The Bullet Express Full Infomercial

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  • Опубликовано: 16 сен 2015
  • This is the full infomercial for The Bullet Express food processor. This is my favorite informercial of all time! Enjoy!

Комментарии • 1,5 тыс.

  • @KevboKev
    @KevboKev 8 лет назад +1572

    What happened to "good" "quality" infomercials like these to help with my insomnia. Only thing around is the damned Shark vacuum.

    • @JessycaLunawoona
      @JessycaLunawoona 7 лет назад +21

      Ikr? I miss these...

    • @thehoosierfortheuk4838
      @thehoosierfortheuk4838 7 лет назад +5

      +Wolf With “Bad” Attitude you mean Extenze with Lawrence and Kim chambers?

    • @havenofearmfishere
      @havenofearmfishere 6 лет назад +2

      Kevbo Kev a

    • @c.w.r.794
      @c.w.r.794 5 лет назад +17

      Why is every commercial nowadays for life insurance or mesothelioma?

    • @c.w.r.794
      @c.w.r.794 5 лет назад +1

      Wolf With Attitude Mesothelioma...

  • @DizzyedUpGirl
    @DizzyedUpGirl 6 лет назад +559

    Granny is sick of their shit. This is not the first time she's been disappointed in this family.

    • @DizzyedUpGirl
      @DizzyedUpGirl 6 лет назад +41

      Aunt Martha too. She's like, "this family will be the death of me". Her and granny didn't speak for 4 years, their mutual disgust for this family is what brought them back together.

    • @leelalo6625
      @leelalo6625 3 года назад +14

      She is done with these new aged contraptions.

    • @cindytaylor4262
      @cindytaylor4262 3 года назад +4

      @@leelalo6625 grandma is hangry!

    • @ang8158
      @ang8158 3 года назад +7

      😂🤣😂🤣🤣😂🤣I nearly fell outta my chair!! We must have the same kinda Gma's lol

    • @robertp181
      @robertp181 3 года назад +1

      😂😂😂

  • @Mngalahad
    @Mngalahad 6 лет назад +1533

    I like how they invited everyone else just to show them how much better they are than the rest of their family.

    • @plushbatfan
      @plushbatfan 6 лет назад +8

      Mngalahad
      Do you like Sesame Street characters like Snuffy?

    • @Mngalahad
      @Mngalahad 6 лет назад +8

      Dream Big Productions is that the elephant like character whose parents get a divorce? If so, i like him. Hes really cute.

    • @plushbatfan
      @plushbatfan 6 лет назад +3

      Mngalahad
      Yes the Aloysius Snuffleupagus.

    • @GigawingsVideo
      @GigawingsVideo 6 лет назад +5

      Implying it never happened irl. Just wait until Thanksgiving dinner.

    • @HeyMyLifeIsLibby
      @HeyMyLifeIsLibby 5 лет назад +28

      Mngalahad they have a pessimistic aunt, an impatient granny and friends who are either airheads or gluttons. It’s not hard for them to do. 😂😂😂

  • @gregallsmagic
    @gregallsmagic Месяц назад +5

    I don’t know what it is, but I love watching infomercials. No matter how bad the product or acting is, something about infomercials are nostalgic.

  • @lebronthegoat3670
    @lebronthegoat3670 3 года назад +302

    Imagine going to a nice family dinner and then experiencing a full fledged infomercial from the host

    • @blackkatt9017
      @blackkatt9017 Год назад +1

      🤣🤣🤣🤣

    • @missbleach8767
      @missbleach8767 Год назад

      🐐

    • @cat-le1hf
      @cat-le1hf Год назад +6

      it's like having an family member who fell for the amway scam

    • @mr.mcnerdo
      @mr.mcnerdo Год назад +2

      I feel like I would be that kind of a host.
      “Howdy guys! Ready for a horrible time with me nonstop talking?”

    • @brianc4632
      @brianc4632 6 месяцев назад +1

      Sounds like an MLM pitch.

  • @Rawk4Life
    @Rawk4Life 7 лет назад +653

    "How about a 15 second nachos supreme to hold you over?"
    It took him 26 seconds. LIAR!

    • @AshliDawn14
      @AshliDawn14 7 лет назад +23

      Rawk4Life I love these infomercials but that's exactly what I think every time he says it takes so many seconds. it ways takes longer lol.

    • @DeathnoteBB
      @DeathnoteBB 6 лет назад +3

      Lol this aired back before people would know unless they timed it with a watch

    • @Sweetumskitty1789
      @Sweetumskitty1789 4 года назад +8

      DeathnoteBB So counting wasn't a thing in 2000ish?

    • @johnnyhotcakes5217
      @johnnyhotcakes5217 4 года назад +1

      He did the same thing with the magic bullet, it just takes 1 2 3 seconds and its done, he pressed it down 3x and held it for a few seconds each time lol

    • @karenlizhenriquez231
      @karenlizhenriquez231 4 года назад

      More like 30

  • @frankenoise
    @frankenoise Год назад +46

    1:41 Pepperoni just flying everywhere 😄

    • @ritamariealan93
      @ritamariealan93 8 месяцев назад +6

      They cut that shot IMMEDIATELY 😭😭

  • @linkfan160
    @linkfan160 6 лет назад +679

    "A little bit of cream cheese"
    *Puts in four bricks*

    • @daniellueke4717
      @daniellueke4717 5 лет назад +18

      a LiTtLe BiT oF cReAm ChEeSe

    • @UseTheScience
      @UseTheScience 4 года назад +8

      @@lookcatchu two

    • @Sweetumskitty1789
      @Sweetumskitty1789 4 года назад +12

      MODERATION QUEEN tWO SHOts of VODkA!

    • @marig16
      @marig16 4 года назад +5

      @@UseTheScience So glad someone commented this!!!! "Two shots....."

    • @SENPAI.Popaii
      @SENPAI.Popaii 4 года назад

      😂😂🤣

  • @daisydaze2886
    @daisydaze2886 6 лет назад +555

    Poor Ralph McFatass these people invite him with the promise of food just to make fun of him for being a fatty the whole time

    • @DinoSarma
      @DinoSarma 4 года назад +10

      Yeah but Hazel is down for the fatty loving. If you've seen the Bullet Express one, it hints at it.

    • @heinandwilson
      @heinandwilson 4 года назад

      hahhahahah

    • @Rigbone64
      @Rigbone64 4 года назад +1

      You hate to see it

    • @justinm.1
      @justinm.1 4 года назад +5

      Dino Sarma
      You mean Magic Bullet? 😜

    • @UnderAGlassMetropolis
      @UnderAGlassMetropolis 3 года назад +2

      He's grotesque.

  • @EjPwned
    @EjPwned 6 лет назад +275

    My childhood 😭😭😭😭
    Who else remembers watching this when you woke up early on Saturday mornings???

  • @Mngalahad
    @Mngalahad 6 лет назад +555

    12:58 thanks for letting me know this was a paid advertisement for the bullet express. I almost thought it was the recording of a real family.

    • @cupcakeadventures8770
      @cupcakeadventures8770 6 лет назад +3

      Mngalahad 😂😂😂😂

    • @GigawingsVideo
      @GigawingsVideo 6 лет назад +22

      If they want to make it more real they need to add a black sheep in the family acting like an asshole and creepy uncle speaking in innuendos.

    • @TheGtracer1994
      @TheGtracer1994 6 лет назад +21

      I mean, the Magic Bullet was filmed the day after Mick and Mimi's massive orgy

    • @OikPoinFive
      @OikPoinFive 5 лет назад +2

      GigawingsVideo like Berman from part 1 ?

    • @heinandwilson
      @heinandwilson 4 года назад

      hahahahahh

  • @charchar234cj
    @charchar234cj 7 лет назад +283

    Will somebody give aunt Martha the award for outstanding supporting actress already

  • @georgewang2947
    @georgewang2947 7 лет назад +669

    Using plain pureed tomato as your pizza "sauce"? Potato au gratin without making a roux? And no one is adding any salt whatsoever. More like flavorless express.

    • @posysdogovych2065
      @posysdogovych2065 7 лет назад +99

      Making pizza dough in 35 seconds? Fuck that. You need 5 minutes just for the yeast to dissolve and around an hour for the dough to rise.

    • @ashleybelaire1882
      @ashleybelaire1882 7 лет назад +16

      George Wang I make potatoes au gratin without making a roux all the time... always have

    • @ashleybelaire1882
      @ashleybelaire1882 7 лет назад +19

      But I get what you're saying... it definitely is b.s

    • @techykun
      @techykun 7 лет назад +9

      There's a better way to speed up the yeast dissolving by putting it in the oven by low temperature for under 5 minutes. Any chef genius would know that.

    • @katiebayliss9887
      @katiebayliss9887 6 лет назад +4

      George Wang I'm taking you to Flavortown.

  • @TeaganD
    @TeaganD 8 лет назад +675

    I like how in the beginning the two kids come in, and then 2 seconds later, they're completely gone.

    • @jeaninepanzone3899
      @jeaninepanzone3899 7 лет назад +13

      Teaze there gonna eat with the family after nick and Mimi finish,

    • @Razzy1312
      @Razzy1312 7 лет назад +53

      They're in the living room playing video games.

    • @jeffreybetancourt86
      @jeffreybetancourt86 6 лет назад +95

      They drowned in the pool in the back yard

    • @ElizabethzW.
      @ElizabethzW. 6 лет назад +10

      Jeffrey Betancourt why? 😂😂

    • @rogercurtis9876
      @rogercurtis9876 6 лет назад +5

      Teagan gone forever ....

  • @eugie73
    @eugie73 8 лет назад +459

    Granny: “it's a pain in the..."
    Mick: “Aaas I was saying..."

  • @wyssmaster
    @wyssmaster Год назад +29

    The shot of him frantically spinning the pizza to catch the avalanche of cheese is topped only by the shot that immediately follows it of the pepperoni shooting out like it's trying to save itself from this mess

  • @deliuslyndon8340
    @deliuslyndon8340 7 лет назад +418

    That turkey meatloaf is an abomination

    • @newper
      @newper 4 года назад +62

      Cooked to a beautiful pale gray.

    • @tavern2468
      @tavern2468 4 года назад +9

      Finally someone says it

    • @debgib007
      @debgib007 3 года назад +6

      It looked horrible.

    • @tavern2468
      @tavern2468 3 года назад +19

      @@debgib007 it looked like a puréed human with blood sauce. GIMME GIMME!

    • @RootTheLucario
      @RootTheLucario 3 года назад +2

      maybe it might go good with some human organs

  • @Stopitstoptalking
    @Stopitstoptalking 8 лет назад +482

    Aunt Martha fell in a deep depression after hearing the comment "Even you can't make it that fast Martha" but who knew Martha was a meatloaf expert? Rip aunt Martha

  • @TeaganD
    @TeaganD 7 лет назад +502

    "This is not a food processor.Now lets make a turkey meatloaf." *puts on the Food Processor attachment*

    • @Rawk4Life
      @Rawk4Life 7 лет назад +53

      It's a "meal mixer attachment" lol.

    • @covertyankee
      @covertyankee 6 лет назад +9

      And all those attachments along with the base only take up the space of a two slice toaster!

    • @LaurenEveCreates
      @LaurenEveCreates 5 лет назад +2

      And tomorrow we'll make turkey sloppy joes! - Adam Sandler

    • @SENPAI.Popaii
      @SENPAI.Popaii 4 года назад

      🤣🤣🤣🤣

    • @darrenclements
      @darrenclements 3 года назад +6

      You've never seen meatloaf done like this before ... no mick love, that I haven't - looks like grey sludge :)

  • @philipdiaz3010
    @philipdiaz3010 7 лет назад +114

    "Watch this, now watch, now look, are you watching. Watch this. Watch."

  • @misterroboto1
    @misterroboto1 7 лет назад +533

    Holy crap! This looks more like an "adult swim" type parody than an actual informercial lol.

    • @Rayman2457
      @Rayman2457 7 лет назад +3

      Vincent Laflamme Like a Cinco commercial?

    • @MomoKunDaYo
      @MomoKunDaYo 4 года назад +5

      Lmao these were the best to watch high with your friends

    • @nicoleackerman205
      @nicoleackerman205 4 года назад +4

      I remember I watched this at my grandmas house because she did not have cable and this was the only thing on. 😂😂

    • @moxxy8626
      @moxxy8626 3 года назад

      Too many cooks

    • @darrenclements
      @darrenclements 2 года назад

      Jeez Rick :)

  • @TwistyMcFisty
    @TwistyMcFisty 7 лет назад +248

    I'm impressed they made a salad that was able to unmix itself.

    • @arlenekitty1
      @arlenekitty1 6 лет назад +21

      And they had a cheese cake that had more batter in it that what they poured into the cheesecake pan, as well as a pie with small ovals in the covering pie crust on top lol

    • @aleksandrrozentsvit8390
      @aleksandrrozentsvit8390 4 года назад +8

      Same with apple pie. I was screaming on the screen to tell them mix the apples with the sugar & spices

    • @heyyyyitsLisa10
      @heyyyyitsLisa10 3 года назад +7

      And did they pre-core the apples?

  • @xdamatox62
    @xdamatox62 7 лет назад +405

    Wife called her husband fat...woman made fun of her aunt cause she can't cook as fast as the damn machine and mick makes fun of "granny's false teeth" these guys are like an a real family....this damn thing must work!

  • @anthonyburkett518
    @anthonyburkett518 6 лет назад +223

    Ralph shouts: "LET'S GET TO THE FOOD!!!" as he has a whole platter of nachos and cheese. 2:29

  • @joshduncan3693
    @joshduncan3693 7 лет назад +319

    Mick: "Have you ever tasted meatloaf as good as that?"
    Martha: (takes a microscopic bite and barely chews it) "I don't believe it. This is fantastic!"

    • @charchar234cj
      @charchar234cj 7 лет назад +28

      Josh Duncan ha! Can we also talk about the "low LOW price of just SIX payments of 19.99!" *whispers* plus shipping and handling

    • @Nocturne22
      @Nocturne22 6 лет назад +25

      Aunt Martha's so fucking shady, I love it.

    • @venushayes3930
      @venushayes3930 6 лет назад

      Josh Duncan Right, lol

    • @gabby8485
      @gabby8485 5 лет назад

      Josh Duncan omg I was thinking the same thing

    • @candice5186
      @candice5186 4 года назад +7

      That meatloaf recipe was terrible

  • @JorgeRodriguez-bp7by
    @JorgeRodriguez-bp7by 7 лет назад +290

    They're all ganging up on Martha 😂😂

    • @Mngalahad
      @Mngalahad 6 лет назад +41

      Jorge Rodriguez ... haha marta, can you make nachos like this?... haha this is so fast, unlike marta's food processor... so marta, your husband is still dead, right?...

    • @ronniefranklin2586
      @ronniefranklin2586 6 лет назад +2

      Mngalahad holy shit. XD

    • @siddharthchoudhary4278
      @siddharthchoudhary4278 6 лет назад +2

      Kinky

    • @Bowiebonolennon1982
      @Bowiebonolennon1982 6 лет назад +9

      I’m surprised no one called Martha an “ignorant slut”...

  • @Olole
    @Olole 7 лет назад +586

    I wonder what they talk about at the the dinner table when it's not about the bullet express

    • @thetruth9746
      @thetruth9746 7 лет назад +31

      Olole sex

    • @knocknockify
      @knocknockify 6 лет назад +48

      Probably about which ones will be swapping rooms tonight

    • @shelletemisfit9799
      @shelletemisfit9799 6 лет назад +22

      Whispering about Micks cheese addiction behind his back

    • @BoHista23
      @BoHista23 6 лет назад +36

      Why they talk about Martha's new Sham Wow of course!

    • @jaredbarton6161
      @jaredbarton6161 6 лет назад +30

      The original Magic Bullet, of course.

  • @fastflash6775
    @fastflash6775 7 лет назад +158

    I dare you to take a shot everytime they say "A little bit"

    • @Razzy1312
      @Razzy1312 7 лет назад +25

      You'll only end up drinking a little bit.

    • @jaredbarton6161
      @jaredbarton6161 6 лет назад +4

      Fast Flash Alcohol poisoning is no joke, my dude.

    • @lindseyemra9195
      @lindseyemra9195 6 лет назад +2

      That's been know to kill people!!!

    • @ChocoQueen24
      @ChocoQueen24 2 года назад +1

      Or take a drink every time Mick says "Are you watching? Did you see that? Take a look at that? etc."

    • @missbleach8767
      @missbleach8767 Год назад

      @@ordinarychef 🧑‍🍳

  • @darkprose
    @darkprose 6 лет назад +247

    "Look, can you see that? Are you watching? I want you to notice something. Are you ready? Look at that. Did you see it? Did you look? Look at this. Did you miss it? Watch it again. Can you see that? No, not that, the other thing. Just watch this, guys. Oh, you missed it. Just kidding. Have a look at this. And while you're doing that, I want you to notice something...."
    I don't want this guy to die, I just want him to suffer.

    • @Pyliah
      @Pyliah 6 лет назад +24

      That literally had me in tears laughing so hard.

    • @MelodyJ_123
      @MelodyJ_123 Год назад

      😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

    • @GuibarianDolthis
      @GuibarianDolthis 3 дня назад

      HAHAHAHAHA

  • @ryangreen4305
    @ryangreen4305 4 года назад +14

    I came here for the Bullet Express. I stayed for the comment section.

  • @alwaysshit
    @alwaysshit Год назад +110

    you gotta love the mountain of nachos, pepperoni sliding off the pizza, calling the onions the perfect consistency and then slicing it more, putting milk and onions together, how they filmed the ketchup shot twice, the spam looking meatloaf, incorrect timing, how the zucchini isn't shredded despite not flipping the plate, the seemingly endless attachments considering they never clean them, how she shoved sugar straight onto the pie, the weird uneven crimps with literal dentures, martha taking the tiniest bite, berries teleporting onto the cheesecake, and no juicer
    i love infomercials

  • @edgarrazo9681
    @edgarrazo9681 3 года назад +69

    9:33 "So, Martha, how much time would it take you to make a cheesecake like this from scratch?" "To make cheesecake I need my big stand mixer." "That... That wasn't the question, Martha."

    • @mattng2761
      @mattng2761 2 года назад +3

      She said at least 20 minutes for her to make cheesecake from scratch

    • @CShannon1991
      @CShannon1991 Год назад +3

      @@mattng2761I think I rather occupy my 20 minute time of making cheesecake because I find it quite relaxing with baking.

  • @stacymiller5311
    @stacymiller5311 7 лет назад +133

    That "meatloaf" was SO liquified. lol

    • @mochs62512
      @mochs62512 4 года назад +19

      And Martha took the smallest bite possible

    • @cathyedwards2844
      @cathyedwards2844 4 года назад +9

      McNugget pink meat.

    • @rdu239
      @rdu239 3 года назад +1

      more like meat pudding

    • @leelalo6625
      @leelalo6625 3 года назад +1

      It was like Mimi tried to cook for the first time with easy bake oven skills.

    • @dandeleon2764
      @dandeleon2764 Год назад +1

      You know the second everyone looked away, Martha trashed that piece of loaf in the garbage

  • @HeyMyLifeIsLibby
    @HeyMyLifeIsLibby 5 лет назад +31

    Granny and Auntie are moods if I’ve ever seen any.

  • @harryforster602
    @harryforster602 6 лет назад +146

    “A liiiiiitle bit of cream cheese”
    Adds a mountain of cream cheese

  • @GiantPetRat
    @GiantPetRat 7 лет назад +92

    Okay so I legit just watched all 20 minutes of this the whole way through, because this shit is MAGICAL.
    My face. It hurts.

    • @vickig7027
      @vickig7027 7 лет назад +7

      Araxie Rose me too. especially scrolling through the comments while it plays... pure gold

  • @StripyTigers
    @StripyTigers 3 года назад +45

    I love how he shook the salt and pepper into the meatloaf but they’re both grinders...

  • @MrHarshz
    @MrHarshz 2 года назад +16

    Love how everything they need appears magically beside the bullet express , all prepped up and good to shove inside the bullet express .

  • @wesva2778
    @wesva2778 7 лет назад +108

    "The last time many of these people were seen alive. Rumor has it they all went to a dinner party but nobody ever saw any of them leave. Neighbors say that at night, loud noises such as explosions, electricity humming and what they are convinced are muffled human screams. are heard. Occasionally bright lights emanate from the basement windows while simultaneously causing rolling blackouts in the area."

  • @G.S.Holland
    @G.S.Holland 3 месяца назад +3

    The Magic Bullet infomercial was the golden age of infomercials. I will not lie and admit that I would stop what I was doing and watch it every time it came on. It was just so wild and bizzare. Who were all these people? Why were they all under one roof? What happened the night before? Some crazed orgy of blood letting and demonic sacrifice?
    It had all the best characters. Vernon, who demanded that people don't be so loud. Clearly hung over. Hazel coming in at the right moment with the cig hanging out of her mouth, "Did somebody say muffins?" The whole thing is just captivating. Their sequel, the Bullet Express commercial, was up there with the best of them as well.
    They don't make them like that anymore.

  • @mlggrape9153
    @mlggrape9153 8 лет назад +120

    OMG the pepperoni looks like it's 5 years old

  • @mike91mdk45
    @mike91mdk45 10 месяцев назад +4

    10:20 she's so excited she starts giving him a handy under the counter

  • @rhiannonsapp7099
    @rhiannonsapp7099 7 лет назад +36

    The grandma was fucking iconic

  • @safinmurshed1460
    @safinmurshed1460 6 лет назад +86

    nothing is seasoned at all like the pizza sauce is quite literally tomato juice

  • @Bloombaby99
    @Bloombaby99 3 года назад +76

    I can imagine the swinger parties Mick and Mimi host. Everybody is skeptical to go because they're afraid those two will want to sell them something.

    • @GlitchManOmega
      @GlitchManOmega 11 месяцев назад +3

      "I'm not interested in anything you're selling!"

    • @Slavic-King1917
      @Slavic-King1917 6 месяцев назад

      "No thanks Mick, im just here for the shots and ass!"

  • @muhammadlee8628
    @muhammadlee8628 8 лет назад +115

    Aunt Martha stays being judgmental from a distance

  • @ThatGuyBobby
    @ThatGuyBobby 3 года назад +13

    God, when she said "even you can't do it that fast Martha" you could just feel the pain in her eyes as she heard it.

  • @brickinthewal3398
    @brickinthewal3398 4 года назад +29

    Ralph look so sad when they told him they were done they crushed that man's spirit.

  • @ClandestineSnowman
    @ClandestineSnowman 3 года назад +21

    amazing how fast cooking goes when all your ingredients are measured and prepped in little bowls that you can dump together...

  • @familyguy578
    @familyguy578 4 года назад +26

    This is also my favorite infomercial of all time. I was legitimately excited whenever it started up on the TV when I was a kid. I am looking at this now because I am looking to buy one now that I am an adult and have my own money. The kid version of me would have cried if he'd known I might own one in the future. I was so mesmerized. What simpler times.

  • @pureawkwardness415
    @pureawkwardness415 4 года назад +35

    11:54 *takes the tiniest bite*
    "I don't believe it. THIS IS FANTASTIC"

  • @gingerfloofy
    @gingerfloofy 7 лет назад +43

    I find it funny how Mick says " A LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITLE bit of.."

  • @ladycplum
    @ladycplum 8 лет назад +150

    Sheesh Mick, would you like some chips with your cheese?

  • @AwesomeFDO789
    @AwesomeFDO789 Год назад +4

    That lady to the smallest possible bite of that meatloaf and said it was good.

  • @jpsateriale1420
    @jpsateriale1420 6 лет назад +32

    “Just a little bit to cream cheese” SHE ADDS THE 4 BLOCS
    **just a splash of vodka

  • @user-pp9sw9qg7d
    @user-pp9sw9qg7d 9 месяцев назад +73

    This is my second Magic bullet, and I have to admit that for the price it delivers really well ruclips.net/user/postUgkxCKuMxLnvr6fJd_M4SE-n7trcGj3zEUHq Considering that there are other products twice and even four times more expensive, I think that for one person this is just right. The only problem is that you have to make sure that your vegetables and ice are cut into small pieces because it won't chop and blend well. I made the mistake of putting whole baby carrots with a cup of mixed greens, and it wasn't pretty.. Also be careful not to overfill it, because it will overflow. As long as you follow the manufacturer's instructions for use, you should be happy with this purchase.

  • @supanutte9357
    @supanutte9357 4 года назад +40

    The new meme house characters, everyone..

    • @rdu239
      @rdu239 3 года назад

      Everybody has a Ralph in their social circle

  • @Dax0293
    @Dax0293 8 лет назад +152

    8:05 Oh my God, you destroyed his spirit. He just wanted to help

    • @vickig7027
      @vickig7027 7 лет назад

      Morphic c lmao omg

    • @KempuraChicken
      @KempuraChicken 7 лет назад +1

      Morphic c You win.

    • @san6886
      @san6886 5 лет назад +2

      im snortinf

    • @kbarts316
      @kbarts316 2 года назад +1

      Hello darkness my old friend 😂

    • @latinolawdog5067
      @latinolawdog5067 18 дней назад

      "And we're gonna just pop Ralph's goodwill and enthusiasm in the bullet and 3......2.........1........"

  • @user-zu7mm8ni8x
    @user-zu7mm8ni8x 7 лет назад +125

    These people are more rude than peppermint patty at charlie browns thanksgiving lunch

    • @ElizabethzW.
      @ElizabethzW. 6 лет назад +2

      Michael Jackson 😂😂

    • @ericasawyer8985
      @ericasawyer8985 3 года назад +1

      Perfect comment!!😆😆😆😆😆

    • @MrDeSouza91
      @MrDeSouza91 3 года назад +2

      You sir, have just won this comment section!! 😂😂😂

  • @gentlemanjester637
    @gentlemanjester637 4 года назад +103

    What most people don't know about this commercial is that this is a real, actual family. And two weeks after this infomercial was filmed, almost all of them were found dead, all forced into a woodchipper which had the words "BULLET EXPRESS" plastered on the side with duct tape. The culprit?
    Ralph.
    Ralph had always been an insecure man, and he had many friends and therapists to help him. His family, however, were always mocking him. Always making him the butt of their jokes. His humiliation on national television was the last straw. Over the course of the two weeks following this, he murdered everybody who had taken part in this infomercial, leaving Mick for last.

    • @aquatadevore9335
      @aquatadevore9335 2 года назад +9

      🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Best comment EVER!

    • @Angelcat710
      @Angelcat710 2 года назад +3

      He also killed the children in the beginning of the commercial before murdering everybody else to cause suffering to his other family members who have wronged him in the past before they were next.

    • @steveholthaus4181
      @steveholthaus4181 2 года назад +2

      Dude that is hilarious 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

    • @blastofo
      @blastofo 2 года назад +4

      You should turn that into a screenplay bro.

    • @myragingwhormoans
      @myragingwhormoans Год назад +2

      ashamed to admit you had me in the first half

  • @bart234465
    @bart234465 6 лет назад +7

    This is essential viewing for all drama students.

  • @ladycplum
    @ladycplum 5 лет назад +95

    That's gonna be one bland pizza without basil and oregano and all the other tasty spices

  • @R3putaytion13
    @R3putaytion13 6 лет назад +14

    Who else is on an infomercial binge

  • @depressedglub32
    @depressedglub32 3 года назад +11

    Used to love watching these when I was sick or when I couldn't sleep when I was younger. Brings back alot of memories.

  • @Mau506
    @Mau506 8 лет назад +109

    That's not a pizza, that's a mess!

    • @broqui72jzbtches70
      @broqui72jzbtches70 7 лет назад +25

      I dont like how they made the pizza, because they shredded the tomatoes instead of mixing them with other ingredients for the marinara sauce.

    • @thequadrupleagent4130
      @thequadrupleagent4130 16 дней назад

      Sounds like something Gordon Ramsay would say

  • @alexlea896
    @alexlea896 7 лет назад +46

    Martha actually did an alright job with the shitty script

  • @caseyj5637
    @caseyj5637 7 лет назад +140

    Martha always looks like she's smelling something bad lol

    • @Felamine
      @Felamine 6 лет назад +8

      Martha looks like she smells bad. I bet she's one of those ladies who wears a whole bottle of perfume every day, enough to give your nasal passages a chemical burn as soon as the smell hits your nostrils.

    • @ericasawyer8985
      @ericasawyer8985 3 года назад +3

      @@Felamine 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 I hollered!!!

    • @slickl9608
      @slickl9608 3 года назад +1

      Oh Martha! Typical Martha.

  • @sunshinefirecracker
    @sunshinefirecracker 7 лет назад +32

    Them winning over surly Aunt Martha with that turkey meatloaf, really sold it. "This is fantastic!"

  • @adamthevirgo9297
    @adamthevirgo9297 2 года назад +13

    Let’s be honest, with all that other food there, that family ain’t touching that salad

  • @TheKillmaster442
    @TheKillmaster442 7 лет назад +201

    Question: "How long would it take to make a cheesecake?"
    Answer: "I use a big stan mixer"
    That was not the question Madame

    • @TeaganD
      @TeaganD 7 лет назад +1

      omg

    • @vickig7027
      @vickig7027 7 лет назад +16

      simon b have some compassion! It's Martha for God's sake... she hasn't been the same since Donny got back from the war

    • @mitcheljoseph
      @mitcheljoseph 4 года назад

      LOL. I laughed out loud.

    • @brettnorris3140
      @brettnorris3140 4 года назад

      HAHA LOL

    • @alice-nw1xq
      @alice-nw1xq 3 года назад

      🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @neophuchane1282
    @neophuchane1282 6 лет назад +53

    If you placed all of the accessories on the table it would take up way more space than the toaster

  • @MukuonChannel
    @MukuonChannel 4 года назад +28

    Oh god that "Turkey Meatloaf" looked like catfood.

  • @jcampton1
    @jcampton1 6 лет назад +36

    I can get a knife and chopping board faster than Ralph can!

  • @markxxx21
    @markxxx21 7 лет назад +108

    Most of these dishes made as demonstrated would not work. That apple pie would be awful for instance.

    • @charlie_mario6292
      @charlie_mario6292 5 лет назад +47

      Markxxx these motherfuckers are whiter than the coke they’re on

    • @perunplague9794
      @perunplague9794 3 года назад +8

      It looked disgusting, she just dumped a bowl of sugar on top.

    • @tanania
      @tanania 2 года назад +4

      Like AT LEAST MIX THE APPLES AND SPICES LOL

    • @ladycplum
      @ladycplum 2 года назад +6

      For one thing, that pizza would be bland as hell without your usual pizza sauce seasonings on it. Badly shredded tomatoes do NOT a pizza sauce make!

    • @ladycplum
      @ladycplum 2 года назад +5

      @@tanania And did you notice the pitiful little amount of cinnamon Mick sprinkled on top of the crust? (which looks terrible, I might add)

  • @supsarah13
    @supsarah13 4 года назад +9

    "I can finally slice this onion without crying" honey, we've got other things to cry about

  • @oxitape1563
    @oxitape1563 4 года назад +14

    Thank you Joel for introducing me to this masterpiece

    • @missbleach8767
      @missbleach8767 Год назад

      @Central Intelligence Agency federal bureau of investigation

    • @missbleach8767
      @missbleach8767 Год назад

      @Central Intelligence Agency at your service

  • @user-os6vx6qf9z
    @user-os6vx6qf9z 7 лет назад +74

    It's pretty easy to tell Mick hates his co-star, Mimi, because he always has a frown when she's in the limelight and interrupts her when he can.

    • @Ser_Arthur_Dayne
      @Ser_Arthur_Dayne 4 года назад +6

      He does totally interrupt her lol, what a hater.

    • @meganbrowning
      @meganbrowning 3 года назад +10

      She did the same thing to him in the Magic Bullet commercial. She even took stuff straight from his hands!

    • @leelalo6625
      @leelalo6625 3 года назад +3

      What will bond them again? Acidic pizza?

  • @YourMom-zn5pl
    @YourMom-zn5pl 6 лет назад +48

    Aunt Martha is me at ever family gathering and everyone else is all of my family constantly questioning my life

  • @FJX716
    @FJX716 2 года назад +5

    Saturdays I use to watch infomercials like this back to back just cause the food was so convincing.

    • @callanightshade8079
      @callanightshade8079 2 года назад +1

      lol same! I do have a modern day magic bullet that I use for fresh fruit smoothies lol.
      Cup of milk 🥛, 6 strawberries 🍓 and 1 banana lol 🍌

    • @FJX716
      @FJX716 Год назад

      @@callanightshade8079it’s literally just a blender lol

  • @hannahc1790
    @hannahc1790 7 лет назад +197

    Am I the only one who just thinks "major cross contamination!" After he handles the raw turkey breast, then goes to touch everything else. And then NEVER goes to wash his hands??

    • @WerewolfLord
      @WerewolfLord 6 лет назад +3

      Carolyn Johnson Not really, but did you expect it to? It is pretty good for what it does, though.

    • @TheIkaika777
      @TheIkaika777 6 лет назад +11

      Hannah C, you do know they stop and restart filming all the time, right? You can see the perpetual edits.

    • @kodakexpressmorrinsville2383
      @kodakexpressmorrinsville2383 5 лет назад +3

      @@TheIkaika777 i'm sure you can see mimi pouring ketchup onto the meat loaf twice..

    • @isetmfriendsofire
      @isetmfriendsofire 5 лет назад +1

      Haven't you ever heard of...movie magic?

    • @Bloombaby99
      @Bloombaby99 3 года назад +1

      You don't want to know what he was handling before all that food....

  • @laurenconrad1799
    @laurenconrad1799 4 года назад +32

    “We’ve got all these dishes ready in less than two minutes.” Now we just have to wait the hour it will take to cook everything, including oven pre-heating time and the time it takes to boil water. But hey, it’s not like you came to this dinner party already hungry. 😂

    • @dr.altoclef9255
      @dr.altoclef9255 Год назад +1

      Not counting the time it takes to core the apples or peel all the potatoes.

    • @curtunderwood8039
      @curtunderwood8039 Год назад

      @@dr.altoclef9255 and roll out the pie dough and pizza dough. I dont think it come out of the bullet nicely rolled like that

    • @dr.altoclef9255
      @dr.altoclef9255 Год назад +1

      @@curtunderwood8039 Also true. I mean assuming that the pizza dough came prepackaged, you still have to prepare pie dough and cut dough strips, since those desserts come out all decorated. I mean I love a fancy decorated dessert as much as anyone but putting all the fruit in place and arranging the whole dough lattice, it kind of takes time to do right.

    • @curtunderwood8039
      @curtunderwood8039 Год назад

      @@dr.altoclef9255 and the dough would need to rise for the pizza. Would you laugh at me if I told you I bought this back in the day? I haven’t used it in 10 + years but got it out to juice some apples and tomatoes this coming weekend

    • @dr.altoclef9255
      @dr.altoclef9255 Год назад

      @@curtunderwood8039 I mean it looks great in theory, like I hate having to juggle like five different things when cooking a big meal so if I can dump some of that on a machine that would be awesome. Like “just hold this bowl and start cramming stuff in for the salad, so I can focus on the pasta-“

  • @ESCSoccerPlaya
    @ESCSoccerPlaya 4 года назад +44

    Hey guys! This infomercial was my favorite “show” when I was a kid. It makes me feel weirdly safe! So many memories ❤️

  • @jessica_1994
    @jessica_1994 4 месяца назад +2

    took me back to my childhood when i was sick in the middle of the night LOL

  • @ltrich50
    @ltrich50 7 лет назад +37

    Everyone we go to Mick & Mimi's they try and sell is something!!!

  • @cooperpendergast23
    @cooperpendergast23 6 лет назад +57

    WHERE ARE THE SEASONINGS??

    • @debgib007
      @debgib007 3 года назад +2

      He used A LIIIITLE salt and even less pepper.

  • @Mike-pj1kv
    @Mike-pj1kv 4 года назад +12

    6:00 Aunt Martha is never going to get over this.

  • @svinjamaria
    @svinjamaria 4 года назад +16

    Ralf’s Bizarre Depression - Pride is Breakable

  • @lmtx45
    @lmtx45 Год назад +7

    the only appliance that turn food cutting into a 2-man job

  • @user-xd5pp2ts8p
    @user-xd5pp2ts8p 7 лет назад +32

    What's that? You've looked through your local grocery store can't find pre-peeled potatoes and pre-cored apples, *or* even make cheesecakes that magically decorate themselves? Just become a person in an infomercial! After all, anything's possible when you signed your brand-new Faustian contract.

  • @Allynics
    @Allynics 6 лет назад +46

    Anyone notice when they made the salad they mixed it up, and at the end the salad was perfect again? And when did they get time to garnish the cheesecake? 😂

    • @empresskrissy1527
      @empresskrissy1527 2 года назад +2

      Plus the crust goes up the sides of the cheesecake after it's cooked. When you see Mimi forming the crust, she doesn't push it up the sides. Who makes apple pie with the skins still on the apples??

  • @ahealingplace7350
    @ahealingplace7350 Год назад +6

    9:11 the reaction to "a little bit of cream cheese" 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @btr1965
    @btr1965 2 года назад +12

    10:20 is that guy getting a handy under the table ??

    • @hoagie1978
      @hoagie1978 11 месяцев назад +1

      Looks like it. 🤣

  • @Kazutoification
    @Kazutoification 8 лет назад +65

    4:36 Ketchup is in a zig-zag pattern, but then it's not afterwards. rip

    • @thebrickboy103
      @thebrickboy103  8 лет назад +5

      +Kazutoification Good catch

    • @Kazutoification
      @Kazutoification 8 лет назад +4

      +thebrickboy103 I also just noticed there were two kids in the beginning. And those pepperonis on the pizza... And the cut to the meatloaf was just insane! XD

    • @thebrickboy103
      @thebrickboy103  8 лет назад +1

      Kazutoification Thanks for pointing these things out to me. I never noticed those watching the infomercials. Let me know if you find anything else

    • @Kazutoification
      @Kazutoification 8 лет назад +7

      +thebrickboy103 Food suddenly appears and disappears. The pizza? Mimi was cutting it and then they just forget about it. The ingredients just happen to pop up! THEY'RE WIZARDS! Also, the one lady had a magazine, but then it's gone. There are grapes in the background, but then it's wine later on.

    • @caseyj5637
      @caseyj5637 7 лет назад

      What's wrong with the meatloaf (besides being made from turkey)?

  • @torgiebride8558
    @torgiebride8558 6 лет назад +17

    That pizza is nasty as hell. No garlic, no basil. Nothing but fake ass infomercial love! XD

  • @iGot1776Probrums
    @iGot1776Probrums 5 лет назад +11

    “A little bit of cream cheese”
    *dumps 4 extra large packs”

  • @hansmatheson5976
    @hansmatheson5976 7 лет назад +66

    The contempt in the limey's voice every time he yells "better than anything you get in a restaurant!!" is great. I don't know where these garbage people eat out at but goddamn man, that pizza was terrifyingly rough and that salad was ridiculous in size and concept.

    • @Ser_Arthur_Dayne
      @Ser_Arthur_Dayne 4 года назад +11

      I know right? He's always saying "better than anything you could get in any restaurant! " and literally every single thing sucks. The pizza Was terrifying and that was one sorry ass salad .... the meatloaf looked like Armour potted meat and the nachos looked like you'd have to PAY ME to eat.

    • @BurgerKingHarkinian
      @BurgerKingHarkinian 3 года назад +3

      @@Ser_Arthur_Dayne Well, they WERE payed to eat it. lol

    • @missbleach8767
      @missbleach8767 Год назад +1

      @@BurgerKingHarkinian 🍔

  • @oejsy
    @oejsy 6 лет назад +171

    she does,, not understand how pizza sauce works

  • @avalonpotter2319
    @avalonpotter2319 4 года назад +5

    Watched the magic bullet infomercials so often that my grandmother got me a magic bullet for Christmas as a child. 12/10 even better than they say

  • @LuisMorales-dk8hk
    @LuisMorales-dk8hk 3 года назад +12

    Here in Mexico they showed a dubbed version in spanish, when the old lady said “My mixer cost 150 bucks” the dubbed version says “pues fue bastante costosa” which literally means “well, it was pretty expensive”

    • @kewl851
      @kewl851 2 года назад +2

      HAHAHAHA!!!

  • @michaelroberts6758
    @michaelroberts6758 5 лет назад +6

    Ralph deserves an Emmy