot the password. I appreciate any tricks you can offer me.
@@allenvanover4009 That sigh afterwards followed by "I mean you know that that's somehow worse, right?" is even better. I have actually never watched these trash movies and was feeling pretty much the same when the plot turned out that way.
Watching the pitch meeting for breaking dawn 1+2 is what got me hooked on pitch meetings. His delivery of that line was as hard as I’ve laughed in a long time
I have never laughed as hard during a Pitch Meeting as I have at: "And then he sees the baby and he's like, 'oOooOoOoOOOoo... Are we gonna kiss right now?' 😏" "................😐 I... I don't... like that..."
You gotta admire Ryan's acting skills here. That face at the Jacob imprinting on the baby revelation and the disappointment when he realizes none of the cool stuff really happened is absolutely amazing.
The Jacob & the baby part. "I don't like that" "Oh don't worry sir, it's not weird at all, because Jacob is going to help raise the child before getting romantically involved with it." "*Sigh*....I mean you know that's somehow worse right?" Absolutely lost it.
@@braxtonlee1682 Obviously, the author of Twilight didn't want to waste her "perfect hot alpha male bad boy muscular werewolf love interest" so she HAD to give him to her self-insert protag's child :v
“I’m not loving this concept so far.” “The books sold millions of copies to brand loyal preteens with disposable income.” “I gotta say, I’m loving this concept so far.” 😂 Money does it every time
"Is it going to be difficult to meet the income quota for Screenrant's Investors?" "Actually it'll be super easy, barely an inconvenience." "Oh really?' "Yeah we'll just release another Pitch Meeting compilation." "Oh, putting our entire channel's future on Ryan George's back is TIGHT."
“I don’t like that...” “Oh, don’t worry sir...it’s not weird at all, because Jacob is going to help raise the child before getting romantically involved with it.” Never has a pitch meeting made me laugh harder.
When you really break it down like this you realise that twilight egged on an entire generation of preteens to stay in abusive relationships because they thought it was love
@@tombradydid9114 sure. We’ll meet up later but only if you promise to turn me too. And I want a snazzy little house in the Washington woods please. And my own honeymoon island.
“Let’s just say he likes to spend lots of time with other shirtless guys in the wood” “I see what is going on there” “He’s a werewolf” “ oh I was way off!” I laughed really hard
This made me wonder about the whole werewolf myth ... was it always just guys cruising in the woods? "I'm naked because werewolfing ripped all my clothes" haha right!
@@kellnola sadly it comes from heinous serial killers, raping(sometimes) their victims before ripping them apart... the earliest one I heard about, 14th century I think it was, was a southern French man who liked wearing the skin of a wolf while doing it, one of his victims got away and said she was attacked by a wolf and he also claimed that the skin let him turn into a wolf. Think the wolf of snow hollow mixed with it being real and a little more rape.
@@SimonKnight1023 Now if you wanted to know about the idea that the earlier ones could transform into wolves, that's where it gets very fragmented. You might want to look into "Lupercalia" and the founders of Rome. There were some religions (I view most cults the same as Christianity) who existed for at least a few hundred years (hence not really a cult in the modern sense) who believed they could turn into wolves using a rite at the full moon. I only know snippets about them since it was mentioned in a documentary about the history of werewolves that I saw years ago, the same one where they talked about that French serial killer.
@@kellnola Jesus, you are so right. If I look back I can't even find the reason why was Trinity interested in him and even more, love him. Dude is just confused for 3/4 of the first movie and the rest is the rescue mission. I wonder if he was purposely written so blant so that all the teenagers can "transpose" themself onto him or if it was because writers wanted to focus on the World and Matrix.
This kid that’s on my archery team and I were having a debate about if Harry Potter or Twilight was better and she said “The Harry Potter characters are boring” I replied with; “At least my characters have a shred of personality and a real reason to protect the main character” I just heard “Ooooooooh…” from all around the room.
I never understood how Jasper is the youngest of the Cullen clan. The civil war happened like 150 years ago during this movie. But previously it was said that Edward is only like 109
I had this question, too! I asked my wife, and she said that he was turned by someone else. He ended up joining the Cullen's when he meets Alice, and that is when he becomes a vegetarian vampire.
If they compressed the five movies to two, or even one, you'd have an alright story. Bella meets Edward, finds out he's a vampire, Volturi get pissed at him and he runs off. Bella depressed, Jacob helps her out, Edward comes back, they tell the Volturi to f-off and live happily ever after. Good be done in 2.5 hours
@@oncerand_directioner Me too. I also thought it was interesting when I read an interview for Variety to make sure he really was gonna play Batman that pretended to be drunk for Water for Elephants and had to actually get drunk for a scene in The Lighthouse.
@@stefanolozardo9711 Considering how well his role as Batman ends up doing...yeah, I really don't think he should hate it that much. Made him a lot of money, got a lot of fame, and his career still ended up just fine. Just a bit of suffering for mostly a win.
All of the side characters have more interesting backstories than the main characters because…idk, I guess Stephenie Meyer knows how to come up with a synopsis of an interesting backstory but has literally no other writing skill so might as well go with boring nothing girl and her worthless, absurd backasswards morality having boyfriend? (To clarify, Edward used to eat r*pists (does RUclips ban that word?) and m*rderers (same with that one, idk if RUclips allows that in comments anymore) right before they acted because, ya know, mind reading so he knew what they were about to do beyond any doubt and hence saved countless people from those monsters…and then *STOPPED* because “all life is precious” which ironically makes him far more of a monster in the story than when he used to eat people)
Fun fact: If you whisper "money" in a producer's ear a few times while you're reading them a potential script, your chance of being accepted goes up by 80%
I can imagine him sitting in cinema and from time to time repeating to himself with eyes closed: "Money, money, money, money... " while watching saga of nonsense and stupidity! 😂
@@Levi_is_Smol I disagree. I read Twilight because of the hype and the author can't describe action very well. She also lacks good characterization and I was surprised the movie actually followed the same tone instead of improving on the weaknesses of the book. They could have made the movie a lot better by deviating like what happened to other books turned into movies. But then I read Twilight not as a teen so I could see the flaws at once.
Also I feel his pain, I had to take my daughter and her friend to see everyone of these films, it was hell, Only one worse was something called Pokemon, I had no freaking idea then what it was about, nor do I now. Ugh. :)
"Romantic puking is TIGHT!" "Then he stares at her like he pooped his pants and wonders if she noticed." "Undeniably romantic!" This with the accompanying footage had me laughing harder than anything I've seen on Screen Rant. Keep up the amazing comedy.
I don't remember the movies at all but from the whole vampire fiction: vampires of the same clan can't hurt(or kill) each other, so he needs to go to another clan and ask them to kill him. Well don't quote me on that, but in several vampire stories I read this seems to be a recurring theme.
No, those other vampires just didn't die. They had their heads ripped off and became incapable of moving or doing much at all, but they didn't die. They stayed alive the entire time and can never die or be healed, just in constant pain forever.
The funniest parts of this was Money Guys reaction to the Jacob/Baby romance and his reaction when the fight turns out to be a vision... The absolute dismay is just the funniest thing ever. And I love, love, LOVE that the cure is just the word MONEY. :D
Jasper wasn’t the youngest, he was older than everyone except Carlisle. He was just the newest to the family. (I’m GENUINELY ashamed for knowing that...)
@@ninjaked1265 Well he was also uncomfortable with Bella being so much younger than Edward too, and certainly I can't deny I'm speaking from personal bias alone here, but I wouldn't put it past some Hollywood producers to find falling in love with a baby and then waiting till she's grown to be romantic.
I mean, the producer would probably actually be uncomfortable with that - but only because they know the audience will be horrified (well, except in this movie, evidently, teenagers aren't known for their great recognition of what is and isn't creepy, but whatever) and it might mess with their profit margin. But yeah, off screen the producer *is* the creepy old guy and is using the movies to groom kids. Just fantastic. This is why we don't have TV at my house lol.
"This one's called New Moon and it's gonna start with a shot of a moon!" "Ah, actually a new moon is when you CAN'T see the moon." "Oh, whoops!" "Whoopsie!"
Watching the replays and listening to his commentary makes the whole thing sound so ridiculous, but I was soooooo enthralled by the series when I was in high school. I literally didn't sleep to read through Eclipse then went to school the next day. Lotta snoring in class.
My favorite part of this is how his face just goes blank when they talk about Jacob and the baby.... like, "this is so wrong.. we just can't" and then with the "It's finally getting good... just a vision" Blank disappointment.. HAHAHAHA.. tears... literal tears!!
Seriously though, I want to watch Rosalie's movie. It's like Kill Bill, but the Bride is also a vampire. Why the hell is this not happening right now, Producer Guy?
@@adamlion3495 Never heard of literally every single slasher movie ever made? Where the deranged killer comes back from the dead to plan an elaborately prolonged creepy revenge on various teenagers who are just trying to have sex in an abandoned house? $$$$
@@coltonbates629 No kidding, he does these roles in such a hilarious way. That's why it keeps working and being fun even if it's kinda the same concept every time
As someone who was just…in love with this book series as a teen and stuck by the films even though they were terrible…I thoroughly enjoyed this roast!! You bring up many good points that are just yada yada’d away. Good stuff, funny 😆
Period "blood" is mostly uterine wall lining and mucus, but just that tiny drop of finger blood was enough to make him attack so yeah technically periods should affect vampires huh I never thought of that xD
@@lilithlaney1759 bruh ,I thought girl's periods were disgusting before... after your definition they officially became the grossest thing in existence
You really gotta wonder why they explained deeply how imprinting is solidly choosing the person you love and want to be with forever and then they just be like "woah that baby.... *i think im imprinting* "
Disturbingly romantic. It’s even more romantic than a hundred year old man breaking into a teenager’s room to watch her sleep at night. I feel like Stephanie Meyers may have some issues.
lol, when you put it like that... However imprinting is more of "eternal bond and loyalty" which is usually romance, and it can also be that she doesn't like him when she grows up so he's just an eternal butler, which is also sad and disturbing to be friend-zoned forever.
This is a work of pure genius. I'm not sure I've ever laughed so hard before. The disappointment on producer's face after learning that the newborns weren't babies is just amazing. Love it! Keep up the good work!
"And this one's gonna be called "Eclipse"" "Oh, sounds like a weird name for a movie, that's not something any rational person would stare at" Damn; I JUST now got that
Oddly, the producers love of money in this video series is his redeeming quality. He can only stand by such atrocities by focusing on what he sees as the only positive thing “money”, and we can tell that even that is a flimsy defense for him this time around. Good Guy Producer.
This Producer actually cares about the films. He even remembers continuities in long franchises like Fast & Furious and the MCU. He only ever forfeits logic for money xD
that doesn't make him a good guy it makes him a horrible person. Love of money isn't redemptive it's the reason for the entire mess in the first place.
@@kellnola Don't take it so seriously man. It's a string of goofy videos where one guy plays two people, one of which is pitching the story of an abusive, necrophiliac relationship, and the other can't find a good reason to make it other than the fact it can make him money, since it's such a horrible, plot-holey story. Just enjoy the Pitch Meetings.
Listening to this, does make you realize how much more sense Twilight would make if Bella was in college (returning to her birth state) and the Cullen "children" were pretending to be college students, and she was initially just meeting up with child hood friends, after she'd left when her parent's divorced and was only back for the occasional holiday while growing up.
"I mean I know it sounds crazy but it kinda feels like you're back on my back about manufactured conflict" "Oh I accidentally got back on that thing didn't I, I apologize"
The last little bit of sanity left in the producer guy as he contemplates life after hearing shocking and unimaginably horrific pitches is what gets me every time.
"These guys seem very manipulative and abusive."
"But they're attractive."
"Oh, then it's true love."
Romance stories in a nutshell
@@nra3zehuti781 Real life in a nutshell, most of the time lol
That fanfic took that lesson to heart.
you just described the entire franchise
You all prolly dont give a damn but does someone know of a way to log back into an Instagram account?
I somehow forgot the password. I appreciate any tricks you can offer me.
"she's like a bull. She sees a red flag and runs at it" Nice.
🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂
I am going to use this phrase in conversation
@@Suchwerewolf I'll second that
Pure gold
@@broskibrewer2187 I'll third that
I will never not love the line that completely breaks the exec
"...what are we doing here, man?"
He was broken
his face when the camera panned back and he said this line lmfao. I laughed so hard.
It was twilight that broke the executive....... That seems almost fitting
@@Sonichero151 but we doing money here..man
I don't think I have ever seen him that broken before... Speaks volumes about the quality of the twilight movies lol
The line delivery of "I don't like that" is Oscar worthy
That wasn't acting that was real disgust
@@allenvanover4009 That sigh afterwards followed by "I mean you know that that's somehow worse, right?" is even better. I have actually never watched these trash movies and was feeling pretty much the same when the plot turned out that way.
@19:40 For those looking to find it.
That's my favorite thing now
Watching the pitch meeting for breaking dawn 1+2 is what got me hooked on pitch meetings. His delivery of that line was as hard as I’ve laughed in a long time
I have never laughed as hard during a Pitch Meeting as I have at:
"And then he sees the baby and he's like, 'oOooOoOoOOOoo... Are we gonna kiss right now?' 😏"
"................😐 I... I don't... like that..."
But you have to remember....... Money👁️👄👁️
He said " friend/ brother/ protector " in his vision thing though...
Lol I died
Me too
@@janusinitiative3520 uh huh. Definitely not grooming...
His reaction to the Jacob and baby romance is everything.
19:49 "I don't like that" 😆
I laughed quite hard at the sincerity of that.
It's almost as if he broke character while staying in character. Absolutely genious.
22:44 i love that switch he does
But you have to, you have to remember. What? Money. Oh okay money!
The whole Twilight movie series in a nutshell :
A teenage girl decides whether she's gonna shag a corpse or a dog
Lmao
Shagging corps is tight!!:D
Oh ..omg why did I say that? D:
Can't find a bettter mannnn! (Pearljam)
Why not both? I mean, they are differ each other right? Talking about experiences, the wider is the better.
@@tonihandoko9706 this is the most horrific thing I’ve ever read
You gotta admire Ryan's acting skills here. That face at the Jacob imprinting on the baby revelation and the disappointment when he realizes none of the cool stuff really happened is absolutely amazing.
I don't think he was acting in either case, I'm pretty sure those were his genuine feelings lol
@@evananderson1455nah, that's just how good his acting is. *Kidding obvi*
That was my own reaction to the whole baby imprinting thing. WTAF? What are we doin' here, man?
"She's like a bull. She sees a run flag and she runs at it." Yep.
I'm not kidding when I say this was somehow the funniest thing he said for me
I laughed so much... 🤣
I’m so gonna use that line on my clumsy friend 😂
*like*
lol yesss i was looking for this comment
"She has a skeleton inside of her?"
"I mean, everybody does"
"Can you imagine, very spooky"
Technically she had two inside her at the time
That was the best part
I love the subtle callback that producer guy finds skeletons to be the scariest thing ever
Bradbury wibes.
@@eileensnow6153hahah thats so scary, you should write creepy pastas man
The Jacob & the baby part.
"I don't like that"
"Oh don't worry sir, it's not weird at all, because Jacob is going to help raise the child before getting romantically involved with it."
"*Sigh*....I mean you know that's somehow worse right?"
Absolutely lost it.
They should've just let the man stay single😔then the world wouldn't have to suffer
@@braxtonlee1682 Obviously, the author of Twilight didn't want to waste her "perfect hot alpha male bad boy muscular werewolf love interest" so she HAD to give him to her self-insert protag's child :v
I listen to this while working and I just laugh my head off so loud here that I had to stop
Errol Musk has entered the chat.
@@andrepintodude We finally broke him
I love the disappointing look after he finds out the great fight was all a vision. His heart was crushed
but... good, movie
@@dogouchu4356weeelll
@@dogouchu4356you're a teenage girl
no just no, it s garbage like evrything concerning twilight@@dogouchu4356
'Oh money, money, money...'😤
“I’m not loving this concept so far.”
“The books sold millions of copies to brand loyal preteens with disposable income.”
“I gotta say, I’m loving this concept so far.”
😂 Money does it every time
Your comment has 666 likes right now. I have a screenshot.
@@v4vndta911 You’re the first comment too 😳
Money money money money money
I do love money purposes!
Because money.
Strange but that is the best explanation for why any of Twilight exists.
"So none of it really happened"
long pause...
"What are we doin here man"
"Money"
"Oh yeah money!!!"
Of all the magnificent lines in on this channel, none made me laugh more than this.
@@MrSkrilla316 I thought the 500 gallons of blood line from the Freddy Kruger one was the best
😂
Money money 🤑
Seeing executive producer guy die a little inside because of the wolfie-baby romance is TIGHT
😁😁😁😁😁😄
:) :) :) :) :) :)
You saying “wolfie” instead of just wolf somehow made it 100x worse
@@logandh2 🤣
@@logandh2 Agreed lol.
"You know thats somehow worse, right..?"
So good.
"Is it going to be difficult to meet the income quota for Screenrant's Investors?"
"Actually it'll be super easy, barely an inconvenience."
"Oh really?'
"Yeah we'll just release another Pitch Meeting compilation."
"Oh, putting our entire channel's future on Ryan George's back is TIGHT."
Hey well how about you get wayyyy off my back
@@Mbg.2007 OH OKAY LET ME GET OFF OF THAT THING REAL QUICK
Wow wow wow wow
Did this movie just get good!?
Wow of to a great start in the meeting your quota for the "Screenrant income Pitch Meeting"
"I'm a writer"
"I guess you KINDA are"
genuinely made me lol
Well to be fair things WERE in fact written. Quality notwithstanding.
Yeah, I mean, letters were put in an order that technically made words.
So I have this idea for a movie about bestiality and necrophilia
THATS my favorite line. My husband and I say that all the time when we feel like a movie is doing too much 🤣🤣🤣
“I don’t like that...”
“Oh, don’t worry sir...it’s not weird at all, because Jacob is going to help raise the child before getting romantically involved with it.”
Never has a pitch meeting made me laugh harder.
I've laughed crazy hard at all this
Shakes my head “What are doing here man”
Well Money
@@tonyacosta4574 down boy
@@619Gotenks I kneel to nobody
The thirst is sooooo cringe 😂😂😂🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️
"What are we doing here, man?" is one of the best emotional pay-off lines in Pitch Meeting history.
“Money.”
@@hansolo235Oh, money! I like money!
Money always brings him back to reality.
@@sidearmsalphaOr distract him from reality.
When you really break it down like this you realise that twilight egged on an entire generation of preteens to stay in abusive relationships because they thought it was love
This kind of makes sense. The role models presented by the media do play a role in people's lives, wether they are fiction or not.
Nah women already think like that.
Nah, we only agreed to stay in abusive relationships with VAMPIRES for love. Everyone else blows.
@@sarahmeyers1773 I'm a vampire, can I abuse you?
@@tombradydid9114 sure. We’ll meet up later but only if you promise to turn me too. And I want a snazzy little house in the Washington woods please. And my own honeymoon island.
“Let’s just say he likes to spend lots of time with other shirtless guys in the wood”
“I see what is going on there”
“He’s a werewolf”
“ oh I was way off!”
I laughed really hard
His expression saying yeah yeah yeah got me dead lmao
This made me wonder about the whole werewolf myth ... was it always just guys cruising in the woods? "I'm naked because werewolfing ripped all my clothes" haha right!
@@kellnola sadly it comes from heinous serial killers, raping(sometimes) their victims before ripping them apart... the earliest one I heard about, 14th century I think it was, was a southern French man who liked wearing the skin of a wolf while doing it, one of his victims got away and said she was attacked by a wolf and he also claimed that the skin let him turn into a wolf. Think the wolf of snow hollow mixed with it being real and a little more rape.
@@liamnehren1054 I wish we had more information on these killers.
@@SimonKnight1023 Now if you wanted to know about the idea that the earlier ones could transform into wolves, that's where it gets very fragmented.
You might want to look into "Lupercalia" and the founders of Rome.
There were some religions
(I view most cults the same as Christianity)
who existed for at least a few hundred years
(hence not really a cult in the modern sense)
who believed they could turn into wolves using a rite at the full moon. I only know snippets about them since it was mentioned in a documentary about the history of werewolves that I saw years ago, the same one where they talked about that French serial killer.
The end was so spectacular...
"And that wolf is gonna go with the baby-"
"Money, money, money-"
"well, when you put it that way I hate it to my very core" is one of my favorite lines ever.
"Oh whoops!"
"Whoopsie!"
“Oh she has a skeleton insider her?”
“Yes, but everybody does.”
That made me laugh so hard
Can you imagine??
Since she's pregnant, she actually has two inside her at that point.
@@evapreu3011 oh! Very spooky!
Wait wait wait we have a skeleton inside of us?! Ohh spooky.
“What are we doing here man?” Is my favorite 🤣😂
MONEY 💰
Why does he keep forgetting that money exist when something bad happens
The best moment in any pitch meeting
Money
I need it as a gif
“Stares at her like he pooped his pants” is a great line.
Staring at her like he pooped his pants is Tight
It's a brown line.
I'd bet real money it was in the original script.
And so they fall madly in love. Because of the poop stares and the meanness.
It's my favorite part of the whole thing
"Romantic puking is tight!"
Can't ... stop ... binging ...the.. pitch...meetings...
I love businessman's disappointment everytime the story took an even shittier turn.
Producer*
Producer guy*
... but his interest is rejuvenated when screenwriter guy mentions money.
@@uVueD2b MONEY MONEY MONEY !!!
Producer
Oh man, when he breaks character to address Jacob’s imprinting , that was one the funniest moments ever in Pitch Meetings!!!
I also had McFeels.
@@ichijofestival2576 Clearly....try Tom and Jerry or the The Three Stooges.....
@@ichijofestival2576 k
@@davids736 Don't you dare to diss Tom and Jerry.
@@davids736 I don't think Tom and Jerry or the Three Stooges can cure clinical depression... Might wanna try some drugs instead.
Close your eyes and repeat "money money money money" The motto of Hollywood.
ohhh money is TIGHT
@@godemperorofmankind3.091 are you having money problems?
Making money is easy, barely an inconvenience.
@@x.graceterry.x Oh really!
well, you are not wrong.
“I don’t know. But anyway,” twice in a row in the second movie. 😂😂 Gets me every time.
lmao😂
"Turn me into a Vampire you coward." possibly the best line
What about
"I'm going to show you my naked body"
"Alright, do it. Do it you coward, i dare you"
Best part 😆
"... and Jacob gets to hook up with the child that he raised."
"Money, money, money, money." 😑😑
he wanted to distract himself 😂
@@animesloversunited9069 he needed to. Lol
"The movie's gonna follow this girl, Bella Swan..."
"And what's she like?"
"What do you mean?"
Yep.... that pretty much sums up Bella Swan.
Although Matrix was a good movie, and this was not, Neo is the same thing for nerdy dudes (for exceedingly bland people to imprint on)
@@kellnola 10 year old me feels attacked but is too self aware to say you're wrong
@@kellnola Jesus, you are so right. If I look back I can't even find the reason why was Trinity interested in him and even more, love him. Dude is just confused for 3/4 of the first movie and the rest is the rescue mission. I wonder if he was purposely written so blant so that all the teenagers can "transpose" themself onto him or if it was because writers wanted to focus on the World and Matrix.
@@denisruzicka1606 Yeah, I do realize people can fall in love on looks alone (in fact it usually is just that) but give me something, eh? Sheesh!
@@kellnola the concept 9f matrix far exceeded it's flaws
22:43 The face acting was so good dude, I just took a gulp of water, and got soooooo close to spitting it out in laughter. Good stuff man
"She's going to be so sad she's basically going to be comatose and expressionless"
"More than usual?"
"More than usual"
😂😂😂
This kid that’s on my archery team and I were having a debate about if Harry Potter or Twilight was better and she said
“The Harry Potter characters are boring”
I replied with;
“At least my characters have a shred of personality and a real reason to protect the main character”
I just heard
“Ooooooooh…” from all around the room.
@@WarmBreadBearBuddy r/thathappened
@@YuzuruRentarou hey it could be
Loved that bit^^
Watching the Ultimate Pitch Meetings is super easy. Barely an inconvenience.
Wowowowow that’s tight!
Oh Really?
"What if you actually made a new Pitch Meeting, instead of being unoriginal?"
"I need you to get all the way off my back."
@@berengustav7714 "Let me get all the way off that thing!"
Thats tight
The number of times they said "Because she's the main character" and "It's actually really easy. Barely an inconvenience!" has me wheezing!🤣
yeah these things are so deeply and fundamentally ... just illiterate
Hilarious almost everytime. Love it.
If they don’t have a t-shirt line they need one
I prefer the reason he justifies anything with "money" as the best part. The concerning thing is how often it gets used
They say barely an inconvenience once in every movie review. You're gonna be wheezing a lot.
I never understood how Jasper is the youngest of the Cullen clan. The civil war happened like 150 years ago during this movie. But previously it was said that Edward is only like 109
"I'm gonna need ya to stop thinking about things."
@@stenzel27not thinking about things is tight!
I think it has something to do with him being the last to become part of the Cullen family. It’s been years since I read the books though.
I had this question, too! I asked my wife, and she said that he was turned by someone else. He ended up joining the Cullen's when he meets Alice, and that is when he becomes a vegetarian vampire.
Youngest of the Cullens is in regards to being "vegetarian" and joining the clan. not necessarily when they were turned.
19:41-20:07
The closest a movie executive has ever come to having a moral conscience.
Yep
In conclusion: this pitch meeting has a more compelling story than the Twilight movies.
Dude this pitch meeting is so good it make me feel glad they made the movies :D
@@belamras Well said 👍
If they compressed the five movies to two, or even one, you'd have an alright story. Bella meets Edward, finds out he's a vampire, Volturi get pissed at him and he runs off. Bella depressed, Jacob helps her out, Edward comes back, they tell the Volturi to f-off and live happily ever after.
Good be done in 2.5 hours
@@oliverford5367 but… money?! 💰💰💰 Gotta buy Canada.
It was super easy barely and inconvenience
Ryan is so good with facial expression. When he looked disappointed I actually can feel and see that on his face
It was super easy, barely an inconvenience. Ya know, because everyone dies inside when they really think about Twilight too much.
Ikr?
You wanna see him be disappointed, you should watch The First Guy To Ever Make A Puzzle
ah yes, but MONEY!
money always perk him up again.
That's called acting.
Props to Pattinson for getting his money for being in this dreck and still managing to salvage his career.
Aside from the first twilight he hasn’t been actually good in anything else.
@@Tripp393 uuuuuuhmmm..... Ever seen The Lighthouse ?
@@mitoo4880 MEDIOCRE
@@Tripp393 I guess that's just your opinion, man
His interviews where he goes after the story is hilarious.
"I am vibing with this fetus."
I will smash that...
Explain why he almost puked when first seeing her. He probably imagined it
I want a t-shirt for that! xD
@@DaimonAnimations made from the after birth
"Welcome to our list" - The FBI
“It’s called Eclipse”
“That’s something no rational person would ever stare at”
😂😂🤣☠️
Love the burn 🔥
More like literal humor imo.
The burn as the roast or the burn as the thing that happens to your eyes after looking at an eclipse?
this is just full of clumsy crap like that ... also the full moon opening of "New Moon"
Hah nice play of words
Trump burn FTW
The fact that Robbert Patton hates Edward more than any other person is funny to me
Considering he surely made tons of money and fame from the character, he shouldn't hate it THAT much.
@@technomage6736 Its not about fame or money, its that it tainted his carrer by that role with him always being known as the Twilighht guy.
That's what got me into actually liking him as an actor and it's one of my favorite aspects of Robert
@@oncerand_directioner Me too. I also thought it was interesting when I read an interview for Variety to make sure he really was gonna play Batman that pretended to be drunk for Water for Elephants and had to actually get drunk for a scene in The Lighthouse.
@@stefanolozardo9711 Considering how well his role as Batman ends up doing...yeah, I really don't think he should hate it that much. Made him a lot of money, got a lot of fame, and his career still ended up just fine. Just a bit of suffering for mostly a win.
“That actually sounds like a whole lot interesting of a movie than the one we’re making.” That got me
"Definitely!"
All of the side characters have more interesting backstories than the main characters because…idk, I guess Stephenie Meyer knows how to come up with a synopsis of an interesting backstory but has literally no other writing skill so might as well go with boring nothing girl and her worthless, absurd backasswards morality having boyfriend? (To clarify, Edward used to eat r*pists (does RUclips ban that word?) and m*rderers (same with that one, idk if RUclips allows that in comments anymore) right before they acted because, ya know, mind reading so he knew what they were about to do beyond any doubt and hence saved countless people from those monsters…and then *STOPPED* because “all life is precious” which ironically makes him far more of a monster in the story than when he used to eat people)
Fun fact: If you whisper "money" in a producer's ear a few times while you're reading them a potential script, your chance of being accepted goes up by 80%
So if I’m sending a producer a script I’m writing the word “money” on ever corner of each page
@@elijahaitaok8624 Or do like James Cameron for the Aliens movie, he just put Alien$ and they accepted it .
We gotta appreciate that he actually watched and suffered through all the movies to make this.
Public service.
I can imagine him sitting in cinema and from time to time repeating to himself with eyes closed: "Money, money, money, money... " while watching saga of nonsense and stupidity! 😂
I even read the books bach when I was a teenager. I read everything back then. They were kind okay, tho. Well written, so it wasn't that bad.
@@Levi_is_Smol I disagree. I read Twilight because of the hype and the author can't describe action very well. She also lacks good characterization and I was surprised the movie actually followed the same tone instead of improving on the weaknesses of the book. They could have made the movie a lot better by deviating like what happened to other books turned into movies. But then I read Twilight not as a teen so I could see the flaws at once.
Also I feel his pain, I had to take my daughter and her friend to see everyone of these films, it was hell, Only one worse was something called Pokemon, I had no freaking idea then what it was about, nor do I now. Ugh. :)
"Romantic puking is TIGHT!" "Then he stares at her like he pooped his pants and wonders if she noticed." "Undeniably romantic!" This with the accompanying footage had me laughing harder than anything I've seen on Screen Rant. Keep up the amazing comedy.
I like how none of it is an exaggeration or a lie and describing it just sounds insane.
So they keep killing Vampires by ripping their heads off, but when Edward wants to die, he has to go to Venice or something?
Exactly.
Amazing!
Well Edward is one of the main characters so clearly he's also special
@@oncerand_directioner Oh being special because you are a main character is tight!
That would've been super easy. Barely an inconvenience.
I don't remember the movies at all but from the whole vampire fiction: vampires of the same clan can't hurt(or kill) each other, so he needs to go to another clan and ask them to kill him. Well don't quote me on that, but in several vampire stories I read this seems to be a recurring theme.
No, those other vampires just didn't die. They had their heads ripped off and became incapable of moving or doing much at all, but they didn't die. They stayed alive the entire time and can never die or be healed, just in constant pain forever.
The way we all agree Rosalie's entire backstory would've made way more of an interesting movie
it would've been awesome to have movies for everyone's back stories.....but no.....nothing 🙄
but it's still in the twilight universe :P
Because she's one of the vampires, sir, I'm almost sure of it!
@@Chicxulubs it's a GREAT movie
How about between each movie they make the backstory one character at a time. Alternate book movie ,backstory movie, backstory movie.
"Which one was she again?"
"She is one of the vampires. I'm almost sure of it"
The funniest parts of this was Money Guys reaction to the Jacob/Baby romance and his reaction when the fight turns out to be a vision... The absolute dismay is just the funniest thing ever. And I love, love, LOVE that the cure is just the word MONEY. :D
Ryan really doesn't like these movies he struggled to keep character
The movie is titled "New Moon" so it opens with a shot of a full moon
i'M A wR1TeR!!!!
Yeah well, if it actually opened with a shot of a new moon it would basically be a black screen. xD
@@BarelloSmith A very good point
I just realized he doesn't explicitly say "full" moon, but if the moon is shown at all it means it's not a New Moon
@@BarelloSmith more likely, a blue screen
"Pooped his pants and wondering if she noticed", I'm dead.
“Wondering”
RPI
"You have to know that somehow worse, right?" Dude has the lyrics.
uhhhhhhh how that aint lyrics??
Gorge Gonzales I subscribed to ur channel so please upload new content
Anytime I need to feel better I come watch the Twilight Pitch Meetings and I’m immediately happier.
"He helps raise her before they hook up." I believe there's a word for that that rhymes with wild shrooming.
Mild broom please?
I know what you're really talking about
I thought it would be hard to guess that but it was super easy, barely an inconvenience.
A normal kid blooming? 🤔
Just me?... well that's a revelation...
Retrospective evaluations of pedophilic acts are TIGHT!
I have spent too much time on tvtropes. I was like “wife husbandry” doesn’t rhyme on- ahh right.
Not a native speaker. Mind telling me which word that is? (not joking)
"So the wolf man will raise the baby then sleep With the it and our teenage audience will pay to come see this"
killed me
Jasper wasn’t the youngest, he was older than everyone except Carlisle. He was just the newest to the family.
(I’m GENUINELY ashamed for knowing that...)
Best comment so far... Last part got me xddd
Don’t feel bad. If this wasn’t a shitty love movie, it would have /some/ potential
You lost your man card. Give it now
Yeah Edward was 109 years old..(er than bella?) so jasper, from the Civil War era must be older! And you are not alone.
Don't be ashamed, I know that watermelons taste like cucumber.
The most unrealistic thing about these pitch meetings is how the executive producer is so uncomfortable with old men grooming/dating young girls.
I mean, you do know there are more Executive Producers in Hollywood than just Harvey Weinstein, right?
@@AhsimNreiziev There are, but most of the men are still very comfortable with putting an older man with a much younger woman and calling it romantic.
@@terpsidance. but an adult imprinting on a baby is what is making the producer uncomfortable here. A baby isn’t a young woman
@@ninjaked1265 Well he was also uncomfortable with Bella being so much younger than Edward too, and certainly I can't deny I'm speaking from personal bias alone here, but I wouldn't put it past some Hollywood producers to find falling in love with a baby and then waiting till she's grown to be romantic.
I mean, the producer would probably actually be uncomfortable with that - but only because they know the audience will be horrified (well, except in this movie, evidently, teenagers aren't known for their great recognition of what is and isn't creepy, but whatever) and it might mess with their profit margin. But yeah, off screen the producer *is* the creepy old guy and is using the movies to groom kids. Just fantastic. This is why we don't have TV at my house lol.
“Did this movie just get good?”
Well, no.
More like:
Well yes, but actually no. 😂
"This one's called New Moon and it's gonna start with a shot of a moon!"
"Ah, actually a new moon is when you CAN'T see the moon."
"Oh, whoops!"
"Whoopsie!"
Exactly. It's a shot of full moon. We are NOT up for a good start here 😂
I'm so glad I'm not alone in finding that very very annoying!
Watching the exec Ryan get more and more disappointed as the movies go on is just priceless 😂
I was shaking my head too, wth are these movies and WHY?
YA romance with vampires. I have heard legends of good YA-books, but somehow I’m always left disappointed.
@@TelperionMt May I suggest the Demonata series by Darren Shan if you're into horror and magic. It's fantastic.
@@TelperionMt I recommend the whole Percy Jackson series
Watching the replays and listening to his commentary makes the whole thing sound so ridiculous, but I was soooooo enthralled by the series when I was in high school. I literally didn't sleep to read through Eclipse then went to school the next day. Lotta snoring in class.
Money.
I keep coming back to watch this series bc I swear this may be his best work.
It's definitely some of his best. This movie series is absolutely perfect... for Pitch Meeting
I'm surprised New Moon didn't start with:
"And it starts with a Full Moon!"
"Don't you mean a New Moon?"
"Whoops!"
"Whoooooopsie!"
"But aren't those two kinda the same thing?"
"They're not, no, they're opposites!"
"Ohhhhh."
"Yeah yeah yeah!"
Lol he's more subtle about it it's so great
My favorite part of this is how his face just goes blank when they talk about Jacob and the baby.... like, "this is so wrong.. we just can't" and then with the "It's finally getting good... just a vision" Blank disappointment.. HAHAHAHA.. tears... literal tears!!
Seriously though, I want to watch Rosalie's movie. It's like Kill Bill, but the Bride is also a vampire. Why the hell is this not happening right now, Producer Guy?
ia agree, somebody should send them this clip of this to the producers of this saga. dont they want more money? i think we'd all pay to see it!
Why do you want to watch a girl creepily elanorate a revenge plan instead of just killing them
@@adamlion3495 because revenge is *tight!*
@@LizRealGirlBeauty but elaborate creepy revenge *isn't* !
@@adamlion3495 Never heard of literally every single slasher movie ever made? Where the deranged killer comes back from the dead to plan an elaborately prolonged creepy revenge on various teenagers who are just trying to have sex in an abandoned house? $$$$
I think how sad he looked after the dream sequence just made my day.
"Jacob has muscles now, so he has value as a human being". Hilarious stuff :D
First time watching the Twilight Pitch Meetings, and watching Producer Guy BREAK during the Breaking Dawn pitch had me dying.
He died a little inside. In an instant, he questioned every choice he made so far in his life and cursed to his fate... then remembered money.
@@artuc20 Ryan's a great actor.
@@coltonbates629 No kidding, he does these roles in such a hilarious way. That's why it keeps working and being fun even if it's kinda the same concept every time
"Very spooky, she has a SKELETON inside her?"
"Well yeah, I mean everybody does."
"Oh, can you imagine? Very spooky!"
As someone who was just…in love with this book series as a teen and stuck by the films even though they were terrible…I thoroughly enjoyed this roast!! You bring up many good points that are just yada yada’d away. Good stuff, funny 😆
If jasper is so affected by the smell of blood then shouldn't he be literally going crazy around all the high-school teen girls on their monthlies🤔😅
Lol, never occurred to me 🤣 you’re right! They did say Bella was especially delicious though 🤷🏻♀️
Period "blood" is mostly uterine wall lining and mucus, but just that tiny drop of finger blood was enough to make him attack so yeah technically periods should affect vampires huh I never thought of that xD
@@lilithlaney1759 bruh ,I thought girl's periods were disgusting before... after your definition they officially became the grossest thing in existence
@@nra3zehuti781 it gets easier in high school
@@nra3zehuti781 yeah we kinda disgusting, stay away from us kid.
We definitely chose it for ourselves
"I am vibing with that fetus, that's my girl right there" 😂😂😂😂😂😂
.........I...I don’t.....like that.
"Oh oh oh omg" that recation on his face when he heard that hahha
You really gotta wonder why they explained deeply how imprinting is solidly choosing the person you love and want to be with forever and then they just be like "woah that baby.... *i think im imprinting* "
Oh, oh my god
So true, the whole idea of Jacob wanting to be with a baby is just disturbing.
on every level.
Disturbingly romantic. It’s even more romantic than a hundred year old man breaking into a teenager’s room to watch her sleep at night.
I feel like Stephanie Meyers may have some issues.
lol, when you put it like that... However imprinting is more of "eternal bond and loyalty" which is usually romance, and it can also be that she doesn't like him when she grows up so he's just an eternal butler, which is also sad and disturbing to be friend-zoned forever.
Yes
Don't be that be that person roshiron.
This entire series is an absolute goldmine and I'm so happy I've found it
You mean twilight or Pitch meeting 🤣
@@fatkidz87only pitch meeting is the right answer in this situation.
This is a work of pure genius. I'm not sure I've ever laughed so hard before. The disappointment on producer's face after learning that the newborns weren't babies is just amazing. Love it! Keep up the good work!
Well, they couldn't do that, that might have made the movie, you know, interesting.
".... I dont like that" is an Oscar worthy performance 🤣
19:45 Mr Executive was finally pushed over the edge.
22:42 is the other one
This is my absolute favorite of the Pitch Meetings. It just brings me so much enjoyment.
this video needs a 9+ on IMDB and give this guy an oscar, wat a script and funny as hell,
there actually is a Pitch Meeting IMBD page
Agreed !!!so talented!
Lol yep way better than twilight with their while budget, writers and actors
I think Ryan George would be great to host the Oscars!
19:35 that whole interaction about him loving the baby is hilarious 😂😂 I laughed so hard I cried
I couldn't even hear some of his reactions I was laughing too hard.
Me too! 😂
But you have to remember.... Money!
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
The news was really depressing today, so I watched that a couple of times to share myself up
"What are we doing here, man?" is Ryan's best line reading ever
I think this is the finest Pitch Meeting Rayan has ever done, Nails everything about Twilight. Fantastic work Ryan.
One of the best for sure. Up there with Home Sweet Home Alone, The Polar Express, Star Wars Holiday Special ... a few others.
Cats is also great
I just discovered this channel just before midnight and I am definitely going to be late for work tomorrow
U r gorgeous
@Diana Bandicoot Please tell me your surname is actually 'Bandicoot', that'd be *tight.*
@@bucketofdicks4096well I’m getting married i january and we’re trying to get the last name legally😂
@@dianabandicoot Yes! Do it 🤣
I feel like the line, "Or otherwise there's literally no story here," is under-appreciated
The long pause and "I don't like that" after 19:42 had me CRY LAUGHING, omg hahahahah
RUclips stepping all over the last joke of each pitch meeting with its ads is TIGHT!
"And this one's gonna be called "Eclipse""
"Oh, sounds like a weird name for a movie, that's not something any rational person would stare at"
Damn; I JUST now got that
I don’t get it
@@Usario321 aww
@@Usario321 The sun gets covered by the Moon. It is called a solar eclipse.
Political satire disguised as movie satire is tight!
@@GorgeDawes wait i thought it was because you cant see eclipse with bare eye? Whats political bout it?
Hearing "So you have a movie for me?" is honestly the highlight of my day.
Hearing that catch phrase is tight!
Oddly, the producers love of money in this video series is his redeeming quality. He can only stand by such atrocities by focusing on what he sees as the only positive thing “money”, and we can tell that even that is a flimsy defense for him this time around. Good Guy Producer.
This Producer actually cares about the films. He even remembers continuities in long franchises like Fast & Furious and the MCU. He only ever forfeits logic for money xD
that doesn't make him a good guy it makes him a horrible person. Love of money isn't redemptive it's the reason for the entire mess in the first place.
@@kellnola Don't take it so seriously man. It's a string of goofy videos where one guy plays two people, one of which is pitching the story of an abusive, necrophiliac relationship, and the other can't find a good reason to make it other than the fact it can make him money, since it's such a horrible, plot-holey story. Just enjoy the Pitch Meetings.
Listening to this, does make you realize how much more sense Twilight would make if Bella was in college (returning to her birth state) and the Cullen "children" were pretending to be college students, and she was initially just meeting up with child hood friends, after she'd left when her parent's divorced and was only back for the occasional holiday while growing up.
But then it would have been harder for middle school girls to identify with her
Nah nah nah. Gotta have that high school setting. Hollywood says college setting is only for adults.
Nothing from Twilight have any sense
It wouldn't make sense for money purposes
Why would this make more sense
Watching this Pitch Meeting compilation again while not having watched any of these movies is super easy, barely an inconvenience.
I have watched the first one, SOLELY so I could understand the jokes when I watched the parody. I barely remember it.
When he got to the part about how Jacob falls instantly in love with the baby the face Ryan was making made me laugh so hard it hurt lol.
which Ryan? 😂
"I mean I know it sounds crazy but it kinda feels like you're back on my back about manufactured conflict"
"Oh I accidentally got back on that thing didn't I, I apologize"
The last little bit of sanity left in the producer guy as he contemplates life after hearing shocking and unimaginably horrific pitches is what gets me every time.