What Motivates a Narcissist to Change?

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  • Опубликовано: 12 ноя 2024

Комментарии • 37

  • @rebeccaconn389
    @rebeccaconn389 8 месяцев назад +1

    Such an amazing journey!!! So proud of you !!!! Keep up the great work for you, your family and for all those learning from you.

  • @rebekahjette6304
    @rebekahjette6304 Год назад +8

    God is using you to change lives Ben! ☝️

    • @mardishores4016
      @mardishores4016 Год назад

      I dont believe in the god of the bible, if that's the god you refer to. The god of the bible is a malignant psychopath. Have you actually READ THE BIBLE? Seriously, I'm not trying to be nasty. The bible is fiction.

  • @writer1986
    @writer1986 Год назад +6

    I admit my husband and I have a rocky marriage. Some time last year we got into a heated argument, and he complained about how he IS changing, so I shouted back, "Then show me!", and he was just flabbergasted--he didn't know there was a difference between "saying" he'll change and actually "showing" change. Long story short, we're in couples counseling and he's actually showing changes in his behavior. It took 5 years of marriage to get here. Aiyayai!

    • @mardishores4016
      @mardishores4016 Год назад +1

      Best wishes for you both! I fear I might be one. I have a nasty temper, and my partner and I have said some really nasty things to each other. I try really hard to squash the name calling. I feel like a piece of shit afterwards. Ashamed of things I've said and done to people, especially when I was younger. I hate my younger self. Not proud of the harm I have caused. I have cut out some members of my family over LGBQT issues. No longer christian.Atheist. My brother, now deceased, hated gays. We never got along since early childhood. I wanted so much to reconcile. We had some vicious exchanges over the years. Both severely abused as children Domestic violence was rampant in my family system for many generations. It's still going on. I rarely speak to the cousins I grew up with. Most are deceased. I saw many psychiatrists over 35 years. Non diagnosed me with NPD, but several agreed I was bi polar, 1 and 2. One questioned that I might be borderline PD. But, I recently discovered that some NPD's were mistakenly diagnosed as bi polar. Scary. I know how hated and 'demonized' they are. It's tragic, cause I didn't choose my family ifmr genetics. Guess that may come across that I justify ir excuse my anger problems I have attempted suicide multiple times. Instead of using the psych drugs to do it. I wish I
      had purchased a shot gun. I still wish I was dead. Guilt and shame gnaw at me because of the harm I have done to people close to me. I even beat 2 pets. I can NEVER forgive myself for hurting my partner. Even if I knew for a fact that my partner had forgiven me. It's not fun. The psyche drugs have turned me into a chemically lobotomized
      zombie. Destroyed libido completely. I'm we were to separate again, I will never be in another relationship. Have never wanted to be with anyone else since we met. But we have had 2 break ups. One 7 mos. One 7 years. Religious BS caused religious trauma syndrome. Still not healed.I doubt I ever will. Life long struggle.
      Enough. Have revealed too much already. I may edit or delete this, later, because if shame and guilt. I'd rather die than hurt my partner again, as I have in years past. I'm almost 75 yrs. old. Too G damm exhausted to fight. I hate fights. I am afraid of my mouth. Done.

    • @s0me0ne1se
      @s0me0ne1se Год назад

      @@mardishores4016it’s never too late. You’re strong. God made you realize and process all of the things you’ve gone through and done to the ones close to you for a reason. Fight the good fight.

    • @lakshmi5538
      @lakshmi5538 6 месяцев назад

      Glad there is some light. I m hoping that happens in my partner.

  • @embassysweets8607
    @embassysweets8607 Год назад +5

    Respect for being so transparent on your own struggles. 💯

  • @rockybalboa4593
    @rockybalboa4593 Год назад +12

    I wonder if exposure will ever cause them to change. They will only try to change if they feel there is a personal benefit in it for them. I also wonder if a narcissist can ever learn about narcissists and read about the traits and possibly recognize if they had a toxic narcissistic parent who made them what they are. I also believe where on the spectrum the level of narcissism falls on also has a lot to do with any successful change. I think higher level malignant narcissists, sociopaths, or psychopaths are far less likely to change.

  • @Imnotyourdoormat
    @Imnotyourdoormat Год назад +5

    If an Alligator has been taught table manners has it changed?... Or is it still just a Reptile that uses a napkin and doesn't eat too many salads?

  • @dianaalyssa8726
    @dianaalyssa8726 Год назад +2

    Nice that you had the desire/awareness to change.

  • @anettewaits3677
    @anettewaits3677 Год назад +2

    …I’am glad you did it and you are helping a lot of people…and yes you can only change if you do the work and have the consistency - Thanks Ben 💚

  • @richardfrank4647
    @richardfrank4647 Год назад +3

    Amen 🌈🌈

    • @TYP1970
      @TYP1970 Год назад

      What's the rainbow for?

    • @richardfrank4647
      @richardfrank4647 Год назад

      @@TYP1970 it represents the promises of God , the Bible is true Jesus is alive he comes to life in us when we receive the free gift of salvation read Roman’s chapter 10 vs9 it explains what you need to do to inherit eternal life, anyway Since I accepted Jesus as my lord and savior 22 yrs ago at 37 yrs old Jesus has revealed to me the word of God is true God used rainbows to encourage me and if you want know more about it check out Jewish Jesus he has started a movement of God is taking the rainbow back we’re the devil has perverted the rainbow 🌈 🌈God bless you 🌈🌈

  • @over-comer
    @over-comer Год назад

    I didn't know I was the one who needed to change. When I woke up to my own issues it no longer mattered to the other side. My destruction is their goal. It feels a bit like Terminator.

  • @ScarletJeiSaoirse
    @ScarletJeiSaoirse 3 месяца назад +1

    Ok but, if this is a sickness, and the world keeps telling to hate narcissists, and the narcissist hates themselves, what can help? What’s the other side of this? If a narcissist is stuck in this psychological traumatic disconnect and truly can’t help it wtf is next?

  • @prietagarcia1155
    @prietagarcia1155 Год назад +1

    How long it took you to get to the point where you are now? Do you feel true love? Do you catch yourself with old habits?

  • @Mechanically_Speaking
    @Mechanically_Speaking Год назад

    Just spent 3 years loving a woman i thought I would marry. I saw the signs all along but kept taking her back every time. This last time I took her back just to get discarded a week later, followed by the silent treatment, a couple attitude changes just to have her accidentally send me a text meant for the new supply. Im still involved with her son whom i have a bond with, ( which she begged me to form stronger just a month prior) and shes now telling me he hates me and other bs. She gave me the classic " have to focus on my son and myself and dont want a relationship" line. Ive been trying to gently show her whats going on and offering support and just begging her to consider the possibility that she might need some help, but to no avail. How do you get through to them? I love this girl very much and want her to be happy and not die old and lonely. But most of all I want to be there as a role model for her 13 year old son before he becomes one too. What do I do? Im lost😔

    • @RawMotivations
      @RawMotivations  Год назад

      Go to rawmotivations.com it’s a start of helping you heal and deal with the hard truths

  • @andrerosekriel1127
    @andrerosekriel1127 2 месяца назад

    Is this behavior hereditary? My husband did come from a very good, loving background. He was an only child, though. He was also very, very intelligent-no jokes! Thanks for sharing and have a great Thursday

  • @richardfrank4647
    @richardfrank4647 Год назад

    Can you speak about the connection between narcissism and addiction did you overcome addiction ❓🌈🌈

  • @richardfrank4647
    @richardfrank4647 Год назад +2

    We’re dose addiction come in I am noticing a connection to narcissism and addiction, was you addict? Did u overcome addiction ?🌈🌈

    • @tammyfitzgerald5336
      @tammyfitzgerald5336 Год назад +1

      Alcoholic s and dry alcoholic s it’s sad sad sad 😢my poor son

    • @richardfrank4647
      @richardfrank4647 Год назад

      @@tammyfitzgerald5336God bless you and your son, 🌈🌈for me I had to get Holy Spirit on board and feed my spirit man the word of God before I was able yo overcome addiction first of all God has revealed to me mightily that the word of God is true 1 Timothy 2 vs5 for there is one God and one mediator between God and men. The man Christ Jesus 🌈🌈salvation is a free Gift but we must receive it Romans chapter 10 vs 9tells you how, after you do that you need to renew mind by reading the word of Gods the Bible it’s called the washing of the word wr have to repent of ours sins addiction is a sin, God is love so first you declare Jesus as your lord and believe in your ♥️ he was raised from death to life 3 days after he was crucified and you shall be saved , next step id renewing your mind bible says do not be conformed to this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind by reading word of God and as you read it Holy Spirit will convict you were your life dosnline up with it and will help you to change in that area🩸

  • @tammyfitzgerald5336
    @tammyfitzgerald5336 Год назад +1

    Look you can never ever change a narcissist my brother I have tried to change for 54 years sorry 😢truth this is a sad mentally sad

    • @mardishores4016
      @mardishores4016 Год назад

      You can't change anyone.You can only change yourself. I'm not very successful thus far. But I am making the effort. I dont trust psychiatrists at all, because of the harm the drugs have done to my body and mind. They can't even agree on a gawd damm diagnoses after 35 frickin years. Some of them are narcs themselves. The heakthcare system has an abundance of them. As well as politicians music and acting, and law enforcement. Psychopaths make the best surgeons. They are fearless and calm. Would trust them over someone who prays to an invisible,imaginary
      sky daddy. The god of the bible is a malignant sociopath. And the book of Revelation depicts Jesus as a malignant sociopath Most Christians probably have never even read the entire Bible They want to cherry pick what feels good, and lie to themselves about the horror of the stuff that is appalling. The Catholic Church is a force for evil, not good. Done.

  • @richardfrank4647
    @richardfrank4647 Год назад +1

    🌈🌈

  • @tammyfitzgerald5336
    @tammyfitzgerald5336 Год назад

    Let God show them 🎉🙏🏽🙌🙏🏽🙌💯give em all STD a lord 😂😂😂😂😂😂

  • @thisisharrible7467
    @thisisharrible7467 Год назад +1

    Prison sometimes

    • @tammyfitzgerald5336
      @tammyfitzgerald5336 Год назад

      Why we need mental hospitals 😢

    • @thisisharrible7467
      @thisisharrible7467 Год назад +2

      @@tammyfitzgerald5336 I don't know, some of them should be behind bars for the rest of their life

    • @mardishores4016
      @mardishores4016 Год назад

      ​@@tammyfitzgerald5336 Many na😅narcissists are in the healthcare system. More than you might imagine. I had a sociopathic psychiatrist. Abusers are everywhere. Lots of surgeons are psycopaths. Id rather have a psychopathic atheist surgeon than a religious one that prayed to an imaginary sky daddy. Shows nervousness and anxiety. Psychopaths are fearless. In some instances a psychopath is the guy to go for. Strange paradox, eh?

  • @MaggyGaucho
    @MaggyGaucho Год назад +1

    💪🏽💪🏽💪🏽

  • @mardishores4016
    @mardishores4016 Год назад

    I might be a narcissist. I am a nicotine addict and shopaholic. Many things people can be addicted to.Not just drugs and sex.

  • @richardfrank4647
    @richardfrank4647 Год назад +2

    Amen 🌈🌈