Why Narcissists Hate and Love You

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  • Опубликовано: 3 дек 2024

Комментарии • 102

  • @Pixelpioneer865
    @Pixelpioneer865 7 месяцев назад +26

    They pretend to love you only when things are their way.

    • @chrissemenko628
      @chrissemenko628 5 месяцев назад +2

      Their reality is literally moment to moment.
      They love you in the moment, hate you on the moment,

  • @RK-yt3rk
    @RK-yt3rk Год назад +87

    How can anyone treat someone like this and be human? This is such cruel BS. That is sociopathic.

    • @Elsie144k
      @Elsie144k Год назад +11

      Yes, I don’t even know if my ex is narcissistic. He seems more sociopathic at times. But there is a lot of overlap in the cluster B personality disorders in the DSM

    • @crystalsoul77
      @crystalsoul77 Год назад

      @@Elsie144ki😊

    • @crystalsoul77
      @crystalsoul77 Год назад +1

      Nonn

    • @theguynextdoor4978
      @theguynextdoor4978 6 месяцев назад +4

      @@Elsie144k Yup, there are a lot of overlapping traits. That's why it can be hard at times to tell them apart. For example, the malignant narcissist is a hybrid of psychopath and narc. There are different categories of narcissists also. The most sneaky ones are the covert, because they behave covertly and can "tone down" their narcissism as a part of their manipulation.

    • @Elsie144k
      @Elsie144k 6 месяцев назад +1

      @@theguynextdoor4978 💯 correct. Was married to a covert narc/sociopath. Hes very good at masking and can blend in quite nicely. Has every one fooled. But to me he seems like a robot. Canned responses. Fake emotions. It’s eerry. And creepy.

  • @stebarg
    @stebarg Год назад +43

    I never had the feeling of being loved by my partner.

    • @orchider143
      @orchider143 Год назад +5

      Ditto! I had an ongoing argument in my head wether or not he did. A long time ago we i.e. me myself and I, agreed that he didn’t. I stayed for religious reasons.

    • @lauraoliver525
      @lauraoliver525 Год назад +4

      Same here 😢

    • @stebarg
      @stebarg Год назад +1

      @@orchider143 The funny thing is the narc thinks the same most likely but for no reason. That's at least my experience/ observation. A narc mocks you for example just for the sake of an argument. The narc is not interested in a solution, but in rage or fighting.
      Just an example. As my partner bankrupted me, I have to stay at my mother's house at the moment which is extremely painful as the relationship is toxic as she's a narc too. She forces me to do all kinds of tasks for her for free, although I have to pay a high rent to her for one side of the house.
      She asked me to clear a certain area in the garden. Three days after I finished the clearing she told me what I did wrong and gave me the feeling that I'm a bad person. She told me that I cut the wrong plants at some locations. I asked her how we can improve the situation next time. That made her angry and she told me that I always need to ask her if I do anything in the garden.
      I told her, that this is not clear to me, as I can't ask her every time when I lift a finger. As I'm constantly doing things this is completely impractical as she's not with me all the time. I would need to stop my work every five seconds and walk to her to ask for permission to cut or do whatever I wanted to do.
      She just repeated her demand/ order and run away as I replied the same. I wanted to find a solution she just put blame on me for my free of charge work. I feel like a slave. Even worse to be honest. A slave don't have to pay rent and needs to buy his own food and everything.

  • @whoopdeedoo876
    @whoopdeedoo876 5 месяцев назад +10

    Mine would jokingly say "I hate you" - because he said I was too perfect for him, but then after I dumped him for cheating on me the whole relationship, he flipped and said I was never good enough. Such BS from these crazy people.

  • @bronyk7997
    @bronyk7997 Год назад +23

    I just don’t try anymore or takes anything seriously…. it’s such a joke I honestly don’t feel anything more towards this person …

  • @Cellia836
    @Cellia836 Год назад +35

    It's cruel and heart breaking. He did this to me! I hope someone does the same thing to him! If they do, I will buy them dinner! He acts just like a Psychopath! Today is day number 153 of no contact! My highest record so far.

    • @gailmellem9751
      @gailmellem9751 Год назад +2

      Great keep going. Karma is Real and has no time limit.

    • @Cellia836
      @Cellia836 Год назад +4

      @@gailmellem9751 It feels like he will never get his though. Caught the cheating hoe on zoosk by accident.. victim shopping for someone new to destroy. I wish I knew who his new women are so I could tell them what he did to me. So they run for the hills too.

    • @Cellia836
      @Cellia836 Год назад +3

      @@gailmellem9751 I hope it is. It seems like the bad guys always get away with it. While the good guys suffer it seems like. They can keep going into other peoples lives, destroying them left and right without any consequences at all. It makes my blood boil anymore, thinking about it.

    • @kalebwelsh6486
      @kalebwelsh6486 7 месяцев назад

      @@Cellia836 curious how are you going today? Still split from the narc ex

  • @rhondawampner688
    @rhondawampner688 Год назад +12

    Yes he does that to me. Back and forth for 3 years. Yes push and pull, and up and down.

    • @jurepotokar9068
      @jurepotokar9068 8 месяцев назад +2

      Same here for four and a half years. In my case it's she...

    • @xuemma-pb7ys
      @xuemma-pb7ys 4 месяца назад

      Same for 4.5 years .every morning the first thing I wondered was :do I have boyfriend today ?now he is gonna ! My life is back in normal .peaceful and full of hope

  • @MinaDV5
    @MinaDV5 Год назад +30

    So relatable & so glad finally out of that ridiculous chaos! So manipulative & deceitful.. .
    It's disgusting!!

    • @ru.m.6119
      @ru.m.6119 Год назад +2

      Good that you are out of that toxic, I am almost there.

  • @shelbyandblush
    @shelbyandblush 11 месяцев назад +9

    I would press like like button 1,000 times if I could. This is an absolutely invaluable video. ♡

  • @JaneDoe-qy5jz
    @JaneDoe-qy5jz Год назад +19

    This is exactly what he's done. It's a form of torture. Not knowing what's real or not. I keep telling myself it's all been.a lie. A total destruction of me and my life. I'm not calling or answering the phone. My life is a wreck. I have to try to save me!! Im angry and I feel like such a fool!!

    • @nadinesoussi7352
      @nadinesoussi7352 7 месяцев назад +1

      Well dear just think of it like this ,you are not a lone, they are evil there is no other explanation it's hard but time will heal you and you will be stronger .

    • @tarrapascol-tk3zr
      @tarrapascol-tk3zr 6 месяцев назад +1

      I’m with you I finally made a decision and told him he had to leave I couldn’t take it anymore I’m so heart broken I just want to die but I have to make it I just did it today please pray for me I need help ❤

    • @nadinesoussi7352
      @nadinesoussi7352 6 месяцев назад

      @@tarrapascol-tk3zr your time will come dear sister and you will look back and realise that he is not for you and the right one will come along and you will know you've done the right thing ,it's always something bad for something realy good ,God bless you .😘❤

  • @theguynextdoor4978
    @theguynextdoor4978 6 месяцев назад +10

    I believe narcissists love based on how they perceive reality. But they don't love the way emotionally healthy individuals view love. Narcs and non-narcs perceive reality differently from each other. For example, a narcissist may mimic actions of love because they have ulterior motives, and a normal individual love because they genuinely love.

  • @ziyandamgwetyana9304
    @ziyandamgwetyana9304 Год назад +12

    You are God sent!! I came across your channel at the perfect time when I could not understand the person I was dating, I was so confused and then I started watching your videos and it made sense ( everything you said described my ex partner!!) I didn't even know what a narcissist is or if there are such people untill I watched your videos. I recently broke up with him..... actually he broke up with me but kept coming back and I believed he would stay but he kept coming back and disappearing !! Now it makes so much sense I finally just recently blocked him ( it's not easy coz I love him but what he was doing to me was not healthy)

    • @RawMotivations
      @RawMotivations  Год назад +2

      Would love to help you on your healing journey. If I can be of help feel free to grab a time here at www.rawmotivations.com

  • @AremAsha
    @AremAsha Год назад +13

    Mine was a see-saw of push and pull, pursue retreat, compliment with plausibly deniable backhand insult, adoring and dismissive. From the word go. I really should have had better self esteem. Even during sexual encounters. Complained every time about my pacing?? (Control). And said off handedly while looking at my tanned small chest “my grandmother had tiny ones and was over tanned, her small wrinkled chest made me feel sick. Or “who was the butcher who did that to you?” My caesarean scar. Or You really should spend less time in the sun.”
    I was really body confident so his comments about my body didn’t bother me too much at the time. The deniable way he was “talking about his gran” or “insulting the surgeon, not my body.” Was so underhanded tho. This guy was NO oil painting!!! I remember thinking at one stage, you are punching above your weight and we are having some pretty good sex! You should be at least polite, if not complimentary dammit!” 😆
    I excused it because I thought he might be on the spectrum and just say what popped Into his head. But no, turned out he was a very nasty insidious piece of work!

  • @lindarudolph8465
    @lindarudolph8465 Год назад +3

    feel like my eyes have suddenly opened!!!! so so so spot on - textbook!
    I feel so worthless and pathetic after allowing this to go on for such a long time!!! and then making excuses for him when my gut tells me this is toxic
    Time for change

    • @RawMotivations
      @RawMotivations  Год назад +2

      Don’t judge yourself for letting it happen when you didn’t know then. Https://www.rawmotivations.com/escape-toxicity

    • @lindarudolph8465
      @lindarudolph8465 Год назад

      thank you! So glad to find your channel@@RawMotivations

  • @fightswithspirits915
    @fightswithspirits915 Год назад +11

    Being affectionate??? lmaoooo One day I said after a year, "Do you know we have never made love?" She replied, "Yes." That was the entirety on the conversation....

  • @twinkletee22
    @twinkletee22 Месяц назад

    I had no idea to even be aware of all the narc tactics but when you meet one n with one you will never I repeat never forget it

  • @khurramawan6338
    @khurramawan6338 Год назад +8

    Clinical precision. Appreciate the clarity you're bringing.

  • @michelezeug5206
    @michelezeug5206 Год назад +8

    NEEDY CHILDREN!

  • @Sally-vn5le
    @Sally-vn5le Год назад +7

    A narcissist has never done a good thing!

  • @caur739
    @caur739 Год назад +10

    Yes , it is all a play going on inside their own head and you are just a part time actor in their drama. He used to 'affectionately' call me ' a thorn in his side ' .... There is no substance or consistency to the relationship

  • @gailmellem9751
    @gailmellem9751 Год назад +18

    A Narc cannot love. What you describing how the Narc define love its not love. How can they love when they don't even love themself. You cannot give what you don't possess. Real love does not hurt . Scripture declare love is kind. Sow, how can a Narc love when his/her mission are only about Use and Abuse.

    • @RawMotivations
      @RawMotivations  Год назад +7

      Their mission is only themselves which isn’t love at all.

  • @BeTheLight624
    @BeTheLight624 7 месяцев назад +1

    Thank you for the raw truth in this video. I wish I knew this years ago. It helps to know the push/pull dynamic keeps you stuck. I felt confused and immobilized for so long because of the conflicting information I was given, I didn’t know what was going on, I didn’t know what was real.
    Does the narc find this funny that they know how to fool you? Absolutely humiliating and cruel.
    Thank you for exposing the truth of this narc manipulation.

  • @tiffymoore
    @tiffymoore Год назад +6

    He literally said I hate you but I love you too

    • @ru.m.6119
      @ru.m.6119 11 месяцев назад +5

      Same here, so I responded the same, I match his energy now, what he does to me I do to him.

    • @chrissemenko628
      @chrissemenko628 5 месяцев назад

      ​@@ru.m.6119 You "match his energy" now.
      So on.some level you're enjoying the game, no?

  • @jakestown1952
    @jakestown1952 3 месяца назад

    When you mentioned about pivotal change at an engagement, I was hit hard. When I look back, that was a big turning point. Things got ramped up and have been for 17 years. I have also had numerous autoimmune problems, chronic stress, anxiety, cptsd, chronic pain, depression, etc. Two kids and self employed doing a physical job. I dont know how Ive managed.

  • @ru.m.6119
    @ru.m.6119 Год назад +6

    He loves me becuase I can take his crap, that's the response I received when I asked him why the heck do you say you love me and treat me like you hate me? So, I left and just stopped talking to him and then he notices I am not interested anymore and then he calls me and tells me he cant be with out me and he loves me more than I will ever know. -> My brain- hahaha yea right, liar, I no longer believe him. And yes, to this video its all true. I just want to cry...
    He hates that I don't want to do anything he says or tells me anymore.

  • @lizbarrand7701
    @lizbarrand7701 Год назад +6

    This is all too familiar. It was the most upsetting, frustrating thing in the world.

  • @edgreen8140
    @edgreen8140 Год назад +8

    Intermitteent reinforcement.

    • @kamed.
      @kamed. Год назад +2

      💯!

    • @Malacha-q6n
      @Malacha-q6n Год назад

      Yes. But they don't even realize that that's what they are doing. Some of them are retarded. My husband was slow af. He could barely read. And then you have the super smart ones...

  • @sandracaezza7234
    @sandracaezza7234 Год назад +10

    I stopped being his supply as a wife.
    Exhausting not normal.
    He went to Gold gym found new supply, social media gay porn
    I watched for 3 months. He was so caught up in self he did not know.
    I discarded 1-1-23. Surprise!
    Divorce signed 6 mo no contact
    I had 24 yrs enough narc/addict
    Relapse recovery rinse repeat
    I deserved ALL that I have now!
    PEACE. They never change I’m 72
    & have learned from all of it.
    Healing me with trauma based help

    • @shawshank6015
      @shawshank6015 Год назад +1

      I turned 60 I'm going through this 39yrs. I have got to do something now. Take back what's left of my life.

    • @ru.m.6119
      @ru.m.6119 11 месяцев назад +2

      Ouch, sorry to hear that, but you are better off after all those years. Enjoy your peace sister! Be well and relax now you will be alright!

    • @cassiebennet4262
      @cassiebennet4262 8 месяцев назад +1

      I hope people see your testimony and realise it's not worth staying. It's what's known as "sunk cost fallacy." I hope you get all the peace and happiness you deserve. 🤗🎉❤

    • @sandracaezza7234
      @sandracaezza7234 8 месяцев назад

      @@cassiebennet4262ty and yes to my happiness. I feel young at heart & grateful for what I have ahead of me

  • @DW-bc2gl
    @DW-bc2gl Год назад +1

    Unbelievable. Thank you

  • @mdel4541
    @mdel4541 10 месяцев назад +1

    I wish I knew this long ago ... thank you ❤

  • @lorrainegordon6745
    @lorrainegordon6745 3 месяца назад

    I think to stop the trouble bomb is realized this toxic person is going to keep doing what they are doing. To break free is stand your ground, and force on yourself and love yourself. That how a person heal.

  • @Joe-hf3cn
    @Joe-hf3cn Год назад +1

    Dayum..your insight is next level Jedi knight.. it's true, my narcissistic ex (who won't leave my home btw)fits that description to the t...
    You're scaring me with your crystal ball wisdom lol

    • @Floridafanatic28
      @Floridafanatic28 Год назад +2

      It's not wisdom it's experience. He's a narcissist.

  • @carmenmangion4652
    @carmenmangion4652 Год назад +1

    Thankyou so much

  • @carmenmangion4652
    @carmenmangion4652 Год назад

    So so thankyou never go back I did nt have peace in my life if he go for work I give him lift I make him the laundry clothes I cook etc not anymore I was stuck but now I m really good I pray to God I change alot I don t want him

  • @letnothingslide1969
    @letnothingslide1969 Год назад +1

    Ben u explanations t great

  • @bettycarmella1127
    @bettycarmella1127 Год назад +1

    Reminds me of the song “I hate you I love you”🤦🏽‍♀️

  • @sissysp8924
    @sissysp8924 9 месяцев назад +1

    Empaths love unconditional narratives love conditional not the same. It’s sad they think we are crazy because we feel deeper than most. Sucks

  • @angiebrown6524
    @angiebrown6524 5 месяцев назад +1

    Narc love when they feel threatened to mask their true feelings

  • @Roxas2010
    @Roxas2010 2 месяца назад

    Before knowing about narcissism I used the analogy of chewing gum. She will chew me when she likes me. The next day she spits me out when she's done with me.

  • @geesus2963
    @geesus2963 Год назад

    I cant grasp how often you upload new videos :D

  • @rhondawampner688
    @rhondawampner688 Год назад +2

    Why does a narcissist talk to total stranger's about there xs in front of you? Or they may tell. A stranger something about you in front of you?

  • @alouise3557
    @alouise3557 Год назад +3

    So, since you're a Narcissist, trying to tell all of us that Narcs aren't capable of love, are you saying you aren't in love with your wife and you've never been in love with her?

  • @ermaioannou8398
    @ermaioannou8398 Год назад +2

    I met this guy who seemed really nice we became friends i kind of led him on abit at the beginning promising slowly slowy it might become romantic.Then i decided what am i doing im not attracted to him so i told him lets be just friends
    Anyway we went out quite a few times he bought me things then he would ghost me and this kept continuing all the time and then he would text or call and i would keep going back but still mentioning we are just friends now he has ghosted me again im tired of these childish games i have now blocked him but the problem is we sometimes frequent the same place and i see him i want no more of this phsichological warfare im done he can beg and promise the world but im never going back he believes he is so entitled one minute getting my expectations up and then letting me down no contact has to be ni contact enough of the mind games.

    • @julioarroyo9101
      @julioarroyo9101 6 месяцев назад +1

      Sounds like you did like him. If you felt nothing for him or attractions why would you continue communicating after being ghosted if your not interested?

  • @PopsicleSponge
    @PopsicleSponge Год назад +3

    Ohhh I'm being reverse hoovered. Every time i disagreed my partner would blow up and leave the house. It made me never want to make her unhappy. Now she has cheated on me but keeps saying she still loves me. Sending nudes and then 1 hour before i went round her house. Telling me she hates me and i shouldn't go. Then 30 mins later begging for me to come round. Now we have had sex. She pretty much instantly discarded me. This is the 6th time "We are over" and I've been pulled back in. I literally told her "I don't believe you when you say you don't want me" Fuck me. I just have to pray my son doesn't pick up on her BS mind games.

  • @carmenmangion4652
    @carmenmangion4652 Год назад +3

    Yes it is evil bad spirit and not the first time in the beginning he fight with the hands . Not first but 3 times I had an injury in my hand I had to stay 3 days hospital and the doctor ask me . I was lying . . Becoz of him . Poeple this is not love but abusing verbal and violence ... He is so pride for woman's just to have sex like bitches ... I m still healing but I m really doing good .. thanks to Juses . Never he leaves me in the good spirit

  • @xuemma-pb7ys
    @xuemma-pb7ys 4 месяца назад

    I left my Nac ex for 1.5 months now ,2 weeks ago we talked about my shipment in his place .he lost my shipment but still blame me for wasting his money on the shipment .even the contents in the box costs more than the shipment expense ,he did not say sorry .

    • @xuemma-pb7ys
      @xuemma-pb7ys 4 месяца назад

      I can say,my life without Nac is soooo lovely and brighter and colorful and peaceful .

    • @RawMotivations
      @RawMotivations  4 месяца назад

      We're here to support your healing journey. Come join us in this free masterclass to learn about the secret methods on breaking free from the toxic, break the bond and empower yourself once more. Just head over to www.rawmotivations.com/masterclass.

  • @lorrainegordon6745
    @lorrainegordon6745 3 месяца назад

    Can a narcissis love there enemy?

  • @michaelmuniz5172
    @michaelmuniz5172 Месяц назад

    Start fights just so he could run away and cheat with anyone

  • @tammyshook8883
    @tammyshook8883 Год назад

    I hope my comment isn't rude cause I just need to ask questions

  • @michaelmuniz5172
    @michaelmuniz5172 Месяц назад

    He told me that he was extremely jealous of his son when he was a baby because the baby took the attention away from him. We were supposed to be trying to get pregnant and all I saw was🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩.

  • @anettewaits3677
    @anettewaits3677 Год назад

    👍💚

  • @caseythomasr.8973
    @caseythomasr.8973 5 месяцев назад +1

    Seems a little bit like simp vibes here because there are plenty of narcissists that are women should have been better on delivery for both

  • @claudiaschneider5744
    @claudiaschneider5744 6 месяцев назад +1

    Sorry, but a real narc can not love anybody out of his very heart - because he does not have a real heart - there is only a black stone instead of a human heart.

  • @anonymousavatar57
    @anonymousavatar57 Год назад +8

    He'd Refer to our relationship as love-hate relationship instead of on and off relationship.. I always womdered why..🤌🏽🤌🏽🤌🏽