Agree! I also noticed that and I love how they invested in what’s being said that they know when to comfort each other. I also appreciate that Sam is really trying hard to give Melissa her chance whereas we’ve been listening to his story a lot. I think that’s so neat to see.
You helped your parents by being real Melissa, as hard as I'm sure it was to go through. Things had to be broken down to then be rebuilt into something better. Thanks for sharing your story so openly and honestly. It is helpful to hear. Love your channel, you two are fantastic!
I love your story Melissa. Especially, finding Sam. Here's mine. I was sitting in the choir at church after a failed marriage and a boyfriend that God physically moved to another state. I was so glum that day, talking to God and saying stuff like "I'm gonna be an old woman with cats." I looked around the congregation searching for single men and finding no one suitable. As we stood to sing "I surrender all" a man comes down the aisle to make a profession of faith. In my mind I though" Yeah Lord it will probably be this guy". We've been married for over thirty years now. God works in mysterious ways, and sometimes he laughs at our silliness.
“And we have two awesome kids.” “Yes we do!” I hate to be a dork, but I always 😊 at this in every episode. 😆 Just wanted to say how much I appreciate your channel. 👍
I'm halfway through this and wanted to jump in and say that I think this role reversal is going swimmingly! You both actually LISTEN to each other no matter who is doing the asking, so to speak. I also like how pictures of your youth, etc., have been scattered within the show. GREAT job!! XO from Lisa in Pennsylvania
Making me cry while trying to put on my makeup😢 I’m sorry you thought what happened between your partners was your fault❤ I’m glad you no longer place the blame on yourself. How beautiful your parents loved each other through their faith journeys.
Melissa, thank you for sharing and well done, Sam, in your role as interviewer! A few things I would love to know more about Melissa’s story: - gender roles you saw growing up in the home and church and what you thought about them - more about your experience playing tennis and how did that match with Mormon values. - what you went to college for? - did you ever try out any evangelical Christian churchs when you were feeling you no longer believed in Mormonism? - what were the main points that made you not believe? What part of the church history? Did you feel lied to or deceived after finding out more information? - what more specifically were qualities you were looking for in a husband when you went back to church to try to find your husband
I absolutely love the follow up questions that Sam asked, because sometimes when Melissa was speaking she was all speaking as if all of her audience is Mormon, and some of the lingo I didn't know because I'm not Mormon so I'm glad that he asked her to clarify and explain certain Mormon lingo, and Melissa explained it excellent... Good job Melissa and Sam💯😁
I was hanging on to every word that each of you spoke in this video. From a non-Mormon, I found it so interesting, and I finally understand why the Mormons that I know are so steeped in their religion and beliefs. I do believe that your upbringing helped to shape you into the beautiful people that you are today! I can hardly wait for the next video when you tell about how you started your life together. Thank you so much for sharing your lives with us. I don’t think you realize how much people love you because of who you are, and the godly character you portray, even though you have stepped out of your “faith”. I believe the Holy Spirit really has been leading both of you into the true freedom of God himself. This is so much bigger than what the Mormon church has made him out to be! you both are so precious! Thank you.
Melissa, kudos to you for being so honest and vulnerable it takes guts. I love how authentic you both are and so straight up about your journeys, much love ❤
I remember listening to a former UK LDS member on Mormon Stories mention the Temple and the unfairness of the rules. There was an elderly woman in his ward who couldn’t tithe, or she would lose her government assistance. She confessed to him how she would love to see the Temple and experience the blessings, but she wasn’t allowed because of tithing. He thought it was a terrible restriction, and I agree. She was so sad that she was forever barred from being in the Temple. Thanks for sharing your story, both of you. I’m a never Mo, but was raised fundamentalist Christian and can relate to some of it.
Thank you for sharing your beautiful story! Jill Olsen is my sister in your old ward! My daughter Ciera Elliott also took tennis lessons from you at the courts by your house and my son Beau was good friends with your brothers at Desert Hills High School! Small world🥰We all stopped going around 2016;-) Cheers To You Guys!
This is the loveliest video ❤️❤️❤️ I'm so grateful I have heard your story! I feel like I understand you both so much more now. Lapsed Catholic (😂) Lesbian Mother of two female humans here. Thanks so much for being such beautiful examples of living a life of LOVE! Longtime PROUD Lurker here, sending all my best energy at you both 🥰 Your voice really makes a difference ❤️❤️❤️❤️
Excellent talk Mellisa, you got me teary eyed for you and the family , and I’m thrilled it was resolved. Confessing to us viewers took bravery. Sam, you did a great job as the interviewer.
What a great story. You are both such wonderful people. Seeing Melissa get choked up when speaking about her parent's marriage being in jeopardy was so touching.
Aww Melissa my heart broke for you when you talked about feeling responsible for crushing your mom. I could really feel the weight of that and have felt the heart wrenching pain with family and my own mom in a similar way. So hard. I'm so grateful you all are in a better place and your parents have made things work ❤ and I'm so SO glad you and Sam found each other. What a blessing.
Thank you for sharing your story, Melissa. So good to hear it. You didn't "Grow up in Polygamy", but you are half of this amazing podcast team, so your story is so valuable for us as listeners. Great to get to know you a bit!
We often have to make horrible decisions where we know we are going to hurt someone. By being truthful to your parents, you enabled your dad to get that huge weight off his shoulders and he could also be truthful. Maybe they wouldn't be together if he had never been able to tell the truth. Now they are living their best lives. And nobody is living a lie. It was such a positive thing that you did xx
Yess thank you so much for this! I was going to comment before how much I would love to hear Melissa’s full story. I remember wanting to hear more in their Mormon stories episode. Can’t wait to watch ❤️
Wow, Melissa. I wasn't expecting your exit from Mormonism to happen before you met Sam. That was a curve ball and I know you got married in the temple. Can't wait to hear the rest. This was riveting! Thanks for sharing your story
Same! Her story is just as interesting as his... she was questioning what she grew up in, and it also had big repercussions in her family.... what they both did took guts!
I am so glad your parents worked things out. Faith is a personal thing & and good marriage should respect each others faith without either one having to change. My son changed his faith because he fell in love with a catholic girl & that upset me greatly. It still does & I struggle with that. Love your channel- coming from the UK I find your channel so interesting. Isn’t it sad that religion is so controlling because Jesus wasn’t & the bible isn’t. Love to you all.
I totally enjoyed Melissa's story 💜 you guys are such a beautiful couple and a pleasure to watch. I also saw Sam on with Vinnie Politan and felt a real sense of pride for him! Keep shining
@marianboudreau1337 I don't know how to link it, but I found it. If you type in RUclips search bar, Court TV Vinnie Politan Investigates Chloe Driver Cult Baby Murder Trial. Sam is a guest to talk about cult behavior. He appears in the first 10 minutes if you don't want to watch the whole video, it's a sad case.
Sam, I'd say you did a great job asking questions. Very very thorough. Melissa, I feel like we'd have been friends as kids, I was a major rule follower as well.
Another great episode! Melissa I had no idea you were so deeply questioning your faith before you and Sam got together. That was a plot twist I didn’t see coming! I can’t wait for your next episode!
Thank you for sharing your story, I’m not a believer but I’m fascinated by everyone’s different interpretations of faith & how it affected them growing up.
Melissa you are so incredibly articulate. You brought me back to so many details of my own life being raised LDS that I forgot about. I'm sure you realize this in hindsight, but the thing between your mom and dad actually had nothing to do with you. It has to do with them and the high demand religion they were in. I'm glad they are happy now.
Loved your story Melissa! I am not a religious person and I wasn’t brought up religious but I am a “rule follower” as well and your story really resonated with me. I love how you and Sam share the very emotional parts of your lives in a very sincere way.
@@GrowingUpinPolygamy Also, as another viewer mentioned, your mother's crisis when you and your Dad shared that you didn't really believe any longer, was not your fault --- at all. Everyone makes their own choices and is responsible for their own actions (and reactions). If was anyone's fault it was the LDS church's fault for teaching her those (false) beliefs.
I wasn't even Mormon, but when they found out my dad was from Utah I got the "how many moms do you have?" question. It didn't help that he had a kid from a previous marriage. One time I just rolled with it, and they totally bought it hook, line and sinker. I really had them going.
I attended a Mormon church...Did not think much of it as i was going to many different churches as a kid...What i do remembered,most churches fought against each other..But they all taught us about God and Jesus and being save to enter the land of God which is heaven..😊.
Awesome! My heart ached for you, Melissa, when you were struggling to talk about your parents dark times, and your assumed part in it. Most churches hold a person accountable for things that in truth God is the one in control and accountable for. We may not always understand God's ways and the why's, but I do believe things don't happen without God's hand on them. I've enjoyed your personal story so much. Thanks & God's blessings on you both.
I love hearing your stories - both of you. It's so interesting to hear the beliefs of a religion I'm not familiar with myself. Religion, to me, really can hold you back in many respects. I, too, was the oldest in my family, we attended the Methodist church and although it was not nearly as stringent, I was always terrified that God was watching me and finding fault with me even though I was a very good rule-following kid like you, Melissa. We were taught we were sinners but I could never figure out how. I'm over it now, I have a great relationship with "God" and I know I'm loved and do not have to jump through any hoops to be worth loving. Thanks for sharing - I love you both so much 💕
Thanks so much for opening up about your story Melissa! It was very interesting to hear your perspective. I totally see why you and Sam are a great match ❤.
Well told Melissa! And well done, Sam. It is so sad that all those rules led to stress as a young person. It was a time you should have been a child, carefree, making mistakes, and having fun. Im glad your parents stayed together and hope you know that your Dad losing his faith wasn't your fault, while his timing to announce it was unfortunate. coincided with your questioning. Kudos to them both for prioritising their relationship and working through religious differences despite the church or community influence. I admire your independence and the fact that you managed to think criticaly and question your faith in spite of everything. Lovely to see the communication and understanding between you both. And again often out of hard times good things come and it seems that the best thing about mormonism is its community structures, which ironically broughtyou two together.Cc🎉
Would love to hear more about how Mormons believe the atonement happened in the garden vs at the crucifixion. Thanks for the video! Hearing both of y'alls stories has been some of the best content on your channel!
I so relate with Melissa. I also had scrupulosity. I totally remember that movie about the girl in the bishops office. Thanks for all your content. I really enjoy it. And my name is also Melissa ❤
Thank you for sharing your story Melissa. I can relate to your story of growing up Mormon, but I grew up Catholic. I grew up with a fear of God and always worried about doing the right thing. I’d go to confession and I’d sleep with a rosary under my pillow. I had a lot of guilt that I now see that was anxiety. I drove away from the church for a while because I felt forced by my parents so much. I chose a Christian church later on and am in a very good place now. It took a few years to tell my parents that I wasn’t a Catholic any more. Btw… I was also an all- star for ino back in the day;)🍔.
Hi guys, loved hearing about Melissa's story. I want more. Please do a part 2. Not taking anything away from Sam's story though. I love you both and find both your stories about growing up FLDS and LDS and your awesome stories about where you are now and how you navigate being parents with your backgrounds. Keep up the great work as your channel helps so many people from many different backgrounds. ❤❤
Thank you for sharing your story, Melissa. I think that you're correct when you view your past experiences through the lens of religious scrupulosity. I was also thinking that Sam would make a good hospital chaplain or spiritual care provider because he is so empathetic. If he's considering a career change, I would highly recommend that career path, especially because of his experiences with people with various religious beliefs. 🙂
Great video! In fact, I'm thinking about sharing it with some of my Protestant friends so that they can understand a little bit better what it was like for me growing up. The only difference is that I grew up in Texas, so I had a lot more non-LDS friends. In fact, for elementary and middle school, mine was the only LDS family in our town. Bet you never had to drive an hour for Sacrament meeting like I did! We were so excited to get a new stake center because it meant only having to drive 30 minutes! The Dallas temple was about two hours away with traffic, so we went and did B4D about once every 6 months, usually on a Wednesday night and would go to Cici's pizza afterwards. It was a huge deal. The idea of being able to go to the temple every day is really weird. And if you're keeping up with the Fairview temple drama, I grew up in that neck of the woods and remember when the McKinney Ward split into McKinney 1st and 2nd Wards. And of course, I talk about it every time Fairview is mentioned. I'm so horrible!
I'm more aware of baptist and non-denomination terminology so when I first heard the term "sealing" I thought ya'll were saying "ceiling". lol. My mind went to the concept of the "glass ceiling" that many women have to break through... so that's what I thought ya'll were talking about in previous videos. Thank you for explaining it here!
I grew up in a Southern Baptist church, then after a church split, we went to a Pentecostal church. We got the very same "purity culture" talks, no "heavy petting" rules, etc. In my house, my dad told me I could only go out on chaperoned, group dates when I was 16, and I couldn't go out alone with a guy until I was 18 (and only after my dad met him and approved). That was definitely church culture at that time! Of course, I graduated from high school when I was 17, and was a university student living in a dorm when I was 18. Within 6 months of leaving home, I broke every rule I grew up with. I'm lucky I made it through my freshman year without any life-altering incidents. I am still mortified by my over-compensation during my college years. Decades later, I asked my mom what she would have done differently when I was growing up, and she said, "Maybe we shouldn't have been so strict with you."
I didn’t date until I was 16 but I was a WWII baby and for my generation that was common. Because of the way things were then I started 1st grade with a group of kids and graduated high school with that same group of kids. Our parents all knew each other because back then all parents belonged to the Parent Teacher Association. Everyone knew each other.
(1) I love watching the gears turn in Sam's head as he's processing Melissa's words and coming up with questions to test the logic and boundaries of the stories and systems she's describing. And I realize she does this too when she interviews him. I totally see both why they're together and why they made this channel. They so are both so curious, thoughtful and thorough people. (2) Seeing Melissa's emotion, even when she's trying to hold it back to keep decorum in the video, is so powerful. Like describing the women's group video about the postponed wedding. Even though you're trying to hold back I can hear the pain and anger in your voice. I'm sorry you were put through all of that. (3) Religious scrupulousity indeed. The most strict and devout people often end up being the ones who become exmo. Like Alyssa Grenfell was exactly the same way. Following everything to the T and following all the rules. I don't know if you guys have watched Secret Lives of Mormon Wives. But like... members online have trashed the castmembers for not being 'real' mormons and they're such horrible examples. But like... if you ask me, them keeping their relationship with the faith more casual is a big reason that they're able to continue with the faith for so long. Intense religious scrupulosity, especially from people so intelligent as Melissa, I think often leads to people leaving because they figure it out so quickly. Demanding the high level of devoutness from every member without exception would surely lead to more and more defection.
Sam/Melissa, my mother’s family will all be together in the “after life” because we are all buried in the same cemetery. My mom was one of eight children. Needless to say we were all very close. My mom’s best friends were her sisters and brothers. We were all together for lunch every Sunday of the year and of course on each other’s birthdays and anniversaries. I was so fortunate to have such a wonderful family.
Okay am newer to this channel, was raised in a non denominational Christian home, no religion. Taught about the trinity and the Bible and nothing else. I cannot imagine what you have been through. Still read my Bible and pray but will have nothing to do with any religion. Wish you guys the best.
Here's the thing; from the view of a non-religious person: Melissa, you seem like a really good person- and that is because of who you, yourself, are; nothing to do with following a set of (quite frankly) arbitrary rules.
Love this series, Sam & Melissa! I’ve jerk looking forward to it every Saturday! You guys are both articulate, approachable, humble, and encouraging, and I love your channel! Question- the culture of “happy valley” sounds like it could be quite problematic: pressure to marry, quick engagements, becoming saddled with children without much education, etc. From your experience living in this environment and seeing it play out long-terms, do these marriages generally survive? What positive or negative consequences do you see as a result of this sort of culture? Would certainly welcome a video on this topic!
Thank you so much. That question would make for a great video. I honestly think that divorce rates are probably about the same as anywhere else. There are definitely divorces that happen from marriages happening too young, and also plenty of success stories of people moving too quickly like Sam and Me haha. I think the dating culture is the wild part. Everyone is looking soooo hard that I think sometimes it makes dating harder than it needs to be. Once the pressure is off (Me saying I'm going to never get married and Sam praying that he doesn't have time) then things can happen more naturally. =)
I have never clicked on a link so fast! I am so excited to hear your story, Meissa. I have been to 49 states, but my only experience in Utah was St. George and Bryce and Zion canyons. Oh and Four corners, as I was road tripping. But I remember being SO weirded out in St. George! I was kind of obsessed with Mormons back then (still am, LOL) and it was so weird to be in the belly of the beast... well, considering I've never been to SLC LOL. I remember we went to restaurant and where there are usually pamphlets and magazines for tourists, there were actual books of mormon! Our hotel had one too!!!
13:38 I think that's part of why we see story after story involving members of the "church" coming out with kids who trusted their elders and guardians and that trust was manipulated to a dangerous extent. Much like Catholics inherently trust(ed) priests and other Catholic families, and it's extremely easy to harm those when there is such a baseline of trust. 😢
I love how attentive both of you are to each other. When one talks, the other is engaged and looks at the other person. It’s super sweet!
They seem like such a wonderful couple. ❤
I agree .. couple goals ❤they are both so lovely
Thank you all so much ❤️
Agree! I also noticed that and I love how they invested in what’s being said that they know when to comfort each other. I also appreciate that Sam is really trying hard to give Melissa her chance whereas we’ve been listening to his story a lot. I think that’s so neat to see.
Thanks for sharing your testimony. Look forward to part 2.
You two are such an excellent example of what a healthy respectful, mutually loving marriage should be ❤
I so enjoy watching your channel ❤
Aww thank you so much!
It's hard to see Melissa in pain but it's beautiful to see Sam be so supportive and loving to you. You're a beautiful couple.
You helped your parents by being real Melissa, as hard as I'm sure it was to go through. Things had to be broken down to then be rebuilt into something better.
Thanks for sharing your story so openly and honestly. It is helpful to hear. Love your channel, you two are fantastic!
I love your story Melissa. Especially, finding Sam. Here's mine. I was sitting in the choir at church after a failed marriage and a boyfriend that God physically moved to another state. I was so glum that day, talking to God and saying stuff like "I'm gonna be an old woman with cats." I looked around the congregation searching for single men and finding no one suitable. As we stood to sing "I surrender all" a man comes down the aisle to make a profession of faith. In my mind I though" Yeah Lord it will probably be this guy". We've been married for over thirty years now. God works in mysterious ways, and sometimes he laughs at our silliness.
“And we have two awesome kids.”
“Yes we do!”
I hate to be a dork, but I always 😊 at this in every episode. 😆 Just wanted to say how much I appreciate your channel. 👍
LOL I love it too!
I'm halfway through this and wanted to jump in and say that I think this role reversal is going swimmingly! You both actually LISTEN to each other no matter who is doing the asking, so to speak. I also like how pictures of your youth, etc., have been scattered within the show. GREAT job!! XO from Lisa in Pennsylvania
Thank you so much! ❤️
Making me cry while trying to put on my makeup😢 I’m sorry you thought what happened between your partners was your fault❤ I’m glad you no longer place the blame on yourself. How beautiful your parents loved each other through their faith journeys.
You both have lived through so much religious trauma, I’m totally impressed how you have picked up the pieces, together ❤
Thank you so much ❤️
Melissa, thank you for sharing and well done, Sam, in your role as interviewer!
A few things I would love to know more about Melissa’s story:
- gender roles you saw growing up in the home and church and what you thought about them
- more about your experience playing tennis and how did that match with Mormon values.
- what you went to college for?
- did you ever try out any evangelical Christian churchs when you were feeling you no longer believed in Mormonism?
- what were the main points that made you not believe? What part of the church history? Did you feel lied to or deceived after finding out more information?
- what more specifically were qualities you were looking for in a husband when you went back to church to try to find your husband
These are fantastic questions that deserve their own video! A lot of them will be answered in our upcoming video of "Why we left" so stay tuned! =)
When I see you two looking at each other it is a deep love. So happy you two are married.
Thank you so much. ❤️
I absolutely love the follow up questions that Sam asked, because sometimes when Melissa was speaking she was all speaking as if all of her audience is Mormon, and some of the lingo I didn't know because I'm not Mormon so I'm glad that he asked her to clarify and explain certain Mormon lingo, and Melissa explained it excellent... Good job Melissa and Sam💯😁
Thank you so much! I am so glad he asked those questions as well! - Melissa
I was hanging on to every word that each of you spoke in this video. From a non-Mormon, I found it so interesting, and I finally understand why the Mormons that I know are so steeped in their religion and beliefs. I do believe that your upbringing helped to shape you into the beautiful people that you are today! I can hardly wait for the next video when you tell about how you started your life together. Thank you so much for sharing your lives with us. I don’t think you realize how much people love you because of who you are, and the godly character you portray, even though you have stepped out of your “faith”. I believe the Holy Spirit really has been leading both of you into the true freedom of God himself. This is so much bigger than what the Mormon church has made him out to be! you both are so precious! Thank you.
Thank you so much! You are too sweet!
Melissa, kudos to you for being so honest and vulnerable it takes guts. I love how authentic you both are and so straight up about your journeys, much love ❤
I remember listening to a former UK LDS member on Mormon Stories mention the Temple and the unfairness of the rules. There was an elderly woman in his ward who couldn’t tithe, or she would lose her government assistance. She confessed to him how she would love to see the Temple and experience the blessings, but she wasn’t allowed because of tithing. He thought it was a terrible restriction, and I agree. She was so sad that she was forever barred from being in the Temple. Thanks for sharing your story, both of you. I’m a never Mo, but was raised fundamentalist Christian and can relate to some of it.
That is sooo sad! Especially when the church no longer needs tithes at all.
Wow. In tears. Melissa you have taken on burdens so strongly. Thank you so much for sharing.❤
Thank you so much for listening! Having such supportive comments means the world to me. ❤️
What a beautiful talk. Thank you both for sharing.
Thank you for sharing your beautiful story! Jill Olsen is my sister in your old ward! My daughter Ciera Elliott also took tennis lessons from you at the courts by your house and my son Beau was good friends with your brothers at Desert Hills High School! Small world🥰We all stopped going around 2016;-) Cheers To You Guys!
This is the loveliest video ❤️❤️❤️ I'm so grateful I have heard your story!
I feel like I understand you both so much more now.
Lapsed Catholic (😂) Lesbian Mother of two female humans here.
Thanks so much for being such beautiful examples of living a life of LOVE!
Longtime PROUD Lurker here, sending all my best energy at you both 🥰
Your voice really makes a difference ❤️❤️❤️❤️
Thank you so much!
Excellent talk Mellisa, you got me teary eyed for you and the family , and I’m thrilled it was resolved. Confessing to us viewers took bravery. Sam, you did a great job as the interviewer.
What a great story. You are both such wonderful people. Seeing Melissa get choked up when speaking about her parent's marriage being in jeopardy was so touching.
Aww Melissa my heart broke for you when you talked about feeling responsible for crushing your mom. I could really feel the weight of that and have felt the heart wrenching pain with family and my own mom in a similar way. So hard. I'm so grateful you all are in a better place and your parents have made things work ❤ and I'm so SO glad you and Sam found each other. What a blessing.
Thank you, Melissa! Love your photo with your children - your daughter's smile resembles yours and your son's smile Sam's. Very sweet🌹🩵
They really do! What a cute picture - the kids’ features favor their parents adorably - excited to hear Melissa’s story 💜⚡️
Thank you for sharing your story, Melissa. So good to hear it. You didn't "Grow up in Polygamy", but you are half of this amazing podcast team, so your story is so valuable for us as listeners. Great to get to know you a bit!
Thank you so much!
Melissa it’s so amazing you and Sam found each other. You have each been through so so much, what wonderful parents you are.
Thank you so much ❤️
Great video! I’ve enjoyed hearing your stories and hope to hear more. It’s great when you find your “soul mate”.
It is the best! ❤️
We often have to make horrible decisions where we know we are going to hurt someone.
By being truthful to your parents, you enabled your dad to get that huge weight off his shoulders and he could also be truthful.
Maybe they wouldn't be together if he had never been able to tell the truth. Now they are living their best lives.
And nobody is living a lie.
It was such a positive thing that you did xx
Thank you so much for this. Seeing them now be so authentic has been beautiful. ❤️
Yess thank you so much for this! I was going to comment before how much I would love to hear Melissa’s full story. I remember wanting to hear more in their Mormon stories episode. Can’t wait to watch ❤️
I love these stories. This type of religion is so foreign to me but I love hearing about it.
Wow, Melissa. I wasn't expecting your exit from Mormonism to happen before you met Sam. That was a curve ball and I know you got married in the temple. Can't wait to hear the rest. This was riveting! Thanks for sharing your story
Thank you so much!
I've been waiting for this video!!
Me too
Same! Her story is just as interesting as his... she was questioning what she grew up in, and it also had big repercussions in her family.... what they both did took guts!
I am so glad your parents worked things out. Faith is a personal thing & and good marriage should respect each others faith without either one having to change. My son changed his faith because he fell in love with a catholic girl & that upset me greatly. It still does & I struggle with that. Love your channel- coming from the UK I find your channel so interesting. Isn’t it sad that religion is so controlling because Jesus wasn’t & the bible isn’t. Love to you all.
I totally enjoyed Melissa's story 💜 you guys are such a beautiful couple and a pleasure to watch. I also saw Sam on with Vinnie Politan and felt a real sense of pride for him! Keep shining
Where can I watch that? Do you have a link? I would love to see it. Thanks a bunch.
@marianboudreau1337 I don't know how to link it, but I found it. If you type in RUclips search bar, Court TV Vinnie Politan Investigates Chloe Driver Cult Baby Murder Trial. Sam is a guest to talk about cult behavior. He appears in the first 10 minutes if you don't want to watch the whole video, it's a sad case.
Thank you so much!!
Sam, I'd say you did a great job asking questions. Very very thorough.
Melissa, I feel like we'd have been friends as kids, I was a major rule follower as well.
Thank you so much! 😊
Another great episode! Melissa I had no idea you were so deeply questioning your faith before you and Sam got together. That was a plot twist I didn’t see coming! I can’t wait for your next episode!
Great video! You have entertained me for 1 1/2 hours non-stop. What a wonderful couple! I can't wait to hear the rest of your story! 🫶
Aww thank you!
Thank you for sharing your story, I’m not a believer but I’m fascinated by everyone’s different interpretations of faith & how it affected them growing up.
Thanks for sharing your story Melissa. ❤ love the picture of y’all and your children, beautiful family.
Thank you so much!
I’m really enjoying ya’ll going through your Mormon stories. Melissa loved hearing yours today. Can’t wait for the rest. ❤
Melissa-What you said about Christ’s blood makes perfect sense to me. I never wanted to be the reason that he felt even more pain.
I love this! I love hearing your story. I’m active lds and thank you for being so respectful.
Melissa you are so incredibly articulate. You brought me back to so many details of my own life being raised LDS that I forgot about. I'm sure you realize this in hindsight, but the thing between your mom and dad actually had nothing to do with you. It has to do with them and the high demand religion they were in. I'm glad they are happy now.
So loved hearing your story! Can't wait for next week as this series unfolds.
Loved your story Melissa!
I am not a religious person and I wasn’t brought up religious but I am a “rule follower” as well and your story really resonated with me.
I love how you and Sam share the very emotional parts of your lives in a very sincere way.
I learn something new every time I watch you both. Thank you and please keep doing them.
😊
One of the Best You Tube Videos I have every watched. And I have watched a lot of them. Love your honesty and openness Melissa.
Wow, thank you!
@@GrowingUpinPolygamy Also, as another viewer mentioned, your mother's crisis when you and your Dad shared that you didn't really believe any longer, was not your fault --- at all. Everyone makes their own choices and is responsible for their own actions (and reactions). If was anyone's fault it was the LDS church's fault for teaching her those (false) beliefs.
I wasn't even Mormon, but when they found out my dad was from Utah I got the "how many moms do you have?" question. It didn't help that he had a kid from a previous marriage. One time I just rolled with it, and they totally bought it hook, line and sinker. I really had them going.
10:36 Facts! Best big sister in the world ❤
Sweet♥️
Aww thanks sis 😘
I attended a Mormon church...Did not think much of it as i was going to many different churches as a kid...What i do remembered,most churches fought against each other..But they all taught us about God and Jesus and being save to enter the land of God which is heaven..😊.
Awesome! My heart ached for you, Melissa, when you were struggling to talk about your parents dark times, and your assumed part in it. Most churches hold a person accountable for things that in truth God is the one in control and accountable for. We may not always understand God's ways and the why's, but I do believe things don't happen without God's hand on them.
I've enjoyed your personal story so much. Thanks & God's blessings on you both.
I enjoy all your podcasts. But this one I enjoyed the most because of all the honesty. Bless you and your family.
Thank you so much!
Love hearing your story!!!
Remembrr you guys from your early days. Great then. Great now. Thanx.❤🎉
Thank you so much! ❤️
Oooh I've been waiting for this one.
I love hearing your stories - both of you. It's so interesting to hear the beliefs of a religion I'm not familiar with myself. Religion, to me, really can hold you back in many respects. I, too, was the oldest in my family, we attended the Methodist church and although it was not nearly as stringent, I was always terrified that God was watching me and finding fault with me even though I was a very good rule-following kid like you, Melissa. We were taught we were sinners but I could never figure out how. I'm over it now, I have a great relationship with "God" and I know I'm loved and do not have to jump through any hoops to be worth loving. Thanks for sharing - I love you both so much 💕
Thanks so much for opening up about your story Melissa! It was very interesting to hear your perspective. I totally see why you and Sam are a great match ❤.
Thank you so much!
Well told Melissa! And well done, Sam. It is so sad that all those rules led to stress as a young person. It was a time you should have been a child, carefree, making mistakes, and having fun. Im glad your parents stayed together and hope you know that your Dad losing his faith wasn't your fault, while his timing to announce it was unfortunate. coincided with your questioning. Kudos to them both for prioritising their relationship and working through religious differences despite the church or community influence. I admire your independence and the fact that you managed to think criticaly and question your faith in spite of everything. Lovely to see the communication and understanding between you both. And again often out of hard times good things come and it seems that the best thing about mormonism is its community structures, which ironically broughtyou two together.Cc🎉
I am thoroughly enjoying this series. It’s good to hear Melissa’s side of the story too.
Thank you so much!
❤I so enjoy watching and listening to your podcast
Thank you for your story. 💞
This is a very interesting story, Melissa! I'm very much looking forward to the next video!
I enjoyed listening to your story Melissa. Thanks for sharing. It must have been hard. You sholder a lot.
Thank you so much. It was a little scary but all the love and support has made it so worth it. ❤️
Thanks for sharing, definitely seems like God leading you to Sam ❤
Great episode! Can’t wait to hear the next part!
Would love to hear more about how Mormons believe the atonement happened in the garden vs at the crucifixion. Thanks for the video! Hearing both of y'alls stories has been some of the best content on your channel!
Thank you for sharing your story ❤You are both amazing ❤
I can’t wait for your second story.
Thank you for sharing Mellisa ❤️❤️❤️
I so relate with Melissa. I also had scrupulosity. I totally remember that movie about the girl in the bishops office. Thanks for all your content. I really enjoy it. And my name is also Melissa ❤
This was awesome Melissa and Sam! 🙌🏻👋🏼😁💞
Thank you so much!
Sweet Melissa, I could’ve been your mom, I only wish that my daughter could’ve given me the grace that you gave your parents ♥️♥️♥️
I hope someday she does. ❤️
Thank you for sharing your story Melissa. I can relate to your story of growing up Mormon, but I grew up Catholic. I grew up with a fear of God and always worried about doing the right thing. I’d go to confession and I’d sleep with a rosary under my pillow. I had a lot of guilt that I now see that was anxiety. I drove away from the church for a while because I felt forced by my parents so much. I chose a Christian church later on and am in a very good place now. It took a few years to tell my parents that I wasn’t a Catholic any more. Btw… I was also an all- star for ino back in the day;)🍔.
Thank you so much! And an All Star! That's Amazing! Best of the best! ❤️ IYKYK - Melissa
Oh Melissa what a sweet daughter and kind soul. It wasn't your fault 😢❤
Thank you so much. ❤️
Hi guys, loved hearing about Melissa's story. I want more. Please do a part 2. Not taking anything away from Sam's story though. I love you both and find both your stories about growing up FLDS and LDS and your awesome stories about where you are now and how you navigate being parents with your backgrounds. Keep up the great work as your channel helps so many people from many different backgrounds. ❤❤
Thank you so much!
Thank you Melissa!! 😊
Thank you for sharing your story, Melissa. I think that you're correct when you view your past experiences through the lens of religious scrupulosity. I was also thinking that Sam would make a good hospital chaplain or spiritual care provider because he is so empathetic. If he's considering a career change, I would highly recommend that career path, especially because of his experiences with people with various religious beliefs. 🙂
You are right! He just has that vibe. They are both amazing!!!
Great video! In fact, I'm thinking about sharing it with some of my Protestant friends so that they can understand a little bit better what it was like for me growing up. The only difference is that I grew up in Texas, so I had a lot more non-LDS friends. In fact, for elementary and middle school, mine was the only LDS family in our town. Bet you never had to drive an hour for Sacrament meeting like I did! We were so excited to get a new stake center because it meant only having to drive 30 minutes!
The Dallas temple was about two hours away with traffic, so we went and did B4D about once every 6 months, usually on a Wednesday night and would go to Cici's pizza afterwards. It was a huge deal. The idea of being able to go to the temple every day is really weird. And if you're keeping up with the Fairview temple drama, I grew up in that neck of the woods and remember when the McKinney Ward split into McKinney 1st and 2nd Wards. And of course, I talk about it every time Fairview is mentioned. I'm so horrible!
I'm more aware of baptist and non-denomination terminology so when I first heard the term "sealing" I thought ya'll were saying "ceiling". lol. My mind went to the concept of the "glass ceiling" that many women have to break through... so that's what I thought ya'll were talking about in previous videos. Thank you for explaining it here!
I love your stories. I can’t wait to hear more. ❤️
Thank you so much!
I grew up in a Southern Baptist church, then after a church split, we went to a Pentecostal church. We got the very same "purity culture" talks, no "heavy petting" rules, etc. In my house, my dad told me I could only go out on chaperoned, group dates when I was 16, and I couldn't go out alone with a guy until I was 18 (and only after my dad met him and approved). That was definitely church culture at that time! Of course, I graduated from high school when I was 17, and was a university student living in a dorm when I was 18. Within 6 months of leaving home, I broke every rule I grew up with. I'm lucky I made it through my freshman year without any life-altering incidents. I am still mortified by my over-compensation during my college years. Decades later, I asked my mom what she would have done differently when I was growing up, and she said, "Maybe we shouldn't have been so strict with you."
I didn’t date until I was 16 but I was a WWII baby and for my generation that was common.
Because of the way things were then I started 1st grade with a group of kids and graduated high school with that same group of kids. Our parents all knew each other because back then all parents belonged to the Parent Teacher Association.
Everyone knew each other.
It seems to be sooo common with a lot of Christian religions.
you guys do a wonderful job. Always interesting. May you and your family have a Happy Thanksgiving 🦃🍁🍽
Thank you! You as well!
Melissa's story let's goooooo!!!! :D
(1) I love watching the gears turn in Sam's head as he's processing Melissa's words and coming up with questions to test the logic and boundaries of the stories and systems she's describing. And I realize she does this too when she interviews him. I totally see both why they're together and why they made this channel. They so are both so curious, thoughtful and thorough people.
(2) Seeing Melissa's emotion, even when she's trying to hold it back to keep decorum in the video, is so powerful. Like describing the women's group video about the postponed wedding. Even though you're trying to hold back I can hear the pain and anger in your voice. I'm sorry you were put through all of that.
(3) Religious scrupulousity indeed. The most strict and devout people often end up being the ones who become exmo. Like Alyssa Grenfell was exactly the same way. Following everything to the T and following all the rules. I don't know if you guys have watched Secret Lives of Mormon Wives. But like... members online have trashed the castmembers for not being 'real' mormons and they're such horrible examples. But like... if you ask me, them keeping their relationship with the faith more casual is a big reason that they're able to continue with the faith for so long. Intense religious scrupulosity, especially from people so intelligent as Melissa, I think often leads to people leaving because they figure it out so quickly. Demanding the high level of devoutness from every member without exception would surely lead to more and more defection.
Thank you so much for this. I feel very seen and I appreciate you sharing your support with me. ❤️ - Melissa
Sam/Melissa, my mother’s family will all be together in the “after life” because we are all buried in the same cemetery. My mom was one of eight children. Needless to say we were all very close. My mom’s best friends were her sisters and brothers. We were all together for lunch every Sunday of the year and of course on each other’s birthdays and anniversaries.
I was so fortunate to have such a wonderful family.
I am not a believer, of any faith. I was raised Southern Baptist. But, your stories fascinate me. 0:49
Love your story, Melissa ❤
I loved your story and how you guys tell your stories with so much respect for others ❤❤
Okay am newer to this channel, was raised in a non denominational Christian home, no religion. Taught about the trinity and the Bible and nothing else. I cannot imagine what you have been through. Still read my Bible and pray but will have nothing to do with any religion. Wish you guys the best.
I am really enjoying listening to your stories!!❤
Loved this!! Thank you Melissa
Leaving a comment for the algorithm. It was so interesting and nice to hear more of your story
Thank you so much!
Here's the thing; from the view of a non-religious person: Melissa, you seem like a really good person- and that is because of who you, yourself, are; nothing to do with following a set of (quite frankly) arbitrary rules.
Thank you ❤️
I find both of your stories interesting!
Thank you!
Love this series, Sam & Melissa! I’ve jerk looking forward to it every Saturday! You guys are both articulate, approachable, humble, and encouraging, and I love your channel!
Question- the culture of “happy valley” sounds like it could be quite problematic: pressure to marry, quick engagements, becoming saddled with children without much education, etc. From your experience living in this environment and seeing it play out long-terms, do these marriages generally survive? What positive or negative consequences do you see as a result of this sort of culture? Would certainly welcome a video on this topic!
Thank you so much. That question would make for a great video. I honestly think that divorce rates are probably about the same as anywhere else. There are definitely divorces that happen from marriages happening too young, and also plenty of success stories of people moving too quickly like Sam and Me haha. I think the dating culture is the wild part. Everyone is looking soooo hard that I think sometimes it makes dating harder than it needs to be. Once the pressure is off (Me saying I'm going to never get married and Sam praying that he doesn't have time) then things can happen more naturally. =)
Just love you both
I have never clicked on a link so fast! I am so excited to hear your story, Meissa. I have been to 49 states, but my only experience in Utah was St. George and Bryce and Zion canyons. Oh and Four corners, as I was road tripping. But I remember being SO weirded out in St. George! I was kind of obsessed with Mormons back then (still am, LOL) and it was so weird to be in the belly of the beast... well, considering I've never been to SLC LOL. I remember we went to restaurant and where there are usually pamphlets and magazines for tourists, there were actual books of mormon! Our hotel had one too!!!
I love your dynamic! I hope with all my heart that your are for life even if there must be smal bumps❤❤❤❤
13:38 I think that's part of why we see story after story involving members of the "church" coming out with kids who trusted their elders and guardians and that trust was manipulated to a dangerous extent. Much like Catholics inherently trust(ed) priests and other Catholic families, and it's extremely easy to harm those when there is such a baseline of trust. 😢
Looking forward to the next episode!! And very curious how you deconstructed together.
This was great.., Thank You.
Thank you for watching! ❤️